• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

PMD : Bad Dreams... (Rated PG-13)

Torosiken

This is a title.
Okay here goes my other fanfic and I think I going to erase the other one.
Sorry if my grammar's bad... :( yea.. I am really bad in it...
But.. here it is... Torosiken presents...
;255; ;300;

It is a story of a skitty and a torchic...
and a dark future awaits in front of them...


Bad Dreams...
Rated PG-13​

chapter one--


All dark…
Where am I…? All of them are dark…
I don’t understand….
All of this…
….

I hear a strange sound… of a clash….
I scream.
“…L…O..!!!”
“G…vy..e!!!”
“Be careful…! They’re strong…!”
“Ah…! Uh…”
“Behind you!!!” I turn and see a glimpse of shadow above me.
“Uh…!” he jump and protect me…
“Gr..le!!”
“They’re…. so… uh..”
“No…!”
Then I hear a laugh. An evil laugh.
“Muahahahaha… you won’t get away from me!”
“No…! You’re….”
That shadow coming toward us. No… is this the end…? Then I hear other sound.
“Quick! This way!” someone tell us the way. We go there.
“Hurry!”
“You’re not getting away!” that shadow chase us.
“Ukh…!”
“C…bi!!!”
“..lo!!!”

“Sky…! Sky…! Wake up..!!!” I hear someone calling my name.
“Oh! Good morning, Momo…” I smiled to her.
“You got that dream again?”
“I guess so… But it a little different from before…” I sighed.
“Oh…” she walk away.
“Hurry…! We must go to work…!”
“Oh, yea…!” I run to chase Momo.

Oh yea, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Sky. I am a skitty. Trough I don’t really know about myself, because I got an amnesia. Yea… I even not remember my name. That one who woke me up is Momo. My partner, a torchic. She found me unconcious in the beach. She is the one who give me the name ‘Sky’.

Momo and I are partners. We work together for our team, the name is team ‘SkyWizzler’. This place is Wigglytuff Guild. I don’t understand why, but after I loss all my memories I getting some nightmares. Yeah… a really bad dream… I don’t know what’s their meanings, but I keeping get nightmares.

“Come on, Sky! Don’t daydreaming! Let’s go…!”
“Oh, yea! Wait for me, Momo!”
We go to the stairs and climb them. Then I see some guild members looking at a same board.

“What’s new…?” ask Momo.
“Go read it yourself! A thief appeared! He stole time gear from one place last night!” said Dugtrio.
“Who’s did that?”
“I don’t know… he’s still around so be careful!”
“I think this’ a chance for us, Sky. Let’s catch that thief!”
“Uh…? That phantom thief…?”
“Yea! Team SkyWizzler go to action!”
“Uh… okay…” I sweatdrops and follow Momo.

“C’mon, Sky!”
“Yes…!”
We go out to the village to get some informations. First we ask Kecleon Brothers’ Shop.
“Thief? We don’t know about that”
“He stole time gear!” said Momo.
“What? Time gear?” Xatu surprised.
“You know about that?”
“Yes… it’s a gear. If it stolen, time will be lost!”
Momo and I scared. But we must stop that thief.
“That will be dangerous! We will try our best…!”
“Thanks for the information, Xatu!”
We back to the guild and sharing informations with everyone.

“There are 5 time gears..” said Chatot.
“So we must protect the 4 other gears!”
“Yea…!”
All guild members back to their own room.

“We must back to our room too, Sky.”
“Yes…”

Gears….? Time…? Lost…? I have no connection with this all. But there’s a strange feeling from inside my body… calling for them…. What’s this feeling…?

---to be continued---
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
I am .. pretty sure I have already reviewed your previous work.

I am pretty sure I told you what to do/how to improve. I am also pretty sure, you did the exact same things in this as you did there.

- - -

Being a druid meant usually, you were either laid back. A fanatic, or rarely something in between, Loving nature and its creatures were a must. Being in tune with the Emerald Dream and the life around you was mandatory. And hating those that mucked everything up was optional. Unless you were fanatical. But that's beside the point.

Ariamodasu is a druid that held a mixture of the extremes. She was a rare gem in that front, but it wasn't something she boasted about. Infact she wasn't really boasting about anything at the moment as she grumbled to herself as the large creature she rode upon, a giant black beast wearing dented armor, trudged through the snow with little complaint. The massive Kodo didn't even seem to take note of the chill.

“Lucky *******,” Aria muttered out when she took notice, not holding back on using foul language. She was a Druid, not a saint.

This seemed to get a grunt from the large beast as with loud and near earth rumbling shakes, or atleast to anyone in the near vicenity, continued on, over the ice and snow. Across rocks. And bones.

Followed by some mindless Scourge that had seemingly gotten lost from the main mass.

Snapped out of her dour mood, Ariamodasu let out a cackle as the undead were all but crushed beneath her mount's feet as the Kodo blisfully continued on.

“What a good boy!” Aria exclaimed with a chuckle, patting the beast's flesh that wasn't covered by the battle armor it wore. In answer, came another low grunt, almost sounding pleased.

Still chuckling for a moment, Ariamodasu let her mirth tone down a bit before clucking her tounge against the roof of her mouth, making a clicking sound of sorts. It seemed to be a wordless command as the Kodo obediently turned more to the left, still trudging on.

Ariamodasu seemed content, to an extent to return to her grumblings on cold weather, snow and ilk like that- but it seemed this wasn't to be as a roar shattered the calm that had slightly settled over her world. Bolting upright in the saddle, Ariamodasu swore under her breath. Starting and swearing again as the roar came louder, Aria was finding herself now more annoyed. So it took a moment to click that she knew that loud bellowing...

But she had never heard it so loud- so angry.. no.. desperate? A chill went down Aria's spine and she found herself hoping it was just a cat that belonged to a Night Elf. She'd care less about it then. But without further complaint she had the beast speed up, ignoring the slight sound of complaint from the Kodo at this.

The roaring grew louder as she drew closer to the source of it all, What she saw next took her by surprise, so much so that she didn't even swear. But it answered alot. Chained down to the rocky ground was a Spirit Beast, infact the one she knew a friend had obtained, and the chains weren't ordinary as they managed to hold down the beast- they were also made of ice.

Eyes widening slightly, it answered any unspoken question that had been forming in her mind. But where was Ryai, damnit!? This was the new question, as she quickly dismounted, the Kodo seemed oblivious and grunted as Aria slowly moved away from her steed as she made her way slowly over to Spirit.

“Shh,” Aria got out as she crept closer to Spirit. The cat like beast still roared, and struggled ever fiercer to break free- for a moment Ariamodasu thought, had she mistaken the beast? She wasn't normally this suicidal- and taking on a possible Death Knight was something she would love to avoid. Spirit- or what she was now doubting as Spirit, roared again. Then to quickly to respond to, the beasts vivid bright blue eyes flashed a near white, the rune like spots that glew flashed just as brightly. It happened so fast all Aria could account for afterwards was a strike of light that was even flashier than a normal Moonfire.

For a moment the druid stood still, thinking she had been struck. Then a slight swearing hit her ears, she wasn;t a master of languages but it sounded like Thalassian, and it was coming from behind her! Whirling quickly she brought her hands up, green energy starting to chant as she gathered and released some of her mana for a quick spell, which seemed to not ammuse the Death Knight now before her, anymore than the blast of arcane had from the cat. But outside of some singed red-violet hair, he seemed scarily unscathed.

Which helped Aria think that the spell she was using was the right one now, even as the unnamed Death Knight chuckled, meanicingly at her, “Do you really think your spells will do anything to me? Or that your leather armor will stop my blade from tasting your flesh?” he half hissed, half chuckled out as with a air of arrogance the Blood Elf grabbed the hilt of a large two handed sword, unsheathing it with one hand as easily as if it was really meant for one handed wielding.

She wasn't so self centered as to think that- or arrogant enough to assume she stood a chance on her own, but she hadn't been casting a spell to attack him, herself. She had been calling help.

The Death Knight had been about to take a step forward when the earth around him trembled ever so slightly. Pausing and shooting the druid a look he glanced down at the earth momentarily. And while he didn't yelp from surprise at what happened next, there was a snarled swear that Ariamodasu didn't understand exactly, nor did she care. Whirling around, she turned her attention from the trio of Treants she had summoned and darted over to Spirit- let the undead fight her trees, she had more important matters to attend to right now!

Spirit roared and yowled nearly as Aria drew closer again, though he stilled when she brought out the large, somewhat worn wooden staff from behind her back. Without a word she raised it up and slashed down with the bottom end of the staff, striking the ice chains and breaking a link in the chain, before she quickly set about to do the same to the rest binding the great beast. The work wasn't easy and Aria was left panting and she knew she didn't have much time left, the trees would probably be stupid enough to be felled in a hit or two, “Where's your master?” Aria muttered to the now freed spirit beast. The animal paused in an attack to the Death Knight, turning glowing eyes onto Aria before spinning around and quickly sprinted away from her, deeper into the chasam.

Aria ignored the roar behind her, hoping it was just from the Death Knight, and not something worse, as she followed the beast, ignoring the cold as worry and fear gripped her.

And rightly so did that grip her as she had just squeaked out of being grabbed up by a death grip by the annoyed Death Knight- he had very little time left for the moment and everything seemed to be colaborating against him! This was beyond the saying 'just not my day!', swearing under his breath he sheathed his sword, ignoring the corpses of the fallen treants as with a free hand he grabbed a curled and ornate horn from his side and pulled it up, blowing it in answer to the roar from the air.

“By the old gods,” he hissed to himself, more irritated than enraged he had lost his window of opportunity... or maybe- any further thoughts were broken as a blast of frigid, soul chilling ice encased him, and then a second time. What a good thing it was he had no soul- or if he did, there was very little left of it.

Not really enraged, but annoyed further at this attack, he struggled briefly and broke free of the brittle encasing, glaring up at where his attacker was perched on a ledge above him. Then what little anger flowed through him quickly melted away as he smirked cruely as he recognized the figure above him.

“Alah'ni.”

‘Alah'ni’ tensed slightly, before there came a snapped “Adore.”

Kalon's lips tugged into a deeper smirk for a moment, so he had been right. “Ri dor mandalas nor asto're ishnu nor thus?” He questioned further in Thalassian.

“O no do nor nor aman dal'dieb o eraburis man'ar diel dal'doeb.” ‘Alah'ni’ snapped out.

“Diel diel,” Kalon chuckled out as he switched from the formerly native tongue of his, and into a form of common. “So what are you here for, then, fallen Death Knight?”

While the helm hid all of ‘Alah'ni's’ features, he was sure the former servant of the Lich King, was as nervous as hell- or atleast something close to it, but ‘Alah'ni’ didn't act it with body language or even sound stressed.. was he as dense as ever? Kalon thought. Only to have it broken as the other death knight spoke; “I am here for the head of our maker, and your master. For Sylvanas, for the Warchief, and for my revenge." He pointed at Kalon, “Tell your master I am not the only one on this quest of bloody vengange.”

Without waiting for a responce, the Death Knight turned, disappearing as quickly as he had appeared. If Kalon was younger he would have rolled his eyes- empty threats from discarded toys...

He was still angered at his missed out chance, but he would have others. He had time. He had all the time in the world, nearly.

The frostwyrm that appeared in the sky, spooked the kodo and with a low bellow it ran off, after its master. Kalon paid it no heed as he turned and headed over to the undead dragon that hissed and fidgeted, wanting to be back in the air. Not even bothering to pat it to soothe the undead dragonkin, as it was just a beast of burden to him, he pulled himself into the saddle at the base of the frost bitten neck of bone.

Without any effort involved, the dragon lunged up into the air, fleshless wings catching and holding air somehow as the dead dragon powered through the air as easily as if it was still alive.

Kalon's frustration continued to fade away, as he told himself once more that he had time- and besides, there was a party about to happen, and he couldn't miss being there...

- - - -

Darkness.

Pain.

Cold.

‘Am I dead?’ Ryai found herself thinking as she laid there, unable to move or open her eyes. Or was she moving, and her eyes open? It was hard to tell outside of the three factors that made themselves ever present in her mind and being. Had she been sent to hell? But it was supposed to be hot, wasn't it? The Tauren was confused about the after life for good and evil, for most other relegions, but she knew enough.

Because this sure wasn't where she should have ended up, by all rights... had she been eaten by the lich kings sword after plummeting? But no, that would mean she would be gone forever, wouldn't it?

So .. what..

Warmth. It broke through the chill and pain and darkness like a beacon. Thoughts falling to hidden ground, Ryai tried to turn, to look at it. Weakly she attempted to reach out without thinking. The warmth was better than this, better than where she was. She wanted it.. needed it.. to be what she hoped it to be. Salvation.

Awake, child,

And Ryai awoke.

It wasn't pleasent, pain attacked her again and she gasped and coughed, convulsing as it felt like she was being burned and frozen at the same time as she gasped for air, it felt like she couldn't breath, but something wouldn't release her, something kept hold of her as her vision swam, it helped fight back the chance to slip once more into that forboding darkness.. and as quickly as it came, it passed. Ryai laid there, spent, sore, hurting, but very much alive.

“You are lucky,” came a worried, almost motherly voice as a hand carefully swept down the side of her face, Ryai tried to focus her vision on the form but she could barely see, “Any later had your friend found you, you would have frozen to death entirely.” Ryai tried to say something, but was shushed, “Your pet and your friend are fine, sleep. Recover. You have no need to prove yourself anymore, rest easy, young Tauren.”

Still the huntress struggled to stay away a moment longer, before gradually she allowed herself to slip back into the darkness- though it wasn't as cold or chilling anymore. “Mother?” she whispered before slumber finally claimed her. Unknowing of the sad look or smile as what saved her just silently ran a hand over her cheek once more before leaving her to recover.

“This is the way we train the ‘karp, train the ‘karp, this is the way we train the ‘Karp as it knows nothing,” Angel muttered to herself as she held the large light orange and grey finned pokemon at the base of the tail and swung the hapless fish. A yelp of pain escaped into the air, but it wasn't from the Magikarp that just blinked it's blank eyes, letting out a monotone ‘Magi?’ as a Geodude tumbled across the graveled surface of the cave floor and only came a stop when it rolled into a pile of sand a ways off from Angel.

Snorting, Angel let her left hand fall away from helping hold the Magikarp like a bat and rested it against her hip. “Pathetic. Even without a water attack, this thing still is better than half the pokemon here.” Grumbled the auburn haired, grey eyed teenager as she glared about the cavern.

“Char. Charmeleon char.” Hades said from Angels’ side.

Glancing down at the blood red pokemon, Angel sighed, “No Hades, we are not going catch one of these weaklings. You do not have to worry about having a pathetic partner.”

“Meleo mel char.”

Angel growled and glared at Hades before focusing her attention on Caim and finally held him the right way, and not like a blunt object to bludgeon things to death with. “Caim is not weak. He's defeated a trainer, several Geodudes and some Zubats. Does this look like something weak?” Angel almost cooed out, and scratched Caim on the head.

“Magikarp, Magikarp. Karp magikarp.” Was all she recived and Hades snickered and said something equivalent to ‘No but he is stupid’, only the remark got Hades a crack upside the head, but he was used to the pops by now, they weren't painfull, and it showed his trainer wasn't weak or afraid of his kind like the other trainers were.

Muttering to herself about mostly non important things, Angel brushed a reddish-brown strand of hair out of her eyes while tapping a shoe protected foot lightly against the cave floor. With her free hand Angel pulled the map out of a pocket, and snapped it open. “Lets see...” Angel grumbled as she skimmed over it. “If we continue this way... go down next the tunnel we come across, and take it all the way to the end.. we'll be out of here by nightfall. Or daybreak. Whichever is about to happen in a few hours.”

“Char.”

“Oh stop complaining. The longer we're here, the more you get to stay out.” Angel snapped out at the dry remark from the Charmeleon, as she stuffed the map back into her pocket with out a hint of grace or care about the whole process.

After placing the map back into her pocket, and made sure the lump of paper was going to stay, or rather more of a scroll, but it was the same thing to Angel, she started walking forwards, Hades by her side. Both (Magikarp really aren't smart enough usually to be included most of the time in a ‘group’) ignored the chittering of Zubat's as the bat pokemon wisely avoided the light. They might not be able to see it, but the warmth was enough to warn them away.

Lost in their own thoughts, they continued on, and it seemed they'd have an uneventfull trip through the rest of the moutain.

But then again, things don't always go as planned.

“Arg! Halt! I can't let you pass!” A masculine voice yelled out from the darkness, before the patter of footsteps against stone filled the air. Angel quirked an eyebrow and paused, turning a bit to the left, the way the sound was, and the yell had come from. For a moment, nothing came out of the darkness.

Then a red booted foot appeared in the ringlet of light cast by Charmeleon's tail, followed by another booted foot, and Angel raised her gaze a bit. And then a bit more, and whistled slightly, he might look a bit dorky in the get up the man was in, red shorts, a black under shirt and a red jacket, and it seemed a red/black hat over his head with one of the old symbols for Earth on it. But Angel admited he was a looker.

She just got the feeling that beneath those baby blues and blonde hair, he was going to bring a surprise she didn't want. Especially with that shout he had seemingly done.

“I can't let you pass, Team Magma have already taken over Mt Moon, and it'd be best to turn back, before you're forced!”

Angel hated when those feelings were right, and sighed lightly before regaining her composure. “This isn't owned property, and it's a bit early for halloween, isn't it? Why don't you and your friends go play dress up somewhere else.” Angel snapped out with a toss of her hand, motioning for him to leave her presence now.

Evidently this man in a get up she would normally have laughed at, didn't understand the simple motion or her words. As Angel basically dismissed him as an annoyance and not a threat, by turning around and heading for the tunnel again, the ‘Magma Grunt’ grabbed a pokeball and with a flick of his wrist to send it forward, released a medium sized, black and grey furred pokemon to the world.

The wolf like pokemon was around three and a half feet high at the head, and around a foot longer with the bristle like coal colored tail swishing back and forth slightly, as if the owner was joyed to be let loose upon the world. Twin dusky grey ears pricked up while the blood red eyes narrowed as a light growl started to rumble the pokemon's chest.

Thick, coarse black fur sprang up fron the back of the pokemon's neck, all the way down it's back to the base of the tail, and hung over it's sides almost like a fur coat some human would wear, and unlike the grey fur covering most of the rest of it's body, this fur gave it protection from attacks to it's back and neck. The three clawed paws were socked in black fur, like it's back, and the grey chest continued to vibrate slightly as the rumbled growl from the Mightyena got louder.

Angel blinked as Hades suddenly snorted, and let out a loud bark of ‘Meleon!’, whirling around so fast his tail flame sputtered for a few seconds then flared back to life once more, almost burning the shadows away from himself and Angel that had tried to overcome them when his tailflame had dimmed. “Charmeleon!” He yelled again, and Angel looked over her shoulder, wondering what had gotten into Hades, only to see she'd looked just in time to see a large grey and black form slam into Hades, sending him flying backwards with a pained cry.

“Hades!” Exclaimed Angel as she started to move towards the fallen, and seemingly knocked out fire type, to check Hades and make sure he was alright. But the trainer was blocked from doing this by the ‘Magma Grunt’ releasing his second pokemon, a Zubat, into the air before Angel.

The auburn haired teen let out a slight shriek from startlement and flailed with her Magikarp, scoring a direct hit upon the bat, as it had not been expecting that, and it happened so fast it's ecolocation abilities hadn't picked up the movement.

The Zubat let out a sharp pitched cry as the orange fish pokemon thunked into it's body soundly. The Magikarp let out a confused ‘Magi?’ at the sudden motion, but it was already too late for the Zubat. The cerulean skinned creature went tumbling through the air much as its wild counter parts had, and slammed harshly into a stone wall a few feet from where Angel's own pokemon had landed in a heap.

The bat pokemon hung almost cartoon-like against the wall before slowly peeling away and dropped like a stone to the floor in a twitching, knocked out lump of pokemon.

Angel's eyebrow twitched ever so slightly, showing off the first hint of agression she was feeling as the teenager slowly turned to her left, where the wolf pokemon that had assaulted her Charmeleon stood. The Mightyena looked at its fallen partner, then back up at this human, and its tail tucked between its rear legs.

But Angel did not care about that as she ducked her head slightly, reddish brown bangs casting her eyes under shadow and the Mightyena took a step back as if the dark type was suddenly afraid of this human.

The wolf pokemons' ears went flat against his skull and he started to whine, and Mandy the still nameless grunt to Angel, had finally caught on to something being wrong here. “What did you do to my Zubat... and why are you holding that Magikarp like a bludgeon?”

Angel didn't reply to the idiot, as she now dubbed him. Just shifted her stance, raised the fish, and with an almighty yell of rage; swung the orange fish and caught the Mightyena upside the head! The wolf pokemon yelped like a kicked puppy as he was nearly sent airborn from the hit, and never saw the Magikarp be shifted and land another ‘Tackle’ to the underside of his jaw, sending the dark type head over heels nearly and onto the floor.

The Mightyena whimpered loudly in pain and did not move from where he'd fallen, knowing he was beaten by this mad, insane trainer that held a Magikarp in such a way.

Are examples. Examples of description, some pacing [example 2 is a bit better than 1 as I admit i messed up there], interaction, description, emotion, setting up the scene. SHOWING US THE WORLD.

Because frankly, what you're doing is Poor Mans Script and it ain't a good thing to do. You're stacking lines into false paragraphs, and most of it is just dialogue with nothing in between. not even a hint of who or what is speaking.

Go read some books. Go read Advice for Aspiring Authors. Go read some stories here. And take your time.
 
Top