Yuugis Black Magician
Namaikina Imouto
Pocket Wars: New Hampshire Arc
Based on Pocket Monster by Tajiri Satoshi
Written by JulieYBM
Notes:
•Pocket Wars is set in a continuity that merges various different official Pokemon continuities together, as well as outside influence and ideas.
•Akane Redwood is my take on the character Red. In Pocket Wars trainers get their licenses at the age of fifteen. Akane is now twenty-two and had her license for about seven years.
•Junko Redwood is Akane’s wife. She’s based on the Blue character from official continuities. She retired when she and Akane got married. She, her Pokemon and Akane’s Pokemon take care of the Redwood family farm in Masara Town while raising their son.
•New Hampshire: in Pocket Wars the geography is similar to our world. As such, the State of New Hampshire exists and is the setting of this one-shot.
•I started writing this story on whim on 25 December 2019. You will notice it is written by the seat of one’s pants which is because I really did not plan the story out at all. ♥
•I normally just plan my stories without ever writing them. This time, however, I did the reverse!!
•The name ‘Ross Parrot’ comes from the US politician Ross Perot but the character of this character actually comes from a certain Democratic primary candidate from this 2020 race.
•In this world, Pokemon do not ‘forget’ moves nor are they restricted to only four moves. I found this more fun to write! ♥
Content & Trigger Warnings: This story contains salty language and sexism. There is also a graphic depiction of sexuality at the end. Additionally, some Pokemon experience devastating injuries as part of the sport of Pokemon battling.
***
Whether the lights were searing or whether they were merely uncomfortably warm, Ross Parrot did not know nor did he care. The new fibers used to craft his grey, flat textured suit absorbed sweat and kept the body cool unlike anything he had previous worn. Even the compounding of the summer heat held no real affect: Mister Parrot was simply happy as can be. Coming off of defending his title as the State Super Champion of the State of New Hampshire, Parrot was ecstatic. The thirty-four year old Parrot had now completed five title defenses in three years after grueling training to become the mightiest Pokemon trainer in his home state. Thirty-four was often seen as ‘old’ to be a ‘State Super Champion’ and coming up on his twentieth anniversary as a licensed Pokemon trainer was something Parrot found very embarrassing.
It was a small, crowded room where the press conference was being held. Despite being a press conference to celebrate the continuation of the reign of a State Super Champion the State of New Hampshire had little room or interest in providing a large space for the New Hampshire Pokemon League headquarters. Even the main tournament stadium was rather rinky-dink. New Hampshire was simply one of those rare states in the Union where Pokemon battling was not very popular or competitive. The bourgeoisie of the small state were simply not interested.
Parrot stood up to the podium when called, his tall, lanky body towering over it. Ignoring his habit of rubbing his right hand through his black hair to keep it off of his face, Parrot firmly grasped the podium and spoke into the microphone.
“I would like to thank you all for assembling today,” the parrot of a man named Parrot parroted. Years of experience as a trainer had gotten him use to being in front of crowds. While the only state title he had ever held was that of New Hampshire Super Champion the man named Parrot had learned to parrot the pleasantries of other ranking trainers. “First, I would like to extend a thank you to Skip—Skip Beaumont, my opponent in the final round—hell of a match, Skip!” He was bullshitting. Sure, Skip had nearly won since both trainers had been driven down to their sixth Pokemon, but the fight was more frustrating for Parrot than he would ever admit in public. Parrot’s ****-eating grin could be picked out from a mile away by anyone that knew him more personally, like his decade-long rival.
There was the expected round of applause for Skip, who meekly stood from his seat behind the podium to wave and mouth his thanks. Middle age was treating skip like a real *****, a nuclear wasteland of a hairline and a discernible limp from an old training accident with one of his Nageki.
“Secondly, as one might expect, I’m happy to announce that I will indeed to competing in this December’s US Nation League Tournament. I know there has been a lot of speculation as to why I haven’t participated despite qualifying when I first took the New Hampshire Super Championship, but—” a high-pitched voice shot from the crowd of reporters, breaking Parrot’s line of thought.
“Because you thought you’d get creamed in your first match?!” A hundred heads all seemed to turn towards the source of the wise-crack. A young woman in her pajamas slumping into her chair appeared to be the source.
Parrot cleared his voice; stifling his utter rage at being called out, “Uh—well, you see, I simply felt that it was best for my train—” another wise-crack rang out, this time making Parrot wonder if he was hearing an accent or not.
“To not get your ass kicked?” The woman fiddled with her purse, procuring a mirror, and checked her face for dirt.
Swallowing a Saihorn down his throat, Parrot asked, “May I ask whom this is?”
With devilish glee, the woman stood up and hopped onto her folding hair, her pink purse swinging up and down and all about on by her size. “Yo, it’s me!” there was a playful cuteness to how the black-and-brown-haired woman moved, childish cockiness and bravado sweeping the room of press and League officials off their sweet.
The podium could have sworn upon sight of his heckler that Parrot somehow gripped the wooden object even harder. His voice shaky, Parrot asked “And why, miss, can I ask that you have come to this press conference?” As if smiling at his own joke before even cracking it, Parrot added “Clearly from your choice of clothes you’re not here because you just participated in our state’s fair tournament.” A few voices in the room chuckled.
“Oh yeah, like, duh. I just flew in from Japan last night!”
There was an audible ‘heart emoji’ to the woman’s voice, irritating Parrot even more, “Oh, so you’re from Japan. I didn’t realize I had such cute fans over there!” The infuriated Parrot kept his cool, determined to take back ownership of his own press conference and humiliate the woman.
Making a comically disgusted face, the half-Japanese woman cried in an over-the-top manner, “What? Eww, no, ki-mo-chi-wa-ru-i! MAI WAIFU would divorce me if she thought I liked such a weak trainer!”
Color drained from Parrot’s face. Subconsciously attempting to draw attention away from his cold, yet furious face, Parrot loosened his tie and chuckled as if he found the joke amusing. He didn’t. “Oh, goodness! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were old enough to marry, I—”
“Nani?! You lolicon! Pervert!!” the woman flailed away, her mockery of the New Hampshire Super Champion with her fake bad accent drawing laughter from the room.
A torrent of fire raced up Parrot’s spine, borne of his stomach, and positively exploded out from the Caucasian man’s mouth in the form of a shriek, “What the **** did you say, you little whore?!” Parrot had to be restrained as he reached for a Hyper Ball from his suit pocket. A string of hereto inaudible slurs and curses spun with no particular rhythm from the cis man’s mouth.
The woman sheepishly put-upon a face of embarrassment, “Whoops! Joking, joking!”
“Alright, you little *****! Let’s take this outside that is if you have any Pokemon?!” League officials shook their heads in embarrassment.
Triumphant in successfully setting up her tee, the Japanese woman countered, “Sure, if you put up your title!”
Ross Parrot shrieked in response, punched his handlers in the nose to break free of their restraining, and roared. Parrot’s rage was unrestrained now, he couldn’t help himself, and he had definitely ruined his reputation. The endorsements weren’t going to survive this press conference that was for sure. If most of his best Pokemon weren’t still in the recovery room at the Pokemon Center he would have settled the issue on the spot. “Two days, you little *****. Four PM!! But why the **** should I risk my title? I’m not due to accept a challenge for another six months!”
“Poogle me. My name’s Akane Redwood,” the woman’s smug demeanor softly rested into a sort of…regal confidence. Her cheekiness drained from her face and now she bore the look of…
The entire room furiously hit their laptops and smart phones, name searching the woman. Finally, it became clear.
“Well, who the **** is she, Michael?”
Parrot’s handler, Michael, began to lose color in his face as he read aloud the top headline, “New Mother Akane Redwood Becomes Japan’s First Transgender Nation Champion…”
Suddenly, it all made sense to Parrot. First a twitch sprung to his face, followed by a deep breath from his lungs. Finally, Parrot’s shoulders sunk in relaxation. All eyes were on him now. How could he announce that he was going to try to become the US Nation Champion if he couldn’t take the Japanese Nation Champion’s title? “Deal.”
The room of reporters exploded.
“New Hampshire Super Champion Ross Parrot versus Japanese National Champion Akane Redwood: six-versus-six. Both participants may switch their Pokemon as they wish. No time-limit. Begin!” The rather handsome referee—who defied logic by actually looking good in a striped polo—swung down his flag sticks with grace that amused Akane. Akane bore a grin, thinking about how Junko—watching the live stream of the battle back home during the early morning h ours—was probably laughing at how the referee moved.
Having won the coin toss, Parrot launched a Super Ball onto the field. From the blue and white colored sphere exploded a red torrent of energy that swiftly reformed into a war-dancing Gamageroge. Rain began to fall, surprising nobody.
Akane reached in the pink purse that her body language suggested she cherished greatly. Procuring a Monster Ball with a leaf symbol decal on it, Akane enlarged the ball and tossed it onto the field. If Gamageroge stormed out of his Super Ball then the Jukain that came from her Monster Ball did so swiftly and curtly.
Ross Parrot cursed under his breath and thrust forward his thumb, “Gama, Ice Punch!” The hulking toad began lumbered forward and once in striking range launched a series of punches fueled by ice-type elementary energy.
Jukain carefully studied her opponent’s moves, remaining weary enough to even side-step a blast of Toxic energy. The patience of the two women facing them began to gnaw at Parrot and after a solid three minutes of his Ice Punches missing the mark the New Hampshire Super Champion broke pace, “Gama, back off and use Hyper Voice!” That was his fatal flaw.
With her foe unable to break away from an assault without dropping their defenses Jukain and Akane—as if their minds in perfect sync—spotted their opening and tore it right open. A Leaf Blade, unsheathed at blinding speed, tore through Gamageroge’s belly and chin like a hot knife through butter. Gamageroge shrieked a horrific cry no writer that day could put into words. Even the parents covering their children’s’ eyes and ears wished they could forget the hellish sound. A follow-up Dragon Claw from Jukain sent the wailing, defenseless Gamageroge into the force-field protecting the spectator stands and into slumber. A shaken Parrot retrieved his toad Pokemon with little fanfare. This Akane woman was no slouch. “Chevargo, come on out!”
Akane watched as a medical official took the Super Ball that housed Gamageroge off to be tended to. It was never fun needing to see a Pokemon require immediate attention after a battle but she had become somewhat numb to it over the years. Jukain shot back at her trainer an expression that said “Whoops…” leaving Akane only able to roll her eyes. “Wanna fight this guy? A bug and steel-type might be a pain in the ass for you, Jukain-nee.” The elder sister to Akane’s Hou’en team merely clicked her tongue in response. “Be my guest, girlfriend.”
Whether it was Fury Cutter or Fell Stinger, Jukain nimbly avoided her quick foe’s strikes. A Super Champion’s bug-type Pokemon was no laughing matter for a grass-type such as herself, after all. Leaping over her armored foe, Jukain turned around to slam a Brick Break into the bug-type. Unfortunately for Jukain, Chevargo was one step ahead and already had a lance-arm pointed at her throat. It was not, however, her throat that Jukain finally felt pain, however. Before she could react, Chevargo used his left lance-arm to stab the Jukain in the gut. To make matters worse, Jukain could tell that the bug-type had coated his lance in Toxic. She was now severely poisoned, meaning a battle of attrition—where she thrived—was not going to cut it anymore.
Akane was beginning to sweat now and held up her bracelet, “Jukain, wanna?”
Jukain shot at glance at her master, grimaced, and decided “No! I’ll be damned if I need to use Mega Evolution to beat this guy!” The grass-type immediately created some distance by using Double Team to create several illusionary copies of herself. As if aware of each other’s positions, both Pokemon began performing Swords Dance so as to raise their power to the maximum. They wanted to end things like the swordsmen they were.
‘Pride is pride, I suppose,’ Akane thought to herself.
With their physical attack power now maximized both Pokemon launched into a full power flurry of blades. Jukain knew she had no time to even maximize her speed, the power of the poison coursing through her veins were quickly drawing her to unconsciousness. Her and Akane’s tried-and-true technique for situations like this was all she needed: a mix of Leaf Blades to trap their foes into a rhythm and then break it with Brick Break to deal the winning blow. Unfortunately, Chevargo had apparently learned to maximize his own defenses through using Iron Defense while attacking. ‘Hell of a champion, after all!’ Finally, Jukain’s focus broke and she took a X-Scissor she normally would not straight to her chest.
“Jukain!” rarely did strikes break Akane’s veneer of cool and lead her to show audible worry for her Pokemon. Seven years of being a Pokemon trainer had given Akane a sense of cool but every so often she was reminded—in the smallest of ways—that they, too, bled.
‘Should’ve taken the Mega!’ Jukain cursed herself in retrospect as she struggled to pick herself up off of her ass.
“Finish her, X-Scissor!!” Parrot was not going to give up causing as much direct pain as he could. At this point all he needed to do was give Chevargo the order to keep his distance and let Toxic do the rest of the work, Parrot was—however—a misogynist and an asshole.
Chevargo stormed forward with his lances and channeled Bug-type elementary energy into his dual lances. ‘An honorable defeat for an honorable foe, Lady Jukain!!’
With her foe ramming forward, Jukain realized that she would in no way be able to dodge, ‘Unless…’ Abandoning her futile attempt to stand, Jukain let herself fall flat on her back, just in the nick of time to avoid Chevargo’s slashes.
‘Oh, sh—” Chevargo’s eyes burst out of his sockets as he realized what was coming.
Mouth wide as can be, Jukain fired a furious Dragon Breath at Chevargo’s exposes underside and sent him flying. Struggling to take advantage of her new found distance from Chevargo, Jukain fired a Sunny Day into the sky. The soccer ball-esque ball of fire flew into the sky and seemed to explode in a flash, pushing away the rain clouds and replacing them with a furious ball of fire.
‘Heal, heal, heal!!’ Akane prayed to herself. The Sunny Day would make Synthesis stronger, if only slightly off-setting the effects of Toxic.
Parrot wasn’t having any of it, though, “Use the gravity of your fall to increase your speed and slam into that ***** with a Giga Impact!!”
“Oh, ****,” was as audible an expression as Jukain could muster at that point. Body bathing in sunrays as she lay defenselessly on the ground, the grass-type Pokemon timed her response. ‘Can I outlast the Toxic or…?’ The green and silver blur of a bomb diving at high-speeds toward her left with few options. There was really only one gamble she had left. Mere seconds felt like eternity for her. In some ways, it was eternity!
“Fall!!” Chevargo roared as he finally made landfall.
The entire field was covered in a smoke cloud as the explosive energy generated by the bug-type Pokemon’s crash warped the entire field.
Parrot was positively smug, “Got you this time, little girl!”
“Cool, Oji-san!” Akane mocked from her side of the dust cloud.
Parrot scoffed, “Willing to lose a Pokemon, are we? How cruel of you!”
Members of the crowd could swear that they could audibly hear Akane roll her eyes as she replied, “Not really!”
Finally, the dust settled and revealed the truth of the matter: Chevargo had crashed horrifically painfully and Jukain—while heavy of breath—stood.
Fury traveled north from Parrot’s stomach, threatening to burn the trail behind it, as it tore open his lips and rang out, “HOW?!”
Smug, Akane pointed to her big green friend.
Jukain had wrapped herself in psychic-type energy protruding from her brain. The power of this psychic-type energy had given her body the much needed boost in speed it needed.
“A-Agility!” Parrot was flabbergasted. Jukain had managed to switch from Synthesis to Agility fast enough to not only dodge but counterattack with a firmly placed Brick Break to Chevargo’s once again unguarded underside to further speed up his crash into the ground.
“Chevargo is unable to battle,” spoketh the referee. Another of Parrot’s Pokemon was immediately taken to be healed, only this time with Jukain asking to tag along. The count was now 2-1 in favor of the challenger.
Parrot struggled to see anything but red, a red so red any red in a box of crayons grew redder in embarrassment. From the moment this woman had crashed his triumphant press conference she had been unceasingly a thorn in his side. That would change here and now; it was time to destroy! Drawing another Hyper Ball from his belt, Parrot unleashed his third Pokemon: Tropius!
Akane took her time to dust off her black one-piece and red leather jacket, “Jeez, Junko gave me this dress…” the simple farm girl from Masara Town didn’t even want to begin to think about what damage had been done to her hair by the dust storm.
“Hurry up and choose your next Pokemon!” scowled Parrot.
Shooting a glance to the referee, Akane confirmed that even he was getting a little annoyed, “Gotcha, no problem!”A burst of red energy shot out of Akane’s pink purse and landed in front of her with a thud. “Oh, you wanna battle that bad, Lizardon?”
“I wanted to crush this guy’s whole team by myself, Akane-chan!” whined the rather cutesy-voiced fire-type, standing just under his trainer’s five-foot-eight-inch height.
Akane giggled in response to her first Pokemon’s bratty tone, “You’re our ace, Lizadon! You can’t just fight all the time!” Frankly, Akane just wanted to tease her closest friend. ‘It’s kind of perverted to think so, but I do wish I had decided to crush this guy from the moment go…’
“Continue!” Once again, Akane giggled at the thought of what funny comment her wife would make about the graceful movements of the dorky-if-handsome-looking referee.
“Lizardon, have fun with the Sunny Day Jukain-nee left you and set the field ablaze with Flamethrower!” The boulders of the shattered field essentially became molten lava rock seconds after being embraced by the stream of golden fire that spewed out of Lizardon’s snout.
Tropius took to the sky to avoid the heat but Parrot knew they were ****ed against such a mighty Lizardon. “Tropius, return!” a red beam of energy took Tropius back to his Hyper Ball and left Lizardon all by his lonesome. ‘This is just ridiculous!’ Parrot scowled as he desperate thought of which of his Pokemon to select next, ‘How am I supposed to battle a Lizardon that’s known to have defeated a number of legendary Pokemon?! It’ll take my whole team just to tire him out a little!’
Finally, Parrot brought forth the electric-type Shibirudon and the match continued. Lizardon—no stranger to electric-types—carefully watched the eel Pokemon for electric attacks that would paralyze him. As a surprise to absolutely nobody, Shibirudon opened the battle with a Thunder Wave. A wave of energy spread over the field only for the high-flying Lizardon to avoid due to his height advantage. Responding in kind, Lizardon poured another Flamethrower straight down on his foe below.
Parrot snickered in response as the fires of his own belly distracted Lizardon from the storm building behind him. Catching the darkening cloud behind Lizardon, Akane gasped. “Lizardon, behi—” it was too late; a full power blast of Thunder struck down and hit Lizardon right in the spine. A nasty thud followed a shriek from the fire and flying-type Pokemon. Any time Lizardon showed signs of standing Shibirudon simply poured another Thunder attack on the flying-type. Ground-type moves were useless against a Pokemon with the Levitate ability and Lizardon was quickly running out of idea.
“Bah, to hell with this!” holding up her left arm, Akane poured a piece of her spirit into the bracelet around her left wrist. “Lizardon, Mega Evolve!” Energy shot out from the crystal on Akane’s bracelet and connected with Lizardon. The energies of the two beings poured and mixed, bathing Lizardon in a white light that led into a fire of colors both black and blue. Finally, bursting free of those fires was Mega Lizardon X, a fire and dragon-type Pokemon known for its brutal physical power.
Parrot could feel his lungs empty as if on instinct alone. This was the Pokemon that had gone toe-to-toe with the world renowned Wataru’s Kairyuu, utterly destroying Japan’s biggest stadium. Seeing him in person did wonders at quashing the New Hampshire man’s ego. “Shibirudon, Dragon Claw at his neck!”
‘A wise move, on paper,’ Akane admitted to herself.
Foreseeing his opponents movement and timing, Mega Lizardon X merely caught Shibirudon’s tail mid-swing and motioned to slam him into the ground.
Taking whatever opening he could, Shibirudon hacked up a ball of purple, goopy energy straight down upon Mega Lizardon X, “Take that, bastard!”
With surprising nimbleness, Lizardon dropped his prey and backed off to the side quick enough to avoid the Toxic. Unfortunately for the fire-type, this just made Shibirudon’s follow-up all the easier to launch. An unprecedented stream of electric energy crashed into the dragon at close range, sending him straight into the protective shielding so hard that the field momentarily failed. Waking from a nightmare in a cold sweat was not particularly different from that moment. Children in the stands would remember it with vivid detail for the rest of their lives.
“Finish him while he’s paralyzed!” Shibirudo did not need to be told twice and quickly dashed forward to finish Lizardon with a Dragon Claw right to his neck.
Roaring in unrelenting pride, Lizardon broke free of his paralysis just long enough to counter with his own Dragon Claw, a deep-cutting slash of his Tough Claws-powered and same-type attack boosted claws. The deluge of blood left children traumatized and Shibirudon flattened like a pancake in the field at Mega Lizardon X’s feet.
“Shibirudon is unable to battle!”
Blood poured from Parrot’s lip as he bit deeply into it. “I’ll kill her,” the Super Champion scowled as he unleashed his Kuitaran. “Hone Claws!”
With Kuitaran clearly maximizing his power for a sort of physical strike, Lizardon decided to take the opportunity to calm his mind. As he and Akane had learned over their seven years together, the key to moving while suffering from paralysis was a calm, well-trained mind.
“Now, Stockpile!”
Akane already what Parrot had in mind: either use Swallow to restore Kuitaran’s health or Spit Up to cause major damage to their foe. Luckily, Lizardon was no fool and all she had to do was watch.
Waiting for his foe to make the first move, Lizardon stood in complete silence, seeming not even to breathe. Finally, Kuitaran dashed forward and spat up his stockpiled energy. Unfortunately for him, Lizardon was still faster than Parrot expected and sliced right through the blast with Dragon Claw.
“Oh, ****!” it was too late, Lizardon had slice into Kuitaran’s chest so quickly that the fire-type mole had passed out on mere contact. Connecting with the spectator force-field had merely shocked the mole back awake.
“Kuitaran is unable to battle!”
Back on the ranch in Masara Town, Junko Redwood giggled at the goofy movements the referee made as he signaled that Kuitaran was no longer able to battle. The massive television screen bathed the pajama-clad mom-bod in various shifting lights and every time Junko peeled her eyes away to check for the sunrise it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Her son, Jonathan IV, was being an uncharacteristically good boy and sleeping through the night, allowing Junko to watch her battle somewhat seriously for the first time in a year.
‘I really did miss seeing you like this, Akane-chan…’ memories of Akane staying at home in Masara Town to help raise Joyo flooded Junko’s mind. As a former traveling Pokemon trainer herself she knew how hard it was on the mind and body to take too long a break from facing high-level foes but aside from her two League-mandated title defenses in the last nine months Akane had stayed at home and enjoyed the trials and tribulations of raising a baby with her. The sight of her wife once more pouring her all into a battle left her positively warm on the inside. Wendy—Junko’s Windie sitting at the base of the couch—left her warm on the outside.
Cameron-kun, a custom crafted apron draped around him, brought his mistress a plate of delicacies, making her wonder why it is he was cooking so early in the morning. “Oi, it’s four in the morning, Cameron-kun!” The Kamex frowned until Junko agreed to fill her pooch with his admittedly delicious delicacies.
Finally, Joyo began to cry—likely out of hunger—and the gaudy Kamex rushed up the stairs to take care of his ward. The entire house seemed to creak under the weight of the Kamex’s run! “Hey, hey, hey,” the swollen breasted mother intoned as she followed her big blue friend up the stairs, jovially shaking her bra-less chest, “I’m the one who feeds the baby!”
“Tropius, Air Slash his gut open!”
Before Lizardon could even thank Kuitaran for his time he found blades of gust cutting right into his skin. “Sh-****!!” Tropius had returned to the battlefield and was now determined to weaken him as much as he could for Parrot’s final Pokemon.
“Sacrificing Tropius, huh?” deadpanned Akane, “Well, I guess we’ve done the same before, too, but I hope you at least asked Tropius if he was okay with this…”
Following Tropius’ movements in the air, Lizardon waited for his moment. Several Sunny Day-backed Solar Beams crashed into the low-flying Mega Lizardon X from high above with the thudding force of a car crashing at 80MPH but the dragon maintained his cool, awaiting his opening. Finally, Tropius’ stamina faultered and in that split second, a black blur with streaks of blue flame tailing behind it sliced right through the flying and grass-type.
Parrot was stunned, “Tsubame Gaeshi? But how did he ascend so fast?”
“Parrot, return your Tropius, quick!!”
Parrot snapped from his trance at the woman’s voice and refocused his sight on his Tropius. The unconscious Pokemon was descending with astonishing—nay, frightful—speed. ‘****, he might die!’ Fumbling, Parrot dropped his Tropius’ Hyper Ball out of fatigue. “****!”
Lizardon descended with graceful form and speed, determined to save Tropius’ life. A slight turn just past and under Tropius’ descent path gave Lizardon all the space he needed to center himself under his falling fallen foe and cushion the impact.
Akane rushed to her friend’s side, the dust blowing onto her one-piece be damned, “Rikkun, are you okay?”
Silence.
Motionless.
One moment past.
Two moments past.
Medics rushed to the field urging the trainers to first let the two Pokemon receive a basic check-up. Lizardon had taken the brunt of the crash and likely took on some spinal damage, “Rikkun, honey, wake up!” Fear bore into Akane as she realized that such a fall could have done worse than spinal damage—it could have given Rikkun brain damage!
Finally, a moan, “Aah, why me?”
Never had Akane Redwood been so glad to hear the angelic voice of her dear friend. Akane had long ago learned to just let her Estradiol Tears go unperturbed, “ばか!”
“Bangiras, Mega Evolve!!” The mightiest Pokemon of the number one ranked Pokemon trainer in New Hampshire burst into a raging black and red aura. The stadium roared in applause as the now undefeated Bangiras took center stage. Chants of Bangiras’ name soared throughout the stadium. Parrot might have been an ass but his Bangiras was a people’s champion.
Akane recalled the research she’d done. In all of the two dozen officially uploaded battles she had seen with Bangiras he had never lost a single one. More often than not he didn’t even require Mega Evolution or a Z-Move to win. With Rikkun and Jukain-nee out of commission it was going to be an interesting match for Akane. ‘All I have left on me are Kingler, Zebraika, Berobelt and Skutank. Ugh, Goukazaru and Gekkouga are going to be so pissy that I didn’t bring them with me this time…’Finally, Akane settled on her winning strategy. “Kingler, Muddy Water!”
Bursting from his Super Ball, Kingler immediately set about muddying the Sandstorm-terraformed battlefield.
“I don’t care what strategy you think you’re going to pull off here, you’re done for!” Parrot shot two middle fingers up as Mega Bangiras simply unleashed a Thunderbolt at the slow-moving Kingler, only for the blast to be rebuffed by the water-type’s Protect.
“Alrighty Kingler, Scald!”
A burst of scalding hot water broke out of both of Kingler’s claws, only to be rebuked by Mega Bangiras’ impenetrable Sandstorm. Akane had feared this. Bangiras was known not simply for his power but it infamously impenetrable defense. As a national-level trainer herself, Akane recognized that Bangiras was definitely ready to play with the big boys, girls and enbies. “Rain Dance is useless here, too” Akane mumbled under her breath, “He’ll just keep using that powerful Sandstorm technique of his…damn it to hell…”
“Come to me, you little *****. I am the king here!” Parrot’s ego was re-inflating most detestably.
Fed up with his situation, Kingler shot Akane a look she understood instantly and began focusing his normal-type elemental energy. Akane, meanwhile, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘It’s been a while since any of us have done this…’ Suddenly, the small gold aura deep within Akane’s heart grew and grew until it consumed her full form. This caught the attention of the entire stadium, Parrot included. Soon, Kingler and Akane were both painted a solid gold as their shared a single aura connected by a rope of golden energy.
“What the hell is this?” Parrot wondered aloud.
‘Of course this dipshit wouldn’t know anything about this,’ Akane groaned to herself, “Kingler, Hakai-kousen!!”
Drawing forward his right claw while using his left to steady his right, Kingler aimed and then unleashed a beam of golden-colored energy so intense it managed to slice through Mega Bangiras’ ‘impenetrable defense’ and slam right into the unsuspecting rock and evil-type’s solar plexus, knocking the beast right onto his back.
“Crab Hammer!!”
Dashing forward with uncharacteristic speed, Kingler poured more of his shared strength with Akane into his claws before slamming them into his foe’s unguarded chest.
“Bangiras, fight back!!” panic was beginning to settle in Parrot voice once more, ‘How can this be? Is Bangiras really going to lose to a ****ing Kingler?!’
“Again!” Excitement threatened to torrentially tear straight from her toes up to her spine and shatter her voice but Akane kept herself in check and knew that there was always a chance **** could go south in a split-second.
Kingler pounded and pounded away, making sure that Mega Bangiras never recovered his breath. Unfortunately for Kingler, he didn’t realize just how much the Sandstorm was affecting his eyesight and hearing.
Silently, Bangiras raised his arm and struck Kingler from behind with a Thunder Punch.
Knocked aside several feet the water-type struggled to regain his bearings after the sneak attack but before he could fell prey to and unexpected Dark Pulse. Now, sent flying into the spectator force-field, Kingler bemoaned how uneventful his first official match in over a year was turning out to be.
A red flag rose—with the anticipated grace—signaling that Kingler was unable to battle.
“Berobelt, Supersonic!”
Mega Bangiras had need for little more than a scream to cancel out the effect of Berobelt’s ‘Supersonic’ technique. The sandstorm on its own was enough to muffle hearing-based techniques as it were but Bangiras took some pleasure in defiantly slapping back his foe’s strategies. The undefeated emperor demanded a bigger challenge.
Akane brushed her damp bangs out of her eye with a pout, “Ugh, Goukazaku and Gekkouga are watching this match on TV right now and shaking their heads, aren’t they?”
Back on the ranch, Junko breastfed Joyo and criticized Cameron-kun for stomping around the house like an idiot. Among the many Pokemon huddled around the television, a Goukazaru and a Gekkouga covered their eyes in embarrassment.
Using her massive, thick tongue to scoop up some sand, Berobelt lunged at Mega Bangiras, hoping to blind him with some sand. Unfortunately for her, the rock-type was merely spewed a Fire Blast from his mouth and sent the pink Pokemon flying backwards…and vaporizing?
“****, Double Team?!” the thickness of the sandstorm that Bangiras used as an impregnable fortress was now coming back to bite him in the ass. Berobelt was using the veil to mask her movements. Suddenly, a tongue sprung out from the abyss and wrapped around Bangiras’ feet, then tripped him over. He knew where this was going.
Springing out from the veil, Berobelt used her full weight to crash down on Bangiras as accurately as she could and aimed a Brick Break onto the Mega Pokemon’s solar plexus.
Using the opportunity, Bangiras solidified his mind and turned his body ever to slightly to avoid a direct hit on his solar plexus, took the heavy chop from his plump foe into his hardened hide and then held on tight, squeezing the normal-type until she screamed.
“Bero, Screech!”
‘Yes, which I’m up close!’ but if only she could fill her crushing lungs.
Mega Bangiras ripped and rolled so as to top Berobelt. Raising his leg, Bangiras slammed it downward only to find that his foe had rolled into the sandstorm.
‘The only way for us to hit that pink **** decisively is to drop the sandstorm…’Parrot’s tense posture began to wear on his back, he found. “Bangiras, drop the sandstorm momentarily!”
The expression painted upon Mega Bangiras’ face did not say that he was pleased with t he order. Nevertheless, he acquiesced and soon the gusts of sand were gone and all that remained was the sand-filled battlefield.
Berobelt, clearly, was nowhere to be seen.
Bangiras scowled at this. The normal-type Pokemon was now hiding under the sand, waiting to strike. A twitch spread across the rock and evil-type Pokemon’s face when he realized that using Earthquake would have no effect: the sand would merely absorb the impact. ‘Can I use Blizzard to freeze her out? Or…wait…yes…’ a smug grin spread across Bangiras’ face. Taking a deep breath, Mega Bangiras began to launch countless Fire Blasts into the sand, spreading the heat deeper and deeper into the dunes.
Confusion riddled Akane for a very unpleasant ten seconds. “What the…?” then, terror settled in as the young mother realized what was afoot. “Berobelt, get out of there!”
It was too late; Berobelt was being encased in sand that was quickly becoming glass. ‘Oh, dear…’ the fear borne of her heart was beginning to bore itself out and through her body as she realized not only did she have limited oxygen left, but she was becoming encased in glass and unable to move. Berobelt quickly reached out or Akane’s heart with her own, grasped it, and exploded in a golden aura: there was only move left to make. Reaching through the sand to the solid rock above her, Berobelt wrapped her massive tongue onto the very suspecting Mega Bangiras’ right left and pulled herself up to the surface with just enough speed to reduce the amount of damage done by crashing through sheets and shards of glass. Unfortunately for her, Mega Bangiras was ready and waiting with a Dark Pulse with her name on it.
Grasping the slimy, thick tongue of his plump foe tightly, Mega Bangiras threw his foe into the air. Without letting go, the hulking pea-green bastard fired a close-range Dark Pulse at full power.
Berobelt refused to give her foe the satisfaction of hearing her scream as she faded into unconsciousness.
A tall, lanky woman adorning a head full of golden hair and a pink two-piece bikini covered only with an artificially weathered jean jacket slipped into the announcer box unannounced. Drawing the attention of the three men staffing the box, the woman greeted them with due familiarity, pulled up a spare chair, plopped down upon it and asked the obvious question, “Where we at, boys?”
Pulling his mic away from his mouth, the lead announcer didn’t miss a beat, “Shithead’s down to Mega Bangiras, this Japanese gal’s got two unannounced Pokemon left.”
“No ****?” Clearly this was not what the Lantina was expecting, “I heard about this on the news the other day so I thought I’d stop by, but who the hell would have thought Shithead would be backed into a corner?”
Another commentator chimed in, turning off his mic, “She’s using some Pokemon that she normally doesn’t use in her major matches but she’s definitely keepin’ Parrot at bay. It’s a shame her ace, Lizardon, is already out.”
The room nodded their heads in general consensus before craning their necks to look out the window at the newly unveiled Skutank.
“Going to try to poison that bastard, huh?” the woman chimed in as she unsheathed two 120s, lit them and stuck them in her mouth, “Too bad that ain’t gonna work!”
The lead announcer sighed, plucked one of the 120s from the woman’s mouth and inhaled in kind, “Oof, yeah. I can’t remember the last time that big ****er got poisoned,” the brown-haired lead took another puff and offered one to his two cohorts, both of which gave him a “Are you kidding me?” look of exasperation.
“Who do you think is going to win, Ms. Lopez?” asked the youngest of the three announcers, obviously still star-struck by her presence.
“Well, Parrot’s Bangiras has never lost. Of course, that bastard picks and chooses his opponents so as to protect his pwecious wecord! Personally, I hope this chick in the one piece and the rad jacket wins so I don’t have to fight this creep for my title. Ugh!”
The returning sandstorms were met by the odious Smokescreen of the poison-type Skutank as it filled the air. The two consistencies of dirt and dust somehow mixed upon contacted and became something fouler and fouler yet.
Skutank’s array of poison-type moves flew through the sandstorm but never hit their mark. Bangiras, his defense impregnable, had never and would never, allow himself to be poisoned. A point of pride for the evil rock-type, he would not be forced into a battle on his foe’s terms.
Akane groaned in annoyance at her own carelessness. Skutank was a hell of a girl but she could become very…upset when her poison techniques failed her. “Skutank, Flamethrower in a circle!” Attack from all angles was the only choice left as the sandstorm grew fiercer. Sheets of glass dropped to the ground, some shattering and others not.
“Let’s end this quickly, Destruction Beam!!” The End Game was coming.
Doing her best to avoid Mega Bangiras’ ultimate attack, Skutank ran about the field to avoid the torrential beam of purple and black energy. Unfortunately, this meant tripping and over glass. Screeching in pain as she stepped on the shards, Skutank hit the sandy ground with a cushioned thud and was summarily consumed by the void.
“Skutank!” panic rode up Akane’s spine in a spiral before shrieking out of her mouth like a dying animal.
The referee raised his flag and Skutank was officially declared unable to battle.
Parrot’s glee washed over his body. Parrot watched his undefeated titan Bangiras bring the annoying girl that had mocked him to her last Pokemon with much anticipation. “Serves you right, you little *****!”
Mega Bangiras dug below the surface of the field and leapt out right at Zebraika’s underside and sent the electric-type flying. The blue, web-esque wires of electricity falling from the now airborne Zebraika signaled Thunder Wave, an attempt to paralyze him. Retreating back into the ground solves the issue easily.
“Gotcha!! Zebraika use Shockwave!”
With much grace, Zebraika landed on his hooves and began concentrating a way of energy straight down the hole his foe retreated into. Filling the series of tunnels with electric-type power, Bangiras was eventually forced out from the ground within Zebraika’s sight. Wasting no time, the zebra Pokemon made use of his Agility-boosted speed and slammed a Wild Charge into his foe.
Bangiras roared as his approaching foe and slammed into him using the full weight of his body. The two colliding forces blew one another back as their clashing forms seemingly churned and twisted like water colors mixing in fresh water.
A bolt of lightning struck out from Zebraika and his Bangiras before he could react. The blast was enough to make Bangiras shudder, but unfortunately the rock Pokemon would not be paralyzed. At his master’s command, Zebraika followed up with Double Kick, finally slamming a super effective attack into Bangiras’ ribcage.
Feeling blood rising up his throat, Bangiras rolled with the internal bleeding and spat the blood into his electric-type foe’s eyes. With Zebraika now blinded, Bangiras fired a close-range Destruction Beam, sending Zebraika flying.
Emotions running high, Akane remembered far worse pinches in her light and poured that into her fist. Punching forward, Akane yelled, “Full-power, baby!”
Zebraika and his trainer erupted into a golden aura. Already he could feel her exhaustion at having used this technique so much. HRT made it especially hard on her body but Akane’s decision to face as much strife as her teammates had been the unshakable string that bound her and her Pokemon. Maximizing his strength speed through Agility and his defense with Light Screen, Zebraika brought his full power to the forefront.
“Shockwave!!”
It came as no surprise to anyone in the nosebleeds when the surge of yellow energy blasted and knocked back Mega Bangiras.
“Dig!” the electric power, of course, followed Bangiras and chased him underground.
Patience was not always the speed-demon Pokemon’s strong point, but here he could feel Akane’s influence pulling him back, making her more aware and more powerful than usual. Finally, it happened. Leaping into the sky and locking on with Laser Focus, Zebraika struck the emerging Bangiras with a full-power Thunder that resulted in a mighty explosion upon contact. As trained by his master, Zebraika broke into a Double Kick as gravity began to beckon him back to the battlefield. Diving deep into the sour, bitter smokescreen that was the crater in which Bangiras now inhabited, Zebraika made a clean impacted and kicked his foe right out of the screen and onto the sand-cushioned ground.
Shakiness began to infiltrate Akane’s legs as she realized that she had now hit her limit. Zebraika would be on his own now. ‘Damn it, gotta pee now, too!’ Steadying her stance, Akane took a deep breath and yelled “Shockwave!!”
Baking soda filled a model mountain and soon boiled over in eruption. Parrot felt as if he could punch a thousand people in frustration as Mega Bangiras slipped back into his normal form after being bathed in the power of the Shockwave, barely conscious. “Goddamn it, Bangiras fight back!!”
A storm of pride raged fiercely in the rock and evil-type’s heart as he struggled back to his feet, “I won’t be dethroned here!” The pangs of hunger soon infiltrated Bangiras’ heart and he soon realized that he was hungry, despite it all. Firing off a Dark Pulse only to miss, Bangiras grunted and re-strengthened his impregnable defense.
Zebraika cursed under his breath as he realized that he had lost sight of his foe. ‘Just a few more hits!!’ Was impatience being reborn in the electric-type’s heart? Sadly so, the effects of Passion having been dropped after that devastating Thunder.
Spironolactone is a diuretic and thus causes the consumer of said medicine to require the consumption of spectacular amounts of water before then urinating. Despite the advances in medicine offering alternative manners for transition, Akane had decided to stick with the old way of Spironolactone for suppressing her testosterone. As a result, she would often begin to feel the need to urinate mid-battle. Now, her impatience was the one growing. “****! ****!” she mumbled under her breath as the two powerhouse Pokemon sniped at each other through the thick veil of sand, “I gotta pee so bad! Argh!!” A spring returned to Akane’s step and flinging forward a fist she cried, “Zebraika, destroy the field with a barrage of Thunder!!”
Zebraika—like Rikkun and all the others—had learned what this tone of voice meant from their dear friend: she had to pee, really bad. Summoning his remaining strength to the forefront the zebra dug into the rather soft ground and summoned massive bolts of electric-energy from the skies, utterly decimating the energy field.
Parrot was in pure, unbridled shock. Bangiras’ impregnable defense had literally been impregnated. Over the course of seven seconds the sandstorm quelled until it finally dispersed all together. Bangiras could no longer mentally maintain his undefeated defense.
It took all of his strength to maintain his standing. The rock titan’s throat was dried beyond what his own patience would withstand. His legs shook with the ferocity of a standing dough mixer. His foe didn’t look much for wear, but neither could move to strike one another. Now, it was a game of patience to see who could stand longest.
A fierce shriek escaped Akane’s mouth as she couldn’t stand it anymore, “私は排尿しなければなりません!!”
The journalists watching this battle live would later Poogle what Redwood-san shrieked, utterly disgusted by her open crudeness.
Feeling Akane’s anxious energy filling him, Zebraika’s legs began to work for him once again, “T-this is…” Leaping forward, Zebraika slammed into Bangiras’ ribcage until he fell into the much familiar position of being on his back. The Zebraika stomped his hooves into his fallen foe just for good measure before finding himself once again unable to move.
The referee raised his flag declaring Bangiras unable to battle.
Back on the ranch, the living room of the Redwood home was abuzz in celebration. Junko snuck into the kitchen, posed for a selfie and texted it to her lovely wife as a reward.
Akane bowed furiously quickly before running off the field without giving a comment to the television broadcaster. Reaching the lavatory, Akane practically threw herself onto the throne and finally found sweet relief. Checking her phone the black and brown haired women noticed a text from her wife and opened it. “Congrats, Akane-chan! Here’s something to remind you of what you get back home after conquering the other forty-nine states! ♥” Upon opening the attachment, Akane was greeted by the lewdest ahegao she had seen in over a year.
Looking down at her erect penis, Akane sighed, added the photo to a folder labeled ‘Stuff’ and began sifting through the dozens of similarly flavorful photos of her darling wife.
Twenty minutes passed and Akane finally, sheepishly, slipped into the press conference room. A ‘red velvet cake-red Parrot’ was nowhere to be found, having apparently run away off in embarrassment. Akane took some questions.
“Why New Hampshire?!”
“Oh, uh…well, I heard about the undefeated Bangiras and decided to see if I could defeat it!” Akane sipped some water, did a peace sign and added as she stepped away from the podium “So, uh, listen, I gotta get goin’! My wife’s going to kill me if I don’t buy her a souvenir!!” Frankly, Akane was more concerned about changing out of her sweaty bra but that wasn’t something she felt like saying to a room full of combat sports writers.
In the hallway leading to the back entrance Akane found her path blocked by a tall, lanky woman that she recognized as being…the US National Champion, Ms. Lopez. “Uh…hi,” Akane was getting tired of talking. She was used to having copious amounts of alone time even when with her wife. This was just annoying the **** out of her.
Straightening her posture as she stopped leaning on the wall, Ms. Lopez smiled and walked past Akane. Turning to whisper into her ear, Ms. Lopez gleamed, “Good luck beating me with that shoddy team!”
Akane let the mightiest trainer in the US take a few more steps before turning to respond, “Wataru-san and Shirona-san say ‘hi’!” as an obvious dig. Akane thought she might have heard an audible grunt from the US National Champion but her tall, striding form did not break as she widened the distance between the two.
Sighing from exhaustion, Akane continued to the double doors leading outside, pushed them open and was greeted by her Rikkun and the rest of the family.
THE END
Based on Pocket Monster by Tajiri Satoshi
Written by JulieYBM
Notes:
•Pocket Wars is set in a continuity that merges various different official Pokemon continuities together, as well as outside influence and ideas.
•Akane Redwood is my take on the character Red. In Pocket Wars trainers get their licenses at the age of fifteen. Akane is now twenty-two and had her license for about seven years.
•Junko Redwood is Akane’s wife. She’s based on the Blue character from official continuities. She retired when she and Akane got married. She, her Pokemon and Akane’s Pokemon take care of the Redwood family farm in Masara Town while raising their son.
•New Hampshire: in Pocket Wars the geography is similar to our world. As such, the State of New Hampshire exists and is the setting of this one-shot.
•I started writing this story on whim on 25 December 2019. You will notice it is written by the seat of one’s pants which is because I really did not plan the story out at all. ♥
•I normally just plan my stories without ever writing them. This time, however, I did the reverse!!
•The name ‘Ross Parrot’ comes from the US politician Ross Perot but the character of this character actually comes from a certain Democratic primary candidate from this 2020 race.
•In this world, Pokemon do not ‘forget’ moves nor are they restricted to only four moves. I found this more fun to write! ♥
Content & Trigger Warnings: This story contains salty language and sexism. There is also a graphic depiction of sexuality at the end. Additionally, some Pokemon experience devastating injuries as part of the sport of Pokemon battling.
***
Whether the lights were searing or whether they were merely uncomfortably warm, Ross Parrot did not know nor did he care. The new fibers used to craft his grey, flat textured suit absorbed sweat and kept the body cool unlike anything he had previous worn. Even the compounding of the summer heat held no real affect: Mister Parrot was simply happy as can be. Coming off of defending his title as the State Super Champion of the State of New Hampshire, Parrot was ecstatic. The thirty-four year old Parrot had now completed five title defenses in three years after grueling training to become the mightiest Pokemon trainer in his home state. Thirty-four was often seen as ‘old’ to be a ‘State Super Champion’ and coming up on his twentieth anniversary as a licensed Pokemon trainer was something Parrot found very embarrassing.
It was a small, crowded room where the press conference was being held. Despite being a press conference to celebrate the continuation of the reign of a State Super Champion the State of New Hampshire had little room or interest in providing a large space for the New Hampshire Pokemon League headquarters. Even the main tournament stadium was rather rinky-dink. New Hampshire was simply one of those rare states in the Union where Pokemon battling was not very popular or competitive. The bourgeoisie of the small state were simply not interested.
Parrot stood up to the podium when called, his tall, lanky body towering over it. Ignoring his habit of rubbing his right hand through his black hair to keep it off of his face, Parrot firmly grasped the podium and spoke into the microphone.
“I would like to thank you all for assembling today,” the parrot of a man named Parrot parroted. Years of experience as a trainer had gotten him use to being in front of crowds. While the only state title he had ever held was that of New Hampshire Super Champion the man named Parrot had learned to parrot the pleasantries of other ranking trainers. “First, I would like to extend a thank you to Skip—Skip Beaumont, my opponent in the final round—hell of a match, Skip!” He was bullshitting. Sure, Skip had nearly won since both trainers had been driven down to their sixth Pokemon, but the fight was more frustrating for Parrot than he would ever admit in public. Parrot’s ****-eating grin could be picked out from a mile away by anyone that knew him more personally, like his decade-long rival.
There was the expected round of applause for Skip, who meekly stood from his seat behind the podium to wave and mouth his thanks. Middle age was treating skip like a real *****, a nuclear wasteland of a hairline and a discernible limp from an old training accident with one of his Nageki.
“Secondly, as one might expect, I’m happy to announce that I will indeed to competing in this December’s US Nation League Tournament. I know there has been a lot of speculation as to why I haven’t participated despite qualifying when I first took the New Hampshire Super Championship, but—” a high-pitched voice shot from the crowd of reporters, breaking Parrot’s line of thought.
“Because you thought you’d get creamed in your first match?!” A hundred heads all seemed to turn towards the source of the wise-crack. A young woman in her pajamas slumping into her chair appeared to be the source.
Parrot cleared his voice; stifling his utter rage at being called out, “Uh—well, you see, I simply felt that it was best for my train—” another wise-crack rang out, this time making Parrot wonder if he was hearing an accent or not.
“To not get your ass kicked?” The woman fiddled with her purse, procuring a mirror, and checked her face for dirt.
Swallowing a Saihorn down his throat, Parrot asked, “May I ask whom this is?”
With devilish glee, the woman stood up and hopped onto her folding hair, her pink purse swinging up and down and all about on by her size. “Yo, it’s me!” there was a playful cuteness to how the black-and-brown-haired woman moved, childish cockiness and bravado sweeping the room of press and League officials off their sweet.
The podium could have sworn upon sight of his heckler that Parrot somehow gripped the wooden object even harder. His voice shaky, Parrot asked “And why, miss, can I ask that you have come to this press conference?” As if smiling at his own joke before even cracking it, Parrot added “Clearly from your choice of clothes you’re not here because you just participated in our state’s fair tournament.” A few voices in the room chuckled.
“Oh yeah, like, duh. I just flew in from Japan last night!”
There was an audible ‘heart emoji’ to the woman’s voice, irritating Parrot even more, “Oh, so you’re from Japan. I didn’t realize I had such cute fans over there!” The infuriated Parrot kept his cool, determined to take back ownership of his own press conference and humiliate the woman.
Making a comically disgusted face, the half-Japanese woman cried in an over-the-top manner, “What? Eww, no, ki-mo-chi-wa-ru-i! MAI WAIFU would divorce me if she thought I liked such a weak trainer!”
Color drained from Parrot’s face. Subconsciously attempting to draw attention away from his cold, yet furious face, Parrot loosened his tie and chuckled as if he found the joke amusing. He didn’t. “Oh, goodness! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were old enough to marry, I—”
“Nani?! You lolicon! Pervert!!” the woman flailed away, her mockery of the New Hampshire Super Champion with her fake bad accent drawing laughter from the room.
A torrent of fire raced up Parrot’s spine, borne of his stomach, and positively exploded out from the Caucasian man’s mouth in the form of a shriek, “What the **** did you say, you little whore?!” Parrot had to be restrained as he reached for a Hyper Ball from his suit pocket. A string of hereto inaudible slurs and curses spun with no particular rhythm from the cis man’s mouth.
The woman sheepishly put-upon a face of embarrassment, “Whoops! Joking, joking!”
“Alright, you little *****! Let’s take this outside that is if you have any Pokemon?!” League officials shook their heads in embarrassment.
Triumphant in successfully setting up her tee, the Japanese woman countered, “Sure, if you put up your title!”
Ross Parrot shrieked in response, punched his handlers in the nose to break free of their restraining, and roared. Parrot’s rage was unrestrained now, he couldn’t help himself, and he had definitely ruined his reputation. The endorsements weren’t going to survive this press conference that was for sure. If most of his best Pokemon weren’t still in the recovery room at the Pokemon Center he would have settled the issue on the spot. “Two days, you little *****. Four PM!! But why the **** should I risk my title? I’m not due to accept a challenge for another six months!”
“Poogle me. My name’s Akane Redwood,” the woman’s smug demeanor softly rested into a sort of…regal confidence. Her cheekiness drained from her face and now she bore the look of…
The entire room furiously hit their laptops and smart phones, name searching the woman. Finally, it became clear.
“Well, who the **** is she, Michael?”
Parrot’s handler, Michael, began to lose color in his face as he read aloud the top headline, “New Mother Akane Redwood Becomes Japan’s First Transgender Nation Champion…”
Suddenly, it all made sense to Parrot. First a twitch sprung to his face, followed by a deep breath from his lungs. Finally, Parrot’s shoulders sunk in relaxation. All eyes were on him now. How could he announce that he was going to try to become the US Nation Champion if he couldn’t take the Japanese Nation Champion’s title? “Deal.”
The room of reporters exploded.
“New Hampshire Super Champion Ross Parrot versus Japanese National Champion Akane Redwood: six-versus-six. Both participants may switch their Pokemon as they wish. No time-limit. Begin!” The rather handsome referee—who defied logic by actually looking good in a striped polo—swung down his flag sticks with grace that amused Akane. Akane bore a grin, thinking about how Junko—watching the live stream of the battle back home during the early morning h ours—was probably laughing at how the referee moved.
Having won the coin toss, Parrot launched a Super Ball onto the field. From the blue and white colored sphere exploded a red torrent of energy that swiftly reformed into a war-dancing Gamageroge. Rain began to fall, surprising nobody.
Akane reached in the pink purse that her body language suggested she cherished greatly. Procuring a Monster Ball with a leaf symbol decal on it, Akane enlarged the ball and tossed it onto the field. If Gamageroge stormed out of his Super Ball then the Jukain that came from her Monster Ball did so swiftly and curtly.
Ross Parrot cursed under his breath and thrust forward his thumb, “Gama, Ice Punch!” The hulking toad began lumbered forward and once in striking range launched a series of punches fueled by ice-type elementary energy.
Jukain carefully studied her opponent’s moves, remaining weary enough to even side-step a blast of Toxic energy. The patience of the two women facing them began to gnaw at Parrot and after a solid three minutes of his Ice Punches missing the mark the New Hampshire Super Champion broke pace, “Gama, back off and use Hyper Voice!” That was his fatal flaw.
With her foe unable to break away from an assault without dropping their defenses Jukain and Akane—as if their minds in perfect sync—spotted their opening and tore it right open. A Leaf Blade, unsheathed at blinding speed, tore through Gamageroge’s belly and chin like a hot knife through butter. Gamageroge shrieked a horrific cry no writer that day could put into words. Even the parents covering their children’s’ eyes and ears wished they could forget the hellish sound. A follow-up Dragon Claw from Jukain sent the wailing, defenseless Gamageroge into the force-field protecting the spectator stands and into slumber. A shaken Parrot retrieved his toad Pokemon with little fanfare. This Akane woman was no slouch. “Chevargo, come on out!”
Akane watched as a medical official took the Super Ball that housed Gamageroge off to be tended to. It was never fun needing to see a Pokemon require immediate attention after a battle but she had become somewhat numb to it over the years. Jukain shot back at her trainer an expression that said “Whoops…” leaving Akane only able to roll her eyes. “Wanna fight this guy? A bug and steel-type might be a pain in the ass for you, Jukain-nee.” The elder sister to Akane’s Hou’en team merely clicked her tongue in response. “Be my guest, girlfriend.”
Whether it was Fury Cutter or Fell Stinger, Jukain nimbly avoided her quick foe’s strikes. A Super Champion’s bug-type Pokemon was no laughing matter for a grass-type such as herself, after all. Leaping over her armored foe, Jukain turned around to slam a Brick Break into the bug-type. Unfortunately for Jukain, Chevargo was one step ahead and already had a lance-arm pointed at her throat. It was not, however, her throat that Jukain finally felt pain, however. Before she could react, Chevargo used his left lance-arm to stab the Jukain in the gut. To make matters worse, Jukain could tell that the bug-type had coated his lance in Toxic. She was now severely poisoned, meaning a battle of attrition—where she thrived—was not going to cut it anymore.
Akane was beginning to sweat now and held up her bracelet, “Jukain, wanna?”
Jukain shot at glance at her master, grimaced, and decided “No! I’ll be damned if I need to use Mega Evolution to beat this guy!” The grass-type immediately created some distance by using Double Team to create several illusionary copies of herself. As if aware of each other’s positions, both Pokemon began performing Swords Dance so as to raise their power to the maximum. They wanted to end things like the swordsmen they were.
‘Pride is pride, I suppose,’ Akane thought to herself.
With their physical attack power now maximized both Pokemon launched into a full power flurry of blades. Jukain knew she had no time to even maximize her speed, the power of the poison coursing through her veins were quickly drawing her to unconsciousness. Her and Akane’s tried-and-true technique for situations like this was all she needed: a mix of Leaf Blades to trap their foes into a rhythm and then break it with Brick Break to deal the winning blow. Unfortunately, Chevargo had apparently learned to maximize his own defenses through using Iron Defense while attacking. ‘Hell of a champion, after all!’ Finally, Jukain’s focus broke and she took a X-Scissor she normally would not straight to her chest.
“Jukain!” rarely did strikes break Akane’s veneer of cool and lead her to show audible worry for her Pokemon. Seven years of being a Pokemon trainer had given Akane a sense of cool but every so often she was reminded—in the smallest of ways—that they, too, bled.
‘Should’ve taken the Mega!’ Jukain cursed herself in retrospect as she struggled to pick herself up off of her ass.
“Finish her, X-Scissor!!” Parrot was not going to give up causing as much direct pain as he could. At this point all he needed to do was give Chevargo the order to keep his distance and let Toxic do the rest of the work, Parrot was—however—a misogynist and an asshole.
Chevargo stormed forward with his lances and channeled Bug-type elementary energy into his dual lances. ‘An honorable defeat for an honorable foe, Lady Jukain!!’
With her foe ramming forward, Jukain realized that she would in no way be able to dodge, ‘Unless…’ Abandoning her futile attempt to stand, Jukain let herself fall flat on her back, just in the nick of time to avoid Chevargo’s slashes.
‘Oh, sh—” Chevargo’s eyes burst out of his sockets as he realized what was coming.
Mouth wide as can be, Jukain fired a furious Dragon Breath at Chevargo’s exposes underside and sent him flying. Struggling to take advantage of her new found distance from Chevargo, Jukain fired a Sunny Day into the sky. The soccer ball-esque ball of fire flew into the sky and seemed to explode in a flash, pushing away the rain clouds and replacing them with a furious ball of fire.
‘Heal, heal, heal!!’ Akane prayed to herself. The Sunny Day would make Synthesis stronger, if only slightly off-setting the effects of Toxic.
Parrot wasn’t having any of it, though, “Use the gravity of your fall to increase your speed and slam into that ***** with a Giga Impact!!”
“Oh, ****,” was as audible an expression as Jukain could muster at that point. Body bathing in sunrays as she lay defenselessly on the ground, the grass-type Pokemon timed her response. ‘Can I outlast the Toxic or…?’ The green and silver blur of a bomb diving at high-speeds toward her left with few options. There was really only one gamble she had left. Mere seconds felt like eternity for her. In some ways, it was eternity!
“Fall!!” Chevargo roared as he finally made landfall.
The entire field was covered in a smoke cloud as the explosive energy generated by the bug-type Pokemon’s crash warped the entire field.
Parrot was positively smug, “Got you this time, little girl!”
“Cool, Oji-san!” Akane mocked from her side of the dust cloud.
Parrot scoffed, “Willing to lose a Pokemon, are we? How cruel of you!”
Members of the crowd could swear that they could audibly hear Akane roll her eyes as she replied, “Not really!”
Finally, the dust settled and revealed the truth of the matter: Chevargo had crashed horrifically painfully and Jukain—while heavy of breath—stood.
Fury traveled north from Parrot’s stomach, threatening to burn the trail behind it, as it tore open his lips and rang out, “HOW?!”
Smug, Akane pointed to her big green friend.
Jukain had wrapped herself in psychic-type energy protruding from her brain. The power of this psychic-type energy had given her body the much needed boost in speed it needed.
“A-Agility!” Parrot was flabbergasted. Jukain had managed to switch from Synthesis to Agility fast enough to not only dodge but counterattack with a firmly placed Brick Break to Chevargo’s once again unguarded underside to further speed up his crash into the ground.
“Chevargo is unable to battle,” spoketh the referee. Another of Parrot’s Pokemon was immediately taken to be healed, only this time with Jukain asking to tag along. The count was now 2-1 in favor of the challenger.
Parrot struggled to see anything but red, a red so red any red in a box of crayons grew redder in embarrassment. From the moment this woman had crashed his triumphant press conference she had been unceasingly a thorn in his side. That would change here and now; it was time to destroy! Drawing another Hyper Ball from his belt, Parrot unleashed his third Pokemon: Tropius!
Akane took her time to dust off her black one-piece and red leather jacket, “Jeez, Junko gave me this dress…” the simple farm girl from Masara Town didn’t even want to begin to think about what damage had been done to her hair by the dust storm.
“Hurry up and choose your next Pokemon!” scowled Parrot.
Shooting a glance to the referee, Akane confirmed that even he was getting a little annoyed, “Gotcha, no problem!”A burst of red energy shot out of Akane’s pink purse and landed in front of her with a thud. “Oh, you wanna battle that bad, Lizardon?”
“I wanted to crush this guy’s whole team by myself, Akane-chan!” whined the rather cutesy-voiced fire-type, standing just under his trainer’s five-foot-eight-inch height.
Akane giggled in response to her first Pokemon’s bratty tone, “You’re our ace, Lizadon! You can’t just fight all the time!” Frankly, Akane just wanted to tease her closest friend. ‘It’s kind of perverted to think so, but I do wish I had decided to crush this guy from the moment go…’
“Continue!” Once again, Akane giggled at the thought of what funny comment her wife would make about the graceful movements of the dorky-if-handsome-looking referee.
“Lizardon, have fun with the Sunny Day Jukain-nee left you and set the field ablaze with Flamethrower!” The boulders of the shattered field essentially became molten lava rock seconds after being embraced by the stream of golden fire that spewed out of Lizardon’s snout.
Tropius took to the sky to avoid the heat but Parrot knew they were ****ed against such a mighty Lizardon. “Tropius, return!” a red beam of energy took Tropius back to his Hyper Ball and left Lizardon all by his lonesome. ‘This is just ridiculous!’ Parrot scowled as he desperate thought of which of his Pokemon to select next, ‘How am I supposed to battle a Lizardon that’s known to have defeated a number of legendary Pokemon?! It’ll take my whole team just to tire him out a little!’
Finally, Parrot brought forth the electric-type Shibirudon and the match continued. Lizardon—no stranger to electric-types—carefully watched the eel Pokemon for electric attacks that would paralyze him. As a surprise to absolutely nobody, Shibirudon opened the battle with a Thunder Wave. A wave of energy spread over the field only for the high-flying Lizardon to avoid due to his height advantage. Responding in kind, Lizardon poured another Flamethrower straight down on his foe below.
Parrot snickered in response as the fires of his own belly distracted Lizardon from the storm building behind him. Catching the darkening cloud behind Lizardon, Akane gasped. “Lizardon, behi—” it was too late; a full power blast of Thunder struck down and hit Lizardon right in the spine. A nasty thud followed a shriek from the fire and flying-type Pokemon. Any time Lizardon showed signs of standing Shibirudon simply poured another Thunder attack on the flying-type. Ground-type moves were useless against a Pokemon with the Levitate ability and Lizardon was quickly running out of idea.
“Bah, to hell with this!” holding up her left arm, Akane poured a piece of her spirit into the bracelet around her left wrist. “Lizardon, Mega Evolve!” Energy shot out from the crystal on Akane’s bracelet and connected with Lizardon. The energies of the two beings poured and mixed, bathing Lizardon in a white light that led into a fire of colors both black and blue. Finally, bursting free of those fires was Mega Lizardon X, a fire and dragon-type Pokemon known for its brutal physical power.
Parrot could feel his lungs empty as if on instinct alone. This was the Pokemon that had gone toe-to-toe with the world renowned Wataru’s Kairyuu, utterly destroying Japan’s biggest stadium. Seeing him in person did wonders at quashing the New Hampshire man’s ego. “Shibirudon, Dragon Claw at his neck!”
‘A wise move, on paper,’ Akane admitted to herself.
Foreseeing his opponents movement and timing, Mega Lizardon X merely caught Shibirudon’s tail mid-swing and motioned to slam him into the ground.
Taking whatever opening he could, Shibirudon hacked up a ball of purple, goopy energy straight down upon Mega Lizardon X, “Take that, bastard!”
With surprising nimbleness, Lizardon dropped his prey and backed off to the side quick enough to avoid the Toxic. Unfortunately for the fire-type, this just made Shibirudon’s follow-up all the easier to launch. An unprecedented stream of electric energy crashed into the dragon at close range, sending him straight into the protective shielding so hard that the field momentarily failed. Waking from a nightmare in a cold sweat was not particularly different from that moment. Children in the stands would remember it with vivid detail for the rest of their lives.
“Finish him while he’s paralyzed!” Shibirudo did not need to be told twice and quickly dashed forward to finish Lizardon with a Dragon Claw right to his neck.
Roaring in unrelenting pride, Lizardon broke free of his paralysis just long enough to counter with his own Dragon Claw, a deep-cutting slash of his Tough Claws-powered and same-type attack boosted claws. The deluge of blood left children traumatized and Shibirudon flattened like a pancake in the field at Mega Lizardon X’s feet.
“Shibirudon is unable to battle!”
Blood poured from Parrot’s lip as he bit deeply into it. “I’ll kill her,” the Super Champion scowled as he unleashed his Kuitaran. “Hone Claws!”
With Kuitaran clearly maximizing his power for a sort of physical strike, Lizardon decided to take the opportunity to calm his mind. As he and Akane had learned over their seven years together, the key to moving while suffering from paralysis was a calm, well-trained mind.
“Now, Stockpile!”
Akane already what Parrot had in mind: either use Swallow to restore Kuitaran’s health or Spit Up to cause major damage to their foe. Luckily, Lizardon was no fool and all she had to do was watch.
Waiting for his foe to make the first move, Lizardon stood in complete silence, seeming not even to breathe. Finally, Kuitaran dashed forward and spat up his stockpiled energy. Unfortunately for him, Lizardon was still faster than Parrot expected and sliced right through the blast with Dragon Claw.
“Oh, ****!” it was too late, Lizardon had slice into Kuitaran’s chest so quickly that the fire-type mole had passed out on mere contact. Connecting with the spectator force-field had merely shocked the mole back awake.
“Kuitaran is unable to battle!”
Back on the ranch in Masara Town, Junko Redwood giggled at the goofy movements the referee made as he signaled that Kuitaran was no longer able to battle. The massive television screen bathed the pajama-clad mom-bod in various shifting lights and every time Junko peeled her eyes away to check for the sunrise it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Her son, Jonathan IV, was being an uncharacteristically good boy and sleeping through the night, allowing Junko to watch her battle somewhat seriously for the first time in a year.
‘I really did miss seeing you like this, Akane-chan…’ memories of Akane staying at home in Masara Town to help raise Joyo flooded Junko’s mind. As a former traveling Pokemon trainer herself she knew how hard it was on the mind and body to take too long a break from facing high-level foes but aside from her two League-mandated title defenses in the last nine months Akane had stayed at home and enjoyed the trials and tribulations of raising a baby with her. The sight of her wife once more pouring her all into a battle left her positively warm on the inside. Wendy—Junko’s Windie sitting at the base of the couch—left her warm on the outside.
Cameron-kun, a custom crafted apron draped around him, brought his mistress a plate of delicacies, making her wonder why it is he was cooking so early in the morning. “Oi, it’s four in the morning, Cameron-kun!” The Kamex frowned until Junko agreed to fill her pooch with his admittedly delicious delicacies.
Finally, Joyo began to cry—likely out of hunger—and the gaudy Kamex rushed up the stairs to take care of his ward. The entire house seemed to creak under the weight of the Kamex’s run! “Hey, hey, hey,” the swollen breasted mother intoned as she followed her big blue friend up the stairs, jovially shaking her bra-less chest, “I’m the one who feeds the baby!”
“Tropius, Air Slash his gut open!”
Before Lizardon could even thank Kuitaran for his time he found blades of gust cutting right into his skin. “Sh-****!!” Tropius had returned to the battlefield and was now determined to weaken him as much as he could for Parrot’s final Pokemon.
“Sacrificing Tropius, huh?” deadpanned Akane, “Well, I guess we’ve done the same before, too, but I hope you at least asked Tropius if he was okay with this…”
Following Tropius’ movements in the air, Lizardon waited for his moment. Several Sunny Day-backed Solar Beams crashed into the low-flying Mega Lizardon X from high above with the thudding force of a car crashing at 80MPH but the dragon maintained his cool, awaiting his opening. Finally, Tropius’ stamina faultered and in that split second, a black blur with streaks of blue flame tailing behind it sliced right through the flying and grass-type.
Parrot was stunned, “Tsubame Gaeshi? But how did he ascend so fast?”
“Parrot, return your Tropius, quick!!”
Parrot snapped from his trance at the woman’s voice and refocused his sight on his Tropius. The unconscious Pokemon was descending with astonishing—nay, frightful—speed. ‘****, he might die!’ Fumbling, Parrot dropped his Tropius’ Hyper Ball out of fatigue. “****!”
Lizardon descended with graceful form and speed, determined to save Tropius’ life. A slight turn just past and under Tropius’ descent path gave Lizardon all the space he needed to center himself under his falling fallen foe and cushion the impact.
Akane rushed to her friend’s side, the dust blowing onto her one-piece be damned, “Rikkun, are you okay?”
Silence.
Motionless.
One moment past.
Two moments past.
Medics rushed to the field urging the trainers to first let the two Pokemon receive a basic check-up. Lizardon had taken the brunt of the crash and likely took on some spinal damage, “Rikkun, honey, wake up!” Fear bore into Akane as she realized that such a fall could have done worse than spinal damage—it could have given Rikkun brain damage!
Finally, a moan, “Aah, why me?”
Never had Akane Redwood been so glad to hear the angelic voice of her dear friend. Akane had long ago learned to just let her Estradiol Tears go unperturbed, “ばか!”
“Bangiras, Mega Evolve!!” The mightiest Pokemon of the number one ranked Pokemon trainer in New Hampshire burst into a raging black and red aura. The stadium roared in applause as the now undefeated Bangiras took center stage. Chants of Bangiras’ name soared throughout the stadium. Parrot might have been an ass but his Bangiras was a people’s champion.
Akane recalled the research she’d done. In all of the two dozen officially uploaded battles she had seen with Bangiras he had never lost a single one. More often than not he didn’t even require Mega Evolution or a Z-Move to win. With Rikkun and Jukain-nee out of commission it was going to be an interesting match for Akane. ‘All I have left on me are Kingler, Zebraika, Berobelt and Skutank. Ugh, Goukazaru and Gekkouga are going to be so pissy that I didn’t bring them with me this time…’Finally, Akane settled on her winning strategy. “Kingler, Muddy Water!”
Bursting from his Super Ball, Kingler immediately set about muddying the Sandstorm-terraformed battlefield.
“I don’t care what strategy you think you’re going to pull off here, you’re done for!” Parrot shot two middle fingers up as Mega Bangiras simply unleashed a Thunderbolt at the slow-moving Kingler, only for the blast to be rebuffed by the water-type’s Protect.
“Alrighty Kingler, Scald!”
A burst of scalding hot water broke out of both of Kingler’s claws, only to be rebuked by Mega Bangiras’ impenetrable Sandstorm. Akane had feared this. Bangiras was known not simply for his power but it infamously impenetrable defense. As a national-level trainer herself, Akane recognized that Bangiras was definitely ready to play with the big boys, girls and enbies. “Rain Dance is useless here, too” Akane mumbled under her breath, “He’ll just keep using that powerful Sandstorm technique of his…damn it to hell…”
“Come to me, you little *****. I am the king here!” Parrot’s ego was re-inflating most detestably.
Fed up with his situation, Kingler shot Akane a look she understood instantly and began focusing his normal-type elemental energy. Akane, meanwhile, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘It’s been a while since any of us have done this…’ Suddenly, the small gold aura deep within Akane’s heart grew and grew until it consumed her full form. This caught the attention of the entire stadium, Parrot included. Soon, Kingler and Akane were both painted a solid gold as their shared a single aura connected by a rope of golden energy.
“What the hell is this?” Parrot wondered aloud.
‘Of course this dipshit wouldn’t know anything about this,’ Akane groaned to herself, “Kingler, Hakai-kousen!!”
Drawing forward his right claw while using his left to steady his right, Kingler aimed and then unleashed a beam of golden-colored energy so intense it managed to slice through Mega Bangiras’ ‘impenetrable defense’ and slam right into the unsuspecting rock and evil-type’s solar plexus, knocking the beast right onto his back.
“Crab Hammer!!”
Dashing forward with uncharacteristic speed, Kingler poured more of his shared strength with Akane into his claws before slamming them into his foe’s unguarded chest.
“Bangiras, fight back!!” panic was beginning to settle in Parrot voice once more, ‘How can this be? Is Bangiras really going to lose to a ****ing Kingler?!’
“Again!” Excitement threatened to torrentially tear straight from her toes up to her spine and shatter her voice but Akane kept herself in check and knew that there was always a chance **** could go south in a split-second.
Kingler pounded and pounded away, making sure that Mega Bangiras never recovered his breath. Unfortunately for Kingler, he didn’t realize just how much the Sandstorm was affecting his eyesight and hearing.
Silently, Bangiras raised his arm and struck Kingler from behind with a Thunder Punch.
Knocked aside several feet the water-type struggled to regain his bearings after the sneak attack but before he could fell prey to and unexpected Dark Pulse. Now, sent flying into the spectator force-field, Kingler bemoaned how uneventful his first official match in over a year was turning out to be.
A red flag rose—with the anticipated grace—signaling that Kingler was unable to battle.
“Berobelt, Supersonic!”
Mega Bangiras had need for little more than a scream to cancel out the effect of Berobelt’s ‘Supersonic’ technique. The sandstorm on its own was enough to muffle hearing-based techniques as it were but Bangiras took some pleasure in defiantly slapping back his foe’s strategies. The undefeated emperor demanded a bigger challenge.
Akane brushed her damp bangs out of her eye with a pout, “Ugh, Goukazaku and Gekkouga are watching this match on TV right now and shaking their heads, aren’t they?”
Back on the ranch, Junko breastfed Joyo and criticized Cameron-kun for stomping around the house like an idiot. Among the many Pokemon huddled around the television, a Goukazaru and a Gekkouga covered their eyes in embarrassment.
Using her massive, thick tongue to scoop up some sand, Berobelt lunged at Mega Bangiras, hoping to blind him with some sand. Unfortunately for her, the rock-type was merely spewed a Fire Blast from his mouth and sent the pink Pokemon flying backwards…and vaporizing?
“****, Double Team?!” the thickness of the sandstorm that Bangiras used as an impregnable fortress was now coming back to bite him in the ass. Berobelt was using the veil to mask her movements. Suddenly, a tongue sprung out from the abyss and wrapped around Bangiras’ feet, then tripped him over. He knew where this was going.
Springing out from the veil, Berobelt used her full weight to crash down on Bangiras as accurately as she could and aimed a Brick Break onto the Mega Pokemon’s solar plexus.
Using the opportunity, Bangiras solidified his mind and turned his body ever to slightly to avoid a direct hit on his solar plexus, took the heavy chop from his plump foe into his hardened hide and then held on tight, squeezing the normal-type until she screamed.
“Bero, Screech!”
‘Yes, which I’m up close!’ but if only she could fill her crushing lungs.
Mega Bangiras ripped and rolled so as to top Berobelt. Raising his leg, Bangiras slammed it downward only to find that his foe had rolled into the sandstorm.
‘The only way for us to hit that pink **** decisively is to drop the sandstorm…’Parrot’s tense posture began to wear on his back, he found. “Bangiras, drop the sandstorm momentarily!”
The expression painted upon Mega Bangiras’ face did not say that he was pleased with t he order. Nevertheless, he acquiesced and soon the gusts of sand were gone and all that remained was the sand-filled battlefield.
Berobelt, clearly, was nowhere to be seen.
Bangiras scowled at this. The normal-type Pokemon was now hiding under the sand, waiting to strike. A twitch spread across the rock and evil-type Pokemon’s face when he realized that using Earthquake would have no effect: the sand would merely absorb the impact. ‘Can I use Blizzard to freeze her out? Or…wait…yes…’ a smug grin spread across Bangiras’ face. Taking a deep breath, Mega Bangiras began to launch countless Fire Blasts into the sand, spreading the heat deeper and deeper into the dunes.
Confusion riddled Akane for a very unpleasant ten seconds. “What the…?” then, terror settled in as the young mother realized what was afoot. “Berobelt, get out of there!”
It was too late; Berobelt was being encased in sand that was quickly becoming glass. ‘Oh, dear…’ the fear borne of her heart was beginning to bore itself out and through her body as she realized not only did she have limited oxygen left, but she was becoming encased in glass and unable to move. Berobelt quickly reached out or Akane’s heart with her own, grasped it, and exploded in a golden aura: there was only move left to make. Reaching through the sand to the solid rock above her, Berobelt wrapped her massive tongue onto the very suspecting Mega Bangiras’ right left and pulled herself up to the surface with just enough speed to reduce the amount of damage done by crashing through sheets and shards of glass. Unfortunately for her, Mega Bangiras was ready and waiting with a Dark Pulse with her name on it.
Grasping the slimy, thick tongue of his plump foe tightly, Mega Bangiras threw his foe into the air. Without letting go, the hulking pea-green bastard fired a close-range Dark Pulse at full power.
Berobelt refused to give her foe the satisfaction of hearing her scream as she faded into unconsciousness.
A tall, lanky woman adorning a head full of golden hair and a pink two-piece bikini covered only with an artificially weathered jean jacket slipped into the announcer box unannounced. Drawing the attention of the three men staffing the box, the woman greeted them with due familiarity, pulled up a spare chair, plopped down upon it and asked the obvious question, “Where we at, boys?”
Pulling his mic away from his mouth, the lead announcer didn’t miss a beat, “Shithead’s down to Mega Bangiras, this Japanese gal’s got two unannounced Pokemon left.”
“No ****?” Clearly this was not what the Lantina was expecting, “I heard about this on the news the other day so I thought I’d stop by, but who the hell would have thought Shithead would be backed into a corner?”
Another commentator chimed in, turning off his mic, “She’s using some Pokemon that she normally doesn’t use in her major matches but she’s definitely keepin’ Parrot at bay. It’s a shame her ace, Lizardon, is already out.”
The room nodded their heads in general consensus before craning their necks to look out the window at the newly unveiled Skutank.
“Going to try to poison that bastard, huh?” the woman chimed in as she unsheathed two 120s, lit them and stuck them in her mouth, “Too bad that ain’t gonna work!”
The lead announcer sighed, plucked one of the 120s from the woman’s mouth and inhaled in kind, “Oof, yeah. I can’t remember the last time that big ****er got poisoned,” the brown-haired lead took another puff and offered one to his two cohorts, both of which gave him a “Are you kidding me?” look of exasperation.
“Who do you think is going to win, Ms. Lopez?” asked the youngest of the three announcers, obviously still star-struck by her presence.
“Well, Parrot’s Bangiras has never lost. Of course, that bastard picks and chooses his opponents so as to protect his pwecious wecord! Personally, I hope this chick in the one piece and the rad jacket wins so I don’t have to fight this creep for my title. Ugh!”
The returning sandstorms were met by the odious Smokescreen of the poison-type Skutank as it filled the air. The two consistencies of dirt and dust somehow mixed upon contacted and became something fouler and fouler yet.
Skutank’s array of poison-type moves flew through the sandstorm but never hit their mark. Bangiras, his defense impregnable, had never and would never, allow himself to be poisoned. A point of pride for the evil rock-type, he would not be forced into a battle on his foe’s terms.
Akane groaned in annoyance at her own carelessness. Skutank was a hell of a girl but she could become very…upset when her poison techniques failed her. “Skutank, Flamethrower in a circle!” Attack from all angles was the only choice left as the sandstorm grew fiercer. Sheets of glass dropped to the ground, some shattering and others not.
“Let’s end this quickly, Destruction Beam!!” The End Game was coming.
Doing her best to avoid Mega Bangiras’ ultimate attack, Skutank ran about the field to avoid the torrential beam of purple and black energy. Unfortunately, this meant tripping and over glass. Screeching in pain as she stepped on the shards, Skutank hit the sandy ground with a cushioned thud and was summarily consumed by the void.
“Skutank!” panic rode up Akane’s spine in a spiral before shrieking out of her mouth like a dying animal.
The referee raised his flag and Skutank was officially declared unable to battle.
Parrot’s glee washed over his body. Parrot watched his undefeated titan Bangiras bring the annoying girl that had mocked him to her last Pokemon with much anticipation. “Serves you right, you little *****!”
Mega Bangiras dug below the surface of the field and leapt out right at Zebraika’s underside and sent the electric-type flying. The blue, web-esque wires of electricity falling from the now airborne Zebraika signaled Thunder Wave, an attempt to paralyze him. Retreating back into the ground solves the issue easily.
“Gotcha!! Zebraika use Shockwave!”
With much grace, Zebraika landed on his hooves and began concentrating a way of energy straight down the hole his foe retreated into. Filling the series of tunnels with electric-type power, Bangiras was eventually forced out from the ground within Zebraika’s sight. Wasting no time, the zebra Pokemon made use of his Agility-boosted speed and slammed a Wild Charge into his foe.
Bangiras roared as his approaching foe and slammed into him using the full weight of his body. The two colliding forces blew one another back as their clashing forms seemingly churned and twisted like water colors mixing in fresh water.
A bolt of lightning struck out from Zebraika and his Bangiras before he could react. The blast was enough to make Bangiras shudder, but unfortunately the rock Pokemon would not be paralyzed. At his master’s command, Zebraika followed up with Double Kick, finally slamming a super effective attack into Bangiras’ ribcage.
Feeling blood rising up his throat, Bangiras rolled with the internal bleeding and spat the blood into his electric-type foe’s eyes. With Zebraika now blinded, Bangiras fired a close-range Destruction Beam, sending Zebraika flying.
Emotions running high, Akane remembered far worse pinches in her light and poured that into her fist. Punching forward, Akane yelled, “Full-power, baby!”
Zebraika and his trainer erupted into a golden aura. Already he could feel her exhaustion at having used this technique so much. HRT made it especially hard on her body but Akane’s decision to face as much strife as her teammates had been the unshakable string that bound her and her Pokemon. Maximizing his strength speed through Agility and his defense with Light Screen, Zebraika brought his full power to the forefront.
“Shockwave!!”
It came as no surprise to anyone in the nosebleeds when the surge of yellow energy blasted and knocked back Mega Bangiras.
“Dig!” the electric power, of course, followed Bangiras and chased him underground.
Patience was not always the speed-demon Pokemon’s strong point, but here he could feel Akane’s influence pulling him back, making her more aware and more powerful than usual. Finally, it happened. Leaping into the sky and locking on with Laser Focus, Zebraika struck the emerging Bangiras with a full-power Thunder that resulted in a mighty explosion upon contact. As trained by his master, Zebraika broke into a Double Kick as gravity began to beckon him back to the battlefield. Diving deep into the sour, bitter smokescreen that was the crater in which Bangiras now inhabited, Zebraika made a clean impacted and kicked his foe right out of the screen and onto the sand-cushioned ground.
Shakiness began to infiltrate Akane’s legs as she realized that she had now hit her limit. Zebraika would be on his own now. ‘Damn it, gotta pee now, too!’ Steadying her stance, Akane took a deep breath and yelled “Shockwave!!”
Baking soda filled a model mountain and soon boiled over in eruption. Parrot felt as if he could punch a thousand people in frustration as Mega Bangiras slipped back into his normal form after being bathed in the power of the Shockwave, barely conscious. “Goddamn it, Bangiras fight back!!”
A storm of pride raged fiercely in the rock and evil-type’s heart as he struggled back to his feet, “I won’t be dethroned here!” The pangs of hunger soon infiltrated Bangiras’ heart and he soon realized that he was hungry, despite it all. Firing off a Dark Pulse only to miss, Bangiras grunted and re-strengthened his impregnable defense.
Zebraika cursed under his breath as he realized that he had lost sight of his foe. ‘Just a few more hits!!’ Was impatience being reborn in the electric-type’s heart? Sadly so, the effects of Passion having been dropped after that devastating Thunder.
Spironolactone is a diuretic and thus causes the consumer of said medicine to require the consumption of spectacular amounts of water before then urinating. Despite the advances in medicine offering alternative manners for transition, Akane had decided to stick with the old way of Spironolactone for suppressing her testosterone. As a result, she would often begin to feel the need to urinate mid-battle. Now, her impatience was the one growing. “****! ****!” she mumbled under her breath as the two powerhouse Pokemon sniped at each other through the thick veil of sand, “I gotta pee so bad! Argh!!” A spring returned to Akane’s step and flinging forward a fist she cried, “Zebraika, destroy the field with a barrage of Thunder!!”
Zebraika—like Rikkun and all the others—had learned what this tone of voice meant from their dear friend: she had to pee, really bad. Summoning his remaining strength to the forefront the zebra dug into the rather soft ground and summoned massive bolts of electric-energy from the skies, utterly decimating the energy field.
Parrot was in pure, unbridled shock. Bangiras’ impregnable defense had literally been impregnated. Over the course of seven seconds the sandstorm quelled until it finally dispersed all together. Bangiras could no longer mentally maintain his undefeated defense.
It took all of his strength to maintain his standing. The rock titan’s throat was dried beyond what his own patience would withstand. His legs shook with the ferocity of a standing dough mixer. His foe didn’t look much for wear, but neither could move to strike one another. Now, it was a game of patience to see who could stand longest.
A fierce shriek escaped Akane’s mouth as she couldn’t stand it anymore, “私は排尿しなければなりません!!”
The journalists watching this battle live would later Poogle what Redwood-san shrieked, utterly disgusted by her open crudeness.
Feeling Akane’s anxious energy filling him, Zebraika’s legs began to work for him once again, “T-this is…” Leaping forward, Zebraika slammed into Bangiras’ ribcage until he fell into the much familiar position of being on his back. The Zebraika stomped his hooves into his fallen foe just for good measure before finding himself once again unable to move.
The referee raised his flag declaring Bangiras unable to battle.
Back on the ranch, the living room of the Redwood home was abuzz in celebration. Junko snuck into the kitchen, posed for a selfie and texted it to her lovely wife as a reward.
Akane bowed furiously quickly before running off the field without giving a comment to the television broadcaster. Reaching the lavatory, Akane practically threw herself onto the throne and finally found sweet relief. Checking her phone the black and brown haired women noticed a text from her wife and opened it. “Congrats, Akane-chan! Here’s something to remind you of what you get back home after conquering the other forty-nine states! ♥” Upon opening the attachment, Akane was greeted by the lewdest ahegao she had seen in over a year.
Looking down at her erect penis, Akane sighed, added the photo to a folder labeled ‘Stuff’ and began sifting through the dozens of similarly flavorful photos of her darling wife.
Twenty minutes passed and Akane finally, sheepishly, slipped into the press conference room. A ‘red velvet cake-red Parrot’ was nowhere to be found, having apparently run away off in embarrassment. Akane took some questions.
“Why New Hampshire?!”
“Oh, uh…well, I heard about the undefeated Bangiras and decided to see if I could defeat it!” Akane sipped some water, did a peace sign and added as she stepped away from the podium “So, uh, listen, I gotta get goin’! My wife’s going to kill me if I don’t buy her a souvenir!!” Frankly, Akane was more concerned about changing out of her sweaty bra but that wasn’t something she felt like saying to a room full of combat sports writers.
In the hallway leading to the back entrance Akane found her path blocked by a tall, lanky woman that she recognized as being…the US National Champion, Ms. Lopez. “Uh…hi,” Akane was getting tired of talking. She was used to having copious amounts of alone time even when with her wife. This was just annoying the **** out of her.
Straightening her posture as she stopped leaning on the wall, Ms. Lopez smiled and walked past Akane. Turning to whisper into her ear, Ms. Lopez gleamed, “Good luck beating me with that shoddy team!”
Akane let the mightiest trainer in the US take a few more steps before turning to respond, “Wataru-san and Shirona-san say ‘hi’!” as an obvious dig. Akane thought she might have heard an audible grunt from the US National Champion but her tall, striding form did not break as she widened the distance between the two.
Sighing from exhaustion, Akane continued to the double doors leading outside, pushed them open and was greeted by her Rikkun and the rest of the family.
THE END