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Time for the short intermission between circuits. This'll foreshadow some Pokemon for later on, plus Chansey returns. The fact that she was in the OU Circuit wasn't added in, there was a secret World Circuit in the NES game with King Hippo, who Chansey is portraying, in it. Enjoy the 20th chapter!
Chapter 20: Break Before the Big Boys
At 10 p.m the following night, a chunky and red colored gentlemen has taken his apprentice’s simple two wheeled form of transportation without permission. In other words… a fat guy stole someone else’s bike. “Seriously doc! You need to stop!”
“Never!” Hitmonchan was chasing Throh on his bicycle, while still in his pink jumpsuit. They passed by the Scraggy and Scrafty’s house who videotaped them the last time Hitmonchan chased his coach for his bike. When the Scraggy saw the two traveling outside his window, he called his father immediately.
“DADDY! DADDY! Hey daddy!” The Scraggy pointed to the two on the road as the Scrafty approached. “There’s those two again! Can we video tape them again?”
“You don’t have to tell me twice. We’ve already go 40,000 views on that video, why not again?” Scrafty flipped the switch of the video camera on and started the recording.
***
“Hey Hitmonchan! Do you think it’s possible to eat chocolate while cycling? I’m gonna try!”
“No! Don’t wreck my bicycle!” Hitmonchan looked around for a quicker way of transportation, and saw a Prinplup holding a knapsack riding a scooter. “Hey dude, could I borrow your scooter for a bit? I’ll give it back.”
“Sure, I don’t need it anymore-“
“Thanks!” Hitmonchan unintentionally knocked Prinplup off while jumping on. As he continued on, the knapsack the Prinplup was carrying fell to the ground, revealing a ton of Pokédollars! The Prinplup also transformed into a Ditto! Before he could recollect them, a police Arcanine noticed him and charged up to him.
“Excuse me, civilian. I see you have a lot of Pokédollars there. Do you know anything about the recent robbery just down the street?”
“Well… uh…”
“Wait! You’re a Ditto! Are you the nefarious and most wanted Ditto thief, who most nickname Morph Riffraff?”
“……….No!”
“Hmm… I need to check, so you’ll need to come with me to the police department.” The Arcanine bit the Ditto to flinch it, and dragged it away.
“That was my lucky break to strike it big… That Hitmonchan ruined it…” The Ditto thought, not willing to reveal his disguise as Morph Riffraff.
***
Hitmonchan managed to stop Throh from destroying his bike, and the scooter helped him speed up to him before they reached the lake. The angry Fighting type was giving the other one a pep talk while in the UU Circuit Locker Room. “Seriously, I may need to put a restraining order on my bike if you keep doing that.”
“But cycling is so dang fun! Enough of that, where do you want to eat tonight?”
“Why not Sudoplantation? It was where we first met, after all.”
“Sure!”
A certain Pokémon from nearby heard “Sudoplantation” and ran to the two faster than Roselia could. “Did someone say Sudoplantation?!”
“Hi, Chansey. Yeah, we did.”
“I LOVE that place! It’s in my top 20 favorite restaurants of all time! Mind if I tag along later?”
“Uh, well…”
“I’ll pay my part of the bill.”
“Sure!” Throh blurted out. Hitmonchan trusted his coach very well, but couldn’t help but think he was a bit greedy…
***
“Welcome to Sudoplantation.” A Linoone waiter greeted Hitmonchan, Throh, and Chansey as they entered the restaurant. “How big is your party today?”
“Party of three, please.”
“Right this way.” Once the three were directed to a booth and ordered drinks, a conversation began while they were peeking at the menu.
“So Hitmonchan, I heard you became the Under Used champ! I used to be at that level once, and met those in the Over Used Circuit.”
“Really? Do you know who is there?”
“Well, the first thing I noticed is that besides yourself, no one pays attention to you when you first enter. No one greets you, nothing. You have to make your own friends and enemies there.”
“It’s true!” Throh added his two cents to the conversation. “You need to earn their respect or be the one to ask.”
“Okay, so who did you actually see there?”
“Hmm… This was a long time ago, so the roster has definitely changed by now. There’s this enormous Gyarados- you can’t miss it! It takes every bit of your attention away!”
Hitmonchan gulped in worry; he had very bad memories with the Gyarados species. “Guh… Gyarados?”
“Hello there!” A waiter Simisage waltzed right up to the booth with their drinks. “I’m Simisage and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. What would you like to order?”
***
After ordering, the conversation continued. “What were we talking about? Oh yes, Gyarados. I think they had to enlarge the ring just to fit him in. He didn’t really talk to me; he always seemed to have other things in mind. Kadabra was below me at the time, and even Dewott was there for a bit. There was also this scary Rampardos…” Doc Throh jerked for a bit, looking rather worried.
“What’s wrong, Throh?”
“Uh… Nothing. Just really hungry! Go on!”
“Hee hee! I’m always like that when I’m hungry. I believe I saw Ludicolo in the OU Circuit as well, and when I asked, Lilligant said he was pretty high up! He must’ve gone on quite a losing streak to get back down to the UU Circuit.”
“Gee, how’d a handful of the Pokémon in the CPFA get to be in the OU Circuit? Who was there to stay in the RU and UU ones? ”
“I dunno. So then there was this guy who was super scary; he looked like he could give any baby Pokémon nightmares- Tyranitar.”
“Ah, I remember him from back in the day.” Doc Throh started reminiscing as his past days as a fighter. “I remember seeing him in the gym way before he actually became a fighter.”
“Ty… Tyranitar? Sounds more like a war general to me.”
“And then there’s Machamp… Oh… Super Macho Machamp… He’s just amazing.” Chansey seemed to drift off and daydream as she was speaking. “No matter what he’s doing, whether it’s speaking, fighting, or even walking, it seems like he’s always using Attract! In a feast built for a queen, Machamp would be the whole side of beef!” Hitmonchan and Throh turned to each other, both looking mildly disgusted, and turned back.
“Uh… Chansey? How old are you again?”
“37, why?”
Before Hitmonchan could respond, the Simisage waiter arrived with their meals. “Alright, who ordered the four Sudowoodo Specials with added Ketchup?”
Chansey raised her left, stubby arm. “That would be me. I think I’m going to evolve soon; I need all the food I can eat!”
Another fine chapter. I love the fight scnes but it's also nice to see our heroes do some training and also just chill. I still love the gag with Scraggy posting the videos online. Something tells me we will see Ditto again...
“What were we talking about? Oh yes, Gyarados. I think they had to enlarge the ring just to fit him in.
Ever forget the attributes of the fighters of the CPFA? Or are you new to this and want some spoilers? Look no further! This post will include all the information about the fighters in the CPFA seen so far. I will update this post every time Hitmonchan fights new Pokémon, not encounters them, and will be linked to the first post for easy access.
Moves: Fire Punch, Thunderpunch, Ice Punch, Bullet Punch
Special: Sky Uppercut, Dig, Close Combat
Doc Throh:
“Join the Nintendo Fun Club, today!”
Record: Retired, previously 95-26 (88 KO)
Height: 4’6
Weight: 222 lbs.
Age: 36
Nature(s): Sassy, Quirky, Relaxed
Moves: Stone Edge, Body Slam, Storm Throw, Payback
Special: Sky Uppercut, Dig
RU Tier#3: Glass Furret:
“Oh, you’re so going to fear the Glass Furret now!”
"Eh? Eh? I'll liberate you!"
Record: 3-99 (3 KO)
Height: 5’ 1’
Weight: 70 lbs
Age: 25
Nature(s): Timid
Moves: Scratch, Facade, Slash, Brick Break
Specials: Baton Pass and Taunt (Steps back and taunts the opponent, then steps back to attack.) (Hitting him as he centers instantly knocks him down.)
Baton Pass and Mega Punch (Steps back and taunts the opponent, then steps back to attack.) (Hitting him as he centers instantly knocks him down.)
RU Tier# 2: Boom Electabuzz:
“Err… Attention! I am the Electric Explosive Machine! My name is… Boom- Electabuzz! Kaboom! And you shall be defeated!”
"I SALUTE ELECTRICITY!"
Record: 11-34 (10 KO)
Height: 5’ 3
Weight: 80 lbs
Age: 38
Nature(s): Hardy
Moves: Thundershock, Low Kick
Special: Substitute (Hides behind a statue, then looks from behind it before attacking. Sky Uppercutting here knocks him down.)
RU Tier #1: Roselia Quick:
“Uh huh! Who’s the greenest Grass type in the CPFA? I am, that’s-”
Record: 7-20 (5 KO)
Height: 5’
Weight: 64 lbs
Age: 22
Nature(s): Quirky, Mild
Moves: Bullet Seed, Poison Sting
Special: Mega Drain (Brings her roses back, and then attaches them to the enemy, taking some of the opponent’s health and giving it to her.)
RU Tier Champion: Queen Chansey:
“Tee hee, I have my weakness, but I’m not going to tell you!”
Record: 27-17 (17 KO)
Height: 6’
Weight: 179 lbs
Age: 37
Nature(s): Quirky, Gentle, Relaxed
Moves: Double Edge, Ice Beam
Special: Seismic Toss (Grabs the opponent and throws him/her. Countering it does a lot of damage.)
UU Tier #4: Piston Dewott:
“If your head and your heart are at peace, even the heavy fire stays cool.”
Record: 36-8 (35 KO)
Height: 5’9’
Weight: 65 lbs
Age: 22
Nature(s): Quiet, Calm, Bold
Moves: Water Pulse, Razor Shell, Revenge
Special: Fury Cutter (Jumps a few times and lunges toward the opponent, attacking five times, the blows being stronger each hit. Countering it instantly knocks him down.)
UU Tier #3: Spy Toxicroak:
“Hitmonchan, I can tell you’re underestimating my skills… Well, those who have done so should’ve suited themselves…”
Record: 29-13 (24 KO)
Height: 5’3’
Weight: 98 lbs
Age: 31
Nature(s): Bashful, Careful
Moves: Mud Slap, Poison Jab, Brick Break
Special: Sludge Bomb (Steps back and charges poison, and blasts it at the enemy. Countering it instantly knocks him down.)
UU Tier #2: Big Emboar:
“Hey, hoser! Did you know that I eat my fish... raw?! Hah!”
Record: 25-10 (10 KO)
Height: 5’7’
Weight: 342 lbs
Age: 50
Nature(s): Jolly, Rash,
Moves: Arm Thrust, Hammer Arm
Special: Body Slam (Leans back and howls, and then slams his belly against the enemy. It can be countered, but it is hard to do.)
Moves: Confusion, Psybeam, Shadow Ball,
Special: Teleport, Side Change and Grass Knot (Teleports away and changes sides to indicate he’s going to dash, and then use Grass Knot. Countering it instantly knocks him down.)
Moves: Taunt, Zen Headbutt, Scald, Razor Leaf, Fury Swipes, Drain Punch
Special: Ice Punch (Steps back and aims his punches, and then attack. If dodged the way he aims, you can get a Star.)
OU Tier #5: Dare Weavile:
“I bet you’ve only got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya, Chan?! Ahahahaha!”
Record: 24-14 (24 KO)
Height: 4’ 4
Weight: 74.4 lbs
Age: 24
Nature(s): Hasty, Brave
Moves: Quick Attack, Metal Claw, Ice Punch
Special: Shadow Claw (Lunges back, charging his claws, and then leaps to attack. Blocking at the right time stops him.)
OU Tier #4: Thirst Gyarados:
“If you spell my species’ name backwards, you get sodarayG. Soda rayg. Soda ragy? Soda rage!” Record: 37-5 (30 KO)
Height: 21’
Weight: 318 lbs
Age: 28
Nature(s): Calm, Relaxed
Moves: Bite, Aqua Tail, Dragon Tail, Scald
Special: Dragon Drink and Thrash (Prepares to drink some lemonade Letting him drink recovers health. Hitting the can makes him use Thrash, hitting two to three times. Dodging makes him confused.)
OU Tier #3: Bald Rampardos:
“My Attack stat will murder!”
Record: 44-9 (44 KO)
Height: 6’3’
Weight: 222 lbs
Age: 35
Nature(s): Adamant, Impish
Moves: Pursuit, Assurance, Stone Edge, Headbutt
Special: Head Smash (Steps back and charges at the opponent with his head. It instantly knocks the enemy down, but countering it does it in reverse.)
OU Tier #2: Techno Metagross:
“I know how to beat you! I’ve analyzed your fighting patterns!”
Record: 45-20 (39 KO)
Height: 5’5’
Weight: 400 lbs
Age: 31
Nature(s): Quirky, Lonely
Moves: Bullet Punch, Hammer Arm, Zen Headbutt, Ancient Power
Special: Meteor Mash (Charges his leg, and then punches the enemy with great force. Countering it with a Dig works wonders.)
OU Tier #1: Super Macho Machamp:
“My Dynamic Punch is so cool, dude!”
Record: 48-2 (47 KO)
Height: 6’2
Weight: 276 lbs
Age: 29
Nature(s): Naughty, Relaxed
Moves: Karate Chop, Wake-Up Slap, Earthquake, Payback
Special: Dynamic Punch (Chants his name while posing, and then punches three times while spinning.)
OU Tier Champion: Champion of the CPFA: Master Tyranitar:
“Welcome to SANDLAND, Hitmonchan!”
Record: 50-0 (50 KO)
Height: 6’7
Weight: 413 lbs
Age: 40
Nature(s): Adamant, Serious
Moves: Pursuit, Rock Slide, Thunder Punch, Fire Punch
Special: Stone Edge (Steps back to prepare, molding three large rocks, and uses them to uppercut the opponent.)
Good stuff! I love seeing all of the fighter profiles. Thanks for putting that up! Are you going to add to these profiles as the story progresses and Little Hitmonchan faces new fighters?
This chapter is the longest yet, adding a ton of information about the CPFA. If there's any chapter you should read, it's this one. This chapter also includes the debut of another original fighter, not a reincarnation of a Punch-Out fighter like Toxicroak was. This one will be a lot more interesting, I promise. If you wonder I start to nickname Hitmonchan "Chan" here, because saying it in three syllables is a bit long for the tongue. Enjoy!
Chapter 21: The OU Locker Room and the Headmasters
Hitmonchan and Throh were with the Receptionist Clefable, updating their I.D. Card, allowing them to enter the OU Circuit Locker Room. Like last time, they could still visit the lower locker rooms whenever they wanted. Clefable put the card through a special machine once more, and the card came right back out, albeit in a different and shinier color.
“Your I.D. Card has been updated. Now it went from a nice navy blue color to a magnificently new coating combination of red and gold around it! Don’t they contrast so well together?”
“I… think so?.”
“Oh yes, and since you’ve gotten to the OU Circuit now, my boss wants to give a present to you! It’s a tradition that anyone who gets to the OU Circuit gets a bonus for their hard work. Follow me!” Clefable placed the “Out for Now” sign on her desk, and led the two Fighting types into a corridor. They then went up a spinal staircase, and the Normal type unlocked the door with a key. “They’re here, sir!”
“Ah, so you must be Little Hitmonchan! And Doc Throh! I haven’t seen you in years!” Hitmonchan heard the raspy voice and recognized it as a Weezing. He also noticed a Tentacruel right next to him.
“Hitmonchan, this is Senior Weezing, the headmaster of the whole CPFA!” Clefable introduced them. Hitmonchan was about to shake his hand, but then remembered that Weezing don’t have them… “That gal over there is Weezing’s wife, Tentacruel.”
“Pleased to meet ya!” Tentacruel seemed to have a bit of a southern dialect, but Hitmonchan didn’t really care.
“I have to congratulate you for making to the OU Circuit.” The Weezing started. “Throh was one of the best fighters we’ve had, and you being trained by him definitely brought you high up. But him along did not affect your power; you yourself worked hard to beat down your opponents.”
“From Glass Furret to Queen Chansey to Big Emboar to Don Ludicolo!” Tentacruel exclaimed while counting with her tentacles.
“For your hard work and dedication, I must condemn you.” Weezing gestured to an envelope on his desk. “Inside is 5, 000 Pokédollars. Do with it as you wish!” Hitmonchan’s eyes bulged at the sound of “5, 000.”
“Thank you!”
“You come back here anytime, now!” Tentacruel blurted out from behind Weezing as the three exited the office.
“So yeah, that was my boss!” Clefable joyfully added as they were leaving. “He may not look like it, but he is a very good fighter! He took down some Reuniclus, Torterra, and Pidgeot punks who tried to sue the CPFA all by himself!”
“Cool! What I don’t understand is… How can Weezing put the money in an envelope… if he doesn’t have any hands?”
“He could’ve used Psychic…” At the moment, a joke popped into Throh’s head. “Or maybe he had to have his wife do it! Ah hah hah haaa!” Hitmonchan and Clefable didn’t laugh in the slightest.
***
After Clefable was back at her post, he directed the two that the OU Locker Room was if they went in either direction, they would reach it. So as they went into the right hallway, they bumped into Ludicolo, who was looking cross.
“Hey Ludicolo! That was a good match yesterday-“
“I know, I know.” Ludicolo seemed perturbed to remember it. “I should’ve won that match; a lot was at stake!”
“The title of UU Circuit champ? I’m pretty sure once Hitmonchan-” Throh smacked his apprentice on the back, almost making him topple over. “-gets higher in the OU Circuit, and the easy ones from their come down, then you’ll get it-“
“No, even more was at stake than just the title!”
“Your sombrero? You’ve got it on right now!”
“Oh that was just nothing; I have thirty more at home.” Ludicolo reached into his sombrero and picked out a rose, but it seems that all of the petals were ripped off, and the rose seemed a bit droopy. “It’s Carmen… she dumped me! She says I was weighing too much for a Ludicolo, I was treating her badly, and I was being shallow… What does shallow mean, anyway?”
“Well I think it means-“
“No matter, I’m really bugged about it.”
“Well why don’t you just use that charm to attract one of the other females? Heck, why not find another Lilligant?”
“Inconceivable!Carmen is the sun to my moon, the petal to my rose, the ocean to my stream, the Gardevoir to my Gallade, the Flamethrower to my Ice Beam, the Rain Dance to my Swift Swim, the XX chromosome to my XY chromosome, and the sirenic cenacle to my middlemost defenestration!” Ludicolo stomped off, while thinking of what other similes he could compare Lilligant to.
After a minute of thinking of what Ludicolo was saying, Throh broke the mold. “By all accounts that last one makes no biological sense.” The Fighting types entered the OU Locker Room, and saw a majority of the Pokémon Chansey described the night before, plus Lilligant.
“Hi, Lilligant.”
“Hmm? Oh hey, Hitmonchan and Throh! Did you here the news from Ludi?
“Yeah, and he was spouting out useless nonsense…”
“Other Pokémon keep telling me that I’m lucky to have him… but in reality, he was the worst! He was selfish, always made me make him sandwiches, rarely let me ever speak with him, went out with several other gals anyway, and he didn’t even like Entrainment!”
Doc Throh pushed Hitmonchan out of the way. “You watch Entrainment?!”
“Heck yeah! It’s the best show ever! I’m an Eternallock Shipper!”
Throh gasped. “So am I! We need to be friends on Entrainee Forums!” The red Pokémon turned to Hitmonchan, who was slammed on the floor. “I like this girl! She has good taste in television shows!”
The Punching Pokémon struggled to get up. “Ugh… Don’t do that again. Anyhow, Lilligant, you know these guys right?” Lilligant silently nodded as a jumpy Pokémon rushed towards the group.
“Heyahowyou’redoing?I’mWeavileandI’mgonnafightyounextsogetreadytofeelthepain, ok,ok?!” The Pokémon who could only speak quickly hopped back to what he was doing.
“Woah woah, what the heck did he say? He really needs to space out his words.”
“That’s the first in the OU Circuit, Dare Weavile. He’s a bit hyper and is sometimes called a psychopath, but is well known for his death-defying stunts in other contests and is oddly attractive.”
Throh, being confused, interrupted. “I don’t think psychopath and attractive work well together in the same sentence.”
“Have you seen the amount of fan-art he has online? He just screams “six pack” and “facial hair” on it. None of it was done by me, of course.”
“Psychopath still makes me think he’s insane.”
“Go ahead, tempt the fangirls.”
“Fangirls?! Did someone say fangirls?!” A surfer-like voice exclaimed as a hulking Pokémon rushed over to the trio. “Where?! Where?! Oh hi Lilligant.”
“Hey Machamp. These are the new guys in the OU Circuit. Well, Hitmonchan is, you should know Throh.”
“It’s been a while, dude!” Machamp used one of his arms to shake Throh’s hand rather violently. “And you must be Chan!”
“Chan?”
“Yeah, Chan! The guys around here all watch those who’ve been having such a good streak as you are, and we’ve started callin’ ya Chan! I’m Super Macho Machamp, the strongest, handsomest, and most famous Pokémon in the universe!”
“Wow… That must be enjoyable.”
“Dang right it is! I’m the champ of this entire league right now, and I’m livin’ the good life! All I ask of you is to not steal the Macho’s glory and fanbase. Because as the internet says: if you mess with the Machamp, the Machamp messes with you.”
“That’s really the fan’s decisions …”
Machamp then brought out a cereal box with his face on it and grinned. “Oh, and drop by your local thrift store later on and remember to buy my trademarked cereal: Super MachO’s™! Releasing the bogus in every bite!” The teeth of Machamp twinkled and the next things he spoke were in a sped-up tone, as if it was the end of a commercial. “Comes in original and cinnamon flavors! Apple flavors is in the works.” The four armed Pokémon turned to Lilligant and spoke regularly again. “Heard about the break-up. Just saying if you ever need someone, just ask the Macho Man himself.”
“Who’s the Macho Man?”
“Uh…..” Machamp thought for a moment before realizing what he meant. “I-I meant the Macho Machamp! Yeah! What kinda loser is a Macho Man? Anyhow, see ya later, dudes!” Machamp put on some designer shades, and ran off.
“That’s the current champion, Super Macho Machamp. He’s got a giant ego, but hits amazingly hard. I think he’s weaker than he used to be though.”
“That’s good news.” Hitmonchan then saw a Pokémon pass that he didn’t want to see. “Oh gosh, it’s that Gyarados! I think he craves my blood…” He immediately hid and crouched behind Doc Throh.
“Thirst Gyarados? Hah, he wouldn’t even hurt a Joltik on purpose. He’s admittedly the calmest in the whole circuit! He’s super shy, and loves drinking soda and juice. See?” The Gyarados sharply used his mouth to open his locker, and sucked on a straw attached to a mega-large soda. “The only thing he craves is his favorite drinks.”
“Yeah… But Gyarados scare me… They sound just like that monster from that 50s monster movie…”
“If you want to see a real 50s monster, look over there.” Hitmonchan looked up, and saw a colossal Pokémon stomping to his locker. “That’s Master Tyranitar, and he’s a real monster. Don’t try to speak normal conversation with him yet; he’s only interested in the stronger fighters.”
A moment later, a very bulky Pokémon floated towards the three. “Hey Lilligant, word went out that Ludicolo broke up with you!”
“Yes, I don’t think it was hard to miss because it happened at this exact spot…”
“Well, can I tell you that if your beauty was a Light Screen, not even a Brick Break could break it! Want to go out sometime?”
“Heh heh, Metagross, you’re nice and all, but I need some time.”
“Oh, ok. Maybe later.” The Metagross floated away with Magnet Rise.
“He’s Techno Metagross, and he’s a super-genius geek dj guy. He always uses cheesy pick-up lines on me... Yet he’s like twice my age.”
“Ew! This circuit is creepy. How much more can it get?” At that point, Throh gasped and pointed.
“It’s you!” Throh was pointing to a Rampardos, who noticed and stomped up to them.
“…Doc Throh? Is that you?”
“It is, Bald Rampardos. I thought you quit, too!”
“Only for a bit, Throh. You stop and then get back into it.” Rampardos shifted his attention to Hitmonchan and Lilligant. “How are you, gentleman, and lady? All of his fanbase is now my fanbase. His popularity is on the way to destruction.”
Throh slammed his head into the door. “What are you saying?!”
“You have no chance to make a comeback, so make your time along the lower fighters. Ha ha ha…”
“But I’m not even fighting! I’m just the coach to Little Hitmonchan, here.”
“Oh really? Then ignore everything else then. I’ll still beat his sorry behind like I would to you!” Rampardos stomped away to his locker.
“He’s still here… that Rampardos has been my rival for as long as I remember. No matter what, in school he always one-upped me. He even followed me to the CPFA, but I became the champion- he hasn’t.” Throh looked ticked off.
Lilligant seemed interested. “Really? Sounds intriguing. Do we get a flashback to get to know more about you feuds with Rampardos?”
“Not right now, I need to hurry up and eat this chocolate bar before it melts. It’s been in my pocket for hours!” Throh opened his mouth wide and dropped a chocolate bar into it.
“Dang it! I love characterization moments and flashbacks…” Lilligant stepped forward so she could see both Pokémon. “…I think I’m going to stick with you guys; you’re cooler than Ludicolo plus you like Entrainment.”
“Entrainers Unite!” Throh and Lilligant executed a special, secret and somewhat complicated dance handshake thing that looked too complicated for Hitmonchan to understand.
“Whoa, they have secret handshakes? I gotta learn that!”
Lilligant moved and whispered into Throh’s ear. “He doesn’t know this yet?”
“He’s a noob to this- he’s only watched three episodes.”
As Hitmonchan entered the OU Stadium, he was amazed at how different it was compared to the UU and NU ones. It was at least ten times larger, had red everywhere mixed with gold, and even the machine that indicates what round it is was fancier. The crowd was multiplied by a very high number- Hitmonchan could barely hear anything. When he was in the ring, though, his opponent was late. To pass the time, he asked the referee a question.
“Hey ref, how do you be a referee to three different stadiums at once? All the referees in the CPFA at this moment are Raichu, so do you run to them?”
“We’re all in from the same family.” Raichu responded. “And we all do the same job. We don’t complain though because we get paid big time!”
VVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRR!!! It seemed Weavile arrived, and he was driving a crazy motorbike into the ring by going off of a ramp, and doing an entire 360 on it in what seemed to be slow motion. All of his fans took pictures of it with high shutter speeds, except for the poor ones who had to rely on their portables to take pictures, getting horrible shots. Weavile dropped out of his motorbike at the right time, landing without a scratch, and thanks to advanced gyroscopic technology, the motorbike landed on its wheels completely fine. Weavile screeched out a horrific battle cry.
“RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”
“… Hello to you too, Weavile.”
“Let’sgolet’sgolet’sgo!ComeonI’mreadyforanotherwin,Hitmonchandon’tkeepmewaiting!” Hitmonchan used the Battle Logger, except a mishap occurred.
“ERROR. Pokémon not identified. Please try scanning again”
“Darn! That Dark type can’t be ID’d! He’s jumping so much that it can’t get a good idea of who he is!” Hitmonchan snapped. “…Wait, only ghosts can’t be ID’d. It has to have him in the Battle Logger somewhere…” Hitmonchan held back and tampered with the Battle Logger for a bit, pressing and touching many features of it.
“Free speech mode activated. Dominance Mode activated. Coupon finding mode activated. Individual south of current location has five coupons pertaining to a lower payment of chocolate bars at a nearby thrift store.”
Doc Throh pulled out his coupons “Why didn’t I have that when I was a fighter? It would’ve been genius!”
“Color change mode activated. Fight playback mode activated. Stream of codon activated. Feeling test mode activated. Individual using my body, please stop smacking me randomly. You do realize that you do not have individual fingers and have boxing gloves, affirmative?”
“Come on… come on…” Hitmonchan was oblivious to the fact that the Battle Logger was speaking to him, at least until he touched a specific button.
“Database of CPFA Fighters mode activated.”
“Ah, finally!” Hitmonchan punched a few more buttons in (literally), dividing the fighters into circuits and then pressing Weavile’s photo.”
“Dare Weavile. #5 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 24 wins, 14 losses, 24 KOs. Height is 4’4’, weight is 74.4 lbs, and age is 24. Random fact: Dare Weavile has taken plastic surgery once to remove wrinkles.”
“Geez, I’m going to need a genius to figure out this thing. There’s clearly more than to this thing that meets the eye.”
“I am not an action figure. Please do not treat me as such.”
Weavile was stomping his foot while making furious sounds. “Canyougetonwithitalready?!I’vegotstufftodoafterwardsandit’ssuperimportantforme!”
***ROUND 1***
Unlike all the other fighters, Weavile did not stand still, and was hopping all over the place. Luckily, no matter where he sprung to, Hitmonchan had his opponent in sight. As the weasel went in for an Ice Punch, Hitmonchan dodged and hit him with a Fire Punch.
“Huff!” However, Weavile hopped back before the Fighting type could hit him again, and used a Revenge attack, hitting him! The Dark/Ice hybrid then bounced to another side and Quick Attacked with the Fighting type dodging, but once again Weavile was not stunned. Even after dodging a Revenge, he would just not get dizzy. This repeated two more times, until Hitmonchan decided to counter Weavile’s Metal Claw, getting a star for it, but a Sky Uppercut couldn’t be used easily due to how jumpy the opponent was.
The weasel suddenly paused in the fight. “Isthatit?!” Weavile snouted at his opponent, leaving an opportunity for him to get Fire Punched for a Star. He then attempted a Quick Attack, but was intercepted with a Thunderpunch, stunning him!
“Huh, so I can only stun you with a counter…” The Fighting type realized as he punched him a few times before… “Sky Uppercut!” The blow was tremendously powerful, due to Weavile being super weak to Fighting moves as well as his low defense.
“Whoa… oh…” Weavile struggled to recover from the damage, and tried to Ice Punch Hitmonchan before he fell, but completely flipped around, falling to the floor. “Ugh…”
“One…two…three…four…five…six…”
“Nyeh heh heh…” Weavile chuckled as he came back up, with a sly grin on his face. He then did something completely unexpected; jumping onto the opposite side of the ring, and started using Hone Claws. “Argh…argh…argh…ra!” After the third usage of the stat-boosting move, Weavile propelled himself towards Hitmonchan and slashing him with a Shadow Claw, doing quite a bit of damage.
The match went on with Weavile using and Ice Punch, which was countered, and the weasel was hit exactly six times. Afterwards the Dark/Ice type used a Quick Attack, which was also countered and was hit six times. As Weavile back flipped to Hone Claws, Hitmonchan thought it would be smart to try and block it. However, even with his guard up for a second, the Shadow Claw critically went through his defenses, knocking the protagonist down.
“Ahahahahhahaha-ha!” Weavile squatted to taunt and humiliate his opponent. He slowed down his speech so Hitmonchan could understand his taunts. “I bet you’ve only got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya, Chan?! Ahahahaha!”
“What the heck is a cheeseburger…” Raichu stopped to contemplate before remembering his job as a referee. “Oh right. One…two…three…four…” Hitmonchan used the ring’s bright yellow ropes to pull himself back up. “Fight!”
Weavile used Metal Claw right as Hitmonchan assumed his battling stance, though the attack was dodged but not fully countered. The hyperactive Pokémon flipped back onto the ropes to hone his claws until…
“Round over!”
***INTERMISSION***
“Fightin’s like breathin, Hitmonchan!” Weavile seemed a lot more calm after fighting, slowing down his speech. “It’s natural, needed to survive, and can’t be done in space!” As the scatterbrained Pokémon started tapping his foot, Hitmonchan noticed that he had two “coaches” with him- Doc Throh and Lilligant.
“Let’s go, Chan-baby!” Throh encouraged, with Hitmonchan not used to not being called his name.
“What? I’m no baby! And who said you could call me Chan?”
“I did! Now dance like a Beautifly, and bite like a Masquerain!”
Lilligant blinked twice. “Uh… isn’t the term “float like a Butterfree, and sting like a Beedrill”?
“Err….. Yeah! That too! Anyhow, just send this joker packing!”
“Okay then, as long as I get my chocolate first…” Throh tossed his apprentice a chocolate bar. “By the way… Lilligant, is it legal to have more than one person up as a coach?”
“This is the CPFA, Hitmonchan. There are no rules. I bet they would accept a naked Pokémon if they wanted.”
“But… Most Pokémon don’t wear clothes…” The Pokémon wearing a martial arts outfit noted, not even thinking about himself. Then he realized he was speaking to a leaf lady with a 1700’s dress and a fighter with a purple tunic. “… I at least think Slowking need clothes. Do you see them out on the streets at winter? They could use pants.”
***ROUND 2***
“WHY SO SERIOUS?!” Weavile spouted out for no apparent reason. He then started with his Ice Punch, which was countered and once again, was hit six times with Fire and Thunderpunches. Hitmonchan countered a Metal Claw with an Ice Punch, knocking him right in the gut as well as achieving a star. “Ho…” Weavile tried to hit his opponent as he fell but ended up doing a vertical flip instead onto the mat.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…” Weavile cautiously stepped back up to battle, and executed a Shadow Claw. Hitmonchan dodged but was not fast enough to retaliate from it. The energetic Pokémon then tried a Quick Attack, however the Fighting type had a plan up his sleeve.
“Sky Uppercut!” As Hitmonchan ducked, it avoided the Quick Attack, and left Weavile open for a second.
“Ah? Arooof!” The light Pokémon seemingly did a barrel roll in mid air, but landed right back on his feet. Even though getting hit with a strong, doubly super-effective, he was still willing to taunt his opponent. “Isthatit?!” Hitmonchan smacked him with a Bullet Punch for a star. Weavile did another Ice Punch, though the Fighting type hit him another six times, knocking him down on the sixth attack.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…” Raichu counted a bit less enthusiastically this time, as if he was getting bored at counting.
The Dark/Ice hybrid got up and started to Hone Claws. “Nyah hah hah… Argh…argh…argh…ra!” At the last possible moment, Hitmonchan forgot to dodge and blocked right as the claw hit him, somehow blocking it from hurting, as well as surprising Weavile. “Whoa…”
“Sky Uppercut!” The finishing blow knocked Weavile all the way to the opposite side of the ring, getting him tangled in the ropes.
“Fwoah… Ha…”
“Knock out! The winner is Little Hitmonchan!”
“Hah hah! Woo hoo!” Hitmonchan punched thin air multiple times in joy, excited that his first battle in the OU Circuit went out smoothly. “Yeah-hah!”
Throh gave his apprentice a thumbs up. “No pain, no gain, son! Even though you took a bit of a beating in the first half, you still came out on top!” He handed out 2400 Pokédollars, and the two then started at Lilligant.
“……….”
“……. What?”
“You’re supposed to tell me something encouraging or give me a bad pun like Throh would.” Hitmonchan explained.
Throh took offense to that. “Hey! My puns aren’t bad!”
“You’re right, they’re disastrous.” Lilligant added, and both her and Hitmonchan started chuckling.
Wow, it's been quiet here... No one's posted here but me for a while...
Anyhow, this chapter took several revisions, due to how I didn't know how exactly I would work with Weavile's back story. It all came to me one night though. Who do you think has a harsher past, Kadabra or Weavile? Anyhow, here's Chapter 23! It may be obvious where I got many of my ideas from...
Chapter 23: Cold and Unfavorable Events
“Argh! Stupid boxing gloves!” Hitmonchan was trying to enter the buttons on his Battle Logger to see what other things were on it, but because of his hands only being boxing gloves it usually punched in multiple ones at once. Throh and Lilligant were crossing their arms at him as they were going to the OU Locker Room.
“Y’know Chan, we have more precise fingers…”
“And though I don’t have fingers, my leaves can at least touch things more precisely than you can.”
“No, no… I can do it. It just takes a couple tries… There!” After fiddling with the Battle Logger for about five minutes, Hitmonchan finally got it to spout out his own bio.
“Little Hitmonchan. #5 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 10 wins, 1 loss, 10 KOs. Height is 4’7’, weight is 110.7 lbs, and age is 17. Random fact: Little Hitmonchan has spent eight Nuggets worth of money on CPFA merchandise in his lifetime.”
“How would it know that…”
Throh reached over to grab the Battle Logger. “Here, lemme at it! I wanna see if it still has my records!” Throh swiped it from his apprentice, and in exactly 15 seconds, the Battle Logger spoke.
“Doc Throh. Retired, however was #1 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 95 wins, 26 losses, 88 KOs Height is 4’6’, weight is 222 lbs, and age is 36. Random fact: Doc Throh has three brothers and three sisters.”
“Yep. Two younger Throh, an older one, an older Vileplume, an older Bellossom, and a younger Gloom.” The three opened the door to the OU Locker Room, and were surprised to see it set up for a birthday party!
“Aw… You guys shouldn’t have!” Lilligant chortled with glee. “But my birthday was a week ago!”
A Glalie floated up to them. “It was? Well good for you, but this is for my younger sister’s birthday.”
“Uh… ok. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
“I’m Glalie, Weavile’s older brother. This is a surprise party for our youngest sibling- Snorunt. She’s turning ten today.” Glalie spoke in a calm and well mannered tone, with a bit of an English accent in the mix.
“Ah. I have a younger Gothita as a sister, though she’s 12.”
“I’ve got a younger brother. He’s still a baby though.” Lilligant mentioned.
“Well, this plan was Weavile’s idea. He wanted to make the surprise party here instead of in my apartment with my wife.”
“You can actually understand what he’s saying?”
“Oh, you mean how hyperactive he is nowadays? That was from all of trouble we had when we were younger. He uses it as… what should I call it… a coping mechanism from being so mentally scarred.”
“Mentally scarred? Ooh! Tell me more! I love character development points like that!” Lilligant seemed oddly enthusiastic.
“Well…..” Glalie paused for a few moments, looking a bit nervous, until he finally spoke. “Ok. I don’t really like telling you about it, but the party isn’t until 3 o’clock, plus I heard you beat Weavile yesterday. I recommend you all get comfortable, because this is a long back story.”
“Yay! Flashbacks!” Hitmonchan and Throh turned to Lilligant, who was cheering like a little girl getting a collection of new dolls.
***
“Weavile, Snorunt and I were all orphaned at a young age. Our parents both fainted permanently due to terminal diseases.”
“Whoa whoa whoa!” Lilligant cut the entire the backstory short after just a few sentences. “Don’t you think that’s a little dark? Can’t you keep it rated PG? Children could be scarred by this!”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. It’s a tragic tale.” Interestingly, Glalie looked away and looked up. “This is the higher end of PG, but it’s not bloody, detailed, or breeding-filled enough to reach PG-13 yet. So if you’re scared of just a few Pokémon dying… I recommend you read someone else’s adventures. Maybe a book about a superhero running around in their undergarments…”
“…Who are you talking to?”
“Nothing, nothing. Now back to what I was saying.” Glalie cleared his throat. “A good Drifblim notified us of what happened, but instead of doing the smart thing to do by sending us to counseling, he sent us to an unpleasant orphanage, where we received an unpleasant stalker.”
“An Unfezant? I’ve heard they are very unpleasant.”
“No, no. Those things do make evil relatives, but probably for a story with princesses and fairy godmothers in it. This Pokémon was thirteen times evil than any fairy tale could ever concur.” Glalie paused for dramatic effect. “…Darkrai…
“Darkrai was a business man who went bankrupt, and stalked us only to inherit our family’s fortune. We’re a very rich family, and my mom gave us the code to our bank account in case of an emergency. The creepy thing is, when we inquired why he was following us, he acted like a complete lunatic sometimes. But under that act of a fool was a mastermind… His trick to obtain our wealth was to use his Dark Void and Bad Dreams combo to take over and control us in our sleep. I tricked him by secretly holding onto a Chesto Berry, waking me up. I revealed him as a criminal, making him flee.“
“You almost got brainwashed? Tell me more!” Lilligant squealed.
“The fights with Darkrai were plentiful. It would be more than enough to fill a book. Why, it could probably be enough to fill an entire series! Darkrai always persevered, coming back with disguises, and tried to frame us for crimes. Each time we escaped his plans, but only by a few scrapes, and as an aftermath other Pokémon and places were injured, if not completely destroyed.”
Throh raised his hand. “I have a question. If this has gone out for long enough that you’d think it would make numerous novels, why haven’t I heard of such a thing?”
“Have you heard of the Orre region? We grew up there, and all of the conflicts occurred in that location. Sinnoh is a few thousand miles far from Orre, so we moved and settled here. I guess the news were not popular enough to reach far overseas.”
“Oh. Ok.” Throh unwrapped a chocolate bar as the Glalie continued the anecdote.
“Anyhow, the last encounter we had with Darkrai was on a dark and stormy night, on a tossing and turning boat in the middle of the ocean… Darkrai summoned the legendary Kyogre, flooding a poor, innocent island that we were on. We managed to find a port however…”
***
Thunder roared and lightning cackled on the boat facing all of the harsh waves the ocean threw against it. The boat was drifting from a far away island to shore, though either way was a several thousand miles away. On the deck of the boat were Weavile, Glalie, and Snorunt, panting, but still in reasonable shape while fighting Darkrai. The Pitch-Black Pokémon was almost at full health, and didn’t seem to break a sweat.
“Your levels have increased since our last duel.” Darkrai spoke with a wheezy voice, but it got more louder as he kept speaking. “…But, you are still weak Pokémon, and cannot face a legendary such as me, even with all your measly powers combined. I am the most keen Pokémon the universe has ever documented.”
“You keep saying that… but it’s not true!” Weavile shouted as water dripped onto his face.
“With enough support, any Pokémon can take down another one!” Glalie roared.
“There is no strongest Pokémon in the universe!” Snorunt yelled while trying to look intimidating.
“Hmph.” Darkrai expressed his apathy for the three. “You can spout out as many meaningless morals as you want, but only one side will leave this boat! And that side is the side of nightmares!”
Darkrai accelerated towards the three about to use Pursuit on them. Snorunt used her Protect to shield as much of the group as she could. Behind the impenetrable wall, Weavile honed his claws. After the Protect’s effects faded, Glalie spouted out an Ice Beam. Darkrai shot out the same attack, with both clashing and exploding into ice particles. While the legendary was distracted, Weavile grasped onto him from behind and was about to punch him. Darkrai foresaw this move and shoots out a Shadow Ball toward the weasel. In an interesting turn of events, Weavile uses this to his advantage, taking the hit, but retaliated with the move Revenge.
“Your skills are not bad…” Darkrai muttered. “But not perfect! Once you three are dead, I shall continue to make the rich Pokémon orphans, scam them, and become the richest Pokémon in the world…”
“And you tell us that now?!”
“Since you’re going to die right now, I might as well!” Darkrai unleashed a devastating Dark Pulse towards the three, doing enough to knock Glalie and Snorunt out, but Weavile resisted it, and kept fighting. “FOCUS BLAST!” As Darkrai was charging, Weavile did not budge.
“Weavile, get out of the way!” Snorunt cried.
Weavile took a tiny glance to his brother and sister. “I know what I have to do, sisters! Focus…” Darkrai shot the focused blast of energy at full force, and in what seemed to be slow motion, Weavile ran up to Darkrai, screaming. “MAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”
“NOOOOOOOO!”
“YEEEEES!”
Right as the Focus Blast was about to connect with Weavile, the weasel did a marvelous 360 leap over the blast, with all the other Pokémon astonished, even Darkrai.
“PUNCH!!!” Weavile knocked Darkrai almost unconscious by unleashing a super powerful Focus Punch with all of his might. The blow sent Darkrai to the edge of the ship, and he was starting to lose his balance.
“This can’t be happening… A legendary CAN’T be beaten by normal Pokémon! Whoa… whoah… I still have one more attack! I don’t know if it’ll work but…” As Darkrai was about to plummet into the ocean, he blasted one more energy blast with one last yell. “HIDDEN POWER!” As the scream echoed through the skies, Darkrai drifted into the ocean, like a movie villain falling into an endless abyss.
The blast was aimed directly at Weavile, but… it went right through him.
“….. I guess it was Hidden Power Psychic.”
***
“…And that’s why Weavile acts like he does now.”
The four were all silent for a moment, until Throh broke said silence. “Whoa, man… That’s pretty dark. I think I was going to shed manly tears there for a moment.”
“Well, all of that is behind us now, it’s been years since that happened. But knowing a legendary Pokémon, Darkrai probably is alive, hunting us down. So if you happen to see a suspicious Darkrai around here, punch him in the face.”
“Got it.”
“I can’t really punch… my hands are leaves…” Lilligant whined.
“You know what I mean.” Glalie turned to the clock, and gasped. “Oh my, it’s already 3 o’clock! They should be here any minute now!” The floating Ice type turned to all the other fighters, who crept in as she was telling the story. “Get to your places!”
Outside the locker room, in the hallway, Weavile was leading Snorunt to the door.
“I’ve told all the other fighters about it.” Weavile noted. “A few of them might give you a happy birthday, but I don’t have guarantees- not all of them are nice. I’m just going in to grab something I forgot.”
“Well then why did you bring me along, big brother?”
Weavile turned to his sibling and smiled. “Because I wanted some company.” As he opened the door, Snorunt’s face perked up.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNORUNT!” The Pokémon exclaimed simultaneously.
“Thank you guys!” Snorunt started jumping joyfully. As everyone started to reach for the cake, Hitmonchan heard a voice that gave him chills.
“Hey, Hitmonchan!” The Fighting type turned and shrieked.
“Ack! Gyarados!”
“Just wanted to say “good luck” for our fight tomorrow!”
lol this chapter was funny (and yet sad and scary...and still funny) also sorry for not posting in a while but anyway dow to the R R and R.first is chapter....um 20 OK first I liked this chapter and did not see anything wrong.(sorry for skiping through these I want to get to the latest chapter) next is chapter 21. Funny and all but this was my favorite part
“Inconceivable! Carmen is the sun to my moon, the petal to my rose, the ocean to my stream, the Gardevoir to my Gallade, the Flamethrower to my Ice Beam, the Rain Dance to my Swift Swim, the XX chromosome to my XY chromosome, and the sirenic cenacle to my middlemost defenestration!” Ludicolo stomped off, while thinking of what other similes he could compare Lilligant to.
ok on to chapter 23. The Wevile in these chapters is funny and my favorite part was
Throh gave his apprentice a thumbs up. “No pain, no gain, son! Even though you took a bit of a beating in the first half, you still came out on top!” He handed out 2400 Pokédollars, and the two then started at Lilligant.
“……….”
“……. What?”
“You’re supposed to tell me something encouraging or give me a bad pun like Throh would.” Hitmonchan explained.
Throh took offense to that. “Hey! My puns aren’t bad!”
“You’re right, they’re disastrous.” Lilligant added, and both her and Hitmonchan started chuckling.
ha ha why don't you use your fingers...oh wait...u don't have any hahahahahahaha
Also I liked how in the last chapter Weviletalkedlikethis.
“
Whoa whoa whoa!” Lilligant cut the entire the backstory short after just a few sentences. “Don’t you think that’s a little dark? Can’t you keep it rated PG? Children could be scarred by this!”
Again sorry about not posting for a while although I am glad to see that this awsome fic is getting some attention although not as much as it deserves. But I even though I am not posting does not mean that I am ot reading..........(*fades away mysteriously*)(comes back for an instent) Bye for now ;009;
“Dang it! I love characterization moments and flashbacks…” Lilligant stepped forward so she could see both Pokémon. “…I think I’m going to stick with you guys; you’re cooler than Ludicolo plus you like Entrainment.”
Despite his actions, Ludicolo is actually very well educated. If he wasn't a fighter, he probably would've become a teacher. The XX and XY chromosomes are what determines if you are a boy or a girl. Yeah, that's right, I listen in Biology class.
I thought this part up way before I posted the prologue, and didn't really think about the rating. If it was higher I probably could've made it a lot more creepy if I wanted. Not to spoil much but Darkrai will make an appearance later on.
Tauros exist, as seen in Chapter 18. Miltank, I'm not sure.
A bit off topic, but I took a quick look at your Pirates/Pokemon crossover, ESPN. I’ve never seen any of their movies as a whole (I’ve seen parts), but I’m liking what I see so far.
Well, it's a new year now, at least over here, which is the perfect time for a new chapter! Also since it's a new year, I've also added a bit more to the opening prologue notes and a bit to my sig to hopefully attract more attention. I guess from here on out I'll put my responses to reviews in a separate spoiler and not in the Author's Notes.
I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, though comparing Gyarados to Soda Popinski is a bit challenging. Luckily, his tail is super useful.
I wish you all a happy New Year! The next chapter will be a big one, containing more info on not only Gyarados, but Hitmonchan as well! Be sure to look forward for that!
Chapter 24: Thirst Gyarados
“Why the long face?” Lilligant kindly asked as the three were in the hallway to the ring.
“I am really not looking forward to this fight…” Hitmonchan stammered nervously.
“Don’t be scared, dude!” Throh reassured. “A Gyarados is like a Wingull- zap em’ and you’ll be fine! Give the Gyarados a great serving of Thunderpunches!”
“I guess that seems smart… but this Wingull is over 20 ft. long and hits like a Golurk!”
“Actually…” The Battle Logger rudely interrupted the Pokémon. “When a Golurk and Gyarados’ stats are compared, a Golurk is a smidge weaker than a Gyarados in physical strength, statistically.”
“You’re not making it any better!” Hitmonchan screamed at the sentiment yet electronic device.
“Hey, you’re the one who should get your facts straight.”
When the Fighting type stepped onto the ring, his opponent was already there, but was doing something unusual. Gyarados was grasping a large can of soda with his teeth, and was chugging the whole can of soda down with just one gulp. He then used his tail to take the can out of his mouth, and slammed it against his skull, crushing it.
“Ha! Ahahahah ha!” As he was laughing, Hitmonchan used the time to let the Battle Logger scan him.
“Thirst Gyarados. #4 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 37 wins, 5 losses, 30 KOs. Height is 21’, weight is 318 lbs, and age is 28. Random fact: Thirst Gyarados often did community service at the Unova Retirement Home when he was younger.”
“Uh…” Hitmonchan stuttered, and then tried to intimidate the monster with his own words. “They call me Little Hitmonchan, and despite my name, I’m big enough to take down large… opponents.” He started sounding out strong but his voice got weaker as the sentence ended.
“Well, I’m Thirst Gyarados, but all the other fighters here call me SODA RAGE!”
“Wuh-why would they call you that? Because of the soda you drink?”
“Well for one thing, yeah. But if you spell my species’ name backwards, you get sodarayG. Soda rayg. Soda ragy? Soda rage! I’m afraid I’ll have to enrage myself until I demolish you!”
***ROUND 1***
Gyarados bit Hitmonchan in a flash using Bite, with the Fighting type not seeing it coming. The next Bite was dodged, and Hitmonchan pelted the aquatic monster with Thunderpunches, doing tons of damage. After a few more seconds though, Gyarados slammed his opponent with an Aqua Tail!
“Hurrrr Agh!” Gyarados used another tail attack on Hitmonchan a few seconds later… Dragon Tail! Hitmonchan seemed very weakened at this point, but still had enough determination to keep going, dodging and countering two Bite attacks in a row. He then got hit by an Aqua Tail, then dodged and countered the proceeding Dragon Tail. To his surprise however, he got hit with an Aqua Tail that was executed right after he finished countering!
“Where did that come from? You’re not giving me any tells to where your attacks are coming from! They just appear!”
“Well this is the OU Circuit, Hitmonchan! Get used to it!”
“Still… Weavile wasn’t that difficult once I learned his pattern, and at least gave me some time to move!”
Gyarados used another Bite attack, but the Fighting type dodged as quickly as he could, but was not fast enough to Thunderpunch him. The sea monster unleashed another chomping attack, however this attack was dodged at the right time and Hitmonchan Thunderpunched Gyarados as much as he could. The Water/Flying hybrid executed Aqua Tail and Dragon Tail, but both of these were dodged, and after countering, shockingly sent Gyarados at least three yards into the air until he plummeted to the earth.
“One…two…three…” As Raichu was counting, Gyarados used his tail to swipe a soda bottle from underneath his lengthy body, and held it over his mouth. A tiny droplet formed and fell out of the bottle and into Gyarados’ struggling mouth. As soon as the soda drop reached its toungue, Gyarados slammed his tail back down, propelling him back up with a powerful rage.
“RAAAAA!” Gyarados looked outraged, but did not use Outrage and instead Thrashed about toward Hitmonchan, hitting him once “Agh!” until he dodged the remaining two times. “Oof! What?!” The Fighting type countered as much as he could, but got hit by an Aqua Tail.
“Ow… This really is the Over Used Circuit…” Hitmonchan complained as he dodged a pair of incoming Bite attacks, and then the round ended.
“ROUND OVER!”
***INTERMISSION***
“You look pretty beat up. I think you should take a drink, Hitmonchan.” Gyarados noted as he curled up, allowing himself to fit into the edge of the ring.
“Come on, Chan-“
“Why do you call me that?”
“It’s contagious!” Throh contemplated a joke for a moment, then snapped his fingers. “Now how about we make a new kinda drink recipe! I’ll call it… Doc Slam. Step one, chill a Gyarados by hitting it with a maximum power Sky Uppercut. Watch its tears fizz out of its eyes for about ten seconds, and then grab a mug. Its tears will eventually start spewing out a sweet sensational soda. That’s how you make Doc Slam.“
Lilligant giggled. “That sounds like a cool soda! Though the recipe sounds a bit profound and bland. Now why don’t you hear it from a real cook who’s been in the kitchen a ton?”
“Yeah, why not? It’s not like we have all day.” Hitmonchan sarcastically responded as he crossed his arms.
“Now find a Gyarados and make sure it is completely flattened out. To do so, you must completely shock it in every way possible. After doing so, that’s when you…“ Lilligant’s leaf curled as a hand would make fist, as well as changing her tone of voice to a more violent one. “…grab it by the neck! Once you’ve got Gyarados, slam him into a hole about three yards high, three yards wide, constantly trying to push it into there! After about doing it for a minute, remove the Gyarados and shake it as much as you can, until it throws up the best-tasting soda ever! This can be repeated up to three times a day until the Gyarados faints from lack of liquid. And that’s how you make Lilligant’s Spice Soda!”
Both Fighting types were dumbfounded at how violent Lilligant sounded. “That recipe makes my recipe look like carbonated water.” Throh replied.
***ROUND 2***
“Ah…” Gyarados popped open a soda can, and started gulping down its contents. “Ah-huh huh huh…” The soda actually replenished some of the sea monster’s health, which Hitmonchan didn’t know. Gyarados attempted a Bite attack, but missed and got Thunderpunched instead. However, he intercepted with another Bite, knocking Hitmonchan down. The sea monster then proceeded to constantly chortle at him. “Ah hah hah ha hah! Yah, hah hah hah!”
“One…two…three…four…” Hitmonchan propelled himself back onto the ring with the ropes.
“That knockdown was on me, I let you hit me there.” Hitmonchan scoffed.
Gyarados was not amused, and instead bit him right as he recovered, then started laughing. “Pfft, yeah right. Aha, hah hah-“ Hitmonchan used that opportunity to Thunderpunch him for a Star.
“SKY UPPERCUT!”
“Oh, don’t hit me!” Gyarados shrieked, and used his tail to cover his eyes. The blow hit hard, but not effectively, merely making the monster move back. “Augh… Hooo…” Gyarados then enraged himself and attacked with Thrash. “RAAA!” This time, Hitmonchan dodged the moves three times, leaving Gyarados stunned at the end. “Hoo! Oof! What the heck? You dodged?”
“Yeah, Pokémon can sort of do that.” Hitmonchan sarcastically remarked as he Thunderpunched his opponent. Gyarados floated diagonally away from the Fighting type’s view and brought out a can of soda with his tail.
“This is for my health!” Gyarados shook the soda can, popped it open, and took a few swigs of it. “Hah hah!”
“Where do you get those cans of soda, anyway?”
“Even I don’t know sometimes…” Gyarados executed his Bite and Aqua Tail attack, hitting with Aqua Tail but missing with Bite. Interestingly, the Water/Flying type then used a new attack, by moving to the right and gurgling something in his mouth for a quick moment. Gyarados then spat it out at right at Hitmonchan’s face, getting a big reaction out of him.
“Yeowch! What kind of attack is spitting out a loogie at me?!”
“That wasn’t saliva mixed with dust, Hitmonchan, that was boiling water!” Throh called out from the corner.
“In other words… Scald!” Gyarados spouted as he charged up another Scald attack, but Hitmonchan dodged and countered accordingly, knocking him down on the last hit.
“One..two…three…four…” Like the time before, Gyarados reached under his enormous body and pulled out some soda, letting it drip into his mouth. Once his tongue felt a drop, he flung right back up and attacked.
“RAAA!” Gyarados used his Thrash move once more, but instead of hitting three times, he hit four times, smashing Hitmonchan to the ring floor on the fourth hit.
“Wow, that was fast. I mean, one…two…three…four…five…” Hitmonchan was on his last legs of support, but so was Gyarados. The Water/Flying type missed with a Bite attack but hit the Fighting type with an out-of-the-blue Dragon Tail. Gyarados then brought out one more can of soda for the match.
“For my-”
“No, for MY health!” Hitmonchan Fire Punched the soda can into the audience where it bonked a Grovyle on the head.
“Hey! What are you teaching kids about littering? Nothing! That’s what! You’re going to have a bunch of kids grow up to look like THAT in the future!” Grovyle shook the can in anger as he pointed to Doc Throh.
“Oh, sure. Always blame the fat-looking one.” Throh sighed.
Back on the ring, Gyarados gasped when he found that his soda was gone. Hitmonchan however, got a Star for the hit. “My soda!” Gyarados moved in to use Thrash, but Hitmonchan crouched down to use Sky Uppercut.
Both moves seemed to collide at the same time, but Thrash overpowered the uppercut quicker, and continued attacking, until Hitmonchan lost all of his stamina. “Ugh… Hooo…” The beaten Fighting type was knocked to the ring’s edge, and the force of the ropes knocked him onto the ring’s floor. “Uck.”
“TKO! The winner is Thirst Gyarados!”
“No! Hitmonchan!” Throh and Lilligant simultaneously shouted. Gyarados, however, was bouncing around in joy, while doing a foreign dance.
“Kan-to! Kan-to! Yah ta-ta-ta taaa cha cha cha! Yah ta-ta-ta taaa! Cha cha cha, oh ho ho ho ho, hey! Kan-to! Kan-to! Yah ta-ta-ta taaa cha cha cha! Yah ta-ta-ta taaa cha cha cha, oh ho ho ho ho hey!”
Throh and Lilligant dragged the fallen Fighting type off of the ring. “We’ll get him next time, Chan. Every road to victory has its ups and downs.”
“Actually…” The Battle Logger rudely interrupted the Pokémon. “When a Golurk and Gyarados’ stats are compared, a Golurk is a smidge weaker than a Gyarados in physical strength, statistically.”
“You’re not making it any better!” Hitmonchan screamed at the sentiment yet electronic device.
“Hey, you’re the one who should get your facts straight.”
“Well for one thing, yeah. But if you spell my species’ name backwards, you get sodarayG. Soda rayg. Soda ragy? Soda rage! I’m afraid I’ll have to enrage myself until I demolish you!”
“Now find a Gyarados and make sure it is completely flattened out. To do so, you must completely shock it in every way possible. After doing so, that’s when you…“ Lilligant’s leaf curled as a hand would make fist, as well as changing her tone of voice to a more violent one. “…grab it by the neck! Once you’ve got Gyarados, slam him into a hole about three yards high, three yards wide, constantly trying to push it into there! After about doing it for a minute, remove the Gyarados and shake it as much as you can, until it throws up the best-tasting soda ever! This can be repeated up to three times a day until the Gyarados faints from lack of liquid. And that’s how you make Lilligant’s Spice Soda!”
Aw, dangit! I'm sure Chan will be better next fight. Like they say: You learn more from a loss than a win.
I enjoyed your Gyarados character and the way you based it off of Soda Popinski. Very clever. Also liked the fight scenes as well as Throh's funny commentary. Nice work.
A bit off topic, but I took a quick look at your Pirates/Pokemon crossover, ESPN. I’ve never seen any of their movies as a whole (I’ve seen parts), but I’m liking what I see so far.
This chapter was fun to write up, even if it did take a while.
The incident with Hitmonchan was similar to an event that happened with me when I was younger.
If anyone wonders, "warp evolution" is sort of from Digimon I guess, since it skips evolution stages. I doubt I'll incorporate it in the future, plus it could've been made up by the commercial makers. Anyhow, enjoy!
Chapter 25: Flashback Frenzy
“…And that’s why I thought Drifblim and Jumpluff looked like a nice shipping couple last night!” Hitmonchan was explaining his stance on his favorite Entrainment shipping couple to Throh and Lilligant.
“Just because they smiled at each other doesn’t mean they deserve to be an official couple!” Throh defended. “Besides, I thought I told you Drifblim and Swellow are better together!”
“I’d honestly have Jumpluff with Victreebel.” Lilligant added.
“But they didn’t even see each other in the episodes I’ve seen!”
“Watch the movie.” Throh and Lilligant creepily and simultaneously said. The three stepped into the OU Locker Room, and nearly all of the Over Used fighters were inside. Metagross was the first one to come up to them.
“Hey Lilligant, do you have the ability Drought?”
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s Own Tempo.”
“Well no matter where you go, you always seem to be making sun come from above! Heh heh heh!”
Lilligant sighed. “We’re inside, Meta. If you’re trying to make pick-up lines, at least make them logical.” Metagross levitated away, disappointed that the Grass type didn’t laugh. As he went past Gyarados, said Pokémon greeted the trio.
“Hi Hitmonchan.”
“Ack! It’s you!” Hitmonchan shrieked.
“Just wanted to tell you “No hard feelings”! You punched hard yesterday!”
The Fighting type was crouching behind his Fighting typed trainer. “I’m not scared… I’m not scared…”
“Uh? Is this his first loss or something?” Gyarados scratched his skull with his tail.
“No, he lost to Kadabra before. Not sure why he’s freaking out.”
“The Gyarados line reminds of me that day…” Hitmonchan muttered. “I remember it horridly like it was yesterday… It was almost a decade ago… at Clefairyland…”
“Yay! Flashback!” Lilligant squealed.
******
“Weee! Yahoo!” Hitmonchan as a Tyrogue was bouncing on an inflatable jump house with several other baby-staged Pokémon.
“That’s enough, Tyrogue!” Hitmonchan’s mother, a Gothitelle holding an Egg on a stroller, called to her son. “We need to go get your father off from the Clefairy Coaster!”
“Come on, mom! Just five more minutes?”
Gothitelle turned her back. “I’m leaving right now!”
“Okay! Okay!” Tyrogue skipped off and out of the jump house. On the middle of the pathway, he found a few Pokédollars. “Score!” As he reached down to pick them up, a shadow overlooked him. When Tyrogue looked up, he saw a Gyarados staring right in his face. “AAAAAAHHH!!!”
“AAAAAHHH!!!” The Gyarados was really an Ambipom in a Gyarados costume, but Tyrogue didn’t know that at the time. The Ambipom in a costume was going to change out of it, but Tyrogue was in the way. Both Pokémon ran away from each other- one in terror, the other from the screaming in terror.
“Mommy! Mommy!” A weeping Tyrogue grabbed his mother’s dress to get her attention. “A scary monster scared me!”
“Monster?!” Gothitelle put her hands on her hips. “What monster scared you? I’ll show it a piece of my mind for messing with my baby!.”
“It was long… and blue… And looked like it could’ve eaten me!”
“A Huntail? A Feraligatr? A Garchomp? It surely couldn’t have been that Ambipom dressed up as a Gyarados that just passed by…
“Yes! That Gear-uh-dose!” Tyrogue started sobbing and squeezed his mother tight. “Mommy… I wanna go home…”
******
“I had nightmares with Gyarados for weeks…”
“Oh.” Gyarados frowned. “I’m really sorry for what happened to you… Not all Gyarados are-“
“YOU WENT TO CLEFAIRYLAND?!” Throh loudly interrupted. “I’ve never been able to go there before! What was it like?”
“Considering my experience, it was the worst place on Earth. Plus, everything was horrendously overpriced.”
“…Back to what I was saying, not all Gyarados are mad at everything. I’m pretty tame compared to the wild ones.” Gyarados popped open a soda with his tail and drank its contents.
“Tell me, Gyarados, what makes you like soda so much?”
“Ah, you want to know that story? … Hold on, a big one’s coming up.” Gyarados shut his mouth for a moment, and belched at an extreme volume. “BBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPP!” Gyarados then called to Metagross, who was across the room. “How’s that, Meta?”
“Pretty big! Still didn’t top your last one, but pretty high up there!”
“Anyway, it all started when I was a wee Magikarp… You know how Magikarp were treated back then…”
“Yay! More flashbacks!”
******
“Oof!”
“Hand over your money, dork!” A Basculin, Spheal, and Qwilfish were cornering Gyarados as a Magikarp into a corner.
“No! This is my lunch money! Why do you always pick on me?”
“Because you’re the weakest in the school! Even Sunkern is stronger than you! Now give it to us!” The red-striped Basculin Tackled Magikarp into the wall, making him drop all of his Pokédollars. “Score! Now we can get us our own lunches!” Basculin, Spheal, and Qwilfish turned to leave.
“Oh? So your parents don’t give you lunch money?”
“My parents?” Basculin turned around. “My parents are in jail!”
“My parents are in therapy and counseling!” Qwilfish spouted.
“My parents are completely fine!” Spheal announced with a grin. Basculin turned to his circular friend.
“Shaddup, Spheal!”
“But… they are…” The three Pokémon rushed to the lunchroom while Magikarp was left by the wall. He continued his school day normally, and bounced as fast as he could to home.
“Mommy! Some bullies picked on me again!”
“That’s nice, sweetie.” Magikarp’s mother, a busy Seaking on the phone, didn’t actually here what his son was saying. “…Oh sorry, that was my son.”
“Please! Give me fighting lessons!”
“Your father will talk about it once he gets home from his CPFA match, ok?”
Magikarp sighed, and bounced onto the couch and turned on the TV via remote. He flipped through the channels, skipping peanut commercials, educational shows, and Entrainment, until he found a commercial that peeked his interest. “Do you want to be strong?”
“Yes! I want to be strong!”
“Well if you want to be strong, try Combee-Cola’s newest brand of soda: Strength Soda!” An advertising Rhydon held up a soda can with a blue-lining that had “Strength Soda” printed on it. “Just one can of Strength Soda, containing a luxurious lemon-line flavor, can turn you from this…” Rhydon moved to show a Deino, looking weak and defenseless. “…to THIS!” A Strength Soda with a straw in it fell to the Deino, and the Dragon/Dark type drank out of it. Suddenly, the Deino turned into a Hydreigon! A pair of Dragonair suddenly slithered over to him and started rubbing their heads against him.
“Wow! I evolved! Thanks, Strength Soda!” The new Hydreigon announced. In small white text in the bottom of the screen, there was a note that read “Warp evolution is only shown for dramatization. Pokémon of the opposite gender not guaranteed to swarm toward you.”
“Try Combee-Cola’s new Strength Soda, today!” The Rhydon held Strength Soda to the camera. The advertisement ended and skipped to a movie advertisement featuring an Aerodactyl and Gardevoir, but Magikarp turned the TV off at that point.
“I gotta get that Strength Soda!” Magikarp splashed around in hope. The next day, Magikarp left early from his house to his nearest thrift store and purchased a large bottle of Strength Soda. The Grumpig stared at Magikarp from over the counter.
“Aren’t you a little young to be purchasing a Strength Soda this big?”
“Yes, yes I am.”
Grumpig paused for a moment and suddenly smiled. “That’s great! It’s nice to see Pokémon liking soda at very young ages. It means more sales for us!” The Magikarp paid the Psychic type, and placed the soda in his sack, and the fish bounced to his school.
Several hours of counting berries in math, and learning about the great Chimecho Columbus, it was lunch time. As Magikarp was speaking with a Seedot, the Basculin that tackled Magikarp yesterday tackled him again.
“Hey!”
“Where’s my lunch money, dork? Or do I need to Tackle you again?” Basculin threatened as Spheal and Qwilfish moved to the sides of him.
“You won’t have to tackle me anymore, Basculin!” Magikarp yelled. Seedot was surprised.
“Magikarp, no! You’ll get beat up by them! Even if I helped, we’d still get beat up!” Seedot whispered.
“Don’t worry… Stand back. I’ve got this!” Magikarp pulled out a Strength Soda from his sack and showed it to the world.
“Soda? What will you do with that? Are you going to throw it at me?”
“I’m going to take a soda… and drink it!” Magikarp dramatically announced.
“No, Magikarp! Don’t be a hero! You’ll make a fool of yourself!”
Magikarp didn’t listen, and slowly popped over the cover of the Strength Soda. He opened his mouth, held the can to his lips, and looked up. The lemony-lime liquid dropped into his stomach. Spicing up Magikarp’s taste buds. He removed the can from his lips, and… nothing happened. All was silence, until the three bullies laughed at Magikarp’s demise.
“Hah hah hah hah hah! Did you really think soda can stop me? The masculine Basculin?”
“Maybe next time you should go get a vegetable to power you up instead of sweets!” Qwilfish taunted.
“Like corn! Not sweets! Maybe sweet corn! Candy corn?” Spheal started daydreaming. “Mmm… candy corn…”
Basculin turned to his round bodyguard and screamed at him. “Shaddup, Spheal!”
“Uh… Magikarp? Why are you glowing?” Seedot asked, as Magikarp was indeed glowing. The fish started lengthening to nearly five times its length, its color starter morphing from red to blue, and its jaw grew larger and sharper. The monster started to grow spiky fins out of its body, and a crest grew out from his forehead. Once Magikarp had evolved into Gyarados, he let out a tremendous roar.
“GYAAAAA!”
“Muh-muh-muh… MOMMY!” The Basculin dashed away at amazing speeds. The Qwilfish followed soon afterwards. The Spheal was staring at Gyarados in awe with its jaw open.
“Shut… up…” Spheal slowly rolled away, backwards.
“GYAAAAA!”
“Muh… Magikarp… You’re scary now… Don’t hurt me!” Seedot started crying and ran. Gyarados was unsure of what to do, since he could not even enter his school to alert anyone, and waited until his parents came to see him.
******
“And that’s why every day since then, I’ve been drinking Strength Soda.” Gyarados popped open yet another can of soda and gulped its contents down.
“Your dentist must be a very rich guy! Ah hah hah!” Throh spouted out, and Gyarados started laughing as well.
“Hah hah hah! Laughter is the best medicine!” Gyarados turned to Hitmonchan. “Well, I wish you good luck on our rematch tomorrow?”
“Rematch? Oh yeah, I forgot I scheduled a rematch. Tomorrow however, I’ll surely be oblivious to your intimidation!”
******
The next day, Hitmonchan was being carried by Lilligant to the ring, trembling and holding onto her like a terrified dog to his owner. “I don’t wanna fight Gyarados… I’ll die!”
“Could you get off of me? You’re awfully heavy…” Lilligant groaned. “Granted, you’re not as heavy as Ludicolo was, you’re a Cubone compared to that Snorlax…”
“I had nightmares about Gyarados beating me last night… He drowned me in soda and then used Guillotine on me.”
“Gyarados can’t learn Guillotine, Chan.” Throh commented. “Come on, you’ve got the advantage with that Thunderpunch of yours. You’ll be fine!”
“Ok… But if I have nightmares of Gyarados using Fissure on me… I’m going to raid a certain Pokémon’s chocolate supply…”
“Hah hah hah- wait you know about that?” Before Hitmonchan could respond, he jumped onto the ring, with Gyarados gulping down some soda.
“Ready, Hitmonchan? I feel all fizzed up today!”
“Let’s just get this over with…”
***ROUND 1***
Gyarados immediately started with two Bite attacks, but Hitmonchan countered each of them for stars, and unleashed a level two Sky Uppercut.
“SKY UPPERCUT!”
“Agh… Hrgh… RAAA!” Gyarados enraged himself, and started Thrashing at the Fighting type. Hitmonchan successfully dodged three Thrash attacks, leaving Gyarados stunned. “What?!” The Water/Flying type was pelted with his Electricity weakness. Gyarados attempted to use an Aqua and Dragon Tail, but both missed, and on the last Thunderpunch, Hitmonchan knocked his opponent onto the ground.
“Dang, that was fast! You go, Chan!” Throh called out to his apprentice.
“Either he’s getting stronger or he’s really not that scared of him anymore. Or both. Keep on, Hitmonchan!” Lilligant added. Raichu was already counting while they were encouraging the Fighting type, and Gyarados already reached for his Strength Soda and drank a drop out of it.
“RAAA!” Gyarados Thrashed towards Hitmonchan four times, but he missed each and every time and got Thunderpunched back as a result. He did hit the Fighting type with one Scald, but the incoming one was dodged and countered. As a taunt, Gyarados brought out a Strength Soda. “Let’s drink to my health!” Hitmonchan didn’t want to however and Fire Punched the soda away for a Star. “My soda!” As the monster was about to use Thrash, Hitmonchan carefully dodged each Thrash attack and countered, finishing off with his special move.
“SKY UPPERCUT!”
“Oh, don’t hit me-“ It was too late for Hitmonchan to reconsider as Gyarados was knocked several feet into the air and onto the ring.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…” Once Gyarados was back into his fighting stance after a quick soda drink, he was very enraged. “RAAAAA!” The Water/Flying type Thrashed three times, failing to damage the Fighting type each time, and was smacked down with several Thunderpunches. Gyarados tried to Bite a few more times, but his second Bite was his last as Hitmonchan knocked him out with one final Thunderpunch combo.
“Hurr…” Gyarados straightened up, turned around, and fell straight to the ring floor, like a soda bottle tipped over. He reached for a Strength Soda that a fan threw at him, but couldn’t reach it. “Agh… Ugh…”
“TKO! The winner is Little Hitmonchan!”
“Hah hah! Woo hoo! Yeah-hah!” The Fighting type did his typical victory dance as the crowd howled for his nearly-flawless victory after his previous defeat. He then left the ring to see Throh and Lilligant, with Throh holding 3000 Pokédollars in his hand.
“Mmm…mmm….mmm! Go out there and get us another win, son! Then we can have a victory sandwich to go with that crumpled up soda can! Aha hah hah!” Throh joked as he gestured to the weakened Gyarados in the distance. “…And now I’m starving! Now who wants to go get a pizza?”
“I thought you were eating chocolate bars the whole match!” Lilligant smirked at the joking Pokémon.
“Oh, so you don’t want a pizza then?”
Lilligant quickly denied her statement. “No no, nothing wrong with a pizza! In fact, I was getting hungry myself!”
Awesome chapter! I, like Lilligant, enjoyed the flashbacks. It was cool to see the nice, less intimidating side of Gyarados.
Hitmonchan's Clefairyland flashback was hilarious. I can relate to you and him as well because I never liked people in costumes. I would go to amusements parks as a kid and steer clear of them! lol
The fight was good as always. I can always expect you to deliver good action scenes, funny one-liners, and of course Throh being goofy (but also intelligent).
Hitmonchan's Clefairyland flashback was hilarious. I can relate to you and him as well because I never liked people in costumes. I would go to amusements parks as a kid and steer clear of them! lol
I always had nightmares that they would run up to me, pick me up, spin around, and hurl me away, Mario 64-style. Good to know I wasn't the only kid like that!
I can always expect you to deliver good action scenes, funny one-liners, and of course Throh being goofy (but also intelligent).
If you're loving Throh right now, just you wait- something very Throh-related is coming up in the next few chapters. I actually planned to put this chapter up a bit earlier but I had some drama stuff to do.
...And like the last chapter, this one was also fun to write. It seems I have the most fun writing non-fight chapters. Still, if the whole story was about what was outside fights, what action would there be?
Mentions of Hitmonchan's family make a return, but some of Lilligant's as well. Has anyone caught Hitmonchan's ringtone yet?
Also a lot more quirks about the mysterious hit-TV show Entrainment! Maybe as a bonus chapter I should show an entire episode of Entrainment. Anyhow, enjoy!
Chapter 26: A Lil’ Evolution
“…And then there’s the dance episode, which clearly shows those two as a couple! How can you deny that they aren’t a couple?” Throh yelled at Hitmonchan, as they were debating about Entrainment inside the OU Locker Room.
“Well, let’s make an assumption here.”
“That’ll lead to a contradiction?” Lilligant smirked, defending Throh’s statement.
“No! Let’s assume Bisharp and Victreebel have never met each other. Since that episode was technically postponed, we’ll not count the meeting episode in the canon. In the episode before that, Victreebel said he was better off with Pidgeot!”
“Hmm… I guess that is true. Well, I guess…”
“OBJECTION!” Lilligant sharply pointed her leaf arm toward Hitmonchan. “It’s true that Victreebel did consider, but remember what Pidgeot said three episodes earlier? She said, and I quote…” Lilligant pulled up a website filled with Entrainment quotes on her phone, and read it. “Who cares about Poison types? Rock types are the way to go! That quote justifies that Pidgeot would not be a good match! Also, Victreebel was being sarcastic! In the Christmas episode of that year, Victreebel was clearly holding Bisharp’s arm! And she was really liking it! So I contradict your assumption!”
“Uh…” Hitmonchan’s sweat glands started opening, having no other way to counter the statement. “… Ok fine, you win. I still have a long way to go to become an amazing Entrainment watcher like you two are.”
“Yeah-hah!” Throh and Lilligant high-fived each other. “I knew the dance episode had something to do with it!”
“Yeah the dance episode- dance?” Lilligant paused, and was reminded of something urgent. “Omigosh! I just remembered I have my dance competition in a few days! My students and I haven’t practiced hard enough!”
“You do dancing?”
“Well, yeah. It’s sort of a stereotype, but whatever works in the industry these days-“
DOO DOO DOO DOOOOO!!!
“Woah, that’s the item get theme from that swordfighting game!”
Hitmonchan brought out his cell phone, and recognized the face on the screen as his father’s. He then held the phone to his ear. “Hey dad!”
“Hitmonchan! Guess what happened?” Hitmontop sounded a bit excited.
“Uh… You won at the Lottery Corner at the Department Store?”
“… Well actually yes, we got a 3rd place Elixir for that. But besides that, listen to this!” The phone was silent for a few seconds, until the voice was replaced by Hitmonchan’s younger sister.
“Hitmonchan! I evolved from Gothita to Gothorita!”
“Really? Awesome! So what can you do now?”
“I feel taller. And my hair is heavier, too… My hands can almost grab things if it wasn’t for my hair… I’m still not as pretty as mom is though.”
“You will eventually, sis. You will eventually.”
“So when are you going to teach me to beat up Drowzee? I think he’s going to evolve soon, too. I wanna learn Fire Punch!”
“Uh… Well…” Hitmonchan was shocked she still remembered, and made something up in the spot. “I think you should learn to use your arms first. In order to punch you need to have strong arm movements, got it?”
“Got it, big brother! Keep beating up strong Pokémon for me! Bye-bye!” The phone call ended, and Throh and Lilligant were listening to the whole thing.
“Your younger sister sounds cute.” Lilligant complimented. “I wish I had a younger sister, I have an older one though…”
“I’ve got a younger sis too, and-“ Throh turned his head and frowned. “Oh great, it’s you.”
“Hey, Doc!” Rampardos stomped over to the trio. “And… those other two guys.”
“I’m Hitmonchan! And she’s Lilligant.”
“Yeah yeah. Let me tell ya something, Doc Throh, I’m totally going to destroy your apprentice tomorrow!”
“Oh yeah?!” Throh stared Rampardos right in the eyes. “Well that’s not gonna happen, Rampy! I taught him everything I know, and he’s exceeding my expectations!”
“Oh yeah? Well who’s the one with more experience? I am! That’s who!”
As Throh and Rampardos started screaming at each other, Hitmonchan and Lilligant slowly backed away from them. “Anyway Lil, what were you talking about?”
Lilligant tilted her head. “Now I’ve got my own nickname now?”
“You don’t mind, do you?”
“I don’t really care. Anyhow, what was I saying before… Oh yeah! My dance competition! I need to train my students…”
“So that’s your job?”
“It’s natural. My species line is known for automatically learning dancing moves. Honestly though, as a child, that would probably be the last thing I would do... And with that note, flashback time!”
******
“Petilil! Petilil!” A Sunkern floated towards Lilligant as a child. “Want to come over to my house and play tea party?”
“No thank you Sunkern, I’m going to watch the big CPFA episode today.”
“That again?” Sunkern frowned. “Petilil, you do that all the time! Why don’t you do something that girls do for once?”
“Tea parties are boring and embarrassing. Fights are exciting and cool! Wanna watch?” As Petilil was speaking, Sunkern was already away from her. Petilil shrugged and headed inside her house, and immediately heard her dad screaming enthusiastically.
“YEAH BABY!” Petili ran over to her father in the television room.
“What’s happening dad?”
“Seviper is totally wiping out Druddigon!”
On television, a Seviper was constantly using Poison Jab against the Dragon type. Druddigon started to enrage himself and Crunched the snake had on the body. Seviper was low on HP but was still strong enough to knock Druddigon out with a well-placed Dragon Tail.
“TKO! The winner is Forsaken Seviper!” The Pikachu in black-and white announced.
Out of television, Petilil and her father were both pretty happy. “Seviper won again!”
“Daddy, I want to grow up and be a fighter someday just like she is!”
“Really? I’m not sure how your mother or older sister would like it…”
“But I’ve been practicing attacks really hard! Look at this! Energy Ball!” Petilil started charging a ball of energy in her leaves, and blasted it partway across the room, disintegrating before it could reach the wall.
“That looks pretty strong, Petilil!” The Pokémon applauded. “But I really wouldn’t know. Special attacks aren’t really my cup of tea.” At that point, a Lilligant stepped down from upstairs.
“I heard the attack’s noises from upstairs.” The Flowering Pokémon said. “I’m still not sure why you want to get into fighting, sis.”
“I told you a gazillion times already, it’s cool!”
“Whatever, sis. Boys won’t like you that way.”
“Are you kidding?” The father interrupted. “Their souls would be blessed to have a gal like that! Of course, I wouldn’t trade one for my wife… Speaking of which, where is she?”
“Still at the mall. Now if you’d excuse me, I have drawings to draw.” The sister went back upstairs, as the father wrapped a vine around his daughter.
“That leaves us about ten minutes. C’mon Petilil, we should at least get to see the upcoming battles.”
“Yay!”
******
“So yeah, I was a tomboy and I still am. That’s how I met Ludicolo. And now to explain more about those memories…”
“Wow, back-to-back flashbacks? You make it sound like time skipping is simple.”
******
“One ticket to tonight’s fight, please.” Lilligant handed in a surplus of Pokédollar bundles to a Yanmega from behind the ticket booth. A few seconds later, she received a ticket for the fight. She shuffled through hoards of Pokémon to find a spot to watch. Many moments later, the two fighters met. One was an odd platypus-duck creature, the other was a round, oval-shaped pink monster.
“You still want to try and get past me, eh amiga?” Ludicolo smirked.
“I was higher than you at one point, and I’m going to see if I can do it again! I’ve still got power in me!” Chansey grinded her teeth. “Let’s brawl it out, ya oversized fruitcake!”
*ROUND 1*
As Ludicolo taunted his foe, Chansey attempted a Double-Edge, but the Grass/Water hybrid’s next attack knocked the egg out of her pouch. Ludicolo then continuously used Razor Leaf to lower Chansey’s HP down, and it appeared to be doing major damage.
“Wow! He’s strong! Go, Ludicolo!” Lilligant shouted with glee.
As the match continued, Ludicolo gave Chansey little time to recover from his blows. She did get in one Seismic Toss, but it didn’t mess up the Grass/Water hybrid one bit, as he knocked down Chansey with an Ice Punch, with seconds remaining on the clock. All the Pokémon in the audience cheered, including Lilligant. She scurried through the mass population after the fight to see if she could get Ludicolo’s autograph.
“Excuse me! Ludicolo!” Ludicolo froze as he heard his name, and rotated himself to see who called him.
“Huh? Yes, ami-gaaa~” Ludicolo stuttered as he saw Lilligant for the first time, and his eyes were bulging in amazement.
“You were… uh… You were great back there!” Lilligant tried to avoid sounding like an idiot- it was her first time ever speaking to a certified CPFA fighter. “And I… uh… wanted an autograph!” Lilligant held out a slightly used notepad and pen.
“aaaaa~” Ludicolo was enamored as he hasn’t seen such a pretty girl in several years, and after more stuttering he eventually replied. “… Oh, you want an autograph senorita? No problem!” Using his chunky palms, he slowly wrote “Don Ludicolo” in magnificent cursive handwriting. “…Oh wait, did you want me to write it to someone in particular?”
“Well… I guess maybe you could’ve written another to my dad…”
“Ah. Well I was about to head to Cherubia’s for a scrumptious meal. Shall we discuss more about it over some dinner?”
“Really? It’d be an honor!”
******
“…And you can probably imagine what happened from there.”
“And that relationship didn’t end well.” Hitmonchan sighed, then a question popped into his head. “…By the way, you never told me who your father was. Who is he?”
“Well…” She smiled and slowly turned away. “If I told you, you probably wouldn’t want to…”
“RAAAAAAAA!”
“REEEEEEEEEE!”
“RAAAAAAAA!”
“REEEEEEEEEE!” Hitmonchan and Lilligant, as well as a majority of the other fighters, turned to see Throh and Rampardos screaming at each other.
“…What are they doing?”
“They’re doing the screaming contest from Xatu Showdown!” Metagross creepily appeared from behind them. “Whoever loses their breath first wins!”
“That doesn’t sound like a game I’d be good at it.”
Metagross chuckled. “You’re probably right! A girl with a voice as soothing as a Sooth Bell, you wouldn’t want to get your throat sore.”
“…Get out.”
“Ok, ok…” As Metagross levitated away, Throh started coughing.
“Hah hah! I won!” Rampardos took in a deep breath. “That’s another win for me!”
Throh grunted. “Hmph! Well I know whose tail Hitmonchan is going to kick tomorrow! Do you?”
“His own?”
“What? Chan doesn’t have a tail… Does he?”
“I don’t, for the record.” Hitmonchan called out.
“Well it’s YOURS! Do you hear me? Yours! Come on Chan, Imma tell ya all the secrets into slamming this hard headed hideous guy into the heavy pavement!” Hitmonchan and Lilligant followed Throh and left the locker room.
“Oh yeah?! Well I’m going to… uh… What do I do? I don’t have an apprentice… Where do I get one, the shelter?”
“So once again, I knock him while he’s charging at me?”
“That’s right! It’s a bit worrying the first time, but it’s when you see the smoke puff outta his nose is when he’ll actually start going towards you.” Doc Throh was reminding Hitmonchan every detail he knew about Rampardos so he could defeat him in the upcoming match. “And don’t forget to juggle him after hits!”
“Juggle him? Isn’t that monster a bit heavy?” Lilligant sarcastically laughed.
“Juggling as in hit him multiple times after a stun.” As the three were entering the OU Circuit ring, they heard slamming noises. Once at their destination, they immediately spotted Rampardos slamming his head against the edge of the ring.
“Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!”
“…What is he doing?”
“He’s sharpening his forehead so it can be flatter.”
Rampardos looked over his shoulder, and then spun around. “My Attack stat will murder! ARGH!” The pachycephalosaurus screamed right in the face of Hitmonchan, who was disgusted by the monster’s breath.
“Geez, that smells horrible! Do you ever take breath mints?”
“I chew gum on a couple occasions…”
Hitmonchan held his Battle Logger out to scan Rampardos, still a bit disgusted. “Bald Rampardos. #3 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 44 wins, 9 losses, 44 KOs. Please note that Bald Rampardos has resigned and entered the CPFA more than once. This biography only rectifies his most recent record. Height is 6’3’, weight is 222 lbs, and age is 35. Random fact: Bald Rampardos has been known to appear on several survival effecting shows.”
“He’s been here more than once? What’s his total record then?” Hitmonchan started punching buttons on the touch screen of the Battle Logger, but it ended up canceling it out of the scan function of it and instead got stuck on a different page. “Augh! Why won’t this thing work?! I need to get it fixed later on…”
“Who cares about stupid technology?!” Rampardos ranted. “Come and fight me! Or are you a chicken? Brock bok bok brock!”
“What’s a chicken? I’ve heard of Torchic before but what’s a chicken?”
“I don’t know actually…”
***ROUND 1***
Rampardos started by rolling his fists, that were miniscule compared to the side of his actual body, and used Pursuit. Hitmonchan dodged at the right time and countered, hitting him again for a star, and Ice Punched him in the gut.
“Urk!” Rampardos was not fond of being hit in the stomach. As he stepped back, Rampardos appeared as if he was about to use Pursuit, except was turning to another direction, rolled his fists a bit longer, and then hit the Fighting type with Assurance. Rampardos used Pursuit again, missing and got slammed by Bullet Punches.
“Ha wrag!” Rampardos then revealed a new and powerful attack to his opponent, Stone Edge. It would’ve been stronger if Hitmonchan didn’t resist it. The Rock type used the move again, except it ended up shooting rocks into the air in random directions, failing. “Darn it!” Hitmonchan kept wailing on Rampardos, with the enemy guarding the last few hits. The monster went back to using Pursuit and Assurance, with Hitmonchan dodging and counter both of those moves for two Stars, and dodged one upcoming Stone Edge. After Rampardos recovered from his dizziness, Hitmonchan executed his special move.
“SKY UPPERCUT!”
“Ack!” The uppercut smacked Rampardos right in the bald point of his head, and spun him around with an unreal sound coming out of his mouth. The shriek sounded like a combination of a cow and a bulldozer. “RrrMOOOW!” Rampardos rotated and started falling to the ring floor, taking a few steps before plummeting.
“One…two…three…four…five…”
“Hrrk… hrrk…” Rampardos pushed himself back up, snorting and mumbling at the same time. “Lucky shot, man… Lucky shot…” The Rock type missed with a Pursuit and Assurance, and then failed with a Stone Edge. At that exact moment, Rampardos knew in his mind it was time to prepare for his special move.
“Hrrr…..” Rampardos made a sound that resembled a motor starting, and stomped to the opposite side of the ring. His entire body started turning red with anger, and Rampardos started running intensely in place.
“Hoo boy! Here it comes!” Throh concurred from the sidelines. “That’s Rampardos’ Head Smash!”
“In reality Lilligant, that sounds casual, laughable, and an understatement. I specifically noted him in Rampardos’ obvious tell- his steam.”
Steam started flowing out of Rampardos’ nose, and as it left, Hitmonchan got into position. As the steam disappeared, Rampardos charged at Hitmonchan, head-first, with high base power, backed behind one of the most physically powerful Pokémon known, and surely could’ve knocked Hitmonchan down, even if he was at full health…
…Unless Hitmonchan executed a precisely timed Ice Punch towards Rampardos’ chest, which he did. The blow was Rampardos’ Achilles heel, as his eyes appeared to have bulged out of his sockets as the blow did seemingly infinite damage to him. He took a few seconds to take a breath, spun around and fell straight to the ground.
“Just imagine how much damage that did to him.” Raichu stated, then resumed his job. “One…two…three…four…” Rampardos pushed himself back up, grumbling and mumbling.
“You’re still gonna lose…” Rampardos immediately started with a Headbutt, catching the opponent off guard. “Attack!” He screamed before he Headbutted again, but this signaled Hitmonchan to dodge and counter. “Awk, man!” Rampardos then used a Pursuit, Assurance, and Pursuit attack, which Hitmonchan dodged and hit him well enough for two Stars, and at that point…
“ROUND OVER!”
***INTERMISSION***
“Little Hitmonchan, huh? Hah! More like Useless Missmonchan.” Rampardos bantered as he placed a steamy pad on his head, most likely to heal it.
“You’re saying that even though I’ve already knocked you down twice?”
“Agh, that doesn’t matter much. For my Attack stat will murder!” Rampardos stated as he pointed his fist skyward. He then pulled out some weights, and started lifting them to show off his muscles. Hitmonchan’s side started chortling.
“Your Attack stat will murder?!” Throh laughed. “Seriously, that’s a good one! Your Attack stat couldn’t murder a Joltik! You’re doing great, Hitmonchan, keep up the good work! Have some chocolate!” Throh handed out a chocolate bar to his apprentice.
“And by the way,” Lilligant added. “Remind me to remind you something after the fight.”
***ROUND 2***
Rampardos threw a twenty pound weight into the audience, where it crushed a Krokorok.
“Oh, Arceus!” The Krokorok screeched in pain.
“Dude, what the heck is wrong with you?!” A nearby Golem called to Rampardos, but the pure Rock type didn’t hear him.
“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” The Krokorok shook his fist in anger, and left the building, stomping and cursing.
No one seemed to notice the Krokorok’s injury and threats but the audience, so the fight went on as normal. Rampardos used a Headbutt attack, which Hitmonchan dodged and countered. The Fighting type then released a level 2 Sky Uppercut to the Rampardos’ skull, sending it to the floor.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…” Rampardos was panting heavily as he sluggishly pulled himself up from the ground. He began with a Headbutt, which missed and ended up with the Rock type getting bruises. Rampardos continued with a Stone Edge, which resulted with the same outcome. The monster went back to his Pursuit and Assurance moves, but Hitmonchan saw the moves coming a mile away, and after hitting him enough knocked him down once more.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…” Hitmonchan’s hopes of an early KO were crushed as Rampardos came up one more time, and immediately hit him with a Stone Edge. He then stood up tall and laughed at his stupidity.’
“Heh heh heh heh…” Hitmonchan was not amused as he Thunderpunched Rampardos in the face for a Star. The Rock type, who was running out of options, used his special Head Smash attack, blowing steam out his nose, turning red, ran in place, and finally blowing steam out of his nose again.
“SKY UPPERCUT!” Hitmonchan started the uppercut right as Rampardos charged at him, and at the right time, the blow connected at the most precise and convenient time available.
“Urgh…” Rampardos moaned as he was punched in the skull. “Agh… the… pain…” He kept moaning as Hitmonchan’s fist was still hurting his head. Rampardos eventually turned around, stepped back, and spun on one foot, and collapsed from fatigue. “Ugh… uh…”
“TKO! Little Hitmonchan is the winner!” Hitmonchan hopped into the air, doing his victory dance, as the crowd cheered his name loudly in the stadium.
“Woo wee, Chan baby! You trashed Rampardos hard! I taught you his secrets very well!” Throh handed 3750 Pokédollars to his apprentice, and then started to leave. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to rub it in to that sucka that you’re so much better than him.” Throh sauntered towards Rampardos, and Lilligant then moved in to take his place.
“Didn’t you remind me to remind you or something?”
“Hmm? Oh yeah! I’d like to invite you to my dance competition tomorrow!”
“Dance… competition?”
“Yeah! We’ll be pit against another dance studio from Sinnoh… They’ll probably fail compared to how much experience my team had. Anyhow, wanna go tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow…” Hitmonchan blinked a few times in thought before he responded. “Sure!”
Hello! Glad to have two new chapters to read! I actually recently purchased "Punch-Out!!" for the Wii. I know the basic concept and characters in the game but I had never actually played a Punch-Out!! game all the way through. I must say you have done a great job associating this fic with the game!
I enjoyed these past two chapters especially with the backstories you are adding. I like the flashbacks and backstories because it gives everyone more character.
Rampardos was a funny character as was his feud with Throh. And that Krokorok getting drilled with the weight was very hilarious!
The only thing I saw wrong was that there is a typo on the word "Tomorrow" in the very last sentence of Chapter 27.
Hello! Glad to have two new chapters to read! I actually recently purchased "Punch-Out!!" for the Wii. I know the basic concept and characters in the game but I had never actually played a Punch-Out!! game all the way through. I must say you have done a great job associating this fic with the game!
Nice! And thank you! I try to make their reactions as close to theirs as possible in sound form, even if they're in a different language!
I enjoyed these past two chapters especially with the backstories you are adding. I like the flashbacks and backstories because it gives everyone more character.
Ah, thanks for catching that. At this point, my computer was overloaded with incorrect Pokemon names that it stopped having the red lines when I misspelled something. Maybe next time I should add the words to the dictionary as I go along.
Anyhow, I've added both Thirst Gyarados and Bald Rampardos to the character index. I swear I've added Thirst Gyarados before but apparently not.
As a teaser for the next chapter, this chapter will contain 90% less Hitmonchan, but as a compensate, will contain 50% more Throh, 30% more Rampardos, 20% more Mismagius and Battle Logger, and 10% more Entrainment. Make of that as you will!
This is probably the best chapter I've written so far, at least in my mind. It's also the longest as well.
If you don't recognize the Arm Wrestling thing, there was a Spin-Off of Punch-Out called Arm Wrestling, and Bald Bull was in it. You can clearly see the analogies of it.
For the first time, we finally get to see part of an episode of Entrainment! Isn't it addicting?
Chapter 28: Doc’s Day
In a gym, a Liepard was being surrounded by several Pokémon. “Liepard, how could you?!” Honchkrow gawked. “You’re telling me that this whole set-up was a scheme of yours for cash?!”
“It’s in the name, ya bozo. I knew this school was gullible, and this was the right time to exploit it.” Liepard confessed, and then turned her head. “I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that dumb Hariyama!”
“Hey, you were the one getting my attention!” Hariyama protested. “After recovering from the incident I had with Heatmor, I thought we could’ve had something more, but no!” Hariyama turned around and stared at the floor. “No one loves the big guys…”
“You’ll get a gal someday, buddy.” Ampharos patted him on the back.
“Hmph, so what if you’ve caught me on the act, for I have this!” Liepard pulled out a Smoke Ball, threw it to the ground, causing an enormous and blinding puff of smoke to arise, and providing a getaway for the Pokémon. “Nyeh heh heh heh! Smell ya later, suckers!”
“She got away!” Combusken stated the obvious.
“Well, now what are we gonna do?” Honchkrow questioned.
Outside of the Entrainment universe, Doc Throh was chanting to the TV “Bisharp, don’t go… Bisharp don’t go!”
“I’ll go follow her!”
“No!” Throh threw his chocolate bars into the air in anger. “The rumor was right! Bisharp does temporarily leave in this episode! This messes up a whole bunch of leaks and theories! Curse Entrainisle for its true rumors!” Throh shook his red fist to the sky, with Hitmonchan, who was also watching, contemplated if Doc’s parents dropped him as a baby. Throh eventually calmed down, and reached for some Moo-Moo Milk.
DING DONG!
“Oh hey, that must be Lil!” Hitmonchan got off of his chair, rushed to the front door, and unlocked it.
“Ready to go?”
“All set!” Hitmonchan called to Throh. “Hey Doc! We’re going out!”
Throh spat the Moo-Moo Milk onto the TV, covering the beautiful scene of a Scyther asking a Vespiquen to a dance. “You guys are goin’ out?! But you’ve only known each other for nearly a week!”
“What? No! I mean going out of the apartment for a while… We’re not dating!”
“Yet.” Throh smirked, causing Hitmonchan and Lilligant turned away and both had a luminescent shade of pink on their cheeks. “Aha! I saw that, narrator!”
“Saw what?”
“What you two did! You two were-“ Throh suddenly was muffled, making him unable to speak. He then realized not to mess with such a powerful force that shapes the mere fabrics of this entire universe in place. Ahem! Now that I have cracked the wall enough, I think we should let the lovely Lilligant explain the situation.
“I invited Hitmonchan to my Dance Competition yesterday! I would’ve invited you too, but you were too busy calling Rampardos harsh and vulgar names.”
Oh right, Throh was then given the permission to speak. “Stupid narrator… Someday I’m gonna…” A piece of wood randomly and interestingly materialized above Throh’s head, and bonked right into it. “Grr…..”
“Wow, I wonder where that piece of wood came from.”
“Well, no matter. I can be here alone watching Entrainment reruns all day.” Throh reached for some more Moo-Moo Milk, but then paused for Hitmonchan to speak first.
“Help yourself. You deserve some time off, anyway.” Throh decided it was safe to drink, and started chugging down the Moo-Moo Milk carton. “Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I called Mismagius over to tinker with the Battle Logger to find its secrets.”
Throh began choking for a few seconds, and spat out more Moo-Moo Milk, covering the TV’s delightful advertisement of a handsome Machoke describing how deodorant can make males become the Pokémon their wives want to have. “YOU CALLED MISMAGIUS OVER?!”
“MY INNERMOST SECRETS WILL BECOME KNOWN?!” The Battle Logger, still in its Free speech mode, screamed from on the kitchen table.
“But… I… How’d you even know her phone number?”
“You have it written on the fridge. She should be here any minute now. Anyways, we have to be at the studio early to prepare, right Lil?”
“Huh? Oh right.” Lilligant wiped the drool off her face after peaking at the TV. “See ya later, Throh!” The two Pokémon left and slammed the door to the apartment.
“Th… that was so unexpected… I gotta clean up…” Throh scurried around his apartment, picking up chocolate bar wrappers.
“I understand as well!” The Battle Logger shuddered, though in its case, vibrated. “My precious insides… What horrible ways could they be edited? It overheats me just to think about it…”
Nearly an hour of cleaning later, a half-asleep Throh was sitting on his couch, with the news channel on.
“According to several witnesses, an unusual black lump covered from head-to-toe with seaweed has been brought by shore in the southern parts of Johto.” A Blastoise reported. “Said black lump is being transported to the hospital, and speculations concur that-“
DING DONG!
“Ugh… She’s here…” Throh pushed the power button on the television sit, shook his head to wake himself up, reached for the doorknob, and opened it.
“Greetings, Throh!”
“Hi Mismagius. How are you-“ Throh was cut short as Mismagius immediately hugged him. “Uh… Yeah.”
“I concurred since Hitmonchan isn’t present, I could reveal a lot more affection to my Nageki… Did you even tell him about us?”
“Nah, he would’ve bugged me about it.”
“How is he, anyway? Has quality modification and quality tolerance helped further his competitive battling career?”
“Yep! He’s reached about the halfway point in the OU Circuit.”
Mismagius grinned. “Serendipitous! Now… where is the electronic specimen that I was called to examine and unlock?”
“It’s on the kitchen table.”
“WHY?!” The Battle Logger digitally cried. Mismagius rushed to the kitchen table and swiped the Battle Logger. She then moved back to Throh, and reached into her messenger bag. After a bit of searching, Mismagiu removed an entire table accompanied with several tools.
“Now…” Mismagius placed the Battle Logger on the table, and pulled out a screwdriver, having an evil and sadistic look on her face.
“Oh, please no! Have mercy! My electronics are only able to be seen by only my creators!” Mismagius carefully started unscrewing the screws of the device, with the Battle Logger pleeing for her to stop. She didn’t listen, and as she opened one part of the device she took out another screwdriver- an imported one for opening only the most important of machinery.
“No… Ugh… Uck… Aaaaahhh!”
“Yes! Just a little more!” Mismagius kept unscrewing screws, and changed screwdrivers to an even more rarer one. At this point, the Battle Logger started releasing sparks in defense, but Mismagius did not care about the burns. “Come on… come on…”
Throh was just staring at the event looking dumbfounded. “I feel like I shouldn’t be watching this…”
About two hours of tinkering, adding, and completely dismantling later, Mismagius held up the disgusted Battle Logger. “It’s finished! I’ve upgraded the Battle Logger to astounding proportions! It is now voice activated, as well can search for other Battle Loggers via GPS! There’s a lot more, except I must test it immediately to be sure. Throh, could I kindly ask you to escort me to the CPFA?”
“Uh, sure.”
“I feel so violated…” The Battle Logger moanged.
Throh, Mismagius, and the Battle Logger (who was being carried by the Ghost type) were taking a stroll to the CPFA just a few minutes afterwards. “Sooo… How’s the studying going along?”
“Studies have been proving to be quite successful. I’ve recently found out how the Farfetch’d species gets powered up with specific leeks… The leek’s minerals genetically flow through the hands of the bearer, except they only react drastically with Farfetch’d. This increases the atoms inside the bird, sharpening its power. Now I just need to discover just what specifics Farfetch’d have that all other Pokémon don’t… Another tidbit I’m researching is how the Paras line creates its spores, and how other Pokémon have the ability to use said move.”
“Sounds like you’re super busy.”
“And those are only my priorities, I still have so many more things to research. Say, how some Charmander have fiery tails than their evolutionary relatives, or what Grimer and Muk have to do with the moon landings. And I really don’t get why Mr. Mime can block off certain sounds when he clearly has earlike anatomy.” Mismagius turned away, mumbling about other curious quirks, until turning back to Throh. “How has your training with Hitmonchan been?”
“Well…” As Throh began to speak, a childish voice from afar stopped him.
“Hey daddy! It’s the guy that’s making us famous on the internet!” A Scraggy and Scrafty scruffled to the two Pokémon.
“Excuse me, but could we take a moment to interview you?”
“Interview me for what?”
“Haven’t you seen the hot new fad on the internet? Fat guy stole my bike? You stole this other guy’s bike and it’s really funny!” Scraggy started bouncing up and down.
“I decline, for my Throh is certainly not fat.”
“Yeah!”
“…He’s just a bit shapely, I suppose.”
The palm of Throh’s right hand collided with his face, often referred to as a facepalm. “You’re getting your facts wrong. First of all, I’m not fat, I’m just hunchbacked, second, I haven’t stolen anyones bicycle…” Throh then muttered something after a moment. “I’ve taken one though…”
“Aha! So can we interview you?” Scrafty took a notepad and pen from his hood.
“Maybe later. I gotta go to the CPFA. I’m Little Hitmonchan’s coach!”
“What’s the CPFA?”
“Goodbye!” Throh grabbed Mismagius and purpousely left. “Anyone who doesn’t know about the CPFA is dead to me.”
***
“I detect Techno Metagross, Bald Rampardos, Dare Weavile, and Super Macho Machamp in the locker room.” The Battle Logger reported as Throh and Mismagius were just outside the OU Locker Room.
“You sure about that?”
“99.98% correct… Oh wait, forgot the DNA scan… Scanning… scanning… Scan complete. 99.99% correct. There can always be a margin of error, providing radio failures.” The Pokémon entered the locker room, and the Battle Logger was completely correct on the fighters in the room. Rampardos was placing some items in his locker, Machamp was chatting with someone on his cell phone, and Metagross was holding his own Battle Logger, while looking confused. Weavile was curious to see what Metagross was confused about, so he asked.
“This is peculiar… My advanced Battle Logger is detecting strang abnormal radio waves… Only my Battle Logger can do such a thing.”
“No, no… This is surely a Battle Logger’s signal.”
“That would be this one’s.” Mismagius raised Hitmonchan’s Battle Logger. Metagross levitated over, with Weavile slowly approaching. “Hitmonchan requested that I upgrade his device and found its inner potential, so I spent some time with it and boosted it to its highest potential. I’ve increased the radius of its wireless communication, added a CPFA fighter searching feature, improve its internet searching ability to go twice as quickly, added a camera that can take over six hundred pictures and record up to three hours of video, removed unnecessary shovelware like that unjust paranormity eating mini-game, gave it the ability to stream canceled but very enjoyable cartoons from up to a decade ago, and even gave it a special magnet for attracting pocket change.”
“So you’re saying you’ve jailbroken into the Battle Logger just like I did?” Metagross questioned, and Mismagius silently nodded. “Nice!” Metagross gave Mismagius a fist bump, despite neither of the Pokémon having actual fists in their anatomy. As the two put the Battle Loggers on a nearby desk, Weavile just crossed his arms.
“Hmph. Nerds.” Weavile scoffed at the two, and bounced away.
“I believe the correct term is geek!” Mismagius called out, slightly offended. “A nerd would have allowed it to stream thousands of delightful feminine-looking Pokémon snapshots!”
“…Dang, I am a nerd…” Metagross snapped and muttered, before standing up straight. “Er-hem, so uh… you know about that enormous science convention coming in a few weeks?”
“Affirmative. And before you ask, negative, I do not plan on going with a partner.”
“Oh. Right. That’s cool.”
As the Pokémon were conversing, the Battle Loggers were also chatting on the nearb desk. “So, how long were you deciphered with, man?” Metagross’ Battle Logger asked in a low pitched voice.
“About three hours. You?”
“Lucky! I’ve been on that editing desk for four hours at a time, nearly once a month he gets a new idea! Well, at least you haven’t gotten the battery upgrade yet, bro.”
Hitmonchan’s Battle Logger shuddered, which in its case, vibrated. “The… battery upgrade?”
“Hoo boy. That upgrade is painful. It’s like you grow from the inside, but not the out. And boy is it painful!”
At this point, Rampardos noticed Throh and stomped specifically towards him, but then noticed Mismagius. “Argh! It’s you! And… Mismagius! What’re you doing here?”
“I’m just spending time with my Nageki, here.”
“Didn’t you tell her that you got yourself a girlfriend?” Rampardos smugly said, with Mismagius gasping.
“It was only for a few weeks. That Nidoqueen only liked me for the money.” Throh then pointed to the Rock type in anger. “And what about your girlfriend?!”
Metagross started sweating. “Urrr… I don’t want to get involved…” The very smart Pokémon grabbed his Battle Logger and stepped back slowly.
“Hey! We were having an enchanting conversation about the economy!” Hitmonchan’s Battle Logger called out.
“Well… Whiscash… She uh…” Rampardos made something up on the spot. “She had a terminal disease!”
“Oh. How frightful. That does occur often.” Mismagius commented.
“But really. Why are you here?! I swear you quit the CPFA! Why did you come back?” Throh screamed.
“Well… After I decided to stop, I tried my hand in a new type of sport… A sport that required real muscle power! That sport was…” Rampardos deepened his voice for dramatic effect. “Arm wrestling.”
***
“Several years ago, I was at a carnival, and decided to join an Arm Wrestling competition, since the prizes were loads more than the CPFA could give me.” Rampardos narrated over a flashback. His past self saw an ad on a post, and stomped to the entry. To make sure he wouldn’t be recognized and tramped from fans, he put on a poorly made mask that he made out of a paper bag.
“Been waiting for you.” An old Kricketune creepily coughed to Rampardos.
“Ruh… really? Wow. What an honor.” Rampardos scribbled his name on the entry list, under the new alias “Masked R” and immediately after lifting the pen off the paper, Kricketune spoke again.
“Gentlemen… let the tournament… begin! Cough!”
“What? It begins already?” Kricketune directed Rampardos through a nearby crowd to a table, holding his first opponent.
“Taxes Cacturne!”
“Howdy, partner.” Cacturne set his arm on the table towards Rampardos’. “With the cash from dis, Imma get maself a new freakin’ mansion! Anotha one to add to ma collection!”
“Uh… that’s nice.”
An attractive female Leavanny stepped in from the background. “Ready?” She then uncharistically shot fake bullets from her fingers. “GO!”
“The heck?” Rampardos questioned the strange Pokémon for a moment, before noticing that Cacturne was slowly bringing his arm to the ground. With one breath, Rampardos completely turned the tables and flipped Cacturne down, even making his hat fall down.
“By golly, I think I lost.”
Not too long later, Rampardos was blasted into the second round, with a very heavy Pokémon to face.
Kricketune coughed into the microphone the next match. “Next challenge… Special guest… from Japan… Hariteyama!”
“I no speak your language.” The Hariyama spoke every word slowly. Even though the Fighting type looked down to Rampardos, he still failed to put up a good match.
“You have reached round three. Collect your prize.” Kricketune tossed a sack of Pokédollars to Rampardos, and inside was an astounding 20, 000 Pokédollars! Rampardos’ eyes were beaming, and his toungue was drooling.
“Next… challenge… Vee Verde.”
“Hold it. Do not move.” A Gurdurr with a green vest with the letter “V” on it glared at Rampardos as he brought his arm out. His voice sounded very young however, as if he was just a kid in an adult’s body. When the Leavanny shot her bullets, Rampardos and Gurdurr both pulled at their strongest might, with both muscles canceling out. The Gurdurr had strategy however. He was using his other hand to push himself to the opposite direction, and kept grunting.
“Hiccup! Hurr! Hiccup! Hurr…” As Gurdurr was grunting, Rampardos tried getting up closer to the Fighting type, however, he somehow messed up, and his head bounced around confused. Gurdurr used this to his advantage. “And now! Practical! Practical! Practical! Practical! Practical!” Gurdurr was repeatantly forcing himself to the left every time he spoke.
“What the heck is up with you?” As Rampardos asked, Gurdurr immediately recognized the voice, and turned to his opponent. He then smiled and grasped Rampardos’ mask. “Hey! Stop that!”
“Pull! Pull!” Gurdurr successfully pulled off the mask of “Masked R” to reveal his true self. “Bal… ba ba bal bal… BALD RAM-PAR-DOS!” As Rampardos was stunned Gurdurr slammed the Rock types arm to the table, ending the match.
“You… win!” Leavanny giggled and sighed. Gurdurr turned around in joy, with him holding both his muscular arms up in victory.
“Ya-hall! Yahoo yahoo!”
As the tournament was elimination style, Rampardos couldn’t continue his journey to become the Arm Wrestling master, but instead decided to watch instead. Thankfully, no fans of him horded his view. He decided to watch Vee Verde’s next match.
“Semi-final… Our challenge… Chimchar and Primeape III.”
A small, nerdy, and female Chimchar stepped up to the table with an oversized, crazy, and purely diabolical Primeape robot. “I have finally perfected the perfect robot! He shall win my family large cash prizes!” Chimchar announced to the crowd in some sort of scientist’s accent, but no one took her seriously.
“I must Pri-men-ate you all.” Primeape’s evil and sudden mechanical voice made all of the audience jump in fear.
“Isn’t he just the greatest friend a girl could ever have?” Chimchar hugged her creation, and Primeape III did not move a muscle.
“Ready? Go!” Gurdurr seemed to have the upper hand for a bit, for Primeape III was actually doing the arm wrestling. However, things seemed to be troublesome as Chimchar pressed a few buttons on her remote control, making a magent form from the robot’s hand. The magnet attempted making Primeape III’s other arm fall to the side that would make him win. However, Gurdurr saw this coming, and swiped the magnet from Primeape III, and applied it to the monkey himself. As the magnetic rays interfered with the remote control signals, Gurdurr then threw the magnet away, making Primeape III’s arm get removed from his body, and Primeape III go crazy toward the magnet.
“I’ll be back!” Primeape III swore as he was being attracted magnetically to a magnet. Chimchar was chasing after her robot pal, and Leavanny announced the results.
“You… win!”
“Ya-hal! Yahoo yahoo!”
“This is the final match… Our challenge. Slah… Cough! Slak Jr.”
Rampardos looked disgusted as he saw the Slaking pick his nose as he sauntered onto the stand. Gurdurr did not care, as he secretly hid a hand sanitizer bottle in his vest for afterwards. The final match began, with both sides working vigorously to win, until Slaking did something unexpected.
“Wuh… wait!” Slaking smiled and put his hand up, to signify a pause in everything. Everyone waited anciously to see what would happen next. To everyone’s surprise, Slaking used that hand to Fire Punch Gurdurr in the face, burning it, and used the time of surprise to bring Gurdurr’s arm down for the Normal type to win.
“Uh huh huh huh hah hack! Uh huh huh haah, hack!” Slaking posed like a supermodel, and cackled at Gurdurr without his mouth even opening. Gurdurr froze in an embarrassed pose, and slowly fell to under the desk.
Rampardos’ eyes were wide open, trying to recall what he just saw into words. “…Where the heck am I? Arm wrestling is way zanier than the CPFA was…”
***
“Yeah… Arm wrestling was not the place for me… So after trying my hand at mountain climbing as well as my daily dose of survival shows, I went back to fighting, since it seemed to be the best I was good at.”
Mismagius was trying to comprehend everything Rampardos stated in a logical way, however Throh just spat out what was on his mind. “You’ve gone crazy, man! Robot Primeapes… Arm wrestling… Mysterious Kricketunes… You’ve gone crazy!”
“Crazy, huh?!” Rampardos backflipped to the other side of the locker room. “Can a crazy one do that?!”
“Actually yeah, I’ve seen a Porygon-Z do that a couple of times.”
“Shaddup! Now come at me, man!” Rampardos started charging towards his old rival, and Throh had no other choice but to initiate combat. As Rampardos went in for his Head Smash, Throh used Stone Edge at the exact moment the Rock type was going to collide, and the stones stopped the charging monster. Throh then used that opportunity to leap over the stunned Pokémon, and took hold of his tail. Using as much force as he could, Throh started spinning, still having hold of Rampardos. Once he seemed to be rotating fast enough, he let go of this rival.
“So long, Ram-par-dos!” Throh yelled as he perfectly executed the move Storm Throw as if he was doing it to a turtle. Rampardos looked as if he was going to crash into the wall, but the walls were made of pure titanium- due to previous events in the past, the CPFA’s walls were altered to the upmost defenses.
BONK!
“Ooh… Right in the cranium.” Mismagius squeeled.
“I could’ve done that any time in the ring back then, but then the audience would’ve complained about flying monsters!” Throh called out to the concussion concealing monster, who was too damaged to speak. However, at that point, Clefable opened the door, with a familiar Ground/Dark type stepping in as well.
“This is where he resides, Krokorok. Enjoy your stay!” Clefable smiled as she left, oblivious to why he came in.
“Hey hard-head!” The Krokrok that Rampardos thew a weight on had an icebag on his head. “I told you you’ll be hearing from my lawyer, and he’s outside! I hope you’ve got a lotta money!” Krokorok grabbed Rampardos by the tail and dragged him out the door to encounter a Steelix in court. Throh and Mismagius were alone at this point.
“... Wanna go home and watch Entrainment?”
***
“I really should’ve dropped off the trophy at home…” Lilligant struggled as she hauled an oversized golden 1st place trophy at a Slugma’s pace up the stairs to Throh’s apartment, with Hitmonchan at her side.
“You sure you don’t want me to help carry it?”
“No, no… I’m a big girl now. I can carry my own trophies.” At the doorstep, Lilligant placed the trophy down and hoped no natural disasters would make it topple and shatter. “Well… I really appreciate you cheering me on…”
“Well you’ve cheered me on like four times already. It’s a shame Throh couldn’t go- he would’ve gone crazy over those free chocolates…”
“I personally think it would’ve still been better if he didn’t come.” Hitmonchan and Lilligant both smiled, and…
“Wait, you can smile? Lilligants don’t have mouthes…”
“Uh… I… Well… Let’s just say they can.” Lilligant and Hitmonchan continued smiling, and started to inch closer to each other, and at that point they heard…
“JUST KISS ALREADY!” The two heard Throh’s voice, breaking the moment, and scouted around for him. They then knocked on the door, and Mismagius let them in.
“Greetings, Hitmonchan. We were just watching Entrainment.”
“Hiya, Mismagius. We were at a dance competition.”
The Ghost type turned to the Grass type. “And who might this ravishing young lady be?”
“I’m Lilligant, a friend of Chan’s. You must be the smart gal that taught him how to beat Kadabra, right? He told me about you at the competition.”
“Really? What did he say? Did he happen to inform you on my dashing good appearance and superior beauty?”
“Uh… no… That would be awkward, considering you’re several years older than him.”
Mismagius chortled. “Just harmless teasing, that’s all. Researching in a labrotory all day makes you forget about you appearance.”
“So… what’d you do to the Battle Logger?”
As Mismagius opened her mouth, Throh cried in horror. “NO! THEY DIDN’T KISS!” On the TV, an Arbok and Swalot were moving away from each other, with Swalot thinking out loud to the audience.
Dang it, why didn’t I kiss her? It was the perfect opportunity…
The Arbok also thought out loud. If only I didn’t like Gabite already…
At this line, Throh smashed his chocolate bar in the palm of his hand in anger. “That’s it, Gabite is goin’ down… With Lampent.”
Hitmonchan turned his head to Throh. “Who are those guys?”
“Read the manga.” Lilligant and Mismagius simultaneously stated.
“…And that’s why my crown is irreplaceable.” Lilligant finished a conversation while the three were traveling to the ring. “Even if it was another crown from another Lilligant, something would be terribly wrong if I did not have my crown. Thankfully it’s nearly impossible for it to be taken off, for it’s my mind that decides if I want it off or not.”
“That makes perfect sense!” Throh seemed astounded. “Who knew genes had anything to do with it?”
“But what does that make the red part on your head?”
“Oh that’s actually part of the crown. If you remove that, I would look horrible with just that crown on.” As Hitmonchan understood, he stepped onto the ring, and stared at his opponent of the day; Metagross. The Pokémon was typing some quick things on his laptop, and then noticed the Fighting type from across the ring.
“Hello, Hitmonchan.”
“Hey Meta. What’re you doing on that?”
“Going over my strategy too complex for the average brain to comprehend.”
“Your…strategy?”
“Indeed! Before I fight any opponent, I do mountains of studies and research to find their weaknesses. I also review their fighting videos to notice quirks and moves. And now, all I need to do is scan you with my Battle Logger for the final analysis…” Metagross held out his advanced Battle Logger to the other side of the ring. The Battle Logger beeped and whirred, signaling it was powering up, before it scanned.
“Little Hitmonchan. #3 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 12 wins, 3 losses, 12 KOs. Height is 4’7’, weight is 110.7 lbs, and age is 17. Random fact: Little Hitmonchan has spent eight Nugget’s worth of money on CPFA merchandise. Moves are Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunderpunch, Bullet Punch, and his special moves are Sky Uppercut and Dig.”
“Woah… That’s so high tech…” Hitmonchan stared at the newfangled gadget, before taking out his own. “But I’m sure that my Battle Logger is just as good!”
“Techno Metagross. #2 of the Over Used Circuit. Record is 45 wins, 20 losses, 39 KOs. Height is 5’5’, weight is 400 lbs, and age is 31. Random fact: Despite his name, Techno Metagross is more of a Pop fan than Techno.”
“…Well? Is there anything else you can tell me?”
“I apologize, but I have not been upgraded enough to be able to list an opponent’s moveset. That would require excessive and valuable technology all the way from the Almia region.”
“Where and what the heck is Almia?”
“Exactly.”
“Hit me with your best shot! I know how to beat you! I’ve analyzed all your fighting patterns! Go ahead and fire away at me, this supercomputer isn’t going down anytime soon!”
***ROUND 1***
Once the bell rang, Metagross immediately leaned back and gave Hitmonchan a swift Bullet Punch to the face. Expecting another Bullet Punch, the Fighting type dodged the moment he saw the Steel/Psychic type move, however said hybrid did not use Bullet Punch, and instead raised one of his arms up, and then down fiercly to perform a Hammer Arm.
“Yes! My strategy is working already!”
“So what? Everyone I face for the first time always gets a hit-“ As Hitmonchan was trying to converse in the fight, his guard wasn’t up and was smacked with a Bullet Punch. This time, Hitmonchan waited to see what Metagross was aiming to do, and this time it was another Hammer Arm. The Fighting type dodged, and actually was able to smack his opponent with Fire and Thunderpunches. After taking enough punches, Metagross blocked rather than being shifted to the side. The Iron Leg Pokémon executed a Bullet Punch, but failed to hit and was pummeled with punches soon after. The same end result of a miss happened when Metagross tried to Hammer Arm. After that however, Metagross had to check something on a small device.
“Hold on! I need to check to see how my digital pets are going…”
“Digital pets my butt, geek!” Hitmonchan Fire Punched the robotic Pokémon right in the face for a Star, making Metagross have to drop his toy.
“Hey! I think he was just about to evolve, too! I missed a valuable moment in-”
“SKY UPPERCUT!”
Metagross tried to move away in fear of the move. “Woah-woah-woah… AGITH!” The blow sent him a few feet into the air, but he quickly readjusted himself and forgot about his digital pet for a moment to continue the battle. While the two were fighting, Lilligant started a conversation with Throh.
“Actually, those tiny digital pet thingies aren’t so bad…”
“True that. I remember messing with those all the time as a kid. But nowadays, the new ones are just plain ugly.”
“Yeah, what is with those? I really miss the classics! I remember that there were a few that looked just like me!”
“Aha hah! Cool story sis, but I don’t remember any like that. Have any proof?”
Back in the battle, Hitmonchan knocked Metagross down with one final Thunderpunch. “Well that was an epic fail!” Metagross spouted as he was knocked back to the ring, and fell, with all of his limbs stretched out on the ring floor.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…” Metagross sluggishly pulled himself back up.
“Okay, that was just me playing nicely! Now it’s time to power you down!” Metagross started to levitate, and turned to a side, straightening himself with his limbs to be appear as a thin blue door. A light blue spark magically appeared and raised from his head, and he slammed into the Fighting type.
“Yeowch! What was that?”
“Ever heard of Zen Headbutt? Of course you haven’t! You’re too unintelligent to have known!” Metagross went into position to use another Zen Headbutt, but missed as the Fighting type dodged. “What? Impossible!” As Hitmonchan finished punched his opponent, Raichu called out the round was over.
***INTERMISSION***
“Yo Chan! How’d you even get this far up in the league, anyway? My metagame analysis suggests that you should be struggling down in the UU Circuit with some Cofagrigus or Scyther.”
“Uh? Hello?” Throh waved. “I trained him! I’m the OU Champion here!”
“What’s that got to do with my metagame analysis?”
“Don’t judge a monster by its cover! I faced a Musharna once and hoo nelly, I had nightmares of that pink terror gobblin’ up my chocolate bars for weeks!”
“Speaking of chocolate bars… Can I have one now?”
“Ok, but just a bit, I’m runnin’ low from yesterday.” As Throh handed his apprentice a few chocolate pieces, Lilligant stepped in with a laptop, holding a picture of a digital monster.
“Doesn’t this gal look a lot like me?”
“Heck no! Sure, they’re both grass oriented, but still.” Hitmonchan paused for a moment, looked around, and then spoke. “…Where’d you get that laptop from, anyway?”
“Uh…”
“Hey! How’d you get onto my laptop?! It has a password!” Metagross screamed out from the other side. “If ya wanted to use it, you should’ve asked me, baby!”
“It wasn’t hard to get in. It took only like five attempts, and the password was “Lilligant”. Naming passwords after your romance desires is so cliché.”
Throh’s eyes widened. “Uh… Hey Hitmonchan, remind me to change my email password after the fight.”
***ROUND 2***
“Knowledge is power, Chan! I’ll prove it to you!” Hitmonchan attempted to predict a Bullet Punch, so he ducked, however Metagross changed his pattern up to start with a Hammer Arm, and knocked him down in the first few seconds of the match. “See? What’d I tell ya? I’m one of the few fighters that actually change their strategy!”
“One…two…three…four…” As the Fighting type heard those numbers be chanted, he slowly brought himself back up to fight.
Metagross went for a Bullet Punch this time, which Hitmonchan was still a bit too injured to dodge in time. The robotic monster then went for a Zen Headbutt, and his opponent attempted to counter it, but failed and got severly injured. At this point, Metagross had to check on his digital pets once more, however was smacked for a Star at this point. Hitmonchan tried a Sky Uppercut, but Metagross started the process for a Zen Headbutt, making the uppercut miss and the headbutt hit, signaling another knockdown for Hitmonchan.
“What’s the matter Hitmonchan? Not smart enough? Well get smart! Watch a movie! Train your brain playing more of those video games!”
“One…two…three…four…” Hitmonchan carefully got back on his two feet, and was getting sick of Metagross’ banting at this point.
“Could we get on with it already? I thought geniuses knew not to pick on under-” Hitmonchan was interrupted once again to receive a Bullet Punch right at the face. Metagross went for a Hammer Arm, but Hitmonchan dodged and Fire Punched his opponent as much as he could. At this point, Metagross went for his finisher.
“THIS will end it! METEOR MASH!” The background of the arena seemingly changed to a dark and starry sky, as stars flowed to Metagross’ fist. He then faced his opponent, and unleashed a hard punch that appeared to have been fired like a meteor. Hitmonchan narrowly dodged the treacherous attack, much to Metagross’ surprise. “What? But how?” The Fighting type responded with as many attacks as he could fire, even getting a Star in the process. Hitmonchan went for the Sky Uppercut once more, but like last time, the Steel type started his Zen Headbutt as his opponent was preparing to uppercut, and succeeded with the hit. The Iron Leg Pokémon went for a Hammer Arm, but missed and got pelted by continuos hits, then blocked more after he was stunned. He finished the fight with a Bullet Punch as Hitmonchan continued to punch.
“Ugh… Hooo…” The beaten Fighting type was knocked to the ring’s edge, and the force of the ropes knocked him onto the ring’s floor. “Uck.”
“TKO! The winner is Techno Metagross!”
“Victory is mine!” Metagross shook his fist skyward as he levitated off of the ring. As he was levitating, he was shouting other nonsense like “Fatality” and “Knowing is half the battle” before being yelled at by a Noctowl to shut up.
Throh and Lilligant dashed up to Hitmonchan, who was flat on the ring’s floor. “That supercomputer’s tough, son. We’ll get em’ next time!”
