Wow, great job on this one! I can tell a lot of time was put into this chapter. It may have been the funnest one yet.
I see what you did there! Great song reference, though the "I'd" should be an "I"
Great jokes throughout the whole chapter, though I especially like this one:
It was great finally meeting Chan's family, and it was great seeing them all interact, especially the younger siblings of Chan and Lilligant. The fight between Chan and Throh was fantastic and hilarious! Especially the knockout at the end.
That is so how I pictured him reacting. The only suggestion I have is that it seems sometimes after dialogue you don't mention who said it and I sometimes have to go back and figure out who said what. Just be sure to try and add something like "stated Throh" or "Chan said" after dialogue so it makes it a little less confusing. Not a major problem at all, just a suggestion. Otherwise, the chapter was great and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Can't wait for the next one when Don and Lilligant meet up again *awkwardness!*
Hah hah, I had tons of fun writing that one, though I think it took the most combined writing time to write out of all the other chapters. That, and all of the other real life scenarios in the way.
I guess I'm not the only old school music fan around here! Then again, as an old teenager I have some of the strangest and oldest song choices out there.
Wanted to post this yesterday, but I forgot to put the document on my flash drive during a trip as I didn't have my computer on me. Ah well, better late than never.
I'm 'hoping' I can get the next chapter up a bit quicker than usual. Since the next one's chapter 50, expect something pretty original. But lthat's in the future, let's talk about the now!
Chapter 49: Don Ludicolo’s Revenge:
“Doo-dee-doop, dee-doo… Today’s such a great day…” A Jolly Ludicolo was walking in the city while he was eating an ice cream sandwich. I can’t wait for my match tomorrow… I bet it’ll be me getting to beat on Weavile again.
Along the way, he passed by a few child Pokémon, chatting about the news. “Hey did you hear the newest CPFA news, dude?” A Skorupi asked his Fire typed friend.
“Nope, not yet. My mom’s banned me from TV again. What happened?” Torchic was definitely curious.
“Little Hitmonchan defeated Great Alakazam! And it was quick, too!”
“Awesome! Hey, who’s he going to fight next?”
The sound of an ice cream sandwich hitting the floor caused the two kids to look at Ludicolo, who turned his head slowly to the two in a very creepy way.
“What. Did. You. Just. Say?”
“That Little Hitmonchan defeated Great Alakazam. See! This guy!” Skorupi showed the Grass/Water type a picture of Little Hitmonchan holding the victory belt once again. “He’s the coolest, isn’t he?” Ludicolo grabbed the paper and tore it in half.
“AGAFRAGAFLAGADAGGADAAAG!!” Ludicolo screamed as if his favorite toy was just broken in front of him. His face was steaming red and it looked like he was going to use Explosion. Instead, he ran as fast as an Accelgor to the gym.
The two kids didn’t care about the Pokémon’s anger and were instead looking at the delicious, sugary sandwich on the ground. “Hey, let’s go steal his ice cream sandwich!” Before the two could react, a Durant ran out of nowhere, picked up the sandwich, and then dug underground.
“That’s it! I’m so going to beat him tomorrow!” Ludicolo began lifting weights rigorously.
The next day, Ludicolo wasn’t the same Ludicolo he used to be. His usually always-smiling self had morphed into an unpleasing frown. Ludicolo also now wore a dark blue hat as opposed to his light green one. He did not say word while he passed by hundreds of fans.
Hitmonchan, oblivious to the hybrids anger, greeted him. “Hey, Ludicolo! How’s it going?”
Ludicolo wasted not time and got right in his opponent’s face. “YOU!”
Ludicolo’s face looked absolutely horrifying right in front of the champion’s face.“Uh… Yes. Me. What about me?”
“You not only stole my title and became the champion, but you also stole my girlfriend! And that’s terrible!”
“He’s totally lying. I dumped him.” Lilligant whispered from her seat. “Where’d he get that hat? It makes him look as serious as Tyranitar.”
“Y’know, I saw a hat just
like it at the hardware store
a week ago.” Throh hinted. “Hint hint, everything is at the hardware store!”
“The thrift store is better!”
As Lilligant and Throh were arguing about the more dominant type of stores, Hitmonchan shrugged and looked back at the panting, maniacle Ludicolo that looked like he could tear a pretty relaxing.”
“Be quiet, you ignoramus! If I can’t have my Lilligant, nobody will!”
“Woah there… You know there’s probably hundreds of other Lilligant in the world who would be exactly ecstatic if a pro wrestler like you were to date them…”
“Perhaps the same could be said for all Pokémon. Why don’t you
“Well, I’d rather not create any drama. You’re the single one, you can find one for yourself.”
“You’re just wasting time at this point! The banter ends here!” Ludicolo arranged his dark hat took a black rose out of it, looked at it, and then threw it aside. “I am Don Ludicolo. You stole my girlfriend. PREPARE TO DIE.”
“Come at me bro!”
After hearing the overused phrase, Hitmonchan did exactly that. Ludicolo used the same old Zen Headbutt as he did before. The champion blissfully hit back with a few Fire and Thunderpunches. “Fight me! Or else you will DIE!”
“You’re just full of overused phrases today, aren’t ya?”
The two continued to battle, with Ludicolo using mostly the same moves as before. He’d Taunt, and then use a Zen Headbutt, Scald, or Razor Leaf attack. As time passed, the champion did way more damage than Ludicolo did.
“For the last freakin’
time, the hardware store is the best store! People write SONGS about that store!”
“What if those songs are terrible?”
“No! There are awesome… Well there’s one awesome song! Search it on the internet!”
“Shouldn’t we be watching the fight? What if our Hitmonchan’s losing?”
“Oh the fight? Chan’s probably winning.” SMASH! “See! He just knocked that hat guy down!”
“Maaah…” Ludicolo used a quick Zen Headbutt when he got back up to battle, but failed to make contact. “I see you’ve learned much in your past two months of fighting competitively… But is that all
you’ve learned?” When the champ attempted a Thunderpunch, something out of the ordinary occurred.
This time, Ludicolo tried an entirely new tactic. Ludicolo used Counter by spinning away from the Thunderpunch, and coming back around to deliver a quick punch from the side. He did the same thing when the Fighting type tried a Fire Punch.
“Vamanos! Vamanos!” The match continued as he dodged an incoming punch, and countered. “Razor Leaf!”
Hitmonchan punched him beforehand for a Star and went for the uppercut. “SKY UPPERCUT!”
Ludicolo carefully moved to the right to avoid the commonly used uppercut. “Oo! Idiot… Venga! Venga!”
The Grass/Water type’s plan of attack was using Scald twice and then Razor Leaf, but those attacks were unsuccessful. So he went to his super-special attack.
“Uno! Dos! Tres!” He seemed to clap more aggressively than normal, but he looked the same as he used Ice Punch, but also used Teeter Dance at the same time. From Hitmonchan’s perspective, he saw a fat, duck monsters spinning on his toes frantically while occasionally pulling his arm out for an Ice Punch.
After an intense spin, the user was seeing stars. “Ah… I should’ve LEARned that move CORRECtly from Roseraaa-“
The champ used this opportunity to gains Stars, and a Sky Uppercut did quite a bit of damage. Not enough for a KO, but still quite a bit. All it took was a few more punches afterwards and Ludicolo went down. When he did get up, Ludicolo could only pull off a Zen Headbutt before the round ended.
“I am Don. Don Ludicolo.”
“Why yes you are… Don’t you have anything else to say?”
“I’m speaking less to conserve my energy…” Ludicolo had a silly, yet sadistic grin on his face. His panting was so quick and quiet that none could hear it. “Deep down inside I want to swear at you.”
“Oh. Well that’s good to know.”
“Every rose has its thorn, Chan.” Throh recited as he crunched on his nutty and delightful chocolate bar, “But then again not all thorns have roses… What I’m saying is, be that
thorn in Ludicolo’s side.”
“Judging by his actions, you’re already a thorn in his side.” Lilligant added.
“Take a chocolate bar!” Throh passed his apprentice an open bar of chocolate, but it was about 5% smaller than usual. “It’s a new brand. Has tons of potential in my opinion.”
The fighter tossed it into his mouth, chewed, and his eyes began to open from the sugary goodness. “Woah… This tastes great! I feel like all of my energy’s restored! Seriously! I’m completely revitalized, energized…” Hitmonchan stood up, and clenched his fist. He ready to fight, “…But I’m still hungry.”
Aside from a few grunts, Ludicolo said nothing as he stood up to battle his foe. He used Drain Punch twice before a tragedy happened. One specific Thunderpunch to the face from Hitmonchan tilted Ludicolo’s head at the worst-possible angle, causing his hat to disappear.
WHOOSH! The black sombrero Ludicolo was wearing was knocked several yards into the air. A Sharpedo leaped into the air and grabbed it with its fangs.
“Excellent!” The Sharpedo exclaimed in a surfer tone. “This hat is so
going on my wall!”
However, this did not anger Ludicolo, as there was another, smaller, straw hat under his original hat that was firmly on the Grass/Water type’s noggin.“Ah hah! I had a trick up my sleeve! I had TWO hats on! Quite a foolproof plan, yes?”
Hitmonchan waltzed over to the Grass/Water type, took his hat off, and threw it like a frisbee to Raichu. He tossed it up a few times in a “I don’t want this,” kind of matter, and threw it to the Magnezone who was recording the whole thing.
“Hey cool! A hat!” The Electric type turned to his assistant. “Gardevoir! We might be able to sell this for mad profit!”
“Not a half bad idea… I’ll check Terrakazon right now… No… Emolbay.” After a few clicks on her smartphone, Gardevoir was flipping through the pages of Emolbay, and with a search for ‘CPFA fighters,’ she was astounded by what she found. “O. M. G. I did not realize competitive fighters merchandise was this expensive.”
Lilligant turned her head when she heard the two reporters bumbling. “Oh hey it’s those two again. Haven’t seen them in forever.”
“Ack! Ha! ERGH! My foolproof plan has been fooled! FOOLPROOF PLANS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE FOOLED!” Ludicolo, in a rage, used Fury Swipes twice, even though the attacks were uneffective and resulted him getting a few punches. While mad, he tried something unexpected.
“Olé!” Ludicolo waggled his fist back and forth and punched Hitmonchan immensely hard using a Flail attack… Twice. This all happened in the span of just one second. Needless to say the champ couldn’t take such quick and harmful hits and fell.
“Perfecto…” Ludicolo wasn’t in a rage anymore, and used a Zen Headbutt right off the bat with no imput from the champion. He then used Scald twice, but failing to do damage. Right after this, he went for his most powerful attack.
“Uno! Dos! Tres! Quatro, cinco!” The opponent used his special move five times, but it ended up having no difference of an effect besides being more time consuming.
Hitmonchan blocked the incoming Drain Punch, and punched the confused duck for another Star. He also managed to counter a Razor Leaf for another. This all led up to the inevitable special attack when the Grass/Water type was stunned.
“SKY… UPPER… CUT!”
The Three-Star Sky Uppercut was just enough to knock down Ludicolo for a rather long count, but he was still up and at it after a bit. He could only pull off two Zen Headbutts, a Razor Leaf, and Counter (which hit) before the round ended.
“Don’t roses look so much more dramatic when they’re painted black?”
“I WASN’T ASKING YOU!” Ludicolo seemingly exploded at Throh’s answer. “Answer my question, Hitmonchan.”
“I guess they do? I’m not one for fashion sense.” Hitmonchan muttered.
“If and when I beat you, these are going back to being a sparkling red.” Ludicolo went back to admiring his black rose and began to sniff it.
“Let’s go, Chan! Dance like a Beautifly, and bite like a Masquerain. I’m talking about a BIG Masquerain, baby. A great, great, BIG one! As big as a chocolate cake! Chocolate cake… I’m gonna go grab some more chocolate bars.” The hungry Throh stood up to run to the nearest vending machine. Lilligant moved closer to Hitmonchan to whisper something into his ear.
“Do you want to know a secret about my old ex over there?”
“Ooh, secrets! Tell me!”
“He hates being attacked as he recovers from an attack.”
“That wasn’t much of a secret. I wanted a more jucier one…”
“Oh, and he’s afraid of Farfetch’d.”
When the battle began, Ludicolo used a Zen Headbutt, and it opened up the opportunity for him to use a Counter attack to surely hit his opponent. His Razor Leaf attack then led him to be able to use Zen Headbutt again.
“Woah, you’re just really spamming the combo attacks!”
“Come on! Come on! Want some more?”
Hitmonchan’s next punch forced Ludicolo to use Drain Punch. “Guess I’ll have to BREAK your COMBO!” Hitmonchan knocked the challenger to the right with a Fire Punch, then to the left with a Thunderpunch. Ludicolo blocked the next Fire Punch though.
He tried to combo him again by using Fire Punch, Thunderpunch, but then used Ice Punch. This kept him juggling in the air, further annoying the Grass/Water type. The pattern in Hitmonchan’s head was to use a jab, jab, and then a body blow. The cycle would then endlessly loop until Hitmonchan messed up.
“Uno! Dos! Tres! Quatro! Cinco!” Ludicolo used his final resort as the strongest Ice Punch and Teeter Dance combo that he could, but he missed every opportunity. After a few punches and the gain of a star, the champion finished him off.
“Augh!” Ludicolo was sent stepping backwards, and as he tried to come to his senses, he picked up the black rose he had in his sleeve, and fell on his back. “Aigh…” The rose bended down as if he was flat-out dead.
“Knockout! The winner is Little Hitmonchan!”
As the crowds screamed and screeched in love, Ludicolo crushed his rose before completely fainting. “Mac… will… fail…”
While the three began to head home, Throh started his usual "after a fight" routine/motivational speech. “Hey Hitmonchan! How did you get so good? Oh wait! I
trained you! Aha ha hah! Join Club Nintendo today, Chan!”
“I did that already…”
“Really? Well tell your sister to join it or something.”