Pokémon Chapters

[Hikozaru390]

Pokémon Chapters

Oh, forgot, this fiction is rated PG.

Note: This story takes place after/during the events of the TV series/games, and mixes the events of both. (Locations in the Anime do not exist, while characters and their interactions do.) Ash is 15 (at the start of Bryan's journey), and on a journey around the world, while Gary is still a Pokémon researcher. Just because they never state Ash and Gary have younger siblings, doesn't mean they don't exist, so THERE.

Prologue
Far far away, there is a world different from the one you and I both know. It is a world where anything can happen. A world where mice shoot electricity, where 10-year olds can gamble, and where evil could, and did, lurk in the most unexpected of places.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am talking about the magical world of Pocket Monsters, or Pokémon, as they are commonly known as. At this time, there are about 500 discovered Pokémon, with 151 native to each region. Each region has a Pokémon Professor who studies Pokémon, and works to discover new ones. These Professors are also assigned to give out Pokémon to new trainers every year.

Each year is a new chance for 3 lucky trainers to get their starter Pokémon, assuming they have already gotten their Trainer’s Cards, proof of them being Trainers. You see, not everyone can be an official Pokémon Trainer. You have to be at least 10 years old, and then you must pass a two-part exam. The first part is easy, assuming you studied. It’s a written exam, which differs for each region.

The second part, however, is where a Trainer’s skill is truly tested. Each aspiring Trainer gets three Pokémon and uses them in battle. Some trainers request battles against others, due to rivalries, or sometimes friendships. At this year’s test, three trainers, two from Pallet Town, and one a resident of Viridian City, got exceptional scores. At the top was a trainer wearing purple pants and a black t-shirt, with spiked light brown hair. The second was a girl with long brown hair. She wore a blue sleeveless shirt, and a pink skirt. The third, I don’t think any of the examiners will forget. He wore a black t-shirt with black wristbands, and wore a pair of blue jeans. He looked average at best, and compared to the other two trainers, that’s what his performance looked like. But this trainer made the barrier between the cream of the crop, and the rest of them. His brown hair spiked, but only at the back. The first thing he proclaimed is, “I want to be the best. I want to be a Pokémon master! Just like my mentor!” He refused to comment on who his mentor was, but he said that he would be the first great trainer to emerge from Pallet Town for five years.

In his final battle against the boy who placed first, whose name will be revealed in just a minute, he lost, but only by a little. His team, an Onix, a Gloom, and a Magnemite, did not do very good against the opposing team of Lapras, Magmar, and Tauros. Despite type differences, he did very good, good enough to get him into the top three.

Well, there’s the beginning of the story of the top three of their year. And maybe one of the best top threes to ever come out of the Pokémon Trainer’s Academy. Did that motivate you to do well? If not, then read this story, the story of the three trainers. But mainly the story of the one, and only, Bryan G. Oak of Pallet Town, who wanted to be the best, just like his mentor before him.


Chapter One: The Familiar Beginning
It was morning in Pallet Town, in the region of Kanto. It seemed like any normal morning, but it was far from normal for three special trainers. Because, at that moment, three children were receiving their starter Pokémon from Professor Samuel Oak, Pokémon Professor of Kanto. These children had arrived, at 9:00 sharp, to begin their journeys as Pokémon trainers. Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle, the three starter Pokémon, were chosen by the three Trainers, and after half an hour, Professor Oak sat down, delighted he had gotten through another year without another “Pikachu incident”.

However, after nearly another half hour passed, it was 9:55, and two alarms rang simultaneously. These alarms belonged to newly certified trainers Bryan Oak and his neighbor Maxwell Ketchum. Bryan pulled on a pair of blue jeans over the boxers he had put on the night before, and quickly put on his red overvest over his black t-shirt. He slipped on his black wristbands, and took his red hat from his dresser and placed it on his head, completing his ensemble. While this was being done, Max was putting on his signature pair of purple pants. Of course, it’s not really his signature, but rather the signature of Gary Oak, Max’s so-called “mentor”. Max then spiked his hair to match Gary’s, and then walked out the door of his house into the sunlight. “The sun’s a little high for only 9:00,” Max commented, but at that moment Bryan stepped out of his own house, identical to Max’s in every way. They nodded at each other, and raced down the short path to Professor Oak’s laboratory.

Upon stepping in, a large gray room, serving as the major laboratory, greeted them and all the way across the lab was Professor Samuel Oak, leader of the Pokémon Research Laboratory- Kanto Division.

“Professor!” Max yelled.

“Grandpa!” exclaimed Bryan at the same time.

“I need a Pokémon!”

Professor Oak looked down at them sadly, and then said, “Sorry, boys, I have no Pokémon left.”

“How could that be?” Bryan asked, “I woke up five minutes early. It should only be about 9:02.”

“Try 10:02, Bryan,” the Professor laughed, “daylight savings time sure messes things up now, doesn’t it? Well, I’ll tell you boys what. Since you two did so well at the exams, or so I’ve heard from your parents, as well as the examiner, I’m willing to take a chance. I made these two ready, in case you ended up like your brother,” the Professor shot a look at Max, while Bryan snickered, “and your mentor,” added Oak, quickly silencing Bryan. “These are two experimental Pokémon.”

Professor Oak went into a drawer, and pulled out two spheres. They were red and white, with a black stripe across the middle. He threw them both into the air, and they opened up, creating a blinding flash of white light. This light eventually merged into two creatures. The first was a yellow mouse-like creature with red circles on its cheeks. Those circles quickly shot out large sparks of electricity. It was called a Pikachu. The second one was unidentifiable as a normal animal, but to them it was just an Eevee. It was brown, and had a large tail. It had a mane of cream colored fur around it’s neck, and when it smiled, it bared unnatural fangs.

The Professor gave Bryan the Eevee and Max the Pikachu, which appeared to be the exact opposite of what they wanted. “Well, I know you want what the other has, but maybe this will motivate you to capture your own. Now, let me give you some other things.”

The Professor took out twelve more spheres, but these were smaller. He gave six to Bryan, and six to Max. “Take these Pokéballs. Just press the button in the middle to enlarge them.” He then took out two handheld devices. They were red, with a 4-way control pad jutting out, and a flip top. “This Pokédex is not the newest model, and only holds information on Kanto’s native Pokémon.”

“Why would you do that?” Max asked.

“Good question. Mainly because I don’t want you going into the other regions before completing your goals in this one, do you understand?” They both nodded. “Good. You can call me at any Pokémon Center if you are confused. Good luck.”

They both shook Professor Oak’s hand, and then picked up their Pokémon, which was a big mistake. Eevee bit Bryan on the arm, while Pikachu shocked Max. What’s more, the Pokémon refused to return to their Pokéballs. “If it’s too much to handle boys,” the Professor mocked, “you could always try again next year.”

“No way!” They exclaimed, and left the lab, despite the pain they were in. Bryan was walking, Eevee latched on to his legs, when he decided to take out Eevee’s Pokéball. He repeatedly threw it at Eevee, eventually knocking it off his leg, but Eevee did not want to go in. Then Bryan threw the ball a little too hard, and Eevee jumped up, and tried to whip Bryan’s face with his tail. Bryan ducked, and instead Eevee hit a nest up in the tree. A nest filled with baby pigeon-like birds, called Pidgey. Suddenly three fully-grown Pidgey appeared, and proceeded to Peck at Bryan and Eevee. They began to run, but Eevee turned around and began to kick sand in the Pidgey’s faces. This only further aggravated the Pidgey. They began to make their attacks fiercer and fiercer, when suddenly Eevee couldn’t take it anymore.

It jumped onto one of the Pidgey, which was a little smaller than it was, and bit it. Hard. The Pidgey fell down without a fight. You can guess how well the other two took it. Eevee bit one in the tail, and then, when it didn’t faint, Tail Whipped it in the face, sending it straight towards Eevee’s Pokéball, which was lying on the ground, abandoned. The ball immediately captured the Pidgey.

Eevee was then left with the last Pidgey. Bryan realized that Eevee might listen to commands, so he decided to take a chance, and told Eevee to use Tail Whip again. Eevee jumped up and hit Pidgey in the face. Bryan then commanded Eevee to use Bite, and Eevee bit the Pidgey, and it critically hit, immediately fainting the Pidgey.

No other Pidgey came out, so Bryan cautiously walked over to the abandoned Pokéball and accidentally released Pidgey. He saw how weak it was, so he returned it to the Pokéball. “Well, I guess that wasn’t by luck, Eevee, was it? After all, we battled it and won handily. We deserve a reward. And my first capture was with you, buddy!”

Eevee hopped up and down, and then leaped towards Bryan, biting him on the arm. “Well…good friend…we’re in for one heck of an adventure, that’s for sure!”


Note: This story is not a parody of the anime, and tends to lean more towards the games. This chapter, however, became a parody of the first episode. I still don't know why.

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 2: A Little Research
While Bryan was walking on Route 1, he decided to delve into the Pokédex’s features. Upon being booted up, the Pokédex displayed Bryan’s Trainer Card, which showed a picture of him from the academy, and in two small boxes, his Eevee and Pidgey. It asked if this information was correct, and Bryan confirmed it, activating the Pokédex. It included a map that showed the whole Kanto region, and where he was, about a quarter of the way up Route 1.

He went back into his virtual Trainer’s Card and highlighted his Eevee. He learned that Eevee’s attacks were Bite, Tail Whip, and Sand Attack. He then learned that Pidgey’s attacks were Peck, Wing Attack, and Gust. He then noticed that his Pidgey was almost strong enough to evolve. “No wonder it was so protective,” commented Bryan, “it must have been the parent.” He then closed the Pokédex and took Eevee off of his shoulder and into his arms. Eevee was panting heavily. “What’s wrong Eevee?” Bryan then realized Eevee must have been tired from the battle with the three Pidgey. Bryan ran the rest of the path to Viridian City, and entered the Pokémon Center.

He entered the Pokémon center and quickly walked up to the front desk, asking Nurse Joy to heal his Eevee and Pidgey. She took Eevee and Pidgey’s Pokéball and gave them both to a Chansey for healing.

Meanwhile, Bryan accessed the Public Computer in the corner and connected to the Pokémon Worldwide Web. While gathering information about the Kanto region, he saw a link to a region called Orre. Upon clicking the link, he learned that Orre was a region with very few wild Pokémon. It was mainly desert, but it had made many advancements in technology. The only way to get there, however, was kept a secret between scientists. “Hmm…” wondered Bryan, “Gary should know. I’ll ask him, and maybe I’ll visit once I’ve beaten the Elite Four and all of the Pokémon and Johto league gym leaders, I’ll give it a visit.”

He started to search for more information, but Nurse Joy announced that his Pokémon were done healing, so he took them, exited the Pokémon Center and got on Route 2 to head for Pewter City.

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 3: Discovery in the Forest! A New Capture?
As Bryan got further down Route 2, he entered a forest unlike which he had never seen. It had large trees that towered over him at maybe 30 feet tall. The trees were so big, little light made it in to the forest at all. Eevee was whimpering at the sight of the trees, and the angry looking Kakuna and Beedrill in the trees, so Bryan carefully placed Eevee inside of his backpack.

As he went on further, Bryan saw a group of Beedrill fighting against a group of Pikachu. The Pikachu were all lined up, like a little army, when they all used one continuous Thundershock, frying all of the Beedrill. The Pikachu then smiled fiercely and victoriously, and went back into the wild grass. However, there was one little Pikachu that was whimpering and looked very injured. This Pikachu was not only smaller, its head was rounder and it had a lighter shade yellow.

“That’s not a Pikachu,” Bryan eventually figured out, “it’s a Pichu. And it looks really hurt! I should take it to a Pokémon Center!”

Bryan scooped up the Pichu in his arms and ran. He ran past the gigantic trees, and ran right out of the forest. He ran past the Trainers on Route 2 looking for a challenge (against Trainer rules, but this was an emergency!), and ran right past the man welcoming him to Pewter City. He ran right past that all, and into the Pewter City Pokémon Center. Bryan then, gasping for air, told Nurse Joy that this was an emergency, and that that Pichu needed to be healed right away. Nurse Joy took the Pichu and quickly got a team of Chansey out to take Pichu to the Emergency Room.

While Bryan was waiting, a man came up to him and asked if he wanted his picture taken. Bryan said yes and pulled Eevee out of his backpack. He set Eevee down in front of him, and Eevee looked fiercely at the camera. Once the picture was taken, Bryan uploaded the picture onto the PWW and it appeared on his new Trainer Card.

Bryan waited around some more, and it was finally nighttime, so he went to the second floor and slept in the lodging section up there. The next morning he went downstairs, and the fully healed Pichu leapt up into Bryan’s arms, and latched on to his Pokéball. The ball immediately opened up, sucking Pichu into it. Pichu put up no fight, so Bryan made his second capture.

“Next up for me is a trip to the Pewter Museum of Science, and then, my first badge!”

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 4: Pewter at last!

“Finally, I’m in Pewter City!” Bryan exclaimed, as he entered the large city. “First, I’m going to go to the Museum!” Bryan sped through the town, right past Pewter City gym, until he arrived at the Pewter Museum of Science. He entered, and after paying the 50 Pokédollars, Bryan released Pichu from it’s Pokéball, and it along with Eevee stayed at Bryan’s side while he showed them the museum’s contents. He saw a model space shuttle, Pokémon fossilized remains, as well as a stone that was said to have fallen from the moon itself.

Upstairs, there was also a large room for little kids and Pokémon to play, so Bryan took his Pokémon there, and released Pidgey. He saw another trainer, a girl with long, dark brown hair that flowed down to her mid-torso. Upon it she wore an official Pokémon Trainer’s sunhat. She wore a bright blue tank top, and a red skirt. She had a yellow purse slung around her shoulder and wore white shoes with a red stripe down the middle, and long bright blue socks, the same color as her shirt. “Hi, I remember seeing you at the Pokémon Academy. You were third, right? You were pretty good. My name’s Bryanna, by the way.”

“That’s odd. Mine is Bryan. Thanks for the compliment, now, let’s have a battle!”

“What?”

“You heard me! Let’s do this! Gather up your Pokémon! Eevee, come here!” After saying that and his Eevee faithfully returning to his side, Bryan took out two Pokéballs and squeezed both of them, sending a bright red laser at Pidgey and Pichu, returning them to their respective Pokéballs.

“Alright! Come back, Jigglypuff! You too, Spearow and Magnemite!” Her three Pokéballs all shot out bright red light at her three playing Pokémon and returned them to their “homes”. Once they were outside of the museum, however, Bryanna quickly sent Jigglypuff back out, to which Bryan promptly sent his Eevee into battle. Bryan commanded Eevee to use bite, and upon hearing his command, Eevee opened up his jaws and…

Bit into Bryan’s leg. “Ouch! That hurt!” Bryan exclaimed. “I meant bite the Jigglypuff!” Eevee quickly turned around, widening it’s jaws to almost the size of it’s own head, and took a large bite out of Jigglypuff. Since Jigglypuff is such a small Pokémon, it immediately fainted.

“Your Eevee is pretty strong! Stronger than I would have expected” Bryanna exclaimed, “Oh, well. I send out Magnemite!” To that, Bryan quickly switched out Eevee for Pichu. “What are you up to…” wondered Bryanna, “now their attacks will be weak against each other…” Despite this setback, Bryanna commanded her Magnemite to use Shock Wave. Magnemite gathered electricity on it’s twin magnets around it’s orb shaped body. It then sent the two blasts of lightning directly at Pichu. Pichu faltered back, but quickly got up and used Quick Attack.

“Hey, Pichu, I didn’t command you to use that!” This time, it was Magnemite who was knocked down. “Um…I mean…good job Pichu!” Upon hearing the praise from it’s master, Pichu jumped up and down, allowing Magnemite to attack again. This time, Pichu used Thunder. The two attacks collided in an explosion, and both Pokémon were knocked out.

“This isn’t fair!” Bryanna squealed, “You’re only winning by luck! Go, Spearow! Quickly, use Wing Attack!” However, Bryan had already switched to Pidgey, which was now facing the full-powered attack. “Ah, I see your strategy now Bryan. Match up the Pokémon.”

“That’s right. You catch on quickly. Use peck, Pidgey!”

“Heh, he can match up Pokémon, but I can match up moves,” Bryanna whispered, “Quickly, Spearow, Mirror Move!” Bryanna’s Spearow glowed for a second, and then sped ahead at Pidgey, clashing it’s beak with Pidgey’s. They had their beaks locked in battle for what seemed to be a lifetime, but Spearow’s beak was just too strong, and it put a large crack through Pidgey’s before sending it hurtling to the Earth. Pidgey refused to quit, however, and sped back up to the sky, ignoring Bryan’s cries, trying for a Wing Attack. However, Spearow, also disregarding it’s mistress, mirrored that too, and Pidgey’s wing was promptly broken, sending it back to the planet below. Pidgey sped back up once more, flailing it’s right wing to make up for the broken left one. Pidgey then hovered at Spearow’s level for a few seconds, and then used Gust. Spearow mirrored it, and unfortunately, Pidgey lost out again, being sent down to the Earth in the opposite direction and being left in a cloud of dust. Just when Spearow was flying in circles, thinking it had won…

A Pidgeotto sped up in the sky, stabbing Spearow in the stomach with a distinctive cracked beak. Unfortunately for Spearow, unlike Pidgey’s battle style, Pidgeotto’s was a lot more vicious, still pecking at Spearow, even when it had fainted and was falling to the ground.

“Enough, Pidgey, or should I say Pidgeotto! Return!” Both Bryan and a sobbing Bryanna sent red beams from their Pokéballs, bringing back their injured Pokémon. “Sorry, Bryanna. I hope your Spearow heals.”

“Easy for you to say!” Bryanna shrieked, “Your Pokémon is only mildly injured! Mine could be lethal! You destroyed my career, Bryan Oak, and if I ever get the chance, I will destroy YOURS! I never want to see you again, Bryan Oak, and if I do, you’re going down!”

And with that, he earned a new rival.

Later, at the Pokémon Center…

“Sure, I’ll heal your Pidgeotto.” A cheerful nurse named Joy said. She pressed a red button and a large pink Pokémon with a pouch and an egg inside came in with a stretcher, put the injured Pidgeotto, and went back into the emergency room.

“Um, Nurse Joy, did a girl trainer with a white sunhat come in here?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, she came in and wanted immediate speed treatment. She had a Spearow in need of stitches, and we quickly stitched it up and sent her on her way. Why? Do you know her?”

“Um…yeah, she’s my…um…sister.” Bryan stammered, and then quickly went over to the PC. He accessed the phone channel, and called his brother, Gary Oak. After a brief spout of snow, the TV screen showed the indefinite face of the Pokémon researcher. He had a blue lab coat on and appeared to be in the desert.

“Hey, bro! What’s up? I can’t tell you where I am, but I can tell you I have made some real advances in technology! Right now, I’m working on a machine that can clone legendary Pokémon. We’re almost done, and will be selling it to the highest bidder in an upcoming auction on Cinnabar Island! So, what’s with the getup? I guess it’s the typical trainer outfit nowadays since Red won the Pokémon League years back. What’s your rival dress in?”

“Oh, she dresses in an outfit typical of Leaf. The white sun-hat, bright blue tank top, etcetera.”

“Wait…she? Did you get a new rival? I was talking about Max! Remember Max? You’ve been rivals since you were kids? Lives right next door? Idolizes me? How does he dress? How‘s he doing?”

“Oh, right. He actually dresses the same as you.”

“So, I’m that much of an influence, heh. I’ll have to meet with him. I heard on the news he won the lottery in Celadon City.”

“Celadon City!? I’m only in Pewter City! How does he always get so far ahead of me??? I gotta go, sorry Gary!”

“But don’t you want to know about-”

Bryan returned his healed Pidgeotto to it’s Pokéball and ran out of the Pokémon Center, determined to make it to the Pewter City Gym and get his first Pokémon League badge!

He quickly arrived at the Pewter City Gym and demanded to see the Gym Leader, Brock. The other trainers training their rock-type Pokémon quickly protested, demanding to battle Bryan. Bryan simply sent out his Pichu, who used an extremely powerful thunder attack, severely injuring most of the trainers. Bryan was truly amazed at how strong and unpredictable this baby Pokémon was. However, he didn’t have much time to think, because the floor, consisting of a large rocky plain began parting, and a Pokémon battle field was revealed underneath. On that field was a man with short spiked brown hair. His jacket was short sleeved, and dominantly brown, with a touch of orange on the top. He wore olive green pants, and hiking boots. His eyes appeared to be closed, but he was actually squinting. It was none other than the Pewter City Gym Leader: Brock!

“Ah, so you must be Brock! I challenge you to a Pokémon battle!”

“I accept your challenge. If you win, you will receive the Boulder Badge as proof of your defeating this gym. We begin our battle now.”

They walked to their respective standing squares, and began the battle. Brock sent out a Pokémon consisting of what appeared to be a gray boulder with eyes and arms. Bryan quickly whipped out his Pokédex for information. “Geodude: The Rock Pokémon. Geodude is found in fields and mountains. Mistaking them for boulders, people often pick them up or step on them.” Bryan sent out Eevee, and commanded it to use Bite. Eevee knew of the serious nature of this battle, so he obeyed Bryan, and opened his large jaws, and sank his teeth into the Geodude, made entirely of rock. Eevee’s teeth came close to shattering, so Bryan quickly sprayed a Potion he had on Eevee’s teeth. He then took a time out to ponder what Pokémon he should use.

“Pidgeotto is weak already, plus flying types are weak against ground types. However, Pichu is an electric type, which is also weak. However, Pichu is very unpredictable, and it could pull a new move or something out of it’s hat, so I may as well use Pichu.”

Bryan sent out his Pichu, who used another powerful Thunder attack, and burned the weak Geodude. “You won’t believe this, but that’s the second time a trainer has done that. If it was a Pikachu, and you were wearing a blue jacket, the parallels would just be odder…Oh well, go, Steelix!”

Upon saying this, and squeezing his Pokéball, a gigantic Pokémon consisting of giant silver boulders, all connected with a large, flat one as it’s head appeared. Bryan used his Pokédex, but the only information it could give was “Sorry. Pokémon unknown. Pokémon not originated in the Kanto region.” Bryan, annoyed, slammed the Pokédex shut, shouting, “You’d think by now Grandpa would have made a universal Pokédex! Maybe he’s just holding out on me! But I think Steelix is evolved from Onix, so…” Bryan quickly re-opened the Pokédex, using the alphabetical function to find #95, Onix. Onix was similar in appearance to Steelix, but a completely different type, judging by the names.

“I must notify you, Bryan Gary Oak, that your challenge will be forfeited if you do not continue the battle.”

“Alright, Pichu, um…attack?” Pichu was confused, but while it wondered what to do, Steelix reached out it’s tail and squeezed Pichu.

“This is giving me déj?* vu too!” Brock excitedly exclaimed. “I wonder if…no, you couldn’t be related to him…”

Steelix continued squeezing Pichu, when Bryan, remembering what his old mentor, who Brock kept oddly mentioning, told him about his Pikachu. Bryan remembered that it had the move Agility. “Pichu! Use Agility! Now!” Pichu began moving it’s legs extremely quickly. It failed to remember it was being squeezed to near-death by a 30-foot tall boulder, but that was just as well, because all the friction created heat. And steel-types are weak against fire-type attacks. Steelix yelped, and quickly let go of Pichu, giving Pichu the chance to run up it’s back and use Shock Wave on the two antennae on Steelix’s head. Steelix fell to the ground in a large cloud of dust. Pichu jumped away, before hopping up and down happily, and jumping into Bryan’s arms. Bryan hugged it for a second, provoking Eevee’s biting wrath, before setting it down and shaking Brock’s hand.

Brock sighed, and almost smiled, before saying, “Though it’s not as lucky as sprinklers going off, Steelix is unable to battle, and Pichu wins. Bryan Oak, you win the Boulder Badge, as well as another reward, that you may miss if you don’t look at your Pichu.” Bryan quickly looked down at it’s Pichu, which now had it’s ears growing longer, as well as it’s tail. It’s fur turned a darker shade of yellow, and it’s body expanded. Pichu had evolved into Pikachu! “Congratulations, you have won the Pewter Gym challenge. I reward you a TM with the move Rock Tomb. Maybe you can sell it, because I doubt you’ll use it. I swear, you remind me of that trainer so much…”

“It’s okay, Brock. He was my mentor. I learned a lot from him. He told me about you too, Mr. Ladies Man.”

Brock grew a smile on his face, and said, “If you ever see your mentor again, give him a hello. From Brock. Brock Harrison.”

“I will, Brock Harrison, I will.”

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 5: Double capture on Mount Moon!
As Bryan left Pewter Gym, he viewed his Pokédex’s map, and found his next destination to be Mt. Moon, right outside of Pewter City. As he made his way to the entrance, he found a Bulbasaur blocking the way. “Hello, little Bulbasaur. I need to go in there. Can you please move?” Bryan used in a tone he had learned from his older sister. However, the Bulbasaur ran forward and jumped on Bryan’s shoulder, where Eevee was perched. Eevee was yawning at that time, so it’s mouth was wide open when Bulbasaur collided with Eevee, who immediately clamped down on Bulbasaur. As far as Bulbasaur cared, this was a battle! Eevee jumped down, and, obeying Bryan’s command, sped forward and used Tail Whip, slapping Bulbasaur in the face with his large tail. Bulbasaur shrugged the attack off and used Leech Seed, spitting a seed from the large bulb on it back, and attaching it to Eevee. Eevee’s health was then sapped by the seed, making Bulbasaur stronger. Eevee’s next command was Quick Attack, when Eevee moved his feet quickly and slammed into Bulbasaur. While Bulbasaur was off guard, Eevee once again used Bite, biting the bulb on Bulbasaur’s back, weakening it. Bryan then threw a Pokéball at the Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur turned into a flash of light, and swirled around in the ball before it clamped shut. The ball shook once…twice…three times before stopping. Bryan had captured a Bulbasaur!

With the Bulbasaur now out of the way, Bryan entered the cave of Mt. Moon. There were small lanterns hanging upon the cave walls due to “The shortage of the HM Flash,” according to the sign outside of Mt. Moon. The mountain exploration was relatively uneventful. The rumors Bryan had heard of Team Rocket rejects who still faithfully followed the disbanded team living inside Mt. Moon were false, and he made it through the cave with no disruption. That is, until he came to the exit. At the exit of the cave, there were two fossils, a dome fossil and a helix fossil. Bryan wanted both. He picked up the dome fossil, and while he was reaching for the helix fossil…

A tail with a flame on the tip swiped at his hand, severely burning it. The tail belonged to an angry Charmander who obviously lived in the mountain. Bulbasaur must have seen it from it’s Pokéball, because Bulbasaur popped out of it’s ball and began talking with Charmander. “Bulba…Bulba bulbasaur…”

“Char. Char char charmander.”

“Bulba. Bulba bulbasaur!”

“CHAR! CHARMANDER!”

Obviously Bulbasaur had said something to enrage Charmander, because after it shouted, it spat fire from it’s mouth in an Ember attack! Grass types are weak against fire types, so Bulbasaur fainted, and Bryan returned it to it’s Pokéball. Then, Bryan sent out his fully healed Pidgeotto to battle. Pidgeotto barely had any flying space, but it used Gust and nearly blew out the flame on Charmander’s tail that kept it alive! Bryan knew from his grandfather that a Charmander could die if it’s flame went out, so Bryan quickly threw a Pokéball. It shook once…twice…three times, but then, just when Bryan was sure it had captured Charmander, it popped back out again, it’s flame blazing! This Charmander was persistent. But, unfortunately, so was Pidgeotto. Grown stubborn from it’s battle with Spearow, Pidgeotto flapped it’s wings until the flame on Charmander’s tail was barely noticeable. Bryan quickly called Pidgeotto back and threw another Pokéball. This time, it captured Charmander without fail. Bryan had caught a Charmander and now could leave Mt. Moon.



Or so he thought…when Bryan reached into his pocket to get his Pokédex, he found that it wasn’t there. Bryan was hysterical. All his information, his identification, his Pokémon information, his map, everything was gone! He quickly ran back into the cave to retrieve his Pokédex. His Bulbasaur popped out of it’s Pokéball, quickly running behind Bryan. It used it’s Vine Whip to search under rocks, until it found the Pokédex under a round boulder. It called Bryan over, and was pulling the Pokédex out, when…

Arms and eyes popped out of the boulder! It was a Geodude! It had the Pokédex in one of his hands, when Bulbasaur slapped it with a Vine Whip. It was super effective, instantly knocking the Geodude out. Just when Bryan reached for the Pokédex, a lot of other Geodudes revealed themselves. Using hard work and determination, Bulbasaur defeated all of them. Just when Bryan thought he was done, a giant Geodude with 4 arms appeared! The Pokédex, however, opened up automatically and said, “Graveler: The Strong Rock Pokémon. It rolls down slopes to move. It rolls over any object without slowing or changing it’s direction.” Bryan was impressed, especially because the Pokédex had shown that it was a high-level Pokémon before closing itself. However, Bulbasaur wrapped it’s two Vine Whips around the Graveler and continuously slammed it on the ground, eventually causing it to faint.

Bryan finally picked up his Pokédex, and he stopped to admire it’s simple nature. It’s only button was a control pad that stuck out on the bottom. It had a cover that could easily flip up, and a blue light to indicate that a Pokémon has been scanned. Bryan stuck the Pokédex back into his pocket, strolled out of Mt. Moon, ran right through Route 4 until he arrived in Cerulean City, home of the Cerulean City bicycle shop and the Cerulean City Gym. “Cascade Badge, here I come!”

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 6: Waterside Tangle!
As Bryan arrived in Cerulean City, he noticed that the city had a river surrounding it, where many elegant species of Water Pokémon swam in joy and elegance. He began to imagine incredible dreams of capturing all these Pokémon, having Magicarp, Goldeen, Seaking, Squirtle, Psyduck, Poliwag, as well as many other. He reached for his balls pocket of his backpack, and he noticed that he only had one Pokéball left. “I better make this one count!” He took the ball out, wound his arm back, thrust it forward and…

A brown-haired girl in a blue two-piece bathing suit slapped his arm, knocking his Pokéball back into his backpack. “Hey!” Bryan yelled, irritated, “I wanted to catch a Pokémon! I’m a trainer!”

“I know, but these are protected waters. You need to have a permit to fish in them. I’ll give you one if you can beat me in a battle.”

“I accept your challenge! How many Pokémon do you have?”

“I have three on hand. All water types!”

“It’s typical. You’re probably a trainer at the Gym. I bet I can beat you with one Pokémon.”

“If you’re sure. Okay! Let’s battle!”

The girl stepped backwards and threw a Pokéball into the water. There was a flash, the ball flew back into the girl’s hand, and a Goldeen swam up in the water. Bryan squeezed his Pokéball, and his Bulbasaur popped out. The gold fish with a horn jumped out of the water and used Horn Drill. Bulbasaur was partially hurt, but quickly recovered and obeyed Bryan’s command to use Leech Seed. The seed sapped Goldeen’s energy and returned it to Bulbasaur. Goldeen quickly fainted, since it didn’t have a lot of health. The girl quickly released another Pokémon into the water, this time it was a yellow duck that stood on it’s hind legs. Bryan quickly reached for his Pokédex, which stated, “Psyduck: The Duck Pokémon. This Pokémon constantly has a headache. When the headache intensifies, it uses amazing powers.” But this Psyduck sure didn’t appear to have amazing powers, since it was clutching it’s head in pain. Bulbasaur used Leech Seed again, but the seed didn’t attach to Psyduck. Bulbasaur continuously whipped Psyduck with it’s Vine Whip, damaging the Psyduck, but also increasing it’s headache. Bulbasaur got very angry, and began to secrete a purple powder from the large bulb on it’s back. Bulbasaur had learned Poison Powder! It continuously damaged Psyduck, but just when Psyduck was about to faint…

It glowed and began to grow, but the girl yelled, “No, Psyduck, don’t evolve!”, at which point the Psyduck reverted back to it’s original form. Psyduck had glowing eyes, however, and used Psychic attack, heavily damaging Bulbasaur. However, Psyduck fainted from the poison.
“Bulbasaur, are you okay?” Asked a worried Bryan. Bulbasaur nodded, but it was clearly hurt. Bryan searched in his backpack, but quickly yelled, “Darn! I don’t have any potions!”

The girl just laughed and said, “Well, you’re going to need one after I send out my next Pokémon. Go, Gyarados!” Upon saying this, a large, blue, serpent-like Pokémon flew out and yelled. Gyarados used Hyper Beam, causing Bulbasaur to keep jumping out of the way, but it eventually got hit and was knocked back into the river.

“No! Bulbasaur!”

The girl now had a worried look on her face and said, “Maybe we should end the battle now. I’ll just give you the permit, and-”

“No!” Bryan interrupted, “Bulbasaur will make it up! I don’t need your pity! Come on, Bulbasaur! You can do it!” Hearing Bryan’s cries, the Pokémon gained confidence and pushed itself to the top of the water. The first thing Bryan, the girl, and Gyarados saw were Razor Leaves cutting Gyarados’ tail. “Hey, Bulbasaur, you learned Razor Leaf!” Just then, Bryan’s Pokémon popped out of the water. It now had blue skin, the bulb had begun to flower, and had a tall pink bud sticking out, with four straight leaves protruding from it. It was also bigger. Bryan’s Bulbasaur was now an Ivysaur! Ivysaur jumped out of the water, continuously attacking Gyarados with Razor Leaves. It relentlessly attacked, until Gyarados eventually just fell over, but winked at Ivysaur before “fainting.”

The girl was thoroughly shocked, but said, “Well, I won’t break my promise. I’ll give you a permit, plus something extra.” She put a card in his hand, as well as a tear-drop shaped badge.

“Is this the Cascade Badge? Don’t you need this to enter the Pokémon League?”

“Don’t you get it, stupid?” The girl appeared to scratch her neck, but her hair fell into her hand, revealing flaming orange hair put into a cut off pigtail.

“You’re Misty!”

“Ding-ding! We have a winner! You beat a Gym Leader. The Gym’s closed for renovations, so I challenge people this way. Though I don’t usually use a disguise, I thought it would be better if you didn’t know who I was. Here. Cascade Badge. You’ve earned it.”

There was a gleam in Bryan’s eyes as he stuck the badge between his index finger and thumb, stuck his hand out and yelled, “I got the Cascade Badge!”

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 7: Bill, the Pokémon Researcher
As Bryan gazed at his Cascade Badge, he realized that his Ivysaur was probably injured, so he ran off to the Pokémon Center, leaving Misty to sit by the water. “How rude…” While at the Pokemon center, he left his Ivysaur there, since it would take it a long time to heal, and headed north, to the home of Bill, the famous Pokémon researcher. As he left the city, he came upon the Nugget Bridge, where 5 trainers were standing in line, probably all waiting to battle him. Just as Bryan stepped on the bridge, he remembered he wanted to catch a water Pokémon, so he took out his last Pokéball, and took a second to think. “Hey!” He exclaimed, “Didn’t I have 6 Pokéballs? If I’ve only used 4, shouldn’t I have 2 left? I must have dropped one back in Mt. Moon!”

Just then, his Pokédex beeped. Bryan flipped it open, and it relayed the message: “Recently captured Pokémon sent to PC box 1. To withdraw this Pokémon, please visit the nearest Pokémon Center.” Bryan closed his Pokédex, and realized he was on his way to meet the person who invented the Pokémon Box system. Bryan started throwing the Pokéball up in the air, and on the third throw, a head popped out of the water. Bryan didn’t notice, as he was pondering what Pokémon he was going to catch. The head creeped closer, and closer, when suddenly, a Squirtle popped out of the water, and was heading straight for Bryan’s Pokéball!

Bryan yelled, “Hey! Stop!”, but it didn’t deter the Squirtle, already airborne, from activating the Pokéball’s capture mechanism, and having itself in captivity. Just as Bryan was wondering why it wanted to be captured, a person came out of the water, covered in mud! It was Professor Oak! “Grandpa?” Bryan asked, confused.

“You crazy kid, I needed that Pokémon to--- Oh, it’s you, Bryan! I was going to capture that starter to give to new trainers, but I guess you can have it. How’s your journey going? Can I see your Pokémon?”

“Alright! Come on…OUT!” Bryan pointed forward and Eevee hopped off of his shoulder, and ran forward a little before screeching to a halt, and sitting down. Bryan threw two Pokéballs into the air, sending out Pidgeotto, which flew up in a spiraling formation before speeding down to the ground level, and Pikachu, which was in the air, and then used it’s Quick Attack to speed forward onto the bridge. Bryan then sent out 3 Pokéballs at once. Ivysaur appeared, and twirled it’s razor leaves around it’s body. Charmander spit small fireballs into the air, and the newly captured Squirtle withdrew into it‘s shell.

“Amazing. You have the same pattern of Pokémon as the one you look up to, but you decided to evolve one.”

“I’m trying to evolve Charmander and now Squirtle as well, but they haven’t had many chances to battle.”

“Alright, well, here are some. There are 5 trainers on this bridge, who all want to battle! I hope you’re prepared. I won’t keep you. Good bye!” Professor Oak threw an odd-looking Pokéball at Bryan, and then sank back into the river.

“Well, let’s get started with the Nugget Bridge Challenge!” Bryan returned his Pokémon, then walked forward a few steps before being challenged by a bug catcher.

“Let’s battle! I’m the first challenger!” The bug-catcher sent out a Caterpie, while Bryan sent out his Charmander. Bryan commanded Charmander to use Ember, and it spit out tiny fireballs, which were super effective against Caterpie. Since the Pokémon was so weak, it immediately fainted. “That’s all for me.” The trainer said. Bryan was surprised, but unfortunately, all of the battles went that way. Charmander would use Ember, and the Pokémon would faint.

Then Bryan came to battler #5, a Pokémon Ranger with orange hair down to his shoulders. The Ranger sent out a Butterfree, but Bryan wasn’t threatened. He just sent out Charmander. Then the Butterfree used Stun Spore. Charmander was Paralyzed, and barely able to move. However, Charmander used Ember, burning the Butterfree, and causing it to faint.

The next Pokémon the Ranger sent out was a green Pokémon with wings and swords for hands. Bryan took out his Pokédex, which flipped open, saying, “Scyther: The Mantis Pokémon. Scyther tears and shreds prey with it’s wickedly sharp scythes. It can spread it’s wings to fly.” Scyther flew into the air, and then flew down towards Charmander, using Slash to damage it. Charmander fought back, using Ember to burn Scyther. Scyther’s wing was on fire, so the Ranger put a metallic coat on it to heal the burn.

What the Ranger didn’t know was that it was a Metal Coat, which could evolve Scyther into Scizor. The coat caused Scyther to glow, eventually turning into an olive green Pokémon with large claws: A Scizor. As usual, Bryan’s Pokédex could not identify the Johto-native Pokémon. Scizor used Slash once again, cutting across Charmander’s chest. It then coated it’s claws in metal and slashed Charmander. Scizor had used Metal Claw! Bryan commented on this by saying, “Hm, Metal Claw…an interesting attack. But it won’t do any good against Charmander’s EMBER!!!” Since Scizor was now a bug and steel type, the attack was doubly super effective, causing Scizor to faint.

The Ranger’s last Pokémon was one Bryan had seen before and knew quite well. It was a green Bulbasaur! Bulbasaur used Poison Powder, spitting purple powder from it’s dark green bulb. Charmander tried to dodge it, but it was still paralyzed, and was frozen in place, taking the full hit of the powder. It coughed, and seemed to be in immense pain, and then fell to the ground. However, it began to grow and darken in scale color. It’s head grew a horn, and the blaze on it’s tail ignited stronger than ever. Charmander had evolved into Charmeleon…and it was not happy. As soon as it got up, it spit out a large spinning cyclone of fire. It was a Fire Spin attack, and Bulbasaur was caught in a ring of fire! Charmeleon then began to use Scratch, but it’s claws became coated in metal. Charmeleon learned Metal Claw! And it was fiercely slashing Bulbasaur, who, with the fire spin trapping it, was not boding well. Eventually, Bulbasaur’s HP gave out, and it fainted.

The Ranger was incredibly disappointed, but he gave up the gold nugget he was carrying, and went down by the river. Meanwhile, Bryan sent his Charmeleon back to it’s Pokéball, and walked the short path to the house of Bill, the famous Pokémon researcher. Once he arrived, he released all of his Pokémon for Bill’s examination.

“Hmm. Most of your Pokémon have recently evolved, am I correct?”

“Yes."

“And when did you start your journey?”

“Yesterday morning.”

“You're quite the trainer to catch 5 Pokémon in two days! Well, it’s getting rather late. You should rest. But let me have a look at that Eevee as well as your Squirtle. They interest me.”

“All right.”

Bryan went to the second floor, up to the guest room, settled into bed with his recently evolved Pokémon surrounding him, and went to sleep. That night, oddly, he dreamed about a duo of bad people coming to take Eevee and all of his other Pokémon away. He then quickly shook off the dream and woke up, and went downstairs with the rest of his Pokémon to see Bill.

“So, what do you think of my Eevee and Squirtle?”

“Well, your Squirtle is very young, and it has to go through a lot of training before it can even muster up the courage to use any attack other than Withdraw. Now, your Eevee on the other hand, is extremely powerful. It’s teeth are very sharp, which I learned countless times. Unfortunately, it’s only other attacks are Tail Whip and Sand-Attack, but the good news is that if your Eevee trains enough, these attacks can be upgraded. It has a lot of potential, with 7 discovered evolutions as well. Combined with it’s strength and will, your Eevee could be very powerful.”

Outside of the house, however, the Pokémon Ranger, as well as a Lass with long green hair were listening. “Hmm, a powerful Eevee? We could take that as well as all of his other Pokémon too!”

“Then let’s do it!” Suddenly, the two barged in the door. “Oh, help,” the girl cried, “I need very strong Pokémon to help me lift this heavy rock that fell on my backpack!”

Bryan nodded, and all of his Pokémon scurried out, except Squirtle and Eevee, who stayed at Bryan’s feet while he commanded his Pokémon to lift the rock. As soon as it was gone, however, six large claws came out of it, taking all of Bryan’s Pokémon, and stuffing them into the now gigantic backpack. “Who are you people!?!” Bryan exclaimed. “You’re causing a lot of trouble.”

They threw off their costumes, revealing white costumes with hats and red "R"s on the shirts.
“Well, you better have prepared for trouble,” the girl said.
“And now that I’m here, why not make it double?” the boy asked, rushing in.
“To protect the world from destruction.”
“To give all Pokémon evil instruction.”
“Do bring down the evils of truth with our grace.”
“To send our evil deep, deep into space.”
“Jessica!”
“Jimmy!”
“Team Rocket blasts off in day or night!”
“Surrender now or prepare for a fight!”

“All right, stuff it, I’ve heard practically the same thing in stories. Where’s your talking Meowth, huh?”

“It’s coming soon.”

“I was joking.”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter, because WE have all of your powerful Pokémon,” Jimmy taunted.

“Well, one seemed to have slipped through your fingers.”

Bryan pointed at his Squirtle, which Jessica swished her head to the side snobbishly at and said, “That little weak thing couldn’t hurt a fly!”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Squirtle, please, help! Get out of your shell,” which by this point Squirtle was in, “and help! Help Eevee, and Pidgeotto! Help Pikachu, Ivysaur, and Charmeleon! Think about all the friends you made yesterday! Please help them!”

 

[Hikozaru390]

Chapter 8: Can Squirtle do it!?!
“Please, Squirtle, I know you can do it! Just get out of your shell and attack Team Rocket!” But Squirtle just continued to cower in it’s shell, actually using Withdraw, a high level attack.

Jimmy continued to taunt, “Your Squirtle is good for NOTHING! It just sits there in it’s shell, cowering at the feet of Team Rocket Junior!”

“Team Rocket Junior?” Jessica asked.

“Well, we’re pretty young, plus, the original Rocket gang is already disbanded. So…Team Rocket Junior!”

Bryan was unimpressed. “Well, if Squirtle won’t attack, I will! Eevee! Use Bite!” Inside the backpack, Eevee opened it’s mouth, revealing sharp fangs. Soon, the fangs were visible outside of the backpack.

“Uh-oh,” said Jimmy, “I was afraid of that! Go, Grimer!” Jimmy threw his Pokéball, and a monster made out of purple slime appeared.

“Grimer, huh?”

Bryan took out his Pokédex, which stated, “Grimer. The sludge Pokémon. Sludge exposed to lunar x-rays morphed into Grimer. Grimer usually appear around factories and power plants.” Grimer wrapped itself around the backpack, unharmed by Eevee’s teeth.

“Now what,” asked Jessica, “are you going to cry? Or will your Squirtle do that for you?”

“Yeah,” added Jimmy, “that worthless little snot! It can’t do anything right!”

Squirtle, upon hearing all of this, finally snapped. It ran forward and tackled Jimmy. Then, it turned towards Jessica and used Bubble.

“Wow, Tackle and Bubble. How amazingly painful,” they both taunted. However, Squirtle was now using a continuous Bubble on Grimer, slowly melting it. Once Grimer had fainted, Eevee bit through the backpack, allowing all of Bryan’s Pokémon to escape.

“Uh-” started Jimmy, returning Grimer.
“-oh.” Finished Jessica.

“Time to blast off!” they both yelled, running in the direction they came from.

Bryan returned all of his Pokémon, but not before congratulating Squirtle on coming out of it’s shell. Bryan then perched Eevee on his shoulder, and walked back into the cottage, telling Bill that he was sorry for the interruption.

“That’s okay. Estimating by Squirtle’s attacks, it’s halfway towards evolving. If you want it to evolve, I suggest training it by putting it in battles and then substituting it out.”

With Bill’s advice, Bryan left and headed back to Cerulean City. Once he arrived at noontime, Misty came running up to him. “Bryan! Help! Some thugs that look like they’re in Team Rocket came into town!”

“Don’t worry about them,” Bryan said nonchalantly, “They’re just wannabees. I kicked their tails, so they probably have to use the Pokémon Center. Don’t worry. They have a Grimer that’s somehow weak against water. So you won’t have a problem.”

“Thanks, Bryan. See you later, maybe.”

“Maybe.” Bryan began to leave, when Team Rocket Jr. went into the Cerulean Bike Shop! “Stop, fiends!” Bryan yelled, “Don’t make me whoop you again!”

“Oh, but we got a delivery,” snickered Jimmy.

“Yeah, now that our team is complete, prepare for trouble.”

“Oh, not again.”

“Yes, again, so now it’s double!”
“To protect the world from destruction.”
“To give all Pokémon evil instruction.”
“Do bring down the evils of truth with our grace.”
“To send our evil deep, deep into space.”
“Jessica!”
“Jimmy!”
“Team Rocket blasts off in day or night!”
“Surrender now or prepare for a fight!”

Suddenly, a Meowth walked out of the store, pulling a bike along with it.

“And Meowth makes it right!” This Meowth could talk, and from it’s voice, it appeared to be male.

“So, now you have an annoying Meowth. Congratulations. You’re Team Rocket, alright.”

“Let’s not mince words,” said Jimmy, “we hate you. But we need these bikes. So…go, Grimer!”

“And you too, Venonat!”

“Go, Squirtle and Charmeleon!” Squirtle and Charmeleon appeared on the field, opposite Grimer and Venonat. Squirtle used Bubble on Grimer, while Venonat attacked Charmeleon with Poison Powder. Charmeleon was now poisoned, and was losing health with each attack. Luckily, Fire Spin took Venonat down in two attacks, but Charmeleon was still losing health, and it fainted. Squirtle’s Bubble attack slowly melted Grimer, but it began to fight back with Sludge. The Bubbles were absorbed by the Sludge, and Bryan commanded Eevee to come down and use Sand Attack. The salt in the sand made the normally weak attack very strong against Grimer, causing the already weak Pokémon to faint.

“Meowth, go get them!”

“What?”

Meowth came forward, while Bryan returned Squirtle, using Eevee. Meowth used Fury Swipes, while Eevee bit his hands. “Owch! You’re wacky, you crazy Pokemon! I’m outta here! Let’s blast off, bubs!”

Meowth pushed Jimmy and James and they all ran away. The shopkeeper quickly ran out, gratefully saying, “Thank you! Here, have this bike they were trying to steal! It’s the least I can do! It’s the newest model! It even folds up, watch!” So the shopkeeper folded up the bike, and placed it in Bryan’s backpack. Bryan then took out his bike, unfolded it, and got on to head south, around Saffron City, and straight to Vermilion City.




Okay, the story is now up to date. Feel free to comment and I will answer all of your questions.

 

[Draconis]

Lacks description, is way too short, and is bland.

Actually, Ash is around fifteen when he begins his Hoenn adventures. These so called "siblings" do not exist in the canon storyline of the game, or show. They are fanmade characters, who apparently look exactly like their older "brothers". You didn't say they were identical twins, so why do they look exactly like their brothers? The answer: You just decided to put barely any effort into your fic, and most likely typed it up in the reply box.

I highly, highly suggest you read the fic rules, and advice for aspiring authors threads, before you even consider posting any more of your fic work.

 

[Hikozaru390]

Somebody said he was 12 1/2. >_>

I actually wrote this a while ago, thank you.

They don't look like their older siblings. Well, Max does, but that's kinda irony. I had pictures, but the forum exploded them into nothingness.

 

[Yami Ryu]

I actually wrote this a while ago, thank you.

Then UPDATE/REWRITE/MAKE BETTER. No excuse, thank you.

They don't look like their older siblings. Well, Max does, but that's kinda irony. I had pictures, but the forum exploded them into nothingness.

Man these chapters a rushed, flat and well. Not very interesting. Chapter one and three break the rules hands down, your characters come off as mary sues as well, Ash and Gary are only children. Your battles leave much to be desired, and it feels like you make the opponents stupid. Seriously, a Range should know Metal Coat won't heal a burn.

Good gravey, get off your arse and go read RULES and ADVICE FOR ASPIRING AUTHORS.

 

[Tezza]

*Winces* Oh, this is not going to be pretty, something organic is going to hit the windmill.

Numero Uno, you MUST go and read the rules. There are so many transgressions, you really don't care, do you? For one thing your chapters must be at least three pages in Microsoft Word. Personally, I think its better to aim for a word limit, maybe 2500 words per chapter.

Mate, some of your descriptions don't make sense, either that or he has one huge house because he steps outside his bedroom and sees the Pallet Lab with Max running towards it. Wow. Slow down and try and put quality over quantity. Close your eyes and run through the scene in your head?

He wakes up... How do you wake up in the morning? Do you wake up and step outside your door? No, when you wake up tomorrow morning, pay attention to what you do. You might slowly stir awake, lift your head off the pillow to see your alarm clock and light coming through the curtains in little bars of light and flop back down, stretching and yawning before you kick the doona off and slide out of bed. You might scratch your head and, if you prepared the night before for a journey, you might pick up the clothes you lay across your desk so you wouldn't have to go searching in the morning. Then, suddenly remembering that you were leaving today you'd grin! Maybe check yourself in the mirror and run your hand through your hair, before going for a shower. You'd get out get get dressed, walk down a hall to the kitchen. Where are your parents? What do they care? What is Brian's relationship with them, where's Daisy, Gary's sister? Maybe she's lounging on the couch eating cereal.

See all these details? See the picture? See all the questions I provoked. These are the things that need to be in a story to make it interesting and fun to read. As the author it's your job to paint a smooth, flowing, realistic movie in our head. If we don't have the movie, we don't feel like reading.

And you're right, this story is familiar. Readers don't want something familiar. We won't something new and exciting which is why most people avoid sibling/offspring fanfiction to canon characters. All too often they copy the anime, and if we wanted to see it again we'd watch it. Bring us something new, something exciting! What makes Brian different from Gary? What will his journey be like? Why are they getting exactly the same Pokemon as their siblings.

Although I must admit I like the idea of Professor Oak grinning and saying 'daylight savings time'. See, you have that kind of imagination, spread it out! Find the world of What If, what if my journey was different from Ash and Gary's? How would it be different?

I'm at a loss as to where this Pidgeot come from and how the ground dwelling eevee managed to bite it. Pidgey and Pidgeotto are placid Pokemon so why would they attack?

Show us something different! Show us detail, show us reality!

 

[CrystalSaurTower]

I know I shouldn't be saying this is the most abesloutely worst fic I have ever read, but god this is getting me very close. I do know one thing though, this a very, very, very, VERY, Genric event as a fanfic. and really thats a strecth seeing as that is I don't even see this as a sensible trainer-fic. They get a Pikachu and an Eevee? Gee, your surely getting your imagnative juices pumpin right now aren't you! And what d'ya know, there late and have the smae surnames as Ash and Gary! Ok, at this point I'm slightly repelled by the completely unimaginative scenario of them chosing pokemon. And wow Brysan just happens to capture a pidgey same chapter! Still repelling, but willing to read. And even though so much is going on, its crammed into such a SMALL and MINUTE few paragraphs. Terrible. Unforgivable for a fan-fic. I'm already temtpted to leave right now, but because of my undying will to help you, I stay.

Why even bother writing the next chapter? Whjy don't you just write this in the begging of your next chapter and not pass this pathetic excuse for a chapter to increase your post count.

Wonderful, so Bryan captures a Pichu. Hm, i am intruiged. Maybe that dull mind I've been thinking you've being beared will be going away. I look to se whats next and then..thats it. Describe how e got through it!! Through a barrage of meddled trees, and brush? Or a smooth and unbeaten path toowards the glistening gate of Pewter? once again, I am justified of your terrible ability of writing.

Next chapter, at Pewter city. So he challenges a girl for a battle and, huzzah! shes named Bryanna. Yet another example how you can't destribute anything oprigonal in this meaningless and pathetic chapter. He battles Brock, and alot f the same things Ash did are happening to him in the same battle? Dosen't thi kid have any indespendance? Oh and look, I could actually understand the whole friction steel thing, but the whole 'zomg, pikachu evolved!!!' is just a symbol of two things; one, you didn't even bother to look in the serebii pokedex to find out stuff about Pichu, but you clearly didn't. Pichu evolve by happiness. By love. Pichu just got caught, and by being in one battle Pichu suddewnly is adoring Bryan!? WAAAAAY too early. My god,you just caught last damn chapter!!

oh look he enters Mt.Moon with no troubles, until the end around two fossils which are *suprise, suprise* Dome and Felix fossils! Oh yeah, and right before he goes in he cpatures a bulbasaur. After a short, and poorly described skirmish, charmeleon is caught! Wow, two extremely rare pokemon in one day!! This is very Mary-Sue and very non-realistic. If this would be based on the games, one Pichu wouldn't evolve that quickly, and two he wouldn't be capturin a new pokemon every chapter!!

Next-GGGUHUH!! GOD, I can't take this. You fic sucks. No description! No realism!! NOTHING ORIGONAL AT ALL!!! YOU EVEN USED THE DAMN SAME TEAM ROCKET!! Think of something origonal other than this utter crap!! I wouldn't even called you an author compared to the other people on this site!! This is a definate Mary-Sue fic containing every single damn element someone shouldn't strive to include in there entire career!! Go to the Ausporiring authors thread, and trash this fic now!! You throw tese wannabe chapers only a pararaph long every five minutes!! You have no detication at all, so trash this fic nw and hop it nevers is rebonr into out univeres ever again!! -100/10

 

[Hikozaru390]

At least I can spell dedication.

Well, since most of the gripes are with the earlier chapters, and since I already had it under heavy consideration, I plan on revising the first 3 chapters.

And the only reason he captures the Pokémon so quickly is because I wanted to keep all the captures together. I did like Pichu, however, and it's unpredictable attack roster, and it's unwillingness to listen. So maybe I'll revise that as well. Pichu was unique.

EDIT1: Added a prologue. It's longer than Chapter One, but that will soon change.

 

[CrystalSaurTower]

And I.E, I read up to chapter 5, the amount of chapters you managed to make before spitting out five more within the next ten minutes-__-.

Unique as in he dosen't need to feel loved to evolve? Mind telling us that without making us think you've crossed all nown borders of the pokemon universe? I find it a bit strange though that if you liked Pichu so much, made him evolve one chapter after that.

So I assume your capturing all the pokemon for his team at the early chapters THEN advance. I personally don't see that as a good writing tactic, as it sems the trainer has abseloutley no time to really get to know the pokemon and distribute there personality. Of course, thats just my opinion, it's just that you had them captured so..quickly. I litterally mean quickly. Like when you got pidgey, it just seemed to be over so fast. Where was the vivid description? The sounds, the places, the sight of the flock. You caught him within one slim paragraph. Description is key. Persoalities are key. What personality could I derive from your own pidgey? Well, I assume he likes to fly. .... That is very bad.. Pokemon are living, breathing things in your world. They have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. Pidgey aren't just pidgey, they are individuals, each within there own aspect. I saw no soul within your pidgey, and henc, the rest of your team(besides a slightly, and I mean SLIGHTLY personality bound Eevee). Your devouring every pokemon's moment with that busiling hurried path your leading to catch more and more pokemon. I saw no 'unwillligness to listen' in Pichu. I saw NOTHING in Pichu.

And look at that, four chaopters after you catch Bulbasaur, he evolves.. Your evolving too quickly again!! Four chapters may SEEM long, but there not. Four chapter is nothing. Ten chapters, eight, thats a reasnable pace at which pokemon, like Bulbasaur, have enough experience to evolve. And even then, they would have to include memorable and tense battles. Not just random travelling from place to place doing nothing.

Once again you need description, orgionality, and realism. Go to Advice for Auspuring Authors thread before continuing. I imagine it will help.

 

[Divinity_123]

*claps Amazing dude. I loved it. It is amazing! It's so UBERISHGODLYAMAZINGORIGINALANDSOANTI-MARYSUE!IT'SCOMPLETEPWNAGE!

*ehem*

Forgive me for my rant. I hope you know that I was sarcatic right. I mean, seriously! WTF!?! CrystalSaurTower already pointed out the bad points of your fic. Eevee, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Charmeleon, Pikachu and a Pidgeot? ZOMFG! THIS IS SO MUCH PWNAGE! God that so Mary Sue right there. And he gets fossils? Whoa, he's my idol. this dude, is such an OC!

-100/10

More like 10 out of..........

1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Man, I can't believe I'm saying this but it isn't as bad as others I've got to give you credit for that.

UBERISHGODLYAMAZINGORIGINALANDSOANTI-MARYSUE!IT'SCOMPLETEPWNAGE!

I quoted myself! LOL! Meh, good luck. And please, wait till people review b4 posting 100 chapters in a day.

 

[Hikozaru390]

I greatly revised Chapter One.

CrystalSaur, I did not make the chapters on the spot. In fact, the only ones I had written in the post space (when I wrote it months ago) was Chapters 1-3 (but now only Chapters 2 and 3)

And Pichu won't be evolving now, at least not yet. I believe I stated that. Maybe I didn't make it clear.

 

[DarkPersian479]

8 chapters in 37 minutes. That has GOT to be some sort of record.

I did not make the chapters on the spot. In fact, the only ones I had written in the post space (when I wrote it months ago) was Chapters 1-3 (but now only Chapters 2 and 3)

Then clearly 2 and 3 were written on the spot. And the quick post times means that you did NOT proofread/make improvements before your rapid-fire posting. No, you only did that after the fact.

a girl with long brown hair, a white sun-hat, a blue sleeveless shirt and a short red skirt. She had shoes similar to Sonic the Hedgehog’s, but with the colors reversed, and blue socks that almost came up to her knees. “I see you are admiring my sense of style,” she said, “As I am yours. Your brown hair that sticks out from under your red hat. Your red jacket with black short sleeves. Your blue jeans and black shoes with a red stripe.

Could we be a bit more original? My own fanfic character is based off of the girl from FR/LG as well, but I give her different outfits and varied interests and characteristics so she doesn't seem so generic. Concerning your rival character, she seems destined to join Team Rocket just based off her empty threats after losing. Also, Bryan/Bryanna? Is it that hard to come up with original names?

Also, Eevee/Pichu/starters/Pidgeotto is a cliched/Mary Sue type team, even if you did rework it so they don''t evolve 23 seconds after receiving them. Battles are rushed and without descriptions of attacks or emotion.

And oh, joy, another incarnation of Team Rocket spouting off a slightly modified version of the motto. Really, we are bombarded with that motto during practically every anime episode! And realistically, couldn't Bryan just send out Pichu and blast them electricity by the time they got around to the part where they say their names?

Please take these factors into consideration for future chapters. I think the ones posted so far are too far gone to be corrected, short of a complete re-write.

 

[Tezza]

*claps* Good for you mate! Don't give up, I look forward to seeing the revisions!

 

[CrystalSaurTower]

Pichu had evolved into Pikachu!

Wow, seems your fic is syain diferent.

I don't care if you only wrote 1-3 on post space. Your supposed too, and there only a tad sucier then the ones you did write up on word. I mean even if you combined chapter 2-3 it wouldn't be enough. Honestly, re-write quite a bit your chapters, and who knows what good could come of this^^.