Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Hands of Creation

[Namohysip]

Don't you hate it when your life is a lie?

It started with getting stabbed. Later, mugged. Then, he forgets them both. Owen had lived a simple life with simple dreams, but an ancient conflict catches up with him, as does a forgotten past. With answers easily slipping away and chaos rising the more he fights to find them, there was no telling what hides in his forgotten core, and what he will become once unleashed.

Fighting your fate is one thing. But what about fighting your design?

An original Pokemon Mystery Dungeon setting. No prior knowledge beyond basic Pokemon trivia is required.

Cover art by the wonderful @canisaries
​

Hello, everyone! This is it, my main work. Maybe you saw a few of my oneshots here and there, or maybe you just know me from other areas, but this is where most of my effort and creativity goes.

In terms of my philosophy on fanfiction, I like to take what the canon gave me in terms of the base mechanics, and then work them into a narrative style. I dropped a few things that felt specifically game-oriented (stairs in the middle of a forest...? Nah.) but tried to incorporate things from the game into this original world if it was passable (warp tiles? That'll be useful!)

Tone-wise, I keep to the general feel of the Mystery Dungeon series -- a lighthearted setting, colorful characters, and dark undertones. And dark plot points. Then I add a bit of my personal flair to it: A bit of divine conspiracy here, an ensemble cast there... I have a heavy emphasis on character interaction and the elaborate plots they weave.

This will be long. While I've been told that the early chapters are fast-paced, I still feel like they're a bit of a slow start compared to when I finally have all my pieces in place to get things rolling. But as a new reader, I hope you don't notice that and it's a fun ride every step of the way! And for old readers: I hope your rereads pick up on the little hints that a blind reader might not pick up.

Okay, enough rambling. Have some information, a Table of Contents, and then some fanart!

​

Spoiler: Basic info

Content warning: "T" on FF.Net, "Teen and Up" on AO3.
Mild to moderate violence; blood; death or themes of death; some suggestive, disturbing, or dark themes and imagery. (I promise the tone isn't grimdark or anything like that)
This is a work that is posted on FFN, AO3, and Wattpad under the same username, so don't be alarmed if you see it there, too. I'm still working out how to get the work here to "catch up" to my weekly uploads there, but until then, I'll trickle them in to the forums week by week.

This is going to be a four-act, chapter-based work.

Spoiler: Awards!

Serebii, 2018:
Best Chaptered Fic (new author) 1st, tie.
Best PMD fic - 1st, tie
Funniest character (Rhys, the comically serious) - 1st
Best nonhuman supporting character (Goodra Anam) - 2nd
Best Plot - 2nd
Most suspenseful moment (Chapter 8) - 2nd

Spoiler: Bonus / non-canon extras

Bonus 1 - After the Madness, Before the Madness [MMM epilogue]

Spoiler: Fan art!

Spoiler: Team Alloy!

Team Alloy, by BattyChaiChilla on tumblr, someone I've talked with a lot over the years though she isn't a writer herself.

Spoiler: Ultra minor Chapter 3 spoilers

Art of the Heart of Hearts, the strongest* 'mon in the world! This one was drawn by @Psychic! Though his slime is typically purple like the rest of him, fun trivia: When he was younger, the slime was green like the rest of 'em.

Spoiler: Minor chapter 6 spoilers

Some art from a reader who wished to remain anonymous. Title was "The Call of the Spirit." Alternative title was "Top 10 Images Taken Before Disaster."

Spoiler: Major chapter 7 spoilers

Fanart from a 15 minute sketch by @canisaries after inspiration from seeing Owen's, uh, new look! He didn't give it a title, but I think "Grassmander" fits.

Spoiler: Minor chapter 10 spoilers

Reward art of the lonely heart Zena by @Dragonfree!

Spoiler: Chapter 11 spoilers

By Tanuki1029, though he isn't on this forum. While Owen isn't a Charmander in this scene, it's still such a good image that I'm giving it a pass. This is when Zena was finding out, um, less than stellar things about Star.

Spoiler: Chapter 28 - Enet and Owen

This one's by @NebulaDreams.

Spoiler: MAJOR Act I endgame spoilers (Safe after around chapter 38)

Gawen, by @canisaries
And also...

Mispy, also by Canis!

Spoiler: A funny for chapter 50

You guys may start to notice that @canisaries is very fond of making fanart of HoC. But I'm deeefinitely not complaining~

Spoiler: Just for fun

A young James and Anam. Credit to aarowtheblacksmith for this one!

Spoiler: Act I

Act I - A Fragile Identity
Chapter 1 - Kilo Village
Chapter 2 - Trouble in the Woods
Chapter 3 - Ceremony of Advancement
Chapter 4 - Strange Meditation
Chapter 5- Mystic Glow
Chapter 6 - The Orb
Chapter 7 - Not Quite Dead
Chapter 8 - A Thousand Heart Secret
Chapter 9 - Lonely Waters
Chapter 10 - The Hunters' Mission
Chapter 11 - Moving In

Special Episode 1: Storm
Chapter 12 - Twisted Minds
Chapter 13 - A Place to Call Home
Chapter 14 - Too Late
Chapter 15 - Reset
Chapter 16 - Known Secrets
Chapter 17 - Holes in the Mind
Chapter 18 - Mistakes
Chapter 19 - Synthetic
Chapter 20 - Blade and Fist
Chapter 21 - Our Lord
Chapter 22 - The Endless Forest
Chapter 23 - Past and Present
Chapter 24 - To Death and Back
Chapter 25 - A New Sighting

Special Episode 2 - What You Deserve
Chapter 26 - Isolation
Chapter 27 - Lakeside Chat
Chapter 28 - Evolution Gambit
Chapter 29 - Honor and Loyalty
Chapter 30 - Remnants
Chapter 31 - Ancient Tradition
Chapter 32 - Instincts
Chapter 33 - Black Sparks
Chapter 34 - Rest and Recovery
Chapter 35 - The Hunters' Leader
Chapter 36 - Team Alloy
Chapter 37 - Body, Mind, and Spirit
Chapter 38 - The Enigmatic Healer
Chapter 39 - Correct
Special Episode 3 - When the World Was Small

Spoiler: Act II

Act II - A Stubborn Ego
Chapter 40 - Regrets and Reconciliation
Chapter 41 - Frozen Over
Chapter 42 - Royalty
Chapter 43 - Holy Poison
Chapter 44- Overconfident
Chapter 45 - The Balance of Power

Special Episode 4 - Revise the Moment
Chapter 46 - Weapon
Chapter 47 - All's Well
Chapter 48 - Flames in the Dark
Chapter 49 - Burn Away
Chapter 50 - Heart to Heart
Chapter 51 - Fickle Soul
Chapter 52 - Reunion
Chapter 53 - Similarly Different
Chapter 54 - Lend a Hand
Chapter 55 - Grievances
Chapter 56 - Mirror, Mirror
Chapter 57 - Golden Breath
Chapter 58 - In Public
Chapter 59 - Blessings
Chapter 60 - Black Clouds
Chapter 61 - Enemy of the Enemy

Special Episode 5 - I Promise
Chapter 62 - An Unwelcome Visit
Chapter 63 - A Difference in Opinion
Chapter 64 - Welcome
Chapter 65 - Realm to Realm
Chapter 66 - From All Sides
Chapter 67 - Out of Control
Chapter 68 - Quiet
Chapter 69 - Cosmic
Chapter 70 - Aftershocks
Chapter 71 - Leaders and Followers
Chapter 72 - Water and Fire

Special Episode 6 - You Promise
Chapter 73 - Gather
Chapter 74 - Collapse
Chapter 75 - Descend
Chapter 76 - Flashes in the Dark

Spoiler: Act III

Act III - A Faded Voice
Chapter 77 - Under the Red Sky
Chapter 78 - Back to Basics
Chapter 79 - A New Day
Chapter 80 - Finding Stability
Chapter 81 - Healing
Chapter 82 - Casualties
Chapter 83 - Stew
Chapter 84 - What's Your Name?
Chapter 85 - A Bright, Dark Storm
Chapter 86 - Titan's Shadow
Chapter 87 - Sunken Eyes
Chapter 88 - New Home, Old Friend
Chapter 89 - Your Name
Chapter 90 - Incomplete Memories
Chapter 91 - Bonds Inseverable
Chapter 92 - Rediscovery
Chapter 93 - Protect
Chapter 94 - Resonance
Chapter 95 - Regroup
Chapter 96 - Stubborn Hopeful

Special Episode 7 - The Last Southern King
Chapter 97 - Reaching Out
Chapter 98 - Overwhelming Forces
Chapter 99 - Together Again
Chapter 100 - The World's Eyes
Chapter 101 - Dark Approach
Chapter 102 - Clash at Null Village
Chapter 103 - Legendary Friendships
Chapter 104 - Gateways
Chapter 105 - Titanic Rescue
Chapter 106 - Brewing Darkness
Chapter 107 - Dark Addiction
Chapter 108 - The Reaper
Chapter 109 - The Light of Hope
Chapter 110 - Halves
Chapter 111 - Truth Isn't Bright
Special Episode 8 - Normal Living
Chapter 112 - From a Flower
Chapter 113 - Nostalgia
Chapter 114 - Despair Flame
Chapter 115 - Espionage and Deception
Chapter 116 - Call of the Void
Chapter 117 - The Shell
Chapter 118 - Just Acquainted
Chapter 119 - Darkness Rises
Chapter 120 - Judgement Day
Chapter 121 - Shockwaves
Chapter 122 - The Timekeeper
Chapter 123 - Grasping at Gold
Chapter 124 - Father and Son
Chapter 125 - Shattered Core
Chapter 126 - Outskirt Showdown
Chapter 127 - Direction
Chapter 128 - Honesty

Special Episode 9 - Wishmaker
Special Episode 10 - Wishkeeper

Spoiler: Act IV

Act IV - A Humble Spirit
Chapter 129 - New Home
Chapter 130 - Gateways into Void
Chapter 131 - Half Death
Chapter 132 - The Hardest News
Chapter 133 - Six Chips
Chapter 134 - Incompatible
Chapter 135 - Reconnecting
Chapter 136 - What Time Has Done
Chapter 137 - One Hour
Chapter 138 - West Null Village
Chapter 139 - Gone, and Remembered
Chapter 140 - The Last Remnant
Chapter 141 - Final Wings
Chapter 142 - The Life They Live
Chapter 143 - Fly to the City
Chapter 144 - Triple Luck
Chapter 145 - Unexpected Life

Special Episode 11 - Dark Radiance
Chapter 146 - Four Teams
Chapter 147 - Spirit Lineage
Chapter 148 - How Things Change
Chapter 149 - Nightmare
Chapter 150 - Into Thirds
Chapter 151 - Mu
Chapter 152 - Battle of the Abyssal Sea
Chapter 153 - The Curse of Power
Chapter 154 - Void Isle
Chapter 155- Remember, Move On
Chapter 156 - First Generation
Chapter 157 - Rip Across Realms
Chapter 158 - Unexpected Return
Chapter 159 - Unwelcome Connections
Chapter 160 - Time and Space Asunder

Special Episode 12 - The Dark War
Chapter 161 - Time Has Passed
Chapter 162 - Spirits in the Marrow
Chapter 163 - The Pressure of Independence
Chapter 164 - Defying Destiny
Chapter 165 - Leak
Chapter 166 - Other Guardians
Chapter 167 - Being a Hero
Chapter 168 - Rally and Recover
Chapter 169 - Spreading Darkness For Good
Chapter 170 - Accidental Connection
Chapter 171 - Lord of Nightmares
Chapter 172 - Memory and Light
Chapter 173 - Memory, Rhythm, and the Heart
Chapter 174 - Overseer Evaluation
Chapter 175 - Reflection

ACT I - A Fragile Identity​

Poison-tipped fangs plunged into Owen’s chest. The Charmander cried out, struggling through his pierced lungs, and pushed against the stone serpent wrapped around him. He didn’t know what it was. It had the face and colors of a Tyranitar, with its rocky edges and black gaps in its armor. Yet it had the winding, coiling body of a Seviper, a poisoned blade at the end of its tail, and long, sharp fangs stuck deep within him. He tasted blood; he couldn’t breathe. His lungs were full.

Little orange embers rose from the ground as the fiery field burned, lighting the black night sky with smoke. The plumes glowed from the fire, giving the open field a claustrophobic, oppressive backdrop.

“OWEN!” cried a Gardevoir with blue hair.

“Mom!” Owen mouthed.

Behind the Gardevoir was a Magmortar. With fire in his eyes, he launched another fiery volley from his cannons that exploded right next to the Seviper-Tyranitar. It hissed in pain; the Flame Burst sent it flying. Owen rolled with it but its coils loosened enough that he slipped out and crumpled into ashen dirt instead. The bursts lit up the surrounding field of formerly lush grass, cutting through the evening twilight’s darkness. Then the flames died, their fuel exhausted. Only the fading fire of Owen’s tail and the Magmortar’s shoulders remained—making them easy targets.

Owen was free for only half a second. The thing arched its back, jettisoning a series of rocky spikes toward his father, the Magmortar. Three hits. They went straight through him. Blue fire erupted from the resulting holes. And then, his father exploded in a flurry of embers.

Dad? Owen couldn’t comprehend what happened. He tried to stand.

The serpent swung its tail forward—a sharp pain surged through Owen’s back. A jerking motion forced Owen’s head down. He saw the blade coming out from his chest. He had no way to scream.

“Get AWAY!” the Gardevoir, his mother, screamed for him. An incredible heat washed over Owen’s back, and then a horrible, shrieking wail rattled his skull. He fell; the tail slipped out from behind. Blood gushed on the dirt beneath him. Blue flames filled his vision, coming from below.

Owen fell face-first into the dirt, but despite this, it felt like the coziest pillow in the world. Everything felt cold, and then warm.

“Owen! Owen!” She rushed toward him, paying no mind to the fire on the ground. It didn’t look like the flames affected her body at all. “Owen, it’s going to be okay!” She held his back, pushing wave after wave of healing energy through his body. His breath returned to him; he coughed the remaining blood out. His blood was filled with strange, blue flames. They didn’t look normal.

What happened to his Dad? Owen’s eyes darted in all directions, his expression asking what his mouth couldn’t.

“Shh, it’s okay,” she said, placing her hand firmly on his back. The pain was unbearable. He loved it. He laughed a little, wondering if he could still fight. Primal delirium flooded his mind.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” whispered his mother. “Calm down. Sleep…”

The world curled into a tiny circle in front of Owen, darkening into a distant tunnel. But then, the world uncoiled, much to Owen’s displeasure. He just wanted to sleep.

The Heal Pulse intensified, the warmth almost too hot even for his Fiery body. He gasped his first breath, life—and pain—returning to him in full.

But then he felt a different energy course through him. It wasn’t healing him. “Shh,” Amia said softly. “Just sleep. Just sleep…”

It felt awful. Energy drained from his core. His vision faded. He reached forward. His scales peeled off his body like dust in the wind, turning into blue fire. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t feel like anything.

Everything went dark. He heard his mother sobbing softly. Sighing with relief. That, too, faded into warm silence.

<><><>​

The dim glow of nighttime mushrooms colored the rocky walls of the cave. Mixing with this light were flickering embers of orange and yellow. Owen laid belly-down in the middle of these flames, enjoying the warmth; they licked at his scales and washed over his back. The flame at the end of his tail got hotter, brimming with energy. He rolled over to sear his back next.

Wait. What happened? Wasn’t he—

“No resting on the fire, Owen.”

“Wh—huh? I wasn’t!” He rolled away and quickly hid beneath his bed of leaves. Some of them turned black from the fire, but they didn’t burn.

“Ngh,” He held his chest. It felt bruised. And his back was killing him.

The blue-haired Gardevoir peeked into the room, her white dress aglow from the mushrooms and the fire. She sighed, smiling. “You’re lucky we got you that special Rawst bed, or we’d need to replace it every night!” She laughed, but then walked over, patting him on the head.

“Yeah…”

Another voice whispered from the other room. “Amia, is he okay?”

Owen saw the burning shoulders of his Magmortar father. A vague image flashed in front of his mind of that very same Magmortar bursting into an explosion of blue embers. Bluer than his mother’s hair. That must have been a dream.

“It’s very late, Owen. Get some rest.” Amia gently pressed her hand against his back.

Owen eased himself onto his bed of leaves again, giving a defeated nod. “Okay, Mom.”

Right before going to bed, his mind felt muddled again. In the corner of his eye, he saw an eerie glow. His consciousness abruptly cut out.

<><><>​

Breakfast was a hearty veggie mushroom stew that bubbled thickly with steam. The table had three seats. Two were sized for the smaller frames of the mother and son. Both were approximately the same width, albeit oversized for Owen. The third seat was much larger than the rest—to accommodate its usual occupant. Alex, bumping his cannon-arms nervously, looked down at his food without a hint of an appetite.

“What’s wrong?” Owen asked.

“N-nothing,” Alex said. He refused to make eye contact.

Owen squinted suspiciously. He glanced at Amia, who giggled nervously and looked at her half-eaten bowl.

“Mmm. How are you feeling, Owen?” she asked.

“Perfect! But, uh, I don’t know. Did you ever have that feeling where you had a really good dream, but then you can’t… remember it?”

Owen noticed the subtle, shocked expressions in his parents’ eyes, but he didn’t acknowledge it. Sometimes he liked to act like he noticed less than he did.

“I had one of those,” Owen continued. “But I can’t remember any of it. I think I was having a really big fight. I remember my heart racing!” Owen played with a lump of a potato in the stew. He chomped on a glowing mushroom. It tasted tangy, which helped balance the stew.

He grabbed his bowl and downed half of his breakfast. His parents’ expressions were grave, but they feigned a smile when he looked at them again.

Owen knew this but chose not to point it out. “Weird, huh? Dreams are funny.”

“Oh, Owen, maybe you’re just nervous about all this,” his mother said. “Becoming stronger, more responsibilities. Being part of the Thousand Hearts is a big deal, after all! …If you get in. Remember, there’s no shame in failing the exams. Only a thousand can ever be in their combat division, hand-picked by the Heart of Hearts himself…”

She was trying to help him feel better, but that didn’t help the knot of inferiority tightening in his gut. How many times had he tried and failed to get in? No, this would be different. That was the whole reason he was going out on a practice exploration in the first place.

“Yes, exactly,” Alex stammered. “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to… live quietly? Perhaps take on a farming job.”

“No way!” Owen said, beaming. “Fighting is the way to go. I can’t live without a good fight. And what better way to fight than to, uh, y’know, fight bad guys?”

Fighting his favorite rock didn’t scratch the same itch.

“Of… of course.” At this point, his father’s flaming shoulders were mere cinders. Owen’s mother put her hand on Alex’s back, shaking her head.

“Oh, Alex, you weren’t up all night, were you?” Amia asked.

Owen wouldn’t doubt if Alex spent all night fretting over his planned excursion.

“No! I shut my eyes,” he said. “…Owen, are you sure about this?”

“Super totally!” Owen said, tipping his bowl of stew directly into his mouth.

Alex gulped. “Amia, don’t you think it’s a little early?”

“Oh, Alex, we can’t baby him forever. He’s an adult!” Because someone had to admit it. “It’s just one exploration. Into a known area. In a Dungeon, sure, but nothing he can’t handle! He’ll be just fine.”

She fidgeted with her hands. It was a telltale sign she was trying to convince herself it would be okay. Owen chose not to acknowledge this, either.

“Yeah,” Owen said. “And if I get horribly maimed, I’ll just warp back to the entrance! It’ll be fine!” He grinned, but he wondered if his word choice could have been better. He was trying to be funny, but he practically heard his father’s heart explode through his giant torso.

“B-but it will still be dangerous! You’ll be badly hurt, Owen! There are stories of bandits and outlaws and even ferals waiting for defeated Pokémon to return to the entrance. You’ll be too weak to fight back, and then—and then—” Alex’s shoulder fire nearly touched the ceiling of the cavern. “And what if you bring something important with you? If you get kicked out of a Dungeon in that way, you’ll—lose it! You’ll lose almost everything on you! Perhaps even your—your life!”

“Well, if wild Pokémon think it’s safe,” Owen said, “then it must be nice, y’know? Heart of Hearts Anam blessed it, even! I bet if I get warped out, it’ll even heal me! That’s usually why ferals use it as a home, remember? They write all about it in Dungeon Basics.” He paused. “Ever since the second edition, at least.”

“B-but…! That’s…!” Alex looked like he was going to collapse into himself with worry. “Wh-which Dungeon is it again?”

“It’s only the Wooden Wilds, dear,” Amia said. “It isn’t even very far. And it’s mostly just Bug and Grass Pokémon—you have nothing to worry about! He won’t strain himself.” She nodded at both of them.

Alex hummed against his lips, expression twisted with an endless pit of worry. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. Then… then, you can go, Owen. But—be careful! Very, very careful. And if you ever run into trouble, we’ll tell the Hearts about it right away.”

“I’ll be fine, Dad,” Owen said. How humiliating would it be for his parents to ask the Hearts to rescue him? He was supposed to be part of them, not one of their clients! He hopped out of his seat. “Okay! I’m gonna go now, alright? See you!”

Owen hopped out of his seat.

“W-wait!” Alex called. “Did you meditate?!”

“Did this morning!” Surprisingly, this was the truth.

He grabbed a small, lightweight, golden Badge with a heart-shaped insignia from a nearby rock, and then grabbed his little exploration pouch from the front, wrapping it around his back. He glanced at the Provisionary Heart Badge within his claws, nodding to himself.

<><><>​

Alex’s fire had finally returned to something normal in size. Amia put away the ceramic dishes, washing them with blue-hot embers coming from her hands, rendering it all to ash that blew away into the rest of the cave outside.

“I hope he isn’t self-conscious of his size,” Alex hummed. “It might affect how strong he is, even if he’s stronger than the average Charmander, you know, given the…”

Amia giggled, patting Alex on the shoulders, completely unaffected by the flames. “He’s got a strong will, though, and he’s resourceful, too. He’ll make up for it. And who knows? Maybe this adventure is what he needs to control that spirit of his.” She sighed, staring at the empty bowl Owen left behind. “I wish Rhys was still here. Maybe we wouldn’t have had to…”

Alex hummed worriedly. “That was a close call, yesterday,” he said. “I’ve never seen one of those mutants so powerful before. What if he runs into another of those—those things in the Dungeon?”

Amia bit her lip. “I know, dear. But you know it’s me they’re after, not him. Besides… He won’t die. You know that.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better. What if he’s captured instead?” Alex rubbed his cannons together. “If I was just a little stronger, I could have defended us both. But I just… evaporated after the first strike. Curse this body. It’s so foreign. Sometimes I wish I…”

“It’s not your fault, dear,” Amia said soothingly, holding his shoulder a bit tighter. “It’s my fault, too. I should have been more careful when leaving the caves.”

Alex frowned, but then the Magmortar forced a smile to the Gardevoir. “I’ll try to relax,” he said. “And—and if he isn’t back by the evening… N-no, late-afternoon…!”

“We’ll call the Hearts. I promise.”

 

[Namohysip]

Chapter 1 – Kilo Village​

Owen walked with a spring in his step, tail flame blazing with his joy. The caverns that he lived in had no sunlight, but the mushrooms that lined the rocky walls and ceilings glowed a natural sky blue.

Not that it mattered; complete darkness was a foreign concept to Charmander.

The central cavern was a stone’s throw in width, with many smaller offshoots. Other villagers made their homes in these rocky caves, mostly Fire Pokémon like himself. In that sense, his adoptive mother was an exception to the population, though she could deal with the heat like any other Fire could.

“Oh, Owen!”

Owen stopped, spotting a large Arcanine bounding over to him. “Hi, Granny Arcanine!”

“Oh, hush, I’m not that old. Auntie Arcanine is just fine.” Despite this, she smiled, passing a small bag of apples over. “You’re going on a little mock expedition, are you? I gathered these up just for you.”

“Aw, thanks!” Owen graciously took them, counting them for inventory, and slipped them into his pouch.

“I figured it would save you the trouble of going by the apple garden yourself,” Arcanine said, fluffy tail wagging. “It’s not fair, but you’re a busy Heart, aren’t you?”

“Well, I’m not a Heart yet,” Owen said, though his flame and chest both expanded at the thought. “Just wait! This time, I’ll get it!”

“Ohh, your eyes are so bright.” She laughed, waving him off.

Owen left at a full sprint, too full of energy to go any slower, and only looked back to wave her goodbye.

The passage narrowed until it was only a reminder to Owen that, one day, he’d have to be more careful about how he walked through it. When he became a Charizard, he’d have to keep to one side so he didn’t take up the entryway. Though, now that he thought about it, he didn’t see a lot of other villagers pass through this area. They usually kept to themselves—it was a secret location, after all, which made it even cooler.

Owen stopped at what appeared to be a dead-end of the caves. He hopped onto a small, flat square on the ground. Nothing happened.

“Oh, come on.”

Owen stepped off the tile, swung his arms back, and hopped onto it, putting his full weight behind the jump. The tile depressed a little. Nothing happened.

He used to open this so easily. Did he lose weight? Muscle weighed more than fat. Owen worriedly pinched at his gut, wondering if his chubby Charizard traits were coming. But it felt normal.

The lightweight Charmander scanned the ground and found a large rock. That’ll do. He hauled it over with him and jumped onto the tile again.

Click.

The dead-end glowed a bright cyan, much like the glassy mushrooms. The blockage, a huge boulder, rolled aside, revealing the bright sky. Owen squinted, reptilian pupils narrowing until he could finally adjust to the new normal.

He emerged to the base of a rocky hillside behind him; green fields of grass as tall as he was greeted him ahead. To his left and right was a simple dirt path, carved by traveling Pokémon. Owen headed to the left, knowing that it would be a quick walk to get to Kilo Mountain.

It was a little raised hill in the distance from his perspective, but that was a whole mountain of black rock. The ground rumbled, the boulder that had led to the opening of his hidden village rolling back into place. Just a mundane boulder, perfectly hidden.

A short, quiet walk later, with the summer breeze tickling his flame, Owen stopped where the dirt road converged with many others. Embedded into the ground was a flat, silvery hexagon with a few dim lights lining the sides. The lights weren’t very bright in the morning sun—it was mostly for visibility at night. Instead, it made for a colorful, intricate pattern that, from what Owen had read, was meant to be aesthetically pleasing, and had little other functional value. This was a Waypoint—a warp pad between different parts of the world. In most cases, like this one, it headed right for the capital of the world—Kilo Village.

It was an old name that never got updated.

Owen stepped onto the Waypoint and gently tapped his ankle on the tile. In a flash, he disappeared.

<><><>​

It hadn’t felt like anything but a blink, yet in that blink, he went from staring at Kilo Mountain from far away to standing in the mountain’s caldera, within Kilo Village itself, nestled in the mountain’s extinct top.

Owen puffed out a small ember in satisfaction. He adjusted his bag and ignored the odds looks he got from nearby citizens.

Compared to other Charmander, Owen had ‘strong feral genes.’ His lizard face was more pronounced and the whites of his eyes weren’t as visible unless he widened them. His stance was a little hunched and he could run on all fours if he had to go fast. It unnerved people, thinking he was some wild Pokémon… but he wasn’t! His biological parents just… probably had more feral traits or something!

‘Welcome to Kilo Village!’ greeted a sign in the middle of town. People didn’t usually enter the village from the caldera; they used Waypoints. The buildings that surrounded him were no more than two stories tall. Oblong rocks bound by mortar shaped the buildings near the center of town—the oldest buildings of the crater, modernized with new, cutting-edge technology that Owen couldn’t begin to comprehend, like screens made of glass and light that could display different things without ink.

These modernized buildings were not homes. Instead, it served as a hospital for rescued and injured Pokémon. Owen spotted a Chansey through windows of wood and glass, holding a few soft-boiled eggs in her tiny arms. A Miltank was carrying a large jug of milk in the opposite direction.

Owen decided not to think too hard about it.

The northern side of the crater was dedicated to Dungeon items and equipment. West was for training—Owen frequented there a lot—and he was often the first to volunteer for more experimental training techniques. Even if his memories were fuzzy if he got too beat up.

Probably nothing to worry about.

The east was dedicated to eateries and restaurants for Pokémon that were either preparing for a mission or returning from one. Sweet and savory scents mixed in the air and the jovial energy of a job well done permeated the atmosphere. If it wasn’t for the price, Owen would have eaten there every night.

Owen then glanced longingly at the southern part of town. The Thousand Hearts. The main building was a big, red, heart-shaped structure, with many smaller hearts scattered around: kiosks and special-purpose facilities. Inside the biggest building was where all Hearts met for check-ins, assignments, and training. Why a heart? Owen had no idea, though it might have something to do with their leader’s personality.

All the sights and the bright sky lifted his spirits. He couldn’t ignore how nervous his parents were, and that dampened them slightly—but he figured that if he kept acting cheerful, maybe he’d be able to fool himself into truly feeling confident, too. That feeling always nagged at him. The idea that something wasn’t right with anything he did. Not that he did it incorrectly, but that something, in general, felt wrong. Even now, it tugged at his mind.

“Kid,” he said, “you oughta get off the Waypoint.”

“Sorry!” Owen scrambled away. “Okay. Okay, time to go. I need, uhh, what do my supplies look like?” He rummaged through his bag. “A-and I’m not a kid!” he shouted. “I’m just a late evolver!”

He had two Oran Berries, two elixirs, some rations, those apples, a Pecha Berry, a Heal Seed, a Totter Orb, and—just in case—an Escape Orb. That should be enough, hopefully. No need to go to the shop to get anything. He’d want at least one Reviver Seed, or even a tiny one just for the boost to escape from trouble, but he didn’t have the funds for that sort of thing. Oh! But what if they had a rare berry or two?

“Kid. You’re in the way.”

“Sorry!” He stumbled. “Wait—I’m not a kid! I told you, I’m a late evolver! I’ll have you know, I—uh—I, er…” He finally realized who he was talking to. Not the Zangoose this time. It was a Golem, a behemoth of a rocky sphere, staring down at him from his great height. Defiantly, Owen puffed out his chest. He was a full-grown adult! Or at least an adult! Lots of weaker Pokémon never evolved. Sure, he had nightmares of being a wrinkly Charmander one day, but that wouldn’t be him! He just happened to be strong and slow at evolution.

The Golem sighed and wobbled away. “Half-feral,” he murmured.

Owen grunted and stomped down the street.

<><><>​

“Kid… not a kid,” muttered the certainly not-a-kid Charmander. “I’m just a little late. And maybe looking feral is an advantage! I bet I’m way stronger than even the average Charmeleon! Stronger than that Golem, too.” Maybe not.

Owen mumbled more to himself, the rest incomprehensible, clutching his bag. “I didn’t train with Dad for nothing.” He hesitated on that line of thinking. What if he didn’t evolve yet because he never got to train with a Charizard before? Could that happen? Is that how evolution worked? Owen shook his head. No, adopted Pokémon weren’t at some—

He bumped right into another patron. “Sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Ahh, it is not a problem.”

Owen saw an Alakazam whose mustache was large enough for Owen to walk on like a carpet. Owen’s gut twisted with a feeling he couldn’t comprehend. But then, he shoved that feeling away and instead tried to take in exactly who he was talking to.

“Y-you’re—you’re—!” Owen’s eyes sparkled. “Elite Heart Alakazam Nevren! Oh—oh, wow!”

“Ahh, you’ve spotted me!” Nevren chuckled. When he reached forward to shake Owen’s hand, the spoon he’d been holding levitated in place until he grabbed it again. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Owen tilted his head, confused. Hadn’t they met before? No, they hadn’t. He was just so well-known that he must have had that impression.

Nevren continued. “Ahh, I see you have a Provisionary Heart Badge. Training to become one of the Thousand, are you? Quite a few open slots are coming up soon, you know. Sixteen official retirements.”

“Sixteen?” Owen asked. “Wow! How come? Are… are some Pokémon not doing well?”

“Ahh, no, no, it’s nothing like that,” Nevren said. “These Pokémon are retiring on schedule. There will be a ceremony about that soon, you know. Perhaps you should attend and network with the others.”

“But you’re an Elite Heart,” Owen said. “Do you think I’ll be able to, um, get to that level?”

“Well, surely with time, you can. Everybody begins at the Entry tier, of course. But, looking at you…”

Owen felt a cold pit in his stomach at that analytical gaze. Was he being judged, right there, by one of the most Elite Hearts in the whole world? There were only three Elite Hearts of the Thousand…

Nevren nodded. “I see potential. Quite a bit!”

“Y’do?!” Owen said, worries gone instantly. “Wow! Okay! Then I’ll do better!”

Nevren nodded. “In fact, why don’t I give you a small gift?”

“What? A gift—from you?! Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Please! I’ll treasure it!” Owen had no idea why Nevren would want to give him a gift so randomly. But he wasn’t going to question a freebie!

“Of course! Here, have this.” A small stone appeared in his hand like magic. It sparkled in the sun, but was mostly gray, like a shiny rock.

“Cool!” Owen said politely. “What, uh, what’s it do?” Rocks were a weakness of his.

“It is a special stone that protects Pokémon that have not yet fully evolved. It’s called an Eviolite—and it will be useful if it is near your body. I, of course, have no use for it, but you certainly do.”

“Oh! That means, so, when I get super strong, that’s when I won’t even need it.” It was a constant reminder that he was a larva when he shouldn’t have been. But, at least now he had a boost. “That’s the perfect item! Thank you!” Psychologically it was undoubtedly going to feed into some complex, Owen thought, but in terms of practicality? Priceless.

Nevren chuckled. “Be sure to keep it with you!” He walked past Owen, and the Charmander was left puffing a little plume of confused smoke at the Alakazam. Of course he’d keep it with him!

Completely forgetting about going to the shop, he headed south again to the Heart. There, along the pathway, were many lines of warp tiles, each one with a label engraved on it. They were Waypoints set up by explorers of the past in different regions of the world, meant for getting there instantly, rather than on foot or by wing. The tiles were sorted alphabetically, so Owen walked a while until he found the ‘W’ section. “Western Crystal Cave, Western Wetlands, oh! Wooden Wilds! That’s it, alright.” Owen took a breath. “Tenth section. That’s my goal.”

Before he had the chance to enter, someone bumped into him.

“S-sorry! Again!” Owen said, a hint of irritability in his voice. This place was too crowded.

“Feh, quit standin’.” A huge, orange jaw chittered in front of Owen, owned by a Trapinch.

“Gahi, don’t be rude,” said an Axew just behind the Trapinch. Right next to the Axew was a Chikorita, who rolled her eyes.

Owen’s heart fluttered as if he’d seen old friends. Yet, he didn’t even know their names.

The Axew was the first to speak. “I’m sorry about Gahi,” he said, motioning to the Trapinch. “We were on our way to do a little mission. Or, well, to find one.”

“Oh, really? I was going to go exploring in the Wild Woodlands.”

“Y’mean the Wooden Wilds?” Gahi asked.

“Yeah. That.”

“Heh, well, g’luck,” Gahi said. “Figure yeh ain’t too experienced.”

“I am too! I’m super strong! I just… didn’t evolve yet.”

“Oh?” Gahi asked, his beady black eyes shining with interest. “Well, that makes four o’ us. Mispy, Demitri, ‘n I all’re late evolvers, but we’re super tough!”

“Oh! Wait—late evolvers. Is that real?” Owen had just made up the term, but they used it, too. Owen’s tail-fire burned a bit brighter at the validation.

“’Course it is!” Gahi said, stomping his tiny foot. “Otherwise, I’d be a Flygon by now!”

“And I’d be a Haxorus,” Demitri said. “Well, maybe just a Fraxure.” He rubbed at his tusk, tending to a little nick on the right side.

“Meganium…” Mispy said, leaf drooping.

The three collectively sighed.

“I know how you feel.” Owen’s tail drooped. “I’ve trained hard enough to become a Charizard already. I’m sure of it! But, it just never happened. It’s so weird. Everybody else in my scales would’ve evolved by now, but…”

“It’s too bad,” Demitri said. “But, what can you do? We work with what we have, as Heart Entries.”

Owen’s flame popped, flashing blue. “You’re one of the Thousand?!”

“Well, three,” Demitri said. “We’re our own little team!”

“That’s so cool! How’d you get in?”

“Hard work,” Gahi said.

“And,” Demitri said, “we got a good word in from our mentor, an Elite Heart.”

“What? Who? Which one?” Owen asked. Lucario Rhys.

“Lucario Rhys,” Demitri said.

There was the smallest pause from Owen. His enthusiasm dampened with a cold wash of… wrongness.

He knew the answer. He knew these three were his students. Trapinch Gahi, Axew Demitri, Chikorita Mispy. It was obvious to him! But why?

No, don’t look crazy. Not today.

He feigned a beaming expression. “He’s so cool! He’s the aura expert, right?”

“Yeah,” Demitri said. “And he’s super tough!”

“I already met Alakazam Nevren a little while ago! Those two are friends, right? Oh, can I meet—I mean.” He stood straight. Bowed. Stood straight again. “Um… I mean…”

“Heh,” Gahi said, amused. “Maybe when yeh get stronger. ‘Til then, we’re gonna do our mission.” He led the way to the main building. Demitri followed, waving back in farewell. Mispy gave Owen an apologetic smile and followed last.

Owen watched them with a tilted head. Their entire conversation felt like one giant déjà vu.

No. Not again with this. It was time to focus on the exploration. Owen plastered a smile on his face and hoped his mood would follow.

<><><>​

The corridors of Dungeons were always so awkwardly narrow, made from raised ground nearby—in this case, of dirt and rock. A strange gravity prevented him from climbing the walls, let alone flying over them if he ever sprouted wings. Perhaps in his dreams he could.

The final Paras evaporated in front of Owen as if the flames had burned it away like tissue paper. Owen knew it had just been ejected to the Dungeon entrance. He’d lost count of how many he’d taken down. He shouldn’t have risked it through that nest, but they were all so weak that it was only a nuisance to him.

Owen’s stomach growled loudly, breaking him from his train of thought. He tittered and dug through his bag. “I guess fighting all the time can work up an appetite, huh?”

The crackling flames of the battle’s aftermath spoke back to him.

“I need to stop talking to myself.”

The trees might have agreed.

He stomped around a small clearing, then sat down to enjoy his meal. He grabbed a stick nearby and stuck it through the core of the apple. He wrapped his tail around and kept it in front of him, roasting the apple above the flame, focusing on making the flame hot enough to cook it.

Someone hissed behind him. Owen sighed. There was never any peace from the ferals of the Dungeon.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Owen warned. He didn’t even turn around. He bit into the roasted apple, savoring the sweet, hot taste.

The feral advanced, growling even louder. Suddenly, the ground beneath the Pokémon’s feet lit up in a bright yellow. A column of fire engulfed it—and that was it. A quick shriek, and then it was gone from the Dungeon. Satisfied, Owen spun the apple to cook it a bit more. “My signature attack—Fire Trap!”

The wind that accompanied him did not reply.

Owen finished his apple and stood up. “Top shape!” He pumped his fists in the air. “Can’t beat me now, Dungeon!”

Owen had tempted fate. The ground rumbled.

“U-uhh—”

“Rrr… rrrn… rpphhf…”

He was ready to run at a moment’s notice. He shoved his hand into his bag, looking for an item that he’d picked up in an earlier section. He found it and looked up just in time to see the foot of a Snorlax stepping through the corridors. This Snorlax was huge—way above average, perhaps two heads taller. And its arms were longer, too, with thick, matted fur. Muscles bulged unnaturally. It wasn’t a normal Snorlax—and Owen wasn’t prepared for whatever it had in store.

The phantom pain in Owen’s chest and back suddenly flared up. He had forgotten all about it. Suddenly, flashes of a dream tugged at Owen’s mind. He remembered his father getting struck, and then exploding in a cloud of blue embers. And some creature—he couldn’t remember what—slicing at him. That didn’t feel like a dream. But—his father was alive! It had to be a dream.

The Snorlax, however, was anything but. A single swing from its mighty, Machoke-like arm would turn Owen into a fine, red mist.

“Nope!” He threw a seed toward the Snorlax and fired a puff of flames along with it. The seed ignited, sending soot and smoke in all directions, both blinding and suffocating the mutant. It roared and rubbed its eyes, stumbling blindly into a wall. Owen, knowing he was outmatched, fled for the next section, demarcated by a rippling, transparent wall like a gently rippling pond had been rotated to be vertical.

He only stopped running once he was sure he was far away. He held onto his tiny knees.

A Snorlax like that, here? Did it wander in recently? He shook his head. Nothing he could do about it now. It was just something to report when he got back to Kilo Village. That was an ‘Elite Heart’ problem. The Charmander gently held his chest; the phantom pain was fading.

I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy. That was real, and I’m not seeing things. Not crazy.

And so, he advanced, one rippling distortion after another. Section seven, section eight, section nine… section ten.

“Okay, this must be it,” he said. “Finally.” Between his apparent struggle to differentiate dream from reality, and then the Snorlax sighting, his enthusiasm for the exploration was being sustained only by his feigned excitement.

He did his research. There was a Waypoint at the end of the tenth section, where the Dungeon’s perimeter ended. What great timing, too—Owen was beat! He didn’t want to admit it to the Dungeon, but the tenth section was his limit. He looked up at the sky. The sun’s rays weren’t shining through the tall trees anymore—not directly, at least. It looked like it was going to turn orange soon. If he didn’t get home by evening, Alex’s cannons were probably going to explode again.

“Hey. Kid.”

Owen bristled. “I’m NOT a ki—id…!” He turned around. On the other side of the Dungeon hall was a creature with gray scales, a huge jaw, and large wings. His eyes… Owen didn’t like those eyes. Trained, focused. Malevolent. Hungry. What did this one have in mind? He saw that look often in town—outlaws that were captured, still bitter with defeat. But this one wasn’t defeated.

Of all the people that he’d met today, this rogue was the first one that he had no inkling of familiarity with. He had to be careful what he wished for; meeting this Aerodactyl gave him the worst pit in his stomach yet. Maybe it was the apple. Something about his presence darkened the air around him, but that could have also been Owen’s senses going into overdrive.

“What’s someone like you doing in a place like this?” the Aerodactyl asked. “Looking for an advantage? Nothing but Grass and Bugs here, after all. Fire Type like you? Easy win.”

“Y-yeah. Easy, haha…”

“I have an easy time here, too,” Aerodactyl replied. “Rock is strong against Bugs. And Flying? Beats ‘em both. But you know what’s really great about me?”

“Y-yeah? What?”

“Rock beats Fire. Rock also beats Flying. And guess what explorer-types show up the most here?”

“F… Fire and… Flying?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. You’re pretty smart, aren’t you?”

“I—I know Alakazam Nevren,” Owen said. “You should be careful how you act in front of me!”

“Oh, is he around?” Aerodactyl asked. Owen flinched. His hesitation said it all; the winged Pokémon’s jaw twisted into a horrible grin. “Guess that won’t matter, then, will it?”

“Uhh…! Uhh, then I’ll just beat you!” he said. He stomped on the ground and leaned forward, feigning an attack stance.

“Oh, really?” Aerodactyl asked, amused. “That’s a laugh. Okay, kid. But I’ll give you one last chance. Gimme your bag, and I’ll let ya go. Otherwise, I’ll—”

When Owen ran, all that he left behind for Aerodactyl were a few stray embers from his tail.

 

[Ambyssin]

So, doing chapter 1 for the review game and then I'll be cross-posting this elsewhere, because I can. ;P

We've got the introduction of our town hub and, of course, an introductory dungeon to go with it. I'll get back to the actual settings so I can focus more on the plot first. For being an introductory chapter, things move briskly. Owen's not dawdling in the town too long and even meets characters that I'm 100% confident will be important later on *looks at signature*. Each encounter has a nagging sense of familiarity to it. It's pretty blatant foreshadowing that something's going on here and that, yes, that dream of his was real. If I had to guess, Nevren (or another psychic we'll meet) erased selected memories from Owen's mind. Because we can't have a PMD story without some amnesia, am I right? :V

I suppose that, the benefit of Owen being a resident of this world is that he's already familiar with the mechanics of how things operate. This gives you leeway to not need to explain anything to us. The world has teleportation and we can see that. Since Owen knows about, there's no exposition. I'm okay with this as I hate it when the story stops so the narration can just explain something for me. But I think you mostly leaned on the showing side with things like the different Heart ranks. There were a few points I was confused on – like does the Thousand-Hearts Association actually have a thousand members? – but they might get clarified later. On the flip side, the dungeons are a subject where you should find a way to explain things more concretely. From what it looks like, we've got a forest landmass that isn't floors, but sections, divided by the usual weird distortion. But are the layouts constantly shifting? Where are wild Pokémon living, if not in the dungeons themselves? Do they just randomly wander in and attack? Why is there a different in intelligence level b/w wild 'mons and civilized ones? These are worldbuilding questions I'll be looking for answers to in the future.

With that said, my big issue again was with inconsistency in your descriptions. The issue with Pokémon I brought up in the prologue is still here. It might actually be magnified since you have a couple of instances where you just refer to a 'mon as "someone," which doesn't help with drawing a mental image of what's going on. The other side to that is with the actual settings. While you described the warp points and the Thousand-Hearts HQ, the rest of Kilo Village is a giant question mark, as is the forest dungeon. The crater part was specific, but using vague descriptors like "restaurants" or "item shops" leaves a lot to my imagination... and I'd bet most readers wouldn't create the mental image you're going for without a bit more detail. Like, say, shapes/sizes/colors of buildings. Likewise, the dungeon needs some more setpieces other than just trees and roots, in my opinion.

Anyway, that's all I've got. Looks like Owen's gonna rock out next chapter. sorrynotsorry

 

[canisaries]

Hi! I'm Canis, but you probably already know that, given we've met on Bulbagarden and the 'cords. I was going to review Chapter One for the Review Game, but Amby ninja'd me hard. ;p So here's a review anyway!

The town itself was in the middle of a crater at the top of an extinct volcano. From inside town, they couldn’t see anything beyond the hills of the crater.

Hmm... pardon me if it's part of some phrase I happen to be unaware of, but the "they" here doesn't seem to refer to anything. If it's the individuals arriving through the Waypoint, they're a bit too far behind to be matched up with this pronoun. If it's the townsfolk, it's feels kinda reachy. Suggestion: you can use "one" instead, I think that would work.

and that dampened them slightly

Heh, the fire type's spirits are dampened. Intentional or not, that's cute.

“Ahh, it is not a problem,” the Pokémon replied. Owen saw a creature with yellowish skin and a brown chest. His mustache was one that was large enough for Owen to walk on like a carpet. Owen’s gut twisted with a feeling he couldn’t comprehend. But then, he shoved that feeling away, and instead tried to take in exactly who he was talking to.

“Y-you’re—you’re—!” Owen’s eyes sparkled. “Alakazam Nevren! Oh—oh, wow!”

I remember what you said about describing mon over at Bulba, and this way does feel better than the one in the prologue.

“What? A gift—from you?! Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Please! I’ll treasure it!” Owen had no idea why Nevren would want to give him a gift so randomly. But he wasn’t going to question a free item!

uh oh. better not let Owen near any white vans

It was a constant reminder that he was a larva when he shouldn’t have been.

Mmm, the use of the word "larva" here really lasagnas my Garfield. (That's a good thing.) Really vividly describes how helpless and silly-looking a late evolver feels.

Completely forgetting about going to the shop, he headed south again to the Heart. There, along the pathway, were many lines of warp tiles, each one with a label engraved on it. They were Waypoints set up by explorers of the past in different regions across the continent, meant for getting there instantly, rather than on foot or by wing. With the tiles sorted by a strange derivative of Unown runes, Owen searched for Unown-W’s symbol. “Western Crystal Cave, Western Wetlands, oh! Wooden Wilds! That’s it, alright.” Owen took a breath. “Tenth section. That’s my goal.”

Ooh, this is one of those PMD fics that goes strong on the MD aspect but still makes game mechanics make sense in-universe. Haven't bumped into many yet, but I like the adaptations in this.

The plot seems to be picking up pretty fast! I was expecting it to take quite a while until Owen realizes something weird is going on with his life. This is not a complaint - I think I'm just used to seeing fics get back to the big main plot after a few chapters. What this tells me, though, is that this fic will likely focus on whatever that mystery is, which sounds like it'll work to set this fic apart from the mountain of other PMD fics.

The narration and dialogue flow very well to me with witty moments, and these two aspects usually make or break a fic for me (sadly, more often break, as I tend to be picky to a tragic extent). This is simply a joy to read, the opposite of a chore. I'm already engaged with just a prologue and one chapter and I'm actively looking forward for the following ones. That's the mark of a good writer (in my eyes, anyway), so congrats!

Owen's breezing through the enemy mon is very true to that early-game feeling when you just destroy everything in front of you. The Aerodactyl is very true to when you try to do the same thing in PSMD but everything keeps killing your stupid weak good-for-nothing Fennekin you picked because it was cute. No, I'm not salty at all.

Owen's a cheerful little thing - yeah, I know he's older than he looks, but he does retain that childlike excitement still. However, this cheer becoming more and more feigned as time rolls on already brings him depth. Loved the line about him hoping his enthusiasm would ease his parents' worries. Pretending to be fine is something a lot of people want to or feel like they have to do.

Man, I haven't been this positive in feedback in ages... anyway, those are my thoughts. Feel free to ask about any point if it makes you wonder something.

 

[Firaga Metagross]

Hey, welcome to the forums! It's good to see fresh blood in the FF section, not that I'm one to speak (sorta).

I'm liking the chapter(s) you've posted. The story seems pretty simple and straightforward so far, but that definitely works well in a the sort of adventure stuff PMD does. Everyone's got pretty clear motivations, there are a couple current and future plot/character things you seem to be setting up, and the world you present is pretty clear cut. I think this is a good start, but the what you do with the later chapters will really determine how interesting the story gets.

This was a horrible trip into the woods.

Your prose is generally good, but I don't think this line really works well in the context of the flashback. The sarcasm pulled me out of the scene, which was going for a more serious life-or-death tone. Furthermore, I don't think it fits in the earnest, not-jaded style you're going for.

Overall, it's a good start. Keep it up.

 

[Namohysip]

Thanks for the feedback everyone! My home is gonna get hit by a hurricane tomorrow, but if the Internet doesn't go out, I plan to upload chapter 2 then! However, before that, I'm going to be uploading edits that I've made to chapter 1 (and a small line in the Act 1 prelude) shortly after I post this response.

On the flip side, the dungeons are a subject where you should find a way to explain things more concretely.

Thanks for this. I've added a tiny bit of description and exposition, since this chapter was pretty dense with events to begin with. It could afford to have some imagery! It actually gave me an opportunity to get playful. So you don't have to re-read, the basics are that the town is made of mostly stone and mortar, a strange mix between modern and old. Also added some description of what the Dungeon is like, which I took from how the games depict them -- raised ground based on the terrain it's surrounded in, embedded with trees and rocks and so on.

the rest of Kilo Village is a giant question mark, as is the forest dungeon

See above. Thanks again, I've been polishing up this and future chapters as I upload them with these particular pointers in mind.

Ooh, this is one of those PMD fics that goes strong on the MD aspect but still makes game mechanics make sense in-universe.

This is 100% what I was going for. The early chapters in particular (before the story starts to diverge from basic PMD formula) were a constant struggle to balance "game" elements with the story, without it feeling "too much like the game" at the same time. Very early iterations of this work used to use actual game terminology like "turn" and "KO" before someone pointed out that's stupid. So, if you ever spot those terms, it's a relic, and please point them out so I can purge it away.

The Aerodactyl is very true to when you try to do the same thing in PSMD but everything keeps killing your stupid weak good-for-nothing Fennekin you picked because it was cute

For me, this was Salamence. I think it was the first optional mission I ever got in Super, and it was a SALAMENCE. I used up all my Sleep Wands and Blast Seeds, and I really felt like Owen and his resourcefulness, in hindsight.

However, this cheer becoming more and more feigned as time rolls on already brings him depth

It's very validating to read this. That's exactly what I was going for.

Furthermore, I don't think it fits in the earnest, not-jaded style you're going for.

I'm a little surprised that you think right off the bat that I'm going for an earnest, not-jaded style! You aren't wrong, mind you, but I'm surprised you got that tone so soon. With all the bad stuff that happened, there is a sort of optimism through it all, isn't there? Still, I intended for that to be a sort of dry, dark humor, but it may have fallen flat. I'll modify it to something a little more in line with the rest of the story.

 

[Namohysip]

Chapter 2 – Trouble in the Woods​

“Stupid kid—get back—pfwaaagh!”

A Fire Trap exploded beneath Aerodactyl when he reached where Owen had stomped. Unfortunately, all it did was slow him down.

Hoping it would work again, Owen spent some of his time stomping on the ground, channeling his energy through his feet into the soil. This created another trap.

Owen turned down the corridor but then skidded to a stop. “W-wait! That’s not fair!” he shouted.

Owen stared at the path—or, rather, the lack of a path—ahead of him. He had run into a dead end.

“You shouldn’t be the one to complain about being fair!” Aerodactyl shouted, pushing through the second Fire Trap.

Owen spun around. Aerodactyl didn’t immediately advance. Perhaps he recognized that Owen wasn’t as easy to strike directly.

“Just—let me go!”

“Oh, no, no, no, I don’t think I can do that,” Aerodactyl said. “Not without some payment first. Your bag. Just hand it over, and I’ll be on my way.”

“No way!” Owen said. He glanced in his bag with the little time he had. He had too many precious items in it. The gift from Nevren, too. And all the items he picked up during exploration! Wait, the items!

“Ha!” Owen saw the small, blue sphere—an Escape Orb. He could use it. He’d be out of here without a problem! Owen smashed it on the ground. He was ready for the blue light inside to envelop him and take him straight to the entrance. Instead, the light and energy inside evaporated into nothing.

“What?” he said. A mysterious power had stopped the Orb from functioning. That normally only happened against Pokémon with powerful auras, or—

“Heh.” Aerodactyl produced a strange-looking device from a satchel around his neck that resembled another Badge. “Jammer Emblem. Do you think I’d let you run off so easily? Everyone brings Escape Orbs. So, I bring a Jammer.”

“Th-those are illegal! You can’t use those without Heart permission!”

“Oh, no! Illegal! How terrible!” Aerodactyl sneered.

Aerodactyl took another step forward. Owen only had enough time to try one last trick. And his Totter Orb would be useless, too. He could try to use his Badge to escape—even if it was just a Provisionary Badge, it still had enough of a charge to escape. But within a Dungeon, it wouldn’t have the energy or precision to take anything on him—just his person. All his gear—no, Nevren’s gift, too! He couldn’t use his Badge. He didn’t have time, anyway; it needed a few seconds to activate. Seconds he didn’t have.

Something knocked against his claws in his bag. A seed. It felt strange to the touch as if the air around it simply wasn’t there. He knew the feeling. A Warp Seed.

Owen immediately shoved a seed in his mouth and chomped. In one second, he was staring an Aerodactyl in the face. In another, he was elsewhere. Owen, working off of the adrenaline rush, immediately ran ahead. If he could just find the—

He was in the same room he had been in before. He even saw the Aerodactyl emerge from the hall next to him. Owen fought against his momentum and scrambled backward.

Fortune was not in his favor. He ran from room to room, thinking Aerodactyl was in hot pursuit… and then, finally found a new part of the Dungeon section. One with the exit Waypoint… and Aerodactyl right next to it.

Aerodactyl caught sight of Owen at the corner of his eye. His huge jaw twisted into a smirk.

“Hey, there,” he said. “Having trouble?”

Owen wasn’t sure how long he’d stood there. It was just the two of them. The exit was out of his reach. But now, he knew that he had a solid target. That Aerodactyl wasn’t going to move from that spot. So, if he could take advantage of that somehow, then maybe—

“Hey!” Owen said. “How about this?!” He grabbed something from his bag and threw it at the outlaw. It was another seed—one that, upon hitting him, popped and scattered a strange dust around the Pokémon.

“Wh—huh?! Why you—little—!” He stumbled where he stood, wobbling horribly. His jaws opened wide and he fired—unexpectedly—a set of rocky pellets toward Owen. Rock Blast!

He launched pellet after rocky pellet in a random direction, completely missing Owen. Now was his chance! Owen opened his mouth and returned fire with a heated plume. An Ember was less than ideal, but it at least did some work. All of his other techniques either required contact or required Aerodactyl to move to where he had been standing. Ember was all he had, or all he thought he could pull off against someone so much bigger and faster. Maybe Protect, but…

“Ngh—!” Owen narrowly dodged to the right, evading a lucky shot, but his momentum made him tumble to the ground. Aerodactyl was chomping at the air, now. Ice, Electricity, Fire, he seemed to be cycling through all kinds of biting techniques. How many could that guy use? Normal Pokémon couldn’t use so many different techniques that rapidly!

Owen scrambled up—and felt a sharp pain on the back of his head. Everything felt upside-down, accompanied by a ringing noise.

“Ughn—no, I…!” he tried to stand, but a second rock smashed against the center of his spine. The force made him roll across the ground like a bag of berries—he couldn’t feel anything on his lower half.

Aerodactyl tried to fire a third, but nothing came. “Tch.” He spat out a loose pebble. “Must be getting tired.” He winced at his burn. Then, he stepped toward Owen, who was too injured and dizzy to react, yet not enough to be kicked from the Dungeon.

“You gave me some real trouble, Charmander,” Aerodactyl said. He pulled Owen’s bag away and dug through it, but then recoiled. “Eh? Rawst Berry? …On you?”

Owen glared even as Aerodactyl stared at him like he was an idiot.

The outlaw shrugged. With a chomp, his burn evaporated before Owen’s eyes. “Well, I’ll just take this bag as payment.”

“N… no.” Owen struggled weakly, a single hand still clutching at the strap. “You can’t!”

“Looks like I can,” he replied, munching on an Oran Berry next. He roughly tugged the bag away, jerking Owen forward. Aerodactyl’s injuries vanished with a wave of blessed light at the same time that Owen’s face slammed into the dirt. The outlaw let out a deep, refreshed sigh.

“P-please. At least give me the Eviolite that Nevren gave me,” Owen said, holding himself up with an arm. “You don’t… you don’t need it. You’re fully evolved. Or, er, you don’t evolve…”

“Hmmm…” Aerodactyl looked at the glimmering stone. “Doesn’t look like a normal Eviolite to me. I bet it’d sell well, though. Sorry, kid. I’m keeping it. And you’re right. My species doesn’t need evolution.”

Owen tried to blast him again, but no flames came out; he could taste the fire on his tongue, but he didn’t have the strength to push it further. He exhaled, but the flame was gone. The best he could hope for was that Aerodactyl would be merciful and leave him alone. Maybe he should have listened to his father. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. He couldn’t even send a distress signal. His bag was taken, and therefore his Badge. Was this it?

He was breathing fast. Fear crept into his mind. Higher thoughts fuzzed out.

“Kid,” he said, cutting Owen’s repetitive thoughts. “I don’t work like that. All I want is the goods. What happens after, I don’t care. That’s the way the world works. And the way Dungeons work nowadays.” He took another step closer. “Here, let me help. I’ll beat you up nice and good, and you can crawl back home like it was a bad dream. You ready?”

They locked eyes. His wing was raised. Owen didn’t know if he’d be able to survive the blow. If he’d wake up at all at the entrance, or if he’d just be there, too weak to fight, left for the ferals.

“Please,” Owen said.

The wing hung there, tense. But then the claws at the end clenched in what may have been a fist. “You want to be a Heart?” he asked.

Owen nodded.

“Then you deserve this.” The wing tensed. “Nothing I hate more… than you Hearts.” He lowered his wing and gave Owen a halfhearted kick, more like a push, that only accomplished a half-rotation of the Charmander’s numb body.

“Thanks for the loot. Pick a different career. One that isn’t… ugh, whatever.”

He shrugged walking toward the Dungeon’s exit. Owen’s throat clenched as if trying to seal what little pride he had left inside his body.

“No way!” someone shouted.

Owen recognized that voice from earlier in the day. He turned his head weakly and saw an orange blur rush past him. A speedy Trapinch, a walking contradiction, and a welcome surprise. He weaved left and right, went in front of Aerodactyl, and then hit him directly with a full-body tackle.

Aerodactyl shouted and stumbled back. “You—oh, great. Hearts?!” His wings clutched the bag to his chest. “But it’s just a bunch of runts. Is that your best?”

Demitri and Mispy were puffing at the other end of the hall, trying their hardest to catch up to their third member.

“Far from our best!” the Axew said, huffing. His tiny hands were barely able to grasp his scaly knees. “We’re Team—uh, what was our team name, again?—uh—Alloy! Of the Thousand Heart!”

“Hearts,” the Chikorita mumbled, using two vines to act as a fifth and sixth leg, since her normal four weren’t enough to stay standing.

“Y-yeah! Hearts,” Demitri said. “And we’ve got to be top-tier to get into something like that!”

“You seem new. Worst of the best, I take it?”

“Goodra Anam said that a ranked system isn’t good for morale, so we aren’t the worst or the best! We’re just Entry-Level Hearts!”

“Guys!” Owen shouted hoarsely. “A little help?!”

All this time that they were talking, Owen saw the outlaw making sly, subtle movements with the bag. “He’s trying something!” He might have disabled his jammer. And that could only mean he would use an Orb next.

“Hmph, think you’re clever?” He pulled out the Totter Orb and threw it on the ground. Everything spun and distorted with flashing stars and vertigo. He was already numb and hoped he wouldn’t have anything worse happen to his body.

“He’s getting away,” he mumbled.

“I got ‘em!” Gahi said, rushing Demitri with a dark aura characteristic of his Feint Attack.

“G-Gahi! What’s your problem?!” Demitri said. “He’s right that way!” Demitri sliced at the wall, effortlessly cleaving huge chunks.

“Stop,” Mispy mumbled, shutting her eyes.

“I’ll get ‘em!” Gahi said, striking out again with a dark tackle. He hit the wall.

The outlaw was mere steps away from the exit. But then, Gahi got a lucky shot on his next run. He shook the dizziness away, spotted Aerodactyl, and ran. The orange blur was in front of the outlaw in seconds, blocking his way out.

“How’d you—outta the way, peanut!” He opened his mouth and fired a volley of three rocks.

Gahi dodged them all—“I’m th’ fastest peanut in the world!”—and countered with a solid strike with his massive head, square in the chest. The outlaw stumbled back, dropping the bag. In the amount of time he took to reach for it, Gahi took it and dropped it by Owen.

Good, Owen thought. The outlaw would give up and run away, and he’d be safe. Then he could head home and take a nice, long nap.

Instead, the outlaw roared and ran toward Owen.

Weakened and immobile, he shut his eyes tight, waiting for the inevitable impact that would kick him out of the Dungeon. And then, despite expecting nothing of it, he prayed to Arceus that he’d be able to wake up afterward.

Embarrassing. He didn’t think Arceus was real anyway. This hope wouldn’t be answered.

He heard an impact, but he wasn’t the one to receive it. He opened one eye.

Demitri was standing in the way; he took the whole hit with one of his tusks. Miraculously, it didn’t break, but it looked like it hurt. The follow-up wasn’t any nicer—a strong jab to the side of Demitri’s body with his other wing—but he stood anyway.

“Give it here, you—” Aerodactyl grabbed the bag. Owen didn’t have the strength or reflexes to hang on. The outlaw turned around, sprinting for an escape.

“Mispy! Now!” Demitri shouted.

Then came a blinding beam of light. Aerodactyl screamed in fright, and then he heard the dull noises of punches and kicks and swipes. And then, panting. Gahi laughing. Demitri told him to quiet down.

Owen jumped when he felt something brush against his back.

“Eep—! O-oh, it’s you,” Owen said, spotting Mispy, clearly the healer of the team. Her vines gently rubbed at his spine.

“Shh,” Mispy said. Her leaf glowed and released a soft light that clouded around Owen. All of the energy he had lost returned to him. He could feel his lower half again, too.

Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, it’s okay. Calm down. Sleep… Amia’s words echoed in Owen’s mind.

Owen recalled his scales evaporating into the aether.

That wasn’t a dream.

Despite the healing, the phantom pain returned to him in an instant, and flashes of that past event clouded his vision. His muscles seized and his claws dug into the dirt, leaving tiny holes in the ground. Embers spilled from the sides of his mouth, and his eyes widened.

One of Mispy’s vines bopped Owen on the forehead. “Stop that.”

“B-buh—h-huh—” Owen snapped back to reality. “Wh-what happened?”

“You’re fine,” Mispy said. “Sh… shut up.” She pressed her vines against his back again and focused. Healing energy continued to flow into him, and Owen, after a few seconds of tension, managed to breathe easily. He shut his eyes, thinking happier thoughts, like when he had cut his arm on a rock when he fell, and how his mother used the very same technique to patch him up.

“Nng, that’s the spot,” he said. “Was that Heal Pulse? You know Heal Pulse?”

“Mm.”

“Hey, uh,” Demitri said, rubbing his right tusk again. “Sorry about your bag.” He handed the tattered remains to Owen. “Most of the items got ruined from Mispy’s blast. But maybe there’s—”

Owen grabbed the bag and rummaged through it desperately. “Ah!” He pulled out two items—his Provisionary Badge, and Nevren’s gift. There were a few other berries and orbs remaining, too, but those were much less important. “It’s okay. This is all I needed!”

“Hey, we still messed up your gear,” Demitri said. “How about we bring you back with us to our mentor’s place? He’s kinda good at repairing bags and stuff. Maybe he can patch it up?”

“Oh! Okay.” He didn’t care about the bag. He got invited to a Heart’s home! He wanted to see Rhys again, anyway.

Again?

“You okay?” Demitri asked.

“Dazed,” Mispy surmised with a nod. She gave Owen a little smile. “And… dirty.” She gestured to Owen all over.

He stared at the three for an uncomfortably long time. Mispy shifted from her right feet to her left feet. Gahi clicked his jaws.

“I think I know you guys,” Owen finally admitted.

The three looked at one another. Then, back at Owen.

Mispy looked at Owen’s eyes. He realized she was looking for a concussion.

“I—I kinda feel like we met before, too,” Demitri admitted. “That’s crazy! We must have good chemistry.”

Gahi’s jaws opened and closed in contemplation. “Meh. Let’s go.”

Owen rubbed his paws together to get off the dirt. “How’d you guys find me so quickly?”

“Well, we saw a bunch of Paras and other wild Pokémon near the entrance, so we figured you were still going through the Dungeon,” Demitri said.

A pit of guilt weighed on Owen’s stomach. “O-oh. They were still out of it? I didn’t—I wasn’t that hard on them, right? I didn’t…?”

“Hey, self-defense,” Gahi said. “Besides, this place is overpopulated with those pests anyway. Isn’t enough food fer ‘em ter all survive.”

“W-wait, how badly were they—”

“Aah, they’ll be fine. Wild Pokémon’re real resilient, I figure.”

But Dungeons… healed those, didn’t they?

Demitri nodded and rummaged for their Badge. They walked to the exit of the Dungeon and finally passed through; their Badges all blinked in a slow pattern. The raised ground of rock, embedded trees, and dirt transitioned into an open woodland.

<><><>​

“Great work on apprehending this Pokémon, Hearts,” said a Watchog. “We will be sure to escort him away for his punishment.”

“It—it was a setup! I swear!” Aerodactyl pleaded. He was still smoking from the Solar Beam, and his left eye was purple and shut completely from Demitri’s Dual Chops. The Dungeon hadn’t healed his injuries, either…

“I didn’t mean to steal all those things! I was under Hypnosis! I’m—I’m a sleeper cell, secretly, eh, secretly I go crazy when my master wants me to!”

Owen didn’t even need his sharp senses to see that lie. Watchog, too, was unconvinced.

“Nice try.”

“Feh, quit yer lying,” Gahi said. “Pay yer dues and don’t do it again.”

The Aerodactyl whimpered and ducked his head down, defeated.

“Oh—um,” Owen spoke up, “I almost forgot, but, can I report something?”

“Report? What else would you like to report?”

“I don’t want to… I don’t want to make anybody feel bad, but there was this weird, really muscular, really angry-looking Snorlax in the same Dungeon that I found Aerodactyl—um, what’s your name, Aerodactyl?”

“Like I’d tell you.”

Owen flinched. “W-well… well, I just thought it was strange to see a Snorlax there.”

“Hm, perhaps it was just your imagination. Were you hungry while fighting?”

“Not really. I just finished one of my rations.”

“Perhaps you were seeing things. Still, I will report it. Do not be worried. Strange Pokémon like those are seen in Dungeons all the time, and it’s nothing to be concerned with—so long as they don’t wander out of those Dungeons.” He mumbled the last part. “Eh—we let our Elite Hearts deal with them. Now then.” He looked at Aerodactyl. “We will be going.”

And so, he was escorted away.

“Hmm.” Owen watched. “What else did Aerodactyl do?”

Demitri tapped his tusks thoughtfully, giving the top of a nearby building a pensive stare. “Well, he was wanted for theft. Targeted explorers and took everything they had on them. We took the assignment because you were there, too. Sorta spelled bad news, when you put two and two together, y’know? Chances are he’s going to have to work his debts away to pay them all back. Maybe as a volunteer as a temporary rescue team member. I think they’re called Broken Hearts. Make a living. Then once he’s done, maybe he can continue that work with full pay.”

“And repair that Broken Heart of his,” Gahi sang mockingly.

“So, he pays back his debts, and gets a job in the process? I wish it was that easy for me,” Owen mumbled. “My dad wants me to be a berry farmer because my sharp senses would let me tell when they’re ripe or not.”

Demitri scratched at his tusks. “Goodra Anam says that a lot of thieves only do what they do because they don’t have the skills for anything else.”

Gahi scoffed. “Feh, I think they’re just weak-willed.”

“So,” Demitri continued, “what happens is they can contribute back to society instead of being worse than some random wild Pokémon.”

“Yeah. I remember reading about this!” Owen said. “I can’t believe it’s so nice, though! I guess Heart of Hearts Anam is even better than I thought.”

“Heh. Well, anyway, let’s show yeh ter our personal Waypoint,” Gahi said.

“Yeah! And—oh.” Owen hesitated. “Before we go, can we take the Waypoint back to the Dungeon again?”

“Eh?” Gahi said. “What fer?”

“Just to check on something.”

<><><>​

“Yer serious.”

Owen had brought Team Alloy back to the Dungeon’s distortion. They were careful not to pass through and enter it all over again.

“Yer coming all the way here just fer some random ferals?”

“I didn’t think I’d do that much damage. You said they were pretty beat up, right? And Aerodactyl looked hurt, too. Just… you know. Maybe Anam needs to bless the Dungeon again.”

“Bah, he probably got roughed up by the recovery squad fer resisting arrest,” Gahi said. “C’mon, yer fire ain’t all that bad.”

Owen’s flame dimmed. “I just want to make sure,” he said. “It wasn’t that far of a walk, right? We’ll head to Rhys’ place right after. It’ll just give me some peace of mind, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Gahi clicked his jaws together impatiently. “Could be having dinner by now.”

“C’mon, Gahi, he’s just worried.” Demitri picked at a bit of dirt between two of his claws. “It’s one thing to defend yourself, but I think Owen just wants to make sure he didn’t go overkill on it.”

“K-kill, yeah,” Owen said, laughing hastily. “No need to go overkill.”

Mispy closed her eyes, breathing out. “Ahead.”

“Ahead?” Owen said, his eyes following the path for him. A small cluster of Paras skittered groggily about, each one with a burn here or there, some with their mushrooms looking particularly damaged or cooked. When Owen got closer, one of the Paras hissed and skittered away. The others did the same, almost in unison, and clustered together. Purple fog trickled out of their mushrooms, threatening to flood the arena if provoked.

Owen’s flame blazed behind him, but he kept it hidden out of the ferals’ sights. He dug through his bag, slowly pulling out a Rawst Berry.

“…Why’s a Fire carrying around Rawst Berries?” Gahi said. “You guys don’t get burns.”

“Others do, though.” Owen took a hesitant step forward.

The Paras all hissed at him, poisonous clouds thickening.

“I’m sorry I hurt you guys so badly,” Owen said. “I know I entered your territory, and I was just going on a fun exploration. I shouldn’t have been so careless about you guys. Just try not to attack randomly, alright?”

“Torch, they ain’t gonna understand ya,” Gahi said. “Besides, yer scaring them.” He waddled closer. “Look. You gotta keep yerself small. They’re already weak, so they ain’t gonna fight back. Just look small and offer whatever y’ wanna do, yeah?”

Gahi rolled a berry toward the Paras horde. A particularly bold one skittered closer, snatching the berry away. It nibbled a few times, still tense, and eventually relaxed after Owen did. The Charmander smiled, showing his teeth—a small mistake, as the Paras hissed and skittered away again.

“Good going,” Gahi mumbled.

“Look, I’m not familiar with Paras, alright?” Owen rolled another one over. This time, a few more Paras leaked from the pile, nibbling at their offerings. And then a few more, and then more still, until the whole horde had gathered in front of them to feast on the bounty. Burns slowly reversed, cooked mushrooms simply looking a bit chipped. Dull light touched upon anywhere the burns had been, dimming when they were completely gone.

“Happy?” Gahi asked Owen once the Paras accepted the group as safe enough to tolerate. “Looks like these guys are.”

Demitri and Mispy, once they saw that the poisonous fog had faded, joined them to watch the feral Pokémon up close. It was oddly calming to see the horde feed, watching the way their mandibles meticulously tore at the pulp. “You seemed kinda invested in this,” Demitri commented. “I mean, they probably could have just climbed the trees and gotten it on their own, y’know?”

“Maybe.” Owen watched a particularly small Paras wrestle with a particularly large berry, grinning—this time, without showing his teeth. “I guess I’m a little self-conscious about it.”

“I guess y’did beat ‘em up kinda bad,” Gahi said. “Didn’t think they looked that bad when we passed ‘em by the first time. Maybe they’re just the ones that got roughed up the most.”

“You know… A lot of these don’t look like your flames, Owen,” Demitri said, pointing at the Paras. “Looks like some of these guys got hit by something a lot worse. But at least the burns are gone.”

Owen rubbed his head. Foggy as his memory was, Demitri did have a point. He hadn’t fought too many of them. He couldn’t have burned these all. Still, it was a good thing he came when he did. “Either way, I’m glad I came to undo some damage.”

“What makes you self-conscious, eh?” Gahi asked.

Owen smiled sadly. “Well… just fire in general, I guess. It’s not like Dragon might, like Demitri, where it’s… more graceful and controlled and… you know.”

Demitri blushed under his green scales, rubbing at one of his tusks. “I dunno if I’m all that graceful.”

“He ain’t,” Gahi confirmed.

Owen observed the Paras. The ones that had their fill skittered away thanklessly, while the more gluttonous ones remained to nibble on a few more.

“Basic Fire isn’t the same as Dragon fire,” Owen said. “It’s… untamed. Violent. Hungry. If I don’t keep it in check… I could do a lot more damage than I need to.” Once the final few Paras left, Owen brought his tail forward and inspected the flame at the end. “I guess I just want to be careful. And if I slip up and get carried away… I want to make things right. That’s part of being a Heart. No fighting if you don’t need to.”

Gahi said nothing. He opened his mouth, but then closed it, looking to Demitri and Mispy to say something instead.

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Demitri said, patting Owen on the shoulder. “Dragon fire can do some serious damage, too. If it burns some bushes, it’ll become a normal fire just from the heat. Ethereal or not, heat is heat. I guess I don’t have to worry as much since, er, I usually just use brute force…”

Owen smiled, rubbing his nose. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. You seem like you’ve got a lot of muscle; may as well use what you’re good at. I’m a little on the scrawnier side.”

Mispy smiled, sighing. “They’re gone,” she said, pointing a vine toward the departing Paras.

“Yeah.” Owen stood up, his flame a cheerful orange. “Sorry for the detour. I’m ready to head to your guys’ place.”

“Meh…” Gahi looked at the eaten pile of berries. “I guess it’s worth it.”

<><><>​

Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi lived in a small cave near the western base of the mountain. The rocks here were a lot lighter—closer to a reddish-brown color than the dark basalt of Kilo Village’s crater. Hardy trees dotted the rocky exterior of their home, with Oran Berries growing from the tops of some, and apples from others. Gentle winds washed the leaves, making the ripe fruits fall from their branches when a particularly strong gust passed.

“Convenient,” Owen said. “And the Waypoint led us almost right to here.”

“Yeah, all Hearts get that sorta treatment,” Gahi said. “Guess it’s a benefit fer working under the Hearts, keeping the world nice and safe.”

“Yeah,” Owen said. “But, it’s just so cool! The way you guys just beat that Aerodactyl without any trouble!”

“Well, there was a little trouble,” Demitri said.

“Yeah, had ter keep yeh safe,” Gahi said. “But sure. No trouble.”

“Mnn.” Mispy sniffed the air.

Owen smelled dinner.

“That smells good,” Owen said. “Umm—so, your mentor! How is he? What’s he like in person and stuff?”

“Lucario Rhys is, uh, he’s nice,” Demitri said. “He just happens to also be, er, strict, sometimes. You know. But it’s all part of being trained, right? I guess it’s not that bad.”

“Jus’ wish he didn’t make us meditate all mornin’,” Gahi said.

“Meditating?” Owen said. “You guys meditate, too? I do it all the time! It’s really nice to clear your head.”

“Aw, not you, too,” Gahi grumbled, wobbling into the cave.

Mispy, too, was disappointed. “Boring.”

“I—I’m not boring,” Owen squeaked.

“Oi, Rhys! We’re home!” Gahi said. “Mission went fine! Brought a guest!”

“A guest?” Rhys said. “I should prepare another portion.”

Owen ran to get a first look. And there he was: Elite Heart Lucario Rhys. His red eyes were intense, but Owen felt oddly safe when looking into them. His aura sensors—the strange, black, teardrop-like extensions behind his ears—were a bit larger than average. His fur was long and thick against his body that screamed ‘experience.’

“H-hi!” Owen said. “It’s nice t-to meet you, Elite Heart!”

Rhys stared at Owen for a bit longer than Owen thought was normal. Owen noticed his fur puff out. For a split-second, his paws glowed with a light blue, aura ember.

“Rhys?” Demitri said.

“Sorry,” Rhys said. “I was thinking about what I could prepare for a Charmander.”

No, you weren’t, Owen thought. “Oh! Anything’s fine. I promise! I’m good to eat anything as long as it isn’t dirt.”

“Well, dirt ain’t how Rhys cooks,” Gahi said.

“Yeah, Rhys is a good chef!” Demitri said. “You’ll love whatever he makes.”

“Ha, okay.” Owen took in the new environment. The immediate entryway was a short walk, perhaps only a few of his tiny paces. After the entryway was a larger, dome-shaped segment of the cave. The stone table in the middle of the room was where they ate; the edges of the room had equipment like a stone stove, cabinets, and shelves for storing nonperishable food. Owen was surprised at how elaborate it was. “You guys have a lot of stuff here!”

Rhys nodded. “With our earnings, we have been able to purchase a few luxuries.”

Owen sat at the table. From where he was positioned, he could see further into the cave. It was like a hallway that split off into separate rooms. They seemed like ordinary rooms… but one seemed to be glowing.

What Owen saw next made him rub his eyes. There was a cloud—a very fine mist, like a pinkish haze. It didn’t move with any breezes. Oh, no, Owen said. Now I’m starting to see things! Can anybody else—? Owen glanced at the others. Mispy’s leaf was twitching like she had an itch. Demitri and Gahi were too focused on Rhys’ cooking.

Rhys was moving stiffly. That was odd. He usually moved with a graceful flow. Did he notice?

“Rhys?” Owen spoke up. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yes, Owen, why do you ask?”

Owen looked at the pink cloud. Gone.

“Nothing. Just tired. So, uh.” Owen grabbed his tail so he had something to do. “Team Alloy. That’s a pretty cool name.”

“Alakazam Nevren helped us come up with it!” Demitri said. “It’s really cool. Something about how stronger metals are made from weaker metals working together. It’s awesome!”

“Hmph,” Rhys said.

“Heh, Rhys is mad ‘cause he didn’t say it first,” Gahi said.

Owen giggled. He had to admit, it sounded clever. He certainly saw that kind of fighting in the Dungeon, too. They worked very cohesively. He wondered if he’d be able to contribute to a team like that…

Out of the corner of his eye, the pink mist bobbed in and out of the room.

Unable to contain himself, Owen asked, “Hey, so, is this cave haunted?”

“Yes,” Mispy blurted.

“Baah, no it ain’t,” Gahi said, waving his head dismissively. “You guys’re just superstitious. Sometimes the wind blows funny, that’s all. Mispy always gets like this.”

“It’s true!” Mispy said.

Gahi and Demitri both looked at the hall. The pink mist was gone.

“L-look, this place is creepy sometimes, alright?” Demitri said. “We see little, like, colors floating around sometimes. All of us! So, it has to be real.”

“Colors? Like pink?” Owen said.

“Pink? No, usually greens and yellows,” Demitri said.

Rhys sighed, pausing his food prep. “I am the one who is most in tune with the aura,” he said. “And I say that whatever phenomenon it is, it’s nothing to worry about. Now, enough talk of spirits. Dinner is ready.”

And just like that, their idle talk about ghosts subsided. It must have been a common occurrence for it to be dismissed so easily, but Owen decided to put this piece of the puzzle in his mental notes.

Rhys served out the food—a hearty stew, this time, filled with mostly savory items. Owen happily gobbled his portion; it reminded him of what he ate for breakfast. Breakfast… “Oh!” Owen suddenly said. “I—I forgot! My parents were gonna freak out if I didn’t get back before the evening!”

Owen thought to use his Badge, but having just used it to return to the Central Waypoint in Kilo Village, it wouldn’t have the energy to warp him again until tomorrow. More importantly, he didn’t have a Waypoint registered for Hot Spot Cave—after all, if someone stole his Badge, they could theoretically warp right to that secret village. He’d have to use the public Waypoints instead, and then walk the rest of the way.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Demitri said. “We’ll just bring you home instead! Your parents won’t worry too much, right?”

“Dad might explode,” Owen said. “Literally. He’s a Magmortar, and he kinda does this thing with his arms when he’s nervous, and I’m worried he might—like—fire into his own hand, or something. I dunno what happens after that. But he might actually die from anxiety if I don’t get home in time.”

“Uhh—well—too late now,” Demitri said. “We’ll just run really fast to get you there?”

“O-oh, uh, actually, about that. My parents said that I can’t bring people back home because it’s a secret where I live and stuff.”

Owen wondered if Mispy stared at people with that ‘Are you an idiot’ look by default.

“I see,” Rhys said, nodding. “That’s understandable.”

“Wait, it is?” Demitri said. “How is that—who has a secret home?!”

Rhys shrugged noncommittally. “Some areas enjoy privacy. Don’t worry, Owen. But it’s still unsafe to wander alone at night without supplies. Hrm, but your parents will still worry, won’t they?” Rhys hummed again, looking between the three members of Team Alloy. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to let you three go at a time like this.”

This was his chance. “So, does that mean… you’ll be bringing me there? Or, u-um, I can just go on my own.”

“You may call me Rhys,” he said with a small smile. “And I would be happy to.”

He would? Owen didn’t expect that to work. In fact, in hindsight, it felt forward, and rude. But there was an odd sort of familiarity that he felt with Rhys. Then again, aside from the Aerodactyl, that was how he’d been feeling all day. And Rhys seemed to know him, too, given how casually he spoke. He had heard from rumors that Rhys was usually incredibly stiff.

“Okay—Rhys. Um, since you’re an Elite, I can trust you with a secret, right?”

“Of where your parents live?” Rhys asked. “Revealing this to me will change nothing.”

“Okay. Then after dinner, it’s really okay if…?”

“Yes. It shouldn’t be a very long walk, yes?”

“Nope! The Waypoint is close.”

With the thought that he’d be able to walk and talk with one of the best Hearts in the whole world, Owen ate the rest of his dinner faster than a Swalot.

Okay, Owen thought between bites. So, everything today feels weirder than usual. And I’m pretty sure I wasn’t dreaming last night. Did Dad actually explode? Did I get attacked by another of those mutant things? Nngh, or am I just losing it? Nevren’s a Psychic, right? Maybe he can fix my brain.

He then glanced at Rhys’ room. He saw the pink mist again. Oh, Mew in the stars, he thought, taking his final bite. Can’t I have just one normal day?

 

[canisaries]

“Th-those are illegal! You can’t use those without Association permission!” But Owen realized shortly after that this was an outlaw. What was one broken rule if they already cast the law aside?

you can't break the law! that's illegal!

Why does this always happen when a quick escape was needed the most?!

Did, right?

The gray fossil-Pokémon

Hmm... I'm guessing it's more of a living fossil kinda thing, then, as I doubt they have labs for resurrection here.

“Hey!” Owen said. “How about this?!” He grabbed something from his bag and threw it at the outlaw. It was another seed—one that, upon hitting him, popped and scattered a strange dust around the Pokémon.

“Wh—huh?! Why you—little—!” He was bumbling where he stood, wobbling horribly. His jaws opened wide and he fired—unexpectantly—a set of rocky pellets toward Owen. Rock Blast—Owen was sure his species wasn’t capable of such a technique normally.

Am I slow for not being able to figure out what kind of seed that was? I thought it was a Blind Seed for a while, but then the Aerodactyl just kind of walks over to Owen and nabs his stuff right after.

And then he prayed to Arceus that he’d be able to wake up after it.

From personal experience, I say be careful with mentioning the big goat upstairs. When I hear someone mention Arceus in the way God would be in Western dialogue, I assume that the character has gained the concept of a god above all others worth praying to from somewhere. If the fic turns out to never address that, it ends up looking like a simple find-and-replace of God to Arceus.

There's two ways to go about this, really. One is changing Arceus to something pretty vague like "the heavens" to imply that there are some beliefs and religions in the world, but they're not too structured or distinguished where the speaker comes from and live on mostly through sayings and such. The other is to actually create some kind of religion and explain its presence by showing churches, practitioners, religious texts or so on. Otherwise it'll turn out seeming like Pokémon just instinctively know about Arceus since they're born, which in turn kind of raises more questions than it answers.

He heard the Aerodactyl a scream of fright,

Some words missing here?

Demitri nodded and rummaged for their Badge. And so, in a flash of reddish-white light, the Badge transported the group out of the Dungeon and to the center of town.

I'm a bit curious as to how these badges work... I know the games themselves don't explain this, but can they only teleport the team back once the expedition is complete? How does the Badge know it? Or can they be used to teleport at any time?

“Hypnosis puts Pokémon to sleep. They do not control them.”

"They" sounds like the wrong pronoun here, or the thing it referred to wasn't properly established.

“So,” Demitri continued, “what happens is they can contribute back to society instead of being worse than some random wild Pokémon. That make sense?”

“Yeah! It totally does!” Owen said. “I can’t believe it’s so nice, though! I guess Anam is even better than I thought.”

I guess this explains where all the outlaws go in the PMD games with no prisons or executions mentioned. It's a very smart, nice solution, at least on paper. Wonder what happens to the criminals that refuse to work, though...

Rhys was staring at Owen for a bit longer than everyone in the room thought comfortable. Owen noticed his fur puff out. For a split-second, his paws glowed with an aural ember.

“Rhys?” Demitri said.

“I’m—sorry,” Rhys said. “I was thinking about what I could prepare for a Charmander.”

or..... how to prepare a charmander.....

All of the other rooms didn’t glow.

Would sound better as "none of the other rooms glowed", imo.

And I say that whatever phenomena it is, it’s nothing to worry about.

Phenomena is the plural, phenomenon is the singular.

It almost felt like it was urging him somewhere into Rhys’ room.

Wording seems odd here... but then again, I'm not a native.

I don't really have anything profound to say about this chapter, just know that I'm still very hooked. See you round!

 

[Namohysip]

Chapter 3 – Ceremony of Advancement​

With dinner finished and plates cleaned, Rhys dismissed the trio to their rooms. Gahi wobbled into the left, deeper room. Demitri and Mispy head into the left room closer to the kitchen. Owen noticed that Mispy was being quite pushy with Demitri, playfully prodding at his back with her vines. Demitri, meanwhile, meekly bumped against her with his tusks, flicking his tiny tail against her front legs, which earned a giggle in response.

“Bah, get a room,” Gahi muttered.

“We are,” Mispy countered.

Owen chuckled nostalgically at the three. He decided, for now, to ignore why he had felt like reminiscing on memories he did not have. Seeing the three head into two bedrooms answered the use of part of the house. Figuring one of the remaining two was Rhys’ quarters, which left one unaccounted for.

“Uh, Rhys?” Owen pointed down the hall. “What’s that room supposed to be? The one there?”

“The furthest, right room? That is for storage of our supplies,” Rhys said. “Extra items that aren’t supported as easily in the official Heart storage facilities. Spare furniture, and the like.”

“Oh, so the glowy room is yours?” Owen asked, leaving no question unasked.

“Yes,” Rhys said.

“So,” Owen said slowly, “why’s it glow?”

“I have a few items in my room that glow,” he said. “It is nothing else, really.”

“Oh, okay.” He wasn’t convinced. “Nothing about any ghosts, maybe? Spirits, little,” Owen paused, “pink clouds?”

“Pink,” Rhys repeated. “Are you sure it was pink?”

The right side of Owen’s lips twitched upward. He got him this time. “Yeah, definitely pink.”

“Hrmm.” Rhys’ ears twitched, the aura sensors accompanying them rising just slightly. “What was this pink cloud doing?”

“Kinda, well, bobbing around when I looked at it. And then it went into your room.”

“I see.” He spoke analytically, but it felt forced. “Thank you, Owen. I will investigate this later, but it’s far too late tonight. I will take you home.”

Owen relented. It was late, and he was tired, and Alex was going to blow up with worry. A fresh day could help him think straight.

<><><>​

“So, this is Hot Spot Road,” Owen said, walking down the road he’d taken to get to Kilo Village that morning. To the left was a rocky hill with boulders the size of Rhys. To the right was a great field of light green grass that went up to Owen’s chest. With the sun already down, it was hard to see much more than a sea of wavy blackness in the fields and jagged darkness in the mountains, though the tops still stood out against the barely-lit sky.

The walk felt so leisurely and casual despite Rhys being an Elite.

Should he say anything? No. He’d look like a complete lunatic. But if he didn’t ask, it’d bother him all night, and then the next night. He had to ask. So, he stopped walking.

Rhys stopped, too. Owen wondered if he’d expected that.

“Rhys…” Owen turned to face him. “Do I know you?”

For just a second, it was as if the very wind had stopped between them. For that instant, nothing else mattered but the two of them. The rustling, tall grass quieted. The sunset and twilight ruled the world, save the flame that lit Owen’s back.

The Lucario’s eyes, which glowed just barely in the darkness, held no expression; that, in itself, was abnormal to Owen. Why would someone not react to such an outlandish statement unless they were prepared for it?

But after that silence, Rhys replied. “Well, I imagine you would.” He shrugged noncommittally, though his evasion of eye contact said more. “As an Elite Heart, I’m known by many.”

Not good enough. “No, but… know you, know you,” Owen pressed. “Like I used to chat with you and stuff. Do you ever get the feeling that you know somebody for a lot longer than you actually do? That there’s more to it?”

Rhys blinked a few times. Owen’s heartbeat picked up in both frequency and intensity. He tried to get a read for Rhys and his tension, but it was too hard. He was too controlled this time. Owen had a knack for being aware of these bodily cues, but he couldn’t get anything from Rhys.

Finally, Rhys answered. “I do not believe in love at first sight.”

Simultaneously, Owen’s tail burned white and his heart skipped a beat. “N-not in that way!”

He turned around and walked again. He puffed into his hands, letting the flames escape between his fingers. How could he have said it in that way? As if he was trying to propose to Rhys some sort of—courting—Owen shook his head fiercely, imagining a scenario where Rhys would have blushed and said yes. He’d’ve had to let Rhys down nicely, say that wasn’t what he meant. And then, for all eternity, any interaction he’d ever have with his idol would be awkward.

Slowly, his flame returned to normal. “Sorry,” he finally said. “I guess I’m just a little tired after the day. I didn’t expect to get pelted by rocks in that forest, is all. And I’m pretty sure he broke the quick-call limit on his techniques. Maybe I’m just delirious.”

“Mm, that could be it. I’m glad that I can give off such a friendly aura, though. Thank you, Owen.” Rhys chuckled. At least one of them got to be happy…

“Ha! Totally,” Owen agreed. He was screaming inside.

He didn’t know what to make of it, so he just smiled and laughed. He saw no other opening to probing Rhys for those odd feelings of familiarity. He’d have to deal with tossing and turning at night anyway.

Rhys went on, “Being able to use many elemental techniques quickly, in rapid succession… Most Pokémon are limited to four at once. Anything else takes time and focus to summon forth. They say that rare Pokémon do not have this limit. It’s called Mew’s Blessing. Of course, Mew has not shown her face for a very long time.”

Owen held his skeptical tongue.

“But that could be an explanation if Aerodactyl inherited such a blessing from his ancestry.”

They walked for a while longer, the conversations transitioning to small talk again. Owen huffed a small sigh, a few sparks of irritability leaving his nostrils. He was home. “So, don’t tell anybody about this, okay? We’re going to Hot Spot Village—it’s a secret, underground town. That’s where I live. And, um, you can only get in if you say the passcode, and do the pose.” Owen said the last part in such a soft tone that Rhys only heard it thanks to his keen hearing.

“…Pose.”

“Yeah. Okay, so, I’ll do it, but you have to turn away!”

Rhys squinted but humored him.

Owen, after verifying that Rhys wasn’t watching, turned toward what looked like an innocuous boulder next to the road. A motion accompanied each syllable. He whispered, albeit loudly, the words:

“Hot! Spot! Hot! Spot! Open up, Hotspot Cave!” Owen had raised his left arm, then his right arm, and then brought his left arm down, and then his right arm. This was followed by swaying to the left, and then the right, and then the left and right again; next, he stepped backward, and finally advanced.

Rhys was rubbing the top of his muzzle, cringing. He wasn’t the only one. Every time Owen did this dance, a tiny part of his Char heart withered away. The wind carried its remnants.

“There,” Owen said. He looked back and saw Rhys trying to hide from the world with his paw. “What? It’s not too bad. And nobody would dare do it, so it’s the perfect disguise!”

After a delay, the boulder rolled to the right, revealing a hidden passageway into the ground. It was dimly lit by blue mushrooms that gave off a soft, cyan glow.

“Thanks, Rhys!” Owen said. “That was a safe trip. You should get home now, huh?”

“Yes. Thank you for letting me guard you, Owen,” he said. “Stay safe. Be sure to keep up your meditation.”

“Oh, sure!” Owen pumped a fist. “Yeah, you make Team Alloy do the same thing, right?”

“Yes, I do, that’s right,” Rhys said. “It’s very important for everyone.”

“Yeah. Okay! See you, Rhys!”

Owen watched Rhys leave for a bit longer. No, it wasn’t just some delusion. Unless he completely lost it, Rhys was hiding something. And perhaps Nevren, too. But then again, he probably just heard and saw them a lot. Both of them. They were Elite Hearts, after all.

There was no use focusing on the negative. Every night ended like this, wondering if he’d done something, or everything, of that day before. A lot of this felt new, yet he still had that lingering doubt. Maybe he was just getting paranoid.

At some point, it got tiring. He just wanted this perceived monotony to end. But hey, he didn’t have another mental crisis, panicking because he couldn’t remember how old he was. Oh, no. The thoughts were coming back.

He refocused on the positive. “Oh, wow,” he said. “I met two Elites in one day! That’s so… cool!” He bounced slightly but then remembered the timer on the boulder. He ran into the cave; a few seconds later, the boulder rolled back onto the passageway.

He ran past a few other inhabitants in the cavern. There was Auntie Arcanine. She waved at Owen as he passed. There was also a Fennekin, Chimchar, and Flareon trio that often played near the entrance at night before their parents would tell them to pack it in for the night. If anything, he knew he had the townsfolk to see, even if he wasn’t particularly close to any of them. They were all good friends, the village as a whole, no matter the age.

Owen’s house was near the back of the village, where it was even hotter. The home itself was like a cave within a cave; it was a circular entrance—big enough for his father’s bulky, Magmortar frame to fit through—that led into larger, dome-like rooms. Owen then realized the parallel it had with Rhys’ home.

“I’m home, Mom! Dad!” Owen called, stepping into the first, largest room.

“Ohh, Owen!” Amia called back. The Gardevoir adjusted her blue hair; there was a bit of ash remnant on the right side, perhaps from one of the kids’ pranks. She greeted Owen with a scratch under his chin—something Owen always enjoyed. “How did your little exploration go? We heard about what happened. You got in a bit of a scare, didn’t you?”

“Just a little,” Owen said. Should he ask? He was going to ask. “Hey, how’d you find out, anyway? Nobody knows how to deliver letters here!”

“We checked the, er, the bulletin board at the crossroads,” Alex said, stepping inside from the bedroom to Owen’s left. “Someone in town must have put it there.” He tapped his cannon-arms together. “Y-you… you did fine, right? You aren’t hurt?”

“No!” Owen said. “And I already had dinner, too! Lucario Rhys treated me with his Entry Hearts. They were all nice. Sorry that I was a little late.”

Both his parents’ eyes widened with alarm when he mentioned them, but Owen was so mentally exhausted that he decided that this was one battle he’d also ignore. He didn’t even want to bring up his dream of Alex literally exploding. Too much. Later. Another day.

“Oh, I heard of them,” Amia said. “It’s nice that you made some new friends, Owen! But you know what we also heard?” She rapidly clapped her hands together. “Tomorrow is another big day for you.”

“Oh, yeah!” Owen said. “I might become an Entry Heart, too!”

“Exactly! So, get some sleep, Owen!”

“Totally!” Owen nodded. He ran right to bed.

And lingered near the entryway, knowing they’d whisper.

“I trust Rhys,” Amia said quietly. “His students can interact with Owen. It… I don’t think it’ll result in… I mean…”

“It won’t happen all at once,” Alex said. “Let’s just be very careful. I’ll come up with some chores that will keep him here when we need him close.”

The cold anxiety that flowed through his body dimmed his flame. But he was so tired. And if he confronted them now… What would they do?

Later. Another day.

Owen wondered how many times he’d told himself that.

<><><>​

The next afternoon was cloudier, much like Owen’s mood. He’d slept for perhaps a blink or two. Aside from essential missions for lost Pokémon or dangerous outlaws, there weren’t any Hearts going out that day. Instead, the southern portion of Kilo Village’s roads was packed, waiting for a big announcement at the top of the stairs to the main Heart building.

The southern side of Kilo Village was usually only sparingly populated with bystander Pokémon entering the line of warp pads along the roadway. Now? It was a sea of all shapes and sizes. A Pachirisu was balanced atop a Rhydon’s head. A school of Magikarp hopped as high as they could to get precious glances at the stairs that led to the Heart. A pair of Girafarig chatted while their tails nipped at one another.

Alakazam Nevren stood at the top of the stairs, assisting with an Exploud holding two hooks. Exploud kept his mouth open while holding the hooks. Nevren held a strange, black, rod-like device, waiting for their speaker to arrive.

Owen admired the significance of this gathering. The sheer number—almost all of the thousand combatants of the Hearts were right there, in Kilo Village, at the same time, not to mention the countless others who assisted with supplies, management, communications…

He was trapped between a Tyranitar and a Hippowdon. He stood near the back, trying to get a look—but with all the bigger, stronger Pokémon in the way, this was impossible. “C’mon, c’mon—can I get a little room, please?” Owen begged, pressed between a rocky thigh and a sandy hide.

“Hey!”

Owen struggled to look back, finally slipping out from their crushing bodies.

Demitri waved at him from a little hill. His green, scaly body was barely noticeable—he was just so small! Mispy was next to him, waving her long vines for better visibility.

Owen thought it was a bit too far away, but he complied anyway, if only so he didn’t get stomped on. He rushed over, weaving between the crowd with a series of ‘sorry!’ and ‘excuse me!’ mumbles.

“Need help?” a kind Machamp asked.

“Yes, please! There!” Owen said, pointing at Demitri and Mispy.

The Machamp brought a hand over his eyes and squinted, then nodded. He plucked Owen off of the ground and threw him in a far, wide arc over the crowd.

Demitri, startled, held up his arms and prepared to catch him, constantly repositioning in a panic. Mispy watched calmly, wrapping a vine around Demitri and pulling him half a foot to the left.

Owen landed perfectly in Demitri’s arms.

“Oof!” Owen wheezed as Demitri placed him on the ground. “Thanks for finding a free spot,” he said.

“It’s a good vantage point,” Demitri said, pointing ahead. “Oh! Here, if you want to get a better look, Rhys brought a Zoom Lens.” Demitri handed Owen a bulky pair of white glasses.

“Wh-what? These are valuable, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, but there are better items to use in battle.”

“Where’s Rhys, anyway?” Owen asked, looking around.

“All Elite members are supposed to be up front to send off the retired Hearts,” Demitri said. “So, we’re standing here for now to watch. All the front seats are for the Elites, anyway.”

Owen nodded and put the Zoom Lens on. He saw a bird-like Pokémon with a green, grassy hood. “Oh! There’s Decidueye James!”

“The second-in-command?” asked Demitri.

“What’s there?” Gahi asked, grabbing the Zoom Lens and struggling to use it on his huge head. “Bahh, these tools ain’t good fer Pokémon like me. Where’s the Trapinch-friendly gear?”

“Probably the same place you left your vocabulary,” Demitri muttered. This earned a swat from Gahi’s head.

“Enough,” Mispy said, using her vines to pull the two apart. They were strong enough to hold Gahi in the air.

“Oi, oi, l-lemme go!” Gahi wiggled his tiny legs uselessly.

Demitri huffed and leaned against Mispy’s vines, rolling his eyes. He turned his attention back to the ceremony preparations.

Gahi eventually calmed down enough for Mispy to set him back on the ground.

“Oh, oh!” Owen said. “There he is!”

The Heart of Hearts, Goodra Anam, had finally exited the building. The leader of Kilo’s eyes were big, and his body was as slimy as ever. There was always an energetic glow about him. Owen knew the sight well.

Anam took the device attached to the Exploud and looked at the crowd. He gave off a big, happy smile to them all. Owen didn’t need a Zoom Lens to see a smile that big. Anam waved, and slime shook off from the arm; James respectfully backed up to avoid dirtying his feathers.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming!” Anam shouted from the top, his voice surprisingly high-pitched. “I’d like to first welcome our Elite Hearts to the front so that we can see the best of our Hearts—role models that I hope you all will aspire towards!”

Claps, stomps, and cheers echoed from the audience while the Elites all walked up. While there were several Elites, three were more distinguished than the rest—Nevren, Rhys, and that Decidueye, James. Owen spotted that Golem from before among the other Elites, or perhaps sub-Elites in practice.

“Hey, what’s that?” Owen asked. Rhys was holding onto a small bag. Nobody else had one—why did Rhys bring a bag with him for this event?

“Feh, he brought that weird glowing ball,” Gahi said.

“Glowing?” Owen asked, recalling the strange glow when he had dinner with them the night before. “What is that thing, anyway?”

“No idea,” Gahi said.

“It’s this weird, green, swirly thing, like a giant orb, y’know? But Rhys always says that we’re never, ever supposed to touch it,” Demitri said.

Mispy nodded. “Ever.”

“I think I touched it once,” Gahi said. “Bu’ then I blacked out befer I could. Dunno how that happened. I ain’t gonna risk tryin’ again.”

“He moved it with a thick cloth and then sealed the bag,” Demitri said. “Not even he wants to touch it.”

“I once made ‘m slip, though,” Gahi said. “He told me it’s really strong, heh. So, I guess he doesn’t wanna get too strong.”

“He keeps it on the highest shelf,” Demitri said. “Too tall for Mispy’s vines to reach, and Gahi’s too short.”

“And you hate heights,” Mispy mumbled.

“D-do not!” Demitri said.

Anam continued. “I would also like to take a moment of silence in acknowledgment of the hard work that our departed Hearts have done for Kilo Village, and indeed, the whole world.”

This was a lot more formal than usual. It must have been rehearsed extensively. Owen could only imagine James exasperatedly trying to get Anam to remember the words properly.

Anam lowered his head. He then listed off a set of names, some of which Owen caught as familiar. They were all very old Pokémon that had worked at the dojo. Owen also heard names of other Hearts and realized that all of these had, over the year, died one way or another due to a mishap or other fatality in the line of duty. His tail dimmed in solemn respect; as noble as the job was, it didn’t come without risks. That was the whole point of their line of work: doing what’s dangerous so civilians could live safely.

Owen scanned the crowd immediately near Anam with his Zoom Lens. There was a Granbull next to a Nidoking, shoulder to shoulder. The Granbull was trembling but remained stoic. The only sign of emotion she showed was when she leaned against the Nidoking. He, meanwhile, was staring intensely at nothing, tears streaming down his face.

Anam spoke up. “We would like to thank Granbull Jin for his line of work, and grant him the title of Eternal Heart.”

Owen remembered reading about this story moons ago, during the winter. A strange mutant that had been described as a Golduck by some and a Toucannon by others had gotten dangerously close to Kilo Village. Jin had gotten there first, and he fought it alone, buying time before the Elites had arrived. A freak accident where everything had gone just slightly wrong. Despite Owen’s foggy memory, a vague image crossed his mind of seeing Alakazam Nevren passing through the town the day after, visibly upset, yet silent.

“His sacrifice saved the lives of countless others. For that, we are eternally grateful, and we wish upon him eternal peace in the welcoming arms of Arceus.”

Owen shifted uncomfortably, keeping his head down.

“By His blessing,” Anam said, raising his arms slowly.

“By His blessing,” some of the audience echoed; Owen followed, slightly out of sync.

Owen glanced up, thinking that it was over, but then realized that nearly the entire crowd had their heads down in silence. Flame sparking, he quickly brought his head back down—but the corner of his eye caught something.

Anam was glowing. It was subtle, but under the dim light of the cloudy sky, the Goodra had a weak, blue glow. Rhys’ bag, too, had an ethereal radiance. The Lucario was trying to cover it up with small movements of his paws.

As soon as it came, it faded. Anam and Rhys looked normal again, and the moment of silence passed.

“Thank you,” Anam said.

I—I’m not the only one who saw that, right? No, everyone had their heads down. But someone else had to have—

He glanced at Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi. They were all looking down, too. He then looked to his right. He saw a pair of Pokémon murmuring to one another. He tried to listen in.

“Glowed? Did he glow?”

“I saw Goodra Anam glow!”

“Maybe the rumors are true. They say the Heart of Hearts used to be a priest…”

“Maybe he is holy? Oh, thank Arceus, the whole town is blessed!”

Excuse me? He dismissed the notion immediately. Glowing like that happened all the time! The Hot Spot mushrooms glowed in the same way! It was simple bio-luminescence. Perhaps Anam was just a rare variety of Goodra, or he had some glowing moss as part of his breakfast or last night’s dinner. Owen had that once. It was embarrassing.

“And now,” Anam said, “I’d like to have all sixteen Old Hearts come up.” He clapped at the incoming sixteen. “You all have done a great job for all of us, haven’t you? All of your work. None of it will be forgotten! The many Pokémon that you’ve rescued, the many outlaws that you’ve corrected… th-the fun times that we all shared, training, talking… all of that… a-all of…!” Anam sniffled. Rhys rubbed the top of his muzzle; James visibly sighed; Nevren’s left eye twitched.

The Goodra broke down in a wail, rubbing his eyes with his free arm, flinging off slime and gooey tears in many directions. The combination of paying his respects to the dead, and then saying goodbye to so many heroic Pokémon, was too much for the leader of Kilo Village.

James pried the audio amplifier from Anam’s grabbers and continued the speech—which he had memorized for just such an occasion. “All of your efforts will be forever remembered in our records, and we all look forward to your relaxed lives as mentors and tutors for the next generation of Hearts that will take your place. We thank you all, and wish you all happy lives for many years to come.”

The audience, nearly as a whole, sighed.

Gahi clicked his jaws and bumped against Demitri’s tusks. “Every time with this guy.”

The Axew picked at his tusks thoughtfully. “It’s hard to believe that the leader of the Thousand Hearts has such a… bleeding heart for all his members.”

“Not really,” Mispy said, pulling Demitri’s claws away so he stopped chipping at his tusks.

Demitri awkwardly lowered his claws. “Yeah, I guess when I say it that way, it makes perfect sense.”

It sounded like James was finishing up the speech that Anam was too scattered to finish. Instead, while James read out the retiring Hearts’ names, Anam shook the hands, paws, hooves, and wings of those retiring or—in the case of a Magcargo—giving a respectful, sniffling nod.

“Th-thank you, f-for all you’ve done!” Anam sniffed. “Nn… nggooh… mmbbbn…!”

A few of the Old Hearts were a bit misty-eyed, too. Perhaps it was contagious. Maybe he smelled like pungent glowing moss. Someone approached Nevren on the side. Whatever was said was enough for him to discretely descend the stairs to talk away from the crowd.

“Anam’s very compassionate,” Owen admitted. “I think that’s a good trait in a leader, even if he takes it a little far.” His fire brightened. “To think I might one day be standing in front of him, retiring after decades of hard work. And then I’d start teaching new Hearts how to fight in a dojo or something like that. Yeah. That’s what I want. Maybe not the whole Arceus thing, but I’d like to be remembered a little.”

“Ain’t you thinkin’ ahead,” Gahi said, an amused glint in his eyes.

“I would also like to announce,” James said, scanning the crowd, “that with these sixteen Old Hearts leaving, we now need sixteen new members. To all those, ngh, Heart-working individuals with Provisionary Badges, we will be holding preliminary tests throughout today in the many dojos in Kilo Village.”

“Heh,” Gahi said. “Well lookit that, Owen. Guess that means yer gonna—where’d he go?”

Owen was already sprinting to the dojo.

<><><>​

Stiff silence filled a wide room in the training district of Kilo Village. Owen sat on the floor with a tiny, lap-height desk in front of him, going just above his belly. His flame was dim with concentration and his claws glowed with residual fire. In front of him was a sheet of paper with thirty questions on it, each one more difficult than the last, though all of them were multiple choice. The dreaded five-option multiple choice, of course.

An irritable buzzing sounded on his left. He glanced over and saw a Voltorb staring very hard at his paper, which was on a similar desk, though at ground level. Then, with a pop, a bolt singed one of the bubbles

To his right was a Gyarados, mouth closed in intense concentration, staring at a supersized version of the paper below him. His huge, serpentine form was pressed against the corner of the building so he wasn’t in the way, and he was using his whiskers dipped in ink to answer the questions. He was on the fourth, it seemed.

The questions were changed around this year, so Owen couldn’t just blaze through it like last time. He sighed against his pointer claw, maintaining a small ember at the tip. He scorched his answer into the sixth question.

In the back of the room was a large tank of water that drained into a bucket like an hourglass. A traditional timekeeper for a traditional organization. It was meant to last a thousand seconds—for some reason, Anam had a bit of an obsession with a thousand—but that wasn’t nearly enough time to answer all the questions. Every single one was tricky in some way. Policies intermingling, rare situations, but they all mattered. Equipment management, dealing with ferals morally, an outlaw with a hostage, survival tactics with minimal gear…

Before Owen knew it, the Scyther at the front of the room clicked. “Time’s up!”

“Urgh…” Owen breathed, hissing inwardly, and churred at the four empty questions at the end. He turned his paper over and slid it forward for the assistant Grumpig to collect. Stealing a few glances around, he felt at least a bit more confident that he’d pass. The academics were always easy for him; it seemed that most of the other test-takers could only answer a little over half the questions in time.

Wait. Did he put his name on the—Yes. He did. He saw his name when Grumpig took his sheet.

Owen sighed, standing up. That was one test down. Time for the fighting. With a quick walk outside—pressing against the wall when Gyarados stormed through, barely able to keep his sobs from becoming wails—Owen went across the dirt road and into the next building, wiping his feet on the grass just by the entrance.

Something went flying past Owen; he ducked just in time, feeling the cool sting of water brush against his scales.

“S-sorry!” a Dewott said, but then shrieked when a Shadow Ball slammed against his back. It exploded, sending him toppling forward in a crumpled, groaning heap.

“Don’t get distracted.” A Decidueye straightened his wings out, looking down at Dewott. “That will be all for the test. Please allow the next in line to fight. Your results will be recorded and presented to you alongside your academic score.”

Dewott sniffled and stood up shakily. Off to the side, an Audino waved him down; once he was close enough, a healing wave of energy quickly patched up his small wounds.

Owen breathed slowly. He was going to be fighting James, was he? But he seemed a lot weaker than usual. As Anam’s second-in-command, he could probably beat all of the Heart candidates at the same time.

Just next door, Owen heard the faded voice of James speaking to another set of candidates. “Substitute…” Owen mumbled. Curse his foggy memory; it was all coming back to him, now.

James was one of the best Substitute users around. It wasn’t just some doll or some lookalike statue. It was the real deal, making an actual, weaker copy of himself with a part of his aura. That was how James had described it, at least. He wasn’t sure how he was able to do something so intricate that not even the books had records of it.

The fight after Dewott—it was a haughty Nidorino this time—didn’t last much longer. He staggered to Audino for healing, and Owen realized that he had left early compared to other groups. He was next.

“Charmander,” James said, giving a nod. “Ah. Owen. Welcome again.”

Owen grinned. “Hey, Decidueye James. Er—just like last year, right?”

“Yes. I hope you do well this time.”

Owen suppressed a wince. Last time, he had been so nervous that he tripped over his feet and busted his snout before the battle even started. There had been blood everywhere…

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Owen raised his hands in front of his chest, balling them into fists. Fire blazing, he stepped into the makeshift arena within the sparring room—surrounded by a few observers, and nothing else but sturdy walls to withstand particularly intense battles. This would not be one of them, Owen was sure—particularly because it seemed like even as a Substitute, James was holding back.

“Ready?” James asked.

Owen’s fire flashed a bright yellow. That was enough of an answer.

James brought his wings forward, forming a bow-like weave from his wing. An ethereal arrow appeared where his feathers touched the bow. James tugged backward; the string of light stretched; an arrow aimed for Owen’s chest.

Owen reacted with a bubble of fire, though James deftly sidestepped. Owen’s attack missed completely, not so much as a singe on his feathers, and James fired his feathery arrow. Owen knew what a Spirit Shackle felt like and he’d rather not repeat it. He dove out of the way, the feather grazing the flame of his tail, and then rolled to his side. James was already preparing another arrow.

Owen’s Fire Traps would be useless like this. James was too fast and too dangerous to get close to plant one nearby—that aside, he also had no time to set one up in the first place. He just had to wait for an opening. But how was he supposed to find an opening from the Thousand Hearts’ second-in—

Owen didn’t know his legs could send him so high into the air, but he almost made a flip over the ground to dodge another arrow. He landed on all fours, puffing. He had to get James off his guard. He only really knew one way to do that.

Bitter darkness welled up in Owen’s throat. While James prepared another arrow, he spat a black, cloudy sphere toward him. James sidestepped it again, but that wasn’t good enough. It burst into a thick cloud of smoke, enveloping James.

The Decidueye grunted, evaporating his arrow in favor of blowing away the smoke. Now was his chance! Owen rushed toward James, closing the gap, and stomped on the ground, channeling his Ember through his foot. Then, he jumped away, right when the smoke cleared.

Owen spewed a small plume of fire to taunt James. He couldn’t do much after spending his energy on the trap, but it had to be enough so James wasn’t suspicious.

The heat scorched a few of his feathers, but that was all. He wordlessly readied another arrow. Owen retaliated with another blast of fire, this time veering it slightly to James’ left. He sidestepped again—right onto the trap.

Fire erupted from below James, the Decidueye hooting once in surprise. Owen lunged with fire in his throat, spewing flames at the Substitute, but just then, a ball of darkness erupted from the fire.

Eyes wide, Owen cut his flames and crossed his arms. Echoes of a golden dome formed and then shattered—his Protect was too slow. Instead, the Shadow Ball came straight at his chest, exploding on impact. The force sent Owen flying across the room in a spectacular spiral, the ground and ceiling rapidly switching places. He hit the floor three times, bouncing twice, and skidded into the corner of the room.

Owen groaned, the world spinning around him. “I’m okay…”

But his fire burned happily. He landed a good hit on James, and historically, that was more than enough to pass. The Heal Pulse that washed over his body—he was starting to worry about how used to this he was getting—only added to his satisfaction.

By the time his senses returned, he saw a few Pokémon standing over him. James, a Delphox, and the uncannily familiar face of Axew Demitri.

“Oh, hey,” Owen greeted. “Did I win?”

James straightened out the last of his feathers. “You didn’t win, but you passed. You nearly broke this Substitute.” He hooted again, inspecting one of his burned feathers as if it mattered. “I’m quite impressed, but I’m going to have to return myself to James so I may be replaced. Excuse me.”

The Substitute dissolved in a cloud of black mist.

Delphox sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “You must have startled James for him to do an attack like that on you.” He pulled Owen up. “Still, you should’ve guarded that attack. That Protect was slow.”

“I was trying to follow up with my Trap!”

“You got greedy,” Delphox said. “Just remember that next time you fight someone who completely outmatches you.”

Owen grumbled, breathing flames into his hands. This was going to be at least another session or two of meditating. Still, Delphox had a point. “Oh—er, Demitri.” Speaking to someone more his level was better. “Guess I did pretty well here and in the exam portion, huh?”

The Axew nodded twice, clutching at his tusks excitedly. “Yeah, good job!” Demitri said. “So, you’re going to get into the preliminaries! That’s nice, right? That’s gonna happen later in the afternoon, y’know. And then, after that—uh, if it goes the same way as last time—you’ll find out in the evening if you’re in or not. Fast!”

“Yeah… Yeah!” Owen’s eyes were almost as luminous as his fire. “That’s right! This is my shot!”

“We don’t have any urgent missions to take care of,” Demitri said, “so we’ll be there to cheer you on when you take them!”

The Charmander nodded, his flame brighter than ever. Even if he was a bit careless in a fight against someone as strong as James, he would be able to prove himself in the mock mission. Then they’d see—after that, he’ll finally be a full-fledged Heart.

Owen took a short breath to gather his thoughts. As excited as he was about the exams, he still had some time to kill. The lingering thoughts of the orb in Rhys’ bag returned to him.

“Hey,” Owen said to Demitri. “Where’s Rhys? I want to talk to him again.”

 

[canisaries]

Crossposting from Bulba~

figuring one of the remaining two was Rhys room,

Missing apostrophe.

Finally, Rhys answered. “I do not believe in love at first sight.”

Simultaneously, Owen’s tail burned white, and his heart skipped a beat. “N-not in that way!” he squeaked.

ahahahhaha man you really know how to play with tension

A Pachirisu was balanced atop a Rhydon’s head. A school of Magikarp hopped as high as they could to get precious glances at the stairs that led to the Heart. A pair of Girafarig chatted while their tails nipped at one another.

Ah, I love when diversity in crowds of mon is highlighted in ways like these. Can't expect them all to be two-legged furries mammals.

His darker color scheme complimented Mispy’s light-green body; she assisted him, waving her vines to stand out more

Common mistake, the word is actually "complement". Also, missing period at the end.

a place where you all will one day fill!

Either my brain broke, or there's something off about this grammatically.

To all those, ngh, Heart-working individuals

GET OFF THE STAGE

I have to agree somewhat with Ambyssin (over at Bulba) about Team Alloy, but I can say that at least Mispy has been recognizable to me since her introduction. Granted, it's probably a lot because she's the only girl in the group, but I also have a feel of her personality already - and Mispy just really sounds like a Chikorita girl's name, you know? Demitri and Gahi still feel rather interchangeable to me, though, save for the accent. I mostly know which is which because I specifically memorized it as fast as possible - I tend to be poor with names in general, and I knew that small trouble would save me lots more later on, not having to scroll back or deduce from context.

Speaking of names, it feels a bit odd that we have Owens and Alexes and Jameseseses, but then also Rhyses and Nevrens and Gahis. I guess Demitri is an example of a name that falls in the middle of the two groups, with not being a common English first name but still being familiar through another culture. I hope there are more characters with names like his to bridge this somewhat jarring gap.

Also, side note, I always think Owen Wilson when I read Owen. Not your fault but the world's for only having, like, one famous Owen.

 

[Namohysip]

Chapter 4 – Strange Meditation​

Owen forced himself to settle down for lunch. He didn’t know if his heart was racing or sluggish. It was a strange mixture of beating quickly, and then slowing down to rhythmic, loud booms. The excitement killed his appetite, like his stomach was already satiated with his hopes, dreams, and fears, but he knew he had to force something down for the mission portion of the exams.

Ludicolo Café was lined with bright brown walls and large, green tables that resembled a Ludicolo’s hat. Ludicolo himself was dancing along the aisles, serving drinks, along with other assistant waiters and waitresses. The exams were a spectacle for the average citizen, and the activity was a strain on the staff. Owen hoped they got paid extra for this day.

His meal, which he forced himself to enjoy, was an apple smoothie with tough strawberry sweetbread. His next mission could be soon and he didn’t want to have any heavy proteins that would make his lizard brain sluggish. He had to be wary of his instincts.

Lucario Rhys entered the café with the trio.

Good, they got him. “Hey!” Owen waved. His tail blazed a bit brighter with joy.

“Hey, where’s yer folks?” Gahi asked. “Y’know, the ones at that place Rhys brought yeh.”

“Oh, they have to stay inside and do their work and stuff,” Owen said. “They knew I’d be doing all these qualifiers, but…”

“I’m sure they’ll be very proud,” Rhys said, nodding.

Owen eyed the bag around his neck. It was glowing again.

“Well, go on,” Rhys told the three. “Get your food. You skipped breakfast.”

“Meh,” the Trapinch grumbled, wobbling forward first.

Owen watched them get in line but then turned to Rhys. “You aren’t eating?”

“There is no need for now. I will have lunch later.”

“How come they skipped breakfast?”

“I used that as punishment.” The Lucario grunted. “They would have a big lunch to compensate. They were trying to touch some of my treasures again.”

“You mean that orb in your bag?”

No reply; Rhys only held the strap a bit tighter.

“It’s kinda glowing again, isn’t it?” Owen tilted his head. He leaned forward to get a better look, but Rhys placed a paw over it. “I think that pink mist I saw earlier came from that bag. Do you think it wants me to touch—”

“You simply shouldn’t,” Rhys said curtly. “It would be very bad if you touched it here.”

Owen watched Rhys carefully. “Do you know what that mist was? Or who?”

“I cannot be certain,” Rhys lied, and Owen knew that much.

“Can I at least see it?”

“You may not.”

“Is it too strong for normal Po—” Someone tapped on his shoulder. “H-hey! Nevren!”

“I was looking for you!” The Alakazam gave a cheerful little bow. “I wanted to congratulate you on your successful battle against James, much better than any other Charmander on record. Though, I should probably mark it down as an outlier in the logs. After all, you’re a late-evolver, as you call it, hm?”

Owen began with a babble. “Yeah. I did well enough that James had to refresh his Substitute. But it was still not that good—I hope I’m not getting weaker from taking easy assignments or something. I’ve been feeling a little off lately.”

Rhys glanced at Nevren, but then at Owen. “Indeed, you’re quite strong for a Charmander.”

“It isn’t as if Trapinch, Axew, and Chikorita normally do that well, either,” Nevren noted. “And yes, it’s quite strong, but it’s still weak in the grand scheme of the Hearts. Still, he has the benefits of my Eviolite that I gave him,” Nevren said. “Though, during the exams, you will have to go without it, just as you had against James.”

“Aw, I’ll do fine.” Owen waved his claws dismissively. “That Aerodactyl was a fluke.”

“Ahh, Aerodactyl, yes,” Nevren said. “He was quite strong, wasn’t he? I imagine if he cooperated, his performance at the test you took would be quite substantial.” He nodded. “Ahh, Rhys. And how are you doing?”

“Just fine, Nevren.”

Owen sensed, for the briefest moment, a thickness in the atmosphere. Muscles on Rhys looked tense, and Nevren was standing still for longer than usual. Owen rubbed his head—his awareness of the bodies nearby was starting to get to him in such a crowded place. He wished he could turn it off.

“Back!” Gahi said, hauling his head onto the table; on top of Gahi was his plate, which slid onto the table. Demitri and Mispy took their seats next, carrying their plates in a much more normal fashion, with Mispy using her vines.

“D’you like this café, Owen?” Demitri asked.

“It’s good for something quick, and the smoothies!”

Nevren eyed the four of them slowly. “Well! You seem to have these trainees in order, Rhys. Will you be overseeing them?”

“Y-yes,” Rhys said. “I will, though Owen has elsewhere to be than my home.”

“Ahh, that’s true,” Nevren said. “Though, I suspect you may want to mentor him. Is that right?”

There it was again. Owen was sure of it this time. Tension. He felt an atmosphere of irritation, the flicking of Rhys’ tail, the bristling of fur. Or perhaps there was something more. What was it? From Rhys? Or Nevren?

“Yes,” Rhys said. “I think I will.”

Owen stopped focusing on the atmosphere and realized the words being said. “Wait—Rhys, you’re gonna be my mentor?”

“If you pass.”

“I’m gonna get Rhys as a mentor! Y-yes! Yes!” Owen stood up. Forget the creeping dread—he was about to get trained by an Elite! He sprinted off; all that was left behind of him was a stray ember from his tail.

Demitri jumped in surprise. “Wh-where’re you going?!”

“Practicals!”

Demitri stared, but then looked back at Owen’s plate. “He left a bit of his sandwich,” he mourned.

One of Mispy’s vines greedily wrapped around the remains.

<><><>​

There was a long line for the exams. Due to the irregular sizes of everybody waiting in the queue, there was no telling how many were there. Between the Rhydon ahead and the squad of Eevee evolutions behind, it could have been anywhere between five and fifteen Pokémon ahead. Despite this, when Owen stepped in line, it became even longer behind him.

“Talk about lucky.” He leaned to the side to get a better look at what the exams were like. Last year, they were mock Dungeon explorations. It seemed to be the same case this time around. Owen was first able to register his ID, and afterward, agonizingly waited with the other Pokémon for his name to be called.

All the times before, he had been rejected. He wasn’t sure why. He did well in the academic and sparring portions, to the best of his memory.

It looked like candidates were heading into different Waypoints with established Hearts. Owen recognized most of the tiles as connections to weaker Dungeons that he’d be able to easily beat. If the test was to just get past those—this would be easy!

He also noticed Anam standing in the back, watching every Heart get assigned. James was reading from a list, showing it to Anam every time. Every so often, Anam shook his head, and James seemingly skipped that line. How odd. Did Anam have the final say? Once a name was approved, James passed the word to the announcer. Owen’s heart picked up the pace. Did his name just get skipped? Was that it?

Three more Pokémon were called in, and Owen shuffled aside to let them through. He spotted Nevren walking past them; the Alakazam glanced at him and then flashed a small smile. He then spoke quietly to the Pokémon at the front, managing the candidates, and then walked away.

James showed Anam the list again, and this time, he was staring at it for a while. So long that Owen and the others in the group wondered what the holdup was. Anam mumbled something to James, and James mumbled something back. Nevren stepped over and checked who was on the list. He tapped Anam on the shoulder—a trail of slime connected his finger to Anam thereafter—and said something else.

C’mon, body, why can’t you zero in on what they’re saying? Owen complained, but the crowd around him distracted both his ears and whatever other strange sense he had. There was no body language for him to detect from so far away.

And then, finally, Golem spoke again. “Next! Charmander-1!”

Wait. He was called? He was called! He made it into the practical exam! “Y-yes!”

The crowd waited anxiously for two more names to be called.

“Oh, sorry, everyone. Nevren wants to personally test Owen alone,” Golem said, “since he is such an exceptional case with his test results.”

Why did he have to phrase it like that? Owen shrank down. “S-sorry…” He didn’t need to look back to feel the envious glares. “How come I’m exceptional? Oh, because I’m a late-evolver and stuff?”

“Yeah. For a Charmander, at least. You sure you didn’t eat an Everstone or something?”

“No! I’ll evolve soon! So much for being a kid, huh?” Owen remembered this Golem from before. Still, he figured he should stop letting his size dictate his behavior. If he kept getting insecure about his size and stature, maybe he did deserve to be called a kid.

Alakazam Nevren approached, his mustache grand as ever. “Good to see you, Owen. It’s about time that we leave for your test. Please, come with me.”

<><><>​

Eternal Whistler Cave was on the northern peaks, with ancient, black mountains carved by a constant, shredding wind. The cave itself was a structure that went in a winding path from one side of the mountain to the other; the cold air blew through this labyrinthine passageway constantly. The result was a noise of wind running through the cave, like a deep whistle or moan of some great titan.

The easy way through the cave was to follow the wind, which blew from the south toward the north; the difficult way was against it. A very small distortion existed here, leading to a small, junior-level Dungeon that was even less threatening than the one where he had encountered Aerodactyl.

Aside from the atmosphere itself, that is. The ocean was behind them; sheer cliffs threatened to plunge Owen to his death if he took a single misstep. And he had nearly done so quite a few times. He imagined using his Badge as an emergency warp-away would be an automatic failure for this test.

“S-so… c-cold…!” Owen’s teeth chattered, his hot blood becoming an uncomfortable lukewarm beneath his skin.

“Keep it up, Owen! The caves will be quite windy.”

“Y-you don’t s-say?”

Owen wasn’t sure what was more irritating: the fact that he, a Fire Type, was so weak that he was starting to feel cold, or the fact that Nevren was so calm and unflinching against the same weather. Waves crashed on the rocks far below. Owen decided long ago not to look down. If he fell, the descent would last at least ten seconds, at least. He didn’t want to find out what would kill him first—the cold of the water, or the force of the impact.

This wasn’t even on the approved lists of exam Dungeons! The falls were too dangerous! What if he died?

His flame, half its usual size, cried for shelter.

Owen’s bag was securely fastened around his neck, pushed so strongly by the wind that the strap left an imprint on the scales of his chest. If he stayed in this sort of wind any longer, it’d surely fuse into his body completely. He squinted through the gusts and followed Nevren into the cave. As promised, it was even windier than before.

“Oh, come on!” Owen screamed over the wind.

“We’re almost there!” Nevren said cheerfully.

Finally, Nevren made an odd turn into an alcove. There, when Owen entered, the wind became much weaker. It was just a room with a rocky wall, but the tunnel ended abruptly in a dead end.

“Wh—huh?” Owen built up the courage to open his eyes.

“This is an offshoot from the main path,” Nevren said. “The wind has nowhere to continue through. It will be weaker here. An ideal spot to meditate, don’t you think? Before we enter the Dungeon proper.”

“Oh—yeah! Did I mention that I meditate? I must’ve forgotten.” Owen’s body relaxed, his flame finally having some reprieve from the bitter gusts. “It helps me to clear my head. Sometimes I can even get to think up new fighting techniques, y’know?”

Nevren nodded. “I’ll allow you to do that before we have our true Dungeon exploration.”

“Okay, sure!” Owen found a nice spot near the right side of the offshoot and sat down. There, he closed his eyes, trying his best to meditate. Now that the wind wasn’t constantly battering him, the general cold was much more tolerable, the natural heat of his body more than making up for it.

Breathe in, breathe out.

“…Say, Nevren.”

“Hmm?” Nevren was settled on the opposite side of the offshoot.

“You’re a Psychic Type, right? So, does that mean you’re sorta more in tune with the mind?”

“Well, yes, though I would say the stereotype is exaggerated.”

“That’s good, um,” Owen said, but then paused to consider how to phrase it, “because I think I’m crazy. I don’t want to—to make you worried or anything, but sometimes I just get this feeling that I’ve done something before. This stuff, right now? This feels new. But, like, talking to Rhys, and his students, feels like I’m having the same conversation all over again.”

“Ah, how strange,” Nevren said. “But I do not think you are crazy. Perhaps you are excited.”

“Excited,” Owen repeated. “And what about if…” Owen wondered if he should mention the pink mist. “Uh… never mind. I’m probably just sleep-deprived. I was so excited for today that I only slept for, maybe, a blink’s worth of time, y’know?”

“Ah. Well. What better way to freshen the mind than to meditate?”

“Yeah, okay.” The chilled Charmander closed his eyes and steadied his breath. Clear my mind. Just listen to the world, he thought to himself and then attempted to think no longer.

The whistling of the wind was all that filled his head. He was well-versed in this sort of meditation, and he was able to slip into the state very easily, only vaguely aware of the world around him. Owen’s thoughts became deeply inward, envisioning himself standing in a void. His body no longer moved—only his inner body, like his aura, in his thoughts, in this void. He went into a battle stance in this void, blasting plumes of fire in the dark. They became Flamethrowers shortly after. He stomped on the ground, leaving Fire Traps behind. Shadowy creatures, envisioned dummies, chased him to put the traps to use, but Owen defeated them easily. They evaporated in a black fog, much like the ominous shadows that James became.

Owen was surrounded. He blasted the dummies ahead of him with flames, clearing the way, and stomped on the ground for the dummies behind him. Then, he ran ahead. His form grew. It reddened and became taller; his flame became hotter. A horn emerged from the back of his head. The Charmeleon in the void spun around and scorched the dummies. He crouched forward, and his back expanded; the outer layer of his scales and skin split open, forming wings; the single horn split as well, becoming two on either side of the back of his head.

Yes! Oh, the feeling, this was what he wanted, what he always imagined. Charizard! To fly through the sky, scorching his foes below. More, higher, stronger—keep fighting! Don’t let the fire go out! It was a surreal mixture of elation and serenity. A fantasy that calmed his aura. Slowly, his Charizard aura touched the ground, and the flames died down. Calm, calm. Keep it all calm. Burn slowly. Crackle, crackle… The embers turned gold and black.

In the real world, Owen abruptly jumped to his right.

“Ngh—what?”

His body had moved on its own in reaction to something. He looked at where he once was; the rocks were severely warped into oblong shapes by a strange force. He stared ahead and saw Nevren, who was staring back with a blank, emotionless expression.

“A-Alakazam Nevr—”

Nevren’s eyes glowed bright, and Owen knew to dodge again. The rocks behind him twisted in the same way.

“What’re you doing?!”

The rocks kept twisting around him; he had to keep moving. Nevren held his arm forward; electricity crackled from his spoon. This time, it was too fast. A horrible pain rushed through Owen’s body; his legs refused to listen to any command. And then, he felt another pain—a twisting, indirect, dull, but incredible sensation of pressure across his entire body, like a giant hand twisting him into a spiral.

Owen screamed and shook. He could move again. He fell on his knees, coughing; everything hurt. Everything felt broken. He tried to take a breath, but something there wasn’t working.

Nevren stared at Owen. His eyes glowed.

He was going to kill him. Right here, Nevren was trying to kill him. That could be the only explanation. Owen’s mind switched immediately to survival as if he was fighting a hostile outlaw, but there wasn’t much he could do. His body was already broken. He didn’t have time to reach into his bag for any assistance. Was this it? Why? Nevren, what was he doing?

He didn’t even get to evolve.

Owen hallucinated a vision of three red gemstones in front of him. Confusion washed into fear—and then—just as quickly, into something primal. A roar of madness echoed in Owen’s mind.

His vision felt red. The pain vanished. His body moved. It broke more from it, but without pain to stop him, he kept moving.

He dodged the Psychic attack and rushed at Nevren. He jumped—the little Charmander was now at Nevren’s height in the air, in for a full collision. He opened his mouth; his fangs were red-hot, and he was in a direct course for Nevren’s neck, but the Alakazam weaved to the right. Owen spun his head and blasted Nevren’s face with fire. Nevren grunted and Owen landed. He landed oddly on his foot, spraining it or worse, but it didn’t matter. He flung himself toward Nevren again.

Nevren couldn’t dodge this one. Owen wrapped his arms around Nevren, getting as strong a hold as he could; in a split-second, his teeth sank into Nevren’s neck. Owen didn’t hold back. His jaw clenched as hard as it could. He tasted Nevren’s blood. He felt the pressure of him trying to gasp for breath. He crunched harder. Harder. Owen never felt so alive. More. More. He breathed fire into the wound—

Owen opened his eyes with a jolt.

The Charmander was on the ground, legs crossed. He was on the right side of the room. Nevren was still sitting where he had been when he started meditating. The only sound was the wind whistling. The rocks in the alcove were normal and untwisted. His body felt just fine. Relaxed, even, like it usually did after a meditation session.

“Hm?” Nevren asked, perfectly unharmed and unaware. “Is something the matter? You weren’t meditating for long.”

“I… I…” Owen rubbed his head. “I think the altitude is getting to me, Nevren. I don’t think I can meditate here. I’m used to doing it underground, y’know?”

“Ah,” Nevren said. “I see. Well, there’s no use in trying further if the environment isn’t ideal. Why don’t we simply advance through the Dungeon normally?”

Owen stood up, dusting himself off. Just in case, he checked his body for any possible injuries, but there weren’t any.

Maybe he was crazy.

<><><>​

It was easy. The Dungeon was filled with Rock Pokémon like Geodude and Shieldon, yes, but Owen wasn’t afraid of them. He could tell that they were weak. Unlike the Aerodactyl, which was hard to get close to, Owen could easily approach these slow-moving wilds and dispatch them with a single swipe of hardened claws.

This Dungeon was in a rough area in terms of its environment, but the Pokémon themselves were less than formidable. For that, he was thankful—as the wind was still relentless. Nevren had a barrier up ahead of them to ward off most of the atmospheric onslaught.

Within the cave, small pieces of sediment constantly chipped off of the walls, forcing Owen to walk with his eyes partially shut for fear of getting bits of mountain dust in them. Despite the barrier, Owen’s body shivered at every step. It was like walking on frost.

But other thoughts distracted Owen from most of the harsh elements of the cave. He dwelled on the strange dream he had. After his last experience with dreams, he was growing paranoid about what was real and what was a trick of the mind.

“N-Nevren?” Owen asked, nearing the final segment of the Dungeon. “When you meditate, do you get weird dreams?”

“Hm? No, not that I’m aware,” Nevren said. “Is that what happened? You seem quite shaken.”

“Yeah,” Owen said, deciding not to comment that his current shaking was due to the cold. “At first it was normal. I was just fighting in a big, black room, kinda. I mean, not a room, since there weren’t any walls, but that’s how it usually goes. But then, suddenly I felt like…” Owen hesitated, “You were gonna attack me. And you were! I mean, in my dream. And then… and then I think I went crazy. I started to see red, and I stopped feeling pain from all your super strong attacks, um, and then”—Owen considered how truthful to be—“I don’t think I remember what happened after that.”

“Hmm. That’s a very vivid dream.”

“Yeah,” Owen said. “I think I shouldn’t try to do that on high mountains. O-or cold ones.”

“Well, regardless of that,” Nevren said, “I’m quite confident in your abilities. I will be giving you a very positive review to James regarding your performance. I can guarantee your acceptance into the Thousand Hearts.”

“W-wait—really?!”

A sneaky Geodude threw a rock at Owen. The rock shattered on his head and Owen didn’t pay it a single mind.

“Of course!” Nevren said. “This is one of the designated testing Dungeons. If a recruit can pass it without assistance, and shows little signs of struggle, then it means you are ready to be part of the first tier of the Thousand Hearts.”

The same Geodude threw a rock at Nevren. The Alakazam tilted his head and it whistled by, missing completely.

“You may think of yourself as unskilled”—Nevren shook his head—“but in reality, few non-wild Pokémon get this strong or adept at fighting to handle such a task without trouble. Most only train themselves until they can reach the final stage of their species’ evolutions.”

It made sense to Owen. He didn’t know how long he had been training for this moment. He had taken on more moderately difficult Dungeons in preparation for the exams.

The Geodude tossed a rock at Owen again. Owen caught it without looking.

“So, I’ve just been training for so long,” Owen said, “that my normal is most others’ abnormal?”

His claws turned silver from a metallic energy and he crushed the rock. Geodude yelped and seemed to decide Owen wasn’t worth his time.

“Yes, precisely!” Nevren said, chuckling. “You’re quite abnormal indeed, Owen.”

Owen carefully stepped over a small crevice; Nevren had barely noticed it, but Owen’s shorter stature made it a conscious effort to avoid falling in.

“Aw, shucks!” Owen laughed.

A volley of rocks grazed the top of his scaly scalp.

A gutsy Carbink threw a rock at Nevren from behind. A barrier blocked the attack, nullifying it completely.

“These guys are persistent,” Owen said.

“They’re merely territorial,” Nevren said. “Well! Let’s finish this Dungeon. You can wait for the promotion announcements in the evening. Perhaps with your friends? Team Alloy? I quite like that name.”

“Totally.”

It was a formality after all. After so many blurry years of training, Owen finally got into the Thousand Hearts. All that remained was the final ceremony…

<><><>​

After completing the Dungeon and parting ways with Nevren, he spotted Gahi returning from his squad of potential recruits near the Heart headquarters. Owen ran over. “Gahi! How’d it go?”

“Went fine. Gonna go and give my report ter James first, and I’ll be right back, eh?”

“Sure.”

Fast as always, Gahi didn’t take long to head back out.

“So,” Owen said, “how’d those recruits do? The ones you handled?”

“Feh, they ain’t ready.” He clicked his jaws. “Figure yeh passed, though?”

“Nevren said that he was gonna give me a review brighter than my tail, so I hope so!”

“Heh.” Gahi’s eyes glinted with amusement. “Well, ain’t that something. Maybe we can form a team o’ four, go exploring. Three’s a good number that most recommend, but eh, four ain’t beyond us and what a Badge can handle.”

Owen nodded. “Yeah. But I don’t think I’m gonna go to that Dungeon again. I tried to meditate there, and I think I got a low-air dream or something, because…” His attention was caught by a passing conversation.

“ . . . Strange, isn’t it?”

“Creepy, more like!”

“They should’ve investigated.”

“No way! That wasn’t part of the mission!”

Owen cleared his throat. “Um—what was creepy?”

“Y’didn’t hear?” Gahi asked.

“What?”

“One o’ the teams that went out headed ter Calm Water Lake.” Gahi jerked his massive head in the direction of the Waypoint rows. “Around the third section, there was an eerie glow from the walls. A recruit got lost on the path, took a wrong turn, I dunno.”

“A weird glow?” Owen asked, flame growing just slightly in height. “Was the group the one with Rhys?”

Gahi shook his head. “Nope. Rhys handled some other team. They’re gonna send someone in ter investigate. Pro’ly gonna see the mission go up soon.” Gahi glanced at Owen. “Once I grab Demitri ‘n Mispy… Wanna go?”

Was it the same sort of glow? That orb? But Rhys didn’t go with them, so it couldn’t be from his weird, green orb. But there was a cold pit in his stomach when he thought about it. That must have been the thought of going to a watery Dungeon. Still, his curiosity trumped his Type, and he agreed.

Anything to get some clues.

 

[Ambyssin]

As I said, cross-posting this from elsewhere for the game. Ludicolo is the perfect 'mon to run a café. I imagine Miror B's Retro Groove playing in the background... because of course it is. alternatively, Wario de Mucho. Anyway, Owen is incredibly perceptive. I say that because I'm not used to seeing a PMD protagonist that's this good at picking up on subtle shifts in body language like Owen is. I'd almost say it's a bit too good but you've claimed Owen is an adult and he's been a 'mon his whole life, so I guess he's learned a thing or two.

Like before, either I'm getting paranoid in my old age or you do a good job through Owen's vantage of making both Rhys and Nevren seem... less than trustworthy. Especially when the location he goes to doesn't scream "introductory dungeon." It's also a funny name b/c I've skied at Whistler Mountain plenty in the past, so I couldn't stop think about it. That said, I do think you could've done with showcasing the wind effecting the terrain a bit more. Even a mountain would have dust and debris getting blown about that would interfere with Owen's vision. It's not a huge deal, just thought I'd throw that out there. Especially since the description of the dungeon that follows is... bare bones. Like, you don't even mention a single species of Pokémon. You toss out "wilds" and "rock-types" but that's about it. Doesn't give me much to go off of. I mean, Onyx is a very weak rock-type by game stats standards, but it's big and imposing looking. You throw in a Geodude and a Carbink later, but they're not even really considered threats. Just background noise. XP

I will say you got me with that fake-out in the meditation bit. Then again, I'm not a terribly astute reader. But I did believe that Nevren was ambushing Owen and the Eviolite was just a trick to lull him into a false sense of security. So, points for you, I guess? With the somewhat awkward conversation that follows in the dungeon, I get this unusual sense that what we witnessed was one of the memories Owen had erased. And, on top of that, me thinks he's going to find the source of the eerie glow and, if it is an orb like Rhys', that'll be the one he touches and makes all sorts of bad things happen.

Last bit is a nitpick: I think you over did it with Gahi's accent here. Way too many letters swapped out with apostrophes. It wasn't as noticeable in the first three chapters, but in the last scene it was... egregious.

Anyway, nice job. Some closing thoughts to end off:

Owen forced himself to settle down for lunch. He didn’t know if his heart was racing or sluggish. It was a strange mixture of beating quickly, and then slowing down to rhythmic, loud booms.

In my business, we call that A-Fib or V-Fib and I'm pretty sure the nurses would be standing by with the defibrillator.

like a giant hand twisting him like a cork in a bottle.

Having two "likes" here kind of undermines the simile you're going for and makes this awkward. I'd try to avoid this, if I were you.

 

[canisaries]

Now then... Let's get weird.

WEIRD WOOOO i like weird

Ludicolo himself was dancing along the aisles, serving drinks, along with other assistant waiters and waitresses.

Come to think of it, Ludicolo's a great choice for a café keeper. That hat's a built in tray.

James showed Anam the list again, and this time, he was staring at it for a long time. So long, in fact, that Owen and the others in the group wondered what the holdup was. Anam mumbled something to James, and James mumbled something back. Nevren stepped over and checked who was on the list. He tapped Anam on the shoulder—a trail of slime connected his finger to Anam thereafter—and said something else.

Hmm. Really makes you think just how wide this conspiracy Owen's parents are involved in is spread...

“W-wait—really?!” Owen asked; a sneaky Geodude threw a rock at Owen, hitting him in the back.

A gutsy Carbink threw a rock at Nevren from behind; a barrier blocked the attack, nullifying it completely.

I'm not at all an expert in semicolon usage as I just straight up never do it, but these confuse me even within the little I know. These semicolons don't seem to have any purpose. They could be replaced with periods and nothing would change except the fact that I wouldn't be asking this question.

General Comments

I liked the evolution sequence, and the Nevren fight caught me off guard as I imagine was intended. I just hope the explanation behind these events won't be too complicated, as I'm kind of at my limits of keeping up with all the different unexplained phenomena so far. We have the mutants, Owen feeling like he's done things before, Owen being a late evolver, Rhys' glowy thingy, the pink cloud at Rhys' house and now an evolution/fight illusion and a glowy wall in a dungeon. I feel like I'm forgetting a few more, even. It may well all make sense later on, but I fear I'm not even gonna remember half the stuff by then.

Hm, this turned out more commentary-like than a review... I guess that's bound to happen for a chapterly replier. Still wish I had more to say, though.

 

[RocketKnight66]

Hello! I'm finally starting to branch out and take a look at more of the fics here. I love PMD, so I definitely wanted to check this one out. I've read the prologue and first chapter, and I'm enjoying this story so far!

Right off the bat, there's a air of mystery to everything going on. I (and Owen too it seems) believed that beginning sequence was a dream, but some of the dialogue near the end of the prologue made me question that a little bit. Along with Owen getting all these strange feelings of deja vu, like with when he met Dimitri, Gahi, and Mispy. And then there are those mentions of Rhys as well. He sounds like he's pretty important, but because of "I wish Rhys was still here," I have to wonder if something has happened to him. I'm finding myself asking a lot of questions already and it's quite interesting.

Speaking of Owen, I like him a lot. He's a pretty fun character, and he seems to be a pretty great fighter, to boot. I noticed he seems very insecure about the fact that he's still stuck as a Charmander, what with him trying to correct anyone that calls him "kid." It's perfectly understandable, feeling like he hasn't evolved because he's doing something wrong. It's also pretty interesting to see a PMD protagonist that's not the classic human turned Pokémon type of deal. I like that kind of unique spin on it.

I really liked the prose for the most part, and I definitely found a few bits amusing. However, some of the descriptions are a bit vague, the town with some of the buildings like the store and the restaurant and the wild Pokémon just being called, well, wild Pokémon instead of a specific species come to mind. I had a hard time picturing those parts in my head.

The pacing is fast for sure... Owen's already in the first dungeon on Chapter 1, and he's had a run-in with one of those mutated Pokémon (which is something pretty interesting in and of itself), and then he encounters an outlaw on top of that. The stakes are high right away, and I'm curious to see where it goes from here.

One last note, I do believe I caught a typo.

“I just a late evolver!”

I'm guessing you meant "I'm just a late evolver!"

 

[Namohysip]

So many reviews! I love it. I replied to canisaries and Amby elsewhere, but as for you, RocketKnight66...

Hello! I'm finally starting to branch out and take a look at more of the fics here. I love PMD,

Say no more, I love you already.

It's also pretty interesting to see a PMD protagonist that's not the classic human turned Pokémon type of deal. I like that kind of unique spin on it.

It's kinda funny, but I didn't think that would be a unique take on it. I thought I was just going with what folks did when making up original stories! But you know, I think either way works well. It's just that, in the case of my story, there's already enough mystery regarding poor Owen, adding an amnesiac human-turned-pokemon into the mix would've just made things way too crazy, way too fast. Owen has enough problems!

However, some of the descriptions are a bit vague,

Ahh, my weakness. I've already added descriptions to what you read, so the older draft was even less descriptive! For future chapters, I'll absolutely keep in mind the descriptions of new areas (and some reminder-descriptions of revisited areas) to keep that imagery in mind.

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it.

 

[Namohysip]

Chapter 5 – Mystic Glow​

Watery Dungeons simultaneously fascinated and unnerved Owen. Due to his nature, they would be the last sort of Dungeon he’d want to explore. Not only would getting his tail doused be the most excruciating pain imaginable—aside from being impaled, he supposed—the terrain also made his Fire Traps useless. Calm Water Lake was no exception.

The lake—a clear, blue expanse surrounded by yellow-green grass—disappeared the moment they passed through the distortion’s bubble-like ripple. Blue, rocky walls made from amalgamated sand took its place, rough and perpetually damp to the touch. The ground was covered in a thin layer of water that went just past Owen’s tiny ankles.

This was a challenge for Gahi, who was even lower to the ground. He constantly tilted his massive, orange head upward to prevent his lower jaw from dipping underwater.

“Calm Water Lake is kinda boring.” Owen had his hands behind his head, staring at the wispy clouds. “Hey, do we have any warps left?”

“I do,” Demitri said. “Mispy used her Badge to get our group back, but mine still has a charge left for the day. Once we’re done exploring this Dungeon, we’ll head back to Kilo.”

“Yeah. I hope it goes by soon,” Owen said. “I’m sick of walking through water. Nothing’s happening.” He had been hoping to find a mysterious, pink mist to lead the way. Nothing of the sort was around.

“I mean, it’s called Calm Water Lake,” Demitri said. “Isn’t that kinda what you’d expect? Even its title is boring.”

“All of the Pokémon are asleep. They won’t even bother with you unless you aggravate them first. Where’s the fun in that?”

He shook his head. That was his Battleheart talking. That kind of comment would get weird looks from people… Half-feral, they’d say.

“I know what y’mean,” Gahi said. “I don’t wanna go ter this place either, ‘cause the ferals’re all weak.”

Demitri nervously punched his fists together. “All this teaching hasn’t given me a good fight the whole day.”

Mispy sighed deeply. Her leaf bobbed and brushed against Demitri’s tusk.

“You guys like to battle a bunch, too, huh?” It was rare for civilian Pokémon to fight the way he liked to.

Some Pokémon went their entire lives not evolving because their auras never became strong enough to trigger it. Most only trained enough to evolve and stopped after that.

That was just another layer of kinship he felt with these three. Fellow Battlehearts!

“I know what that’s like,” Owen continued. “If I don’t get a good fight in for the day, I can’t sleep at night. I’m all restless! And I need to fight something! My parents gave me a rock that I can beat up if I ever get like that. But if that isn’t enough, I need to meditate and stuff.”

“Baah.” Gahi shook his head. “Don’t even say the word. I hate when Rhys makes us do that.”

“It calms the mind, though.” Demitri rubbed his tusks, finding a little nick to scrape dirt off. “And we know it makes our attacks more efficient, so it isn’t all bad!”

“Tune the aura,” Mispy said.

“Ha, it’s like we get the same lectures!” Owen said. “I wonder if my parents and Rhys went to the same classes.”

“Feh, wouldn’t doubt it.” Gahi fell into a dip in the watery ground, struggling and gurgling.

Mispy shoved her vine into the gravel and a great platform of foliage pushed Gahi out of the puddle.

“Bah, stupid water… Say, how come we never saw yer parents, anyway? Figure they’d’ve supported you fer the Ceremony, at least.”

“I think they’re busy at home,” Owen said dismissively, though his tail dimmed. He held up a flame from his finger and flicked it Gahi’s way, the little mote drying him while they walked. “My parents have been hesitant about going out lately. I’m not sure why. I hope they aren’t afraid of the light or something.”

An entire segment of the Dungeon passed in complete silence. It didn’t feel awkward to Owen. It was serene. For perhaps the first time all day, his heart was at ease, traveling with these three like old friends. Without realizing it, a dumb, subtle smile grew on Owen’s face.

“Y’know, that thing y’mentioned,” Gahi suddenly said. “About us seeming familiar? I’m starting ter feel it, too.”

“Huh?”

Demitri tapped his claws against his scales. “Yeah, I’m with Gahi.”

“Mm.” Mispy nodded.

Owen stared. “Yeah… it’s weird. But I don’t know why, either. You guys?”

They all shook their head.

“I decided that I should just stop dwelling on it. Maybe we’ll figure it out later. Oh, right. Are we at…?” He pulled the mission statement from his bag, and then at his surroundings. They said section three.

“This way,” Mispy said, suddenly turning. She walked with purpose, but it didn’t appear to be in a meaningful direction.

“How come?” Owen ran after her.

“Mispy can see auras, too, just like Rhys,” Gahi said. “That’s why she thinks ghosts are everywhere. I think her senses are just outta whack.”

Mispy puffed her cheeks; a vine threatened to bludgeon Gahi, but she restrained herself and pulled back.

“A Chikorita? How?” Owen asked. “Does she secretly have aura sensors, too?” Owen knew that Gahi was fast for his species, too. Demitri was an Axew, and they were historically strong… but those strikes he dealt to Aerodactyl were something else. Did Rhys recruit them because they were talented?

“I dunno. Maybe it’s in her leaf,” Demitri said. “It’s cool. I don’t know how it works. But it’s helped us a lot when we chase down clever outlaws. And now, uh, Mispy? What d’you see?”

“Weird,” Mispy mumbled.

“She sees a weird aura,” Demitri translated. “I guess it’s a good lead for—oh. Uh, Mispy? I don’t think we need an aura sensor for the rest of this.”

To their right was an easily breakable wall. A dim light shined from the inside, going through the tiny cracks that made this part of the wall more obvious.

Owen nodded, readying his claws. “Just give me a second to reset my aura for Metal Cl—”

Demitri slammed his head on the wall; it easily collapsed, falling around him.

“Demitri!” Owen cried

“I’m okay!” Demitri called back, climbing out of the rocks; he had a few scratches—as well as a worrying trail of blood on his head—but he was conscious.

“Don’t do that!” Owen shouted.

Mispy was already healing him with waves of light. She didn’t look alarmed in the slightest.

“Next time, let me do it! Metal Claw would’ve done the same thing.”

“Feh, he’s an idiot.” Gahi wobbled ahead of them and over the rubble.

They all looked inside. The cavern beyond the false wall glowed dimly; it reminded Owen of the mushrooms in Hot Spot Cave. And, of course, the orb that Rhys possessed. The Charmander, with his tail, took the lead. The passageway was only a few paces wide—and those were tiny paces, considering the size of their bodies. Every sound echoed endlessly.

Not more than twenty paces in, Gahi remarked, “This place is giving me the creeps. Think Ghosts’re wandering around?”

Demitri shuddered. “H-hopefully not.” He looked at the walls uneasily. Mispy wrapped a vine around his torso, squeezing him. He loosened in response. “I don’t think so, but this weird glow is what I’m kinda worried about. It’s the same as the glow in Rhys’ place, y’know, that weird orb?”

“Yeah,” Owen said. “You mean that thing he brought with him to the ceremony, right?”

“Yeah, that one,” Demitri said. “Think it’s related?”

“Maybe,” Owen said, “but a lot of things glow. There are these mushrooms in my home, um, I can’t say where, but at my home, they glow kinda like this. So, it could just be, like, moss, or a tiny fungus or mold that grows on the rocks.” Owen wanted to believe it was related, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. The past few days have been filled with confusing disappointments.

Go back… go back!

Turn away… leave!

All four explorers stopped walking. Demitri’s knees knocked against one another. Gahi churred a rapid, growling noise. The little buds on Mispy’s neck started to glow.

Mispy closed her eyes. “I see… something.”

Owen noticed a pulsing light in the bottom corner of his eye. It came from his bag. “Uh, why is my Badge blinking?”

“What?” Demitri checked his; it, too, was blinking. “Oh, that’s… that means we just exited a Dungeon.”

“What?”

“We aren’t in a Dungeon anymore,” Demitri said. “This cave ahead of us isn’t part of Calm Water Lake’s Dungeon. Which means—” He glanced around uneasily. “—if we get hurt here, or worse, we won’t be warped out. They might just keep attacking us, or…!”

Owen gulped. “M-maybe we should go back.”

“What, and miss a real fight?” Gahi asked, stomping his tiny foot on the ground. “Let’s feel it out!”

“I do want a fight,” Demitri mumbled, unconsciously sharpening his left tusk with his claws. “But this could be dangerous.”

“Mmn.” Mispy seemed unsure, but she advanced. The others followed her lead.

Leave, leave!

Or become one of us!

Demitri let out a squeaking noise that defied his Dragon pride. Mispy had to prod him on the back to keep him walking.

“Okay, enough whispering!” Gahi said. “Just show yerself and get it over with!”

Surprisingly, they complied. Ahead of them, right where the glowing cave had a turn to the right, a creature rose from the ground. Houndour. But the colors were odd—instead of the usual orange-red on black, it was ocean-blue on black.

“Heh, Houndour, eh?” Gahi said, wobbling forward. “Y’look weird, but I’ll take yeh on!”

Owen’s fire grew. “Uh, Gahi, I dunno if—”

Gahi dashed in an orange blur, wiggling his head and jaws; mud formed in the back of his throat, ready to fling. The Houndour opened its mouth and fired a concentrated jet of—water directly at Gahi. The Trapinch chittered in surprise and jumped out of the way, hitting the wall next to him. While successful in avoiding the water, he sustained a small blow to his side from the rocks.

Gahi threw some of his mud at the Houndour; Mispy, whose buds were glowing bright, fired an intense beam at the Houndour next.

“Wait! Mispy!” Demitri said, but it was too late.

The Houndour was completely incinerated; in its place was a small ember that floated in the air. It vaguely resembled Owen’s tail flame, only cyan like Rhys’ aura energy. It fled into the wall.

“Mispy, that’s too much!” Demitri said. “You just obliterated some poor—”

“It’s a ghost,” Mispy said.

“What?”

Whispers filled the air. It was impossible to tell where it was coming from, or how many were even whispering. Multiple. That’s all they knew. And, perhaps, from everywhere.

“Why is there a Water Houndoom here? How does that even work? A gh-ghost that’s a Water Houndoom?” Owen squeaked the last part, taking a worried step back. He bumped into Demitri, who was practically a statue. Hauntings weren’t actually real, right? Sure, he’d suspected it before, but…

Three blue-themed Pokémon—even if they weren’t supposed to be blue—rose from the ground. A Nincada, Morelull, and Venipede, rippling like a lake. They all advanced, Watery techniques ready. Owen, realizing that there was too much risk involved, with perhaps tens or more others like them ready to close in, shouted to the others, “Let’s go back!”

This time, they agreed. Demitri grabbed their Badge and held it in the air; thankfully, now that they were outside of the strange effects of a Dungeon, they could use it to warp back to Kilo Village without the Dungeon interfering. Still, it needed a few seconds to gather its charge. The ghosts fired another set of water jets at them—Owen countered with a plume of fire, hoping to soften the blasts. Mispy shot her vines forward and blocked the rest. That bought them just enough time. In a flash of light, they were gone.

<><><>​

They wanted to tell Rhys about what they found before reporting back, but they also realized upon returning that it was close to the evening. Clouds painted the orange sky with lumpy, purple blotches.

“Oh, Mew, we almost didn’t make it!” Demitri said. “Look! That crowd!”

“Wait, so do we report first, or—”

“No time!” Demitri took heavy steps forward, his speed betraying his mental fatigue. “C’mon, Owen! You go ahead to the front! You’re probably gonna get accepted!”

The ceremony was a rush and then a wait. Owen took the long way around when the immediate path required traversing around a Muk, and instead settled for weaving between the legs of an antsy Rapidash mother waiting for her son’s results. He scrambled between Pokémon tall and small, apologizing to each one, until he spotted a Decidueye.

“There you are,” James said, green-and-brown feathers puffed out. Under his glare, Owen shrank to nearly three-quarters of his height. “I imagine you just became aware of the results. Stand there, please.”

Owen stood at the front row, to the far right, with his eyes fixed on the ground. After gathering enough courage, he leaned forward and counted off the Pokémon to his left. There were fifteen others here, but more importantly, they were all candidates that were practically beaming. He really did make it in! After countless applications—Owen couldn’t even remember how many times he’d tried—he was here, standing in the front row!

“Ahem,” James began, “Goodra Anam is currently occupied with… processing the Hearts’ retirement. In his place, I would like to make official the advancement of these sixteen Provisionary Hearts into the fold of Entry-Level Hearts. To commemorate this, they will relinquish their Provisionary Badges, and in return be given their official Thousand Hearts Badge. I shall begin from the leftmost member.” James walked away from Owen. His tail lowered at the realization that he was the last to arrive. Talk about a first impression.

Owen took the wait as an opportunity to size up the other fifteen members. Nervous shuffling, eyes filled with more ambition than their bodies could handle. They were all weaker than him but just as full of potential. He could feel it. What was he doing, taking so long to just enter, if he was already breezing past the easiest Dungeons? Owen refused to accept anything but the idea that it was a mistake—an oversight.

The gravity of the ceremony hit him just then. He was going to do it! Become a Heart! One by one, each new Heart got their Badge. Once James got to him…

“Waaaaaiiiiit!”

All eyes turned to the main building. Anam was running out as fast as he could. A trail of purplish, transparent slime littered the ground behind him.

“Am I late?!”

“Yes,” James replied. “I have already started the ceremony. There is only one left.”

“Who? I’ll—I’ll do that one!” He sniffled. “I’m sorry, Jam-Jam! I didn’t mean to, but I was just so sad! So many good Hearts!”

James sighed, shaking his head, while the audience gave amused smiles. “Very well,” Jam-Jam said, holding out the final badge. “I can’t be angry at you, Anam. Please, give Owen his Badge.”

“Owen? Oh, right, Owen! Of course! I’m so happy Owen could get in this time!”

James’ glare was so intense that, for a second, Owen thought Anam’s slime bubbled.

Owen’s heart skipped a beat, and his flame flashed white for an instant. He was about to be given his Badge by Anam himself.

The others in line noticed, too. They all stared at Owen with mixtures of surprise, confusion, and envy. What’s this upstart doing here? That was probably what they were thinking. He was the only first-stager among them. Or maybe they were irritated that lateness was suddenly being rewarded.

Goodra sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Owen—I mean, Charmander Owen, I give you this Badge in commemoration of your advancement into the Thousand Hearts.” He handed Owen the lightweight, golden emblem. It was covered in slime; Owen politely took it and, when Anam turned away, wiped it with the cloth of his bag. He then admired the clean, heart-shaped insignia on the front, using his tail to illuminate the shining details.

“And now,” James concluded, “we must accept you into the Thousand Hearts more formally. I’m sure you all remember the motto?”

Owen’s flame doubled its size. “Yes!” A few of the newcomers gave him an amused smile, but they nodded, too. Suddenly, the atmosphere felt charged.

“Then by my lead.” James looked ahead. With him, the Entry Hearts—and even the many behind him—recited the Thousand Hearts’ mantra. At first, it was a gentle chant, but the final lines transitioned into a rallying cry.

“A thousand hands
A single heart
Working and beating as one.

Unite the lands
From worlds apart
Until our battles are done.

We serve Kilo and all its parts
Under one name: The Thousand Hearts!”

Stomps, roars, and cheers deafened Owen, but he didn’t care—his flame was now three times its normal size and his chest felt just as swollen with pride. He screamed with them, straining his throat, blasting little embers into the air. Losing all sense of self, Owen hopped from foot to foot, pumping his tiny fist in the air.

After some time, the crowd calmed down, and James raised his wing to signal for them all to fall into silence. There was a little, happy gleam in his eye, but that was all he showed. “This concludes the ceremony of advancement. You are all dismissed.”

His heart was still racing, but on his way down, even with the immovable grin on his face, the pressing issue of what they found in the lake returned to the forefront of his mind. After backtracking through the evening crowd, he spotted the silhouette of Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi in the twilight.

Demitri had a similar smile. “Okay, I can’t deny that yelling that last part is something I never get tired of.”

“I know, right?!” Owen said, beaming. “Oh! But—where’s Rhys? We should talk to him about what we found first, right? And then we can report it later. Then, I’m gonna go back to my parents’ place and tell them about what happened.” He glanced at the Waypoint lines and saw a Torkoal enter Calm Water Lake. “Uh—"

“There.” Mispy pointed her leaf forward. Rhys was walking toward them from the main building.

“Where have you been?” Rhys asked. His voice sounded suspiciously strained. He cleared his throat to get it to sound normal again, but it was no help. “The entire ceremony was nearly delayed to find Owen.”

“We were doing a quick mission,” Gahi said. “How ‘bout we talk about it over dinner? I’m starved. Owen’s coming with!”

Owen’s stomach growled loudly at the mention of food. Rhys, with a conflicted frown, conceded.

<><><>​

Dinner was a savory rice dish, fried and mixed with vegetables, mushrooms, and a savory sauce. While the food was wonderful, mealtime itself felt tense. Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi seemed antsy from not getting a good fight in—and, after getting one, being forced to flee.

Rhys—his voice recovered—finally broke the silence. “Well, now that you’re here, why don’t you speak about that mission of yours? Did it not go well?”

“No,” Gahi mumbled. “Hated it. Nearly got killed.”

“K-killed?”

Demitri nodded, poking at a stray grain of rice. “We were attacked when we were investigating a glow at Calm Water Lake. But that led us outside the Dungeon early, somehow, even though we were still in the middle of it. We got attacked by a weird… water-typed Houndour, or something.”

Rhys scanned the four of them as if expecting them to say it was a joke. When none came, he said, “I see.”

Silence accompanied the five while they ate.

“That’s it?” Gahi asked. “Y’usually have something ter say ‘bout us being reckless, or maybe some theory on why it’s like that.”

“I do? Well. I don’t this time. I’ll speak to Goodra Anam about it tomorrow.”

Owen looked at the others expectantly. He wanted to ask about the orb again, but after that encounter in the lake, he was too jittery to do it alone. He’d stumble over his words. And what was he going to do? Sneak into Rhys’ room and steal it? That’d just make him an outlaw! There was no point. He could ask politely when there was less tension. He didn’t see that pink cloud this time, anyway.

“Um. Well, if that’s all, when I finish dinner, I think I’ll just head home,” he said. “Thanks, by the way! I-it’s really good.”

“No,” Rhys said. “Just for tonight, I want you to stay here. I will explain to your parents about it later.”

The Charmander reflexively nodded, but then the words registered. Owen felt even more trapped than when they were in that glowing cave. “Y-you? But I can’t, um, they don’t know.” Owen looked like he was going to stand up. “They’ll freak out if I don’t get home by nighttime, and it’s almost that already! So, um, I just… I can’t just stay here without telling them.”

“They will understand.”

“Rhys, yer being weird,” Gahi said. “What’s going on?”

“It’s too dangerous to go out,” Rhys said flatly. “The path to your home, Owen, is dangerous tonight. It will be safer tomorrow. Not tonight.”

“B-but—” Owen couldn’t ignore that serious aura Rhys had. Would leaving, now, be that dangerous? Or was it bad for some other reason? He didn’t sense any malice from Rhys, but to suddenly make such a request…

“This is final,” Rhys said. “I’m sure they will just think you need to do overnight training and orientation.”

Owen looked at Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi, but they were equally confused. Rhys wasn’t explaining anything. But, in the back of his mind, Owen trusted what he was saying. He didn’t know why he trusted Rhys, but his gut feelings hadn’t been wrong before. If Rhys said it was dangerous, then it was. “Okay. But can you explain why it’s so dangerous?”

Rhys looked at his rice and ate. The others ate, too, in a silence so thick that Owen felt he was eating some of it with each bite.

“We are all going to need to be careful for a time,” Rhys said. “There may be Pokémon in search of objects like the one in my room. Anything that gives off that glow may be a target, and I don’t want to risk anything right now. Owen, I’m afraid you are also a target.”

Owen thought about Hot Spot Cave.

Demitri swallowed his most recent bite quickly. “S-so, Calm Water Lake might have another of those orb things?”

“Possibly. But we can’t do anything about it today.” Rhys motioned to the black sky outside the cave, a chilling wind knocking a few ripened Oran Berries from the treetops. “We can explore this further tomorrow after I see Goodra Anam. He may be able to help.”

Owen sighed, figuring that was the most they were going to get.

“You will stay in Gahi’s room,” Rhys said. “Demitri and Mispy share a room. We have an extra bed in storage.”

“Oh! That’s convenient.”

“Yeah, I kinda always wondered why we had that,” Gahi said. “Ain’t like we get guests.”

Owen finished his meal; despite the tension, he was satisfied with even the leftover grains of rice and veggies. “Aah, that was good.” He rubbed at an imperfection in his scales. “I, er, I guess I’ll get familiar with—oh! I don’t think I can sleep in your bed, though.” Owen tittered. “See, my tail flame kinda burns most beds. I know Charmander fire isn’t usually that hot when we’re calm, but I get worked up when I sleep, or something, so…”

“There’s no need to worry,” Rhys said. “They’re made from Rawst leaves, so they are flame-resistant.”

“Oh.” Owen nodded. “That’s…”

He fiddled with his claws. At this point, he was sick of inquiring.

Rhys set up the spare bed; Gahi led the way down the hall, past the first pair of rooms, and into the left of the second set.

“Here’s m’place,” Gahi said.

It didn’t look different from the others; a simple, rocky room with two nests in the middle. Well, one wasn’t a bed so much as a… sandy pit in the ground. Owen ran his hand across the other nest of Rawst leaves. It was familiar, and that made him uncomfortable.

He forced enthusiasm and happily hopped on his bed. “I hope my tail doesn’t bother you at night.”

“Nah, I don’t think I’ll notice.” He shook his entire body, vibrating into the sandy pit, and he was gone.

“Oh.” He wasn’t sure what he had expected. He wondered if Gahi would chomp on anything he dropped inside…

Every so often, Owen heard the muffled clicks of Gahi’s massive jaws. He sighed, closing his eyes. Something about that sound relaxed him, but it also kept him up for a while longer than he was used to. Every so often, Gahi’s sleep-churring startled him awake.

<><><>​

Owen was half asleep, somewhere between dream and reality. Something ethereal reached out.

Owen. Owen? Owen! Hello?!

That’s a pretty voice…

Owen! Wake up!

Five more blinks…

Ugh, stupid, flaming scale-bag—wake up! HURRY!

It felt too real and too normal. Too groggy. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, squinting outside their room. Something was glowing. That same, strange glow. But it wasn’t like that last time. The old glow was softer and constant. This one was wider; it spilled into Gahi’s room. Owen blinked again; the light was getting brighter. Owen hid his tail under the leaves to make sure it wasn’t him. Without the flame, it was clear as day—that light was moving. Was it the cloud again?

So, this is my night, huh? Owen thought.

The blur from his eyes faded. He spotted something in the corner of his eye. He immediately turned, his heart skipping a beat. The mist. It was right there, like a trick of the eye—just barely visible. Owen thought it was just a splotch on his pupil. It didn’t say anything, but it was very anxiously moving toward the hall, then back to Owen, and then back to the hall again.

Why me? Owen thought. He slowly got out of bed and wrapped some leaves around his flame. Still holding his tail, he stepped outside. The source of the light was a Pokémon floating in the air. A small one—an Espurr. Floating. High in the air.

She didn’t notice Owen; she was facing into Rhys’ room, moving inside.

Trespasser! He was a Heart now!

“Um—hey!” Against common sense, Owen shouted. “S-stop!”

His legs moved on their own until he was at the entrance to Rhys’ home. There, the Espurr drifted toward the orb—she was about to touch it. “Y-you aren’t supposed to—!” He saw that Rhys was still asleep. The pink mist followed. It pushed futilely against the Espurr, defending the orb to no effect.

Then, the Espurr and Charmander locked eyes. He couldn’t get a read for her expression, but she didn’t maintain eye contact for long. He only knew that her eyes shined more than anything else. The atmosphere around him changed—he recognized this feeling. It was an incoming Psychic attack, just like Nevren. He jumped out of the way just in time to evade the twisting energy that chopped the wind behind where he had been. The power behind it was incredible—yet Owen had a sinking feeling she could do a lot more.

The Espurr readied another strike, but a ball of bright, blue energy hit her on the side instead. She yelped and fumbled in the air. Rhys was awake, sitting up in his bed of leaves; he stared directly at the Espurr, who squeaked even louder at the glare. And then, she vanished in thin air—as if she wasn’t there to begin with.

“Wh-what… what?” Owen breathed.

Rhys stood up. The silence that followed—with Rhys staring at the pink mist, and then at Owen, and then at the orb—was long enough for Owen to absorb what had just happened. Some Espurr with the same sort of glow as the orb tried to steal it, or something.

“You should get to sleep, Owen.”

“Wait, but what—”

“Sleep.” Rhys held his right paw in Owen’s direction. It glowed an eerie white. Rhys fired, and Owen felt a hot buzz course through him. His vision concentrated into a tunnel and then faded to black. Owen’s consciousness quickly followed.

So. You’re asleep again.

Hello, pretty voice…

Owen. Listen. This is super, ultra-important. The orb. Touch. ASAP.

But Rhys said…

And sometimes, Rhys is an idiot. We’re running out of options and time. Just touch it, okay?

I’m so tired…

S-stay with me, Owen. There are lots of bad ‘mon out there trying to get those things, and the more we . . .

The rest was lost.

 

[canisaries]

“Calm Water Lake is kinda boring,”

Well with a riveting name like that, what would you expe-

“I mean, it’s called Calm Water Lake,” Demitri said. “Isn’t that kinda what you’d expect? Even its title is boring.”

O.O

Not only would getting his tail doused be perhaps the most excruciating pain imaginable, aside from being impaled, the terrain also made his Fire Traps useless.

I know dashes were used right in the following paragraph, but I think this sentence could use them too, instead of those commas. I just feel like they'd make it a bit easier to read.

“A Chikorita? How?” Owen asked. “Does she secretly have aura sensors, too?”

“I dunno. Maybe it’s in her leaf,” Demitri said. “It’s pretty cool. I don’t know how it works. But it’s helped us a lot when we have to chase down clever outlaws. And now, uh, Mispy? What d’you see?”

Hmm, a Chikorita with aura powers, water-type ghosts, that one body horror thing you mentioned for Owen in a chat once... mayhaps there be a theme here... *thinking emoji*

There was a wall ahead, to their right, that looked like it was easy to break. A dim light shined from the inside, going through the tiny cracks that made this part of the wall more obvious.

guys! you need to use a bomb on it!

Surprisingly, they complied. Ahead of them, right where the glowing cave had a turn to the right, a creature rose from the ground. It had pointed ears and a body that was mostly black, with white bands around the wrists of its paws. Houndour. But the colors were a bit odd—instead of the usual orange-red on black, it was ocean-blue on black.

Oh gods, it's a sparkledog OC! Run! i'm allowed to make this joke because i used to have a sparkledog OC with those colors too

Clouds painted the orange canvas with lumpy, purple blotches.

This is a really nice line.

Silence while they ate.

I think this sentence is missing a verb?

“Oh! Oh, wow!” Owen nodded. “That’s kinda… really convenient, but I guess I’ll take it!” He fiddled with his claws. At this point, he was sick of inquiring.

*THINKING EMOJI INTENSIFIES*

“Here’s m’place,” Gahi said.

You already know what I'm gonna say.

*tips fedora*

Owen. Owen? Owen! Hello?!

That’s a pretty voice…

Hmm, well, you need to make sure you only write one line per speaker in this format, then. Otherwise it's gonna get very hard to follow. This here right now isn't the easiest, either, but it's not like I have a better idea on how to show speaker changing in these.

I'm beginning to really like Mispy. She's quiet, but not mute or too scared to react. She feels like a real "quiet person" rather than just a trope.

Not much smart stuff from me this time, I'm afraid. My brain is totally blanking out. Well, see you later.

 

[Ambyssin]

Bringing this over for the game, you lucky ducky. Dungeon banter is fine and everything... except for that one part about Owen itching for a fight. Like, I understand that pokémon battle, but in a world without trainers, I do think that you need to have an explanation for why it happens other than "I get antsy if I don't get in a fight." So, uh, I hope you have a reasonable explanation for that coming eventually. I'm sure not everyone's bothered by it, but I always need to point it out when I see it. Likewise, that the only weird blue 'mon that gets described in full detail is Houndour... while the rest are just named. And then Espurr is described later. That goes back to that inconsistency thing I mentioned earlier. If Owen can recognize Houndours you only need to draw attention to the fact that it's blue. It'd save you some lines of text, to boot.

Too bad that little ambush didn't last long enough for me to get much of an impression as to what was going on with all the spoopy blueness. My best guess is this mysterious orb is, like, a Water Orb that embues the environment around it with the essence of water or something. And it effected all the spirits in turn. Something like that. It doesn't help how hush-hush everything is afterwards, from Anam to Rhys. If you wanted to sell me on the world have a conspiracy of sorts, then you're doing a good job with it. One question that came to mind with this, though, is why Owen's parents wouldn't be there for the testing and (if he passed, which he did) ceremony. I know they were against him trying to join, but you'd think that, if they were trying to keep up the facade that everything's fine, they'd show up and be supportive. Kinda wish we had an in-universe explanation for why they're so MIA, especially with Rhys keeping Owen from returning home.

Welp, looks like my original thought about him getting hold of Rhys' orb is true and Rhys, buddy, you're not doing yourself any favors casting Sleep on Owen like that. Perhaps he is good and just going to drastic measures to defend this orb thingy. It sounds more like he's got a problem with not knowing the full extent of this crazy thing he's protecting. Also, the orb's voice doesn't leave a lot of room for confidence. Usually you expect your spiritual guides to have a measure of professionalism in the way they carry themselves. Clearly not the case here, lol!

And now, to end off, some snark...

aside from being impaled

Not even being subtle about it, I see. :V

“Calm Water Lake is kinda boring,” Owen said.

"I'm sorry, Owen. Tomorrow, we can go to 'Slightly Unnerving Water Lake' or 'Deeply Unsettling Water Lake' if you want!"
Also, like, wow is that an incredibly lame dungeon name. Someone ought to fire the Association's namer person. Don't they realize how redundant "Water Lake" is? I sure hope there are Lava Lake, Sand Lake, and Jell-O Lake dungeons to make up for this travesty.

“Oh.” Owen wasn’t sure what he had expected.

Owen did a meme, I see.

 

[Namohysip]

Chapter 6 – The Orb​

“Ugh, what a weird dream,” Owen mumbled. He rubbed his eyes; he still ached. He must have jumped improperly to avoid that Psychic attack and bruised himself.

Wait. If he ached, then that wasn’t a dream, was it?

Owen chanted to himself, “Not crazy. Not crazy. Not crazy.”

“Eh?” Gahi said, peeking out from his sand pit. “What’re yeh mumblin’?”

“N-nothing,” Owen said. “I think I just had a weird dream. That’s all.”

“Well, have ‘em some other night,” Gahi said. The Trapinch clicked his jaws. “…I don’t smell breakfast.”

“Does Rhys usually make it? Wait, you can smell? Where’s your nose?”

“How should I know?”

Owen squinted. “…Let’s just check the kitchen.”

The kitchen had food on the table—a simple fruit salad, cold and not as easy to smell—and a note from Rhys saying that he had gone to speak with Anam, and to stay at home until he returned.

“Wait!” Owen said. “That’s right! There was an Espurr that was trying to take the orb last night! I remember!”

“Eh?”

“What’s going on?” Demitri rubbed his eyes as he wobbled out of his room with Mispy. For some reason, he seemed sore. “Are you talking about last night? I think I had a dream of Rhys whisper-yelling. He sounded angry.”

Owen nodded incessantly. “Last night, while you guys were asleep, I think I woke up and saw a weird Pokémon enter Rhys’ room. She tried to, like, get the glowing orb while Rhys was asleep!”

“Did she?”

“No, but she nearly twisted me to shreds with a crazy-strong Psychic attack. I think it was even stronger than Nevren’s!”

“How d’you know how strong Nevren’s is?”

“Oh, um—” Owen rubbed the back of his head. “Uhh… I read about it?”

“Wait, hang on,” Demitri said. “An Espurr? That isn’t even fully evolved. Why is it so strong?”

“The weird thing about that is that she kinda glowed, too. The same way the orb did, and the cave did.” And the mushrooms did…

A sudden silence filled the kitchen. Realization washed over them.

“He left the orb alone!” Owen said. “Right? Did he?”

Forgetting about breakfast, the quartet rushed into Rhys’ room. It was the first time Owen had a good look at it in the sunlight that bled into the shallow cave. There was a simple bed of leaves to the left corner of the room and a solid stone desk to the right. A strange stash of Pecha Berries was piled under the desk. Owen saw a small piece of parchment lodged inside the pile of berries in the shape of a heart. At first, Owen thought it was from Anam and his saccharine taste in themed shapes, but somehow, that didn’t feel correct.

Artifacts ranging from shiny to dusty lined three shelves in a half-circle around the room. Owen only recognized a few of them: an Everstone in the far right, which Owen subconsciously inched away from; something that looked like a prototype Badge, lumpy and bronze; something that looked like one of Nevren’s zany inventions, some metallic bracelet; and what looked like an old, faded edition of the Book of Mew.

The final item gave Owen pause. “Huh. Didn’t peg Rhys as a Mew sort of person,” he mumbled under his breath. “Seemed more like the Arceus type.” His eyes continued to trail along the other books lining the shelves. There was even a book that didn’t seem to have text on it at all. His gaze lingered on that book for a while before something else caught his eye.

And there it was, that pale green orb. Perhaps Rhys had forgotten about the orb in his rush to see Anam. For whatever reason, the orb was there, its glow significantly fainter against the morning sun peering through the cave’s entrance.

Owen squinted, suspicious. Rhys wasn’t the sort to be careless. Demitri mentioned an argument, perhaps after he had been put to sleep. Arguing with who? The mist? The orb itself? Maybe Owen wasn’t the only crazy one.

That voice—was it the mist?—told Owen to touch the orb. But should he listen to that mist or Rhys?

And sometimes, Rhys is an idiot, Owen recalled. Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi wandered the room, looking for a way up. Mispy’s vines were too short to reach on their own, and it was hard to pick someone like her up to begin with. She always did seem heavier than the average Chikorita—though, Owen had a feeling if he said that aloud, he’d face the wrath of her Solar Beam.

“But it’s still so high…” Demitri lamented.

Vines wrapped around his abdomen.

“N-no way! I can’t do it!” Demitri’s legs were already shaking uncontrollably.

Gahi chittered in disapproval. “Aw, c’mon, it’s barely that high.”

“I just can’t do it.” Demitri shook his head, little feet trembling in the air. “I—I mean, it’s… it’s just too high up!”

Mispy eyed Owen, sizing him up.

“What?” the Charmander asked.

Mispy brought two vines forward, wrapping around him.

“U-uhh—yes?”

Mispy lifted Owen. “Hmm. Half.” She glanced at Demitri. She had a much easier time lifting Owen in the air.

“Well, ain’t that something,” Gahi said. “Owen, y’were the piece we needed, eh? Okay. Let’s go an’ lift ‘im!”

Mispy nodded, but then nodded at Demitri. He went up to the wall and held his tiny arms against it; Gahi got behind Mispy and pushed his head beneath her. Using Gahi’s front as a platform, she climbed onto Demitri’s back, awkwardly maneuvering until her chest and forelegs wrapped around his head.

“W-w-wait!” Owen said. “Wait! What are we doing? M-move slower!” Was this it? He didn’t expect his wish to touch the sphere would be granted in this way. He had been mapping the room in his head, looking for shelves to hop and Rhys’ various knickknacks and books to use as footholds. Owen normally wouldn’t disrespect a book by using it as a stepping stone, but it could have been a necessary evil.

“We’re gonna grab that orb and take a look at it!” Gahi declared.

“O-oh, okay. But—but it wasn’t my idea, okay?! I need to make a good first impression with Rhys, and I don’t want him thinking I’m some—some delinquent!”

Gahi grumbled, “With vocab like that, I ain’t gonna feel too worried ‘bout that.”

“And with a vocabulary like yours,” Demitri said, “Rhys will probably think it was your idea.”

Owen hoped that his parents wouldn’t be upset if they found out. But then again—they didn’t even show up for his acceptance of the Heart position! Maybe a little rebellion was warranted. Yeah, that was a good excuse.

Up close, the orb seemed bigger—he wouldn’t be able to hold it with just one of his tiny hands. He saw what looked like a clump of grass swaying in the wind inside it. He’d need to grab it by both sides; it was almost half the size of his head. He saw little, flowing lights swirling around the grass.

“Just a little more, Mispy!” Owen called down. “I can get it!”

Mispy obliged, straining her vines. “Almost?!”

“Almost… got it…!” Owen took a break to let Mispy drift him closer, relaxing his arms. Then, he reached out one last time, feeling that Mispy was at her limit. He knew it, now—he could grab the orb! Owen reached out. “Okay, I—” Contact.

A blue light pulsed from his arms all through his scales, shining out of the ridges. Owen felt like a vapor, then suddenly oppressively solid, like he’d never properly had flesh and blood until just that moment.

And now, it was being taken away.

“O-Owen? Is it heavy?” Demitri called.

Owen felt himself falling into the orb. When he turned around, he saw his own body, glassy-eyed and emotionless.

The Charmander’s tail went out.

<><><>​

“Hrrmmnnn, what a mess,” Rhys muttered, walking through town at a brisk pace. His bag hung around his shoulder, the bottom bumping against the spike on his chest. He glanced down inside; he had a few items, along with a cloth wrapped around a large sphere, glowing faintly. He scanned the immediate area. Business as usual for most of the Hearts in Kilo Village. Missions, missions, and more missions. He spotted an Aerodactyl grumbling while posting papers on the bulletin board.

“Ahh, Rhys!” Nevren called.

The fur on Rhys’ body bristled. He walked without acknowledging the Alakazam.

“Now, Rhys, that’s no way to greet me,” Nevren said, following Rhys without moving his legs. “What are you doing here? You don’t often come to Kilo Village unless there is a ceremony.” He looked at the bag. “…It’s not exactly a good idea,” he said, “to be carrying that around right now, don’t you think?”

“I will take my chances.”

“Are you sure?” Nevren tilted his head. “Rim might try to take it from you in broad daylight. Do not think a crowd will discourage her. The Hunters have been getting antsy.”

“And what will she do if she sees me? Glare at my feet?”

“Now, Rhys, that was uncalled for.”

Rhys clutched at the bag. “…She entered our home yesterday.”

“…Ah.”

“I do not want her to endanger my students,” he said. “I would rather take it with me while speaking with Anam.”

“Hrm.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Rhys made a motion to walk past Nevren, hesitating briefly, knowing that Nevren would say something. Yet, when he didn’t, he continued past him.

Nevren watched Rhys walk. “Has Elder talked with you about any of this?”

Rhys hesitated, looking down at his bag. “Of course we talk.”

Silence.

“…Where are you going, anyway?” Rhys said, looking back.

“Ah, well. I was sent on a mission to where Owen had gone the day prior. I need to take care of one of the mutant sightings there before anybody else gets hurt; it was already designated as a restricted zone until further notice. I plan to give that further notice.”

“Ah.” Rhys hummed, glancing down at his bag, and then at Nevren. “Will you need help?”

“Not at all. This will be trivial. Carry on with your duties so you may return home with that Orb, yes?”

“Mrm. Very well.” Rhys continued up the stairs toward the gaudy red building.

The entryway, past the main, heart-shaped exterior, was a building of stone and wood, painted in various shades of pink, red, and purple. Pathways on the ground were painted in a dark violet to indicate which way to go in the main lobby; the walls were a soft, invigorating red, with white stripes separating the red from the purple and other colors. The ceiling was pink, and the upper half of the walls shared the same color. They were all solid colors with no real pattern, except for some floral designs lining where the colors changed.

The color scheme disgusted Rhys, but he didn’t have the heart to berate Anam for his taste in décor.

To Rhys’ left was a stairway into the in-house dorms, where Hearts that preferred to live directly inside Kilo Village slept. To the right was where official business took place, such as meetings, private assemblies, and administrative work. Rhys entered the right stairway.

A Decidueye emerged from the floor in a black mist.

“Rhys,” James said. “Is this about the recent sighting?”

“Calm Water Lake? Somewhat. Where is Anam?”

“He is in his quarters.” He motioned behind him with a wing. “I will see you there.” He sank into the ground again.

Goodra Anam’s quarters were at the very edge of the building, at the back of the Heart. The Heart of Hearts himself stared at a large map of the world on the front wall, above the entryway. Due to Anam’s size, it wasn’t easy to see the rest of his room. However, the gentle, strange, sweet smell associated with the Goodra permeated the atmosphere. It was like he bathed in Pecha juice.

“Oh, hi, Rhys!” Anam said, waving. “I was just looking at the map.”

Rhys entered and inspected the map with Anam. The map was ancient and hand-drawn. Much better copies existed of the world, but this was Anam’s copy. The original copy, apparently, complete with dried slime and illegible scribbles in the empty spaces. Kilo Village, and by extension Kilo Mountain, was at the center of this map, displaying a largely circular landmass.

“…Calm Water Lake,” Rhys said, pointing to the northeastern river that fed into the reservoir. “We always suspected an orb would be hidden there. But we didn’t find one, last we checked.”

“We assumed it was a false lead,” James said. “Previous signs lasted only for a short while, after all. But it happened again, and this time we have actual witnesses to prove it.”

“Not good.” Rhys sighed. “They might be taken by the Hunters… But perhaps we should also investigate.”

“There were sightings of a Torkoal entering the lake,” James said. “I assume you know him, Rhys?”

Rhys looked away from the map and toward the ground. “Yes, I’m sure that Elder attempted to speak with whoever held the orb. Anam… I wanted to tell you some extra information.” He paused to make sure he had their attention. “It is likely the Water Orb—my students explored it, unannounced.”

“W-wait, your students?” Anam said. “You mean… all four of them… together? Wouldn’t that spook the Guardian?”

“Yes,” Rhys said. “They are fine. Owen is, too. The Water Guardian may not have realized anything, thanks to their current state.”

James’ feathers puffed out considerably. “Those four are not supposed to be together, ever, Rhys.”

“I understand,” Rhys said, “but a… series of circumstances caused them to be together, recently. But that will be the end of it. Once I get home”—Rhys let out a defeated sigh—"I will… set things right. Owen will return home. The rest of Team Alloy will forget him again. He will train and meditate, and… things will remain as they have always been.”

“…You’re lying,” Anam said, nibbling on his slimy fingers. The feelers on his head twitched uncomfortably.

“Ngh.” Rhys’ head went lower. “Anam, don’t start talking about any silly ‘dark emotions’ you may feel from me. I get enough of that from Owen’s Perceive.”

“S-sorry,” Anam said, looking down. “But… it was just so obvious.”

“We can’t allow this,” James said. “I understand your feelings on the matter, Rhys. But it’s still too dangerous. Perhaps later. But not now.”

“It has been that way for quite a while, hasn’t it? Perhaps later. Perhaps later…” Rhys smiled bitterly at James. “That is all I wanted to say. Thank you, Anam. Be careful.”

“Rhys…” Anam sniffed. “I… I don’t want you to be upset!” He wiped gooey tears from his face. “Can I do anything to help?!”

Rhys closed his eyes. “Anam. A long time ago, you told me that you saw great potential in the bond that my students shared. If they could train their spirits to overcome their… weaknesses… they could perhaps tip this teetering scale in our favor. But to you, Anam,” he said, turning around, “what is that favor? What then, if we win?”

“F-favor…?”

Rhys crossed his arms. “How do you plan to use my students, Anam?”

“I… I just, um…” Anam hesitated. “I don’t know. But together, they’re really, really strong.”

“I see,” Rhys said. His eyes were closed again. “Anam.” He stared at Anam, right in his glistening, green eyes. “I’m sorry to hear that you don’t know what to do with that power. But the world will not wait for your decision. And neither will they.”

“What?” Anam asked. “What’s that mean? Rhys…?”

The Elite Heart said nothing else and turned to exit. James, glaring from behind, assured Anam that Rhys was merely upset at his circumstances, and he just had to blow off some steam. While this was normally true, James sounded worried.

Rhys’ ears twitched. He overheard their fading conversation.

“Anam,” James said, “is he not always like this when he has that tone?”

“This time… he feels different.” Anam sniffled. “He’s telling the truth… b-but what’s that mean? I dunno… I dunno…”

<><><>​

“Goodness. You’re an angry one.”

Nevren tilted his head to the right and stepped away, narrowly dodging a brutal swing from the muscular Snorlax mutant. In the close quarters of the wooden Dungeon labyrinth, it wasn’t the easiest maneuver, but it seemed like Nevren knew exactly where to move before the strikes even began. The air that followed made the Alakazam’s mustache dance with the flow. The strange creature made another brutal swing, trying to punch him in the torso next, but Nevren vanished in thin air.

The Snorlax stared at his hand, squeezing his claws dumbly.

“So unhinged. Is there even any reason within you?” Nevren asked. The question was rhetorical. He floated just above Snorlax’s shoulders. He tapped a spoon on the behemoth’s head, squinting at some invisible spot on his skull. “Yes, very disturbed. There may not be any coming back from this one. You’re simply too berserk.”

Snorlax roared and swung behind him; Nevren hopped on air, easily avoiding his arm, and then formed a small ball of light in his hands.

“It’s a shame. I don’t know how to dispatch someone like you most of the time. You’re a danger to all life, you know. Yes, a true shame…”

Snorlax opened his mouth, orange energy concentrating at the back of his throat. The sphere emerged, aimed at Nevren.

“Ah. Hyper Beam. I should have—”

The blast cut through the ground and into the forest behind him; trees splintered near the top, and one of the labyrinthine walls of the Dungeon turned to ash, leaving a scorched hole into another hallway. Embers and smoke filled the air.

Wordlessly, Snorlax turned around and lumbered through the Dungeon, growling. His arms twitched and swung, and the Snorlax himself was breathing heavily and angrily. He roared and slammed his fist into the wall, leaving a crater as big as he was in it. Then, he continued forward.

“Yes. Too far gone.”

Snorlax spun around, blasting another Hyper Beam through the smoke. This time, it didn’t hit anything for a while. It struck the end of the hall with a distant explosion. The glowing eyes of an Alakazam shined through the smoke.

“Oh? You can blast them repeatedly? What drawback does that give you, hmm? Perhaps it takes up too much energy.”

Snorlax fired again, this time directly at the glowing eyes, but they disappeared a split second before the blast could connect. Nevren reappeared upside-down in front of Snorlax, tapping a single, glowing finger to his forehead.

Snorlax stopped his blast; the energy that had been gathered dissipated harmlessly in all directions. But his mouth didn’t close. His legs wobbled, but he didn’t quite fall, so much as he leaned against the wall that hadn’t been destroyed.

Nevren sighed, looking at the entranced mutant. “I apologize in advance.” His eyes glowed brightly. Nevren placed his palm on the Snorlax’s chest; the glow of his eyes channeled rapidly down his neck, into his arm, into his palm, and then into Snorlax.

After a brief spasm, the Snorlax disappeared from the Dungeon.

Nevren dug through the bag over his shoulder and pulled out his Badge. He tapped on the Heart symbol in the center twice and held it in the air. After several seconds of waiting for the safe extraction to be established, he disappeared from the Dungeon, reappearing near the entrance. While he fully expected to see the unconscious, or perhaps dead, Snorlax nearby, nothing waited for him at the entrance to the distortion.

“Hm.” Nevren inspected the area halfheartedly but then shrugged. He supposed it was already taken care of, then. Efficient. Nevren spared a glance at a charm in his bag, glowing a dim gray. A few moments later, it brightened to cyan.

Nodding to himself, Nevren raised his Badge to return to Kilo Village.

<><><>​

Rhys’ walk back home was a quiet one. He heard wild Pidgey singing in the trees. Rattata scampered in the bushes. Auras were wild or calm, rushing or resting. Wild Pokémon in this area weren’t anything to worry about. That was one reason he enjoyed living in the forest to the side of Kilo Village’s outskirts. The auras didn’t overwhelm his senses.

It also meant that if a powerful aura was around, he could spot it instantly.

“Hello, Rim.” Rhys stopped walking and lifted his head. To his left was the black, rocky Kilo Mountainside. To the right was the surrounding Kilo Forest, comprised of thin trees with thick, lumpy tops. And ahead and behind him, the thin, grassy field that connected the two.

An Espurr appeared in front of Rhys, ten of his paces away. She was floating at eye-level to Rhys, but she didn’t look directly at him. She stared at his feet instead.

“H-hello…” Her voice was like a whisper, barely audible over the wind. Rhys had to strain his sensitive ears.

“I didn’t appreciate your antics last night.”

Rim didn’t reply.

“Will you stop, then?”

Again, no reply came.

“I see,” Rhys said. “So, it’s begun again. Do not think that I am unprepared, Rim. Send that message to the others.”

“The… orb… p-please…”

“This?” Rhys grabbed at the strap, pulling his bag up. “You intend to take the Orb?”

“P-please…”

“I will not allow it.”

The wind died down. For a few breaths, the atmosphere lost its ambient sounds. Then, it picked up again. The leaves on bushes rustled; wild Pokémon, sensing the tension, fled. The wind stopped again. Rim’s fur, however, continued to blow, energy swirling around her.

Air twisted around Rhys; in a deft movement, he jumped back, dodging Rim’s first Psychic blast. The dirt where he stood warped into an oblong, spiral spike of grass and mud. Rhys countered with a bright ball of concentrated light from his paws, aimed at Rim. It was weakened by an odd, invisible barrier, but still passed through, making the Espurr squeak. She countered with another bout of twisting energy. Rhys dodged it again but felt the fur at the edge of his tail spiral into a corkscrew.

Rhys fired another Flash Cannon at her, its brilliance scaring off all spectating wild Pokémon. Rim vanished. Rhys cursed and glanced behind him; he sensed a powerful presence in front of him, but it was too late. Twisting energy surrounded Rhys. Bones strained and he lost the wind in his chest. He jumped away but dropped his bag in the process.

Rim readied another wave. Rhys ran in the opposite direction and then redirected himself. He fired another ball of silver light one last time; Rim dodged but had to close her eyes against the bright detonation. When she opened them again, he was gone, but the bag remained. Based on the dim glow it emitted, the orb was still inside.

Rhys watched silently from a rocky outcrop, eyes closed. He tracked her aura but tried to hide his own.

Rim hastily floated down and pulled the cloth out. The orb fell out of the bag, knocking against the dirt with a dull thud. She smiled in relief and hastily grabbed the orb with both hands.

Nothing happened. Her smile transitioned into a confused frown.

In another second, her big, purple eyes bulged with panic. She pulled her hands away and then touched it again. Nothing. She touched it yet again. Still, nothing. She whimpered and knocked her claws against the side. It made a hollow tink.

The glow inside was just a latent Aura Sphere; Rhys had mimicked the Mystic radiance perfectly, yet it was all a fabrication. It was simply colored glass.

Rhys swiftly left the battlefield, undetected.

<><><>​

“Got it, guys!” Owen said. “Ha ha, that was… what?” The orb wasn’t in his hands anymore.

He stood in a clearing within a forest vaguely similar to the one outside Rhys’ home. Sunlight poured through the treetops above, creating dazzling patterns on the ground. A large, open field sat to his right, beyond tree trunks wider than he was tall. More and more forest surrounded him in all directions. Tanned wood topped with bright green. There was no mountain and no nearby cave; Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi were nowhere to be seen.

“Okay. I’m crazy,” Owen finally conceded, looking at his hands. He was certain that he was holding the orb, or that he at least grabbed it. But then, in an instant, it was gone, and then… What happened after that? He fell, and… his tail? Or did he… no, that wasn’t right…

He had blacked out for at most half a blink. And then, he was here. It still felt like Mispy was holding him, but it was some sort of phantom sensation. He saw no vines wrapped around his abdomen.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast.” But then again, he didn’t feel hungry.

Something rustled behind him.

“U-uh—h-h-hello?” The flame on his tail brightened. Fire danced in the back of his throat. His heart was racing with onset panic at being thrown into a completely unfamiliar place.

More rustling behind him again, where he had once been facing—and to his left, and his right, and above him. Eyes everywhere, little dots in the shadows of bushes and branches. He caught sight of one of them.

“H-hey!” he said, pointing. “I saw that! C-come out! And—and do it in a… slow and non-threatening way! Please!”

After a few seconds, a Leafeon emerged. Owen deflated with his sigh.

A few other Pokémon revealed themselves, including a large Jumpluff. Another was a Murkrow—but instead of its iconic, black feathers, it was covered in sharp, green leaves. Another emerged—this one was a Cubone, holding a solid, wooden stick instead of a bone. Its helmet was made of the same material. The Jumpluff—an actual, normal Pokémon—helped him relax the same way seeing the Leafeon did. If there was anywhere for him to be placed randomly, a place of Grass-Types wasn’t too bad.

“Hey,” Owen said, lowering his guard. “Sorry. I’m just a little… confused. Um. Where am I?” He nervously nibbled on his tongue. “I’m sorry if I’m, um, intruding, or anything like that. I think I got here by accident, somehow. I’ll go right home! When… I know where that is.”

The Pokémon all looked at one another. They seemed to understand Owen and were murmuring to one another. Owen’s breathing steadied. At least they weren’t wild. Another ideal circumstance. He listened in on the words being said, sensing that quite a few of these Pokémon were tense and ready to fight or flee. He gulped. Was he about to become a Carnivine’s lunch? Some Grass cult’s sacrifice? Even if he had an advantage, he didn’t think he’d be able to take on all of them. It would be the most humiliating way to die, really—a Charmander, eaten by a bunch of Grass-Types.

The mumbling slowly subsided; more and more of their eyes focused on something behind Owen. The Charmander almost didn’t want to look back. He could feel it. A presence—a powerful, incredible, radiant presence. Perhaps it was the cult’s leader, ready to cook him up. Charmander stew! With only the finest herbs and berries. It cooked itself.

He couldn’t move; his flame burned brighter, ready to run and torch anything that stopped him.

“Yo,” said a feminine, yet casual voice. “Took you long enough.”

By some miracle, Owen heard this voice over the blood pounding in his head. This voice sounded familiar. Recent. Wait! It was the pretty voice!

He spun around.

His jaw nearly detached from the rest of his head. “M-M-M… Muh—Muh—”

“Nice to meet you in spirit, Owen,” Mew said, smiling wryly. “How’s life?”

 

[lucarioknight56]

Cross-posting with Bulbagarden. If you'd prefer me not to, make sure to let me know!

Grammar/Style:
The only grammar mistake I remember right now is the use of 'were' rather than 'was'? Or maybe it was the reverse. There was also Rhys asking about the pose required to get into Owen's house; it ought to have a question mark rather than a comma, unless you were intending for it to sound like a neutral statement. There was also a place you could use a colon where Rhys is describing why he likes this forest setting in this last chapter. Regardless, you've gotten pretty good.

As for style, you use a more...simplistic voice. Not that that's bad, not at all. It works quite well for quickly describing character actions and moving through the tale quickly. Most of the exposition we receive is through Owen's sight, so I'd say this is third-person limited, with some deviances on occasion. That's the style I tend to use, but I like shifting between two perspectives consistently across a chapter, but that's just me.

Plot/Story:

One of the bigger issues I have with fanfiction as a whole is that authors like making it an episodic series rather than the size of an actual novel; it allows for more fluff than needed and doesn't plan for an end in sight. That's something that I doubt will really change, but connected to that is the PMD style of pacing, which is generally slowly bringing the characters up to speed in the Guild, gradually bringing in the large-scale plot, then heaping it on all at once. That tends to be a criticism in the series, and a perfectly understandable one at that. And you mostly avoid it.

At this point in the story (six chapters), we're already getting to see the bigger picture of what's happening: mutant Pokemon are coming, these elemental orbs are in danger, and there seems to be some meddling by the higher-ups to keep it under wraps--I dunno, it's just how it appears on the last one. Up till now, we've been worried about Owen's sake, but as time goes on, there are questions about the world in general--especially as Owen keeps getting this overarching feeling of familiarity.

A decent plot so far, but I'd say that I'm in it more for Owen's personality rather than this. That is subject to change, however; PMD plots have the tendency to change from character-driven to plot-driven in the end due to the twists and turns, and that is always something I enjoy.

Characters:
So far, I'm not sure I can say much. Little development has happened, and most characters don't feel particularly memorable--mostly because they haven't done anything suited to their species, to be frank. Owen is memorable due to his personality and with his species (Charmander) being used in a believable way in the setting. Rhys I can remember because he's my favorite Pokemon (Lucario) and his personality and plot-importance to his point make readers remember. Nevren as well, especially with the dream battle scene. Then, of course there's Anam with his blubbery nature.

I remember a thread mentioning how epithets are overused, but in PMD, I'd say it is the only place it is well justified. It can be hard to keep track of all the species of Pokemon, especially when we're just starting out. While it would be difficult to forget Owen's species, the other so-far minor characters are quite forgettable, and I don't remember there being too many reminders on what species they were save for a physical description--which isn't always the most useful. Try to intersperse this sort of reminder n the prose, and I think they will stand out more.

Other than that, character personalities are somewhat distinct, at least with Owen and the leaders. Can't say the same for his teammates, as they haven't been focused on enough to do that, but it's still early on, so that can be changed.

Setting:
I can tell you have made a more traditional take on a PMD setting, choosing to go with the usual format of a Mystery Dungeon and its items. I don't have a problem with that, but I find that trying to incorporate a game mechanic that's RNG more than anything makes it difficult to easily bring into prose. I tried it out in my first two stories, and it ultimately became boring and repetitive. You avoid that by seemingly not using the floor mechanic, which is something I should have avoided. Kudos on that, as it makes Point-A-to-Point-B a lot easier to do.

In terms of the overworld, it is...fine. The issue is that we don't get to see much of it since your style of writing doesn't tend to allow for detailed descriptions, especially for settings. Often the biggest things that make a world are the small things; what is going on around Owen in the streets? The trees? The village? I tend to use scenes where a character is walking to describe that first, then go on to their actual thoughts, as it tends to be a good transition. You've done better in description in this last chapter you posted with Rhys' room,

I can tell that there is a deep world waiting to be explored here. You do a good job of letting us see inside Owen's head and see what he thinks, but try using the third-person viewpoint to its fullest by going into setting description. That is arguably its strength over first-person, where you have to stay in character as you describe a setting. If you want help, you can always go to my little thread I made here. I don't usually like advertising, but I made the material, and it can be quite useful if needed--if comments and likes are anything to go by.

Side Note: I find it interesting that you gave each Pokemon a unique last name rather than first, keeping true to the games while also granting the opportunity to differentiate. It makes sense from a world standpoint, but it would be nice to see that utilized for when we do encounter another Pokemon of the same species. Little details that are used in the world make it feel alive.

Overall:
A nice, well-written addition to the PMD universe, even if it so far has troubles standing out with a lack of worldbuilding due to a lack of setting description. Keep at it! You're doing great, especially if you've avoided spelling/grammar errors!