Pokémon: The Retelling

[DANdotW]

Agree with Misty being bipolar; it didn't flow as well as I wanted. "A" hundred was used inappropriately, indeed. I never did like the whole "you destroyed my bike" or the Spearow attack, myself, so I altered that for that reason.

I'd rather show a reason for Pichu being reluctant later on that just let my readers guess.

Most people don't apologise when smiling, true, but many people smile while apoligising. That's why there is even an "apologetic smile". Many people use their mouths to give off emotion as well as their eyes, face etc. You can smile in a way that annoys people, gives off the impression that you're going to go on a mad murder spree, and you can smile in a way that shows people that you are sorry for what you did and are happy they're accepting your apology.

I never meant that he had a smug grin on his face when he said it. Simply that his mouth had an upward inflection as opposed to a downward grimace.

Thanks though. It's much nicer to get reasons why people don't like it than just statements saying someone does. I really appreciate it. Once I'm done writing the chapter I'm on (Chapter 7 I think at the moment), I'll come back and give these first few a once over.

Iota

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

...you're at chapter 7 and haven't posted the rest of them yet? Huh...

Anyway. If you're making him smile apologetically, use the adjective, rather than leave it open to interpretation. Also, I really don't see why Ash should fight Misty back then, even, considering he just met her by accident and she probably would just tell him to go away rather than 'YOU ME FIGHT NOW'.

And what's the problem with 'making your readers guess'? Suspense is when you're leaving things hidden from the audience. It draws their attention and curiosity and they want to find out what it is, and the longer you take the more the buildup will increase until eventually they'll be really desperate to know. There would have been nothing wrong with keeping Pichu disliking Pokéballs from the start and hinting as the story progressed that there was a deeper reason.

Which reminds me. There's an unspoken rule of sorts about characterization that could be called 'the five minute rule'. That is, upon a main character's initial presentation, there needs to be up to five minutes where the reader can see what the character's default personality is. While nobody acts one way or the other all the time, this is what clarifies in our mind the character being 'cool and nihilistic', 'a bit weird', 'logical with an affinity for the opposite gender', or 'hot-blooded with a strong sense of Justice'. You did it sufficiently well with the other characters, but not with Pichu.

Is this because he can't talk? Then use actions. Otherwise, people are going to think Pichu is a 'Pokébot'; a character who's there only for the fight scenes. This is what I'm thinking of him, right now, to be frank. He didn't display any personality. He didn't try and look cute, or look intimidated by the huge human in front of him, or grew nervous or tense at seeing a stranger... he just... stared at him.

Oh, by the way, what is it with the light from a Pokéball being so bright? If it doesn't hurt our eyes, it isn't going to hurt theirs.

There. Hopefully this is useful as usual.

 

[DANdotW]

It's not going to hurt our eyes because we're not there. Imagine someone shining a torch in your eyes, or staring directly at the sun. It's more often than not too bright for your eyes and can hurt.

I don't want to post all six chapters in one go, because what would be the point in updating so frequently and then stopping?

I do still stick to my characterisation of the Pokémon. I've honestly never heard of this "five minute rule" and so I'm not too bothered about him not showing a default personality within the space of one chapter. The more you read, the more you'll know, right?

With that said, here's the next chapter.

~~~~

Chapter 3 – Team Introduction

Ash and Misty glared at each other over the drink-stained table. Ash grimaced as she won the staring contest, guzzling down a glass of water without blinking or staring away.

Admitting defeat, he pulled off another chunk of oran berry pie with his fork, shoving the large helping of the blue fruit into his mouth and chomping on it so hard he bit the side of his cheek. He pretended to mess with the laces on his shoes to cover up the expression of pain on his face.

While underneath the table, he heard a jingle from above. Sitting back up, he saw a small speaker on the side of the table that he hadn’t paid any attention to when they had first sat down.

“They’re ready for us now,” Misty said, standing up and pulling the strap her red drawstring bag over her left shoulder. He saw her stomach properly for the first time now, and was impressed at how firm it was.

“How do you get a stomach like that?” he asked through a giant mouthful of the pie, rushing to stand up and getting a head rush. She stared at him as if he had just stolen her favourite plush toy.

“I’m a water-type Pokémon specialist,” she answered, with almost no emotion in her voice or any expression Ash could determine on her face, “so I’m in the water a lot. Most swimmers have flat stomachs. It also helps if you don’t force down three slices of pie!”

They walked over the pink and off-cream tiles to the front desk, a place they had already been a few hours earlier.

Behind the desk was a woman in a long white dress, crisp and clean. Over that, she wore a baby-pink apron, complete with a red “P” identical to the sign at the front of the centre. She had glossy black hair, tied back into a bun, and stared at the two through thick glasses.

“Your Pokémon have been nursed back to full health,” she told them, speaking in a low voice, with almost no enthusiasm. Ash couldn’t help but feel as if it was a scripted sentence she said to everyone. “We look forward to seeing you again, and hope you excel on your quest.”

“And are the keys to our room ready?” Ash asked her, leaning past Misty. He was eager to get into their room, which was at a discount price due to Ash still being in his first week as a trainer. He was tired, and with the light beginning to fade outside, he couldn’t help but wish he had gone to sleep earlier the night before.

“What room number is it?” the receptionist asked. Misty interrupted before Ash could answer.

“It’s not as if there are many other guests here, anyway,” she informed the woman, an angry edge sticking to the back of her young voice. “Everyone in Viridian City either has a home or is here to battle the Gym Leader. Since the Gym Leader’s not at his gym right now, and hasn’t been for a few days, there are no challengers in town.”

“Your point being?” the woman asked, her voice clearly showing the two she was bored, and ready for the conversation to end.

“My point being that there are no trainers other than us here! Don’t you think the only room key waiting to be given out would be ours?”

“I could be giving the key to anybody if the trainer doesn’t know the room number.”

“Room 1A,” Ash told the woman with a sigh. The woman rolled her eyes at Misty and handed Ash a small silver key, topped with a red rubber case. She told him the price and he almost fell with shock. “I’m supposed to have a beginner’s discount!”

“That’s with the discount taken off,” she told him, turning to the computer at her left in an attempt to force him to stop talking to her. Rather than continue the argument, Ash agreed to pay the money at the end of their stay, and left with the key.

He and Misty decided to head straight to their room, although Ash had not prepared himself for the reaction he held when they opened the plain wooden door.

The décor on the inside was as bare as the door. The walls were painted an off-white that reminded Ash of unclean clothes, and there was a distinct smell of the Pokémon technique called Sweet Scent.

“You’d think since we’re the only customers, they’d have given us a nicer room,” he commented, ignoring the fact that Misty had walked straight into the bedroom and placed her drawstring bag on the sole bed, which Ash immediately thought of as shorter than the average beginning trainer.

“You’re paying them almost nothing, and you expect a nice room?” she asked, fluffing a pillow before throwing herself onto the bed, and shuddering as she felt next to no bounce from the mattress.

“It’d be an idea,” he said, realising how whiney his voice had become in that last comment. Resigning to the idea of the room being helpful, he placed the backpack, which took up the size of his whole back, on the floor next to the white-painted desk. On the desk was a computer, which Ash decided to use.

As he searched the internet for videos of his favourite battles, he became aware of a presence above his left shoulder. When he turned his head, as he had both hoped and expected, Misty was leering at the screen, watching a referee, whose face had been covered by shadow, telling a trainer off for a misdemeanour.

“Are you looking for a nice new fishing rod for me?” she asked him, prodding him in his shoulder blade until he answered.

“I promised I’d buy you one when I could,” he reminded her, thinking back to the small amount of money he had recklessly spent and spent until hardly any was left for his journey. “Isn’t that enough?”

She sighed, and returned to the bedroom, leaving a blanket and a flat grey pillow for Ash to use on the sofa as a makeshift bed. Ash ignored her words and door-slamming easily, having perfected the tolerance for raised voices with his mother, who had enjoyed the odd rant about anything that caught her fancy.

Thinking about Delilah got him down, and Ash went back to his search engine, typing in “Pallet Garden Restaurants”. The engine came up with a few page results, many about a man called Pallet Gardens being guilty for various things.

Five choices down was the website Daisy Oak had set up for the eatery as a favour to Delilah, and also as a favour to Professor Oak, in an attempt to sabotage her restaurant so that he could have her back in his lab.

There was a picture on the screen of Delilah Ketchum, smiling as she held out a large plate of noodles for the viewer, as if he or she were a customer in the restaurant. Ash scanned down the menu and saw that she had requested Daisy put on one of her signature dishes. One privilege of this was that Ash had always had the meals for free as he was growing up.

The downside, however, was that she had practiced with various new dishes on Ash himself, subjecting him to some horrid tastes that still made him shiver when he remembered them.

There was a fuzzy noise, similar to the sound the Pokédex emitted when it was scanning the information on a Pokémon. The screen began to wobble and lose parts of the webpage. Ash banged his hand on the tower, and a much larger sound than expected came from it.

Ash jumped as his thump gave off a loud boom for the whole town to hear, and the Pokémon Centre rumbled underneath him. He sat still for a moment until the sound of thudding feet woke him from his stupor. The door slammed open, and a fully dressed Misty came running out with her bag slung over her shoulder.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, beads of sweat forming between her brows.

“I don’t know,” Ash answered, shuffling sideways away from the computer.

There was a scream from below them, and the two scurried from the room as soon as Ash could pick up his bag.

They ran down the now dark staircase, all the way to the lobby, where the scream had come from. When they got there, they saw the nurse that had been rude to Ash earlier that day, pressed up against a wall with the tip of a Pokémon’s tail.

Upon closer inspection, even in the dark Ash could make out the details of the Pokémon that had the nurse pinned. Its body was long, longer than Ash by far, and it was a deep purple. The Pokémon had a ring circling its thick body directly under its jaw, and a strip all along the underbelly of the same sickly honey colour.

Its entire body was scaled, apart from the tail that pressed against the woman, which was segmented and the same honey colour, shaped as if it were a child’s rattle.

“Help me,” she mouthed with a pleading stare, now having noticed Ash and Misty. It was at this time the two noticed they weren’t alone in the lobby area. Two figures were hunched over the desk, pulling things from draws.

“Where is that damn key!” one of them, sounding female, shouted, as she threw a folder over to their side of the counter.

“I’m not sure,” the second voice said, quite obviously male due to the deep ring it had, “but she refuses to tell us anything anyway.”

“Maybe Ekans can get her to talk,” the woman said, turning around and noticing the two young trainers. “James, we’re not alone!” Her voice was quick and sounded similar to a hiss.

“What do you mean?”

“Ekans!”

The serpent and the male also turned around, and Ash attempted to get a good look at them. The girl, who had turned her head first, looked younger than Misty did from the distance Ash could see her, and perhaps even his own age.

She had pale skin, and a sharp pointed nose, with defined cheekbones and a prominent chin. He pushed down a laugh when he saw her long hair, which was a light shade of violet and slicked back from her forehead, only to be thrust to the side at a permanent angle.

The male looked similar to her, but older. His skin was even paler, and his features were not as pronounced, but his hair was almost as outlandish. He had shoulder length hair, coloured a light blue.

They both wore identical costumes. They consisted of black workman trousers and a matching baggy shirt, which both had tucked into their bottoms. On each shirt was a large red “R”.

“Ekans, disperse them with a Poison Sting!” the girl shouted, her voice giving away her temper. The serpent faced its large head towards Ash and Misty, while still pinning the nurse down with its tail.

“Kans!” it cried, almost squealing as it spewed masses of purple needles at the pair. Misty reacted much faster than Ash.

“Come on out and use Fury Attack, Goldeen!”

She threw the red and white sphere directly into the range of the barbs and it opened, releasing the same water-type he had battled only the day before, although it felt to Ash like he had been travelling longer than a day.

Goldeen’s fins wavered as her horn began to shimmer as if covered in glitter. The speed at which it moved afterwards was staggering, and she knocked down all of the poisonous barbs, snapping them and rendering them useless as they disintegrated.

“Jessica, forget the nurse,” James said to the younger girl, “just get Ekans to use the Wrap attack father told you about.”

“Ekans, get over there and trap it with your Wrap attack.”

After pushing the nurse to the side with its strong tail, Ekans thrust itself through the air toward Goldeen, twining its body around the water-type before she had a chance to react.

“Aren’t you going to do anything?” Misty asked Ash, accusingly as she grabbed a second Pokéball, throwing it into the air. “Come out and help us, Staryu!”

Ash, as if called to order, plucked Pichu’s Pokéball off the magnetic strip on his belt and enlarged it, throwing it to meet Misty’s other sphere. Both Pokéballs opened and upon release of the Pokémon, returned to their respective trainers via the recognition system installed.

Pichu landed on the floor, cocking his head curiously as he looked through the dark at the fighting Pokémon in the centre of the lobby. Next to him was Misty’s other Pokémon, which had granite-textured skin in the shape of a star.

Ash couldn’t see any eyes or a mouth, but in the centre, surrounded by a brilliant gold band that spiralled around each point of its star-shaped body, was a glimmering red gem, coloured deeper than blood, but no less beautiful than a ruby.

“Hya!” it called, but from where, Ash couldn’t tell. The two arms of its five-pointed body bent in anticipation of the battle.

“Staryu, get that Ekans off Goldeen with your Rapid Spin attack!” Misty called, looking at Ash expectantly. “Are you going to battle?”

“Sure,” Ash said, looking at her with a blank expression, before turning to Pichu. “Okay, Pichu. Use your Thundershock attack on Ekans.”

As Staryu flew into the air with a great spin of its body, soaring to the serpent, Pichu began charging electricity in his cheek sacs. Misty’s face filled with horror.

“You idiot! That attack is going to hit Goldeen,” she shouted at him, her green eyes livid, “and maybe even Staryu. I can’t believe you didn’t think of that! Staryu, you need to hurry it up!”

Ash didn’t have time to see how everything panned out. He saw Staryu spinning over to the fighting pair with its hard brown skin; Pichu building up electricity in the forms of sparks all around his small cheek sacs, barely able to hold the power.

And then James had pulled out a Pokéball of his own, and thrown it into the fray, but Ash couldn’t see what had emerged from it, because the room had suddenly been filled with a thick green smoke that made both Ash and Misty cough.

“It’s three on two, Jessica!” they heard James roar at the girl, “You know who she is! We’re not going to win here. Recall your Ekans!”

Ash saw a faint red glow, and heard Goldeen grunt as she hit the floor. Pichu released all of its electricity, and his something. He heard Jessica scream and assumed it was something of theirs and not Misty’s.

“Tackle!” James called, before a quick purple blur crashed into Pichu, swiftly disappearing into the smog again. There was another red glow, and Ash assumed the Pokémon had been returned.

“Staryu,” Misty said between coughs, covering her mouth and squinting her eyes, “use Rapid Spin to get rid of Smog!”

“Hya!”

There was a sound similar to a fan, and soon after, the smog was dissipating, leaving Goldeen flailing on the ground and Pichu dazed from his own electricity.

“What was with you back there?” Misty shouted at him, grabbing his collars and pulling him closer to her. “You flaked, and then tried an attack that could have hit my Pokémon. Did you just start your journey yesterday or something?”

“Well,” Ash began, looking down at his sole Pokéball and blushing, “yeah, I did.”

Her face softened, and she let him go, reaching instead for her Pokéballs. “Return.”

The usual red beams shot towards Staryu and Goldeen and converted them into the same red energy on contact, dragging them inside the confines of their Pokéballs.

Ash copied her, and the two didn’t speak again for the rest of the morning.

The nurse proceeded to shower them with thanks and offering them another night to stay in a nice room, but Misty had declined. It had turned out that the two trainers had escaped with more than twenty Pokéballs from the Pokémon Centre’s vault, effectively stealing more than twenty Pokémon owned by trainers from the town.

Ash wondered who they were, and what the letter on their black uniforms could signify, but since he and Misty were no longer on speaking terms for the time being, he decided not to ask. They grabbed the remaining belongings from their room and turned the key in to the main desk.

They had reached the foot of Viridian Forest when Misty stopped and turned to him.

“I’m sorry I reacted like that, Ash,” she said, not making eye contact with him.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, trying not to think about it. She had been right to shout at him. For four years he had been preparing for this moment, getting himself ready, and when the time came to battle for the protection of a nurse and a new friend, he panicked.

“I always get agitated when my Pokémon are in a position like that,” she explained, as the two carried on in a slow march, “but I suppose I need to remember this is only your second day as a trainer. It’s a lot more different when you’re out here than on TV, or learning about it, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it really is,” he agreed, pushing past a tree branch as they entered the forest. He noticed Misty shudder. “Are you okay?”

“I hate Viridian Forest,” she told him, a worried look passing her eyes.

“Why?” he asked, hiding the smirk that wanted to surface.

“I don’t like bug-type Pokémon,” she admitted, ducking under a tree branch on her own side of the narrow entrance with a swift movement, as if it had been in flames, “and I haven’t ever since I was a kid. My mother and I were at the Seafoam Islands the other day, and I decided to stay around Viridian City for a little while to fish.”

Ash detected a dirty look shot his way, although he decided against turning around.

“And now I’m not looking forward to getting through here.”

“Misty,” Ash began, looking at her again, noticing for the first time that she had hooked most of her hair up into a bun with spiked hair jutting out from its underside.

“Yeah?” she asked, not noticing the concern in his eyes.

“Who were those trainers?”

She was silent for a while, and he could see by her face that she was thinking, although what about he could not tell.

“From the looks of the uniforms they were wearing, I’d say they were part of Team Rocket.”

Ash thought for a few seconds, before he remembered hearing about them on the news. They were a band of criminals, using their Pokémon to make money and steal more Pokémon from unsuspecting and weak trainers.

According to his mother, Team Rocket had been around years before, run by a woman called Madame Boss, but they disbanded when most of her schemes failed them, and the group of trainers known as the Elite’s took them down.

Ash shuddered and tried to change the subject.

“So, you’re quite good at battling,” he complimented Misty, hoping to get on her good side, “how long have you been travelling?”

“If you go by my age, I should have been travelling for just over a year,” she told him, adding “my birthday was just over a month ago. I haven’t really travelled much, as a trainer though. This is probably the longest I’ve been away from home by myself. My mother would rather me look after the Gy…” she paused for a second, and stared at Ash, right into his eyes, gauging his reaction. “Look after my three younger sisters!”

“There was no need to shout that last part,” he told her, rubbing his ears from the outburst. She was about to answer him, and probably with some sort of sarcastic comment from the initial look on her face. Her face had instantly turned to fear, however, and when Ash turned he saw the cause.

On the mossy ground in front of them was a small Pokémon, only the same height as Pichu because of the red horn protruding from its green skull.

Its body was covered in green scales, but they were slightly furry, unlike the Ekans he had seen early that morning. The underside was a cream fur, and it had four small legs that only seemed long enough to let it crawl along the floor. At the end of its body, there was a small cream tail that looked similar to the end of a swollen thumb.

“Ter?” it asked, looking at Ash with curiosity. This look was all it took for Misty to scream, but Ash ignored her and went straight for his Pokédex, popping it open and pressing the white and largest triangular button on the pad.

“Caterpie,” the tinny voice said, as the light bulb at the top flashed blue, “classified as the worm Pokémon and recognised as a bug-type. Caterpie have a gland in their antenna that releases a pheromone to deter predators. They shed their skin to grow their bodies from birth.”

“Cool.” Ash pulled out one of his empty Pokéballs from his backpack and enlarged it with a click of a button. Closing his Pokédex and putting it back in his jacket pocket, he threw the Pokéball at the small bug-type, aiming for the red antenna. He saw the reflection of the ball getting closer in the Pokémon’s large black eyes, and shook with both excitement and anticipation.

“No, Ash!” Misty shouted from behind him, but he paid no attention to her speaking, as if she weren’t there. His eyes remained focused on the Pokéball closing the distance between it and the Pokémon.

“Ter?”

 

[Dayvad]

Look dude ive liked most of what youv done before this chapter.
I hate saying anything negative but that was full of bad grammer and was just bad, I actually nearly stopped reading it.

But anyway something positive is i like the way you made misty's sisters younger and left an opening for her fear of bug types

Sorry I couldn't be more supportive or give a proper review that could actually help you.
But just keep your chin up and keep going everyone can have an off-chapter.

 

[Torpoleon]

It was pretty good. It does seem cool that Ash will get a Caterpie like in the actual Pokemon anime although since it was a retelling, I would have thought he'd get a Weedle, but Caterpie is fine.

 

[Dayvad]

Ye a weedle would be cool i'd have loved for ash to have a Beedrill at some stage cause its one of my personal favourites but i think his stickin to the story properly maybe then "retelling" might be he doesn't release butterfree or any of his best "FULL" evolutions.
But thats just my opinion
I really don't want you to change how you are going to do things "Iota" because I love originality and to see how other people view how events in the anime should have gone

Please forgive the slightly negative review of the 3rd chapter I'm still gonna continue reading and kinda reviewing (cause I'm probably not that much help with your writing)
GOOD LUCK with chapter 4

 

[DANdotW]

Apologies; I was at my boyfriends for a few days engrossed in Final Fantasy XIII, and haven't had a chance to pop on. Dayvad, I've no problem with the negative review, although I'd have preferred if you could point out some of the grammatical mistakes so I can fix them and improve on it. Glad you're willing to continue giving this a chance.

~~~~

Chapter 4 – The Journey Gets Started

The Pokéball hit Caterpie directly on the bright red antenna and bounced off. About a foot away from the Pokémon’s face, the ball opened from the centre, and four strings of red energy shot out, each wrapping themselves around Caterpie,

As the threads spread around the Pokémon’s body, Ash noticed the bug-type started to change into the same red energy, identical to the energy Pichu became when Ash returned him to his Pokéball. Within seconds, Caterpie was completely converted and dragged into the ball, which promptly closed.

The ball shook, but not with much force. It occurred to Ash the Pokémon must have resigned itself to the capture, and so was not putting up much of a fight. The Pokéball, recognising Ash as the trainer to have thrown it, floated swiftly back towards him as the flashing red light in the button switched off.

“I caught it,” Ash muttered, catching the ball, but not registering his capture. He turned, waiting to be congratulated by Misty, but the redhead walked straight up to him from the tree she had hidden behind and slapped him across the cheek. “What was that for?”

“You really are thick headed, aren’t you!” she shouted at him, stepping closer towards him now that he backed away. “You’re so lucky that you managed to catch that creepy little thing. You’re supposed to weaken a Pokémon before you try to capture it. I know it’s your second day on your journey, but do you need to be such a dolt?”

Ash was offended, and his cheek stung. He didn’t understand why she was having such a go at him; after all, he had caught the Pokémon, whether he had damaged it beforehand or not.

“But I caught it,” he mumbled, confused at his conflicting emotions. He felt ecstatic that he had caught Caterpie, and so easily. However, after Misty’s latest outburst, he felt both guilty and slightly pathetic, as if he was on a quest to prove himself and was failing terribly.

“You need to improve greatly, Ash.”

“I know, but I can’t do it overnight!” he yelled, taking a step forward himself now. “I can only improve by actually being on my journey. You’ve had Pokémon for over a year, so you’ve had enough time. I started yesterday! How am I supposed to be as good as you in two days?”

Misty seemed to agree with his argument, but she instead turned away and carried on walking over the trodden path through the forest. Ash followed her, wishing he could be travelling alone, but knowing he would probably get overexcited by Pokémon and wander off the path, getting himself lost.

The redhead cringed almost every time a bug-type crawled or buzzed past. Each one scurried away much too quickly for Ash to scan them with his Pokédex, but he didn’t mind. He was too deep in thought to bother with them.

Misty had chosen to follow him, even under the pretence of him buying her a new fishing rod, because she had wanted someone to travel through the Viridian Forest with her. That much was clear to him now. He wondered why she was being so hard on him, when she hadn’t really been travelling much herself.

She said she had been a trainer for more than a year, and she only had two Pokémon that he had seen. Staryu was strong, but his new Pichu had defeated her Goldeen, so she couldn’t be that powerful. Perhaps Misty was just jealous that he had caught Caterpie so easily, and was lashing out by calling him incompetent.

They had been walking for almost half an hour in silence, with Misty a few steps ahead of him, when he finally decided to speak to her.

“So what’s it like in Cerulean City?” he asked her, deciding it a good question since he had never been there.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, her voice making it obvious she had been waiting for a conversation to start as well. “The buildings are made of beautiful stone taken from the Cerulean Cave years ago, and the cape has some of the most amazing views. Why did you want to know?”

“There’s a Pokémon Gym there,” he answered, feeling slightly more comfortable now that the normal flow of conversation was back, “so I wondered if you could give me any hints on how strong the leader is.”

“Oh, she’s very strong,” she told him, looking oddly smug, “you can take that from me. She uses water-type Pokémon. You’ll have a hard time defeating her.”

“Do you know the gym leader, Misty?”

“I’ve met her once or twice,” the redhead answered. She stopped suddenly, and Ash looked ahead of her, seeing a small flying-type Pokémon he knew very well. Flocks of Pidgey tended to fly into the shopping square in Pallet Town and eat thrown down Poffin, a type of bread made using berries as flavours.

Regardless of his knowledge about them, Ash pulled out his Pokédex and flipped it open, pressing the white button.

“Pidgey. Classified as the tiny bird Pokémon and recognised as both flying- and a normal types. Pidgey are fairly docile and tend to stay in cities and towns around humans for food. When they are disturbed in the wild, they will ferociously strike back.”

“Do you always need to use that thing?” Misty asked, with a smile on her face. Ash could tell she was teasing him, rather than criticising him again. This made him slightly more confident.

“Come on out, Pichu!” he said, throwing the Pokéball down to the ground. The bright light emerged, but Ash found he was slightly more used to it now. He didn’t have to cover his eyes, and managed to see the light become a form, and shrink down to the size and shape of Pichu.

The black-tipped yellow ears emerged first, and then slowly each part of his body came into existence once more.

“Chu!” he called, smiling as he flung his tail to the side. Pidgey turned to the trainers and Pichu and frowned from under the brown and cream feathers covering its whole body.

“This could turn nasty, Ash,” Misty warned him, seeing the look on Pidgey’s face.

“Gey!” it shouted through its pale orange beak before taking into the sky, flying over to Pichu with a determined look in its eye. Ash noticed that with its wings out of the way, the body alone was the same size of Pichu. However, each wing was almost as long as Pichu, and so with the wings spread wide, Pidgey became much larger than the electric-type.

“Pichu, can you use anything other than Thundershock?” Ash asked, completely ignoring the application on his Pokédex that could discover if the Pokémon had learned any new moves since he had last checked.

“Pi,” he answered, nodding his head. Before Ash had time to order anything, Pichu ran to meet the flying-type, and swung his small paws around repeatedly in the air.

“He can’t hit Pidgey with Double Slap when it’s in the air,” Misty told him, sighing.

“Thundershock could knock Pichu out again, though,” Ash said, trying to think as Pidgey flapped its wings and threw a wave of sand from the floor at the electric-type, hindering his vision.

“Try and reduce Pidgey’s anger with Charm,” Misty suggested, reminding Ash of his lessons with Professor Oak. Some attacks could lower or heighten a Pokémon’s ability to battle. Things such as their strength, how they defended themselves, and slow them down. Charm was an attack that could lower both the Pokémon’s strength, and through that, their ferocity in battle.

“Pichu, try and use Charm!” Ash conceded. Pichu rubbed at his eyes, and then stared at Pidgey until the flying-type made eye contact.

When the contact was made, Pichu smiled a cute smile and winked at the airborne Pokémon. The effect was minimal and as soon as Pichu finished, Pidgey spread its wings wide, flinging several feathers down onto the electric-type.

Pichu ran from side to side, attempting to dodge the teal-glowing feathers. As soon as they touched the ground, however, they stayed standing on their tips, swaying slightly. Pichu became distracted, and paid more attention to them than anyone around it.

“Pichu, what are you doing?” Ash asked, shouting slightly. Pichu didn’t listen to him, and carried on patting each feather, and gasping when they went back into shape.

“Ash, look out!” Misty cried.

Looking up, he saw Pidgey vibrating rapidly, almost blurring in the sky, and then with an amazing display of speed, it shot down to where Pichu was with its teal-glowing wings spread wide. It stopped dead ahead of Pichu, grinning with its eyes at the fact the electric-type didn’t recognise its presence.

“Pichu, use Thundershock!” Ash roared, almost not able to stop himself running forward and grabbing his Pokémon out of the way. His hat fell from his head with the sudden movement, and his chaotic black hair sprang into its usual unkempt shape.

“Pi?” the electric-type asked. He looked up, and just managed to charge some electricity when both of Pidgey’s wings swung inwards, smashing into either side of Pichu. Pidgey pushed itself back with the use of the pale orange talons and attempting to flap through the air while covering in ripples of electricity.

“Yes, you paralyzed him!” Misty called out, smacking Ash on the back. Pichu, however, had been knocked out, and lay on the floor breathing softly.

“Pichu, take a rest.” The electric-type was pulled back into the Pokéball, which promptly sealed up and shrank as Ash pressed the central button. He plucked the second Pokéball from the strip around his waist and threw it onto the ground where Pichu had been, the grass still smoking from the electric attack a few moments before.

Caterpie came from the Pokéball and turned towards Ash and Misty, sizing them both up. He stared at Misty the longest, his eyes glistening with his thoughts, which Ash couldn’t help but wonder of. Pulling out his Pokéball, he attempted to discover the attacks this Caterpie knew.

Reading the list, he noticed Pidgey already coming towards him with its teal-glowing Wing Attack as it had with Pichu.

“Caterpie, use Bug Bite!”

Caterpie nodded, and pushed himself into the air with his tail, causing Wing Attack to miss. When he was completely above the flying-type, Caterpie’s snout seemed to sharpen, and he dropped, jabbing the strangely olive-glowing snout into Pidgey’s back.

There was a cry of pain from Pidgey as Caterpie began to act of his own accord.

Lifting his head up and ramming it back down, Caterpie began to hit Pidgey with a barrage of Tackle attacks, knocking Pidgey out of the air. Smashing into the ground, the flying-type couldn’t prevent Caterpie from hitting it, since one of its wings was trapped under its belly.

“Caterpie, you can stop now!” Ash called out, attempting to stop the bug-type. With no response, he had no choice but to attempt the capture now. Pulling a Pokéball from his backpack, he enlarged it and threw it at Pidgey. When the strings pulled its transparent energy in, Caterpie fell to the floor, shocked.

The ball rocked around viciously, slamming into a tree trunk and back around the floor. Pidgey was refusing to be captured. Caterpie took action, shooting a stream of sticky silk from his snout at the ball, trapping it to the ground, its red light flashing vigorously.

It took almost a minute for the flashing and rocking to stop, and then the light went out. Ash called Caterpie back to his Pokéball, then walked over to the silk-sodden Pokéball and picked it up, shrinking it and sticking it onto his belt next to Caterpie.

“That Caterpie is a bit…mental,” Misty stated, laughing. Ash began to laugh too, and the pair carried on walking down the path, ignoring the singed grass and pile of sticky silk lumped on the floor.

“You should start thinking about type advantages,” the redhead told him as they pushed past a small overgrowth of bushes attempting to block the path.

“How do you mean?” he asked, having learned all about type advantages and disadvantages in the past few years with the Professor.

“Well you had a good match with Pichu against Pidgey,” she began, but Ash hardly listened. Ahead, he saw a pair of trainers in black costumes going through a small bag filled with Pokéballs.

“They’re back!”

 

[DANdotW]

Chapter 5 – Bugging Me

Misty turned her head to follow Ash, and he too saw Jessica and James, the two members of Team Rocket they had seen earlier.

“It’s those twits from earlier!” Jessica shouted, her long violet hair whipping around as she turned her head towards them. James stood up immediately, grabbing a Pokéball off what looked like his own magnetic strip around his belt, and threw it into the pathway they stood in.

“Jessica!” James roared from behind her, standing taller than her by a few inches with a mix of anger and terror on his face. “I told you back at the Pokémon Centre not to get involved with this girl, and the other kid being with her makes it worse!”

“Why do they keep talking about you like that, Misty?” Ash asked the redhead, whispering to the side of her head. She shrugged him off and pulled a shrunken Pokéball from her red bag.

“Now isn’t the time, Ash,” she told him, focusing her attention on the sack full of other trainers Pokéballs, “it’s the time to save those Pokémon. They could easily have been ours, you know.”

“I guess you’re right,” he agreed, smiling slightly as he plucked all three Pokéballs off the magnetic strip around his waist, quickly prodding the buttons. The balls quickly became too big to hold at the same time, so he flung them as far as he could without making it obvious he had dropped them.

With the usual flash of light, Ash heard the chatter of confused Pokémon. Pichu, Pidgey and Caterpie stood on the floor with gradual realisation that a battle would commence.

At first it seemed the brown-feathered flying-type was first to act as he flapped swiftly to take off into the air, but when he looked down, he saw Caterpie was already swiftly shuffling on his stumpy legs towards Jessica’s outstretched Pokéball.

“They’re provoking me, James!” she whined to the boy, as if this was an argument they had been through before.

“Very well,” James agreed, pulling two Pokéballs from his waist and throwing them towards Caterpie, which Jessica copied with her one.

The first Pokémon to come out struck Ash as the one who had attacked Pichu from through the smoke at the Pokémon Centre, and had a round, lumpy body. The lumps were secreting small amounts of deep green smoke that dissipated into the air around it.

The second landed on the floor with a thud. Ash looked at it with contempt, but couldn’t hold it for long after looking at its face properly. The Pokémon had yellow skin, thick pink lips at the bottom of its bodiless head, and a thick green leaf at either side. At the top of its head was what looked like a plant’s stem, and its large eyes showed an attitude that couldn’t care less what was going on around it.

The third Pokémon was Ekans, its body flicking and waving around in agitation.

“Caterpie, use Tackle!” Ash shouted to his Pokémon, who was already closer to Team Rocket than he was to Ash and Misty.

Pidgey flapped slowly, but began lowering in the air, coming closer to the ground. Pichu was breathing deeply before he had even been told to do anything.

“Ekans, use Poison Sting!” Jessica called, pointing in Pichu’s direction rather than Caterpie’s. The serpent slithered forward, much faster than Caterpie was moving.

“Koffing, use Sludge! Weepinbell, get over there and hit Pidgey with Cut!” James ordered. The airborne poison-type expelled gas from some of the orifices at its rear end to move quickly to Caterpie, while the yellow Pokémon bounced in Ash’s direction.

“Staryu, Goldeen, get out here and help us!” Misty yelled, throwing two Pokéballs now that she had pulled another from her small bag. Both of her Pokémon emerged from the Pokéballs ready to battle, and Staryu was already spinning towards Koffing. “Use Rapid Spin, Staryu! Goldeen, stop Weepinbell with a Peck attack!”

Ash decided now was as good a time as any to check the new Pokémon off on his Pokédex.

“Pichu, use Double Slap on Ekans! Pidgey, you should use Wing Attack on Weepinbell!” he ordered, giving himself time to check the device while his Pokémon attacked. He pulled it from his pocket and flipped the cover, pressing the scanning button whilst he aimed it at Ekans.

“Ekans,” it replied to him in its usual tinny voice, “classified as the poison serpent Pokémon and recognised as a poison-type. They have an innate ability to sneak through tall grass with little to no sound before striking any unsuspecting prey from behind.”

He moved it to Koffing, who spat a thick stream of purple-brown slime at an oncoming Staryu, who was spinning faster than his mothers washing machine had done.

“Koffing; classified as the poison gas Pokémon and recognised as a poison-type. The gases in their bodies are lighter than oxygen, which keeps them airborne and can also be used as propulsion tools. These gases have a distinct aroma that is frequently used in explosives.”

“Staryu,” it continued before he had even pressed the button, and when he looked up he saw Misty’s Pokémon had splashed through the Sludge attack to strike with its own, “classified as the star-shaped Pokémon and recognised as a water-type. If any parts of its body become damaged, Staryu can shed their limbs and grow back the long arms stretching from their bodies. In the wild, they are commonly found covered in stardust, or holding the elusive Star Piece.”

One more, Ash though as he aimed the light at Weepinbell, who had made considerable progress on his way over, but was being knocked around by the pale blue-glowing horn and wings of Goldeen and Pidgey respectively, flailing around the white-glowing tips of its leaves aimlessly.

“Weepinbell; classified as the insect catcher Pokémon and recognised as both a grass-type and as a poison-type. It is the evolved form of Bellsprout. In the wild, Weepinbell disperse toxic powders with varying effects to both attract and hinder unwary prey. They can appear to amateur trainers as normal plants when they wish.”

All three of their Pokémon were of the poison-type, which made Ash ponder slightly. He had no time to think now, though, as Jessica had already ordered Ekans to use Wrap on Pichu before he had a chance to use Double Slap.

“Pichu, use a small amount of electricity for your Thundershock so it doesn’t hurt you!” Ash ordered, before turning his gaze to Caterpie and Pidgey’s progress. Pidgey was on the ground, panting, staring on as Goldeen was whipped by a long green stream of energy that had extended from the stem atop Weepinbell’s head.

Caterpie was crumpled on the floor underneath Koffing, who was using Tackle to pound down on the floor while Staryu lay slumped against a tree trunk with its red gem flashing.

“Caterpie, use String Shot!” Ash ordered, before turning back to Pidgey. “Pidgey, help out Goldeen with your Featherdance!”

“Goldeen, get behind Weepinbell and use Supersonic!” Misty shouted. Goldeen used a fin to move out of the way of a whip and to Weepinbell’s rear, thrusting its horn forward slightly and causing a ripple in the air that made Weepinbell cringe.

Pidgey opened his wings wide and released several teal-glowing feathers that flew into Weepinbell’s face. The feathers met the ripples of Supersonic and began pulsating in the air, twisting in and out one another.

“Now, Goldeen, use Horn Drill!”

The horn on Goldeen’s head began to twist from the bottom, until the whole horn was spinning uncontrollably. The water-type pushed it into Weepinbell, who let out a cry of pain before collapsing on the floor, unconscious.

“Damn!” James roared, recalling Weepinbell to the Pokéball in an instant. “Koffing, get over there and use Smokescreen!”

“Ekans, get that paralysis off and use Bite on Pichu!” Jessica ordered. When he looked, Ash saw that there was a small ripple of static electricity flowing over the serpent’s long body. Pichu seemed not hurt at all. Ekans began to lose small layers of electrified skin, until the static was only on the ground and nowhere near the poison-type itself.

With a stretch of its wide jaw, and small flickers of black energy sparking off Ekans’ fangs, the poison-type bit into Pichu, causing the electric-type to cry out to Ash.

“Return, Pichu!” he called, pulling Pichu back into his Pokéball. Misty did the same with Staryu, who hadn’t yet managed to get up.

A thick layer of deep green fog had spread past their eyes, and they heard shuffling of feet and trees.

“Ash, Pidgey should be able to blow it away!” Misty called over to him, struggling to keep her eyes open. He found his own eyes were also stringing and struggled to think quickly.

“Pidgey, can you use any attack that will blow this away?” he asked his flying-type. The feathered Pidgey nodded, opening his beak as he flapped slowly into the air, clearly working hard to get airborne. With a few strong flaps of his wings, a powerful wind blew from where he stayed in the air, blowing the smoke away.

When it cleared, which happened quickly with the Whirlwind Pidgey had produced, the two noticed Team Rocket had gone, and so had the sack of Pokéballs.

“We failed,” Ash moaned, falling to his knees in exhaustion.

“We didn’t,” Misty informed him, picking her bag up and recalling Goldeen now that the battle was over. “We showed them trainers are standing up. It’s what everyone should be doing. The more Team Rocket knows people won’t let them steal Pokémon without a fight, the quicker they can be stopped.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he agreed, pulling Pidgey back into the Pokéball and walking closer to Caterpie. When he looked, he saw Caterpie was covered in its own string, lying on the floor. He brushed it off before he picked the bug-type up, but when he did he found it was not his Pokémon.

He held a large green Pokémon with thick, rough skin and two large protrusions at the side of its body. Its body was more bulbous at the front, where he suspected was the mouth. Its tail-like bottom end looked like it had plates over more delicate parts for protection.

“Meh!” it called, nothing moving but its large black eyes. Instinctively, Ash pointed the Pokédex he still held in his hand at it and pressed the scanning button.

“Metapod; classified as the cocoon Pokémon and recognised as a bug-type. It is the evolved form of Caterpie. Metapod have a shell harder than steel protecting them and quietly endure the hardships of their lack of movement while they await the next stage in their evolution.”

“This is Caterpie?” Ash asked, looking dumbfound. “I never even thought about evolution at all.”

“Well your Pokémon are going to evolve,” Misty told him, keeping a distance between the two and shuddering where she stood.

“I know, but I would at least have like to see it happen,” he replied, seeing her being uncomfortable and pulling Caterpie’s Pokéball from his waist and raising it to the new Pokémon’s face. “I’m really proud of you, uh, Metapod. Return to the Pokéball.”

The red strings of energy wrapped themselves around Metapod before converting them into the same energy for easy storing. Ash felt a strange relief as Metapod was removed from his arms. He looked at the image on his Pokédex screen.

He hadn’t thought about any of his Pokémon evolving once since he had left home. Professor Oak had taught the subject to him, quite thoroughly, but it had shocked him it had happened so soon and without any notice from him.

“I’m going to make sure I see the next evolution one of you have,” he whispered into Metapod’s Pokéball before shrinking it once more and clipping it neatly onto his magnetic belt-strip. He turned to look at Misty, but she had already begun moving along.

“Before you ask, I’ve met those two before,” she told him, anticipating him asking about her involvement with Jessica and James, which he was intending to. “Me and my mother ran into them on our way back from the Seafoam Islands and battled them.”

“Was your dad looking after your sisters?” Ash asked her, intrigued by her trip much more, but concentrating on her life first.

“No, they can take care of themselves,” she said, rather scornfully. “My father left after I was born.”

“My father did the same,” Ash admitted, before realising something she had said. “What about their father?”

“What do you…oh!” she stopped dead, looking rather fearful. “I meant to say he left after my littlest sister was born.” She laughed nervously, although Ash couldn’t figure out what why she was.

“How was your trip to the Seafoam Islands, anyway?” he asked.

“It was pretty good…argh!” Ash looked in her directed to see that a group of Caterpie had dropped from the tree around her, held up by lengths of string. He chuckled at her fear, which earned him a hard punch on the shoulder. “Can we get out of here?” she roared, small amounts of tears in her eyes.

 

[DANdotW]

Chapter 6 – Samurai

Ash waited quietly, peeking around the bushes at the small Pokémon. At a similar size to that of a Caterpie, Weedle was small but dangerous. It had tan-coloured fur over the small round sections of its body, with a sharp barb at the end.

Sharper still was the long horn above its thick brown nose. Ash had already discovered information on it with his Pokédex, which had given his secret away, and the Weedle had scurried away, hiding from him. Now he had found it.

“You ready, Pidgey?” he quietly asked the feathered Pokémon crouching next to him, clicking its beak. The flying-type nodded quickly, opening his wings wide and taking off into the air. “Use Wing Attack!”

“Piiiiidge!” the brown-feathered Pokémon shouted, soaring down quicker and quicker with his teal-glowing wings outstretched.

The Weedle jumped at the sound and began to crawl as quickly as it could to get away, but Pidgey was faster. Reaching it, Pidgey swung one wing around, knocking the bug-type into a tree. Ash quietly cheered himself, remembering that Misty had decided not to follow the Weedle due to her fear of bug-types and changed her mind about his company.

She was on her way to leave by herself, and he was alone, attempting to capture a Weedle.

The Weedle turned and launched several tiny purple barbs at Pidgey from the horns on its head.

“Pidgey, use Featherdance to knock them away!” Ash ordered, now standing up and no longer hiding himself.

Pidgey stretched his wings wide again, this time scattering teal-glowing feathers down from them and onto Weedle’s Poison Sting. The two attacks crashed into each other, with the barbs snapping in two and the feathers breaking apart.

“Use Whirlwind now, Pidgey!” Ash called.

Pidgey obeyed straight away, flapping his wings at a great speed, throwing winds around the thick forest they were still in. The trees were swaying and Ash heard the thud and moan of a Pokémon falling from inside the branches a little distance away.

Weedle was knocked into a tree trunk again, and it fell to the ground, struggling to lift itself up on its small body.

Ash had an empty Pokéball in hand ready for the right moment, and he threw it. It knocked on the horn on top of Weedle’s head and opened up, dragging it inside and sealing. The button flashed red vigorously as it rocked from side to side.

“Come on,” Ash muttered, watching in anticipation at the possibility of a new Pokémon. There came an echoing cry from inside the ball, and it opened in a flash of white to reveal an angered Weedle emerging, uncaught.

***

Misty walked further and further into the thick forest, not daring to look behind her as she heard the scuttling of various bug-type Pokémon. She was still red in the face from the argument with Ash she had gone through only thirty minutes ago.

Ash had noticed a wild Weedle, another bug-type he knew Misty loathed so much. It had been years since her mishap, but she still remembered it every time she looked at any bug-type Pokémon.

When she was seven years old, her mother had taken her to the Safari Zone in Fuchsia City as a reward for helping clean their home. Once inside, Misty ran off alone as the other children there had done. It was a special day in there for future trainers to travel around looking at the Pokémon.

Misty’s mother had intended for her to have a choice of many different typed Pokémon as her own mother had when she had been a child. Regardless of the experience, Misty had followed in her mother’s footsteps and fallen in love with water-type Pokémon.

In any case, she had been put off bug-type Pokémon for life on that day, when a swarm of Beedrill had viciously attacked the group of children after one of them had disturbed their nest in one of the large trees at the park.

With their sharp spear-like arms and tails, they had injured a few of the children in the small group, putting an end to the open day at the Safari Zone, and also putting the fear of the entire type of Pokémon in Misty for life.

When she had seen Caterpie, she had forced herself not to crumble to the floor behind Ash, and when he had insisted on holding it so close to her after it evolved into Metapod, she nearly cried. Her skin crawled when she was around them. Ash knew that by now, whether they had been travelling together for a year or just over a day.

Then they had come across the Weedle, getting Ash excited again. He had attempted to go all out and capture it, but failed when it coated his Pokéball with a String Shot. Ash hadn’t been put off by it, though. He cleaned the String Shot off in a matter of seconds and insisted they follow the Pokémon.

This put her over the edge.

She shouted at him about his inconsideration for her fear of the specific type of Pokémon, but he had tried to convince her that it was a good idea to follow the Pokémon. She decided it was more effort to travel with him than alone.

“I should have stayed with mom,” she muttered to herself, wishing she hadn’t insisted that she stay on the grassy route between Pallet Town and Viridian City to fish. Her mother was supportive, telling Misty she could probably use a new Pokémon with less experience than Staryu or Goldeen.

Her Pokémon had been with her through too much for her fears of bug-types to stop her using them. Staryu was a gift from her mother on her tenth birthday as a starter Pokémon. She had said it had taken all of her contacts and a few favours she had owing to her to get a suitable Pokémon for her.

Staryu didn’t really speak to her much, and hadn’t over the whole year they had been together, but having it around made her feel happier. Since Staryu as a species had no official gender, Misty had always called it an ‘it’. It didn’t seem to mind.

Goldeen had been caught about a month after she had signed up for her trainer licence. Misty used her fishing rod, now lost, to pull it from a fishing net the water-type had been caught in. Goldeen had been forever grateful, and since her capture had improved her skills at most of the attacks she knew.

She tended to be a little vain, occasionally fluttering her fins about when it was entirely unnecessary for her to do so, but Misty loved that trait. It made Goldeen more attractive to her, not that anything could make her loathe a water-type.

Misty turned her head to the sound of a loud shout further behind her in the forest, but decided to think nothing of it. When she turned back to her choice of direction, an obstacle was near her face.

It had a huge brown body, scaled and sectioned off into different layers of thickness. At the end of its thick legs and thin, toned arms were sharp claws. The Pokémon had two sets of jaws, each vertical rather than the horizontal norm, and its eyes deep black and filled with anger.

She looked up slightly at the huge horns on its head. They were each as long as one of Misty’s arms, and jagged and covered with protruding spikes. In overall height, it was slightly taller than Misty, when including the horns.

“Piiiiiin!” it shouted, spitting from its mouth slightly as it roared. Misty trembled in fear. She knew this was a bug-type, but it was fearsome enough without the stigma she had given the type.

“Pinsir, calm down,” a male voice called from behind the blockage, “she’s not the one we’re looking for.”

The Pokémon backed away, moving awkwardly as it did. She could tell the Pinsir was ready to attack, and had trouble stepping back as it had been ordered.

“Excuse me, miss,” the polite voice said, coming from somewhere Misty couldn’t see as she stared at the grassy floor, still covered in a cold sweat. She regretted now wearing small blue hot pants and a matching bikini top, as they covered none of her now-glistening skin. “Have you by any chance met a trainer by the name of Ash Ketchum?”

It took a while for Misty to register what the man had said, but she looked around for his face after a moment. The boy was much shorter than her and was wearing a white vest with a pair of baggy shorts. His head was bald, although Misty could see the remains of brown hair beginning to grow.

“I…I mean,” was all she could muster as she acclimatised herself to the presence of Pinsir. “Could you return that for a second, please?”

The boy seemed to realise her problem and lifted his hand, already holding a Pokéball, and recalled the creature inside.

“I apologise,” he said to her, looking up to make eye contact with her, “I see now that my Pokémon has frightened you. Could I trouble you for an answer to my question?”

Misty regained her composure and reverted to a cocky face.

“Yeah, I’ve seen him,” she retorted, scrunching her nose slightly, “and he owes me a fishing rod. The kids back there about thirty minutes. You’ll probably find him obsessing over bug-type Pokémon.”

“Excellent,” the boy said, nodding. “Thank you for your help.”

Before Misty could ask anything else, he set to running in the direction she had pointed, although she saw he took a different path to the one she had come. She saw he still held Pinsir’s Pokéball in his hand, enlarged and ready to throw as if it were a weapon.

A sense of worry came over her, and for a moment she felt guilty about having given away his location. She quickly came to her senses, remembering the boy’s politeness. The Pokéball and the Pokémon were still locked in her brain, however, which began causing her more and more worry.

“Stupid Ash!” she shouted, before turning back to the direction she had come and running. She had to get there before the small trainer.

***

“Wee!” the small Pokémon cried as it spewed more string at Pidgey. Ash was losing his patience quickly.

He had thrown the Pokéball in his hands three times at the same Weedle in total, and each time it had fought its way out. Now, as his flying-type swerved in midair to dodge the ever-changing barrage of String Shot and Poison Sting, he decided to switch tactics.

“Pichu, come on out!”

He threw the Pokéball Professor Oak had given him behind Weedle, who was too busy attacking Pidgey to notice. The yellow-furred electric-type emerged from the Pokéball with a smile and a loud cry, forcing Weedle’s attention on himself.

“Pichu, use the small Thundershock you used earlier today!” Ash yelled, running to the other side of the bushes he still stood behind. Pichu nodded, this time quicker on the draw. Ash saw small sparks running along the red fur on his cheeks, flickering on and off the strands of hair.

Pichu placed both of his stubby paws on the sacs and collected the electricity in the digits. Spreading his arms wide in a similar way to Pidgey’s Featherdance attack, Pichu sent the electricity spreading out in a curving arc, which drew back in to surround Weedle.

Weedle didn’t seem in any pain at first, but then it cried out loudly, and Ash saw the same sparks that had surrounded Pidgey when he had first captured him; Weedle was paralysed.

“Pidgey, head in for a Wing Attack!”

“Pinsir, get in there and use Protect!” a voice shouted out from the trees behind him. A Pokéball flew past his ear and into the area of battle, opening up with a loud noise. The light quickly formed into a large two-legged Pokémon with thick brown skin. Ash’s eyes went straight to the two large horns on its head and the razor-sharp vertical fangs that were slashing away at the air.

Quicker than Pidgey could make it down to the ground, Pinsir was standing in front of Weedle in a defensive pose. A green sphere of green energy had surrounded the two, and Pidgey’s teal-glowing wings made no change to its power.

“I enjoyed seeing your Thunder Wave,” the voice from behind said, getting closer now, “but you have no need to capture this Weedle anymore. You have more important matters.”

“Oh yeah?” Ash yelled, turning to see a small trainer with a worn white vest and brown shorts standing behind him, holding the Pokéball that had sprang back from Pinsir. “What’s that then?”

The boy pulled a second Pokéball from the large-looking pockets in his shorts and chuckled.

“You’re going to be battling me.”

Ash was too shocked by his arrival and proposition to say anything back to him other than a grunt.

“Three trainers have passed through this way so far,” the bald boy told him, walking to stand next to him, watching a confused Weedle slip away through the bushes while Pidgey and Pichu stared Pinsir down, “and three of them have agreed to a battle.

“Their names were Gareth Oak, Bluebell Periwinkle and Redford Blair. Each of them was from Pallet Town, and each of them gave me an excellent battle. Each of them also told me of the remaining trainers in the beginning quartet. The final trainer is you.”

“So?” Ash asked, wondering why it meant he had to get in his first official trainer battle.

“To finish my training and leave this forest, I have vowed to wait for you, the last trainer from Pallet Town, and battle you. Only then can I continue my journey.”

“Fine!” Ash roared, running over so that there was a far enough distance. “Then I, Ash Ketchum accept your challenge. Who are you, anyway?”

“My name is Samurai.” He looked at his Pinsir and nodded. With a swift glance at Pidgey and Pichu, it walked back over to its trainer. “I make it a two-on-two battle. How does that sound?”

“Fine by me,” Ash muttered, pulling Pichu’s Pokéball back off his belt and recalling him. “I choose Pidgey first!”

“And I’ll choose Pinsir,” Samurai said, waving his hand to the large Pokémon next to him. “Pinsir, use…”

“Ash, where are you?” Misty’s voice screamed through tree and bush, finding Ash’s ears with a sharp boom. She sounded close by.

“Follow my voice, Misty!” he called. In a matter of seconds, he saw her head pop out of a thick hedge, looking in his direction.

“I found you!” she called, running to him with a shocking speed. “There’s a little guy somewhere in the forest trying to find you. He knows your name, but I didn’t get a chance to ask him why he wanted you. I just had to come and warn you. He has a Pinsir.”

“I wonder what I can find out about that,” he muttered, pulling his Pokédex out of his jacket Pocket and aiming it at Samurai’s Pinsir. As he pressed the button, Misty turned slowly to face Samurai with a dreaded realisation.

“Pinsir; classified as the hard horn Pokémon and recognised as a bug-type. The use their pincers to snap tree’s in half, eating the pulp and drinking the sap until there is nothing left. The parts of a tree that get in their way are usually thrown far enough away to not cause an inconvenience.”

“That’s him, Ash!” Misty shouted, pointing.

“I know,” Ash told her, sighing, “now get out of the way. Pidgey, use Featherdance!”

Pidgey already had a grudge against Pinsir for blocking Weedle off, so he obeyed immediately. Within seconds, a shower of teal-glowing feathers was spiralling down on the bug-type.

“Pinsir, stay where you are and use Protect!” Samurai shouted, swinging his arm around him in the shape of a bubble. The feathers closed the distance between the two Pokémon and as they got near, Pinsir took action.

In the blink of an eye, it pushed its small arms forward, creating a dome of green energy around its body. The feathers touched the shield and disintegrated into nothing.

“Now, Pinsir, jump up there and use Vice Grip!” the small trainer ordered, swinging both of his arms above his head to meet in the middle. Pinsir’s thick legs flexed as it ran towards Pidgey with enough force to rise into the air.

“Pidgey, use Wing Attack!” Ash called out, seeing Pinsir almost on in front of his Pokémon. Pidgey just managed to have time to charge the teal-coloured energy in his wings before Pinsir clamped the spiked horns around its body.

Ash heard the crunching noise the attack made, as it someone was smashing into concrete. Pidgey flailed, smacking his wings into Pinsir’s body in an attempt to stop the attack, but his wings had lost all of their energy.

Pinsir let go of the flying-type and landed perfectly on the grassy ground, while Pidgey came down the clearing with a crash, knocking chunks of dirt away with the impact.

“No! Are you alright, Pidgey?” Ash asked, running to his Pokémon with concern in his voice. He lifted Pidgey’s small feathered head with one of his hands, rousing it from its exhausted slumber. It managed a small coo before falling back into unconsciousness.

“Choose your next Pokémon,” Samurai said, not bothered in the slightest about Ash’s worry. Ash pulled Pidgey back into his Pokéball. With a swift wipe of his finger under his eye, he pulled Metapod’s Pokéball from his waist and threw it next to Pinsir.

“Meh!” the green bug-type called, only capable of moving his eyes towards the much larger Pokémon.

“Pinsir, use Vice Grip once more!” Samurai ordered loudly, but with a calm voice, making the same arm motions as before. Pinsir bent and scooped Metapod up from the ground, bringing its horns together again, this time with each of the small spikes glowing white.

“Metapod, use Harden!” Ash shouted, remembering instructions from Professor Oak about Metapod and Kakuna’s capabilities to harden their shells for protection.

For one swift second, a flash of white energy ran down Metapod’s small body. Pinsir showed signs of struggle. The energy on the spikes of its horns began to smoke, and Samurai showed concern miming that of Pinsir.

“Pinsir, turn that into a Vital Throw!” he shouted, thrusting his palm downwards from above his head. Pinsir obeyed, jumping into the air a few feet and flinging Metapod down to the ground with his now brown-glowing horns.

There was a wave of dust and wind from the impact area where Metapod hit. Ash was worried for a moment, but he saw Metapod lying in the grass, his eyes filled with anger.

“You’re doing great, Metapod!” Ash called, smiling as he did. Samurai obviously didn’t agree.

“That isn’t great at all! Your Metapod was just lucky!” The small trainer switched his attention to his own Pokémon. “Pinsir, you destroyed that Charmander with your Submission! Try it on Metapod!”

Pinsir didn’t need to look at Samurai’s demonstration of the attack this time. An orange-brown aura appeared around his body and he raced at Metapod.

“Metapod, use Harden again!” Ash shouted. Metapod seemed to be obeying, but instead of the almost invisible flash of white, his body gained what looked to Ash like a silver outline. Pinsir made contact, and for a few seconds there was a power struggle.

Pinsir wanted to move forward, damaging Metapod, but the smaller bug-type refused to move, as if weighed down by a tonne of metal. There was an explosion. Ash couldn’t see Samurai, let alone the Pokémon anymore. He heard Misty breathing heavily behind him, which caused him to worry more.

The smoke from the blast cleared, leaving Pinsir unconscious on the floor. Metapod still lay in the same spot, still coated in the silvery outline.

“Return, Pinsir.” Samurai dragged the Pokémon back into its Pokéball, seemingly angry. “Once again you persevere with luck. If it wasn’t for the damage Submission already caused Pinsir, or the fact that your Pokémon used Iron Defence of its own accord, you’d have been done for. Now it’s time for me to show you the real power of a Metapod! Come on out!”

He threw another Pokéball into the area that was already beaten up by the battle. Two trees had been knocked over by the explosion.

The Pokéball opened, and a Metapod came out, identical to Ash’s own. Samurai immediately took action without waiting.

“Metapod, use Tackle!” he ordered.

“Tackle?” Ash asked, shocked. Metapod were meant to forget their previous moves in exchange for Harden when they evolved, needing to relearn them later on. This meant Samurai’s must have been a Metapod for a while.

Metapod purposely fell onto the floor, using the top of its body as a tool to flip it up, sending it spinning across the battle field. Ash’s Metapod was still letting the Iron Defence wear off, and so had no time to defend. One smash of the bug-type’s body into Ash’s own Pokémon’s body caused Metapod to faint from exhaustion.

Ash had lost.

“Well done, Metapod,” Ash said, pulling the bug-type back into his Pokéball, “you did a really good job.”

“Pretty good for your first battle, Ash,” Misty assured him, patting him on the back with a sombre smile.

“Your Metapod could do with some training, Ash Ketchum,” Samurai said, recalling his own Metapod. “The battles with Gareth, Bluebell and Redford were much more interesting. I almost thought I would lose against them. You’d be surprised how hard it can be to defeat a combination of Squirtle and Rattata.”

“Who has Squirtle?” Ash asked, but Samurai ignored him.

“I’m disappointed. I thought you’d put up a better fight. If I meet you in the Pokémon League, I know I’ll have an easy match. Good day, Ash. Good day to you, miss.”

He left through a gap in the fallen trees. The forest seemed darker than it had been before. Ash decided it would be a good time to send all three of his Pokémon out and thank them for a hard day’s work.

“Come on out, guys!” He called, throwing all three Pokéballs into the clearing. Pidgey came out sleeping, while Pichu came out smiling. Metapod was nowhere to be seen. “I’ve missed it again?”

The third Pokémon that emerged was much bigger. With a small blue furred body and large wings, each the size of Pidgey’s wingspan, an airborne Pokémon fluttered around the sky.

“Butterfree,” the Pokédex said in its computerized voice when Ash pulled it out and clicked the scanning button, “classified as the fluttering Pokémon and recognised as both a bug-type and a flying-type. Most Butterfree love pollen from any plants and can use their antenna to locate their favourites.”

Ash saw it flutter over to him, staring at the Pokédex with its large red eyes. In a split second, he grabbed the device with his small purple hands, landing on his purple feet and pressing buttons on it. Ash snatched it up with a smile on his face.

“Looks like Metapod evolved after that battle,” Misty commented, not seeming too agitated by Butterfree as a bug-type. “He’s actually kind of cute now.” Ash laughed, letting Butterfree land on his head and tickle his face with its antenna.

“Let’s camp here for the night,” Ash suggested, seeing the night looming above the trees, “then we can get out of here first thing in the morning.”

 

[DANdotW]

Chapter 7 – Battle For The Boulder Badge

“Finally!” Misty cheered as they left the final narrow tunnel of tree that was the exit of the Viridian Forest. Since his battle with Samurai, the pair had been forced to camp out in the forest twice, making this the fourth day of Ash’s journey.

He was anxious to get into the city that lay this side of the Viridian Forest. Pewter City was one of the first places he needed to be on his journey. Here, he could sign himself up for the Pokémon League and battle for his very first badge.

Misty had refused to tell him anything about the first gym leader, although she still spoke very highly of the gym leader in Cerulean City.

“This place is really…dim,” Ash said, looking at the buildings. They were all made of a thick grey stone, with little to no decoration, making the town extremely plain looking.

“It’s nice enough for the people who live here, I guess,” she commented, stretching her limbs as if she had been sitting down for a while. “I’m never going in that forest again, I swear.”

Ash took no notice, immediately scanning the town for the building he knew to be there. Even in a city with buildings matching in style, Ash discovered the Gym easily. Near the back, surrounded by a large group of mountains, the gym was shaped like a boulder.

The doorway consisted of a hollowed out archway with two long stone pillars, which were weighed down by a stone of similar size placed horizontally. Above this was a sign, simply stating ‘Gym’.

“I guess you’re headed there as soon as, right?” Misty asked, not needing to wait for the answer. “You should head to the Pokémon Centre first.”

He agreed. The Pokémon Centre was also easily recognisable in the valley-like town, being topped off with a bright red roof, as was the conformity for all official Pokémon Centres. They headed there at a swift pace, making sure to dodge the unusually large amount of hikers along the way.

“Why are there so many people here with hiking equipment?” Ash asked Misty as they waited at a table for their Pokémon to be healed. Misty grunted.

“We’re close to Mt. Moon,” she told him, in a voice that told him he should already know. “People trek up there to train their bodies and their Pokémon. It’s got an amazing view to Cerulean City. We’ll have to go that way to get there, anyway.”

“Do you think it will take long to get through?” Ash asked, stabbing the oran-berry pie on his plate. Misty nodded, but didn’t take any time to explain better. “Are you sure you don’t know anything about the gym leader here?”

“I’m sure I’m not going to give you an advantage over other trainers,” she remarked, taking a bite out of the sitrus berry-flavoured health bar she had bought from the counter.

The joyful tune played from the speaker at the edge of the table, letting them know their five Pokémon were ready to be collected.

“That was really fast,” Ash said, complimenting the nurse behind the counter, who was too busy staring at Misty.

“I suppose they just needed a rest,” the redhead decided, ignoring his stares and turning away, leaving the building with Ash. Outside, they felt the cold wind of the town. Ash felt like it was blowing through his bones.

“It’s cold here,” he said to Misty, who was shivering in her two-piece bikini.

“Can we just get to the gym as soon as possible,” she grunted, holding her arms close to her chest and crouching as she walked in the direction of the boulder-like building at the back of the town.

***

“I’m here to challenge the gym leader!” Ash called out as he entered the main battlefield in the gym. It hadn’t been hard to find; the gym only had a few rooms coming off from the main corridor.

The battlefield looked nothing like the one Ash had seen in the league battle he watched the night before his journey began. The floor looked identical to the ground of a cave, complete with jutting pillars of stone and various sized boulders.

“What’s your name?” asked a man, speaking as soon as the door he came through began to open. As he came out, Ash saw the man properly. He wore a baggy t-shirt, which was completely light blue apart from the Pokéball design under his left shoulder. He also wore a pair of black shorts and matching shoes.

“I’m Ash Ketchum, and I’m from Pallet Town,” Ash answered, smiling confidently. He had already decided that his training in the Viridian Forest had made him strong enough to defeat the leader.

“You’re the green flag, okay?” the man asked, showing a pair of flags, one red, and one green. Ash nodded, and stood in the box-shaped stand at the edge, encased by three stone walls coming to his waist. “Are you challenging the leader as well?”

Ash looked over to see the man was talking to Misty, who was busy finding a stone bench along the side wall to sit down on.

“I’m just travelling with him to Cerulean City,” she commented, not attempting to make contact with the referee.

“Very well then,” the man said, taking his place at the edge of the battlefield to Ash’s right. “Challenger!” He called towards the still open door. There was a rustle and lots of thudding before another man came through the door.

This man had much darker skin than Ash and Misty, and even the referee, who had at first seemed to Ash to have a skin a shade darker. From what Ash saw as he walked to his own side of the battlefield, he wore a pair of green trousers and an orange sweatshirt. He wore a dark grey vest underneath the sweatshirt.

“How many badges do you have so far?” he asked, while Ash was having difficulty making out his hair colour.

“None at the moment,” Ash admitted, shifting his weight onto his left foot. He heard Misty chuckle from her place at the wall and tried to ignore her.

“Must be the fourth new trainer in the past few days,” Ash heard the trainer muttering to himself before he spoke louder. “Do you have more than one Pokémon?”

“I have three,” Ash answered, moving his fingers over the three shrunken Pokéballs attached to his magnetic strip.

“Then let’s start.”

“This is an official gym battle between the gym leader Brock Harrison and the challenger Ash Ketchum,” the referee called out, holding both the green and red flags up in the air. “It will be a two on two battle! The challenger may switch Pokémon, but the gym leader cannot.”

Both trainers nodded in agreement, but Ash already had the Pokéball he wished to use in his hand, enlarged and ready to throw.

“Begin!”

“Come on out, Geodude!” Brock called, throwing a Pokéball of a different colour to the normal kind. When Ash saw it hit the ground and open up, he noticed the top half was blue and sported most of a red ring around it, with a gap at the front.

The Pokémon the oddly coloured Pokéball left behind looked similar to a small boulder, and for a moment, Ash couldn’t find it properly on the rocky battlefield. Then the Geodude stretched out its long rocky arms, which were lean and muscular.

“Gee! Geodude!” the Pokémon shouted, opening its eyes and flashing a stone-filled grin at Ash. Without even thinking, Ash pulled out his Pokédex and heard Misty sigh to his right.

“Geodude,” the Pokédex spoke, “classified as the rock Pokémon and recognised as both a rock-type and a ground-type. When at rest, Geodude are indistinguishable from normal boulders and will swing their arms around wildly if stepped upon. When more than one of these meet, they will smash into each other as a test of power and endurance.”

“This had better work,” Ash mumbled, lifting the hand holding Butterfree’s Pokéball. “Come on out, Butterfree!” Butterfree emerged from the bright light fluttering his wings and circling the space over Ash’s head.

“Geodude, show that bug-type what you’re made of! Use Rock Smash on the ground!” Brock ordered. Geodude nodded with an identical grin on his stony face. His right hand balled up into a fist looking like a giant stone, and it began to glow with a faded brown energy.

“Butterfree, you don’t need to do anything for now,” Ash told his Pokémon with a carefree voice. “Just watch what he does.”

Geodude swung his hand around, smashing it into the stony floor. Shards of stone were sent speeding at Ash’s end of the battlefield, spraying Butterfree and Ash with their sharp points. Ash covered his eyes with his arm to block them from his face.

When he moved it, he saw Butterfree standing on the rocky floor with his blue feet and breathing heavily. Geodude had stopped Butterfree from properly defending himself with his attack.

“Now, Geodude hit it with a Tackle!” Brock ordered, his whole body leaning slightly forward, as if he were ready to fall over.

The rock-type ran forward, using its strong hands as feet.

“Quick, Butterfree, stop him in his tracks with String Shot!” Ash called out, hoping his Pokémon still knew the attack. Butterfree proved him right, sending a long sticky stream of silk across the battlefield at the oncoming Pokémon. The silk managed to stick Geodude’s hands to the rocky floor, tripping it up so that its face hit the floor.

“Geodude, are you okay?” Brock asked, almost stepping out of his marked box.

“Geeeo!” the Pokémon called, pulling at the sticky restraints. Butterfree chuckled, fluttering over the Pokémon’s head and dropping down towards it.

“Free-eeee-eee!” he chuckled, and his big eyes began to glow an eerie pink.

“What’s happening?” Ash asked himself out loud, seeing Misty and the referee stare it him as the same pink aura appeared around the stuck Geodude, and the rock-type began to levitate in the air. The aura became thinner and thinner until only a small lining of pink energy surrounded the Pokémon, while Butterfree still muttered under his breath over and over again, obviously concentrating.

“Gee!” the gym leader’s Pokémon cried, feeling pain from the attack. Butterfree quickly lost focus and the Geodude dropped to the floor with a crash. When he got up, Geodude’s eyes were filled with the same pink energy.

“Geodude, use Tackle again!” Brock ordered, his voice wavering as he worried about his Pokémon’s condition. Ash had seen this before, however, while watching the league battles. Geodude was confused. It happened as an added effect with some Pokémon techniques, making the Pokémon dazed and sometimes unable to follow commands from the correct trainer.

Geodude proved Ash right when he began to slap himself in the face rather than use the attack Brock had called for. This battle was over.

“Geodude is unable to battle,” the referee called out, holding the green flag towards Ash, “Butterfree wins the round!”

“Geodude, return to your Great Ball,” Brock ordered, pulling the staggered red energy into the blue and white sphere. “Well done, challenger. I don’t usually give praise to trainers who have no idea of the attacks their Pokémon are using, but I have to say that it was nice to see your Pokémon so shocked at his own technique as well.”

“Wait, how did you know Butterfree was a boy?” Ash asked, hearing Misty sigh loudly from his side.

“You can tell by the markings on their upper wings,” he answered, shrinking Geodude’s Great Ball and pulling out an ordinary Pokéball while he spoke, “and also by the length of their antenna. A female Butterfree has shorter antenna and a slightly more exaggerated pattern on her upper wings. Now, shall we get on with the battle?”

“Yeah,” Ash agreed, looking to Butterfree. “Are you ready, Butterfree?”

“Free!” the bug-type called, smirking slightly with his maw. Brock threw his Pokéball as high in the large room as he could get it, narrowly missing the ceiling. The ball opened and the energy that came out was much more than Ash had seen before.

It formed into a huge serpent which looked like it was made completely of stone. Each stone grew bigger from tail to head, up until the head being the size of Ash’s whole bathroom at home.

“Ii-ooooooooooo!” it roared, rearing back to show Butterfree the horn on its head, which was almost as long as Ash’s body.

“Ash Ketchum, I’d like you to meet Onix,” Brock said, causing Onix to roar again, staring at Ash with its large eyes.

“Hi, Onix,” Ash mumbled, waving to the giant grey serpent.

“Onix, use Screech!” Brock shouted, smiling slightly. Onix put its head closer down to Butterfree’s height and let a scream erupt from its gaping jaw. The sound hurt Ash’s ears, and he could see it doing the same to Butterfree, who had crumpled to the floor, cringing. Ash could see the waves of sound in the air, moving quicker and quicker until abruptly ending.

With his ears ringing, Ash couldn’t hear much, but he saw Brock’s lips moving, ordering an attack.

Onix lifted its head higher up, although it was still hunched with the size of the room. Opening its jaw again and roaring, Ash saw a ball of brown energy appear and slowly form into a large boulder the height of Ash.

“Butterfree, get back into the air!” he called out, but he couldn’t hear his own voice, and he could see that Butterfree hadn’t heard him either. Onix threw the now fully formed boulder at the crumpled Butterfree, who didn’t even notice it coming.

The boulder crashed onto Butterfree, and although Ash couldn’t hear the noise emanating from it, he felt the vibration it made on the ground around him. The boulder crumbled to dust, and Butterfree was barely moving. He was unconscious.

“Butterfree is unable to battle,” the referee shouted after squinting for a while to see the effects of the attack, “Onix wins the round!”

Ash pulled Butterfree back into his Pokéball, feeling guilty for his injuries. He decided to apologise later. His next choice had been Pidgey, but the boulder would defeat him as well. Ash decided to use Pichu instead.

“I choose you, Pichu!” he yelled, throwing the ball in front of Onix. Pichu came out facing Misty, and smiled, waving to her. She waved back quickly before pointing behind him at Onix. The electric-type turned to look and then fell over in horror, crawling back to Ash at speed to get away.

“Chu!” the Pokémon cried, obviously scared and wishing to trade places with Pidgey. He climbed Ash’s trousers and tried to grab Pidgey’s Pokéball off Ash’s magnetic strip, but Ash picked him off and placed him on the ground.

“It’s time to battle, Pichu,” he told the tiny rodent Pokémon. It took a little convincing, but Pichu finally resigned to battling the giant Pokémon. “That’s the spirit, buddy. Now, let’s see.”

He pulled his Pokédex from his jacket pocket once more to find out any information that could help Pichu.

“Onix, classified as the rock serpent Pokémon, and recognised as both a rock-type and a ground-type. Onix can burrow underground at speeds of up to 50mph, causing tremors and plate movement as they do. They mainly feed on boulders and mountainsides.”

“Pichu, your electric-type attacks won’t work here, so we’ll have to use Charm for now!”

Pichu shuddered at a thought, and then ran on all fours, closer to Onix than he wished to be. He clicked his small fingers together and winked at the towering rock-type, but nothing happened.

“Onix, use Screech again!” Brock called, making Ash grimace; he had only just regained his hearing properly. The same sound of long metal nails scratching down a sheet of steel came from the cavernous insides of Onix’s jaw, forcing Pichu onto his knees, covering up his large yellow and black ears.

Ash made a point this time to stare at Brock and see what he would do next. Pichu more than likely wouldn’t be able to hear Ash, but at least he could be prepared. Brock shouted something that seemed to end in ‘-am’, but Ash couldn’t make it out clearly enough.

Before he could react, Onix had lifted his tail with tremendous speed for his size and was thrusting it down at Pichu, gaining a slight trace of white glimmering energy on the bumpy stones. Pichu was thrown across the room behind Ash, crashing into a wall. Ash didn’t have to look.

“Pichu is unable to battle,” the referee said, the noise of his voice coming faintly through to Ash’s ears now, “Onix wins the round, which means Brock wins the battle!”

Before he could return Pichu to his Pokéball, all three people in the room were at his side. Misty telling him not to worry about it, the referee telling him he could have a rematch the next day and Brock telling him he had done a good job for a beginner trainer.

He barely noticed Brock had already withdrawn Onix from the battlefield.

“You did well, Ash,” Misty murmured into his ear when she hugged him, “now get Pichu back into his ball and let’s get to the Pokémon Centre.”

“Forget the Pokémon Centre,” Brock told them both, “you can stay here the night. I have herbs and potions for healing. Butterfree and Pichu will be fine in no time.”

Ash agreed. It could be good to get a nice rest.

***

Ash woke up in the sleeping bag he had rolled out for himself next to Misty’s. He looked to his right and saw she was no longer there. Looking to his left, he saw Pichu and Butterfree’s Pokéballs shrunken and still; they were sleeping too.

The sun was beginning to rise, sending light through the window. Ash suddenly felt that he needed to use the bathroom, and ran from the room without his Pokéballs, not worrying that he didn’t know where it was situated.

After finding it within the third door he tried, Ash emerged feeling refreshed. He heard voices from one of the rooms on his way back.

“-doesn’t know who I am, and I want to keep it that way for now,” he heard Misty say. The second voice belonged to Brock.

“I won’t say anything if you promise to agree. I need to get out of here and see the world,” he told her, before pausing. Ash heard someone walk towards the door and tried to move away, but fell to the floor.

The door opened and Brock stared down at Ash with bemusement in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked Ash with a smile still on his face.

“I’m okay,” Ash told him, grabbing Brock’s outstretched hand to pull himself up. Brushing chunks of dirt from the plant he had fell into off his black t-shirt, he looked at a confused Misty behind the gym leader.

“Did you hit your head or something?” she asked him, looking away quickly.

“When can we have our rematch?” Ash asked Brock, ignoring Misty’s strange behaviour in the room behind him, twitching slightly at the sound of his words.

“Later,” Brock told him, laughing, “we’ll have to wait for Phillip to come in to officiate it. For now, we’ll talk. I’ll show you around the town if you’d like.”

“I’d rather be here when Phillip gets here,” he admitted, before finding himself confused, “who’s Phillip?”

“Phillip is the referee for my gym,” the darker-skinned boy told him. “Come in and sit down, won’t you?”

Ash followed him into the room and sat down at a small wooden chair. The room looked a lot like the room Ash and Misty had slept in, except with different furnishing. This was obviously Brock’s living room.

“So, tell me about yourself, Ash.”

Ash couldn’t think of much to start with, so he went with the easier option.

“You tell me about yourself first,” he said, feeling slightly uncomfortable on the chair. Brock laughed, but seemed to be going along with the suggestion.

“Well, I’m thirteen years old and one of the younger gym leaders in Kanto,” he began, not telling Misty, who Ash assumed had already heard all of this, “and I live here with my brother, Forrest. He turns ten tomorrow, so he’ll be able to take over the gym for a little while. I have a proposal before I go on, though Ash.”

“What is it?” Ash asked, expecting exactly what he had already heard him say to Misty.

“If I win the battle again, I get to travel around the world with you and Misty,” he suggested, staring deep into Ash’s eyes with his own chocolate brown spheres.

“And if I win?” Ash asked, wondering what the other half of the bargain could be.

“If you win, I give you the badge. As a gift to me for giving you the badge, you let me travel with you. What do you say?”

Ash almost laughed at the obvious attempt to trick him into accepting another travelling companion. Manners taught him not to, and he thought about the offer for a moment. Brock had been handy, healing Butterfree and Pichu instead of letting Ash go to the Pokémon Centre, and it would probably be helpful having him around to keep them healed.

“Win or lose, you can travel with us,” Ash agreed, smiling and shaking hands with a grateful Brock, “now continue your life story.”

“Well, I don’t really see my father that much anymore, and my mother passed away, so that’s about it for the family department,” he continued, now much more sombre but calm, “but it’s my mother than I get my darker skin from. She was born on the Sevii Islands, where it’s much hotter.”

“Where is your father?” Ash asked, but looking to his left told him Misty had already asked the same thing.

“I have no idea, and I’d rather not know where he is,” Brock retorted, turning his face away from Ash. Regardless, Ash could see Brock was hurting, and decided against pursuing the topic.

“Did you start your journey as a trainer with Geodude?” Ash asked, recalling Geodude’s use of terrain against Onix’s brute strength tactic.

“Actually, my father gave me Onix three and a half years ago when I turned ten,” Brock told him sourly; as if that was the reason he used Geodude more effectively. “You know, I might get Forrest to come and watch our rematch to get him more prepared for battling.”

“Hasn’t he already been taught?” Ash asked, remembering the years he spent learning from Professor Oak.

“Not everyone has a renowned Professor living next door, Ash,” Misty said, making Ash jump.

“I didn’t mean it like-”

“Ah, here you are, Brock,” a voice interrupted from the door. Turning, Ash saw Phillip, returned to the gym early. “And so is everyone. Sleep over?

“We sure did,” Ash said, nodding with excitement, “and now I’m ready for a rematch against you, Brock!” Brock nodded, standing up.

“You go and get your Pokémon then, and I’ll get Forrest.”

***

Ash waited at his side of the battlefield, watching Misty yawn on the sidelines. They had already been in the room for over ten minutes, wondering why Brock was taking so long.

Finally, two people walked through the door. The first was Brock, still smiling and happy at the prospect of travelling with Ash and Misty. The second was a similar height to Ash, but dark skinned like Brock. In many ways, he was identical to Brock.

They both had the same dark honey coloured hair, and the same tight eyelids. The brothers even wore similar colours, with Forrest sporting a dark and light green striped t-shirt and Brock once more wearing his olive green jacket.

The younger brother walked to Phillip and whispered something into his ear, prompting the referee to shout out and congratulate the boy. Brock must have told Forrest he was going to be the new gym leader after Brock left.

“This is a two-on-two battle between the gym leader Brock Harrison and the challenger Ash Ketchum!” Phillip shouted, holding up the red and green flags again. “The challenger may switch, but the leader cannot. There is no time limit. Begin!”

“Geodude, I choose you!” Brock called, throwing the Great Ball into the air. The white energy from within came crashing down to the ground without a sound, splashing around before forming into the grey Geodude, ready for battle.

“Come on out, Pichu!” Ash shouted, throwing his own Pokéball into the battle. Pichu came out more confident than he had last time, smirking at Geodude with a hint of mischief.

“Geodude, use Double Edge!” Brock ordered. Immediately, Geodude was sprinting across the rocky field, using his hands to move himself faster. A white glow overtook his body, stopping Pichu from looking directly at it.

The attack hit Pichu, knocking him over, but Ash knew it would hurt Geodude as well.

“You’ve injured your own Pokémon now, Brock!” He called over confidently, “Double Edge is going to give your Pokémon recoil damage!”

“I’m afraid not, Ash,” Brock told him, smiling harder than Ash was, “because Geodude have a special ability they’re born with that the experts call Rock Head. They don’t get any recoil damage from their attacks.”

The smoke surrounding the attack had cleared, but a familiar array of small yellow sparks were rippling their way over Geodude’s stony body.

“Did you use Thunder Wave, Pichu?” Ash asked his Pokémon, who simply shrugged, standing up with slight strain.

“Pichu have a special ability too, Ash!” Misty shouted over to him. “It’s called Static. When a Pokémon makes physical contact with yours, there is a chance they’ll become paralysed!”

“Brock, you should switch Pokémon!” Forrest called out, only to be silenced by Phillip.

“Didn’t you hear the rules at the start? If you’re going to be the gym leader, you had better start learning them!”

“Enough! Geodude, use Rock Climb!” Brock shouted, his right foot coming outside of his box with his strong movement. Geodude copied him, working through the electricity that pulsed through his stone muscles in an attempt to stop him moving.

His fingers gained a similar glow to Rock Smash, but with a plain white colour instead. Quicker than Ash expected, Geodude was using the ground and the boulders to rush over to Pichu with strength and momentum.

“Pichu, use Charm!” Ash ordered. Pichu winked at the oncoming Geodude, making cute faces. Tiny glitter came from his eyelids and sprayed over Geodude, who was more than close now. It hit the rock-type at the last minute, just managing to reduce the intensity of the attack.

There was another crash, sending smoke around Ash, who the battle was nearer. Coughing, he heard Pichu cry out in pain.

“Geodude, find Pichu and use Tackle!” Ash heard Brock order. There was another cry from Pichu, and Ash could tell the attack must have found its target.

“Follow my voice, Pichu! Get out of that smoke!” Ash called. Moments later, Pichu came limping out of the dissipating smoke. He looked exhausted. “Would you like me to use Butterfree?”

“Chu!” the electric-type shouted, shaking his head. There was a familiar white glint to his paws.

“Okay! Pichu, use Double Slap!” Ash told his Pokémon. Pichu ran at Geodude on all fours, his two front paws gaining more and more energy as he ran.

“Geodude, hit back with a Rock Smash!” Brock called over to his own Pokémon. Geodude’s fist gained a pale brown glow before he swung it round to meet Pichu. Then, however, he abruptly stopped, his body finally giving in to the paralysis.

Pichu began thwacking away, more and more aggressively each time. Geodude winced from the attack now that it was becoming too much.

“Try Rock Smash again, Geodude!” Brock cried, and Ash could tell from the look on his face that Geodude wouldn’t be able to take much more. Geodude tried another attack, pulling it off. His fist swung around, meeting both of Pichu’s paws at once.

There was a struggle, but Pichu began gaining the upper hand. Geodude was becoming tired, while Pichu was getting a second wind.

Pichu pushed one paw forward with more strength than Geodude, giving him the chance to use his other hand to unleash more Double Slap on Geodude’s body.

“Geodude, hang in there!” Brock yelled, but Geodude had already passed out on the ground in front of Pichu. Before Ash could cheer his Pokémon on, Pichu had passed out on top of the rock-type from exhaustion.

“Geodude is unable to battle! Pichu wins the round!” Phillip called out, holding the green flag towards Ash’s box.

“But Pichu fainted, too!” Forrest called out, with a sour look on his face. Phillip only had to turn towards him to stop him moaning.

“You’re here to learn,” he reminded the boy as Ash and Brock both returned their Pokémon to their respective Pokéballs, “not to teach. Pay attention!”

“It’s your turn, Onix!” Brock shouted, throwing the red and white sphere onto the ground, releasing the behemoth of stone.

“Come on out, Butterfree!” Ash called, sending out his bug-type. Butterfree saw Onix and shuddered, small particles of glitter and dust falling from his large wings.

“Onix, finish this quickly with Rock Throw!” Brock ordered, a sly smirk crossing his face. Onix reared his head back, opening his jaw wide. Just as he had yesterday, he began to form a boulder in between his top and bottom jaws.

Ash heard the noise this time. It sounded like two boulders being crushed together. It made Ash’s stomach churn, but stopped quickly when Onix flung the fully-formed boulder down at Butterfree.

“Butterfree, grab it and throw it back with Confusion!” Ash ordered, thinking back to the attack’s effect on Geodude the previous day. Butterfree’s eyes gained a glowing pink lining, which formed around the moving boulder, slowing it until it stopped.

“Free!” Butterfree grunted as he used all of his mental focus to hurl the boulder back at Onix at a greater speed.

“Onix, get rid of it with Slam!” Brock ordered, now looking worried. Onix obeyed quickly, his tail smashing the moving boulder to pieces, which scattered over Onix’s long body and the ground.

“Butterfree, use Confusion on Onix!” Ash ordered, hoping the bug-type could handle the size of the creature with his power so new. Butterfree took charge of the falling shards of stone, moving them out of the way with his mind as his mental focus reached out to grab around Onix’s body with a faint pink glow.

“Onix, fight against it and use Bind!” Brock called out. Onix’s tail rose up towards Butterfree, who tried his hardest to hold the rock-type back. Onix broke free and wrapped his tail around Butterfree, twisting and curling until only Butterfree’s head could be seen.

“Butterfree, use Bug Bite!”

Butterfree’s slightly smaller, turquoise snout gained an olive glow, and he bit down onto Onix’s stone flesh, taking out any nutrients he could.

“Ooooooon!” the serpent cried, but kept its grip strong.

“Use Confusion!” Ash called, seeing that there was a gap for exposure. Butterfree obeyed, his eyes glowing pink as he unravelled Onix’s tail to let himself free. “Now, use Iron Defence and then hit him with Tackle!”

As Onix tried to compose himself from being sprung apart, Butterfree gained the silver lining Ash had quickly become used to using, becoming hard as metal, and then quickly rammed himself into Onix, sending the serpent crashing to the ground.

“Can you still battle Onix?” Brock asked, Onix’s head laying next to him and still making him look tiny in comparison. The rock-type made no sound.

“Onix is unable to battle! Butterfree wins the round!” Phillip shouted over Misty’s cheers, “The challenger wins the battle!”

Ash felt elated. Butterfree flew straight to him and the two hugged; Ash even felt as if he were lifted slightly into the air by the bug-type. Brock and Misty ran over to him, and it was only now that Ash noticed Onix had been returned to his Pokéball already.

“Congratulations Ash,” Misty said hugging him when Butterfree moved aside.

“Well done, Ash,” Brock told him, shaking his hand, “I had a feeling you’d be able to do it this time round.”

Ash looked around. Phillip was smiling and nodding at Ash, while Forrest was shaking his head in disgust, obviously not appreciating his brother’s loss. Ash didn’t care what he thought; his mind was consumed with the small metal badge Brock was now handing to him.

It was hexagonal, and completely grey, but it shined with the glimmer of diamonds.

“You’ve earned that Boulder Badge, Ash,” Brock told him, patting him on the back once more.

***

“If you forget where the badges are kept, you can ask Phillip, or leave me a message at a Pokémon Centre,” Brock told Forrest as he put his overly large backpack onto his shoulders.

His brother had insisted that he already had his own Pokémon and didn’t need to use Brock’s Geodude, no matter how much Brock tried to lend him out.

With the three ready to travel again, Ash eagerly anticipated his next battle in Cerulean City, even though Brock and Misty still refused to tell them anything about the gym leader.

Ash stared at his Boulder Badge as they walked towards the valley leaving Pewter City, paying no attention to his two companion’s attempts to talk to him.

 

[DANdotW]

Chapter 8: The Route To Mt. Moon

“Rattata, use Hyper Fang!”

The trainer ordering was running from side to side, dodging the teal-glowing feathers that laced around the air as if in a storm.

The Pokémon in front of him was imitating, its bright purple fur swaying from both the movements and the Featherdance. Ash’s Pidgey remained airborne, his wings spread wide, spraying the feathers out in great numbers.

“Switch into a Wing Attack before Rattata can attack you, Pidgey!” Ash ordered, being cheered on by both Misty and Brock. Pidgey obeyed, charging the energy deep within its body to one particular spot in both of his wings. At the same time, with the lack of Featherdance, Rattata now jumped into the air, stretching out its curled purple tail to get the least air resistance.

“Hit it, Rattata!” the trainer, Carter, called out to his normal-type.

“Raaa!” the furred Pokémon snarled as its large bucked teeth gained a brilliant white hue. As the two Pokémon made contact, the air rippled with the energy on both wing and tooth as the two fought for dominance.

“Be careful, Ash,” Brock warned from behind his new travelling companion, “that Hyper Fang is a lot stronger than Wing Attack. It’ll more than likely take over very soon.”

“Pidgey!” Ash called, after nodding to Brock in thanks, “Knock Rattata back with your Wing Attack and send him flying to the floor with Whirlwind!”

Pidgey was already becoming accustomed to Ash’s commands, and so pushed forward with his teal-glowing wing, knocking Rattata away and giving him room to climb in the air and flap his wings. A large blast of wind overcame the already struggling Rattata and knocked him to the ground, unharmed.

“Rattata, use Quick Attack to get back up there!” Carter ordered. Rattata bent his legs as if to jump, and was forced up with a blast of white energy, which streamed behind him as he closed the distance between himself and Ash’s flying-type.

“Pidgey, knock him out of the sky with Wing Attack!” Ash ordered. The airborne Pokémon’s wings now once more glowing a fierce teal colour, Pidgey smacked the normal-type across the face as it reached him, sending the purple-furred Pokémon crashing to the floor, knocking it out.

“Rattata, are you okay?” Carter asked, rushing to his grounded Pokémon and picking it up. “You knocked him out cold! He’s unconscious!”

Before Ash could apologise or comment, Brock was already over by the trainer’s side. Rummaging through his very large green backpack, the ex-gym leader pulled a small yellow diamond from a pouch he produced.

“This should do the trick,” he mumbled as he pressed the sharper bottom of the diamond into Rattata’s forehead. The purple-furred Pokémon twitched as it made contact, but in a few seconds, the diamond had melted deep into its head, as one might push a spoon into ice cream.

“Rat?” the Pokémon murmured as it slowly opened its eyes and looked at its trainer.

“Thank you so much!” Carter shouted at Brock, almost hugging him for a moment.

“It’s no problem at all,” Brock told him, smiling. “You’ll still need to head to a Pokémon Centre, though. That reviving crystal can only do so much, such as bringing him back into consciousness.”

“I can’t even tell you how grateful I am,” the boy said, before running past Ash towards Pewter City, giving the trainer a hateful glance as he did so.

Ash looked at Brock with a bemused expression for a few moments before speaking.

“Where did you get a reviving crystal?” he asked the older trainer, having only seen the gem once while at Professor Oak’s laboratory.

“Every now and then, I used to leave the gym for a while and dig up some things at Mt. Moon.” His answer didn’t seem to shock Misty at all, but Ash, ever keen to prove his naivety, almost pleaded to ask another question.

“Can gym leaders leave the gyms?”

“Of course they can, you dolt!” Misty shouted at him, shaking her head afterwards. “You really don’t know much about this sort of thing, do you?”

“What’s the matter, Misty?” Ash asked, his temper getting the better of him. “Are you jealous that I caught two Pokémon in my first week and you’ve only caught one in a year?”

“You think that’s so great, huh?” Misty retorted, clearly hurt by the accusation, but also in a foul mood, “How about a battle? We’ll see how tough you are then!”

“Calm down, you two!” Brock shouted, getting flustered. “God, I swear the two of you remind me of Forrest.”

Still angry, Ash and Misty both backed down. Ash noticed that Misty already had one of her Pokéballs enlarged in her hand, where she had to shrink it back down to travel size before she could put it away.

The group walked in silence for the rest of the afternoon. By the time the sky started to darken, the three had reached the Pokémon Centre at the base of Mt. Moon. Giving their Pokémon to the nurse, the three split up.

Ash sat at one of the canteen tables, eating some oran berry pie; while the waitress brought him some more fried topo berry slices. Brock was at the main desk, discussing something with the nurse and looking very enthusiastic. Misty, meanwhile, was storming back over to the table.

“What’s wrong, Misty?” Ash asked as she threw herself into the seat.

“This!” she shouted, pulling a Pokéball out of her pocket and enlarging it with the click of a button. The Pokéball she held was almost completely black, and decorated around the opening and on the top with red and gold floral artwork.

“That’s a nice Pokéball,” Ash commented, noticing the almost glittery sheen it had to it.

“A guy over there offered me the most sought after water-type Pokémon in the world,” she said, moaning as she spoke, “for a small fee, of course. That turned out to be almost five hundred credits. Then, when I released the Pokémon to have a look, this happened!”

As if on command, the ball cracked open and a burst of white light came out. It swirled around in the same curled floral pattern as on the ball, causing many trainers around the canteen area to stare. When the energy finally settled, Ash began to laugh almost immediately.

Flapping on the floor in front of him was a Pokémon he had long worried about getting as a starter Pokémon. Its blood-red scales were shimmering with the electric lighting of the Pokémon Centre. With a quick flip of its strong tail, the Pokémon flopped into the air.

“Magikarp!” the Pokémon called out, its eyes staring at Misty. Misty was almost snarling. Ash stopped laughing and looked at her.

“Why didn’t you just ask for a refund, Misty?” he asked, receiving the most evil glare he had ever seen from her.

“I did!” she told him, returning Magikarp to its luxurious Pokéball as she continued. “He said he accepted no refunds, or any responsibility, and then ran for it!”

Rather than laugh again, Ash decided to take a better route to keep her voice down.

“Don’t forget that Magikarp evolve into Gyarados,” he said, trying to help with the fact Professor Oak had reminded him of only a week and a half ago.

“I know that, you dolt!” she shouted, her face turning a deep shade of crimson. “I am a water-type expert, you know!”

Having recently defeated Brock and Carter, Ash decided he had become somewhat of an expert himself. His newfound arrogance got the better of him.

“Well it seems to me you’re not that much of an expert, Misty,” he commented, watching as she seethed and her eyes narrowed in a glare aimed at him. “It’s pretty easy to train any Pokémon, if you’ve got the right skills.”

“Oh, and you think you’ve got those kind of skills?” she asked him, standing and slamming her small fists on the table. Ash’s heart began to beat much faster as the adrenaline kicked in, and he followed suit to continue the argument.

“I just defeated a gym leader,” he forwarded, offering Misty reasons for his skills, “and I beat Carter this morning.”

“Two wins don’t make you a master, Ash!” she roared. At this point, Brock came over to mediate.

“Will you two just stop this arguing,” he suggested, standing between the two trainers. “Our Pokémon are all healed now. Can’t we just get on and travel through Mt. Moon?”

“I’m not travelling with him anymore!” Misty decided, almost spitting her remark. Brock looked surprised at both of them.

“That’s fine by me!” he shouted back, as Misty began to leave the Pokémon Centre, “Good riddance, water expert!”

With that, Misty had left the building, and was travelling alone.

“Can you believe her?” Ash asked Brock, who seemed much more angered than before.

“I can’t believe either of you,” he said, lifting up his heavy pack, “but at least she had the sense to end the argument. You can’t just leave things alone, can you?”

Brock made his way to the exit, ignoring any of the attempts Ash made to grab his arm or call him back. Within minutes, Ash had gone from having three companions, to having none at all.

He picked up his bag, filling it with his wallet that he had used to pay for food, and left, turning the opposite way. If they didn’t want to travel with him that badly, he would use a different path through Mt. Moon. Feeling slightly lonelier, he grabbed Pichu’s Pokéball and threw it onto the soggy ground outside.

“Pi?” the Pokémon cried, looking around and shivering.

“Looks like it’s just you and me for a while, Pichu,” Ash told the electric-type, watching as he sniffed at a plant that had begun to grow through the cracks of the rock.

“Pichu, Pi,” Pichu said, seeming neither happy nor sad at the situation. Before Ash said anything else, the inquisitive electric-type had run over to another plant, this one longer. Using his small arms, he started prodding at the large leaves that had grown from the stem.

“Let’s get going,” Ash muttered to himself, and headed towards the small opening into the mountain at the furthest point from the main entrance.

 

[pandafoxygirl]

Kyaaaa!!! I really love this story so far, you describe the scenes so well, I really can see it happening while reading it ^^
Keep up the good work, can't wait for the next chapter ^^

 

[DANdotW]

Thanks so much. Really. It's nice to finally get someone saying something after four or five chapters of nobody posting but me. I'm glad I still have some readers.

The next chapter should be up next week.

Iota

 

[pandafoxygirl]

You're welcome ^^
I really don't get why those two people on the other page (lost their names ^^; ) have so many critique on your story, it's very good. And as you already said, it's a retelling, not a novelization, you can change the things as much as you want yourself from the real story as long as you yourself like it ^^
Writers write stories for enjoying themselves and for the readers to enjoy what you have written. Stories aren't only made to get money and attention, they're mainly maid for the readers to enjoy, that's the main topic of writing a story. Mistakes aren't that bad, they're good because you can learn from them and really everybody makes mistakes (although it seems those people on the other page don't get that).
I like the idea of having changed Pikachu in Pichu, since starter Pokémon should all start at the first evolution, not on the second already like in the anime with Pikachu.
I also like the idea of changing the name of some of the people since Deliah really makes Ash's mom sound older, Delilah sounds way better I think ^^ and I think it's also a good idea to let professor Oak be the creator of Pallet town, after all, who else would have done it and why else did professor Oak get so much honour, I think it's logical and you have very good ideas ^^
I'll subscribe to the thread, in that way I'll see it as soon as it's on serebii ^^

PS: Sorry for the long post ^^; I'm very talkative, it's my nature, I hope you didn't get bored at my comment XP

 

[DANdotW]

Not at all. I really appreciate criticism, but it's nice once in a while to get praised. I think people forget that critique is a way to improve, but to make someone feel like it's worth posting the story, it's good to praise at least one aspect of it.

I'm really appreciative to you, so I'm glad you've subscribed. As I said, the next chapter should be up sometime next week.

Iota

 

[pandafoxygirl]

I also appreciate criticism but sometimes critiques sound very mean and they make me feel bad (this happens with critiques on my own stories as well as stories of others, and those two people on the other page really made me feel bad because I thought they were mean and to hard, it's your story after all, not theirs).
Lol, I submitted one story here so far, it wasn't that good and my only reviewers were already my friends, they were very nice to try to help me and praise my story but after some chapters they also stopped reviewing and I didn't feel like continuing it anymore so I stopped *sighs*

Ow, you're too nice, I'm really glad you think so ^^

 

[DANdotW]

Apologies for the longer wait than expected for the chapter. I've got tomorrow off again, so I'll finish it off in the morning and check through it in the afternoon. It should be up late afternoon tomorrow.

Iota