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PokéSaga - The Johto Voyage [PG]

Wynaut?

Well-Known Member
PokéSaga - The Johto Voyage [PG]

Rated PG for minor vulgar language.

Okay, I was pretty concious about posting this to start with... Some stuff I recently read kinda gave me second thoughts, but I just thought, 'go for it'.

Here it is... Hope you enjoy, to some degree at least. Maybe if it gets popular enough, there'll be more to come.

1 - A Birthday To Remember || 2 - A Beginning and an End


Chapter 1 - A Birthday to Remember​
There are many stories starting every day in Goldenrod City, with its bustling streets, sky-high buildings and bright, cheery residents. They range from the wild Pokémon sprawling the back alleys on their early morning food hunt, to travelers just passing by to see the sights of the radio tower, or the wide-open National Park situated just north of its border.

This story also starts in Johto’s biggest city – the outskirts, to be precise. It is night time, and most of the city’s residents are at home.

In one of the small, two-bedroom homes located on the road leading to the National Park, a young boy is laying on the sofa, watching the television. He flicks from channel to channel – from coverage of the latest Pokémon battle tournament, to an interview with Goldenrod’s own top DJ, Mary, to a video of the Slowpoke Sisters’ latest hit single. Slowly losing interest, he switches off the TV with the remote, and drifts off on the sofa.

He wasn’t asleep for long though, as the boy’s mother enters the room, wearing pink nightwear and a stern look on her face.

“Cris!” she yelled. The boy awoke with a start. His ice-blue eyes shot open, and he scratched his naturally messy, dark hair out of confusion.

“What’s going on?” he said, groggily.

“I keep telling you, falling asleep on the sofa like that won’t do your neck any good. We gave you a bed and your own room for a reason. Now get off your Probopass and up to bed. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“What’s so special about tomorrow..? It’s just my birthday, nothing special ever happens on my birthday,” Cris moaned, almost sounding as if he treated his birthday just like any other day.

“You’ll see,” his mum assured him. “We’ve got something planned.”

“Yeah, right,” he said as he dragged himself up the stairs. “What the hell is a Probopass anyway?” he mumbled to himself, hoping he was out of his usually-strict mother’s earshot.

Cris thought back to his tenth birthday as he climbed into bed. He remembered a lot of his friends who had recently turned ten had gone off to become Pokémon trainers… And how upset he was when he parents said he was too young and irresponsible to do the same. Since then, he has watched many a Pokémon battle on the TV, and he had read about all sorts of adventures in magazines.

He had hoped every year that his parents would change their minds. Maybe this ‘something’ they have planned is what he has hoped it would be for the past four years?

“Only one way to find out,” he thought to himself, as he drifted back off to sleep.

-

The next morning, Cris woke up to the sound of his father calling him from downstairs. He quickly jumped out of bed and, still in his pyjamas, ran down the stairs.

“What’s up, Dad?” he asked, still wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“I need you to do a favour for me. I want you to run down to the Pokémon centre in town. Nurse Joy should have a package there waiting for me, I need you to bring it back to me,” his dad explained, peering over his thick-rimmed glasses.

“Oh… Okay,” Cris said, somewhat disappointed. He went upstairs to change into his clothes.

Cris was rather tall for his age, and so this made buying clothes a bit hard for his parents. He decided he’d change into his favourite sky blue shirt and white tee combo, with black jeans and his black Pokéshoe trainers. After pulling his blue Pokémon League cap over his messy hair – to save treating the hair itself – he grabbed his house key from the desk loaded with Pokémon magazines and memorabilia, ran downstairs and headed out the front door - skipping breakfast, much to his mother’s annoyance.

As Cris walked rather hastily down the main road into town, he took in the sights of the town he had lived in since he was a baby. The familiar skyline of nearby Ecruteak City to the North, with its two towers standing out the most, was visible from the top of the hill he traversed over to reach the town centre. He soon picked up the pace even further whilst going downhill, and then managed to lose his footing and stumble.

“Heh… Glad no-one was around to see that,” he muttered, dusting himself off.

Slightly shaken from the fall, Cris managed to walk into town where the usual crowds were making their way through the shops, with several important-looking people heading into the mysterious tall buildings lining the Business district. Down an alley, Cris could see several Grimer rooting through the bins for food.

He then took the short-cut through Goldenrod’s underground path, lined with even more shops and stalls, then emerged opposite the Pokémon center.

A grand building, with the familiar Pokémon center logo adorning the roof, red bricking making up the walls, and two floors, both with several lines of windows, stood before Cris, as he walked up to and through the sliding doors.

He rang the bell on the counter, only for a Chansey to come out from behind a door and greet him.

Chanseeey! Chanse-chansey!” it said in a cheerful, high-pitched voice.

“I guess Nurse Joy isn’t around yet… I’ll just take a seat. Thanks, Chansey.”

Chansey!” It bowed its pink, egg-shaped body, and walked away.

As Cris took a seat, he looked around. A worried-looking trainer was sitting with his Hoppip on his lap, with the small pink Pokémon looking in serious pain. Another trainer had just arrived with his Kingler clawing to his arm, not looking like it wanted to let go any time soon. Several Chansey just entered the operating theatre, pushing a trolley that was loaded with an Ekans tangled up with a Tangela’s vines.

Five minutes passed when a familiar voice echoed over the announcing system.

“Could Cris Tidey please come to the reception desk?” he heard Nurse Joy say over the mic. He got up and approached the desk.

“Cris, good to see you again. How’s the family?” asked Joy.

“Hey, Nurse Joy. They’re good as usual; dad’s as busy as ever. Um, I’ve come to collect a package for him?”

“Of course, it’s right here. It’s been sent from the PokéCenter outside the mansion in Sinnoh,” she explained as she looked under the desk for the package.

“Sinnoh? Oh yeah, Dad was there for research last week,” Cris recalled.

“Yes, that’s right. He couldn’t bring it over directly due to the luggage limits on his plane from Twinleaf Town. So he got Nurse Joy from over there to send it here. Well, here you are!” Joy handed him the small, cubic package, beaming brightly.

“Thanks, Nurse Joy! I wonder what’s inside?” he said, as he started to make his way out the door.

“Oh, Cris!” Joy called. “Your father asked me to make sure you’re careful with it, it’s quite delicate. And, have a great birthday!” she called back to him.

“Haha, thanks again Nurse Joy. I’ll try my best!” Cris started jogging back home, carefully carrying the box in both arms.

-

“Do you think it’s right, what we’re doing?” Cris’ mum, named Lea, was sitting at the oak kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea. It had been an hour since Cris left the house to pick up the package.

“Of course. Cris has wanted this for years now… I think he’s become more responsible. Pass the sugar, dear,” said Cris’ dad.

“I know, I agree… I just wish… Oh, Alec, Cris is going to be gone for such a long time,” she said, in a rather mournful tone.

“I know dear. But it’s for his sake. He’s not getting anywhere just being cooped up in here, watching TV all day. I think this is perfect for him. He’ll learn so much, and when he does come back, you’ll be so proud of him,” he consoled.

“I hope so,” said Lea. Her eyes wandered to the two Pidgey that had just landed on the kitchen windowsill, fighting over some seeds that Lea had left there for her regular visitors to the window. Then Cris’ parents heard the lock in the door turn, and Cris entered the house.

“I got it,” he said with a smile on his face, gesturing toward the package.

“Well, open it,” said Alec.

“Huh? But, it’s for you?”

“Nope, it’s for you. Happy birthday, Cris.”

Cris looked lost, especially with his mum looking a little down over at the table. Cris hesitated for a second, then started opening the package. His dad smiled.

“It’s… Oh, wow. Dad, does this mean..?” Cris carefully took the small, red-and-white ball from the bubble wrap and stared at it in wonder, his icy-blue eyes wide open with amazement.

“Yes, son. Your mum and I have decided to let you go on your Pokémon journey. I pulled some strings with Professor Elm over in New Bark Town, after coming back from Sinnoh. He and I have a history; we were students together at Celadon University. I helped him out of a jam, and… Well, let’s just say he owed me a favour. He gave the all clear, and allowed me to give you your first Pokémon as a present.”

Cris was speechless. He looked at his mum, who managed a smile for the first time since he got home.

“Well, don’t just stand there! Let your Pokémon out. I’m sure it’s hungry, it has come all the way from Sinnoh after all,” Alec said with another smile.

“Okay, um… Come on out!” he said enthusiastically as he lobbed the ball vertically into the air.

A beam of white light appeared as the ball opened, lighting up the room. It slowly formed the basic shape of a small, four legged Pokémon. Cris looked in amazement at the little Pokémon, resembling a young, tan-brown puppy with a white collar.

Eee!” it squeaked, as it stood there in this strange, new environment.
 
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xXPorygonXx

Sort of active
Not too bad so far. Okay description, could use a little bit more, but it's decent. An Eevee as a starter...where have I seen this before.... Seriously, Eevee is one of the most overused Pokemon as a Starter. I know it's powerful and all, but there's a reseon why Nintendo has almost 500 Pokemon created. Instead of an Eevee, why not be daring and use a Pokemon that most people don't really consider using. Elekid, for example. Even though it's pretty strong, most people tend to ignore using it as a starting Pokemon. Or, since the dad was in Sinnoh, why not a Sinnoh Pokemon? For example, a Pachirisu or Buizel. Or, consider creating a 'Fakemon' and using it as a starter. Aside from the Eevee thing, very good start. xXPorygonXx, out!;137;

P.S. The above rant wasn't directed at you. I just dislike it when people overuse Eevee as a starting Pokemon. And if you DO decide to use a Fakemon and get stuck for ideas, PM me. I've a few good Fakeys.
 

Wynaut?

Well-Known Member
Hey it's ok, I know what you mean. I posted about the whole Eevee thing in the thread 'The Eevee Factor', before I posted this.

To be honest, I had no idea Eevee was so over-used before I came up with the idea for this fic... I hadn't read many Pokéfics beforehand so I wasn't sure in the first place. I chose Eevee as I had a small bit of storyline planned for it. It was either Eevee or a traditional starter/Pikachu... One that was rather obvious (to me) that would be over-used.

Still, I much appreciate your advice. :) I'll look at working on my descriptions, and the next chapter should be up within the next couple of days. As for Fakemon, I thought about it for a while but I couldn't come up with many ideas myself, so I'll seek out advice if I need to.

Thanks to both of you for the comments on my opening chapter.
 
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Wynaut?

Well-Known Member
Okay, here be Chapter 2.

Chapter 2 - A Beginning and an End​

In the centre of the oaken kitchen, Cris stood speechless, staring at his first Pokémon.

An Eevee… I can’t believe this!” he thought to himself.

He cautiously started to approach the Eevee, as his parents looked on. His dad, Alec, stood alongside the door, still with a smile across his face. At the same time, Cris’s mother Lea started to come to terms with the fact her only son will soon be leaving on his journey.

“Well, what do you think, Cris?” Her first words since Cris came home from the Pokémon center seemed rather shaken and forced.

“I… I love it. Thank you so, so much,” he replied. The disbelief in his voice was still audible.

Little Eevee just stood there, analysing its surroundings. There was a stranger to its left, sitting at the large, four-legged table - a rather thin woman, with jet black hair and ice-blue eyes. She seemed upset. As opposed to the other stranger directly in front, staring at it, with eyes matching those of the woman’s. He seemed to be amazed by Eevee, and was slowly starting to lean towards it. The man standing next to the door, just to the right, was beaming. Eevee recognised this man. He was also tall and thin, all in black with short, brown hair and thick, black-rimmed glasses. He battled Eevee at the mansion in Sinnoh, where it had made its home in the wild.

-

Eevee recalled the situation in its head. A tall, bespectacled man seemed to be exploring the large, abandoned mansion. He had a notepad with him – he must have been some kind of researcher. As the man met Eevee’s eyes, they lit up, and he said something to himself; something about a gift for his son.

The man approached Eevee, holding a Pokéball in his right hand. Eevee knew what was about to occur – it had seen this happen to many of the other wild Pokémon living in the mansion. Eevee jumped up onto one of the white stone ledges in the mansion, and took an aggressive stance. The man smiled, and hurled his Pokéball up in the air. Out came a large, blue, beetle-like Pokémon – a Heracross.

As the man ordered the Heracross to use a Mach Punch on Eevee, Eevee started to growl at the giant beetle. This seemed to force the Heracross to hold back a little, although the attack still struck Eevee, right on the chin. As Eevee became airborne from the force of the punch, he managed to gain some focus, and landed on one of the steps leading to the floor above.

Before being able to completely get back into focus though, Heracross came straight at it again, this time with a Fury Attack, jabbing Eevee with its large horn in quick succession, knocking it back to the floor. Eevee got back up though, and ran full-speed into a tackle, pushing the Heracross back with some force.

“Haha, tough little guy, aren’t you?” said the man, who seemed to be in very high spirits. He then ordered a Megahorn from his Heracross, and before Eevee knew it, it was on the floor again, this time struggling to get up.

“Now… Here it comes!” the man said enthusiastically. He hurled an empty Pokéball at Eevee, as it struck it on the head, and a red light engulfed the area. Eevee struggled, but it was no use - it had been weakened too much from the Megahorn. Eevee felt the ball being picked up, as the man chuckled to himself, before continuing to explore the mansion.

-

Back in the kitchen, Cris reached out to rub Eevee behind the ear. To Cris’s surprise though, Eevee squeaked again and hid behind the door.

“Huh? What’s wrong, Eevee?” he asked. Eevee looked a little scared of Cris. This wasn’t going to plan.

“Um, are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” Cris walked over to the cupboard where Alec kept the food for his Sentret.

Sentret and Eevee are both Normal-types… This shouldn’t be a problem,” he thought to himself confidently. Alec was watching Cris handle the situation, as Lea was keeping an eye on Eevee – still nervous and hiding behind the large oak door. She looked behind her – the two Pidgey had flown off.

As Cris filled the bowl up with the food pellets, he started to get a little nervous himself.

This is amazing… I’m going to go on my journey! Catching and raising, battling and training my own Pokémon… I’m so excited. But… What if it all goes wrong? Do I come back home, and say mum was right not to let me go in the first place? I know that’ll let dad down… Ergh, I don’t want to think about this now. Right now, I gotta concentrate on Eevee.

He picked up the now-full bowl of food, and placed it in the centre of the hardwood kitchen floor.

“Come on, Eevee. I’ve got some food for you! I bet you’re hungry, you’ve come a long way from Sinnoh,” he encouraged the little Pokémon.

Eevee looked up, and saw the boy was trying to get it to approach him. It adamantly stood on the spot though, leaving Cris disappointed. He had another idea though.

“Okay, I’ll bring the food to you, how does that sound?”

Cris picked up the bowl and slowly walked towards Eevee. As Cris got closer, however, Eevee edged further behind the door. That is, until Eevee realised Cris had food with him. When Eevee saw Cris with the food, it slowly poked his head out from behind the door, looked up, and for the first time, met Cris’s eyes without any fear.

Eevee shyly started to walk towards Cris, who had put the bowl on the floor again. It noticed the lady at the table had started to smile, and the man who caught it was watching his son. The boy was crouched down behind the bowl, as he gently spoke.

“It’s okay Eevee. You can trust me.”

Eevee put its head down and cautiously started eating.

Vee!” it squeaked happily. Cris smiled and slowly reached out to pat Eevee again, however, not without Eevee reacting and jumping back. Cris’s face fell for the second time.

“It looks like Eevee hasn’t completely gained your trust yet. At least it knows you mean well though, right?” Alec said reassuringly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But what happens if Eevee can never trust me?” Cris asked.

“You haven’t done anything for it not to trust you, Cris,” Lea said. “If you just keep at it, and continue to treat Eevee the way you have done so far, you’ll be friends in no time.”

“I hope so,” replied Cris.

-

That evening, Cris was sitting on his bed, holding Eevee’s Pokéball in both hands, staring at it.

What can I do to gain your trust, Eevee?” he thought. Just then, the door opened, and his mum walked in.

“Cris, have you got a minute?” she asked with concern.

“Um, sure mum, what’s up?”

“I… just wanted to chat, really. Have you had a good day?”

“Huh? Oh yeah… It’s been fantastic. Thank you so much for this. It’s the best birthday present ever.”

“I knew you’d be happy. You’ve wanted to go out on your journey for a long time now. Your father thought the time was right, and I…”

Cris looked at his mum curiously, as she just trailed off. There was silence for a few moments, and Cris started to look around the room he was about to spend his last night in for a long time. The Pokémon posters on the walls, the small TV on the table beside his bed, his small collection of memorabilia… All material things that seemed to mean very little now.

Then, with little warning, his mother embraced him in her arms, like any mother would do to their only child leaving to fulfil their dream.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Cris. I want you to do one thing for me. Have the time of your life out there. It’s a great big world, and I want you to promise me you’ll have fun, make new friends, and most importantly, try your hardest,” Lea said with a tear falling from her eye. Her lips trembled as her words came out, her grip around her son tight.

“Mum… Thank you. I will, I promise.” He put Eevee’s ball down on the bed, and hugged his mother tightly.

In the doorway, his dad looked on proudly, at the two people he loved more than any other, wiping his eyes dry.
 

xXPorygonXx

Sort of active
Nice chapter. Could be just a bit longer, though. To me it seems short, without much action. And unfortunetly, in today's day and age of Pokefics, the standard for chapters has been raised. Look at EonMaster 1; he needs two posts for one chapter. Good start, but don't be afraid to make your chapters longer. And if its a week before we see a chapter, that's okay. No one likes to read a five minute piece of garbage. Other than shortness, no apparant missplellings or grammatical errors. Have fun with the next chapter! xXPorygonXx, out!;137;

P.S. Again, above rant not directed at you.
 

Wynaut?

Well-Known Member
Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I think it was in Advice For Inspiring Authors that I read (as a guideline) chapters should be ~3 pages of MS Word long. So far they've been about 3 and a half, and I had more to add (at the end, thankfully :p ) so for now that can wait til next chapter.

I too thought the chapter was a bit... 'soft', to start with, so I threw in the battle scene, which I was against doing so at first, even though I had it planned out. I figured while I had the bit from Eevee's point-of-view, I'd have it recall how it was caught.

Thanks again :)
 
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