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POKEMON! A Fading Twilight

AstralM

#allthetuna
[.NP Productions presents to you yet another comic doomed to fail due to a lack of time to ever complete it]

It's.. [POKEMON!: A FADING TWILIGHT]


[The Story So Far;]
Will slowly be updated with each comic to include more and more of this world's past..

In a land corrupted by the chaos of the... humans have banded together, dividing the grand regions into small, self sufficient city-states. Trade, or any kind of activity involving going into the... is minimal. With time itself corrupted, our hero Gold starts not from his homeland of Johto, but from the ruins of once-great Hoenn...

[Our Great Heroes;]

-None so far-

[Comics;]

Prelude;

[Pilot;]
-Our narrator gives a brief and ominous description of life.

Season One;

[Chapter One;]
-Our protagonist, Gold, ventures through the rain to the Pokemon Center to receive his first Pokemon.

[Chapter Two;]
-The standard procedure for giving Pokemon to trainers is disrupted when the sirens go off, right after Gold receives his starter.

[Chapter Three; - Vroombikes]
-Gold runs into some of the intruders on his way home.


[Credits;]
-Major [MAJOR] credits to Mr. Kyledove for various maps and characters.
-Just Nintendo, for being awesome.
-Everything here that's not KD's is taken from tSR [Any major ripper will be credited individually].
--No certain ripper to thank yet.

[Notes;]
-Gimme a minute to read the rules, but if they are allowed, no sign-ups.
-Yes, the banner will be updated with new characters/Pokemon.
-I use Photoshop Elements 4 [for Mac].
 
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kiogrey

RS REMAKES
The sprites, maps, and the visual effects look brilliant! These look better than most sprite comics I've seen so far, so keep going!
I liked the pilot one, good start. :)

Though there are some issues in this, your direction of reading is a wonky, seeing that you read up to down in the pilot, then left to right in the first chapter. And a trainer getting the starter to begin their Pokemon journey is getting pretty old nowadays...

And, (this is a personal thing) I'm not really into sprite comics, so I'm probably a bit unsure with the speech bubbles and emotions conveyed through chibi-sized heads, but you can keep it like that, it's fine.

From what I can see here, this looks promising.
 

granbull guy

Vasoline
Wow the sprites and maps are wonderful keep upn the good work :3
 

AstralM

#allthetuna
The sprites, maps, and the visual effects look brilliant! These look better than most sprite comics I've seen so far, so keep going!
I liked the pilot one, good start. :)

Though there are some issues in this, your direction of reading is a wonky, seeing that you read up to down in the pilot, then left to right in the first chapter. And a trainer getting the starter to begin their Pokemon journey is getting pretty old nowadays...

And, (this is a personal thing) I'm not really into sprite comics, so I'm probably a bit unsure with the speech bubbles and emotions conveyed through chibi-sized heads, but you can keep it like that, it's fine.

From what I can see here, this looks promising.

Err, the Pilot reads Left-Right, as well as all the regular ones. The only difference is the extra line.

Oh, I know that it's old. You'll find it jumps off the beaten path rather quickly :D

As for that last bit, I can't draw, and I don't feel like making people look at terrible drawings, so I'll stick with this.

Wow the sprites and maps are wonderful keep upn the good work :3
Thaaank you! Always nice to have a bit of encouragement.

I'll try to get a new comic up by tonight. If I can't, then I'm aiming for tomorrow morning.
 
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Anton_91

Comic Trainer!
Very good sprites! =D And I don't care what some people say, Pokémon journeys never gets tiring for me! xD As long as they have alittle orginality. Which I'm sure your will have.

The things that do bug me alittle though is a) the size. the sprites are small. It would be so much better if you zoomed it 2x. b) The space. There space between the boxes are way to small. It feels very pushed together somewhat. Also you should consider bigger boxer overalla. The speech bubbles take up half the boxes.

And one more thing. Gold as a main character? =I I think the comic would make a better impression if you made a new main character (it's pretty easy if you edit one that already exist. Just changing colors makes much difference).

But it's a great start. x) I can't wait to read more =))
 

Zero Nexus

Stand up, go for it
I was a bit worried to see "Pokemon" and "Twilight" in the same sentence, but this looks good so far. Just goes to show that i always assume the worst, eh?
 

AstralM

#allthetuna
Very good sprites! =D And I don't care what some people say, Pokémon journeys never gets tiring for me! xD As long as they have alittle orginality. Which I'm sure your will have.

The things that do bug me alittle though is a) the size. the sprites are small. It would be so much better if you zoomed it 2x. b) The space. There space between the boxes are way to small. It feels very pushed together somewhat. Also you should consider bigger boxer over all. The speech bubbles take up half the boxes.

And one more thing. Gold as a main character? =I I think the comic would make a better impression if you made a new main character (it's pretty easy if you edit one that already exist. Just changing colors makes much difference).

But it's a great start. x) I can't wait to read more =))

Righto, I'm trying to figure out how to zoom in without it being too much of a pain [One of the drawbacks of Photoshop]. As for the boxes, 200 used to be the largest you could go. I guess when you're zoomed in you can afford to have larger boxes. The space between the boxes could be widened, but I like that neat little look.

Gold being the main character is an important plot device. In the normal time line he'd be in Johto. He's not though, because this isn't the normal timeline. 'Twill be explained later, because right now I'm going to explain too much. However, I can indeed look into fixing up his sprite a bit, and tweaking his personality [Gold=Nickname?]

I was a bit worried to see "Pokemon" and "Twilight" in the same sentence, but this looks good so far. Just goes to show that i always assume the worst, eh?
Ahh! Maybe I could use that later on. A little fourth-wall breaking for one of the holiday specials or something. 'Charlie Gold and the Great Glittering Vampire Halloween'?
 
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Matt Silver

Rest My Chemistry
I'm rather impressed. Visuals, story thus far - all good, no problems yet. The 2x zoom thing Anton recommended is more of a personal choice thing. I, personally, think that keeping it as is without zooming won't kill any kittens, so keep at it.

Now, for the constructive crit/some recommendations of mine: Your speech bubbles. I don't know if it's just a style thing or not, but the little 'blobs' between the text and the bubble's edges makes the bubbles look crowded, you know? Again, if it's a style choice, by all means, keep it there.

Another minor problem is how the text is set out in the bubbles. Sometimes, you'd have a line like:
"Hmm. I believe it's
a Sentret.________"
and the underline is all white space in the bubble. Avoid that. Copious amounts of white space in the bubbles is not a great move in my opinion, so either you can center the text:
"Hmm. I believe it's
___a Sentret.____"
Shorten the bubble, center a little, so it all fits:
"Hmm. I believe
_it's a Sentret._"
Or add more text to make it fit.
"Hmm... I believe
that it's a Sentret."
As another example, you did do the centering thing right in frame 2 of your second comic, but then your 8th frame's big ol' bubble had text all over the place.

Regardless of those minor errors, I say keep it up. You can only improve over time, and I'm interested to see where the story goes. Good luck.
 
Last edited:

AstralM

#allthetuna
I'm rather impressed. Visuals, story thus far - all good, no problems yet. The 2x zoom thing Anton recommended is more of a personal choice thing. I, personally, think that keeping it as is without zooming won't kill any kittens, so keep at it.

Now, for the constructive crit/some recommendations of mine: Your speech bubbles. I don't know if it's just a style thing or not, but the little 'blobs' between the text and the bubble's edges makes the bubbles look crowded, you know? Again, if it's a style choice, by all means, keep it there.

Another minor problem is how the text is set out in the bubbles. Sometimes, you'd have a line like:
"Hmm. I believe it's
a Sentret.________"
and the underline is all white space in the bubble. Avoid that. Copious amounts of white space in the bubbles is not a great move in my opinion, so either you can center the text:
"Hmm. I believe it's
___a Sentret.____"
Shorten the bubble, center a little, so it all fits:
"Hmm. I believe
_it's a Sentret._"
Or add more text to make it fit.
"Hmm... I believe
that it's a Sentret."
As another example, you did do the centering thing right in frame 2 of your second comic, but then your 8th frame's big ol' bubble had text all over the place.

Regardless of those minor errors, I say keep it up. You can only improve over time, and I'm interested to see where the story goes. Good luck.
Ahh, yes, I try to avoid that as much as possible, and I apparently need to try harder.
Thank you though, for the advice.
Those blobs are indeed a style choice, thank you for recognizing that little detail [That they are style choices] :D
Nice to see that you're still active in the Comic sections, even if you aren't actually making any comics.
 
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AstralM

#allthetuna
And there's the third one. A little later than I would have liked, but oh well.
I know this is terrible timing and everything, but I have to announce that over the week I will be gone at camp. Now, that's not an excuse for you guys to let this sink all the way over to page three. Criticism, comments, or compliments are always nice to have.
...
As for the comic, it's not super brilliant, but it's passable. Some of the conversations are a bit awkward, so the comic may be edited over the day.
Enjoy!
 
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