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Pokemon Academy: Dedication Through Light and Darkness

Shadow XD001

Well-Known Member
The new titles are great! I remember you saying that the fics title will be a major plot line, and you weren't lying! The ones near chapter 20 seem interesting with all of the love going on.

EDIT: Woot! 100 posts in this thread!
 

buneary dude

Well-Known Member
It was awesome seeing Brad! Thanks man! I enjoyed the battle a lot and I wonder what will happen with Jessica and Genevieve. I'll be waiting for the next chapter. Once again, thanks for Brad, hope we'll see him soon.
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
The new titles are great! I remember you saying that the fics title will be a major plot line, and you weren't lying! The ones near chapter 20 seem interesting with all of the love going on.

EDIT: Woot! 100 posts in this thread!
Of course I wouldn't lie. I'm going to be having some fun with the next two chapters. Hopefully we can make it to another 100 :D

It was awesome seeing Brad! Thanks man! I enjoyed the battle a lot and I wonder what will happen with Jessica and Genevieve. I'll be waiting for the next chapter. Once again, thanks for Brad, hope we'll see him soon.
Of course we'll see Brad soon. I have a plan for him that deals with the plot.

A little heads up; I am going to try my hardest to get the next chapter by either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. So be on the look out for that all important PM. Let me stop for a second. Does anyone even read those PMs I send? I put a lot of work and though into those and I'd be sad if no one even reads them.

Well, until next time, I'm out
 

ilocar

Active Member
I'm glad Jyharri finally loses. and btw Shadow, if you don't want people to think there is a ship between Sydnie and Jyharri then by God, stop writing it in. Jyharri just marked her (albeit unsuccessfully) if these characters were wolves he would've peed on her. and he is SOOO jealous of Ryan (lol btw, great moment). And thank you for having Charizard fail at Blastburn, I'm finally seeing Jyharri as a not-so-invincible trainer. Still waiting on that tourny, thanks for moving it up btw. Wanting to see more of Stacy. this chapter seemed to be just kind of a set-up-for-next-chapter type of chapter. can't wait for the next chapter. Ilocar out :)
 

Shadow XD001

Well-Known Member
ilocar, what? First, don't tell me what to post in and I was just saying it was interesting with all of the love going on around the 20th chapter.

Also, is the evil team actually called Black Organization? Or is it really Team *insert name here*?
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
I'm glad Jyharri finally loses. and btw Shadow, if you don't want people to think there is a ship between Sydnie and Jyharri then by God, stop writing it in.
What can I say? I like messing with people :)

Jyharri just marked her (albeit unsuccessfully) if these characters were wolves he would've peed on her. and he is SOOO jealous of Ryan (lol btw, great moment).
I actually got that idea from assassinsceptile so I'm giving credit now.

And thank you for having Charizard fail at Blastburn, I'm finally seeing Jyharri as a not-so-invincible trainer.
I didn't want Charizard to get it right away. I figured it was that type of attack that if you get it then you won't get it again till you master it.

Still waiting on that tourny, thanks for moving it up btw. Wanting to see more of Stacy.
You'll see more of Stacy soon enough. Favorite character much? I wanted the tournament to be as soon as possible as it deals with the plot.

this chapter seemed to be just kind of a set-up-for-next-chapter type of chapter. can't wait for the next chapter. Ilocar out :)
I call it one of my filler chapters XD

ilocar, what? First, don't tell me what to post in and I was just saying it was interesting with all of the love going on around the 20th chapter.
I think he was talking to me XD

Also, is the evil team actually called Black Organization? Or is it really Team *insert name here*?
The organization is called the Black Organization. I took it from my favorite anime Detective Conan ;) The name will be explained in the next chapter.

Until next time, Shadow Lucario is signing off
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
Sorry for the double post, but as I promised here is Chapter 13 of Dedication Through Light and Darkness! In this chapter you will see the return of two characters that have had one appearance so far. I thought I would show you guys what those characters were really about. Jyharri does not appear in this chapter so rejoice! No students appear in this chapter actually. Enough of me talking! Enjoi!


Dedication Through Light and Darkness

Chapter 13: Revealed! The Black Organization Makes Their Move!

A mist hung over the forest, thick, and white. Three figures moved through the mist, two of them clad in black. The cloaks they wore came down to their ankles, a few centimeters above the ground. The third figure was shaped like a bipedal lizard, closely following the shorter of the two humans. They moved in between the trees at a fast pace, not stopping at any moment. The trio came upon a tall building. The roof, red in color, reached higher than the trees.

“Right now we’re going to meet with one of our commanders,” said the short human.

“Kelly,” the tall one called.

Slowing their pace, the three figures entered the building. The clear doors slid open as they approached it, revealing a spacious room. The counter in front of them was left unattended. The tall figure let out a sharp whistle. Out of a side door came another figure cloaked in black.

“Commander Cindy,” said the tall one.

“Damien, Kelly,” the woman replied.

“We’re here for your report,” said Kelly as she pulled down her hood.

Cindy, also pulling down her hood, handed a stack of papers to Damien. The papers were kept in a manila folder, almost falling out.

“Those are all the results we have on the new first years,” explained Cindy.

Kelly and Damien quickly checked the papers, examining a graph next to a picture of a student. Damien stopped at one person, looking the graph over many times.

“This one,” Damien pointed at the picture, “seems to be the one with the most potential.”

“Then this one,” said Kelly pulling out a different paper, “seems more likely to go to them.”

“Ah,” Cindy said as she looked over both of the pictures. “They are both in Fire Red, my dorm. Jyharri and Sydnie seem like such great friends too.”

The sound of a door opening sounded from the back of the room. The three people and the Pokémon hid under a stairwell on the far side of the room, shrouded in darkness. An old man entered the room. He wore bright white robes as opposed to Cindy’s black ones.

“Lou?” Cindy whispered. “He’s in Team Lustrous?!”

“Whoever is there you can come out now,” Lou bellowed.

Cindy started to step out, but a hand stopped her. Kelly and her Kecleon jumped out instead. A smirk formed on Kelly’s face, as well as Kecleon’s.

“Well if it isn’t some Black Organization Grunt,” Lou laughed.

“Don’t think I’m a regular grunt you old man,” Kelly said as she crossed her arms. Kecleon did the same with a nod.

“Well, I’ll be able to eliminate you here and now,” said Lou, a smirk now on his face.

Kelly made a motion with her head at Kecleon, signaling it was time to battle. Kecleon ran out in front of his trainer, ready to protect her. Lou pulled out a white ball, the strip in the middle red. He tossed it into the air, the ball opening as it began to fall. The white light from the ball materialized into a large brown Pokémon. Its shaggy white hair covered most of its face, its menacing yellow eyes and long nose the only things visible on its face. Its short stubby arms ended in broad leaves.

“Careful Kecleon,” Kelly warned him. “Shiftry can be very dangerous.”

Kecleon nodded and stared down Shiftry, waiting for him to do something. Shiftry started to wave his arms towards Kecleon, making Kecleon give him a weird look. After a little a gust of wind picked up. Now Shiftry started to flap his arms as hard as he could at Kecleon. The Normal type started to float in the air. The harder Shiftry flapped his wings the higher Kecleon went. As soon as Kecleon was high enough in the air Shiftry jumped towards him, his arms crossed. Kecleon watched as Shiftry’s fans started to glow before being hit when Shiftry uncrossed his arms.

“Kecleon,” Kelly cried as he hit the ground. Kecleon stood and shook his head, shaking off the damage. “Now hit him with a Fury Swipes!”

Kecleon dashed in at Shiftry slashing at him repeatedly. Shiftry dodged every attack, side stepping Kecleon and hitting him on the back of the head towards a wall. Kecleon stopped himself, his face a few centimeters in front of the wall.

“Tear him up with Razor Leaf,” Lou commanded.

Smaller leaves shot out of Shiftry’s fans, cutting at Kecleon all over his body before the Normal type fell to the ground. Kelly ran over to her Pokémon, picking him up.

“Now you and your Pokémon are finished,” Lou shouted. “Shiftry hit them with Hyper Beam!”

A ball of orange energy formed in Shiftry’s mouth. As soon as it was a significant size it shot out in the form of a beam. Kelly closed her eyes tightly, holding on to Kecleon just as tight, waiting for the beam to hit her. After a few seconds passed Kelly opened her eyes to see a humanoid figure standing in front of her. The creature seemed to be wearing an elegant ballroom gown, her feet not visible. The Pokémon’s green arms were extended in front of it, a blue aura surrounding it. Kelly peered around the Pokémon to see the same blue aura around the orange beam.

“Nice Psychic Gardevoir,” said Damien as he stepped from the shadows, finally pulling off his hood.

“Another one eh?” said Lou looking from Kelly to Damien.

“No, I’m a Commander,” Damien corrected him, anger written on his face.

The aura around Gardevoir changed from blue to red, her expression also angry. The orange beam instantly turned on Shiftry and shot back. As Shiftry was hit with the beam he flew back and crashed through the back wall.

“Gardevoir,” said Damien. “Hit that old man with Magical Leaf.”

Leaves appeared around Gardevoir, all a different color. The leaves shot at Lou, hitting him in the torso area, knocking him on his back. As Lou looked up a figure stood over him. All he could see was the red of their eyes. Instantly he began to shudder and quake in fear.

“Please, no,” he begged for mercy.

“No mercy here,” said the figure.

The last thing Lou saw was the red eyes of a Black Organization Commander.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks for that,” Kelly told Damien back at their base.

“No problem,” said Damien. “You’re my partner. I have to help you. I’ve lost enough people already.”

“I’m the only one who should be saying thanks,” Cindy told them as she entered their base. “I’m the only one not in danger now.”

Cindy’s eyes started to glow a brilliant blue, shining in the darkness of the base. She pulled her hood up and headed for the exit. She turned and waved to Damien and Kelly before exiting.

“How’s Kecleon?” Damien asked Kelly as Cindy departed.

Kelly looked across the room and saw her only Pokémon lying on a small bed, a pained look on his face.

“I think he’s ok,” Kelly said, her voice warbling a bit.

Damien walked to the computer and began typing. Kelly walked over to her Kecleon, pulling up a chair to sit next to him. After a while a voice said, “Message sent.”

“What was that?” Kelly asked not taking her eyes off Kecleon.

“I told the boss about the situation,” Damien replied. “I thought it would be wise if he knew.”

Kelly put one of her hands on Kecleon’s forehead. As soon as she touched him, Kecleon flinched. Kelly pulled her hand away surprised.

“It was his first battle,” Damien told her, feeling her sadness. “It’s a good thing he’s still here. Lou was probably an Admin for Team Lustrous.”

“Next time I’m going to destroy them,” Kelly said as she balled her fists. “They won’t be hurting Kecleon anymore!”
-----------------------------------------

“Sir, we’ve received word that Lou has been taken out.”

A man in his early twenties approached his boss carefully. The man and his boss wore bright, hoodless white robes. The boss looked at the man and motioned for him to come closer. The man did so cautiously. As he came closer his boss grabbed his throat, holding on to it tightly.

“I thought I said no one disturbs me while I was in the room of florescence,” the boss told him.

The man looked at his boss in fear. His yellow eyes seem to pierce through him, straight to his heart. They stood in a room that was completely white, save for the designs on the walls as they were gold. The walls bored designs of a giant bird like creature.

“My ancestors built this room specifically for the boss,” he continued as he looked around the room.

The room was mostly bare. A giant altar sat at the end of a long stretch of nothing. Behind the altar sat a chair with a desk.

“I’m sorry sir,” the mad said as he choked. “I just started working here Monday. I didn’t know.

“Let this be a warning to you,” the boss said as he let go of the man. “Now who took out Lou?”

“Some Black Organization scum,” the man said through gasps as he held his throat.

The boss ran his hand through his shoulder length silver hair. “Leave it to Lou to get taken out by the trash.”

The boss paced around the room, his hands behind his back. The man watched him, trying to always have some distance between them.

“Well nothing I can do about it now,” the boss said after a minute. “I have better officers that can easily replace him. If that was all then you can leave now before you join Lou.”

The man quickly left the room, not trying to test his boss. As he left the room a bunch of his team members were surprised to see him again. A lot of them asked him what happened.

“Whatever you do, do not make Boss Aeolus mad,” the man told his fellow team members.
-----------------------------------------

“Damien, get out of here!”

“No mommy! I want to stay with you!”

“I’m not going to let them take you as well! Get out of here before you get burned too!”

Damien jumped, waking himself up. He looked around and saw he was in his base.

“Bad dream?” Kelly asked from across the room.

“I remembered that night,” he told her as he clutched his head.

“Message received,” said the computer.

Damien turned towards the computer surprised. “The boss never replies this early. If he does it would be in a call.”

Damien clicked the message open and quickly read over it. He started to chuckle as he finished reading it. Kelly gave him a funny look. Damien motioned for her to walk over to him. She gave Kecleon a worried look and approached the computer. The message read, “Hey Damien. I hear you’re on assignment at some Academy. I was going to go there soon, but you know how Antonius is about giving out assignments. ;). Maybe I can visit you and Kelly when he’s not being such a woman. Later, Robert.”

“Why does Robert always make fun of the boss like that?” Kelly asked as she hurried back to Kecleon’s side.

“Maybe it’s because-” Damien started.

A knock was heard at the bases entrance. Damien and Kelly became very still. After a couple minutes of silence the knocking became louder.

“It’s Team Lustrous!” someone shouted. “Open up or we’re blasting our way in!”

Damien quickly typed a few keys on the keyboard as Kelly picked up Kecleon and opened a hatch in the floor. As soon as it popped open she jumped in, Damien following soon after. The moment after the entered the hatch entrance door to their base was blasted open. Two figures in white robes entered. One was a few centimeters taller than Damien, obviously a male, while the other was a few centimeters shorter than Kelly, obviously female. The two searched the room, pulling down shelves, and the like. The male walked to the computer and started to type. A buzz noise sounded as he tried to get into the computer’s database.

“Damn Black Organization scum!” he spat.

“Hey look at this,” the girl said as she noticed the hatch.

The male walked over to her and crouched down. “Open it.”

“The girl crouched down, flipped her long blonde hair behind her and started to pull open the hatch. When it opened all the way it revealed a hole that led underground into a complicated tunnel system.

“Great,” said the girl. “They got away.”

“No they didn’t,” said the boy. “We’re going to catch them. If we don’t then the boss will kill us. They killed Admin Lou so we have to exterminate them. We can’t let them get away with this.”

The boy and the girl fled the base, running off into the mist. As the two departed Damien climbed out of the hatch, pulling Kelly out after him.

“We’re lucky they didn’t go in there,” said Damien. “If they checked it out, they would have seen that we were hiding right after the first turn.”

“We need to get somewhere safe so Kecleon can rest up properly,” Kelly told Damien as she held Kecleon.

Damien pulled out a small cellular phone and punched in a couple numbers. He started to pace the room as he listened to the other end ring. After four rings Damien heard a click. “Hello?” said a voice.

“Cousin,” Damien exclaimed. “I need your help.”

“What do you need this time Damien? I told you that I can’t do anything for the Organization right now.”

“I need to get my friend’s Pokémon healed and a safe place to stay for now,” Damien told the voice.

“I’m sure I can do the first thing, but I’m not so sure about the second,” the voice replied.

“This will be the last thing I ask of you,” Damien pleaded. “I need your help Drake.
 

ilocar

Active Member
Great chapter, though its more set-up it also answers questions. Altogether it is an awesome chapter. I like that both teams appear to be evil. thats why its dedication through light and darkness right? I'm lovin' it. still waiting on more Stacy and that tourny.

ilocar, what? First, don't tell me what to post in and I was just saying it was interesting with all of the love going on around the 20th chapter.
Sorry, I was afraid of misunderstandings, I was talking to Shadow Lucario and didn't want to write that entire name, sorry for confusing you. I was just trying to critique a good story teller. I enjoy romance and such to the utmost, believe you me I will be staunchly awaiting those chapters as well :) again sorry for the misunderstanding :) :)

Ilocar out
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
Great chapter, though its more set-up it also answers questions. Altogether it is an awesome chapter. I like that both teams appear to be evil. thats why its dedication through light and darkness right?
You're close. The next chapter should explain it ;)

I'm lovin' it. still waiting on more Stacy and that tourny.
You and Stacy XD Don't worry she'll appear soon enough

Guys, I want to know who is your favorite character? After enough results I'll post them.
 

Reisude

Fanfictionist!
Okay, I've never read your story, but I've read up to the first three chapters, and I must say I enjoyed it =DDDD

Comments:

Okay, the whole idea of a Pokemon Academy really intrigued me. The title of the story is very good. I didn't understand why they were enrolling in a school, however, if they already had experienced Pokemon. Do they have a different goal in mind? Why was their first test a scavenger hunt? Sorry if I'm asking these questions a little early xD I should probably read on.

Also, I love their names. Jyharri. What a unique name. Sydnie. Very pretty. =DDDDD And I noticed the Brad and Chad similarities xDDDD I love it when names rhyme. Oh, and I also noticed that at some points you called Brad Bart. You should probably go back and change those.

MY GOSH! WHAT VIOLENT CHILDREN! *referring to the end of Chapter 3 with bloody Drake* And why was Dan (Isn't he an adult?) talking about it so calmly? Shouldn't he tell the school? Isn't he capable of putting a stop to it? It's scary that they're going after him next o.o Seriously, why doesn't the school do anything? Scary. o.o

On a sidenote: Jyharri scoffs a lot o.o

Suggestions

The story, in my opinion, is lacking description. I would probably appreciate it more if more description was added, but that's just my opinion. For example instead of:

Jyharri turned to see Sydnie with an angry look on her face.

It could've been changed to:

Jyharri turned swiftly to see Syndie with a scowl on her usually composed face, signifying the anger she found in waiting.

(That example is bleh xP)
It's just a suggestion, but I recommend something along those lines :)

The story so far seems rushed. You may want to slow down a bit. Also, I'd like to hear more of Jyharri's (Gosh, I love that name! xD) thoughts. It seems like you're just describing actions so far. His thoughts would help readers feel like they're experiencing what he's experiencing. And I don't know much of Jyharri's personality. He just seems a little...plain. I don't know why.


Anyway, I enjoyed it, and I'm going to read more later! =DDDDD Excellent job!
(I'm sorry if any of this advice/comments were hurtful/offensive in anyway Dx Forgive me if they were.)
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
Okay, I've never read your story, but I've read up to the first three chapters, and I must say I enjoyed it =DDDD

Comments:

Okay, the whole idea of a Pokemon Academy really intrigued me. The title of the story is very good. I didn't understand why they were enrolling in a school, however, if they already had experienced Pokemon. Do they have a different goal in mind? Why was their first test a scavenger hunt? Sorry if I'm asking these questions a little early xD I should probably read on.

Also, I love their names. Jyharri. What a unique name. Sydnie. Very pretty. =DDDDD And I noticed the Brad and Chad similarities xDDDD I love it when names rhyme. Oh, and I also noticed that at some points you called Brad Bart. You should probably go back and change those.

MY GOSH! WHAT VIOLENT CHILDREN! *referring to the end of Chapter 3 with bloody Drake* And why was Dan (Isn't he an adult?) talking about it so calmly? Shouldn't he tell the school? Isn't he capable of putting a stop to it? It's scary that they're going after him next o.o Seriously, why doesn't the school do anything? Scary. o.o

On a sidenote: Jyharri scoffs a lot o.o

Suggestions

The story, in my opinion, is lacking description. I would probably appreciate it more if more description was added, but that's just my opinion. For example instead of:

Jyharri turned to see Sydnie with an angry look on her face.

It could've been changed to:

Jyharri turned swiftly to see Syndie with a scowl on her usually composed face, signifying the anger she found in waiting.

(That example is bleh xP)
It's just a suggestion, but I recommend something along those lines :)

The story so far seems rushed. You may want to slow down a bit. Also, I'd like to hear more of Jyharri's (Gosh, I love that name! xD) thoughts. It seems like you're just describing actions so far. His thoughts would help readers feel like they're experiencing what he's experiencing. And I don't know much of Jyharri's personality. He just seems a little...plain. I don't know why.


Anyway, I enjoyed it, and I'm going to read more later! =DDDDD Excellent job!
(I'm sorry if any of this advice/comments were hurtful/offensive in anyway Dx Forgive me if they were.)
Many thanks for the review(which reminds me I have to finish yours XP)

A lot of your questions are answered in later chapters. Description is not my strong point, but I am trying to get better at it. Like I said in my first post the title deals with the plot later on(next chapter to be specific). The main reason Jyharru scoffs is because he is as arrogant as you can get. I tried to make it obvious by the way he talks to people and how he acts in battle. Would you like to be added to the PM list?

EDIT: They're only in the first month of school by the way XP This fan fiction covers an entire school year.
 

Reisude

Fanfictionist!
Oohh, okay. And no pressure on filling out the review for my story xD Seriously. Take your time.

I'm currently reading the fourth chapter, and I'm almost finished with it. I can definitely see that Jyharri is arrogant. I want to smack him on the head with a book like Sydnie just did -.- (No offense to Jyharri or anything xD)

And yes, I would love to be added :3
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
I'm currently reading the fourth chapter, and I'm almost finished with it. I can definitely see that Jyharri is arrogant. I want to smack him on the head with a book like Sydnie just did -.- (No offense to Jyharri or anything xD)
I will finish a review later today or early tomorrow. And go ahead. I told him if he didn't get his act together I was going to let his contract expire and find a replacement for him XD I will work on that description problem in the next chapter. Hopefully it will be better *crosses fingers*
 

Reisude

Fanfictionist!
*proceeds to smacking Jyharri across the head with the 7th Harry Potter book* (It was the thickest book I could find xD) And I'm sure your description will improve. =DDDDD The creativity of the plot is splendid. The description that comes with it are bound to exceed. Oh, and I'm on the fifth chapter. It sucks that he has to repay all that money xD Talk about ten years of his allowance down the drain. That sucks.

...I hope this doesn't count as spam o.o
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
*proceeds to smacking Jyharri across the head with the 7th Harry Potter book* (It was the thickest book I could find xD) And I'm sure your description will improve. =DDDDD The creativity of the plot is splendid. The description that comes with it are bound to exceed. Oh, and I'm on the fifth chapter. It sucks that he has to repay all that money xD Talk about ten years of his allowance down the drain. That sucks.

...I hope this doesn't count as spam o.o
Well you are discussing my fan fiction, what you like about it, and what you think can improve. As far as I know it doesn't.

The fourteenth chapter should be out sometime this week. I want to get out one more chapter before Monday because that is when the new term starts D: On no! I will work as hard as I can to get you guys more chapters even with school trying to stand in my way.
 

Reisude

Fanfictionist!
*sighs with relief* Thank goodness. Some people may consider it spam, but oh well.

Yay!! *claps enthusiastically* I'm looking forward to it xD Although I'm only on the 6th chapter (Or was it the 5th? Man, my memory sucks xP I'm too lazy to go back and check -.- ), and Jyharri just saw a hooded woman. *cue spooky music* How creepy o.o He's daring to have reached for her hood. I'd just introduce myself while sneakily trying to steal a glance on the face that's under the hood. (Oh yes. Gotta love ninja skills. >:3 )

*gasps loudly and dramatically, as if the apocalypse arrived* WHHHAATTTT?!??!?!?!?!!!! YOU START SCHOOL MONDAY?!?!?!??!!!!! My dear boy, life is currently sucking for you. I start school in about two or three more weeks. Thank goodness for that. But...it's gonna be hard to get on Serebii with all the homework Dx You have my luck on balancing your schedule. I hope your last days of summer will be fun ones!

EDIT: Okay, currently on Chapter 9, and I couldn't help but notice that you're referring to Eevee as a girl now. In the Prologue, you referred to "her" as a "him". Which gender is it? I think, 85% (The percentage is in that general area. I looked it up a few days ago when I was searching for a shiny.) of Eevees are male. It's not likely to find a female. Just putting that in there for better clarification.
BUM BUM BUM! Jyharri lost. Let the dismay ensue >:3 Just kiddin' xDDD On to chapter 10!

After reading Chapter 10...

So he didn't beat a Fourth Year, but he beat the Headmistress of the school?

...

Well I guess it does makes sense since she hadn't used her Pokemon since she was thirteen, but...Wait, why didn't she use her Pokemon for twenty years? That's Pokemon cruelty D: It must've been hungry or something! I'm surprised it didn't look around the room with relief or bewilderment and scream, "OH MY GOD! I'M FINALLY OUT OF THAT PRISON!"
Oh, and that Megan girl shouldn't be flirting with Brandon Dx He has Brianna! *hisses inhumanly* ...Well that was weird. Anyway, if she does it again I shall...uhh...virtually slap her? xDDD Lolz I don't know. Jk.
Ohhhh, what's in the egg? I'm excited to find out! xDD I liked this chapter, but I'm sure I'll like the next one even more. On to the next one!

Okay, now I'm currently in the middle of Chapter 11. Mio has an egg, too?! Wow. o.o IRONIC! And Stacy is flirting with Jyharri! *gasspps* So many flirty girls Dx Jyharri should be with Sydnie! *jabs pointer finger into the air to make a firmer declaration* Lolz xD Anyway, I'll read the rest tomorrow! I'm really liking your story so far! =DDDDDD

EDIT...AGAIN: Okay, so I couldn't resist getting on (*guilty look* Okay, I confess. Sneaking on.) and reading the rest of chapter 11. The battle with Marowak was pretty impressive. When the eggs opened with the detention slips, I laughed and said, "How clever." That was funny xD Eevee is so adorable! I love Eevees! I love all of their evolutions, too xD But Stacy and Jyharri? *stomps foot down* Strongly dislike the pairing. ...Then again, if they share more fluffiness in the next couple of chapters, my mind--being naive and containing A.D.D.--will probably accept their pairing xD My thoughts/opinions change frequently, especially on pairings. That's probably why I don't mind soap operas. *clears throat* ANYWAY, I really enjoyed this chapter. I'm gonna read the next one right away! (I'm editing this post a lot o.o)

After reading Chapter 12...

BUM BUM BUM! So the evil villain and/or the good guy will be hosting the tournament? BUM BUM BUM again. :3 How exciting! Poor Geneveive! D: I wonder what her reaction will be. WILL SHE SLAP SOMEONE?! I'm asking because that's what usually happens in soap operas xD ANYWAY, I liked this chapter! Jyharri got beat AGAIN. BUM BUM BUM!

...

Okay, I'll stop doing that now. But wow, Brad is pretty skilled to have beaten his Charizard o.o And this Ryan guy doesn't seem to be very nice Dx He's like...an eviller version of Jyharri o.e No offense to Jyharri. Despite his arrogance, I do like his character. *coughcoughIjustwishSyndieandhimwouldgettogethercoughcough* Whoa. Wasn't that an unpleasant cough? I do think I'm becoming ill...Anyway, on to the next chapter! xD (And sorry I'm wasting your time by writing all these pointless reviews. Dx This post keeps piling with text.)

After reading Chapter 13... (I promise this is the last edit xD)

WHOA! Drake is related to Damien?!?!?!?!?!!!! *opens mouth to say, "BUM BUM BUM," but starts coughing uncontrollably instead* o.o Okkkayyy...I really wasn't expecting that. I can't tell who the good guys/bad guys are. I think that the leaders of both organizations, however, are related. To me, they seem like brothers. *shrug* It's a weak estimate, but I'm going with it. Lou was killed. Poor guy Dx And that was clever for Kelly and Damien not to use the hatch. I can't wait for the next chapter =DDDDD Oh, and the description is gradually getting better! Excellent! =DDDDD

I'm completely attached to this fic now. Just to check, I'm on the PM list, right?
 

Shadow Lucario

Lone Vanguard
Reisude said:
Just to check, I'm on the PM list, right?
Yes you are XD And about the JyharrixSydnie thing, everyone is saying that for some odd reason XD If it happens then it happens, but as of now they are just friends *cough* Now you're getting me sick! I will probably have the next chapter up by Sunday.
 

Reisude

Fanfictionist!
Yes you are XD And about the JyharrixSydnie thing, everyone is saying that for some odd reason XD If it happens then it happens, but as of now they are just friends *cough* Now you're getting me sick! I will probably have the next chapter up by Sunday.
They SHOULD get together. However, that's just my opinion. You're the author, and it's entirely your decision. No pressure on that or anything! xD And I'm UBER excited about the next chapter! I wonder what'll happen next o.o (And no, you aren't imagining that. I just said uber, and I'm aware I'm a goober. In my opinion, they're awesome words ;3)

...

Ironically enough, I just coughed. Lolz, sorry I'm acting so weird.
 

ilocar

Active Member
Shadow Lucario, Everyone(that is me and Reisude) says Jyharri and Sydnie should get together because thats the way you've written it. Sydnie gets mad when Jyharri's out kissing girls, Jyharri gets jealous when she gets a new boyfriend(even though he has his own new girlfriend I might add). You've even flawlessly written in the subtle loathing between them. If they do get together in the end I'll be happy, most likely praise this story for months, but I won't be thoroughly surprise. If your not planning them to end up together then you may need to write them differently; if you are planning on them getting together in the end you've written their interactions flawlessly. Romance is somewhat my field of expertise so I think I would know how its written :) Don't tell me what you're planning for them though, I want to read the story in order, so to speak
 

Reisude

Fanfictionist!
Shadow Lucario, Everyone(that is me and Reisude) says Jyharri and Sydnie should get together because thats the way you've written it. Sydnie gets mad when Jyharri's out kissing girls, Jyharri gets jealous when she gets a new boyfriend(even though he has his own new girlfriend I might add). You've even flawlessly written in the subtle loathing between them. If they do get together in the end I'll be happy, most likely praise this story for months, but I won't be thoroughly surprise. If your not planning them to end up together then you may need to write them differently; if you are planning on them getting together in the end you've written their interactions flawlessly. Romance is somewhat my field of expertise so I think I would know how its written :) Don't tell me what you're planning for them though, I want to read the story in order, so to speak
Well said! xD

No pressure on it though. It's your story after all.
 
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