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Pokemon Adventures

4

4th Generation Master

Well-Known Member
Brendan and May are going through Pokemon adventures throughout the world. Currently they are beginning their journey in Littleroot Town in Hoenn. Who knows where this journey might take them...
Part 1: The Journey Begins
 
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X

XxGreivousxX

Oh teh noes!1112one
its not that good in fact its terrible.
preety bad plot.
you couldve made a journey comic but this...sorry d00d
 
S

Sora

AKA Snagger Outlaw
..... what the hell just happened?
 
S

Solid Kirby

Back, I guess.
Cliché Pokemon Journey with generic name meets the Fairly Odd Parents "Alden Bitterroot floats in the air" Joke, Outlaw. THAT'S what happened.

Really, this is an all time low. If you're going to use backgrounds, MAKE SURE THE CHARACTERS TOUCH THE GROUND.

Oh, and Cliched plot. New Guy gets a Pokemon, Female rival gets on with natural advantige, new guy creams rival. Yawnfest. >_>

I can tell this isn't going to go anywhere, but feel free to try.
 
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4

4th Generation Master

Well-Known Member
You could be nicer...
It will get better, but I can't make the first part that good! It has to start off things! I ought to do the second page tomorrow and I hope you'll like that one.
 
I

Infinity

Gone...
"Can't make it better?" Don't give me that. You can do a lot better than this. You can do anything with it, you are the author. You can make a comic about the St. Patrick's Day parade turning into a zombie mob riot, just in one comic!

Read up on the stickies. They will be most useful to you.
 
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E

Electrode

< give me my hands
dragonboy said:
You could be nicer...
It will get better, but I can't make the first part that good! It has to start off things! I ought to do the second page tomorrow and I hope you'll like that one.
Click to expand...
They are crits you can't judge what they are going to say to make you better so heres my one

1. ahhhh! its the dredded 1 tone eye burning backround and the people are jumping all the time ( probly because the ground is so damn feet burny)

2. bad use of line thing that was snagger outlaws idea in mutational error

3. it's not in overworld and when a comic isn't overworld you better learn how to sprite so you can customise movements

4. super bad plot if you do that plot type you better have some plot twist for us

So thats my crit and one more thing dont unapreciate the crits you get and if you dont get a good comment on your first comic then tuff luck I got a good crit on my pokemon gta version
 
B

blueguy

used Metronome!
Infinity said:
Read up on the stickies. They will be most useful to you.
Click to expand...

Actually, the stickies are really irritatingly disorganized, and Varia won't do anything about it, even though I've written up the coding for a thread which would be much more helpful and user-friendly. -_-
 
J

jellsprout

Well-Known Member
Sigh. Where to start.

It has an un-original plot. Boy gets starter, boy meets rival, boy battles rival, boy goes on a journey. The only original thing I can think about it is that it isn't an overworld journey comic. But that isn't a plus.
The backgrounds are absolutally terrible. Have you seen that the sky was white while the sun was shining? And the floors are also not very good. Where that supposed to be hills or something in the first panel?
The Pokémon look very small compared to the trainers in the second/third panels, but very big in the sixth/seventh panels.
Why is the male trainer looking away from May when she talks to him, in panel four and five?
Where did May go in panel six?
Why doesn't Mudkip look at Torchic when they're battling?
Don't use JPG to save your images, use PNG instead. Now the comic looks all blurry.
And lastly, isn't the male trainer Ash/Red? Brendan is the male trainer from R/S/A, not the one from Fr/Lg.
 
M

Magical Trevor

Guest
Okay a bit of crit coming first dot save in JPG save in PNG.
do speech bubbles in stad of words with a line to whos talking.
The plot is pretty basic you could try and make it better.
Use a backround for the sky instead of white.
Maybe try backrounds from the game.
and Mudkip should be looking at torchic when their batteling. try and improve on those things please yu'll have a better comic
 
J

Jetx

hooray, it's Jetx!
I could say what the others have said. Very unorignal, very bad backgrounds, and somehow, the sprites got killed. Why? Becuase you saved as jpeg please improve!
 
T

The Sponge

DISCO INFERNO!
.............WTF?!? This Is HORRIBLE!
"Quote By The Male Trainer: Such a beautiful day to begin my Poke-mon journey across the world"
What E'ffing World? I Don't Even See A BACKGROUND!, The Plot Is WAY OVERUSED!...I Suggest You Find A Tutorial...Theres ALOT Of Stuff Wrong With This Comic
 
I

Infinity

Gone...
Okay, okay guys, I think he gets the picture. We don't need the entire forum going psycho over it. He knows he needs to improve and I think we should just leave it at that.
 
P

Pikip kid

Guest
torchic doesn't know tackle & MUDKIP WILL NOT FAINT IN 1 TURN!!!!!!! i mean comon they're the same level
 
A

AV_ROcK-Dark-TB

Fear the light.
Pikip kid said:
tip put a really stupid person in they're really funny
Click to expand...
He,didn't say he want's to make a funny story(but If he want's to)I agree.
well as for the comic,Listen to other's and It will be better..

BTW:pikip kid,don't Double post I also did that when I was a newbie but just use the "EDIT" button.
 
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