Pokemon Angels (Vol. 5)

[Emma Iveli]

I'm Baaaaack! After a long absent I'm back with Pokemon Angels (Vol. 5). I suffered from a Pokemon Angels burn out and needed a long break. So what have I been doing, wirrtting otehr fanfics: a Inu-Yasha/Sailor Moon crossover, a Ranma 1/2 one shot, A Ranma/1/2/One Piece Crossover, an AU Zatch Bell fic that's a crossover with One Piece, a One Piece new crew member fic, a retelling of A Chirstmas Carrol but with Anime character, A Zatch Bell/ R.O.D. fic, a One Piece/ Pokemon crossover (which I plan to put on this site as a treat to those who waited long... and those who want to see my good work), an AU Sailor Moon fic that a crossover with One Piece, a swequeil to a One Piece new crew member fic where three of the Straw Hats fall into Jeukenkyo, A AU One Piece fic wit hte new crew member joining before Zoro, a Zatch Bell/ Ranma 1/2 crossover, an Azumanga Daoih/ One Piece crossover and a fanfic with a mamodo bookkeeper who is also a AMgicla Girl... as you can see I was only bunt out with Pokemon Angels... you cna read all of these on fanfiction.net. Well any ways on with the story...

Pokemon Angels Vol. 5
By Emma Iveli

Prologue:

Pokemon, over 300 exist and are known. Protecting them are the Pokemon Angels 17 young woman with the Power of the type that they protect. The legendary Pokemon Ho-oh asked them to be reborn as normal human girls in order to welcome the chosen one. While born with no memories at first these young women would come in their powers. In Hoenn 10 of them awakened to their Powers, Mina Koki, a 10 year old Anime Fan/ Ice Trainer AKA Ice Angel, Beth Tiuion a 15 year old girl who falls in love with every cute guy she sees and a Rock Breeder AKA Rock Angel, Anne Mara an 18 year old former Team Aqua member, Mina’s cousin and Dark trainer AKA Dark Angel, Maddie Ricker a 17 year old Dragon Master AKA Dragon Angel, Megan Kathi, a 12 year Sarcastic Water Trainer AKA Water Angel, April Tyson a 13 year old feminine Grass Coordinator AKA Grass Angel, Deborah Odison a 14 year old Legend expert and fire trainer AKA Fire Angel, Ronnie Sansom a 15 year old want to be idol and heir to the Sansom Fighting Pokemon Dojo AKA Fighting Angel, Sammy Bangle, a tom boy who is often mistaken for a boy and Steel Trainer AKA Steel Angel and Akane Miki a clumsy Poison Ninja Style Trainer AKA Poison Angel. On the Journey they are joined by Maggie Macels, Guardian of Ilex forest in Training, Kia Maxiop, a true descendant of Fire Angel, Missy Jiku a former Team Magma member and Maya Kiki, a Coordinator and the most normal person in the group. Now they head to Johto, San Francisco City to be exact where a friend of Mina and Missy’s live and she may the only one who can get Mina out of a depression that Mina has been in.

 

[Emma Iveli]

Chapter 1: A Kept Promise

Tin Tower burnt in the background; it was when Mina and the others had to g back in time to stop Team Magma from preventing it from burning. Flying Angel promised that she will become an anime fan when she awakens but the she asks one more thing of Mina.

“Mina one more thing will you please join the P.O.A. we need members. Please! I will be more dedicated since I got into DoReMi” said Flying Angel.

Mina just stared and said “What?” The Theme song to Sailor Moon began to play. Everything went black around Flying Angel she sighed and said “Well time to wake up”. A teen girl woke up in her bed, instead of a pillow there was a Swablu. She opened her eyes and noticed a large Persian on her bed. She began to yell.

“Eugene get up now! I told you not to sleep with me!” she yelled.

The Persian woke and left her room. She turned off her alarm clock and put on her sky blue and pink wire frame glasses. Her name was Emma Iveli. She woke up her Swablu and said “Time for Mew Mew”

SO she and her Swablu did their Saturday morning routine, watched Mew Mew while Emma hate a muffin and Swablu ate bird feed. She went online until 10:30 then watched One Piece. Then she began to get dressed. It was very special day, the day she finally meet her friends Mina Koki and Missy Jiku. She brushed her hair and teeth and told her parents that she was going to J-Town since her dad always say Bowl when she saw Japan Town. She got her bag which had a picture of Sango from Inu-Yasha on it and her Pokeballs. She went down stairs from her flat. To the front gate where wisteria grew. She let out her Pidgeot and said “We are going to Japan Town!” She held n to her Swablu and they got there in less than a minute. She took out her boy friend’s personal organizer to check the time.

“Shoot they won’t be here for another hour.” She said to herself.

She sat under the Tower and relaxed.

“Nothing else to do right?” she said to her Swablu which agreed happily.

Meanwhile at the port a ferry from Lilycove had just arrived. It the boat that carried Mina and company. Mina hid her feelings about Peter by well Shopping for a lot of anime goods and being excited about meeting Emma.

“I’m so happy we are here” said Mina.

“You’re hiding you’re feeling aren’t you” said Anne.

“No I’m not!” said Mina.

Both Maggie and Anne stared at her, they knew she was hiding it. “I’m not honestly” she said.

“Just let her act like that things will change soon” said Megan.

“What do you mean?” said Mina.

“Nothing! Nothing!” said Megan, she sighed and said to herself “I better be careful I don’t want to ruin it for her.”

“We’ll meet at the mission Pokemon Center later since it’s near Emma’s house. You can register for the league there Mina” said Maddie.

“Thanks” said Mina, “Okay according to Emma we walk a few blocks on Market Street, take the 38 or 38L to Laguna. Then walk half a block down the hill on Geary and that’s where she’s meeting us”

“Okay, we’re going to Japan Town see the rest of you later” said Missy.

“Okay” said Megan.

Missy and Mina fallowed the instructions and got to the bus stop that they needed. Back at Japan Town, Emma saw an injured Pidgey.

“Time for a Public Service” said Emma.

She took out a Pokeball and caught the town’s officer Jenny saw and went up to her.

“I’m sorry but it’s illegal to catch Pidgey in San Francisco city” said Officer Jenny.

“Uh… Jenny.” said Emma.

“Oh sorry Emma didn’t know it was you, I’ll take that Pidgey to the Pokemon Center for you.” said Officer Jenny.

“I know you didn’t know it was me” said Emma.

She handed to Pokeball to Officer Jenny who then walked away. Emma of often caught sick and injured Pidgey and sent them to Pokemon center near her house since that the also the Pidgey adoption center. Since most of the city’s Pidgey are dirty it is law if you want a Pidgey you must get it from the adoption center, Emma’s a volunteer who catches sick and injured Pidgey.

Meanwhile at Pier 39 Akane, April Megan, Maggie and Anne hung out at the Seel and Dewgongs. It was an unusually clear day so it was a nice view.

“Wow the Golden Gate Bridge is beautiful.” said April.

“Maybe I should tell Mina about what I said to Closter” said Megan.

“Don’t worry about, she’ll find out any ways.” said Akane.

“That’s right it was tough not telling her that Peter was going to confess that night and that she will gain Pokemon Soul” said Maggie.

“So you told us instead” said Akane, April nodded in agreement. When Maggie was helping with the bribe she told them what was going to happen with Mina and Peter.

“I’m embarrassed” said Maggie.

“Don’t worry things will turn out” said Anne.

“You’re right” said Maggie.

Not too long later with Mina and Missy they got to Laguna on the bus and walked down half a block. They saw Emma sitting underneath the tower.

“Hey Emma!” said Missy.

Emma turned around and saw them, “Hey Mina, Missy” said Emma.

“It’s so great to meet you person!” said Mina hyperactivity.

“Okay, Mina what wrong?” said Emma.

“It’s long and complicated so don’t ask” said whispered Missy to her.

“Okay, you two have always wanted to try Okonomiyaki right, I know a place that sells it” said Mina.

“All right!” said Mina.

“Cool!” said Missy.

A woman was on top of the tower, she took a picture of Mina. She wore a black Team Rocket uniform she had shoulder length blue hair and had a strange box on her belt.

“So that’s Ice Angel, interesting” said the woman.

Back at Emma’s house a young man knocked on Emma’s door he had black hair, brown eyes and wore glasses. Her mother answered and was surprised.

“You weren’t coming today Rick” said Emma’s mother.

“I know I wanted to surprise her.” said the young man, Rick.

“She's at Japan Town. You know the way right?” said her mother.

“Yeah” said Rick.

Emma’s mother closed the door and Rick sighed, “There goes my surprise” he said.

His Electrabuzz, named Lum came out and began to shout out “Darling! Darling!”

“Not now Lum!” he said returning Lum to her Pokeball.

At Japan Town Emma, Missy and Mina shopped, ate snacks, shopped and hung out. Not too long later they all rested underneath the tower.

“I’m having such a fun time.” said Emma.

“Don’t’ you usually hang out with people your own age?” said Missy.

“Well… no I’m very shy and well the only friends I have are ether much older and my boyfriend as well as my Pokemon, right Swablu.” said Emma quietly.

Mina just noticed something from Emma. “Is Emma…” she said to herself, “But why didn’t I notice before… oh yeah I’m depressed…”

“Hello Ice Angel!” said a voice.

All three girls and Swablu looked around. Then Swablu saw the Team Rocket woman on the tower.

“Who are you?” said Emma.

The Team Rocket woman jumped down and said “Just call me Yuki!”

“O…k” said Emma.

“Ice Angel, I’ve been sent by Team Rocket to catch you and you’re friends!” said Yuki.

“I’m this Ice Angel” said Mina with bad acting.

“You’re not very actor you know” said Yuki.

“Mina what going on?” said Emma.

She the box and opened, a bright flash of light appeared. A couple blocks away, Rick was getting off the 22 and walked to the Geary Entrance of Japan and noticed Maddie, Sammy, Maya, Beth and Ronnie staring at the sign.

“How did we get here?” said Sammy.

All others glared at her, “Excuse me are you lost?” asked Rick.

“He’s so cute” said Beth blushing.

“Yes we are trying to find Stonestown” said Ronnie.

“But… you’re not where near it…” replied Rick.

“Do you no a way to get there?” asked Sammy.

“I’m not as good as my girlfriend. I’m trying to find her.” said Rick.

Suddenly his Crobat named Dracula came out began to nibble gently on Maddie.

“No Dracula, stop! Stop!” said Rick.

“Interesting…” said Ronnie.

Rick saw the bright light and yelled “What’s that”

“I don’t know but we have to check right now!” said Maddie.

They ran to Peace Plaza, with Mina the light stopped flashing, a teenage girl was there and she had Persian ears and a tail.

“Weird cosplayer. So realistic” Said Emma.

“This is Persia, a Pokemon Monster” said Yuki.

“O…k” said Emma.

“No Persia attack Ice Angel.” said Yuki.

The Pokemon Monster ran to Mina began to use Fury Swipes. Mina dodged every single time. On the final doge she knew she had to transform.

“Sorry I kept this from you Emma” said Mina.
“No way! I’m so jealous, you’re a Magical Girl!” said Emma.

“I should have figured that what she was said” said Mina.

Rick and others got there. He was shocked what he saw. “What are those!” he said.

“One of them is a Pokemon Angel but the other thing is…” said Maddie.

“We have to transform!” said Sammy.

All 4 transformed, of course Emma saw this and was surprised “Wow even more Magical Girls!”

“Interesting…” said Maya.

Maddie, Beth, Ronnie and Sammy felt something from Emma.

“That girl…” said Maddie.

“Can we talk about it later… Emma run away” said Mina.

“Okay.” said Emma.

Persia since Emma’s powers and went to attack her.

“Oh did I forget to mention that Persia can sense Pokemon Angels who haven’t awakened yet.” said Yuki.

Persia began to use a Shock Wave attack, but Rick let out Lum and it took the attack for Emma.

“Rick! Thank you1” said Emma.

Persia ran over to Rick and used Scratch on his arm. Emma was shocked at this.

“You should have done that!” she said.

She closed her eyes, her hair grew longer and turned light blue. She grew wings that matched her hair. Her clothes changed to beautiful robes and her glasses disappeared. She grew wings that matched her hair. She was indeed Flying Angel.

“How dare you hurt my boyfriend, I’m going to make you fly away!” said Emma doing her speech.

“Whoa!” said Rick who was only scratched. Dracula and Swablu went over to Emma, and Zubat, Beautifly, Salamence, Altaria Skarmory, Pidgeot and Wingul came out of their Pokeballs. They began to glow Light Blue and the glow went in Emma.

“Flying Windy Flash!” said Emma, a big gust of wind picked up Persia and tossed her onto a rocky part of the fountain.

“I’ll finish it!” said Ronnie, she took out her wand and her attack but nothing to Persia.

“You need something more powerful” said Yuki.

“I know… Mina use a Pokemon Soul!” said Maddie.

“But…” said Mina.

“So what if it reminds of Peter how else are we going to get rid of it?” said Sammy.

“Okay.” Said Mina she thought about what to do, she took out her wand. “Dewgong Soul!”

Her roes became white like a Dewgong and her wand became almost crystal and the only thing stayed the same was the Crystal on top. “Sea Lion Dewgong Soul!” A white Beam hit Persia and it vanishes in a strange black light all there was left was a crystal that broke in two and strand of Persian fur that flew away.

“Wow, new Region, new formula” said Sammy.

“I’ll be back” said Yuki and she leapt on the top of building a jumped away.

Emma detransformed and looked at Rick, he was fine but didn’t know what he would do.

“Rick…” said Emma.

“Emma, are you a Magical Girl...” said Rick.

“I guess so…” said Emma.

“That’s so cool!” said Rick.

This remark made her very happy; she ran to him and was about to kiss him however Lum got in the way “Devine Retribution!” said Lum.

“You taught Lum… how to say that?” said Emma.

“Yeah…” said Rick.

Dracula began to nibble on Ronnie who detransformed. “Hello ladies.” He said.

“I can understand Dracula and he sounds like Sanji….” said Emma.

“Emma you can understand all flying types.” said Swablu.

“Really that’s cool but a little creepy” said Emma.

“Darling! Darling! Darling!” said Lum.

Rick’s Sneasel Ryoko came out and said “Look Lum, I love Rick too but I’ve accepted that he loves Emma!”

“Darling! Darling!” said Lum.

“Why you!” said Ryoko.

The two Pokemon began to fight. “Stop it you two!” said Rick.

“Hey how often does this happen?” asked Missy.

“Everyday…” said Emma.

“Everyday?!” yelled everyone else.

After everything got settled they discussed about Emma.

“So you should join us” said Mina.

“I know but…” said Emma.

“Don’t worry Emma, I’ll join you too” said Rick.

“Rick…” said Emma.

They to hug each other and Lum didn’t try to attack. Mina looked at this and blushed.

“Hey I just remembered something!” said Maya.

“What?” said Missy.

“I remember that when went back in time Flying Angel promised Mina that she would become an anime fan” said Maya.

“Well it sure looks like she kept it” said Maddie.

As the days went by Emma told her family about how she’s a Pokemon Angel and that she and were Rick were going on a Journey with the rest. The rest of the group went all over San Francisco City. When the day came they Emma went to the Pokemon center to say good bye to Nurse Joy.

“It’s a shame that you‘re leaving you had such a gift for catching them.” said Nurse Joy.

“I know.” said Emma.

“Oh both Jenny and I got this for. Since you’re seeing the world” said Nurse Joy.

She handed Emma a blue Pokedex. “Thanks!” said Emma.

“It even logs in what Pokemon you have seen this way you can finally live up to your dream” said Nurse Joy.

“All right” said Emma, she let out all three of her Pokemon and test out her Pokedex.

“Pidgeot, the Bird Pokemon. When Hunting it skims the surface of water at high speed to pick off unwary prey such as Magikarp” said the Pokedex.

And she began to it to Swablu and Wingul. Later she did the other flying Pokemon of the group. Later they left San Francisco City.

“I’m going to miss it” said Emma.

“Me too” said Rick.

Mina began to show her depression, “Say what’s wrong with her?” asked Rick.

“Don’t ask its long and complicated.” said Kia.

“Well Mina you should cheer up soon because after New Bark Town we are heading to Violet City” said Maggie.

“I know…” said Mina.

And so the group headed to New Bark town not knowing that happy surprise waited.

 

[Emma Iveli]

Chapter 2: Mina’s Heart

And so the group with two new members things were well interesting. Everyone needed to get used to Lum and her fits as well as Dracula. It didn’t help that both Emma and Rick were anime fans so in other words it was a whole experience for everyone. However Mina’s couldn’t hide her depression anymore.

“Can we take rest... I need a rest” said Mina, the air around her was black.

“That is very creepy” said Emma.

Everyone else nodded that night after dinner Mina went right to bed. Emma asked “I think we should ask about what’s going on”.

“We do need to know” said Rick.

“Okay…” said Maggie and all of them told the story about Mina and Peter. Both Mina and Rick were surprised at this.

“It does sound like something from Rumiko Takashi” said Emma.

“It does…” said Rick.

“Any ways I think the reason it got worse is because Rick came along. But I have a surprise for her” said Megan.

“Let me guess you told his Cloyster that it may find you so Mina would be happy” said Mina.

Megan nodded and Emma looked at Mina sleeping. “Mina does want to be with him so much, yet she doesn’t want him hurt. If it wasn’t for the fact Rick gets polarized once a week because f Lum, I wouldn’t have let him joined ether…” said Emma.

“You wouldn’t have…” said Rick.

“I would like to be safe but I hate to be rude but Lum does injure you a lot…” said Emma.

“I know” said Rick who began to laugh.

“You two love each other don’t you?” asked Maggie.

“Well…” said Emma blushing, Rick was blushing too.

“I can tell” said Maggie.

Down the road Matt and Peter were making camp, they were in Johto after all. Peter wanted to mess with Mina a bit before revealing that he was there.

“So you say Wassup! A lot” said Peter to his Cloyster who was out.

“You shouldn’t mess with her” said Matt.

“I know… but it might mea her happy” said Peter.

“Ot think she might have gone insane…” said Matt.

Peter just stared at him, “I doubt it” he said.

The next morning everyone but Mina was up, so Emma woke her up by doing karaoke right next to her, the song was Dream Ship which is a very loud song.

“All right, all right! I’m up” said Mina and Emma stopped.

“Wassup!” said voice, she began to look around.

“Peter…” she said, “did anyone else hear that?”

“Hear what?” said Emma.

“I guess it was my mind” said Mina.

Later as they walked Mina kept on hearing wassup, Megan heard it too but she knew it was Cloyster.

“That’s it! I’ve officially gone insane!” screamed Mina.

“What?” said Emma.

“I keep on hearing Wassup! Wassup!” said Mina.

“Like the Budweiser commercial?” said Rick.

“Peter would often say that when he entered” said Deborah.

Anne heard something, “I think I just heard a Cloyster” she said.

“Did you say Closter?” asked Mina.

She sensed a Cloyster nearby, a Cloyster she knew. She took out her mallet and threw it like a boomerang into some bushes. Inside those bushes Matt, Peter and Cloyster saw it coming. Matt ran a few feet away and Cloyster used Withdrawal in less than a second.

“Hey come on!” said Peter.

“You made the bed not sleep in it!” said Matt.

The mallet hit Peter in the head. Mina went in to the bushes.

“Peter! I told you to stay put!” said Mina.

“I’m ttary but I bouln’t” said Peter.

“Get he’s a concussion…” said Maggie.

She went into the bushes and healed him quickly then ran like the wind.

“Maggie why did you heal him?” yelled Emma.

“What else was I suppose to do, he had another concussion” said Maggie.

“As I said, I sorry I couldn’t… I just couldn’t…” said Peter.

“I’ll give you a reason to go back!” said Mina.

She lifted up a large bolder over her head. Missy and Anne grabbed Mina to make her stop Maggie got in-between Mina and Peter.

“Look I think we act like civilized people right now!” said Maggie.

Mina put down the large bolder, “I just don’t want to talk okay” she said. She transformed and used blizzard. She was gone.

“That was like a Rumiko Takashi anime…” said Emma and both Rick and Swablu nodded.

“Mina…” said Peter.

“Is it safe now?” said Matt coming out the bushes.

“Yeah…” said Maggie.

“So what are we going to do?” said Ronnie.

“Well any attempt to search for her, she’ll just run away. Since she has the ability to sense Ice Pokemon and those who she has connections with she’ll just run away.” said Kia.

“Connections?” said everyone else but Deborah/

“I think you left that out… said Deborah.

“Okay, Pokemon Angels are connected to each other although many connections are indirect. These connections are created by two type Pokemon thus creating link between Pokemon Angels. Mina is connected to Anne, Megan and Emma. If she senses on of them she’ll probably fly away same if we try to use one of the Ice Pokemon she knows of, she’ll also fly away. However Mina’s too depressed to notice anything right now, so much according to her she didn’t realize Emma’s flying Angel until after an hour” said Kia.

“Yeah and…” said Emma.

“Um… you is she?” asked Peter.

“I’m Emma, I’m Flying Angel” she said.

“The thing is that I don’t think Mina noticed Ryoko” said Kia.

Rick took out Ryoko’s Pokeball and said “I guess you’re right, she hasn’t even ganged her yet.”

“Who’s he? And who’s this Ryoko?” said Peter.

“I’m Rick, Emma’s boyfriend and Ryoko my Sneasel” he said.

“Then why did he get to join you?” asked Peter.

“Well it’s rather complicated” said Emma.

“Make it short.” said Peter.

“All right, Emma I know this may seem odd…” said Rick, he pointed to his cheek and Emma kissed it. Lum came out of her Pokeball.

“Divine Retribution!” said Lum.

“O…k, because his Electrabuzz shocks him all the time?” said Peter.

“Yeah…” said Emma.

Rick fell to the ground he became paralyzed, “Oh no!” said Emma.
“Don’t worry…” said Anne. She transformed and used her healing attack on him. And he was no longer paralyzed.

“Wow how did you that?” asked Emma.

“Well I guess I can explain while they search since both of us have to stay back” said Anne.

Peter, Rick, Maggie, Missy, and Matt were the search party while everyone else stayed back. About 20 minutes later they got to a lake and Mina was sitting there crying.

“Mina…” said Peter.

“How did you find me so fast?” she said. She saw a Sneasel then she said “Where did that Sneasel come from?”

“Kia was right, she didn’t notice Ryoko” said Rick.

Peter walked up to Mina and said “I know that I came here but it hard not to be near you… I’m sorry, I know you want me to safe. But I think I can protect myself” said Peter.

“Promise me you get killed” said Mina.

“Okay, I promise, I won’t get killed” said Peter.

Peter helped Mina up and they headed back to camp. Meanwhile at camp Anne was finishing her explanation on the wands.

“So in other words I have to wait” said Emma.

“Basically” said Anne.

“All right!” said Emma.

“So where’s that traitor!” said a voice.

Everyone looked up and saw Mari Sendo in a tree.

“Long time no see” said Mari.

Emma noticed she had a box on her belt similar to the one Yuki had on. She jumped down form the tree.

“Do any of you remember me?” said Mari Sendo.

“Uh… you’re that Team Magma that tried to prevent Tin Tower from burning, Yukari Tendo” said Megan.

“Mari Sendo!” said Mari, “Well I see a few faces that I haven’t seen before”

She opened the box and a strange woman wearing all black with had horns appeared.

“Great another Pokemon Monster!” said Emma.

“Go! Dooma!” said Mari.

“Dooma that a cheesy name” said Sammy.

“Well that’s what happens when there a monster of the day formula. Stupid names.” said Emma.

“Now Dooma, use your flame thrower!” said Mari.

Domma’s attack surrounded them, “Okay, it’s my turn!” said Megan.

She transformed and did Hydro Pump but nothing happened.

“Great…” said Megan.

“I’ll go next!” said Beth she transformed and used San Storm, it made it worse.

“Great…” said Beth.

“I have an idea…” said Anne.

“What is it?” said everyone else.

“Mina help us now!” screamed Anne.

As they were walking back Mina sensed that they were in danger.

“Maggie, teleport us to the camp now! They need my help” said Mina.

“Okay!” said Maggie.

She teleported all of them to the camp, and saw the fire surrounded every one as we3ll as Dooma and Mari.

“Hey isn’t that Maria Mendou?” said Mina.

“Mari Sendo!” said Mari.
“Please help Mina!” said Megan.

“Why am I getting Deijavu?” said Emma.

“Didn’t the exact same thing happen in one of your fanfics?” said Missy.

“Oh yeah” said Emma.

“I know what to do” said Mina.

She transformed, she thought of which Pokemon to do, she took out her wand “Cloyster Soul!” she said. Her robes changed to purple but her wand changed a lot, it was no longer a wand, but a gem in a clam shape and the crystal was like a pearl.

“The wand…” said Mina.

“Wow, I guess pending on the Pokemon the wand won’t be a wand.” said Maggie.

“Water Pulse!” said Mina and the wave of pulsating water put out the fire.

“How2 can you do that?” said Mari.

“Because I have the power” said Mina.

“How an 80’s reference” said Rick.

“Bivalve Cloyster Soul!” said Mina.

A blue beam of light hit Dooma and much like Persia is disappeared except for a Crystal that broke in two and a strand of Houndoom fur. Deborah picked it up.

“I see what they are doing…” she said.

“I have to go see ya later!” said Mari and she ran away.

“So what did you figure out?” asked Mina.

“How they are making Pokemon Monsters, they are putting fur of a Pokemon in something to create a monster” said Deborah.

“So it looks like because of this we have to be really careful” said Anne.

“Well other than that I have good news” said Mina.

“What is it?” said Maddie.

That night they were doing karaoke, Emma sang Tsuki to Taiyou from One Piece. Mina and Peter sat next to each other holding hands. They are an official couple now. Mina had a better use of her mallet now, she’s going to hit Megan with instead of fan.

 

[Emma Iveli]

Chapter 3: Hypno’s Revenge

The larger group headed to New Bark. Mina and Peter ran a race there much like an anime opening.

“Why does that remind me of an anime opening” asked Missy.

“I know it does” said Emma.

A strange psychic blast appeared, it was headed to Peter but Mina transformed, and grabbed him before the attack hit him. They looked up and saw Hypno floating in mid air. He glared at them and then teleported away.

“Great they’re here!” said Mina.

“Who are they?” asked Emma.

“Lily and her newly acquired Hypno” said Anne.

“That doesn’t tell us much” said Emma.

Anne told them the story of her past to Emma and Rick. Both of them never heard of Team Aqua or Team Magma before but they knew they were evil.

“So its old trainer, did he quit?” said Rick.

“Yeah, maybe we should ask him for about Hypno” said Anne.

“Well New Bark Town is not too far away” said Mina.

They headed to new Bark town and got to the Pokemon Center. Anne called Jonathan and Jennifer’s house. Jonathan picked up since Jennifer was busy at the Egg Shop.

“Hello.” said Jonathan.

“Give us answers now!” yelled Sammy who answered the phone before Anne could even answer.

“Sammy…” said Jonathan.

Both Emma and Mina pulled her away so that Anne could talk to him. “Sorry…” said Anne.

“Why are you calling now? You Jennifer is at work” said Jonathan.

“No it’s you I want to talk to” said Anne.
“Hypno showed up, didn’t he” said Jonathan.

“I know in way he controlled you as well so tell me. About Hypno’s powers. The only thing we know is that he’s possessed by a Dark Sprit and that’s all” said Anne.

“I think you said the answer your self” said Jonathan, “But since we last saw each other I’ve been doing studying about Dark Sprits. There are three Kinds: Angelic, Poke and Depressed. Angelic are sprits similar to Pokemon Angels, they look human but they are not they have powers that differ from Pokemon, Depressed are souls of the dead, sadness and hatred turn them into Dark Sprits and Poke are Dark Sprits who can not take a shape or form so they put themselves in inside unborn Pokemon eggs. Hypno is Poke, the only way to stop Hypno is exorcise the Dark Sprit from its body.”

“How do we do that?” asked Anne.

“You can’t do it yet because only one Person can do it and that person is a Pokemon Angel, Psychic Angel. If it was a different Pokemon with one of 10 types that you guys are then it would be easy but for now, it will take awhile…” said Jonathan.

“Great…” said Anne.

“But if some how if it leaves its body you can destroy the sprit” said Jonathan.

“Okay thanks, oh yeah we found the 11th Pokemon Angel” said Anne.

“I think I saw her pull away Sammy was she the girl with the brown hair and glasses.” said Jonathan.

“That’s the girl. Her boyfriend’s also here. Matt and Peter also joined too” said Anne.

“Oh yeah one more thing. Team Aqua has a plan to make creatures made from Pokemon DNA.” said Jonathan.

“Too late… Team Magma and also Team Rocket who’s also after us is also doing that” said Anne.

“Oh I see… I’ll tell how they are made, a special crystal is uses, when you put in a strand of future, a scales or part of a shell then it becomes a Pokemon Monster.” said Jonathan.

“Wow… Okay, since you did your studying on the matter on Dark Sprits I think we’ll call you in that matter” said Anne.

“Okay” said Jonathan.

“One more thing, how’s my family?” said Anne.

“Great, they are fine and it was so nice of you’re uncle to give Jennifer a job.” said Jonathan.

“Yeah… she didn’t have to mention that thing…” said Anne referring to the time when Mina’s father called some of them hot in their Angel forms.

“No.” said Jonathan, “Though it’s a little creepy, he didn’t call you or Mina hot did he, because that would have been extremely creepy” said Jonathan.

“Nope…” said Anne.

“I have to go now, call me anytime when it comes to Dark Sprits” said Jonathan.

“Bye” said Anne.

The next day the group left the Pokemon Center and New Bark town. Mina sang happily as they left.

“Hold on to the dreams….” sang Mina.

“Hello Anne, Jennifer!” said a voice.

Lily jumped down from a tree, and Hypno appeared beside her, she had a box on her belt

“Jennifer left the group” said Anne.

“Oh I see” said Lily, “Time to unleash something you’ve never seen before!”

“A Pokemon Monster, you’re the third to attack us with one” said Mina.

“Oh…” said Lily.

“For someone being controlled by a dark sprit, you’re having an off day.” said Kia.

Lily began to glow black “Don’t say that! Go Wally!” said Lily.

She opened the box and a young man that looked like a Walrein came out.

“A Walrein monster…” said Mina.

“Wally may look ridiculous but he’s more powerful than all of you” said Lily.

“Mina whispered to everyone else “Let’s just humor her”

All the Pokemon Angels transformed. Lily was surprised by Emma.

“The 11th Angel” said Lily.

“And I’m going to learn my power attack” said Emma.

All the flying Pokemon came to Emma and glowed Light Blue and the glow went into her. Emma stared at Butterfree, she knew it belonged to Maya.

“Why didn’t you come out last time” said Emma.

“I got sea and I get Sea Sick very easily and it last long too” said Butterfree with a whiny voice.

“O…k” said Emma, “I won’t use it on Wally but I think Mina should attack it”

“All right, and I know which Pokemon to do” said Mina taking out her wand, “Walrein Soul!”

Her robes became the color of a Walrein and her wand became a like a Walrein tusk except for the Crystal on stop which remained the same.

“Ice Break Walrein Soul!” said Mina.

Wally like all others disappeared and all that was left was a crystal that broke in two and strand of Walrein fur.

“We’ll be back” said Lily, a wave of black energy appeared and they disappeared.

“At least they showed up” said Anne.

“Just one week all I have to wait is one week” said Emma.

“All right to Violet city!” said Mina.

“Of course for two gym battles” said Peter.

“Two? I think you should know I’m participating in the league” said Mina who detransformed.

“I know, I’m not” said Matt.

“Really? Why?” said Mina

“I deiced to become a breeder” said Matt.

“So you can become like Brock and pushed to the background?” said Sammy.

“Sammy that wasn’t a nice thing to say” said Beldum.

“Since when have you been one to judge me like that?” said Sammy.

“…” said Beldum.

“We should start heading out again…” said Mina.

 

[Emma Iveli]

Chapter 4: Rick’s Quest for Mew

It was Lunch time, everyone had out all their Pokemon. To everyone’s surprise Rick has an Alakazam named Double D.

“Wow you have such amazing Pokemon” said Mina.

“But they aren’t very well trained…” said Megan.

She was right, Ryoko and Lum were fighting and Dracula was nibbling on Akane’s neck.

“You have such fine skin.” said Dracula to Akane.

“Emma, you are right after hearing Sanji on One Piece, he does sound lot like him” said Akane.

“Wow it’s amazing that you can understand Pokemon” said Rick.

“I can only understand flying types though” said Emma.

Rick began to hold Emma’s hand, Megan began to fake sick. “Sit!” yelled Mina as she whacked Megan in the head with her mallet.

“Did you really have to say “Sit”?” said Megan.

“No but it was funny” said Mina.

“Mina…” growled Megan.

“Well you shouldn’t do that so much you” said Mina.

They began to glare at each other. Everyone else stared at this.

“Say I think I lost my appetite” said Missy.

“I think I did too.” said Emma.

“But… you’ve already eaten three helpings…” said Maggie.

“I know…” said Emma.

“Let’s do karaoke, that’s what I’m in the mood for. Everyone stopped eating and set up the karaoke machine, except for Mina, Megan and Peter. Mina and Megan glared at each other while Peter tried to stop it.

“Come on stop it” said Peter.

At the karaoke machine Emma sang the first song, Only One No. 1. As she sang there was a glow in the forest. After a bit Emma stopped, “What is that?” she said.

“I don’t know, it’s clearly not a Celebi” said Maggie.

“I know what it is!” said Rick.

“What?” asked Maddie.

“It’s Mew!” she said.

“Mew?” said everyone else but Emma and Deborah.

“Mew is legendary Pokemon. Said to be the most powerful it can learn any attack. It’s also the reason why Psychic Angel thought she was leader.” said Deborah.

Rick went into the forest. Emma fallowed him as well as Maggie, Deborah and Sammy.

“Ms. Anime First!” yelled Megan.

“Ms. Mega Sarcastic Girl!” yelled Mina.

“Their still going at it?” said Maddie.

“Yeah…” said Akane.

In the dense part of the forest, Rick searched for the light, while the Emma, Maggie, Deborah and Sammy fallowed.

“Sammy why are you fallowing him?” asked Emma.

“Just a feeling I got…” said Sammy.

“Are you sure you got a crush on him since Ash clearly doesn’t like you” said Beldum.

Sammy kicked her Pokemon into the nearby tree and began to choke it.

“Never say that again!” screamed Sammy.

“Wow they have the complete opposite of our relationship” said Emma.

“They sue do” said Swablu.

“I understand why you two are, you guys want to find it out was it is” said Emma.

Both Deborah and Maggie nodded. Rick found something and he took out a Master Ball.

“I’ve been hoping this for years” he said.

He threw it at a Pokemon that was glowing and he caught it.

“All right I caught it!” said Rick.

He grabbed the ball and ran to Emma and the others were.

“Hey I caught it!” he said.

“All right!” said Emma.

“I sense a Steel Pokemon” said Sammy.

“That’s impossible.” said Emma.

“Mew’s pure Psychic” said Deborah.

“Let’s get back to the group” said Rick.

They got back to the rest to find Mina and Megan still fighting. Rick got the idea of showing everyone his new Mew that everyone would stop auguring.

“Hey guys look what I caught!” said Rick, “I choose you Mew!”

Rick let out his Pokemon but it wasn’t a Mew, but it was a Legendary Pokemon.

“No way!” said Deborah.

“What is it?” said Mina taking out her Pokedex.

“You have a Pokedex?” said everyone but Matt, Peter and Maggie.

“Yeah, I do…” said Mina.

“Jirachi the Wish Pokemon. It said that it will awaken from a 1000 year sleep if you sing with a voice of purity. It will only stay awake for 7 days.” said the Pokedex.

“At least I only have it for 7 days.” said Rick.

“Not necessarily…” said Deborah.

“What?” said Rick.

“Let me tell you the full Legend. There are very few Jirachi. The most famous awakens with a millennium comet. Oddly enough rumor has that strange Godzilla like thing appeared on the 7th day where that Jirachi sleeps. Any ways it rumored that if it caught in a Pokeball that is will stay awake until that trainer passes on.” said Deborah.

“Great… and I spent so much on this Mater Ball.” said Rick.

“Rick…” said Emma.

“See I told it was a Steel Type” said Sammy.

“Why did it awaken in the first place?” asked Matt.

Emma went to comfort Rick “I’m so, so sorry” said Emma.

“Oh yeah wasn’t Emma…” said Mina.

Meanwhile Yuki watched this. “Hmm… Jirachi, looks like I’m not just going after them this time” she said.

“I wanted a Mew…” said Rick.

“Don’t worry I’ll be as much fun” said Jirachi.

Everyone was shocked, except for Sammy and Deborah, Sammy being Steel Angel just thought is was talking while Deborah knew it was Telepathy.

“Jirachi talked!” said Mina.

“It did?” said Sammy.

“Jirachi can use Telepathy, which is more helpful than having Sammy translating” said Deborah.

“Yeah by the way it sounds whenever she translates to Beldum she’s leaving stuff out” said Mina.

“But Beldum keeps making fun of me!” screamed Sammy.

“Yes I sure do and everyone thinks you’re crazy Mwa ha ha ha!” said Beldum.

“Do you just an evil laugh?” said Sammy.

“No” said Beldum lying.

Sammy kicked Beldum into a tree. Everyone stared this.
“Beldum did do an evil laugh” said Jirachi.

“Okay…” said Emma.

“So you really do grant wishes?” said Rick.

“Um…” said Jirachi.

Rick took out a pen, “Rick don’t! Don’t wish that!” yelled Emma.

“You know what I was going to wish for?” said Rick.

“I’m you’re girlfriend. You got Jirachi… just because your going to wish it was Mew do not mean you should Who knows maybe you’ll catch Mew one day. But today is not the day. Say what, I have a lot of money I’ll buy another master ball” said Emma.

“Thank you” said Rick.

“So you’re not going to buy DVDs?” asked Megan.

“Well this group has DVDs I don’t have, so I don’t need to buy some, just of anime that I only like One Piece and Ah, My Goddess” said Emma.

A large net appeared and it caught Jirachi. “I’m back” said Yuki holing the net that held Jirachi.

“Yuki!” said Mina.

“You know her?” said Anne.

“She must be that Team Rocket member from San Francisco City” said Megan.

“That’s right I have the Legendary Pokemon if this group and I’m going to give to the boss along with all of you.” said Yuki. “Come out Commander!”

A man with Arbok like features came out.

“I get it Arbok Commander!” said Rick.

“Now get those Pokemon Angels” said Yuki.

“Yess!” said Commander with a really high voice much like Arbok commander.

“Even sounds like him too” said Rick.

“You’re not going to get us and I won’t let you have that Jirachi” said Emma, she transformed and was about to do her Power attack but April stopped her.

“Don’t! You want to get your wand! Then don’t do that yet until you had to powering you’re body for a least a week” said April.

“Okay…” said Emma.

Swablu looked at her, she went over to Emma’s two other Pokemon and Crobat. They began to build a stand that said “Wand Raffle”. Swablu had a big paper fan and hit on the stand. It had a cup with chop stick is in it.

“All flying Pokemon step right up you might be able to get to have the honor of creating a wand” said Swablu.

“No thanks, I already did Megan’s” said Gyarados.

“I did Sammy’s” said Skarmory.

“I did Akane’s” said Zubat.

“I did Maddie’s” said Altaria.

“Me too” said Salamence.

Swablu took out 6 sticks, “Only two spots left” said Swablu.

Scyther picked a stick and won.

“All right! Scyther wins!” said Swablu.

“What are they doing?” said Emma.

Butterfree picked a stick but it lost. “Too bad!” said Swablu.

“O…k” said Emma.

“Well since that leaves only one stick, that mean Beautifly wins!” said Swablu.

All 6 Pokemon gathered around Emma. They all began to glow Light Blue, the glow took the form of beams. Those beams took the form of a wand.

“The Flying Feather Wand?” said Kia.

“Whoa and she’s not even done soaking in the power” said Mina.

“Rainbow Feather Surround!” said Emma.

Differently colored feathers surrounded Yuki and Commander. Commander touched one and it was sharp.

“Mina do it now!” said Emma.

“Right!” said Mina, she transformed. She took out her wand, she knew which Pokemon to do. “Delibird Soul!”. She robes took the color of a Delibird and her wand took the shape of a Christmas tree. With the Crystal on the top a star so to speak.

“A Christmas theme” said Emma.

“Delivery Delibird Soul!” said mina and a blue beam came from her wand. It his Commander, all that was left was a crystal that broke in two. Inside was an Arbok scale.

“But I still have Jirachi” said Yuki.

Celebi came flying and cut the net using a psychic attack.

“Silly Team Rocket member, Jirachi’s not the only the Legendary around here” said Celebi which April translated.

“I’ll be back!” said Yuki who began to run away.

Jirachi flew to trainer and hugged him. Rick turned over to Emma and said “Thank you”. They were going to hug but Lum got in between them and shocked him.

“Rick!” said Emma.

“I’m, paralyzed again!” said Rick.

“Perfect timing. Light Healing Flying Feathers!” said Emma.

Many feathers came from her wand, one touched Rick and he was all right again.

“Emma…” said Rick. Emma smiled at him.

Later as they were heading to Violet city. Mina brought up something. “Wait, how did Emma get her wand so fast?”

“It’s simple we atomically assumed just because we have fully learned out power attack dose not mean we can get out wands” said Emma.

“I guess that makes sense” said Mina.

 

[Emma Iveli]

Chapter 5: The Water Pokemon

And so the group welcomed Jirachi, Emma acted as the voice of reason when someone wanted to make a wish. Sammy even on occasion wanted to make a wish. But eventually everyone got tired of this except for Megan.

It was lunch time and everyone had their Pokemon outside their Pokeballs. Megan took out a pen so that she can write a wish on Jirachi.

“I’m going to wish that mallet away” said Megan.

“What’s the point, she can just buy another one” said Emma.

“She does have a point” said Maggie.

“Darn” said Megan.

Mina checked the Pokenav, “We are near Cherry Grove. I heard that towns famous for it Quagsire. Are you going to catch one Megan?” said Mina.

“No, it’s illegal, so I can’t. I don’t’ want to catch one anyways” said Megan.

“Oh yeah we need to ask where the contests are” said April.

“There aren’t any contests here to my knowledge” said Emma.

“That’s what I herd too” said Maya.

“Oh well” said April.

“Say Emma, how did you get your Wingul and Swablu, I thought they weren’t common in Johto.” said Mina.

“Well for Wingul they are common in all areas with shorelines but they are not commonly known to be in Johto, Swablu on the other hand. I had Swablu since I was little. When I was 2 my family lived in Hoenn for a short period of time. I found her in my aunt’s back yard one day injured. My dad let me let me keep her as a pet. When we moved back to San Francisco City she came with me.” said Emma.

“So if Swablu is that old, then why hasn’t evolved” said Missy.

“Well it’s because, I’m happy this way, if she evolved she’d be too big to hang outside her Pokeball so this way we are happy” said Emma.

“That’s right” said Swablu nodding its head.

“That sounds like the complete opposite of a certain cross dresser” said Mina.

“Don’t call me that!” said Sammy.

“But she’s telling the truth” said Beldum.

“Shut up!” said Sammy.

After lunch they got to Cherry Grove city. They headed to Pokemon center but something.

“Water Angel!” said a voice.

Megan looked around and saw a Quagsire.

“Catch me!” it said.

“Sorry but I can’t” said Megan.

“That’s right she’s going to catch me” said another Quagsire.

“No she’s going to catch me!” yet another one.

“Oh great” said Megan.

After that more and more Quagsire began to show up.

“I’m sorry but I can’t catch any of you” said Megan.

“Come on!” they all said.

“I’m so sorry” said Megan.

All of them began to chase Megan. She ran like the wind. Everyone watched this.

“Boy Megan is popular…” said Mina. Everyone nodded in agreement.

“I think I’ll follow her on Pidgeot” said Emma.

With Megan she ran and ran. “Someone please help me!” said Megan.

She saw a river so she deiced to hide in it. But it was shallow and not a good hiding place. The Quagsire surrounded her. The town’s officer Jenny saw her.

“What are you doing to the Quagsire?” said Officer Jenny.

“Nothing they just started chasing me for no reason what so ever” said Megan.

“I highly doubt that” said Officer Jenny.

“No it’s true” said Emma on Pidgeot who coming down for a landing.

“Who are you” said Officer Jenny.

“My name is Emma Iveli, I’m one her traveling companions. I’m good friends with the Jenny from San Francisco City” said Emma.

“Oh I heard of you, you’re the one who has a record in rescuing Pidgeys” said Officer Jenny.

“That’s right, it’s not Megan’s fault she gave some food and they followed her like that” said Emma.

“Is that so?” said Officer Jenny.

“Yes its true now help me!” said Megan still in the river surrounded by Quagsire.

Emma used Pidgeot to get her out. When they were out, Officer Jenny said to them “Now y6ou be careful now” and then she left.

“That was a close one, say Emma, you’re good liar” said Megan.

“It comes from writing fanfics” said Emma.

“We should get to Pokemon center.” said Megan.

Back at the Pokemon Center, Mina and Missy are signing Up Walk in Galaxy when Emma and Megan arrived. Emma noticed that Rick wasn’t around.

“Where is he?” said Emma.

“Maggie’s giving him intrusions on dealing with a Nurse Joy when you have a Legendary Pokemon” said Matt.

“That makes sense” said Emma.

Maggie was outside giving Rick intrusions when she noticed that bunch of Quagsire had shown up.

“Great…” said Maggie.

“We should get inside fast” said Rick.
Both ran inside the Pokemon center. Rick said in a creepy voice “They are outside”

Emma went to a window and saw all the Quagsire. “Great we’re in a horror movie.” She said. The air around her began to turn black and she began to cry. “I hate horror” she cried.

“Emma what’s wrong?” said Anne going to her.

“Emma can’t stand horror movies, which is ironic because I love them. It’s one of the very few things we don’t agree on” said Rick.

“Well I think the only way to get rid of them is to give them what they want” said Mina.

Mina and Peter began to push Megan to the door.

“Hey don’t I have in a say in this?” said Megan.

“No!” said Mina and Peter.

“Hey we should think about this rationally” said Maddie.

“Maddie’s right” said Matt.

“But what happens if they attack?” said Peter.

“I haven’t thought of that” said Matt.

He began to help Mina and Peter push Megan out the door.

“You’re not helping!” screamed Maddie.

With Emma, Rick tried to cheer her up. He took out a One Piece Magna. “Look it’s the part with Jango getting hit… down there. It’s the closest thing to Michel Jackson ever getting hit there.” said Rick.

“Can I see?” asked Missy.

“Umm… okay” said Rick.

Rick handed her the manga, and Missy began to laugh “Oh yeah he looks like Wako Jacko all right.”

“Here’s a funnier picture” said Rick handing her a different one.

“He moon walking.” said Mina laughing.

“Get me out of this horror movie” said Emma.

Kia walked up and said “But the rest of the time we are stuck in a Magical Girl anime can’t you be happy with that?”

“But I can’t stand horror!” said Emma.

“It’s just some Pokemon though” said Kia.

“Everyone get a hold of your selves” said Maddie.

“She’ right everyone’s acting ridiculous except for Missy, she’s just looking at magna” said Maggie.

Missy was reading One Piece, laughing at Jango and hoe he looks like Michel Jackson. “This is very funny” said Missy.

“We’ll if you want us to get rid of the problem then help us push her out” said Mina.

“Hey!” said Megan.

“Okay… I mean no!” said Maggie, “Maybe Megan should come with an idea”

“All right” said Megan.

She began to think, Megan had a brilliant idea, she took a step to left and Mina, Peter and Matt fell. “Rick I need to barrow Jirachi.” said Megan.

“What?!” said Emma, snapping out of her horror induced depression, “You not going to use Jirachi to wish that Ground Angel was here!”

“It’s not that…” said Megan.

Meanwhile Lily and Hypno were watching the Pokemon center. “So the Quagsire want her to capture one” said Lily.

“Let’s make a Pokemon Monster from one” said Hypno to her.

“You have to get a piece of skin or something” said Lily.

Hy6pno’s eyes began to glow. He psychically took off a piece of fin and made sure it didn’t hurt the Quagsire. He teleported the piece to Lily. Lily took out a Crystal and she squeezed the crystal and the piece of fin together. It began to glow. She put the crystal into the box.

“I’ll cal this one Quagmire” said Lily.

“What not just Sire, something that’s not a name from family guy” said Hypno.

“But Water Angel is in a Quagmire” said Lily.

“Oh I see” said Hypno.

Back in the Pokemon Center Megan told everyone her idea, “Okay my plan it to that I plan to use Jirachi’s teleportation ability. I’ll make him teleport me all over the place and with Mina’s link to me Jirachi can read her mind and teleport to where the next best place is”

“Sounds good to me” said Mina.

“We’ll see what Jirachi thinks” said Rick.

He let out Jirachi and Megan told him her plan.

“Sounds good to me” said Jirachi.

A few minutes later Megan was all set. “Okay I’m ready” she said.

Jirachi teleported Megan outside, behind them.

“Oh Quagsire” said Megan

“Water Angel!” they all said.

The turned around and began to circle around her but she teleported about 20 feet away. They began to run after Megan. So Jirachi teleported Megan 20 feet away until there was a suitable building. She teleported form building to building. That is until she got to the building that Lily and Hypno were on top of.

“Lily!” said Megan.

“Hypno make a shield around her so that Jirachi won’t have her teleport her away” said Lily.

Hypno began to glow black and that glow went to Megan but it didn’t hurt her and then the glow disappeared.

“What did you do?” said Megan.

“That Jirachi can’t teleport you away from here you have to fight me” said Lily.

“Fine!” said Megan.

“Or should say my Pokemon Monster” said Lily, “Go Quagmire!”

A man with Quagsire like features came out.

“You watch Family Guy?” said Megan.

“Well yeah but I named him after the fact that was media annalists say about the war in Iraq.” said Lily.

“That’s kind of stupid…” said Megan

“Shut up!” said Lily. “Attack her!”

Megan transformed and dodged it.

“Now Quagmire use Ice Punch!” said Lily.

It Megan’s arm it froze into a block of Ice.

“Oh man” said Megan.

Back at the Pokemon center Mina knew what happening. She needed to get there right away.

“Jirachi teleport me now! Hypno made sure Megan can’t teleport away. I’m the only one who can stop Quagmire!” said Mina.

“Quagmire?” said Rick.

“From Family Guy?” said Emma.

“No Lily named the latest Pokemon Monster that” said Mina.

“Oh…” said Peter.

Jirachi teleported Mina to the building and the second she got there she transformed. After that she did her speech “Using a dirty trick like that is very bad, I freeze you power!”

“Mina!” said Megan.

Mina over to Megan and touched her arm. The block of Ice was no more.

“So ice Angel wants to play.” said Lily.

“I should do” said Mina. She took out her wand and thought about which Pokemon to transform into Pokemon soul. She transformed “Lapras Soul!”. Her robes became the colors of a Lapras and her wand turned into one with a pole on the top and a pole on the bottom with the Crystal in the middle which remained the same.

“Oddly reminiscent of something from Corrector Yui…” said Mina.

“Just do the attack!” said Megan.

“Oh right!” said Mina, “Transport Lapras Soul!”

A blue beam came out and it engulfed Quagmire. All that was left was a Crystal and the piece of Quagmire fin.

“We will be back!” said Lily and she and Hypno disappeared in a black cloud. Megan began to glow and the glow broke like glass and disappeared.

“Looks like we can go back now” said Mina retransforming from both forms.

Megan detransformed and looked down and saw all the Quagsire. “I think I should talk to them first…” she said.

“Okay… Jirachi knows what’s happening so come back as soon as possible” said Mina and she teleported using Jirachi’s powers.

Megan transformed back to her Angel Form and flew down. “I’m so sorry but I can’t catch any of you!”

“But why?” said all of the Quagsire.

“If I catch one of you then I’d be in big trouble with Officer Jenny and you don’t that to happen. Right?” said Megan.

“We guess not.” said all the Quagsire.

“Okay…” said Megan.

“So what should we do.” said one of Quagsire.

“I forgot it’s that time of the year!” said another of one the Quagsire.

“It’s game time!” said yet another.

They all ran away, Megan had heard that the Quagmire likes to gather round things once a year and it was unknown why. “So it’s a game…” said Megan, “Okay I’m ready”

She teleported away using Jirachi’s powers. She got back to the Pokemon Center.

“Is everyone well rested, because I want to leave this town as soon as possible” said Megan.

“O…k” said Mina.

Hours later when they were far away Megan sighed.

“What’s wrong?” asked Mina.

“This will happen again…” said Megan.

“What?” said Anne.

“Well the closest gym to Violet City gym is the Azalea Town Gym right?” said Megan.

“Yeah and…” said Peter.

“Oh I see that town worships Slowking so…” said Emma who then went silent.

“The Water Pokemon 2: Towns People Attack!” said Rick.

“We’ll worry about that until it happens” said Mina.

“And who knows, maybe we’ll find Psychic Angel by then” said Maddie.

“Hopefully you’re right” said Megan.

 

[icemew]

Your characters seem like marysues, and your description isn't that good.

Tin Tower burnt in the background; it was when Mina and the others had to g back in time to stop Team Magma from preventing it from burning

The first line of your first chapter has a typo in it, and you've got a lot of others too, plus there are words capitalized that I don't think should be.

“It’s so great to meet you person!” said Mina hyperactivity.

“Okay, Mina what wrong?” said Emma.

“It’s long and complicated so don’t ask” said whispered Missy to her.

You've got a lot of stuff like that, where you drop words or add words and it doesn't make sense. Plus you keep using said over and over again.

This story really doesn't make much sense, and it's kind of hard to read with all the typos.

 

[Emma Iveli]

I know about these things, but I getthat a lot.

Chapter 6: Three Way Battle

One night Yuki reported to Giovanni the boss of Team Rocket on a pay phone. She was little nervous but she had to do it.

“This better be good” said Giovanni.

“Oh yes… I found out that Ice Angel is going to Johto League.” said Yuki.

“Is that all” said Giovanni.

“Well I found that both Team aqua and Team Magma are after and has each sent an agent after them. One of them has a rather strange Hypno.” said Yuki.

“I have heard from my agents in Hoenn that Pokemon Angels are rather strong and work together as a Team even if not all of them work in the battle.” said Giovanni.

“So those dorks have battled with the Pokemon Angels?” said Yuki.

“Yes a few times in fact, that is how I learned they had awakened. They often mentioned them in their reports.” said Giovanni.

“I would ask why you didn’t ask them to do this but they are idiots.” said Yuki.

“I agree with you but I think they can pull off making a base in the Hoenn Region” said Giovanni.

“Yeah and Bush will say he rigged the 2000 election” said Yuki sarcastically.

“What was that?” asked Giovanni.

“Oh there is one more thing, they are accompanied by 7 other people.” said Yuki.

“So three more have joined, be careful two of them have powers one their own.” said Giovanni.

“You know even more than me” said Yuki.

“That is all” said Giovanni.

Yuki hung up the phone and sighed. She left the phone booth. She heard someone laugh. She turned around and said Lily “You’re that Team Aqua member!”

“Yes I am and I’m going to capture the Pokemon Angel capture them its honor to” said Lily in strange voice.

A black thing came out of her body, and flew away. “What just happened I know I said something to you but…” said Lily.

“Look you and I rivals! Don’t get me into this” said Yuki.

“Fine with me” said Lily.

Yuki walked away. Lily became worried about something and it wasn’t Yuki.

“What’s going on?” she said.

The next day Mina and the group headed to Violet City. That morning’s breakfast well it wasn’t too good.

“I’m hungry!” said Mina.

“I don’t feel so well…” said Rick.

“I’m hungry too I’m glad I listened to Gyarados” said Emma.

“Don’t worry my adopted mother taught me how to make an herbal tea that amazing” said Missy.

“Can you give me some too” said Megan.

“How did you beat me to the breakfast, that’s what I want to know” said Maggie, “We should stop, have brunch and so that Missy can make herbal tea, I’d her to teach me”

As Maggie was making brunch Mina, Emma and Ronnie did karaoke, of Party Night. Then a blast of energy showed up appeared. They saw that Lily and Hypno were there.

“Lily!” said Anne.

“Hypno!” said Mina.

“Hello my dear little Pokemon Angels” said Lily in strange voice.

“Lily?” said Anne.

They noticed she was glowing, Missy didn’t notice this. So she got in front with a bog of leftovers from breakfast.

“If you attack us then I’ll be forced to use this! Megan’s cooking! If you try to attack then I’ll force into your mouth and make you swallow it. And the only antidote is the tea I’m making so don’t attack until the tea is done you know what her cooking can do to a person right?” said Missy.
Lily stopped glowing and acted scared “All right! I’ll be good for now!” said Lily in scared voice. She thought about what just happened “Great what’s happening to me!”

Hypno was confused as well “I keep exposing her to my Dark Sprit but it won’t go inside her body… why. I know I’m male and she’s female, because that she’s not suitable host for me” said Hypno to himself.

“Hypno are you all right?” said Lily.

“Yes… I’m fine” said Hypno.

“Okay” said Lily.

After a while Missy and Maggie served Megan and Rick the tea and they were all better.

“Thanks” said Rick.

“That’s good tea” said Megan.

“So how do you make it?” said Megan.

“It’s a secret, with the 11 herbs and spices I will only tell Maggie” said Missy.

“Why does that sound so familiar?” said Megan

“I don’t know but I’m in them mood for some chicken” said Rick.

“So they are okay?” said Lily.

“Yes, we may have the battle” said Missy.

“Okay!” said Lily, she was about to open the box on her belt but someone yelled “Stop!” it was Mari Sendo.

“Hey Yukari Mendou!” said Emma.

“Mari Sendo!” said Mari, “They are mine!”

“Oh no they're not!” said a voice, it was Yuki in a tree.

“So an idiot Team Rocket member” said Mari.

Yuki go angry, “Look don’t judge Team Rocket by the Hoenn Branch. As the entire Hoenn Branch is idiots” yelled Yuki.

“Yeah and one of them is a cross dresser” said Megan.
Mina began to shudder “Please don’t remind of what James did” she said.

“Man-Mercury or when he dressed up like you” said Anne.

“Don’t remind me of ether” said Mina.

“You are going to go down!” said Yuki.

“No you are!” said Mari.

“You both are!” said Lily.

“Go! Mighty!” said Yuki and she let out a Mightyena monster.

“Go! Goal!” said Mari and she let out a Golbat monster.

“Go! Daunt!” said Lily and she let out a Crawdaunt monster.

The three monsters began to fight. Mina and the group watched and began to walk away. She began to walk away but Lily noticed this and order Daunt to use Ice Beam and it created a wall of Ice that blocked their path.

“Looks like we won’t be leaving with out a fight” said Emma adjusting her glasses.

Kia went to inspect the wall, she knocked on it a few times. And noticed it was pretty thin.

“I can melt the fall with just a flame thrower. And because of Power I can do it with out brining out any of my Pokemon and without out any of you transforming” said Kia.

She turned on her flame but before she could attack Maddie stopped her. “Wait maybe we should see if they are able to defeat each other before we leave”

“That would make sense” said Anne.

“And it makes my job a whole lot easier” said Mina.

“So we’ll wait.” said Kia.

The battle between the monsters was pretty long, but none of the sides would give up. Hypno had an idea. Lily began to glow and black energy hit the other two Pokemon Monster and both of them reverted back to their Crystal states. “I win!” said Lily in a strange voice.

She stopped glowing and she was confused “What just happened?” she said.

“You don’t remember beating out Pokemon Monsters?” said Yuki putting her Crystal back in to the box since it didn’t break.

“I did?” said Lily.

“Don’t play dumb!” said Mari putting her Crystal into the box.

Mina and the others saw what happened “What’s going on?” said Anne.

“Well I don’t know” said Deborah.

Mina looked at Hypno, “Maybe we should check with Jonathan when we get Violet City” she said.

“Well we should defeat Daunt first” said Emma.

“Oh that’s right” said Mina. She transformed and took out her wand, she thought about what Pokemon Soul she should do. “Sneasel Soul!” said Mina. She robes began to color of Sneasel and her wand began a sword with the Crystal in between the blade and the hilt.

“Must relate the Sharp Craw” said Mina, “Sharp Craw Sneasel Soul!”

A black beam hit Daunt and all that was left was the crystal which broke in two and piece of shell.

“Glad it wasn’t mine” said Yuki and Mari at the same time and both ran away. Lily however just stood there.

“Lily what’s wrong with you?” said Anne.

“Like you care” said Lily she was about to leave.

“Wait!” said Emma.

“What?” said Lily who was about to leave.

“I may be a third party here but we can tell something’s wrong with you. You maybe our enemy but what ever is happening to you is not good. If we find out what is going on then we will tell you. That’s a promise” said Emma.

“Fine then, I’ll hold you to that promise” said Lily.

She and Hypno left Mina who detransformed walked up to Emma, “That’s very nice of you.”

“Emma you are such a sweetie” said Rick.
Emma blushed and smiled because of what he said. Kia melted the wall with her Fire Powers but then Sammy said “I’m still hungry”

“Oh right, well it’s too late for Brunch but it’s the prefect time for Lunch” said Maggie.

“Yay!” said everyone else.

Later with Lily she was thinking about Emma’s promise. “She seems honest enough, I think I can trust her” she said to herself.

“Lily… thanks to Flying Angel now she’s unsuitable to all Dark Sprits” said Hypno he then looked at the box for the Pokemon Monsters, “Maybe… she will provide me with a suitable host after all.”

 

[Burnt Flower]

I know about these things, but I getthat a lot.

I've always wondered, but...why don't you try to follow/incorporate some of the constructive criticism of your reviewers?

 

[Da' dude]

I've always wondered, but...why don't you try to follow/incorporate some of the constructive criticism of your reviewers?

I side with "le horror mistress". But yeah, BF's right. Your story, grammar, description, etc. needs some work. I suggest reading 5 star fics and stuff, and you should seriously listen to constructive criticism.;munchlax;

 

[Emma Iveli]

I know, but right now everythign is pre written, and I don't wnat to go back and re-write everything...

Chapter 7: Flying Fight.

The group got to Violet City. Both Mina and Peter trained their Pokemon for the battle. In the Pokemon Center Anne was talking to Jonathan.

“So Lily has been acting strangely and doesn’t remember what she’s been doing?” asked Jonathan.

“Yes, it’s very strange” said Anne.

“I think I know what it is. Anne hates you so much and since she doesn’t think much of the Pokemon Angels… her soul is danger” said Jonathan.

“What?” said Anne.

“Depression and Angelic Sprits are equal in power but Pokes are pretty weak when compared to the other two. Pokes can choose to find a human host to become an Angelic. The body is longer human and the soul… is destroyed. But however Lily is unsuitable for Hypno…” said Jonathan.

“Why?” said Anne.

“Well I’ll explain. See a host must be full of hatred for one of the Pokemon and not like the others, they must not be in love with someone and they must be the same gender of the Poke that’s trying to find the host. Can you see what the difference is?” said Jonathan.

“Hypno’s male” said Anne.

“Bingo, see Hypno often attempted to make me his host but the only thing he had going for me was that I was male.” said Jonathan.

“So then Lily is safe for now…” said Anne.

“If she does find a female Poke then she’s a danger but for now it’s fine” said Jonathan.

“Okay, I’ll inform about more things later” said Anne.

“Okay, tell me something happens with Lily” said Jonathan.

Anne got off the phone and saw Emma behind her “I think by reaching out her… I think I may have saved her later on i9n Life” said Emma.

“Let’s just hope that’s true” said Anne.

Not too long later everyone headed to the Gym. Both Mina and Peter issued a challenge and later on the roof they met with Falkner the Gym Leader.
“So you both wish to challenge me? Which one of you would like to go first” said Falkner.

Peter was expecting that Mina was going to say I would but Mina was hoping Peter would go first.

“Um… Peter can you please go first. It’s best if you do then I can figure out my strategy” whispered Mina.

“Okay I will” said Peter.

Peter battle went very well, he won mostly thanks to Aron. But since it was a Flying Gym one of the Pokemon didn’t do its best. But in the end Peter won.

“I got a Zephyr Badge” said Peter doing V is for Victory.

Mina went to hug, “That’s great now it’s my turn!” said Mina.

“This is a three on three battle between Mina from Manla town and Falkner of the Violet City Gym. The challenger may switch Pokemon during the match but the gym leader is not allowed. There is no time limit” said the referee.

“Okay I choose you Hoothoot!” said Falkner.

“A Hoothoot? Okay go Sneasel!” said Mina.

“Sneasel good choice!” said Anne.

“Well I guess since Hoothoot mostly used Psychic attacks that’s it a good idea” said Matt.

“So a Sneasel, you sure did think about which Pokemon to use” said Falkner.

“Well I know Hoothoot mostly uses Psychic attacks” said Mina.

“Well you should know that’s not its attacks.” Said Falkner, “Hoothoot use Peck”

“Sneasel use Metal Claw to block” said Mina.

Hoothoot’s peck was black by Sneasel using Metal Claw. Sneasel used the attack on Hoothoot. Emma deiced to put it on her Pokedex “Hoothoot, the Owl Pokemon. It always stands on one foot. It changes the feet so fast that can rarely be seen.” said Emma’s Pokedex.

“That doesn’t’ help very much” said Emma.

Back at the battle Mina told Sneasel to use Beat Up and Hoothoot was knocked out.

“Hoothoot is unable to battle, Mina wins this round!” said the referee.

“Mina you’re getting to excited! You need to control your self better” said Anne.

“Remember my battle with Drew!” said April.

“Okay” said Mina.

“You’re a Tough battler Mina, now it’s time to see how good you’re really are” said Falkner, “Go Dodrio!”

Mina looked at Sneasel, “You look pretty tired…” said Mina.

“Yeah even though we trained a lot. Yeah I do need a rest” said Sneasel.

“Okay Sneasel return!” said Mina.

“Why is Mina returning Sneasel?” asked Sammy.

“Mina can tell that Sneasel is worn out… my guess is that now her Pokemon will get tired if the attacks are too strong” said Anne.

“Okay, I’ll get some info on Dodrio” said Emma. She took out her Pokedex again. “Dodrio, the Triple Bird Pokemon. Watch out if Dodrio’s three heads are looking in three separate directions. It’s a sure sign that that it is on its guard. Don’t go near that Pokemon if it’s being weary- it may decide to peck you.” said the Pokedex.

“That much more helpful than Hoothoot’s entry” said Megan.

“Go Swinub.” said Mina.

“Swinub?” said everyone but Peter in Mina’s group.

“I wonder if she’s going to use that move” he said.

“So using a Ground type how bold of you” said Falkner.

“And begin!” said the referee.

“Well you should know that I have a secret move lined up, Swinub use Rock Slide!” said Mina.

A bunch of boulders hit Dodrio and it was knocked out.

“I get it, Swinub knows a Rock Type move, but I think Mina used a little too much power” said Anne.

“Dodrio is unable to battle, Mina wins this round.” said the referee.

Swinub looked very tired so Mina returned it to its Pokeball.

“So you’re a very tough battler, much stronger than your boyfriend” said Falkner.

Mina began to blush at this “I know” she said she stopped blushing and said “Well we should get to the last round and once again I think you’re going to presently surprised”

“Go Pidgeot” said Falkner.

“Go Spheal” said Mina.

“And begin!” said the referee.

“Spheal, use Rollout!” said Mina.

“Dodge it!” said Falkner.

Pidgeot flew up. “Roll up the wall!” said Mina.

Spheal rolled up the wall and launched t self up into the air. It was above Pidgeot.

“Now use Rock Slide!” said Mina.

Once again a bunch of Rocks appeared. And hit Pidgeot. It was knocked out.

“Pidgeot is unable to battle, the winner is Challenger Mina!” said the Referee.

“All right!” said Mina.

Spheal look perfectly fine and everyone was surprised.

“How much Power did you use?” said Anne whispering to Mina.

“Not much.” said Mina.

“That was one of the best battles I’ve had in such a long time I bestow to you a Zephyr Badge” said Falkner.

“All right I won the Zephyr Badge!” said Mina doing V is victory.

Later they headed out of town.

“We are one step closer to the Johto League” said Mina.

“Mina the last round of the match that was amazing” said Beth.

“How were able to that?” asked Emma.

“Well I discovered it when I was training a long time by accident and well Spheal used to energy it gained to use Rock Slide. So you get the idea” said Mina.

“That was really cool” said Megan.

“Okay next stop Azalea Town!” said Peter.

Megan stopped “Please I don’t want to think what’s going to happen” she said.

“Let’s try to not talk about Azalea Town so much” said Emma.

“Good idea” said Kia.

 

[whiteabsol]

I've always wondered, but...why don't you try to follow/incorporate some of the constructive criticism of your reviewers?

I second that. You really do need to work on your description and grammer, as well as take and use the criticsm that you get. It'll make your story better.

Yoy're overusing the word 'said'. It becomes boring if you use it repeatedly one after the other.

Originally Posted by Emma Iveli

I know, but right now everythign is pre written, and I don't wnat to go back and re-write everything...

Just go back and edit it. Add more decription where nesiccary and fix your grammer and such. I guess you would be rewriting the story in a sense but this time, you're not starting from scratch.

 

[Burnt Flower]

I know, but right now everythign is pre written, and I don't wnat to go back and re-write everything...

Bad mistake. For the following two reasons:

1) You'll drive possible reviewers/readers away. Who wants to read a fic where suggestions are ignored?
2) You'll never learn from your own grammatical/spelling mistakes and you might not get any better.

You really need to reconsider.

 

[katiekitten]

The first fanfiction I saw when I first checked out these forums... Pokemon Angels.

I didn't have time to read it at the time, but as I read it now I see a lot of room for improvement. Have you ever seen Chibi Pika? Elemental Charizam? They have rewritten their fics GAZILLIONS of times. I am even rewriting mine. Maybe you should go back and take the advise it sounds like you recieved the last time.

Okey dokey?

 

[Da' dude]

I know, but right now everythign is pre written, and I don't wnat to go back and re-write everything...

If you know then do it. Reviewers will thank you for spending a little bit of extra time to make the story a lot better, honestly...;munchlax;

 

[Demise]

I know, but right now everythign is pre written, and I don't wnat to go back and re-write everything...

That's you being lazy. Some people rewrite fics to get better at them. If you know what is wrong, there is an 'EDIT' button.

SO she and her Swablu did their Saturday morning routine, watched Mew Mew while Emma hate a muffin and Swablu ate bird feed.

Hate? She hates muffins? What is that?! A typo?!!

“You’re hiding you’re feeling aren’t you” said Anne.

It should be, 'You're hiding your feelings aren't you?'

She took out a Pokeball and caught the town’s officer Jenny saw and went up to her.

She caught the town's officer? What the heck is that?

Emma of often caught sick and injured Pidgey and sent them to Pokemon center near her house since that the also the Pidgey adoption center.

This sentence is too long and it's confusing.

“Hello Ice Angel!” said a voice.

All three girls and Swablu looked around. Then Swablu saw the Team Rocket woman on the tower.

“Who are you?” said Emma.

The Team Rocket woman jumped down and said “Just call me Yuki!”

“O…k” said Emma.

“Ice Angel, I’ve been sent by Team Rocket to catch you and you’re friends!” said Yuki.

Why would someone, who wants to capture the 'angels' just appear right before them? I would say...bad capture plan.

“Sorry I kept this from you Emma” said Mina.
“No way! I’m so jealous, you’re a Magical Girl!” said Emma.

If I was Emma...I would be more speechless with surprise then jealous.

“You should have done that!” she said.

Whoa, she said that? I would put 'yell' instead of 'said'. If you have an exclaimation mark then you could at least put 'yelled, shouted, screamed, exclaimed, etc.'

They to hug each other and Lum didn’t try to attack.

Another confusing sentence. 'They to'? It should be, 'They hugged.'

“I’m having such a fun time.” said Emma.

Would normal people say that? If someone had such a good time, they usually wouldn't say it dully.

Persia since Emma’s powers and went to attack her.

Another confusing sentence!!!! 'Persia since' what? Emma's powers?! I don't get it.

Her roes became white like a Dewgong and her wand became almost crystal and the only thing stayed the same was the Crystal on top. “Sea Lion Dewgong Soul!” A white Beam hit Persia and it vanishes in a strange black light all there was left was a crystal that broke in two and strand of Persian fur that flew away.

What 'roes'?! Too much usage of 'and'. Add a comma between 'light' and 'all'.

As the days went by Emma told her family about how she’s a Pokemon Angel and that she and were Rick were going on a Journey with the rest. The rest of the group went all over San Francisco City. When the day came they Emma went to the Pokemon center to say good bye to Nurse Joy.

*chokes* SAN FRANCISCO CITY!!!! Why are you including real cities in your fic. Isn't it suppose to be in the pokemon world?!
Add commas between:
'by' and 'Emma'
'came' and 'they'
'...that she and were Rick..' <_< What the heck?!!! It should be 'Rick were'

And so the group headed to New Bark town not knowing that happy surprise waited.

It should be, 'a happy surprise waited'

I had also noticed that you have failed to add periods and you fail to use other words except 'said'. It-Is-Called-A-Thesaurus!!! If you keep using the word 'said' it will become utterly boring.

And there were more mistakes that I find in your Chapter. I didn't want to waste all of my energy just typing out the mistakes. And by the way...it's called PROOFREADING! There were so many obvious mistakes that anyone can see, plus this is only the FIRST chapter.

Listen to the other reveiwers and follow their advice, otherwise you shouldn't be posting stuff like this on the forums.

-;197;

EDIT-

The Team Rocket woman jumped down and said “Just call me Yuki!”

. Why would someone, especially someone that does evil deeds, give thier name? If I was one of your little characters I would call the police and say, "Officer Jenny! There was this person who wanted to kidnapped my friends and I! The first name is Yuki!!!".
And what if Yuki gave out her last name?! That would be a disaster. . POOF. Easy find.

Your characters seem like marysues, and your description isn't that good.


Quote:
Tin Tower burnt in the background; it was when Mina and the others had to g back in time to stop Team Magma from preventing it from burning :Quote

The first line of your first chapter has a typo in it, and you've got a lot of others too, plus there are words capitalized that I don't think should be.


Quote:
“It’s so great to meet you person!” said Mina hyperactivity.

“Okay, Mina what wrong?” said Emma.

“It’s long and complicated so don’t ask” said whispered Missy to her. :Qoute


You've got a lot of stuff like that, where you drop words or add words and it doesn't make sense. Plus you keep using said over and over again.

This story really doesn't make much sense, and it's kind of hard to read with all the typos.

icemew: O YEAH! There is ALOT of Typos.

Emma Iveli: And not much description in the story so I totally agree with icemew.

icemew:Of course it doesn't make sense, there is too much nonsense and random reality links to it. I mean she includes the Golden Gate Bridge and San Fransico City.

Emma Iveli:Usage of 'said' is getting boring. If you're not creative enough, then get a Thesaurus...Sheesh.

 

[Literate]

Okay, I will help you see the typos. I will write my comments in bold. I didn't really want to copy, paste, and quote almost everything there anyway.

Chapter 1: A Kept Promise

Tin Tower burnt in the background;How can it burn in the background? it was when Mina and the others had to g back in time to stop Team Magma from preventing it from burning. 'g' is a typo and this sentence doesn't make sense.Flying Angel promised that she will become an anime fan when she awakens but the she asks one more thing of Mina. There's no 'the' in this sentence.

“Mina one more thing will you please join the P.O.A. we need members. Please! I will be more dedicated since I got into DoReMi,” said Flying Angel. Capitalize 'we'.

Mina just stared and said, “What?” The Theme song to Sailor Moon began to play. Everything went black around Flying Angel she sighed and said “Well time to wake up”. A teen girl woke up in her bed, instead of a pillow there was a Swablu. She opened her eyes and noticed a large Persian on her bed. She began to yell.'Theme' isn't capitalized. And the third sentence doesn't make sense.
“Eugene get up now! I told you not to sleep with me!” she yelled.

The Persian woke and left her room. She turned off her alarm clock and put on her sky blue and pink wire frame glasses. Her name was Emma Iveli. She woke up her Swablu and said, “Time for Mew Mew.”

SO she and her Swablu did their Saturday morning routine, watched Mew Mew while Emma hate a muffin and Swablu ate bird feed. She went online until 10:30 then watched One Piece. Then she began to get dressed. It was very special day, the day she finally meet her friends Mina Koki and Missy Jiku. She brushed her hair and teeth and told her parents that she was going to J-Town since her dad always say Bowl when she saw Japan Town. She got her bag which had a picture of Sango from Inu-Yasha on it and her Pokeballs. She went down stairs from her flat. To the front gate where wisteria grew. She let out her Pidgeot and said, “We are going to Japan Town!” She held n (Okay, what's with the 'n'?)to her Swablu and they got there in less than a minute. She took out her boy friend’s personal organizer to check the time. Lots of references to manga/anime and what is it about 'Japan Town'? There's a fragment in here.

“Shoot, they won’t be here for another hour.” She said to herself.

She sat under the Tower and relaxed.

“Nothing else to do right?” she said to her Swablu who agreed happily.

Meanwhile, at the port a ferry from Lilycove had just arrived. It the boat that carried Mina and company. Mina hid her feelings about Peter by well shopping for a lot of anime goods and being excited about meeting Emma.

“I’m so happy we are here,” said Mina.

“You’re hiding you’re feeling aren’t you?” said Anne.

“No, I’m not!” said Mina.

Both Maggie and Anne stared at her, they knew she was hiding it. “I’m not, honestly,” she said.

“Just let her act like that. things will change soon,” said Megan.

“What do you mean?” said Mina.

“Nothing! Nothing!” said Megan. She sighed and said to herself, “I better be careful. I don’t want to ruin it for her.”

“We’ll meet at the mission Pokemon Center later since it’s near Emma’s house. You can register for the league there, Mina,” said Maddie.

“Thanks,” said Mina, “Okay, according to Emma, we walk a few blocks on Market Street, and take the 38 or 38L to Laguna. Then walk half a block down the hill on Geary and that’s where she’s meeting us.”

“Okay, we’re going to Japan Town see the rest of you later!” said Missy.

“Okay” said Megan.

Missy and Mina fallowed the instructions and got to the bus stop that they needed. Back at Japan Town, Emma saw an injured Pidgey. That they needed?

“Time for a Public Service,” said Emma.

She took out a Pokeball and caught the town’s officer Jenny saw and went up to her. What darcstars said about this.

“I’m sorry,but it’s illegal to catch Pidgey in San Francisco city,” said Officer Jenny. San Francisco isn't in...*looks at reference* whatever the region is the setting.

“Uh… Jenny?” said Emma.

“Oh, sorry Emma. I didn’t know it was you. I’ll take that Pidgey to the Pokemon Center for you.” said Officer Jenny.

“I know you didn’t know it was me” said Emma. Revise. Doesn't make sense.

She handed to Pokeball to Officer Jenny who then walked away. Emma of often caught sick and injured Pidgey and sent them to Pokemon center near her house since that the also the Pidgey adoption center. Since most of the city’s Pidgey are dirty it is law if you want a Pidgey you must get it from the adoption center, Emma’s a volunteer who catches sick and injured Pidgey. These sentences are too long. Revise.

Meanwhile at Pier 39 Akane, April Megan, Maggie and Anne hung out at the Seel and Dewgongs. It was an unusually clear day so it was a nice view. What are 'Seel and Dewgongs'?

“Wow, the Golden Gate Bridge is beautiful.” said April. Golden Gate Bridge? Okay, where is this taking place?

“Maybe I should tell Mina about what I said to Closter,” said Megan.

“Don’t worry about it. She’ll find out any ways.” said Akane. No space between 'any ways' and delete the 's'.

“That’s right. It was tough not telling her that Peter was going to confess that night and that she will gain Pokemon Soul,” said Maggie.

“So, you told us instead?” said Akane. April nodded in agreement. When Maggie was helping with the bribe, she told them what was going to happen with Mina and Peter.

“I’m embarrassed,” said Maggie. Note: No one will admit they're embarrassed.

“Don’t worry. Things will turn out,” said Anne.
What things?
“You’re right,” said Maggie.

Not too long after Mina and Missy, they got to Laguna on the bus and walked down half a block. They saw Emma sitting underneath the tower. Underneath????

“Hey, Emma!” said Missy.

Emma turned around and saw them, “Hey, Mina, Missy” said Emma. Normal people won't say two names in a row when greeting friends.

“It’s so great to meet you in person!” said Mina hyperactivity. Okay, I don't know what you're saying.

“Okay, Mina what's wrong?” said Emma.

“It’s long and complicated, so don’t ask,” said whispered Missy to her.

“Okay, you two have always wanted to try Okonomiyaki right? I know a place that sells it,” said Mina.

“All right!” said Mina.

“Cool!” said Missy.

A woman was on top of the tower, she took a picture of Mina. She wore a black Team Rocket uniform she had shoulder length blue hair and had a strange box on her belt. First of all, teh first sentence is possibly a run-on. Second, Team Rocket's uniform is already black. Third, if you know what the 'starnge box is and it's not strange, say what it is?

“So that’s Ice Angel, interesting...” said the woman.

Back at Emma’s house, a young man knocked on Emma’s door. He had black hair, brown eyes and wore glasses. Her mother answered and was surprised. 'and was' do not need to be there.

“You weren’t coming today, Rick,” said Emma’s mother. Check, he already came.

“I know. I wanted to surprise her.” said the young man, Rick. When you introduce someone, you can use their names if someone already mentioned it.

“She's at Japan Town. You know the way, right?” said her mother.

“Yeah” said Rick.

Emma’s mother closed the door and Rick sighed, “There goes my surprise” he said. He already sighed.

His Electrabuzz, named Lum came out and began to shout out “Darling! Darling!” Something is wrong with this sentence.

“Not now Lum!” he said returning Lum to her Pokeball.

At Japan Town, Emma, Missy and Mina shopped, ate snacks, shopped and hung out. Not too long later they all rested underneath the tower. Underneath, again??

“I’m having such a fun time.” said Emma.

“Don’t you usually hang out with people your own age?” said Missy.

“Well… no, I’m very shy and well the only friends I have are ether much older and my boyfriend as well as my Pokemon, right Swablu,” said Emma quietly. Reality Check (Again): No one in their right mind will say this if you had already protrayed them as happy-go-lucky.

Mina just noticed something from Emma. “Is Emma…” she said to herself, “But why didn’t I notice before… oh yeah I’m depressed…” I don't understand this one bit.

“Hello Ice Angel!” said a voice. A voice coming from where?

All three girls and Swablu looked around. Then Swablu saw the Team Rocket woman on the tower. What happened to the people who were glancing around? They don't just look at the tower at the same time, did they?

“Who are you?” said Emma.

The Team Rocket woman jumped down and said, “Just call me Yuki!” Whoa! Jump DOWN?!!?!?! Wasn't she on top of the tower??? She'll get killed!!!!

“O…kay” said Emma.

“Ice Angel, I’ve been sent by Team Rocket to catch you and your friends!” said Yuki. Seriously, are you using Microsoft Word?

“I’m this Ice Angel” said Mina with bad acting. With bad acting? I really don't understand this.

“You’re not very actor you know” said Yuki. This dialogue is going nowhere. Yuki must really be dense.

“Mina, what going on?” said Emma.

She the box and opened, a bright flash of light appeared. A couple blocks away, Rick was getting off the 22 and walked to the Geary Entrance of Japan and noticed Maddie, Sammy, Maya, Beth and Ronnie staring at the sign. 22 what? And what sign?

“How did we get here?” said Sammy.

All others glared at her. “Excuse me are you lost?” asked Rick. When did Rick come in? And why did everyone glare at her?

“He’s so cute” said Beth blushing.

“Yes we are trying to find Stonestown,” said Ronnie. And Stonestown in in what region?

“But… you’re not anywhere near it…” replied Rick.

“Do you know a way to get there?” asked Sammy.

“I’m not as good as my girlfriend. I’m trying to find her.” said Rick.

Suddenly his Crobat named Dracula came out began to nibble gently on Maddie. Came out. How nice.

“No Dracula, stop! Stop!” said Rick. The question is: Is he even trying to stop it?

“Interesting…” said Ronnie.

Rick saw the bright light and yelled “What’s that?!”

“I don’t know but we have to check right now!” said Maddie. Why?

They ran to Peace Plaza, with Mina the light stopped flashing, a teenage girl was there and she had Persian ears and a tail. I don't get it. You're making everything jumbled up.

“Weird cosplayer. So realistic” Said Emma.

“This is Persia, a Pokemon Monster” said Yuki. I thought they already had pokemon.

“O…k” said Emma. Don't they know what it is?

“No Persia attack Ice Angel.” said Yuki. What's the 'No' for? And attack with what attack?

The Pokemon Monster ran to Mina began to use Fury Swipes. Mina dodged every single time. On the final dodge, she knew she had to transform.

“Sorry I kept this from you Emma” said Mina. Right. Kept this?
“No way! I’m so jealous, you’re a Magical Girl!” said Emma. Okay, what's a Magical Girl?

“I should have figured that what she was said” said Mina. I think you're missing some words here.

Rick and others got there. He was shocked what he saw. “What are those?” he said.

“One of them is a Pokemon Angel but the other thing is…” said Maddie.

“We have to transform!” said Sammy. So straight foward.

All 4 transformed, of course Emma saw this and was surprised “Wow even more Magical Girls!” Magical Girls made it even sound more lame. ^_^"

“Interesting…” said Maya.

Maddie, Beth, Ronnie and Sammy felt something from Emma. Felt what?

“That girl…” said Maddie.

“Can we talk about it later… Emma run away” said Mina. Run away sounds like a weird command.

“Okay.” said Emma.

Persia since Emma’s powers and went to attack her. 'since'? Do you mean felt?

“Oh did I forget to mention that Persia can sense Pokemon Angels who haven’t awakened yet.” said Yuki. So straight foward.

Persia began to use a Shock Wave attack, but Rick let out Lum and it took the attack for Emma.

“Rick! Thank you1” said Emma. The '1' is supposed to be a '!'

Persia ran over to Rick and used Scratch on his arm. Emma was shocked at this.

“You should have done that!” she said. Things are getting even more confusing.

She closed her eyes, her hair grew longer and turned light blue. She grew wings that matched her hair. Her clothes changed to beautiful robes and her glasses disappeared. She grew wings that matched her hair. She was indeed Flying Angel. She didn't really need to close her eyes.

“How dare you hurt my boyfriend, I’m going to make you fly away!” said Emma doing her speech.

“Whoa!” said Rick who was only scratched. Dracula and Swablu went over to Emma, and Zubat, Beautifly, Salamence, Altaria Skarmory, Pidgeot and Wingul came out of their Pokeballs. They began to glow Light Blue and the glow went in Emma. Okay... soemthing is majorly wrong with this sentence.

“Flying Windy Flash!” said Emma, a big gust of wind picked up Persia and tossed her onto a rocky part of the fountain.

“I’ll finish it!” said Ronnie, she took out her wand and her attack but nothing to Persia. You mean 'was nothing'.

“You need something more powerful” said Yuki.

“I know… Mina use a Pokemon Soul!” said Maddie.

“But…” said Mina.

“So what if it reminds of Peter how else are we going to get rid of it?” said Sammy.

“Okay.” Said Mina she thought about what to do, she took out her wand. “Dewgong Soul!”

Her roes became white like a Dewgong and her wand became almost crystal and the only thing stayed the same was the Crystal on top. “Sea Lion Dewgong Soul!” A white Beam hit Persia and it vanishes in a strange black light all there was left was a crystal that broke in two and strand of Persian fur that flew away.

“Wow, new Region, new formula” said Sammy.

“I’ll be back” said Yuki and she leapt on the top of building a jumped away.

Emma detransformed and looked at Rick, he was fine but didn’t know what he would do.
How bold. You really need to work on grammer.
“Rick…” said Emma.

“Emma, are you a Magical Girl...” said Rick.

“I guess so…” said Emma.

“That’s so cool!” said Rick.

This remark made her very happy; she ran to him and was about to kiss him however Lum got in the way “Devine Retribution!” said Lum. Very happy sounds kiddish.

“You taught Lum… how to say that?” said Emma.

“Yeah…” said Rick.

Dracula began to nibble on Ronnie who detransformed. “Hello ladies.” He said.

“I can understand Dracula and he sounds like Sanji….” said Emma. Even more references to anime/manga. It is so plain. How she said that I mean. No expressions, no sudden reaction.

“Emma you can understand all flying types.” said Swablu.

“Really that’s cool but a little creepy” said Emma.

“Darling! Darling! Darling!” said Lum.

Rick’s Sneasel Ryoko came out and said “Look Lum, I love Rick too but I’ve accepted that he loves Emma!”

“Darling! Darling!” said Lum.
I don't get what Lum's trying to say.
“Why you!” said Ryoko. And why Sneasel gets angry at it.

The two Pokemon began to fight. How exactly? “Stop it you two!” said Rick.

“Hey how often does this happen?” asked Missy.

“Everyday…” said Emma.

“Everyday?!” yelled everyone else.

After everything got settled they discussed about Emma. About Emma?? Must be 'with'.

“So you should join us?” said Mina.

“I know but…” said Emma.

“Don’t worry Emma, I’ll join you too” said Rick.

“Rick…” said Emma.

They to huged each other and Lum didn’t try to attack. Mina looked at this and blushed.
It's supposed to be past tense.
“Hey! I just remembered something!” said Maya.

“What?” said Missy.

“I remember that when went back in time Flying Angel promised Mina that she would become an anime fan” said Maya.

“Well it sure looks like she kept it” said Maddie.

As the days went by Emma told her family about how she’s a Pokemon Angel and that she and were Rick were going on a Journey with the rest. The rest of the group went all over San Francisco City. When the day came they Emma went to the Pokemon center to say good bye to Nurse Joy.

“It’s a shame that you‘re leaving. You had such a gift for catching them.” said Nurse Joy.

“I know.” said Emma.

“Oh both Jenny and I got this for. Since you’re seeing the world” said Nurse Joy.

She handed Emma a blue Pokedex. “Thanks!” said Emma.

“It even logs in what Pokemon you have seen this way you can finally live up to your dream” said Nurse Joy.

“All right” said Emma, she let out all three of her Pokemon and test out her Pokedex.

“Pidgeot, the Bird Pokemon. When Hunting it skims the surface of water at high speed to pick off unwary prey such as Magikarp,” said the Pokedex.

And she began to it to Swablu and Wingull. Later she did the other flying Pokemon of the group. Later they left San Francisco City.

“I’m going to miss it,” said Emma.

“Me too,” said Rick.

Mina began to show her depression, “Say what’s wrong with her?” asked Rick.

“Don’t ask its long and complicated.” said Kia.

“Well, Mina you should cheer up soon because after New Bark Town we are heading to Violet City," said Maggie.

“I know…” said Mina.

And so the group headed to New Bark town not knowing that happy surprise waited. Isn't it supposed to be 'a happy surprise'?

You really need to make them express their feelings. It's totally empty of it. And your grammer... do you have trouble typing or something? Not to offend you but, like someone else said, you left out some words.

 

[Orange_Flaaffy]

You really need to make them express their feelings. It's totally empty of it. And your grammer... do you have trouble typing or something?

Yes she does. As I found when looking up the first part of this fic she has Muscular Dystrophy.
While I agree to all the people here that are saying that there needs to be alot of work done on this fic, as a fellow writer with a disablity I can understand her toubles more than a bit...
With MD I am really surpirsed she can type at all in all honesty...

 

[Emma Iveli]

Thank you Orange_Flaaffy, I do have problwems tyoeing. However there's another reasion why I don't eidit it... I'm working on 10 other fanfics... no really while only one fo them is on this site (Dreams to be the Best), To be hostest this one of my least popualr fics. Oh yeah, Orange_Flaaffy, I have a slwo form of Muscular Dystrophy...

Chapter 8: Lum’s Wish

And so the group headed to the next town with a gym. Megan put it out of her mind that it will more and probably be repeat of Cherry Grove City. One day while everyone had their Pokemon out for lunch Lum took Jirachi into the bushes.

“Darling Darling Darling!” said Lum.

“What?!” said Jirachi.

“Darling…” said Lum.

“But that’s crazy! Emma is such a nice person!” said Jirachi.

“Darling! Darling darling!” said Lum.

“Look you going to have to force me!” said Jirachi.

“Darling…” said Lum shooting off some electric bolts.

“But Rick is going to punish you know… my pleas are falling on deaf ears on they?” said Jirachi.

Lum nodded but Jirachi remembered something “You can’t write in English can you?” it said.

Lum took out a pen and paper and wrote down “Darling taught me how to”

“Great…. No wonder why she’s in love with him” said Jirachi.

Lum wrote down on a piece attached to Jirachi’s head that she wised that whenever Darling touched Emma she would be shocked. Then she wrote it down on the other two. She then hid the evidence by covering them with tape. Jirachi sighed at this and it began to glow. With the group Emma touched Rick and got a large electric shock.

“Emma!” said Rick.

Emma fell to the ground. He helped her up but she was shocked again.

“What on earth?” said Rick.

Mina poked him and nothing happened. He touched Emma’s hand she once again she was shocked.

“What’s going on?” said Rick.

“Who left the toaster on?” said Emma in a daze.

“Emma snap out of it!” said Missy shaking her.

“What happened?” said Emma.

“I don’t know…” said Rick.

He touched her shoulder and she was shocked. Sammy sensed something when she was shocked.

“What was that?” said Sammy.

“What is it?” said Emma shaking off the shock.

“I felt something when you were shocked” said Sammy, “Do it again”

Rick touched Emma and she was shocked again.

“I defiantly felt something” said Sammy.

Both Lum and Jirachi came out of the bushes.

“Where have you two have been?” asked Rick.

Jirachi was about to tell them but it saw Lum was sparking. “Now where” said Jirachi in a meek voice.

Celebi look at Jirachi and knew what was going on and it was about to drag Jirachi into the bushes but it got a message for Maggie.

“Maggie!” said Celebi.

“What is it Celebi?” asked Maggie.

Celebi went over to Maggie and gave her glowing ball. The glowing ball showed Hina.

“Mother” said Maggie.

“Your mother?” said Emma.

Everyone went over to Maggie “Hello everyone, look what happened” said Hina. She picked up something behind her and she held up a baby. “This is Lucy your little sister”

“It’s been 9 months all ready boy how time have passed” said Maggie.
You have a cute little cousin” said Mina to Peter.

“She’s my little sister…” said Maggie.

“It’s nice to see them not fighting” said Hina.

“You have a point” said Maggie, “Oh we should visit, we are going to Azalea Town soon…”

Megan sighed “Please don’t mention that name!” she said.

“Sorry… we should visit after the Gym battle” said Maggie.

“I was planning to tell you come for a visit. See you soon” said Hina and the ball disappeared. Maggie noticed that Celebi wasn’t’ around.

“I wonder where she went” said Maggie.

Jirachi and Celebi were in the bushes, Celebi was giving Jirachi a pep talk.

“I know what Lum did to you” said Celebi.

“You do?” said Jirachi.

“Yes and I think it’s awful. Lum just because she’s bigger than you think she can boss you around. You maybe smaller but you have more power!” said Celebi.

“But…” said Jirachi.

“I know you’re scared but if you tell them and she attacks you then I’ll defend you. I’ll even tell Ryoko about this.” said Celebi.

“Okay” said Jirachi.

Meanwhile Rick kept n touching Emma to see what was going on.

“What’s happening?” said Rick.

“The clock teapot like sandwiches on Tuesday” said Emma in a daze.

Missy began to shake Emma again “Snap out it” said Missy.

“I think I know what’s happening…” said Mina. She examined Rick’s hand. “Nope, he doesn’t have any anti-Emma ring on”

“Bad joke…” said Missy.

“I figured it out!” said Sammy.

“What is it?” said Emma.

“Every time Emma gets shocked I feel energy! I believe someone made a wish on Jirachi!” said Sammy.

“But who?” asked Emma.

“Well by process of elimination: It’s not Emma or Rick of course. It’s not me. It’s obviously not Missy or Mina since they are friends. It’s not Matt and Peter because they don’t like messing around like that. Kia may not like anime but she wouldn’t do that. Maggie would never do that. And none of the other Pokemon Angels would do that…” said Sammy.

“Then there are no people left” said Mina.

“I figured it out too” said Rick.

“Yes… it’s Lum” said Sammy pointing to her.

“Lum….” said Emma.

Jirachi and Celebi came out of the bushes and saw Emma glaring at Lum.

“Looks like I didn’t have to that after all” said Celebi.

Sammy grabbed Jirachi and removed the tape. Everyone saw that it clearly was Lum.

“Lum…” said Rick.

“Darling!” said Lum.

“Wait how can Lum write?” asked Mina.

“I taught her how to” said Rick.

Everyone stared at him. “No wonder she’s in love with you” said Peter.

“Lum is just too stubborn, I understand how dearly Emma loves Rick that’s why I gave up on him. But she won’t!” said Ryoko pointing at Lum.

“This is getting weird” said Mina.

“No kidding” said Anne.

“Jirach9i can’t you remove this wish?” said Emma.

“I can’t...” said Jirachi.

“Why?” said Emma.

“If Lum takes back her wish I can.” Said Jirachi, “If not I can’t.”

Everyone was shocked at this. Both Ryoko and Celebi got mad.

“Take it back!” said Ryoko.

“Darling!” said Lum shaking her head.

“You know we’ll just have to fight!” said Celebi.

“Darling.” said Lum sneakily.

“I won’t get by Celebi’s attack, Celebi is strong so any attack will injure it but it take a lot to get it injured” said Ryoko.

“Darling…” said Lum scared.

Ryoko and Celebi began to beat up Lum.

“I understand Ryoko but why Celebi?” said Rick.

“Celebi is sticking up for Legendaries” said April.

“I doubt she’ll regret her wish” said Emma.

Meanwhile Mari watched this. “I just came up with a Perfect plan since Goal is all better.” said Mari.

Back with Mina and the rest they watched the fight. “Shouldn’t someone stop them?” said mina.

“I think so, it’s no use…” said Emma.

“I’m back!” said Mari’s voice.

Goal came swooping in a grabbed Rick. Goal Held Rick next to Mari.

“Flying Angel, I won’t drop your boyfriend from hundreds of feet in the air if you join up with me.” said Mari.

“Rick…” said Emma.

“And I know what’s going on with you, thanks to his Electrabuzz you get shocked every time you touch him. Don’t you” said Mari.

“Oh man…” said Emma, “No deal!”

“Emma…” said Rick.

“Fine then say goodbye to your boyfriend” said Mari.

Goal lifted him high up into the air. Emma transformed and began to fallow Goal. Meanwhile all three Pokemon stopped fighting. When Goal let him Emma caught hi9m in midair. However due to the shocks Emma nearly let him go. In fact the only reason why he didn’t fall was because she held on to his hand.

“Emma…” said Rick.

“This is nothing compared to losing you” said Emma.

“Emma…” said Rick.

Everyone on the ground watched in horror.

“Who would’ve thought I would fall back to sleep so soon…” said Jirachi.

Lum began to cry, “Darling!” she said.

“Yay!” said Jirachi.

Jirachi began to glow and the wishes on its head disappeared.

“What’s happing?” said Mina.

“Lum’s regretting her wish” said Sammy.

“All right” said Missy.

Emma no longer getting shocked and she pull him to her arms. “Mina now!” said Emma.

“Right!” said Mina.

Mina transformed, she got out her wand, and thought about which Pokemon to transform as “Smoochum Soul!”

Her robes became the color of a Smoochum and her wand became a heart shape with the Crystal in the middle. Mina flew up and looked Goal head on “Kiss Smoochum Soul!” said Mina.

A Purple beam hit Goal and all that was left was the crystal that fell to the ground and broke in two and a strand of Golbat fur blew away in the wind.

Both Mina and Emma flew done to the ground.

“Darling! Darling darling darling… darling” said Lum.

“She says she’s sorry and is going back to the old way…” said Jirachi.

“Great….” said Emma and Rick.

“Celebi…” said Jirachi.

“What?” said Celebi.

“Thanks for sticking up for me” said Jirachi.

“You welcome.” said Celebi.

“Why can’t Lum learn her lesion?” said Rick.

“Because she’s so stubborn” said Mina.

 

[icemew]

Thank you Orange_Flaaffy, I do have problwems tyoeing. However there's another reasion why I don't eidit it... I'm working on 10 other fanfics... no really while only one fo them is on this site (Dreams to be the Best), To be hostest this one of my least popualr fics. Oh yeah, Orange_Flaaffy, I have a slwo form of Muscular Dystrophy...

Um...I really don't mean to be mean, and I'm really sorry you have muscular dystrophy...but I don't see how that means you can't use other words than said or fix typos or have more things happening rather than being talked about or have characters that aren't such mary sues. You seem to be typing whole stories, and typing up a lot of them very fast, so I don't see why you can't improve what you're writing or edit it. Maybe I don't understand and it's really hard for you, but it seems like you're just not bothering.