Welcome to my first fic! Keep that in mind when you're grading me.
Ahem. *reads off paper* "This fic is rated NC-17 by the FFAOSPPF (Fan Fiction Association of Serebii) for Language, Nudity, Violence, Gore, and Sexual Situations." I personally think this is stupid. We should say it's G, and the kids will avoid this like the plague XD.
I'm planning as many chapters as I can. 5, minumum. If I can, I'll make it infinite, if you guys like it. Also, I'm testing 4th wall breaking. If I suck too bad, I won't do it much.
Thanks to Dragonfree for OKing this, and the other mods for not closing it.
And now....Pokemon: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
Chapter One: The Plan is Laid (As Well As Paris Hilton)
Saturday, November 26, 2005
“…the citizens of Washington D.C. plan to evacuate, if Bush gets any stupider.” We find 4 boys watching the news. They are Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McKormick. If you don’t know who they are, they are boys that live in a pissant white-bread redneck town called South Park. If you need to know any more, you are reading the wrong fic. Ha ha.
“And now,” said the anchor, “the infamous anime series ‘Chinpokomon’ is airing in some relatively unknown place called Hoenn. This makes it the 2nd-to-last country to get this series, behind Japan, for some reason. More on this topic is an Asian car salesman.”
“Thanks Tom,” said the salesman, “I am at what seems to be a hospital/hotel/restaurant in Hoenn. We’re here with a young boy and girl, who are waiting for said show to start. And your name is…”
“Ash Ketchum,” replied the boy, “from Pallet Town!”
“HOLY SHIT!” yelled Stan, “He looks like the dude from Chinpokomon!”
“Yeah, I see that,” agreed Kyle, “that’s weird.”
“Shut up you guys,” shouted Cartman, “they’re still not done!”
“…and this show should be interesting,” said Ash, “Wonder if there is any ways to help battle!”
“Uh…yeah,” said Asian dude, “we’ll check back in 30 minutes.”
30 minutes later
“And we will now check back with Asian Car Salesman on the Hoenn story, are you there?”
“Yes, but the whole country is pissed! Apparently, THIS is where Hirato, the creator of Chinpokomon, got the idea from! You see, there are...” The video cuts off immediately...
Back in Hoenn, Ash and the girl examine the unconscious body of Asian Car Salesman. A look of anger and befuddlement are mixed on their faces.
“What happened to him?” questioned Ash, “He just unplugged his camera and fainted. It’s so retarded.”
“Same here,” said the girl. Her name was May, a relatively nice girl, but with breasts that makes it look like she was smuggling balls in her shirt, causing plenty of nerds with no lives to go to forums online to talk about her breasts. “That doesn’t matter right now though. What does matter is what that damn show said. What the hell were they going for?”
“Yeah! But what can we do?”
“God, you’re dense! It’s obvious; fight back!” At that point, May picks up the phone and dials a number. “I heard this show started in a show called South Park, Colorado,” she explained to Ash. “Since rednecks like to swear and stuff, I have an idea.” The other side picked up. “Hello, FCC? I have a job for you…”
“….Is that it?” asked Ash. “There isn’t a fadeout. Don’t you know the rules of television?”
“Well, no. I’ve only been here for about 2 years! You’ve been here for about 8! Teach me, oh wise one!” Their bickering causes a fadeout by itself.
We now go to South Park. The boys are about to watch the fourth Harry Potter movie. Kyle and Cartman are fighting about whether or not it will suck balls like the last one.
“Ugh,” groans Cartman, “that’s so Jew of you. You know that barely anyone that was Catholic saw that piece of shit.”
“One,” argues Kyle, “if that’s true, it’s because their mothers were too busy getting fucked. Two, what kind of shitty survey team made that shit?”
“The Eric Cartman Kyle’s A Dirty Jew campaign.”
“You racist piece of fat fu…” At that point, the boys are kidnapped by guys wearing suits. “Damn it, it’s NAMBLA again!” screams Stan.
The boys wake up. They are in a damp, dark hanger. They are each tied down with rope and shackles, with what looks like a helmet with wires on their heads. The chairs are wooden and are covered with what looks like blood. Around the walls were different items, some for torture, some for cleaning, and a small shelf filled with firemen.
“If we get raped again Cartman,” said Stan, “I’m gonna kick your ass!”
Bonus Material: The FCC Song, Family Guy, Created by Seth Mcfarlane. First song there.
Ahem. *reads off paper* "This fic is rated NC-17 by the FFAOSPPF (Fan Fiction Association of Serebii) for Language, Nudity, Violence, Gore, and Sexual Situations." I personally think this is stupid. We should say it's G, and the kids will avoid this like the plague XD.
I'm planning as many chapters as I can. 5, minumum. If I can, I'll make it infinite, if you guys like it. Also, I'm testing 4th wall breaking. If I suck too bad, I won't do it much.
Thanks to Dragonfree for OKing this, and the other mods for not closing it.
And now....Pokemon: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
Chapter One: The Plan is Laid (As Well As Paris Hilton)
Saturday, November 26, 2005
“…the citizens of Washington D.C. plan to evacuate, if Bush gets any stupider.” We find 4 boys watching the news. They are Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McKormick. If you don’t know who they are, they are boys that live in a pissant white-bread redneck town called South Park. If you need to know any more, you are reading the wrong fic. Ha ha.
“And now,” said the anchor, “the infamous anime series ‘Chinpokomon’ is airing in some relatively unknown place called Hoenn. This makes it the 2nd-to-last country to get this series, behind Japan, for some reason. More on this topic is an Asian car salesman.”
“Thanks Tom,” said the salesman, “I am at what seems to be a hospital/hotel/restaurant in Hoenn. We’re here with a young boy and girl, who are waiting for said show to start. And your name is…”
“Ash Ketchum,” replied the boy, “from Pallet Town!”
“HOLY SHIT!” yelled Stan, “He looks like the dude from Chinpokomon!”
“Yeah, I see that,” agreed Kyle, “that’s weird.”
“Shut up you guys,” shouted Cartman, “they’re still not done!”
“…and this show should be interesting,” said Ash, “Wonder if there is any ways to help battle!”
“Uh…yeah,” said Asian dude, “we’ll check back in 30 minutes.”
30 minutes later
“And we will now check back with Asian Car Salesman on the Hoenn story, are you there?”
“Yes, but the whole country is pissed! Apparently, THIS is where Hirato, the creator of Chinpokomon, got the idea from! You see, there are...” The video cuts off immediately...
Back in Hoenn, Ash and the girl examine the unconscious body of Asian Car Salesman. A look of anger and befuddlement are mixed on their faces.
“What happened to him?” questioned Ash, “He just unplugged his camera and fainted. It’s so retarded.”
“Same here,” said the girl. Her name was May, a relatively nice girl, but with breasts that makes it look like she was smuggling balls in her shirt, causing plenty of nerds with no lives to go to forums online to talk about her breasts. “That doesn’t matter right now though. What does matter is what that damn show said. What the hell were they going for?”
“Yeah! But what can we do?”
“God, you’re dense! It’s obvious; fight back!” At that point, May picks up the phone and dials a number. “I heard this show started in a show called South Park, Colorado,” she explained to Ash. “Since rednecks like to swear and stuff, I have an idea.” The other side picked up. “Hello, FCC? I have a job for you…”
“….Is that it?” asked Ash. “There isn’t a fadeout. Don’t you know the rules of television?”
“Well, no. I’ve only been here for about 2 years! You’ve been here for about 8! Teach me, oh wise one!” Their bickering causes a fadeout by itself.
We now go to South Park. The boys are about to watch the fourth Harry Potter movie. Kyle and Cartman are fighting about whether or not it will suck balls like the last one.
“Ugh,” groans Cartman, “that’s so Jew of you. You know that barely anyone that was Catholic saw that piece of shit.”
“One,” argues Kyle, “if that’s true, it’s because their mothers were too busy getting fucked. Two, what kind of shitty survey team made that shit?”
“The Eric Cartman Kyle’s A Dirty Jew campaign.”
“You racist piece of fat fu…” At that point, the boys are kidnapped by guys wearing suits. “Damn it, it’s NAMBLA again!” screams Stan.
The boys wake up. They are in a damp, dark hanger. They are each tied down with rope and shackles, with what looks like a helmet with wires on their heads. The chairs are wooden and are covered with what looks like blood. Around the walls were different items, some for torture, some for cleaning, and a small shelf filled with firemen.
“If we get raped again Cartman,” said Stan, “I’m gonna kick your ass!”
Bonus Material: The FCC Song, Family Guy, Created by Seth Mcfarlane. First song there.
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