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Pokemon: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (NC-17)

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TPMX

Beans backing up...
The following is still in the juridisction of R. Also, the banned chapter will be Chapter 6 instead. I wouldn't be able to write 2 full chapters before I went on vacation, so I extended the beginning of the original Chapter 5.



Chapter 5: Advanceshipping Up the Wazoo

“Ash…” A voice was calling to Ash. “It’s time to get up.” Ash slowly opened his eyes. The first sight he saw was his mother, Delia, in front of his face. The first question he asked is, “How did I get back to Kanto?” Delia replied, “You didn’t. You went to hell.” That’s when he noticed that both of them were naked.

“Ahhhh!” Ash sat up quickly, hot and sweating. He looks around and sees that he is in a jail cell. It was very well-tended to, almost no graffiti on the walls. Past the gates, he saw a rather pudgy officer, writing down something on a piece of paper. He sees in his cell that he is on a rather crummy bed, and a bit to the right of him is a toilet. May is sitting on it, looking right at Ash, confused. She said, “Damn, Ash, don’t yell so loud. Er, why were you yelling?”

“Just a bad dream,” Ash replied. “Uh, where are we?” May said, “The county jail. We got arrested yesterday. I got up about a half-hour ago with the urge to pee. And this toilet has no rim.” She looked on the verge of crying. “So disgusting. Plus, what will my parents think when I get arrested?”

“Oh, that’s no problem,” said the officer. Ash noticed that his badge said, “Officer Barbrady.” He continued, “You have it for life.” The two gasped, and May started sobbing uncontrollably. “There was no room at juvie, so we sent you here and treated you like adults. Enjoy your last 4 hours.” May continued to sob, Barbrady went back to his papers, and Ash went to comfort May.

“May,” Ash said soothingly, “what’s wrong? You know, besides the fact we’re here for the rest of our lives?” May looked at Ash with a look of half amused, half disgusted. “Well, like I said before, I’m not sure what my parents will think when they find out I got arrested.” An image presented itself in May’s mind…

May was back at Petalburg City, at the gym. Her parents were in front of her, faces extremely red with rage. They were yelling things like “disgrace,” and “I can’t believe you did that.” May continued to try and explain, but her parents wouldn’t listen. Norman then said, “Go to your room! You’ll never go on a journey televised by a sucky company!” She thought, And I never got to see Ash’s…

No, don’t think of that. Must keep mind clean, May thought to herself. They stayed silent for a small amount of time. Ash broke the silence by saying, “I understand. I can’t imagine what my mom would say!” However, he did imagine.

Ash is in Pallet Town, talking to his mom. He said, “Mom, I got arrested.” Delia said, “Mmm, OK sweetie. Just go to your room, I’m expecting a meeting. And no supper.” Ash then screamed, “NOOOOOO!”

Ash screamed this out loud, and May looked at him, but not with a look of “What the hell is wrong with you,” but rather with a look of enjoyment. Ash noticed her, blushed hard, and thought, Damn, she thinks there’s something wrong with me. At this point there’s no way I can…

No. No way is that happening. Her parents will go freak. Better just keep the conversation going. He asked, “Is there anything else you wanna talk about?” May shook her head, and there was a strong silence. The only difference is that the two kids kept on looking at each other. At one point, they looked at each other for a long time. Then the most unbelievable, but expected surprise happened.

They got closer, and closer, and eventually kissed. It was rather brief, and they pulled away. They both blushed extremely hard, then after a pause, started kissing again, only longer. Eventually, they put their tongues in each other’s mouths, and they frenched for a full 5 minutes. They pulled away, wiping off any spit, and looked at each other.

“Uh, okay,” May said, extremely red in the cheeks, “that was…unexpected. So, you like me?” Ash grinned, red as well, and said, “Yeah. It’s amazing that someone as pretty as you can be that nice, sweet, funny...even if you hit me.” They both looked down at the floor for a while. May then broke the silence with the most unlikely comment from her, most suited for someone like, say me.

She went close to Ash’s ear and asked, “Listen, since we’re going to die anyway…do you mind having sex with me?” She then quickly receded, just looking between her legs, shuffling her feet. Ash stared at her in disbelief. This was not the May he knew. Just the day before, May didn’t accept anything perverted, but now she was offering sex.

“Listen,” Ash said, “I just want you to know that you should have sex when you’re ready, and with someone you love.” May then turned to him, and said, “I do. My parents were never exactly role models.” More flashbacks…

May is roughly 5 years old, sitting on her bed with her parents. “Honey,” said Norman, “we thought that it would be better to explain about sex now, so you don’t do anything wrong. You see, when a man and woman love each other, or at least the woman, or neither if cash is involved, they like to…” This caused many screams of terror from that room that night.

“Whoa,” said Ash, “that’s freaky. I knew about sex early on too!” Yet another flashback…

Ash is about 6 years old. He is back from a day looking at Pokemon. He goes up to his room, to see his mother getting screwed by Professor Oak. During that entire time, Ash just stared. When they finished, he went to his room saying, “Sounds like my mom likes cock. I should get her some for Mother’s Day!”

Ash shudders violently. “I never noticed how wrong that was. I guess I don’t know as much as you, because all I did was watch.” At that point, May smiled and said, “Don’t worry.” She called out to the officer and said, “Officer, I’ll give you two shiny pennies if you leave for about an hour!” Officer Barbrady looked excited and said, “You got a deal!” May threw him the two pennies, and off the retard went.

“Now then,” said May, “we’re all alone…” She started rubbing his thigh. “Uh,” panicked Ash, “how about…checkers?” May looked at him sternly. “Oh, all right,” Ash said, and they started…

NOTE: None of the boom-shaka-laka-laka will be shown here, due to the fact I probably won't keep it courteous.

Need to Know Information: I'm going on vacation, so no new chapters until about January 18th. I'll get back by the 2nd, but there's the banned chapter.
 

Torchic23

gee that's swell
Meh it's ok. I like some of your other fics a little better. It's ok grammer wise but I don't like the plot as much. I never watch south park or any of that stuuf so it's a bit confusing for me ^_^;
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
Rated NC-17 for extreme sexual functions

Chapter 6: Crouching Penis, Hidden Pussy

PM me for it, or visit Pokeman Forums or May Fanatic. If you get it through PM, you MUST post here and review it!
 
Okay, this is the reason why you should talk to a mod about your chapters. See if they really are professional or not. You might be a bit surprised at what is actually considered professional. (Some of the things I've seen put in I wouldn't consider professional and have been gotten away with quite nicely.)
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
pokeplayer984 said:
Okay, this is the reason why you should talk to a mod about your chapters. See if they really are professional or not. You might be a bit surprised at what is actually considered professional. (Some of the things I've seen put in I wouldn't consider professional and have been gotten away with quite nicely.)

Look, that's not the only reason. Kids go to these forums. True kids. Not like me. Supreme acts of violence and sex are bad for a kid. But I don't want the adults and teenagers to be bored. So I made the fic R and offered the other sections by more adult forums and PM.

You can still PM me for Chapter 6.
 

Redsoxpsyco

SarahPalinClubsSeals
I think altogether, it was nicely written, and as pika told me
Virgins can write about sex!
I think he's proven that :D
 
C

Calcos the Destroyer

Guest
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! UUUUUURRRRRRRK!!!!!! *censors self*
 

Kabuto

little punks!
I'll say it harshly, compared to the South Park movie, this is no where as good. Off topic I just realized Bigger Longer and Uncut relates to [SPOIL]a penis[/SPOIL] Lmao. Anyway decent South Park references and fairly funny jokes. You still did a very good job but South Park....don't even get me started.
 
Last edited:
The Pikamaster said:
Look, that's not the only reason. Kids go to these forums. True kids. Not like me. Supreme acts of violence and sex are bad for a kid. But I don't want the adults and teenagers to be bored. So I made the fic R and offered the other sections by more adult forums and PM.

You can still PM me for Chapter 6.

Look, the rule when putting this stuff that's bad in is simple. You as the author have to give a warning of how bad it is. If a person chooses to either not read/ignore/not believe that warning, it ends up being their fault alone. Basically, you warned them, they didn't listen, and you basically can guess what happens when kids don't listen to rules, right?

It's their fault and their fault alone for reading it. No one else's. I mean, you didn't force them, right? It was their choice alone to read it. If they make the stupid choice to not read/ignore/not believe the warning you give, it's only their fault in the end and no one else's.

You as an author are not responsible for the actions of others when you put in that warning.

For instance, my R rated fic contains HIGH accounts of language, violence, blood, gore, death, suggestive dialouge and nudity. I basically put that warning in. Two mods allowed me to do this. From there, it's just the individual's fault for reading it. No questions asked.

In the end, the ONLY thing that should be made for the decision of whether or not you should have that showing is whether or not a mod accepts it. Nothing else should really matter.
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
pokeplayer984 said:
Look, the rule when putting this stuff that's bad in is simple. You as the author have to give a warning of how bad it is. If a person chooses to either not read/ignore/not believe that warning, it ends up being their fault alone. Basically, you warned them, they didn't listen, and you basically can guess what happens when kids don't listen to rules, right?

It's their fault and their fault alone for reading it. No one else's. I mean, you didn't force them, right? It was their choice alone to read it. If they make the stupid choice to not read/ignore/not believe the warning you give, it's only their fault in the end and no one else's.

You as an author are not responsible for the actions of others when you put in that warning.

For instance, my R rated fic contains HIGH accounts of language, violence, blood, gore, death, suggestive dialouge and nudity. I basically put that warning in. Two mods allowed me to do this. From there, it's just the individual's fault for reading it. No questions asked.

In the end, the ONLY thing that should be made for the decision of whether or not you should have that showing is whether or not a mod accepts it. Nothing else should really matter.

OK, fair enough. Have fun.

This chapter is NC-17 for sexual functions. This chapter can be skipped, as it's just sex.









Chapter 6: Crouching Penis, Hidden Pussy

“Well,” Ash said, “I’m not entirely sure how to do this…” May shushed him and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll tell you what to do. I’ll start out first though.” At this point, May undid Ash’s pants, and pulled both pants and underwear off. It revealed Ash’s penis, very hard and stiff already due to the talks from before. Ash nervously asked, “You’re sure you know how to do this?” May replied, “Yes, now shush.”

May slowly put Ash’s member in her mouth. She started tickling the top of it with her tongue, all over. Ash thought it felt very good, and she continued. Eventually May stopped the tongue tickling and put her mouth in and out of Ash’s penis, also known as a blowjob. She kept at it, sucking, moving, and back to tickling, then starting over again.

Ash felt so wonderful, almost to coming. He knew he had to hold it in, but it got more and more harder. Eventually he had to let go and he cummed. This was unexpected to May; she was looking for more. The semen went down her throat quickly, temporarily choking her. She took Ash’s penis out of her mouth and the semen jet went on her face. Eventually the jet calmed down and May had cum all over her face.

“Uh, you need any help cleaning that off?” Ash asked. May replied, “No, I’ll just lick it off.” She took her finger and wrapped it around the semen, and started putting it in her mouth. After about 5 minutes, her face was sticky but clean, and they were ready to continue.

“Now you’ll want to take off my shirt.” Ash went near her and lifted up her shirt. She was now standing in her bra. Ash noticed that her bra was completely filled up by her breasts.

“OK, you’re doing well,” May said. “Now what you have to do…” However, she is cut off by Ash. “I think I know what to do,” he said. At this point, Ash reached his hands behind May and works at the clips until the bra falls off. There May was, her soft, buoyant, voluptuous, and tender breasts. Her small nipples were very stiffly erect.

Ash stepped nervously towards May. “Well, I think I know what I’m supposed to do,” he said. May granted him permission to do so, and Ash neared his lips towards her nipple. He latched on softly to her nipples and started to suck gently. May smiled and seemed to enjoy it. Ash continued for a while, and May started to moan lustfully.

Then Ash started pinching May’s other nipple. May let out a breath of ecasty and started whispering sweet nothings. Eventually Ash stopped, and May, again, was surprised.

“Why’d you stop?” she asked. He said, “We should move on…” May shushed him again and said, “Do this. Suck on my nipple and put your finger down my shorts. Slightly rub my vagina.”

Ash looked a bit skeptical, but dismissed it. He went to May’s nipple again and started to suck again. As he did this, he put one of his hands down May’s shorts. He felt May’s underpants, which were silky and smooth.

Ash started moving his hand lightly in circles in May’s shorts, while sucking, and May started to moan. May said, “Oh, now do it without the underwear.”

Ash lifted his hand a bit and put it on the inside of May's underwear. He again started moving in circles lightly, but it seemed to have a much bigger effect on May. She moaned much deeper and erotically, and she started to buck a little.

"OK..." May said, "Oohhhh, stop." Ash did so. "OK, now, pull off my shorts." Ash put his hands nervously around May's waist. In one fell swooping motion, he managed to get May's shorts and skirt off. Her underwear was of a slightly transulcent red. It was made of silk.

Ash slowly put his hands on the rim of the underwear. He pulled them off slowly and saw May's pussy. For God's sake, I'm not describing this.

"Well, you know how I look naked now," May said. "Now do you." Ash took off his shirt and pants, and he stood there naked as well.

"Mmm, you're sexy," May moaned. She went over to him and whispered in his ear, "I want you inside me." Ash looked determined, whether it was because he was getting laid or didn't want to look like a loser depended.

"OK then," Ash said, a little shaky, "lay down on the bed." May did so, and Ash prayed he knew what to do, as I am now. He went over to the bed as well, but tripped halfway.

May peered over. "You OK?" She looks and saw that he tripped on her shoes. She smacks her head and goes to help him up. As soon as he was up, she gave him a smack, flinging him to the floor.

"What was that for!" Ash yelled. "For tripping!" May yelled back. Ash's face went calm and he quietly said, "Never mind this," and went to sit down, but before he could, May grabbed his shoulder.

"Look, I'm sorry. This might be hard for you since you don't know as much as me. I'll stop being so harsh." Ash looked up into May's eyes. They didn't seem the same as the old or new May. The old May's looked slighty evil, and the new one had nothing. Now, it seemed that there was true caring inside them. He realized now that they weren't having sex because this was their last chance; it was because they truly loved each other.


"OK, I'm ready," he said, and May squealed with glee. She walked over to the bed and laid down, and Ash followed. He kneeled on the bed and put his penis inside of May's vagina. May immediatly felt a very sharp pain, like a huge needle just piercing her skin. She let out a gasp and whined a bit.

"You alright?" Ash asked, and May nodded. She moved her finger, as if saying to continue, and Ash did. He put her legs over his shoulders, for a better position. As soon as he was comfortable, he again started to insert his penis into May. It still hurt to her, but not as much as before. She was able to see she was bleeding, but reassured herself it was nothing.

They continued this for a while, and eventually May felt nearly no pain at all. It instead was replaced by nothing but happiness. She couldn't believe it was possible to feel this way, and started to moan, "Ohhhhh, yeah." Ash looked mildly pleased that he was able to make May happy. She continued to moan, and it started to intesify in a few minutes.

May felt no better pleasure anywhere at any other time of her life. "Ohh, ohh," she moaned, but she wanted a new position. She didn't want to ruin her chances of coming though, so she tried to motion to Ash she wanted to change. Ash got it and flipped her over. May got up on all fours, front bent down a little, so her vagina was shown to Ash.

Ash, much more confident now, inched over to May's butt, straightened himself so he could reach May's vagina, and grabbed her hips. Then he got closer and started doing her again. May again started with her moaning. "Aaaaaah...uhhhh..."

Ash was certain of himself, so he started going faster. May's moaning intensified. He kept the pace up, but then took his hands and groped May. She got a little surprised, but it was good for her, because it just made her happier.

By now May's pain has completely faded away, and she was feeling every bit of happiness she could. She was definitely expressing it, at least. Instead of long moans, she started having quick, erotic gasps. "Ugh, ugh, aigh, aigh, ahhh, ahhh...."

May started feeling something odd. Something was welling up inside of her, and every minute of it being there made her feel wonderful. "Ash...there's...something...inside...me!" she gasped. "God...it...wants...to...come...out."

Ash was unsure what to do, but he pressed onward. "It feels so good!" May managed to say. "Yes....yes....YES!" Ash started to worry, but it seemed to make her feel wonderful. Also, the moans were very erotic. In fact, he was close to ejaculating.

May turned silent for a few minutes, doing nothing but her erotic gasps, but they were getting higher and louder. Eventually, she let out an extremely high and loud groan, and came. Ash also came, and the two sex liquids passed each other, mixed, and continued, Ash's sperm towards May's eggs, and May's...whatever it's called outside.

May flopped onto the bed, tired, and Ash laid back. May's liquids were still going in a small stream.


And now...the notes.

Thanks: Dragonfree for OKing the NC-17ing of this fic, and Zepher Flare for changing the title to NC-17.

NOTE: I'm not trying to endorse this. I warned you, it's tough luck you read Chapter 6. All acts portrayed here should not be done unless you're truly in love, in my opinion.

Next: Chapter 6, Pi-fuck-chu
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
seizureman said:
I'll say it harshly, compared to the South Park movie, this is no where as good. Off topic I just realized Bigger Longer and Uncut relates to a [SPOIL]penis[/SPOIL] Lmao. Anyway decent South Park references and fairly funny jokes. You still did a very good job but South Park....don't even get me started.

It was never intended to be a knock-off South Park movie. It was meant to be a Pokemon/South Park cross-over.

Chaka27 said:
o_O..................................................kay....... *tells mom to stop cooking his dinner*.

XD. Sweet.
 
Okay, I'm not one to usually read Advanceshipping stories, (Due to the fact of how much I hate the ship itself. BIGGEST. HATER. OF. SHIP.) but I'm actually enjoying this for once.

I am THE biggest mature hater of Advanceshipping around, but if you can get me to enjoy an Advanceshipping fic, you accomplish greatness.

I gave you a chance because of what you basically said, "Even though it contains Advanceshipping, it is not an Advanceshipping story." However, I have yet to believe that. Maybe there's a little plot twist I don't know about coming up that will basically destroy it being Advanceshippy all together.

Anyways, the chapter was indeed professionally done. However, IMO, you went too far in describing it. Basically, it grossed me out. It's rare that I run into a sex realted story and end up having a postive point of how well the sex was done. In total, I've read about 100 sex stories, and only one has pleased me. (Oh, BTW, those are non homo fics. I NEVER click on those.) You didn't accomplish that.

However, I am still enjoying this fic, regardless. If you keep this up, you will be one of few non-Pokeshippers that have earned my respect.

Well, it's late. Gotta go.

Oh, and with how it was done, I can only make one guess as to what will most likely happen next...

[SPOIL]May becomes pregnant.[/SPOIL]

Well, see ya later. ^_^
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
Sorry guys. Been busy. *coughschoolcough* I'll continue to write non-stop until about March or April. I'm back to work!
 

Seijiro Mafuné

Diogomainardista!
Actually, Poképlayer, from my convos with him, I can safely say that [SPOIL]the reason why it's not an AShipping fic is because the duo will be fooling around with others. Misty's not gonna please ya, though.[/SPOIL]

Don't read unless you don't want SOME spoilers.
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
*sigh* Sorry. I wish I had time to do this a lot often...this one wasn't meant to be funny. Just so you know. I'll update as much as I can.





Chapter 7 - Pi-fuck-chu

OK, now that the tween sex is over, how about we go back to the boys from South Park? They were still laughing their asses off over the ray gun thing. Figures. However, the nearby Pokemon Center door opened and Nurse Joy stepped out with a Pikachu on her shoulder.

“Who is the owner of this...big Pikachu?” she said, giggling a bit. Pikachu grinned and did a thumbs up. Nurse Joy giggled more, and the boys finally noticed her being. “Holy crap, you’re hot,” Stan blurted out. He coughed, and continued, “Uh, we don’t know.” Nurse Joy shifted uncomfortably. “Well, I’ll leave him here, and you give him to whoever owns this stud when they come.” She then left Pikachu on the picnic table.

The boys stared blankly at Pikachu, and Pikachu stared blankly back. Cartman then picked up a stick, walked slowly up to him, and started hitting him with it. “Bad rat, bad rat!” he yelled. Stan and Kyle pulled him back, and Pikachu was fuming. “Dude, why do you always have to hit things with a stick!” Stan yelled. Cartman replied, “It’s an impulse.”

At this point, Pikachu crouched down a bit, and yelled, “PIKACHU!” An electric shock whipped through the air and hit Cartman, sending shocks all over his body. If only he still had his fat ass, he could of absorbed it…excuse me. Cartman was frying to a crisp on the floor, and looking annoyed. “Oh, you wanna play, you damn rat? Let’s play!”

He then pulled out a transporter gun, set it to “Clothes,” and shot. Pikachu disappeared, and Kyle said, “Nice going fat a…Oh damnit,” Stan inquired, “What?” Kyle turned to him and said, “He’s not fat anymore! He shot all his fat off!” Cartman laughed.

Then something happened that brightened Kyle up. Pikachu reappeared on Cartman’s face in a sweater vest and shorts, and gave him a nice Thunderbolt. He jumped off Cartman’s face and got ready to fight, while talking in his Pokemon voice. “What the hell did that little rat say?” Cartman asked. He then stepped right on Pikachu’s foot.

“AH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!” Pikachu yelled out, in plain English. The boys looked shocked, but quickly recovered. Pikachu held his hand to his mouth and gasped. “Oh, I mean…Pika!” Obviously the boys weren’t falling for it, and continued talking in English. “OK, what do you duck fuckers want?”

Cartman looked like he was about to hit Pikachu, but Stan put his hand up. “Calm down, dumbass. Now,” he turned to Pikachu, “why didn’t you just talk in English?” Pikachu replied, “This is a children’s show. I have to keep the swearing down for ‘content.’” He spat the ground. “Fuck that! Every Pokemon wants to be free to do what they want. The damn producers keep us from doing that.”

Pikachu then noticed the boys with wide eyes. “Woah. You guys are from South Park! I watch that all the time!” They looked puzzled. “Oh, damnit. Now I told you too much.” Kyle asked, “We have a show?” Pikachu wasn’t paying attention, just shuffling through two bookbags. Out he pulled three Pokeballs and a bra.

Pikachu took a deep sniff of the bra and nearly fainted. “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. I am so glad that hot piece of ass joined,” he sighed. He then let the Pokemon in the balls out, revealing a Torkoal and a Torchic. The third ball opened, and all three boys shrunk inside. Torchic looked over and said, in a girly Anglo-Saxon voice, “Um, like, what do you need?” Pikachu yelled, “A beer and some popcorn, woman! Now chop-chop!” Torchic looked grumpy, but went off into a store.

Torkoal was left, just sleeping. Pikachu carefully put the Pokeball on Torkoal’s back. Torchic came running back with a Budweiser and buttered popcorn. “Good,” Pikachu said with his mouth full, “Now shoot Ember at Torkoal’s ass.” Torkoal woke and said in a slow voice, “Wha…” followed by a scream, as his ass was burned. He then erupted, blasting the Pokeball to who knows where.

Pikachu sipped his beer and ate popcorn. He said, “It’s going, going, gone! Nice.” Torchic, still grumpy, stared down Pikachu and said, “We could’ve just, like, erase their minds or something. I don’t know…” He replied, “This is much more fun.” At this point, Torkoal lit Torchic on fire. “And that’s funny,” he laughed.

Up the hill, a man in a suit appeared, and looked at the Pokemon. “Bad things!” he screamed, “You’re not being cuddly enough!” All the Pokemon screamed. “OH SHIT!” as he pulled out a big gun. We won’t mention what happens next, but Pikachu was the only one who got away.

Pikachu panted, “Just…got…away...hmm, what’s this?” He picked up a transportation gun and shot at himself. He disappeared in a black hole.
_____________________________________________

Yeah, I know it's not great. This is important for the rest of the series though.

[SPOIL]As for the aformentioned post, yes, they will be messing with other people. Also, Misty ain't getting any.[/SPOIL]

Next - Wonderballs
 

Redsoxpsyco

SarahPalinClubsSeals
Reminds me of a soap opera, where 12 things happen at once
* Ash and May just had sex
* Pikachu's being transported to god knows where
* And the boys from South Park are trapped inside a pokeball.
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
Who hates school school? I HATE SCHOOL SCHOOL! I got this teacher that assigns a word search EVERY FRIGGIN DAY. It's like the newspaper in the friggin' Beijing Times. It's due the next friggin day. Then I got projects again. *sigh* OK, rant over.
 
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