Pokemon: Challenge

[yamiiguy]

Chapter 1 - Starter of a Journey

24 January 2006 - Today is my 11th birthday and I’m going to receive my starter Pokemon from Prof. Birch, Torchic and later I’m going to take the Elite Four Challenge. That’s when you go to Pokemon Gyms and battle their leaders and acquire 8 badges. Then you go to Ever Grande City and face the Elite Four and the current Champion.

I stopped writing and went to have a shower after I put on my Pokemon headband, denim jacket and white trainers I raced over to my friend Sakura’s house when I noticed the news.

News Reporter: ‘‘I’m in front of this year’s Grand Festival where our winner Leo with his Absol and Flygon are about to give us a few words’’

Leo: ‘‘I’d just like to say…what the?’’

The TV went blank. I walked out of my house and into Sakura’s. Sakura: ‘‘Hi, Moco, Professor Birch is here do you want to get your new pokemon now?’’

Moco: ‘‘Would I?’’

Prof. Birch led me to his laboratory and showed me my Torchic’s Pokeball. I picked it up and grasped it firmly in my hand. I threw it to the ground. Moco: ‘‘Torchic come on out.’’

Out came a orange fire-type chick Torchic: ‘‘Tor…chick…tor’’

It jumped on my lap and stared at me then jumped onto my shoulder. Torchic: ‘‘Tor…chic…tor’’

Prof. Birch: ‘‘It looks like that Torchic likes you Moco’’

Sakura: ‘‘Coochy, coochey, coo, coochey, coochey, coo’’

Torchic: ‘‘Tor…chic…chic…chic’’’

Torchic jumped back onto my shoulder and I left Prof. Birch’s laboratory. I went to my house to get my backpack and my mom came up. Mom: ‘‘Hi, honey I just came up to give you your going away present’’

She put into my hand five Poke’balls. Moco: ‘‘Thanks mom’’

Mom: ‘‘No problem, honey’’

I put them into my bag and left. I took my first step into Route 101 and I knew then that I’d started my Pokemon journey.

Chapter 2 Preview:

When Moco sees a Poochyena bullying a Seedot what will he do find out as he enters his first battle and catches a new Pokemon!

 

[Silent Conversation]

yay! 1st review!

I really liked the plot of this story. There's a puncuation mistake here and there, but otherwise it's a good story.

Just one piece of advice; i think you should make your chapters longer. The rules say that a chapter must be at least a page long of Microsoft Word and I don't want this story getting closed; it's very intersting. But I can't tell for sure. It could've been the right size (that chapter was definitly longer than chapter 1 of my 1st story, i tell you)

Well, don't stop now! Keep up the good work and i can't wait for Chapter 2!

 

[atomicmonkey]

Its ok but there is room for improvent. It looks as if you buzzed through events, just listing them. Take time on each event, link them together and describe your surroundings. In the beginning when he's writing the journal, keep that part in italics so the reader can distinguish what's really happening and what's in the journal. This will make your chapters become longer and more eye catching. The plot seems good. I'll stick around for future chapters. ;D

 

[yamiiguy]

Chapter 2 - Seedot You Later

As I walked along Route 101 with Torchic when I seen a Seedot running round in circles being chased by a Poochyena. I ran towards it. Moco: ‘‘Torchic, go’’

Moco: ‘‘Torchic use Scratch on that Poochyena’’

Torchic ran towards the Poochyena and lifted it’s arm up. Torchic: ‘‘Tor…CHIC’’

The Poochyena ran away as the Seedot jumped around. Seedot: ‘‘See, see, dot’’

I reached into my backpack before the Seedot ran away. Moco: ‘‘Pokeball, go’’

The ball turned once, then it turned again and it clicked. Moco: ‘‘I caught a Seedot’’

Torchic: ‘‘Torchic’’

I went into the Pokemon Centre and healed Torchic and Seedot when I seen Sakura. Moco: ‘‘Hi, Sakura’’

Sakura: ‘‘Oh hi, Moco, did you hear the news?’’

Moco: ‘‘What news?’’

Sakura: ‘‘About the Grand Festival, It seems that Team Magma sabotaged it and took the winner Leo hostage’’

Moco: ‘‘Really ?, that’s terrible’’

Sakura: ‘‘I know but since were here do you want a battle?’’

Moco: ‘‘Bring it on’’

I went outside and found a nice place to battle. Moco: ‘‘Torchic, go’’

Sakura: ‘‘Zigzagoon, I choose you’’

Moco: ‘‘Torchic, Focus your Energy and use Ember’’

Torchic stared at the Zigzagoon. Torchic: ‘‘Tor…CHIC’’

Tiny bursts of fire came out of Torchic’s mouth and hit Sakura’s Zigzagoon. Zigzagoon: ‘‘Zig, zag, OON’’

Sakura: ‘‘Zigzagoon use head butt’’

Sakura’s Zigzagoon charged at Torchic with it’s head before they clashed. Torchic: ‘‘Torchic’’

Moco: ‘‘Torchic, use Scratch’’

Torchic ran towards Sakura’s Zigzagoon and Scratched it with it’s claws. Zigzagoon: ‘‘zig, za, goon’’

Sakura: ‘‘Zigzagoon return, go Mudkip’’

Mudkip: ‘‘MUD, kip, mud’’

Moco: ‘‘Torchic return, Seedot I choose you’’

Seedot: ‘‘See, see, dot’’

Sakura: ‘‘Mudkip use water gun’’

Jets of water came out of Mudkip’s mouth and hit Seedot. Moco: ‘‘Seedot use Bide’’

Sakura: ‘‘Mudkip use Water Gun and finish it off with tackle’’

Moco: ‘‘Seedot dodge it’’

Suddenly, Seedot unleashed it’s energy. Mudkip; ‘‘mud, kip, mud’’

Sakura: ‘‘Mudkip return, I hate to say it Moco but you’re a really good battler and I think you’ll do good in the Elite Four Challenge and Professer Birch told me to give you this’’

She handed over a red Pokedex. Moco ‘‘A Pokedex, cool’’

Sakura: ‘‘I must get back to Littleroot now but heres a little advice the gym in Petalburg up ahead you can’t battle in until you have 4 badges so the nearest one you can battle in is in Rustboro against Roxanne the Rock-type gym leader so you better have a water or grass type’’

Moco: ‘‘Thanks and see you later’’
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Chapter 3 Preview:

As Moco faces Roxanne in a Gym Battle and captures a new pokemon however pokemon of legend are near...
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Well I made this chapter a bit longer and in a few more chapters he might visit a PAC (Pokemon Adoption Centre)