Pokemon Champion: The Best trainer in SInnoh!

[Sakosimaru]

Hello. This is My very first Fanfic. Even though it is My first, I will not ask to be graded less harshly, And I will ask you all to rate it as if it was a Harry Potter book. It is rated PG (for Fantasy Violence, Small uses of language, and for teenage Puppylove)
It is a story about the Rivals of all the Pokemon trainers we have seen so far: Green (Rival of Red), Silver (Rival of Gold), May (Rival of Brendan/Ruby), and Saix (the Unamed rival of Hikari and Lucas). This is the tale of the RIvals of these heroes, and not the Others. But sadly, Green, Silver, and May's time is done. It is Saix's turn to carry out the RIval legacy. Lets start off with a little introduction!

Chapter 1: Gyrados and a Show!​

Saix looked out the window. He could see a brown Starly flying outside his home. Saix squinted his eyes for a better look. Weren't Starly supposed to be Gray, Black and White? He got some binoculars form his desk and came back to the window. The brown starly was still there! Saix could see from the binoculars that it was a little plump; It looked like a male due to its larger forehead, but it was also a little smaller than a female. Saix leaned out his window to watch the Starly.

He felt the cool air touch his face, and took in a deep sigh. THe brown Starly heard him and ran off. SAix decided it was just his imagination playing tricks on him. He shut the window and glanced at the clock. Saix was actually patiently waiting for the Pokemon Rangers: Gyrados Special to come on TV.

Saix was a 12 year old boy with a seriously small attention span according to his mother. He would often explore things and play with Pokemon when he was little. When he got older though, he was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder) which helped to explain his very wonky lifestyle.

He had one best friend: Hikari. He is best friends with Hikari and feels he always will be. Saix had mixed feelings for Hikari: often when he was talking to her a little demon and angel would get up on his shoulders and debate about what to say to Hikari when he takled to her.

Saix got up and started pacing around his room, anxiously waiting for the Clock to hit 3:00. He strared at the CLock for what seemed like the longest time. The Minute hand finnaly moved and hit 2:17. Saix felt like it had been hours already. Feeling so bored, he decided to do some chores.

Saix went down the stairs, and into the Kitchen. He found a Note there. He read it out loud:

Dear Saix,
I went to go and Get some Food from the Grocery in Sandgem town. Please do your chores. (Clean the Counter, take out the trash, and please groom my Growli.)​

Saix Decided to go outside and into the backyard to groom Growli, their pet Growlithe first. He took a brush and gently stroked Growli's Mane while pondering about what would happen on the Pokemon Ranger Show.

When Saix was done grooming Growli, He went inside and brushed of the COunter. He then grudgingly took out the stinky smeely trash. Probally Mom's leftover Meatball recipe Saix thought.

Saix then Checked back at the Clock. It was 2: 49! He was getting closer and closer to watching that show! He could no longer contain his exitment and rushed outside and over to Hikari's Home. He knocked on the door, and Hikari opened it up.

"Hey Hikari! Are you exited about the Pokemon Ranger Gyrados special?"
"Do you mean the one that was just on Sax?" HIkari Replied. Saix just stared blankly into space.
"No. I mean the One that comes on at 3:00." Saix Retorted. Hikari had a small chuckle at this comment.
" Saix, today is Daylight savings time. We sprung and hour foward..." Saix just fell to his knees. He had been looking foward to this speacial all month. Now he missed it. But as much as Saix had wanted to see that show, he had just thought of something to make things better.

"Hikari, can you meet me at my house at 4:00?" Saix asked.
"Saix, it's 4:00 now." Hikari argued.
"Fine! 5:00 then!" Saix responded. "Just be there at 5:00." Hikari shrugged okay, and Saix headed home. He got inside and sat down at the table making a list of what to bring for the hunt. Today he was going to find himself a Gyrados!

 

[The Doctor]

Uh, don't tell us about Saix's routine, let us see it. We are intelligent people you know, we don't need to be spoonfed the plot.

Double-space your paragraphs; trust me it looks so much neater. Describe what's going on in detail, not just a vague picture like:

Saix looked out the window. He could see Stralies and Staravias Flying in the breeze. He felt the cool air touch his face, and took in a deep sigh. Saix was actually patiently waiting for the Pokemon Rangers: Gyrados Special to come on TV.

See how boring that looks? Even though this is a Pokemon-based forum, please describe them, even Pokemon, otherwise it just looks lazy. I didn't actually see what Hikari, or even Saix looked like, or their town; for all I knew, they could be balls of light because they could be anything at all because you didn't say.

One thing I admit; the plot is original, as you're telling things from the rival's persepctive and I don't think it's been done before...no? *looks round at anyone to contradict me* But I have a horrible feeling this is going to follow the games' plot exactly and for heaven's sake don't do that. If I wanted to see how this would turn out, I'd go get Diamond or Pearl as it would be quicker than reading the whole thing. You can follow the plot but follow it loosely; add your own ideas to the mix, otherwise this will be a slavish re-telling of the game and no-one wants that.

So, follow the advice I've given you, and hopefully you will have improved by next chapter.

 

[Sakosimaru]

Hmm. Thanks for the advice. I will keep that in Mind for my next Chapter. I Edited my first chapter some more btw. Also, The Story will loosely follow the Game's example, but it will greatly Differ from the Game after the begining. So just don't go buy Diamond/Pearl yet!

Anyways Here is Chapter 2:

CHapter 2: Where there's a Gyarados there's a Hyper Beam!

Hikari checked her watch. It was 5:02. Saix was probally just running late. She knocked on the door to his house and waited. No answer. She decided to check around back. Hikari walked towards the Backyard, and then...

"RAARR!!" Saix screamed. Hikari was so freaked out that she nearly jumped out of her socks.
"Okay Hikari, are you ready?" Saix asked.
"Yeah sure." Hikari retorted. She was scared very easily by Saix. Saix often took advantage of this.

The Two walked along the road out of town. Hikari began wondering where the heck Saix was taking them.
"Saix, Where are we going..?"
"To Lake Verity of course!" Saix responded.
"But there are wild pokemon in lake Verity! We can't go there!" Hikari pleaded.
"But that's where the Documentary of the Gyrados was supposed to be. If they think that I'm just going to sit around for a rerun of the special instead of going out there and trying to find a Gyrados for myself, then don't know me!" Saix happily explained to Hikari.
"You Idiot! Don't you know that they have pokemon with them though!? They can protect themselves in case of an attack! WE CAN'T!!" Hikari Screamed at Saix.
"Well if you want to go back now you can. But we're here already, so we minus well check it out." Hikari sighed and followed Saix into the forest near the Lake.

Upon Entry, Saix noticed two people near the lake. He figured they were probally just tourists trying to enjoy the lake. One of them was old, wrinkley, and had a bag with him. The Other was a Young Boy, about Saix's age. He sported a red hat that was way to big for his own head. Saix thought about approching them and introducing himself, but he was to caught up with finding a Gyarados to really notice.

"Hikari, let's get closer to the water. I want to get a better look."
"But there are wild pokemon in tall grass. Over there is tall grass. You do the math Saix... Oh wait now I remember! You can't do math!" Saix didn't pay any attention to this comment and headed for the Tall grass anyways. He glanced the water and saw nothing.

Hikari carefully made her way over to SAix, repeatedly muttering something about him being a Knucklehead.
"Hikari, I don't see anything." Saix whined. He was getting bored from waiting for ten seconds. Saix sat down near the water and stared at it. Hikari sat down next to him and noticed other people at the Lake. They were the same People Saix had seen. THey made their way over to Saix and Hikari.

"Hiya!" The Younger boy said to Saix. Saix did not reply.
"Oh hello. Excuse my friend here. He's just so set on finding a Gyarados in this lake he isn't PAYING ANY ATTENTION" That last part of the Sentence snapped saix out of his weird trance.
"Oh! Hi! I'm Saix and this is my friend HIkari." Saix replied to the Boy. "What's your name?"
"Me? I'm Lucas. Its nice to meet you two. Over there is Proffesor Rowan. He's the Authority on Pokemon in this region. I'm his Aide in training."

Hikari started talking to Lucas like she had known him for years. They strarted chatting while Saix got up and moved to another part of the lake to see if there was a gyrados over there. He scanned the water. No luck. He felt so down that he grabed a large rock and threw it into the lake.

Saix turned around to go back to where Hikari and Lucas were sitting, But a giant figure started to arise from the water. Saix watched as a Sprakling Red Gyrados arose from the spot he had thrown a rock into. It stood 24 feet high, had the largest Incizors, and must have been very strong.

Saix simply stood in place from amazement. A Red Gyarados. Whoa. Saix then noticed the Gyarados was gathing light in it's mouth. The Gyarados then closed it's eyes, and a huge beam of light shot out from its mouth! Saix jumped out of the way, narrowly escaping the beam's destructive power. The ground where Saix had just lept from was Oblitherated, as was the trees and grass that were hit by the Beam.

Saix turned around and started running towards the others, Shouting "AHH!! BIG SCARY GYARADOS!! RUN!!" repeatedly. Lucas and Hikari got up and watched as the Gyarados Launched Beams towards Saix as he ran Zig-zag style away from the Gyarados. The Gyarados finnaly threw another beam at SAix which hit right behind him, blowing up everything behind and in front of him. The blast then tripped Saix! He tumbled to the ground, face down. He felt a sharp pain in his knee, steadily rose up, and continued running from the Gyrados.

Lucas took out a Pokeball from his pocket and threw it. A Turtwig came out for the Pokeball!
"Turtwig use Razor Leaf! aim at the Gyarados's head!" The TUrtwig obeyed and quickly launed a RAzor Leaf attack. The Leaves spun and smacked the Gyarados in it's eye! Saix finnaly caught up to HIkari and Lucas. He panted quickly, feeling his knee burn.
"Hikari!" Lucas shouted. "Hikari, Take Saix and find Professor Rowan! He'll know what to do!"
"Lucas! You won't be able to hold off a Gyarados with just a Turtwig!" Hikari remarked as she was helping Saix up.
"Don't worry! I'll be fine!" Lucas reassured Hikari. "Turtwig use another Razor Leaf!" Turtwig shot more Razor Leafs at the GYarados, While Saix and Hikari hurried away to Professor Rowan.

Thats it. This chapter will be continued in the Next Chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.

 

[Sakosimaru]

Well eveyone, this is the third chapter in Saix's Journey. I hope you all like it.

Chapter 3: SMASH! Greatest battle at the worst time!

Saix And Hikari found Professor Rowan examining a nearby Bidoof. It was not the time to describe it though, Lucas could be in danger.
"Professor Rowan!" Hikari exclaimed.
"Yes?" He spun around to ask why Hikari needed him, but a Giant Red Gyarados caught his attention instead.
"Lucas!" He Exclaimed. He glanced at the kids and had a thought.
"Okay. You two, take these Pokeballs, and help Lucas fight that Gyarados. I'm going to watch." Rowan smirked as Hikari and Saix were amazed that he would not care that much. Saix didn't stare to long though. He grabbed one of the Pokeballs from Professor Rowan, and limped towards Lucas.

"Turtwig use another Razor Leaf!" Lucas shouted. Turtwig readied another Razor Leaf. It jumped up into the air and shot three leaves at the gyarados. The Attack bounced off of the Gyarados's Neck. The Gyarados then suddenly jumped out of the water and flew towards Turtwig!
"I don't get it! Gyarados can't fly!" Lucas screamed. He hopelessly watched as the Gyarados Thrased about, Smacking and biting his Turtwig!
"Lucas! Let me Help!" Saix hollered.
"No Saix! You don't even have a pokemon!"
"Oh yeah?" SAix smiled as he threw his first pokeball. "GO Pokemon!" A Piplup Popped out of the Pokeball. It was about 2 feet tall, and looked like a miniature penguin. It waddled around and finnaly looked up at the Gyarados.

"Saix! Tell Piplup to attack using a pokemon move!" Lucas yelled.
"Uh.. Okay. Piplup! Use Razor Leaf!" Saix stammered. Lucas ran over to Saix and Slapped him. SAix blinked wondering why Piplup Had not used RAzor Leaf, and why he was just slapped; By a Guy!
"What was that for?"
"A Water Type Pokemon like Piplup can't use a Grass type moves that Turtwig knows! Tell it to use moves like Bubblebeam, or Tackle, or even Bubble!"

Saix decided to listen to Lucas. What moves would be strongest on a water type..? He thought. Grass and Electric!
"Piplup, Let's just go with Bubblebeam! Aim it at Gyarados's Eyes!" Piplup obeyed, and Bubbles were launched from Piplup's Beak: They flew into the Gyarados's eyes and irritated them. THe Gyarados closed it's eyes, to sheild itself from the irritation.
"Now Chimchar! Use Flame Wheel!" A voice annouced. A Flaming Wheel spun into the air and landed on the Gyarados's neck! The Gyarados fell down, and landed on the ground. The Chimchar backflipped and landed next to Hikari.

"Good Show you three!" Professor Rowan Exclaimed. He began clapping his hands as a sign of congratulation. "You Two did execptionally well with those pokemon. How would you like to keep them?" He Asked. Hikari and Saix looked at the Pokemon next to them and exclaimed their answers:
"Yeah!"

Now that Saix and Hikari have Pokemon, their true adventure will begin. It will be a whole lot tougher than taking down that Gyrados, but it will also be more fun then they could ever imagine!

NOTE: I was pressed for time with this chapter. I hope you can forgive me for sloppily desribing the Starter Pokemon.

 

[Forretress Fan]

I say this is a pretty good Fic for your first one.
But in the last chapter its like Hikari never opened the pokeball.
You seem to have words LIke THis SOmetimes, but common mistake
I hope You hurry up the next chapter, And have the Red gyarados make a reappearance.

Hehehe Piplup using Razor Leaf
You totally captured Saix's Personality

 

[Sakosimaru]

Chapter 4: Dawn breaker

Saix Opened his eyes. He was laying down in his bed. He glanced to the left of the bed and looked into a mirror. His Desk was next to the mirror. He looked around his room again, and saw that the Windows, and the door to the hallway were shut. He cautiously got up out of his bed only to notice that his knee was bandaged up.
Gosh. Did I really get a Pokemon yesterday? He wondered as he limped to his desk.
He sat down at his desk and closed his eyes, to try to recall the events of last night...

Yesterday, 6:30 pm

Lucas helped Saix limp over to Professor Rowan's Lab. Professor Rowan was leading them all past Twinleaf town, while Hikari followed him from behind, checking behind her to make sure that Lucas and Saix were okay.

She smiled as she took another look at her red pokeball. Chimchar was a fire type pokemon, and a good one at that Hikari noted. Hmmm.. If I were to have a battle against Lucas's Turtwig, I'd be sure to have the advantage! But I'm not so sure about battling Saix's Piplup... Hikari took another glance at the Pokeball in her hand containing Chimchar. But you know what? I really don't care!


After a long trek up route 201, Lucas helped Saix into Professor Rowan's lab. It was dim lit, so Saix could not make anything in the lab out. All he could see was the silloetes of lab machinery and gadgets. Professor Rowan motined for them all to come in, as he turned on the lights. The Labrotory suddenly lit up, and Saix could see everything inside of it! There were Machines and clipboards all over the place. Other people were doing tests on some of the pokemon, and one person was trying to catch a runaway Straly.


They all walked over to an area with three chairs next to each other. In front of the chairs, there was a long table. The Table had a small cardboard box on it. Lucas helped Saix sit down on one of the Charis, while he and Hikari sat down on the other two.


Professor Rowan went to the other side of the Big table and opened up the cardboard box. He smirked and smiled.
"In this box I have two special prizes. I will give each of you a pokeball. Return here tomorrow and trade in the pokeball for one of the prizes in this box. " The Professor stopped. Hikari had raised her hand.
"Yes Hikari?"
"Professor, if there are only Two prizes, then one person won't get one!" She exclaimed. The Professor smiled.
"That is exactly the point Hikari. Whoever get here first tomorrow will get the prizes. the last person here gets nothing, and their pokemon taken away. " Saix and Hikari were thrown away by this remark.
"Also, there are two more catches! If your Pokeball gets even a scratch on it, then I will also take your pokemon away!" Professor Rowan smiled and looked at the faces of despair on Hikari and Saix's faces.
"But for now, It's getting late. Here are your Pokeballs. " The Professor gave each one of them a pokeball, and shoved them out the door.


Saix looked at his pokeball and put it in his pocket. He started to limp from the Labratory, but Hikari caught up to him.
"Saix, I don't want my pokemon to be taken away.." She whined.
"Don't worry. I have a plan." He smiled and took a phone out of his pocket. He dialed his mother.
"Hey Mom..?" He asked.
"Yes Honey?" Saix's mother replied over the phone.
"Mom, can you come and pick me and Hikari up? It's getting kind of late, and I can't walk back home." There was a slight pause.
"One. Why can't you walk home? And two, Where are you?" His mother was starting to sound agitated.
"Ermm, mom, were in Sandgem town and I sort of busted my Knee." There was suddenly a moment of silence.
"WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR ALL THE WAY IN SANDGEM TOWN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! SAIX YOU BETTER BE JOKING, BECAUSE I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO COME PICK YOU AND HIKARI UP JUST BECAUSE YOU GUYS GOT LOST!!" She screamed.
"Sigh.. I'll be there in about 15 minutes..." She continued.
Saix and Hikari looked at each other and started laughing.

PRESENT DAY

Saix got back on his feet and stretched his arm out. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He started to limp to the door. He opened the door and set foot on the wooden stairs to the Living room. He took one step and then.. He slipped and fell head-first down the stairs. He tried to stop but he couldn't! He finnaly hit his head on the ground and quickly turned his head. Up in the air was the pokeball. It fell down the stairs, hit the floor, and smashed into pieces.

END OF CHAPTER

NOTE: Dun Dun Dun! Saix is really in for it now!

 

[Sakosimaru]

Chapter 5: Smash! Gotta catch Hikari!

Saix looked at the smashed pokeball. He stared at the red and white shards of it. Saix got up and sat himself down. The fact that his knee was in pain was no longer important to him. He had destroyed his pokeball. Now that mean old Professor was going to take his Piplup away.

Saix took out Piplup's pokeball. He tossed it into the air.
"Piplup. Come on out." He muttered. Piplup came out of its pokeball and happily ran up to Saix. It climed up his leg, and sat itself upon his lap.

Saix glanced at Piplup. the pokemon was so attached to him, after only one battle. Geez, Piplup sure does like me. I wonder if Hikari broke her Pokeball. Nah, she probally didn't. He thought to himself.
"Wait sec!" Saix exclaimed. He Picked up Piplup and hurried over to Hikari's home.

Saix ran up to the door and knocked on it. Johanna (Hikari's mother) answered the door.
"Why hello Saix! Have you come to see Hikari?" She asked.
"Yeah! Do you know where she is?! Its important!" He answered.
"Why, She just left towards Sandgem town. If you hurry you can catch her." Johanna remarked.
"Thanks Lady!" Saix exclaimed as he held Piplup and ran towards his house.

Saix and Piplup came back to Saix's home.
"Okay Piplup, get a load of this." Saix told Piplup. He picked up a Remote and pressed the only button on it. Saix ran outside and Piplup followed him. A large door opened, and Saix happily exclaimed "Piplup! I'd like you to meet my bike! I named her Diamond!" Saix peddeled a Mountin bike out of the doors. He picked up Piplup and started peddeling on his bike towards route 201.

END OF CHAPTER

NOTE: Yeah its a short chapter, but I did the best I could for the time being. My internet is a little wonky, so I can only write half of what I usually write in a chapter or else my Computer will lock up. Please Bear with me people.

 

[Titan500]

Nice fic but aint ya gonna do more?

 

[Sakosimaru]

Whoa! Sorry I haven't been on in a while people! I was just getting a bit of writers block. But don't worry! I'll be writing more!
So with out any further ado;

Chapter 6: Race to Hikari! Race to the Professor!

Saix was peddling as fast as he possibly could. He was out on an open road riding his bike towards Sandgem town. He glanced down at Piplup and looked back up at the road in front of him.

He could see nothing but tall, slim trees in the distance. Saix made them out to be pine trees. He looked up at the sky while peddeling as fast as he could. He could see rainclouds in the distance. Saix worriedly started peddeling his bike even faster, so fast that it switched gears.

If I can catch up to Hikari, Saix started to think I could tell her my plan! Saix looked back towards the road again. He could see a small figure in the distance. He squinted his eyes. It was Hikari!

"HIKARI!" Saix screamed at the top of his lungs. "HIKARI WAIT!" He started panting, and losing control of his bike. He gripped his handlebars and got the bike back on the track of the road.

Hikari heard a faint noise in the distance. She stopped her bike and got off of it. She turned around to see Saix peddeling like mad on his Bike towards her. Only, he wasn't slowing down! Hikari turned around again and got back on her bike. Saix is just probally going to tell be thtat he broke his pokeball. Well I'm not giving mine up! She muttered to herself.

Saix started chasing Hikari around on his bike. He started to gain on her, Zooming down the road closer and closer to the rain and the Forest. Hikari swereved to try to get Saix of her tail, But Saix still followed her.

There's no way I'm letting saix get this pokeball! Hikari thought. She tossed a real pokeball feet in front of her. An energetic Chimchar came out of it's pokeball. It looked happy at first, until Hikari smashed into it with her head. It got very angry with her.
"Look Chimchar, Now is not the time!" She screamed at the little Chimp.
"Now listen! I need you to get on the back of my bike and to use and Ember facing the other way okay?" She asked. THe Chimchar nodded its head yes, and climbed onto the back of the bike. It faced towards Saix and let out an Ember attack!

"AHH!" Saix screamed as tiny Embers started pelting him. They burned badly. Saix looked at Chimchar, Happily blasting embers at them.
"Piplup!" Saix shouted. His Piplup looked at him. "I need you to use your bubble to counter the Chimchar's Embers. Whenever it Uses ember, use Bubble right at it okay?" He asked. Piplup obliged, and started firing off Bubbles at the Chimchar's Embers!

A Large explosion occured! Everytime the Bubbles and Embers met, a deep fog surrounded the two Pokemon!

Piplup attempted to see where the chimchar was, but with all of the deep fog, He couldn't see a thing! Piplup took a shot and blasted BUbbles all around him. Chimchar could barely see any of the bubbles, but it knew they were coming. Suddenly, One bubble flew over Chimchar's Head, and Hit Hikari in the back. Hikari swereved and Chimchar went beserek, firing off embers everywhere!

Saix narrowly doged a Ember, which flew right past him. He turned around to see the ember fly off behind him. While he was looking back, he realized that the other embers were still coming! Embers flew all around him, and one hit his bike's Tire, melting it into the ground. Saix and Piplup flew off of the bikes, and landed on the ground.

Saix layed on the ground across form Hikari. He turned his head up to look at her and make sure she was safe. He looked over at Piplup who was knocked out cold. He glanced at Hikari's Chimchar who was also knocked out. He finnaly looked at hikari again. Near her pocket was a broken pokeball. Great. Now my plan will never work. He decided to get up from the ground.

Saix got up and took out Piplup's pokeball. "Piplup, Return" He commanded. Piplup returned into it's pokeball. He helped Hikari up. She stared at him, and then looked at her crushed pokeball on the ground.

"Thanks a lot Saix." Hikari said. She got her bike up and got back on it. She then took off into the woods.

Saix looked on as she peddled away from him. He took a deep sigh, and looked at his destroyed bike. He headed into the woods as it started to rain.

END OF CHAPTER

Yep. What a terrible ending. Well, just so you know, it will be resolved in the next chapter or two. For now though, I have to go and do some more brainstorming.

PS: I notice a lot of people read this, and yet they don't leave replies. Please don't be shy. Critisim is good (if its constructive.)

 

[//Mix\\]

Very interesting! First fic, is it? I like your characters. They seem really realistic. Is Hikari based on Dawn from the show? Keep up the good writing, chickie!

~Mix

 

[Sakosimaru]

Hmm. I really based Hikari's Looks off of Dawn, But not the attitude. Hikari's attitude is actually based off of my sisters.

Anyways, here is Chapter 7, the Climax of the Journey to Professor Rowan.

Chapter 7: Saix and Hikari: Friends no more?

Saix finnaly made his way out of the forest. It had been a boring hike, but a short one. He looked drearily up and saw a large hill. He set towards it, only thinking about Hikari's overreaction to what he had done.

If only Hikari had actually stopped to let me talk to her. Then I could have told her my great loophole. But now she's never going to talk to me ever again...

Saix fiannly made it to the top of the hill. He peered over it to see a Small town in the distance. Probally has to be Sandgem town. Saix reasoned. He walked down the hill and came into a road.

The Town was small; there were about only 25 houses in sight. In front of each house there was a medium sized lawn, and a sidewalk. Saix noticed that each house looked the same as the next one, as if they were all clones of one house.

He walked over to a street corner and saw an older man walking by.
"Excuse me sir?" Saix (for the first time) politely asked. The man looked at him with a quizzical expression on his face.
"Yes?" He responeded.
"Well I was wondering if you could tell me where Prfoessor Rowan's Lab is." Saix pleaded.

The Man pointed at a 4-story building right accross the street from him. Saix thanked the man and hurriedly crossed the street.

He had come back to the Old Lab where he was yesterday. He glanced at the perfectly mowed lawn, where Hikari's tattered bike layed on the ground. He walked up the steps and faced the front door. He knocked three times.

There was no answer! Saix knocked again. Suddenly, a man opened the door. Hmm. This must be one of Professor Rowan's assistants Lucas was talking about.
"Please state your buisness." The man asked.
"Umm, I'm here to visit Professor Rowan. My name is Saix."
"Very well, Follow me." The man motioned for Saix to come inside the Lab. He followed inside.

The Lab looked the same as last time: Pieces of Machinerey everywhere, and many clipboards and boxes lay on tables scattered around the lab. Saix followed the Man until they reached a door. THe Man motioned again for SAix to open the door. Saix cautiosly went inside, and the Man shut the door tight after Saix got in.

Saix saw the room He, Lucas, and Hikari were in last night. Hikari was grumpily sitting down at one end of the table. Saix decided not to take his chances and to sit on the other side of the table. For a few minutes there was an awkward silence.

"Well Saix, Are you going to apollogize for destoying my only chance at keeping Chimchar?" Hikari grumpily asked.
Saix looked up at Hikari.
"I only have Three things to say. One, You were the one who instigated this whole thing! I was just trying to tell you my plan so that we both could keep our pokemon no matter what! Two, You started to Throw embers at me! DO YO KNOW HOW MUCH THEY HURT?" Saix was screaming now.
"AND THREE! YOU DESTROYED MY 1,000,000 POKE BIKE!" He stopped himself.

Hikari looked at him angrily. She then changed her look to a sad look.
"Sorry Saix. It's just that for as long as we have known each other, You've always been the one to play pranks on people like me. I tohught you were just going to try to steal my pokeball."
She then looked at Saix straight in the eye.
"So What's your plan Saix?" She asked.

Saix smiled. It was all coming together now.

END OF CHAPTER

NOTE: Those of you who are wondering what the heck Saix's plan is, It will finnaly be announced in the next chapter. Until then, See ya!

 

[Zadros]

It's an interesting story, but I'd make the chapters a bit longer if I were you.

 

[Sakosimaru]

Sorry its been a while guys. Anyways, Here is chapter 8.

Chapter 8: All my loving

Saix casually glanced at the clock in the small room. It read 7:23. Where was the professor? He had been waiting with Hikari for over an hour now. Saix floded his arms and repositioned himself to be facing the front of the small room. Hikari was sitting down on his Left, eagerly waiting for Professor Rowan to come.

Finally, Professor Rowan opened the door into the small room and sat down accross from Saix and Hikari. Lucas hurriedly followed the Professor in, and took a seat to the right of Saix. Saix saw that the Professor had brought the box he had with him yesterday.

"Well?" The Professor asked. He motioned for the kids to give them his pokeballs. Lucas handed over his, but Hikari and Saix had nothing to give him.
"Saix and Hikari!" The Professor exclaimed. He angrily looked at the two kids who had not turned in their pokeballs.
"Why haven't you given me your pokeballs?" He asked them. Saix opened his mouth, ready with their answer.

"To be honest sir, I Hikari broke my pokeball, and then I broke Hikari's pokeball too." Saix smiled as the Professor's disposition changed.
"Well, then you two failed the test. Give me your real pokeballs." The Professor held out his hand waiting for the kids to give their pokeballs to him. Lucas Watched as Hikari and Saix did nothing!
"Professor Rowan" Hikari started, "you of all people should know that you specifially said that if we broke our own pokeballs, then we wouldn't get our prizes, and we would get our pokemon taken away." Hikari happily smiled at Professor Rowan.
"You see, We broke each other's pokeballs, Meaning that you can't take our pokemon away, because I wasn't the one to break my pokeball and vice versa for Hikari! Also, we were the first ones here, because we rushed here, so that means we deserve our pokemon and those prizes!" Saix finished.

The Professor was bewildered. Two children had found a loophole in his test. He faintly smiled and opened up the box containing the prizes. He opened the box and rustled through a large amount of bubble wrap. finnaly, he took out what looked two handheld computers. One was Blue, and the other one was Pink. He handed the two items to Hikari and Saix.

"These are your Pokedex's. They are state of the art mini- computers that have data on every single pokemon that has been discovered so far. As Pokemon trainers, your jobs will be to help me catch one pokemon from each species." The Professor Proudly have the kids their Pokedex's and sat back down.

Saix and Hikari held their Pokedex's in their hands. Saix carefully put his in his pocket, thinking about what the Professor said. Hikari also looked at her pokedex for a moment. But then put it down. She looked at Lucas. He was acting unusually happy for someone who lost the contest for the prizes.

"Lucas?" Hikari asked.
"Hunh?" He answered.
"Your not sad at all that you didn't get a pokedex. Why?" She asked again. Lucas smiled and took out a yellow Pokedex.
"Because, I already have one. I was puposely supposed to come late. You see, The professor uses the fragile pokeballs as a test to see if you can really take care of a pokemon." Lucas smiled.

"Today You children start your journey as pokemon trainers. I don't expect you all to take the same path, but I do hope you will all work to strive to be the best trainers you all can be!" Professor Rowan stated. "Lucas will periodically help you two along your journey." He added.
"Now, Why don't you kids head on back to Twinleaf town? Tomorrow you can start your adventure." The Professor Pushed all three kids out the door. He walked up some stairs and looked out of a window. Hikari and Saix headed off towards Twinleaf town, and Lucas headed to his house across the street. Ah, the youth. Always striving for adventure. The Professor thought, as he watched Saix and Hikari walk home.

 

[Sakosimaru]

GOSH It has been a while since I posted the next chapter. Well here it is.

Chapter 9: Mercury, Venus, and Mars part 1

A young man looked out of the window of the four story high Team Galaxy building. He saw the Game corner nearby the Department store. He smiled and closed the window overlooking Veilstone city.

The Man sternously looked around his humble apartment. Ever since he had joined team Galaxy, he had been striving for on of the commander positions. He was sad that he did not get to be a commander, but he was overjoyed that today was his promotion to Captian of the Special Objective squad.

The Young Galactic got up, and walked over to his Wardrobe. He selected a grey and white suit that would be his new uniform. He quickly got dressed, and went over to his mirrior.

He was about six feet tall, had no bangs and no facial hair in sight. He saw that he was semi-muscular and had no name tag on. He looked around his apartment. There was only his wardrobe, a bed, two windows, and his mirrior. No more office flunky for him. Today, he was becoming Captian Mercury Of the Team Galaxy Special Objective Squad!!

MEANWHILE

A Scrawny oyung man exited his dormitory. Today he was being promoted to Lieutenant of the Special Objectives Squad. Only Lieutenant though! He could not express his disdain for being the right hand yes man to a 19-year old child, while he himself was already turning 30!

He prominently put on his name-tag and walked down the Dormitory hall. Galaxy grunts saw him stride down the hall, with no pride left. He was so mad in fact, he didn't even notice that his name tag had fallen off.

One of the grunts ran over and picked up the fallen name tag. It read "Lieutenant Venus".

END OF CHAPTER

I can't express How sorry I am that this chapter was so short. I plan on making the scond half later today, and it will be the other half of the chapter. Yet again, sorry this segment was so short.

 

[The Doctor]

...Did you seriously listen to my advice? Because it doesn't look like it. This work had potential but is now dangerously on its way to cliche Original Trainer fic because you don't listen to your critic(s); which was me.

Description is still choppy and all too easy to understand, you capitalise random words for no real purpose whatsoever and you're falling into the worst possible trap by slavishly re-treading the games path; getting starter, heading to next town; we've seen it all before. Your chapters are also so short it's not even prologue-length; and hell, that's the only time you can do a short chapter! This doesn't look anymore than 3 pages on MS Word.

You didn't listen, or if so you barely listened, first time around because I was being polite. I operate on a one-chance system and you just blew it. If you haven't improved next time, this thread will very likely be closed and you will fear my wrath; I can be harsh, it's the only way people ever listen. You have been warned.