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Poke'mon Crazy!

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Pikachu!84

Pikachu Obsessed!
Note that you have to like Code Lyoko to get it!
If you have any ideas PM me.


Chapter 1: Pikachus!



Ulrich, Yumi, Odd, Aelita, and Jeremy were in Lilycove City when they saw
Ulrich's twin sister Rose running up too them.

Rose: Guess what?
All: What?
Rose: I just saw Professor Birch and he is going to give us all a Pikachu!
Odd: What a Pikachu like Ash has?
Rose: Yes!
Jeremy: Cool let's go!


When they got there, there was 6 Pikachus and a Pikachu ran to each of them.

Professor Birch: Yumi's Pikachu is Buttons. Buttons is a boy Pikachu he
has a black hat. Ulrich's Pikachu is Sparky. Sparky is a girl Pikachu she
has a pink hat with a dark pink bow. Rose's Pikachu is Spark. Spark is a
boy Pikachu with a Union Jack hat. (Sparky and Spark are twins and
they are from London England). Aelita's Pikachu is Steven. Steven is a
boy Pikachu with a pink striped hat. He is like Aelita love pink. Odd's
Pikachu is Danielle . Danielle is a girl Pikachu she is brown and pink with
a light pink neck bow tie. Jeremy's Pikachu is Jessica. Jessica is a girl
Pikachu with a dark blue bow. Ok here are your Poke'balls and Poke'Dex.

Aelita: Wow thanks Professor Birch. Bye.
Ulrich & Rose: Thanks bye.
Yumi: Yes thanks they are so cute Sayonara!
Jeremy: Wow! Thanks bye.
Odd: This is so cool thanks bye.


When they got outside they saw a girl about 10 with blue eyes and brown
hair, when she saw them she started to run up to them.

????: Hi my name is Kirsten and I have something cool. Do you want one?
Jeremy: What is it?
She showed them a piece of candy.
Ulrich: A piece of candy.
Kirsten: When you eat it you can understand what Poke'mon say forever!
Yumi: What are you joking!
Kirsten: No! Try it!
All: Ok!
They ate it and....
Jessica Look at the cute sun!
All: !!!!
Rose: It....It...Worked!
Kirsten: Yep! Bye!
All: Bye?
 

Pokefan20010

Was Pokefan20010!
OK, this is too short.

It was formatted for a window about this wide.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's either script or normal. Not both.

All: Ok!
They ate it and....
Jessica Look at the cute sun!
All: !!!!
Huh? That doesn't make sense.

Pokémon isn't spelt Poke'mon! It isn't a contraction! It contains an acute accent (like on the (properly written) é)!

Yumi's Pikachu is Buttons. Buttons is a boy Pikachu he
has a black hat. Ulrich's Pikachu is Sparky. Sparky is a girl Pikachu she
has a pink hat with a dark pink bow.
could be better as
Yumi's Pikachu is Buttons. Buttons is a boy Pikachu. He
has a black hat. Ulrich's Pikachu is Sparky. Sparky is a girl Pikachu with a pink hat and a dark pink bow.

Either past tense or present tense (except in speech). Not both.

There was some other incorrect grammar, such as lack of commas.

I think I've said enough now.
 
Why is this formatted to one side and basically just an extensively watered down script? Don't you bother to read the rules anymore? Not there to sit, glitter and look pretty.

It's slow, repeative, exceedingly dull and chucks any interest I might have in reading within the fist few lines.


Read the Fanfiction Rules, read Advice for Aspiring Authors, read how a proper piece of written work is done.

Closed for slipping far beyond the most basic of quality standards and not rule reading. If you didn;t understand something in them surely you coulda asked.

Sandra
 
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