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Pokemon Fairy Tale: Quest to Save Hoenn

orochi

Well-Known Member
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Art and Story by me

Here is another manga by me and a friend: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?580240-Blood-Type-P

I would REALLY appreciate some feedback. Fust ask questions, comment, critique, tell me your favorite part, or throw out some ideas. Something! ...Please ^w^

Since my camera doesn't take the greatest pictures I will type out the dialogue occationally. Sorry, my handwriting is terrible in all caps. XD

I will tell my viewers when the next pages will be up:
What's today....? 9/15/2013.

Um I've currently switch over to Blood Type P. I am switching back and forth to do both stories. I will spend a week on each manga.

Prologue

The story takes place with three characters. Zeru, Luna, and Miles have been life long friends who lived in Verdanturf town in the Hoenn region. Zeru obtained his shiny tailow from his grandfather. Luna met zorua while she was vistiting family in the Unova region. Miles bonded with his infernape when it was just a chimchar after he met Professor Rowan in the Sinnoh region during a business trip with his father. Each of them have a set goal while they stay in the Hoenn region. Luna wants to win at the grand festival with her zorua. Zeru wants to compete in races that use flying type pokemon. Miles being the one who has had the longest relationship with his pokemon, is trying to find a set goal for him and his pokemon.

Which brings us to today. Zeru, Luna and Miles have decided to travel together now that they all have a pokemon. It has been a week since they left Verdanturf Town, and they made it to Slateport City in hopes for Luna to win her first ribbon. (I know that there is a pokemon contest in Verdnturf, but I wanted her first contest to be away from home)

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Zeru: I don't think Tailow is up for it

Taillow: NO!

Luna: Please Miles!!!!

Miles: Are you sure you want to go up against Infernape?


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(Sorry this page is a bit backwards on dialogue)

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Infernape: "Smerk"

Luna: Oh! What should I do now?

Miles:You need to work harder. Try to utilize zorua's illusion

Luna and Zorua: We are not as weak as they think we are...
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Luna: Zorua! Show them what you can do!

Zorua: I'll show them what Unova is all about!

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Miles: H...How is Zorua able to do that? Infernape it one thing, but Reshiram?

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Zoroark watch as Luna helped train Zorua for the remaining days that Luna was to stay in the Unova region. Zoroark grew to trust Luna just as Zorua does. Luna's heart touched Zoroark's and zoroark decided to let Zoru train with Luna from now on.

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Zorua: Before I left, I promised that I would become the very best Illusion Maste(r) AND I WILL *sorry about the misspell XD*

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special chapter
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Keizaal

bring me to life
Wow, this art is FANTASTIC! I'm loving the effects that your putting into this. (Reshiram's roar, "Slam!" even "Plop!", The dust around Reshiram as Zoroark transformed, the dynamic panel borders.) It adds much more sense into the comic. Very well done! Absolutely ADORING your art style and poses.

The one thing that bothers me is that your story started rather abruptly. We never had a chance to get to know the characters, their personalities, how they met, etc. Unless you are using flashbacks later on in the story, things like this should be shown.

For your text, you're missing a couple commas. (Ok, now use Night Daze!") Where Miles says "You need to work harder.", wouldn't "harder" be in the same bubble as the rest of the sentence? Also, Zoroark seems like a Pokemon that wouldn't use conjunctions like don't, won't, etc. Just an opinion.

Definitely looking forward to more!
 

orochi

Well-Known Member
Wow, this art is FANTASTIC! I'm loving the effects that your putting into this. (Reshiram's roar, "Slam!" even "Plop!", The dust around Reshiram as Zoroark transformed, the dynamic panel borders.) It adds much more sense into the comic. Very well done! Absolutely ADORING your art style and poses.

The one thing that bothers me is that your story started rather abruptly. We never had a chance to get to know the characters, their personalities, how they met, etc. Unless you are using flashbacks later on in the story, things like this should be shown.

For your text, you're missing a couple commas. (Ok, now use Night Daze!") Where Miles says "You need to work harder.", wouldn't "harder" be in the same bubble as the rest of the sentence? Also, Zoroark seems like a Pokemon that wouldn't use conjunctions like don't, won't, etc. Just an opinion.

Definitely looking forward to more!
Thanks. I had a few mistakes in there with spelling I know ^^' I really need to work on my penmanship XD. Drawing it one thing. I can fix my mistakes without people noticing. Writing on the other hand is harder. I'll do my best to be more careful XD But the next part will come later after I buy a new sketchbook. I took up the rest of the pages make thing this.

The characters lives will be in flashbacks like how part of zorua's was made. There is much more to the story so it isn't going to be short. I want to give each character a good background, but the story I'm making is quite long. I don't want to spend too much money on it either. Pens and books can be expensive, yet I love making it so much that I buy gatorade to keep myself up past midnight working on it XD
 

Codeepfly

MyCaruba
I'm diggin this comic ! Only asking its not as fuzzy. But I can't wait to see the story unfold or what you do with your characters. I smell a love triangle!
 

orochi

Well-Known Member
I'm diggin this comic ! Only asking its not as fuzzy. But I can't wait to see the story unfold or what you do with your characters. I smell a love triangle!
I take like 10,000 pics trying to make it "not fuzz" XD Different position, lighting, and settings. I'm using my Ds for a camera so we all know how that is. I'll save up for a cmera
 
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pikaskipper

Blue Screen Of Death
This is an awesome comic! I love how infernape is shocked to see a reshiram! XD good luck continuing the comic!
 

nathandg0924

Back in the meantime
As always with your works, it's amazing. The story's quite interesting and it's pretty nice to see how this will go. While not exactly clear and all, it's still pretty visible and actually, you're writing is decent enough too. I'll be checking this once in a while or whenever. :)
 

orochi

Well-Known Member
Chapter Notice

A special chapter will be released on Tuesday September 10. It's my birthday that day so.......Well a friend though that it would be a great idea to make a special chapter to celebrate it. So I guess it's like me making a birthday present for myself to share with everyone. I hope you guys like it when it is released.​
 

pikaskipper

Blue Screen Of Death
Amazing so far! I love it! Keep up the good work! =)
 

Ninfia-Fan

Well-Known Member
I like this, so far. You're a very good artist; I doubt I could even draw Poochyena properly... I'll be sticking around to read this!
 
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