Pokemon Journey Of a Life

[firetamer]

This is my first Pokemon fan fic, I will son be adding covesations in chapter 4 or 5 to make it more intresting. Hopefully I will get time to make more chapters and as far as I'm planning there will be over 20 chapters, if I'm lucky enough there will be 40+.

Note: Can the comments and questions be in PM

Chapter 1- New Freind, New Journey, New Life!

Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male)

As I got up and got dressed I was thinking about what Pokemon I will chose to go with on my journey across Kanto. My choses were Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle, the catch was you have to get one of these Pokemon before the other trainers get them. I walked down to have my breakfast with my parents and little brother, who will be starting his journey next year if he is lucky. I had everything ready to go, as I said my good-byes to my family.

I was going to Profesor Oak's lab all by myself. As I stepped into the lab I saw my rival Robot with a Pokeball in his hand, he started showing of by telling me that he has the best Pokemon of them all. I just walked pass him with a dirty look on my face, I asked Profesor Oak if I could have my Pokemon. He knew who I was and I just picked up the Pokeball with Charmander in it, I was lucky that nobody had taken it yet. I threw the ball and the little red Pokemon came out, I gave it the nickname 'Red'. Profesor Oak gave me a Pokedex and 5 emty Pokeballs.

Robot wanted a Pokemon battle, I agreed to the match and it was my chance to learn how to do a Pokemon battle. I sent out Red while Robot sent out Squirtle, I comanded Ember and Red tried using an ember attack on Squirtle, it did little damage to it. Squirtle used Bubble, it missed Red and it's attack was countered by a Metal Claw attack which did more damage then Ember. Red used Slash, before it hit Squirtle Withdrawed and countered back with Rapid Spin, making Red faint and Robot winning the match.

I finnaly got to start my journey, I was walking on the nice long grass and in fresh air. I saw an Ekans, I got my Pokedex out to let me know what it was. The Pokedex spock, it told me "Ekans curls itself up in a spiral while it rests. Assuming this position allows it to quickly respond to a threat from any direction with a glare from it's upraised head." I said to myself that I have to have it, I sent out my Charmander Red and told it to use Scratch. It was a perfect attack, Ekans suprised both Red and me by using Wrap on Red. I told Red to use Ember while it was wrapped up, it worked and got Ekans to let go and Ekans ran off. I put Red in his Pokeball and chased after the Ekans and it got away before I got a chance to throw a Pokeball.

Then I saw it, it was Viridian City the place I was heading too, I was there already. I went right to the Pokemon Center, rested there and stayed there for the night hoping to catch a Pokemon tommorow.

Chapter 2- Hope Of Luck

Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male), Meditite (Male)


I woke up at the Pokemon Center and checked out, I went to the gym and it turned out I need 7 badges to get in there and the gym leader iten't there. So I left into Viridian Forest, I was hearing lots of noises of Pokemon and I was worried about how I'm going to get around this place.

As I walked around I saw this trainer, he wanted a battle and I said yes to the offer. I sent out my only Pokemon, Red and the trainer sent out a Caterpie, Red took it out in one Ember attack. The trainer sent out his Butterfree, this time it was harder then the Caterpie, Red used Ember and it diden't do as much damage as I thought.

The Butterfree used Confusion making Red confused, Red was attacking at different places and itself. After a few minutes of being confused Red snapped out of it and was able to listen to me without any problems, Red used Ember on Butterfree again but this time Butterfree got hurt more then last time. Red used Scratch on Butterfree before it got a chance to attack, it got hit into a tree and fainted.

We returned our Pokemon, without knowing Beedrill was disturbed becose of the battle I just had. The Beedrill started to chase me and the other trainer, I saw a Meditite just sitting on the ground doing nothing. It was in the way of the Beedrill, so I pcked it up and took it with me. I had to do something so I put Meditite on the ground and sent out Red. The trainer that was with me continued to run without noticing me stopping, I got Red to keep using Ember, but it wasen't good enough to stop all of the beedrill only some of them. Then all of the sudden Meditite used Psychic and it stopped the Beedrill.

Meditite joined me and Red on our journey aross Kanto, I also checked the Pokedex about Meditite "Meditite hightens it's inner energy though meditation. It survives on 1 berry a day. Minimal eating is another aspect of this Pokemon's training." The Pokedex told me. I finnaly got out of Viridian Forest and I had gotten to Pewter City, I knew that I had to go agaist the rock trainer Brock to get a badge.

 

[Heigani]

Bad points:
Short chapters.
Bad grammar.
Lack of real description.
First person perspective (can't stand it, myself).

Good points:
Some description, even if very little.

 

[firetamer]

I have checked my writing and grammar, I correted most/all of the spelling mistakes, I am sure that at least 9/10 spelling mistakes were correted. There will be more people in it, just wait a few more chapters.

 

[Ledian_X]

I'm sorry but this story is too short and the plot makes it very hard to follow. Everything appears to be very rushed and no well thought out. In fact, I do believe that a chapter here has to be at least a page on MS word. Please correct your spelling and listen to what the others have said.

You need to increase the chapter length and spend more time getting to places. Everything is too rushed. Plus, random things happen too often. You can't just have things showing up without reason. Like the meditite. Meditites are native to Hoenn. I really doubt you'd see one close to Viridian City. Also, it is very difficult to have a charmander already know slash right out of the park. Yes, I know you aren't following the games. But, logic helps in the long run.

LX

 

[Astinus]

All of a sudden, the Plot-device Pokémon Beedrill appeared! That was completely random. It didn't feel like the climax of your chapter. And why? There was no description of the feelings of these characters. We, the readers, never get a feeling of what Stuart is experiencing. He acts like a inhuman rubot, which is funny, as that is the name of his rival. Stuart doesn't get excited, sad, angry, happy, frightened... Nothing. We don't even get a feeling that he cares for his family.

Also, there is a lot of things that need explaining. Like the random Meditite. Like LX said, Meditite are native to Hoenn, so there wouldn't be one found in the Kanto region. If it is a wild Pokémon, then it wouldn't take well to Stuart picking it up.

Why does Red the Charmander know attacks higher than its level without any hard work? As shown in the animé, Pokémon have to learn attacks through hard work, not through the wonders of nothing.

Why do you find it unnecessary to have conversations, or any sort of dialogue. Dialogue makes your characters come alive and seem more human. Again, without it, your characters seem like robots.

The Pokedex spock

Why is the Pokédex Spock? Doctor or Vulcan?

Having two chapters in one post is a bad sign. That shows that your fic is lacking in much. Grammar and spelling errors also abound. Plot holes and a lack of explainations make this tedious to read.

-;136;

 

[firetamer]

If there where spelling mistakes I want to see them, I have checked and diden't find any, I mitev missed 1 or 2. Also I had the first 2 chapters have been ready for around a month, I have only finished 8 chapters the first 5 chapters took 4 days to complete each, I just have little time to write so basicly thats the reason it's been rushed, I have also said that there will be conversations starting around chapter 4 or 5, I am sure that there will be longer chapters just wait, it could be until the tenth chapter until it gets longer.

Chapter 3 is up now.

Chapter 3- The Rock Battle Area
Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male), Meditite (Male)


After my rest at the Pokemon Center I went to go agaist Brock the gym leader of Pewter City, he looked like a powerful gym leader and I wasen't sure what to expect of this person. It was disided it was a 2 on 2 battle, he sent out his Geodude and I sent out Red. Geodude used a Rock Tomb on Red, it did serous damage right away, I got Red to use Metal Claw and I was suprised that it did quite alot of damage.

The battle was going good until Red fainted and I had to send out Meditite. It was the first time I had to use Meditite in a battle, I got it to use Brick Break, it got Geodude out of the way. Then the hard part was starting, Brock sent out Onix the rock snake Pokemon. It dug under-ground, I told Meditite to use Bide and so it did. Onix came up and hit Meditite, then using Rock Tomb almost defeting Meditite, Meditite used Bide.

Meditite's Bide attack missed, Meditite fell to the ground and I had to return it. I took my Pokemon to the Pokemon Center, Nurse Joy told me that Meditite could use Reversal a powerful fighting attack and Red could use Metal Claw to beat Brock but it is a good idea to train them first.

I went to find some trees for some training to help beat Brock. I quickly found some trees and got Meditite using it's Reversal attack on 1 of the trees and got Red to use Metal Claw on a tree. After all of the training my Pokemon and me rested for the day hoping we would defet Brock tommorow.

It finnaly was morning and I went back to the gym to go agaist Brock, he knew that I would be back after what has happened yesterday. He sent out Geodude, I sent out Meditite, I sent the first attack Brick Break and it got Geodude in the face knocking it back abit. Geodude Tried to use Rock Tomb, it failed and Meditite used Reversal on Geodude alomost defeting it. Meditite used Confusion to defet Geodude and Onix was sent out. Meditite used Reverasl on Onix but it diden't do as much damage as thought, just in 1 blow Meditite was knocked out.

I sent out Red the only Pokemon I can use now for the match. Red sent a powerful Metal Claw, it missed and got headbutted by Onix, Red was almost down. Red tried another Metal Claw but this time it hit Onix and Onix was just defeted. I had gotten the Boulder Badge and I had started heading to Cerulean City for the Cascade Badge.

 

[Astinus]

If there where spelling mistakes I want to see them, I have checked and diden't find any, I mitev missed 1 or 2. Also I had the first 2 chapters have been ready for around a month, I have only finished 8 chapters the first 5 chapters took 4 days to complete each, I just have little time to write so basicly thats the reason it's been rushed, I have also said that there will be conversations starting around chapter 4 or 5, I am sure that there will be longer chapters just wait, it could be until the tenth chapter until it gets longer.

Chapter 3 is up now.

Chapter 3- The Rock Battle Area
Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male), Meditite (Male)


After my rest at the Pokemon Center I went to go against Brock the gym leader of Pewter City, he looked like a powerful gym leader and I wasn't sure what to expect of this person. It was decided it was a 2 on 2 battle, he sent out his Geodude and I sent out Red. Geodude used a Rock Tomb on Red, it did serious damage right away, I got Red to use Metal Claw and I was suprised that it did quite a lot of damage.

The battle was going good until Red fainted and I had to send out Meditite. It was the first time I had to use Meditite in a battle, I got it to use Brick Break, it got Geodude out of the way. Then the hard part was starting, Brock sent out Onix the rock snake Pokemon. It dug underground, I told Meditite to use Bide and so it did. Onix came up and hit Meditite, then using Rock Tomb almost defeating Meditite, Meditite used Bide.

Meditite's Bide attack missed, Meditite fell to the ground and I had to return it. I took my Pokemon to the Pokemon Center, Nurse Joy told me that Meditite could use Reversal a powerful fighting attack and Red could use Metal Claw to beat Brock but it is a good idea to train them first.

I went to find some trees for some training to help beat Brock. I quickly found some trees and got Meditite using it's Reversal attack on one of the trees and got Red to use Metal Claw on a tree. After all of the training my Pokemon and I rested for the day hoping we would defeat Brock tomorrow.

It finally was morning and I went back to the gym to go against Brock, he knew that I would be back after what has happened yesterday. He sent out Geodude, I sent out Meditite, I sent the first attack Brick Break and it got Geodude in the face knocking it back a bit. Geodude tried to use Rock Tomb, it failed and Meditite used Reversal on Geodude almost defeating it. Meditite used Confusion to defeat Geodude and Onix was sent out. Meditite used Reversal on Onix but it didn't do as much damage as thought, just in one blow Meditite was knocked out.

I sent out Red the only Pokemon I can use now for the match. Red sent a powerful Metal Claw, it missed and got headbutted by Onix, Red was almost down. Red tried another Metal Claw but this time it hit Onix and Onix was just defeated. I had gotten the Boulder Badge and I had started heading to Cerulean City for the Cascade Badge.

There's all your spelling errors only in this chapter. I didn't touch grammar at all.

Still though, where's the human emotions? Stuart nor Brock felt nothing in this match.

 

[Zephyr Flare]

Pathefically short chapters and riddled with typos a good bit of proof reading could easily pick up. It's good to see you ahd the sense to realsie the rules clearly state one chapter per post.

I highly suggest you go read Advice for Aspiring Authord, I did not put it up to look good and in theory I can hope you might actually pick soemthing up from it.


Sandra

 

[Ledian_X]

I see you haven't really listened to the people trying to help you out. That's all we're trying to do and well, I'm ssorry to say that this story is still short and there's no heart.

You need to have dialoge early on so people can have a better feel of the characters. Right now, this seems like a silent movie. Descrption's okay but things don't make sense. A charmander shouldn't have the moveset like that at that level. Rock style moves also do not really effect a Meditite, which is 2X rock with Psychic and fighting style moves.

Also, weren't you just in the Vridian City Pokemon Center? How did he get to Pewter so fast? He'd have to go through the Virdian forest among other things. This story seems so rushed. Slow the hell down!

Oh and try to increase the chapters by like at least 5 pages. According to the rules, the fanfic chapters should have at least that much per chapter. I realize youwrote these a lot time ago but, you need to edit them and right now it seems like you typed them in a reply box.

Please read the Advice for Aspiring Authors thread. We're just trying to help and you seem to be ignoring everyone. Just remember from the onset, stories need to have dialog. Right from the beginning. You can't just tell us what happened. You need to show us and describe. You need to show the characters' emotion.

Right now, the only robots I see are the people in this fic.

LX

 

[Jonouchi]

Ok, where to begin

Spelling errors, too short, the info at the start is unnecessary, and most of all, NO DIALOUGE!!!

I don't care if they talk later. Having a chapter without voices is like...having harry potter without a storyline. Everyone has to talk sometime. It's as if they were just puppets acting silent. Bring life to the characters!

Also, The story is too rushed. I mean..one second he's in Viridian and next he's already in Pewter! There's no need to rush. Pace your story a bit and make it as if it occured in real life. If it were in real life, no one can get to Viridian and Pewter in such a short amount of time. That took a minute when it would have taken him at least an hour, two hours possibly.

READ THE ADVICE GIVEN!!! THEY WILL HELP!!!

 

[Astinus]

This is my first Pokemon fan fic, I will son be adding covesations in chapter 4 or 5 to make it more intresting. Hopefully I will get time to make more chapters and as far as I'm planning there will be over 20 chapters, if I'm lucky enough there will be 40+.

Note: Can the comments and questions be in PM

Chapter 1- New Freind, New Journey, New Life!

Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male)

As I got up and got dressed I was thinking about what Pokemon I will choose to go with on my journey across Kanto. My choices were Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle, the catch was you have to get one of these Pokemon before the other trainers got them. I walked down to have my breakfast with my parents and little brother, who will be starting his journey next year if he is lucky. I had everything ready to go, as I said my good-byes to my family.

I was going to Profesor Oak's lab all by myself. As I stepped into the lab I saw my rival Robot with a Pokeball in his hand, he started showing off by telling me that he has the best Pokemon of them all. I just walked pass him with a dirty look on my face, I asked Profesor Oak if I could have my Pokemon. He knew who I was and I just picked up the Pokeball with Charmander in it, I was lucky that nobody had taken it yet. I threw the ball and the little red Pokemon came out, I gave it the nickname 'Red'. Profesor Oak gave me a Pokedex and 5 empty Pokeballs.

Robot wanted a Pokemon battle, I agreed to the match and it was my chance to learn how to do a Pokemon battle. I sent out Red while Robot sent out Squirtle, I commanded Ember and Red tried using an ember attack on Squirtle, it did little damage to it. Squirtle used Bubble, it missed Red and its attack was countered by a Metal Claw attack which did more damage then Ember. Red used Slash, before it hit Squirtle Withdrew and countered back with Rapid Spin, making Red faint and Robot winning the match.

I finally got to start my journey, I was walking on the nice long grass and in fresh air. I saw an Ekans, I got my Pokedex out to let me know what it was. The Pokedex spoke, it told me "Ekans curls itself up in a spiral while it rests. Assuming this position allows it to quickly respond to a threat from any direction with a glare from its upraised head." I said to myself that I have to have it, I sent out my Charmander Red and told it to use Scratch. It was a perfect attack, Ekans suprised both Red and me by using Wrap on Red. I told Red to use Ember while it was wrapped up, it worked and got Ekans to let go and Ekans ran off. I put Red in his Pokeball and chased after the Ekans and it got away before I got a chance to throw a Pokeball.

Then I saw it, it was Viridian City the place I was heading too, I was there already. I went right to the Pokemon Center, rested there and stayed there for the night hoping to catch a Pokemon tomorrow.

Chapter 2- Hope Of Luck

Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male), Meditite (Male)


I woke up at the Pokemon Center and checked out, I went to the gym and it turned out I need 7 badges to get in there and the gym leader wasn't there. So I left into Viridian Forest, I was hearing lots of noises of Pokemon and I was worried about how I'm going to get around this place.

As I walked around I saw this trainer, he wanted a battle and I said yes to the offer. I sent out my only Pokemon, Red and the trainer sent out a Caterpie, Red took it out in one Ember attack. The trainer sent out his Butterfree, this time it was harder then the Caterpie, Red used Ember and it didn't do as much damage as I thought.

The Butterfree used Confusion making Red confused, Red was attacking at different places and itself. After a few minutes of being confused Red snapped out of it and was able to listen to me without any problems, Red used Ember on Butterfree again but this time Butterfree got hurt more then last time. Red used Scratch on Butterfree before it got a chance to attack, it got hit into a tree and fainted.

We returned our Pokemon, without knowing Beedrill was disturbed because of the battle I just had. The Beedrill started to chase me and the other trainer, I saw a Meditite just sitting on the ground doing nothing. It was in the way of the Beedrill, so I picked it up and took it with me. I had to do something so I put Meditite on the ground and sent out Red. The trainer that was with me continued to run without noticing me stopping, I got Red to keep using Ember, but it wasen't good enough to stop all of the Beedrill only some of them. Then all of the sudden Meditite used Psychic and it stopped the Beedrill.

Meditite joined me and Red on our journey aross Kanto, I also checked the Pokedex about Meditite "Meditite hightens it's inner energy though meditation. It survives on one berry a day. Minimal eating is another aspect of this Pokemon's training." The Pokedex told me. I finnaly got out of Viridian Forest and I had gotten to Pewter City, I knew that I had to go against the rock trainer Brock to get a badge.

And there's your spelling errors from the first two chapters. Ask, and ye shall receive. Here there are. Zephyr Flare's first sentence is a wonderful point.

Please, we're only trying to help. Listen to us. If the majority of reviewers are pointing out some advice, digest it in and use the information well.

 

[firetamer]

This is my first Pokemon fan fic, I will soon be adding covesations in chapter 4 or 5 to make it more intresting. Hopefully I will get time to make more chapters and as far as I'm planning there will be over 20 chapters, if I'm lucky enough there will be 40+.

Note: Can the comments and questions be in PM

Heres some advise to the people that haven't been listening to me, read the writing that is in bold and don't tell me that I diden't say the other stuff that's in bold becose I said that in the first post! Right now I mite only post about 20 chapters on this site, that will be around the forth gym and so far it's estimated that there will be around 100 chapters. Heres the forth chapter.

Chapter 4- The Helper Trainer
Main Person: Stuart (Me)
Main Rival: Robot
Rival's Pokemon: Squirtle
My Pokemon: Charmander (Red)(Male), Meditite (Male), Larvitar (Godzilla)(Male)


I had finnaly made it to Mt. Moon the place where both people and Pokemon can get lost, I was just hoping that was an exit to this place. I was training my Pokemon for the next gym since I heard that the gym leader there uses water Pokemon, and I diden't have any Pokemon that had an attack that would do heaps of damage on them.

I started to get lost and confused, looking around to see if there was anyone around that may be able to give help. I knew that I was lost but I diden't want to admit it, I sent out Red to help me get around Mt. Moon easier. I found a trainer by the name of Max, we adreed that if I win a battle he would help me get out of Mt. Moon.

It was a 1 on 1 match, I sent out Meditite and Max sent out Geodude like the one Brock had. Meditite sent the first move, Confusion! It diden't do much damage to Geodude but it was good enough, Geodude suprised Meditite with a Rock Throw attack, it hit Meditite. Geodude tried another Rock Throw this time it missed and Meditite used Brick Break almost defeting Geodude.

Another Rock Throw from Geodude was used, it hit Meditite again and making Meditite tired. One last move was used, Reveral. It defeted Geodude making me win the match, Max then helped me get though most of Mt. Moon. I then was alone in the dark with Red, I saw a little Pokemon and I checked it up on the Pokedex. It told me about the Pokemon "Larvitar is born deep under the ground. To come up to the surface this Pokemon must eat it's way though the soil above. Until it dose so, Larvitar can't see it's parents face."

"WOW!" I said loudly getting Larviter scared, as it ran off I chased it with Red. Red used an Ember attack to stop it, "Sorry little fella." I said to Larvitar. Larviter talked back in fear "Lar, Lar." "I don't want to hurt you." I said softly, "I want to becose freinds and you could maybe come with me and my Charmander 'Red'." Larviter adreed but it wanted a battle first.

I let Red go agaist Larviter, "Red, use Ember!" Red sent off a round fire ball and hitting Larviter. Larviter got up and used Bite, hurting Red quite badly. "Red keep tring!" I yelled, Red sent off a Slash attack knocking down Larviter, I threw a Pokeball hoping that Larviter would be caught. Waiting for the ball to stop moving left to right, it stopped, I picked the ball up and yelled out "I CAUGHT LARVITER!".

I had finnaly got out of Mt. Moon to the other side, I sent out Meditite and Larviter, and intrdusing Larviter to Meditite, I asked if I could give it a nickname, Larviter nodded and I gave it the nickname Godzilla, I returned Red, Meditite and Godzilla. I finnaly got to Cerulean City, I rushed right to the Pokemon Center to rest myself and my Pokemon for the night.

 

[Yami Ryu]

Here's some advice to the people that haven't been listening to me, read the writing that is in bold and don't tell me that I didn't say the other stuff that's in bold becose I said that in the first post! Right now I might only post about 20 chapters on this site, that will be around the fourth gym and so far it's estimated that there will be around 100 chapters. Heres the fourth chapter

Gods, we have ourselves a noob comidian. Let us applaud it. *crickets chirp*

Wow, are you so dense you ignore an SMod. As in, Super Moderator? I guess you are that dense, as you ignored what other people told you. Ignored the facts you're breaking the rules. Ignored the facts your fic reek to high heaven with typos, BLAND characters, short chapters that make most other chapters look grande, and have so little description where it's needed, you easily blaze through something that could easily be five times the length you're currently posting.

And since you don't even attempt to develop the characters, or do anything like that, you keep ending up with something that makes a b-rate movie look good. And that, is not a good sign. And with how short these chapters are I am not surprised you'd be at 100 by the FOURTH gym. Hell, I bet the anime episodes are longer than these things you write.

I suggest you stop having your character catch every pokemon he sees, suggest you not have him keep the Larvitar as they are not located in Kanto, and are in Johto only, it seems. And I doubt it would have been brought down so easily as you had the Charmander do to it. Not only are you unrealistic, you are un-imaginative, and futhermore, create things you dub chapters that no one will want to read.

And that are so rule breaking you're probably going to end up with a closed fic because you ignored a warning from a mod. >.> Yes aren't you such a smart person.

 

[firetamer]

And we have people who don't know how to listen, I just asked for 1 basic thing and people don't understand it, plus people are being lazy and basicly telling me to post 5 or 6 chapters at once. Also Renegade it takes a noob to know a noob, just like it takes a homosexual to take to know another homosexual and people are ignoring me, I also gave advise, I will say it again can all comments and questions be though PMs.

 

[Jonouchi]

And we have people who don't know how to listen, I just asked for 1 basic thing and people don't understand it, plus people are being lazy and basicly telling me to post 5 or 6 chapters at once. Also Renegade it takes a noob to know a noob, just like it takes a homosexual to take to know another homosexual and people are ignoring me, I also gave advise, I will say it again can all comments and questions be though PMs.

You're the one ignoring advice! We're trying to help and you continue to ignore us. If you keep this up, this will get closed

 

[Ledian_X]

I've already reported this to Dragonfree. Chances are this thread will be closed because he isn't listening to a word of advice. He is also flaming and we know that's a no-no here at SPP. So, if you would like to avoid being banned, I would suggest you stop flaming Renegade and anyone else on these boards, firetamer.

Also, you are ignoring us. It's becoming blatantly obvious that this is the case. You need to slow the hell down and not make such short chapters. Realistically, it shouldn't be taking you such a short time to get where you are. From my town to the next is 15 minutes by car. Walking would take several hours.

Plus, you're getting Pokemon that are not native to Kanto. Where the hell did that Larvitar come from? Same place as the meditite? Firetamer, for your sake I would listen to people. Don't flame or you'll be sorry you did so. Please check your spelling, too. Chapter 4 was full of mistakes. I have to agree with Renegade. You are being unrealistic.

We don't want to pm you questions because people here like to review in the same thread. Since you aren't listening, it's time to close this thread. Read the rules, don't flame, accept criticism with grace and SLOW THE HELL DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LX

 

[Dragonfree]

Why exactly do you want to get comments through PM? Why not in the thread?

People are not telling you to post five or six chapters at once. They're telling you to lengthen the chapters. We even have a rule against posting multiple chapters at once, as you would know if you had read them, and even then I fail to see how that relates in any way to laziness. Just accept criticism and start a new thread if you're capable of doing so without flaming your reviewers.