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Pokemon Mystery Dungeon--Gemstone (PG 13)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by sweet_piplup123, Oct 4, 2008.

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  1. TurtwigFan1

    TurtwigFan1 burning it down

    I liked the chapter SP, some minor grammar mistakes but they didn't interrupt the flow of the story. Katara and Oliver are the perfect couple, they're both Hoenn starters so maybe that could be a base for their shipping name? <3

    Mister Gabite's story seems very interesting, as does Elisa being affiliated with Liam. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and I'm hoping it won't be as long away ;)
  2. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Hi there! It's been a while since I read a chapter in any of the fics I'm following here. I must say it was a pleasant surprise to see a new one from you. Anyway, I'll get straight to work.

    Oh come on, don't give me that look! They're not all corrections. I'm sure you'll find that several of them are me just making silly comments here and there...

    I know you meant "she was", but when I read it it comes more across as "she is".

    Any of these would work fine instead. "she was", "she had been", "she'd been."


    BTW, the floating candle makes me think of Harry Potter XD.


    does = present tense. did = past tense

    should be: "didn't"

    "was starting" or perhaps "started"



    Interesting dream. I'm curious what that was all about. Where she was and who was calling for help. Pretty ominous too.


    I would've let her beat'em up! lol ^^

    lol. Nice. Don't know why, but I just love it when a Cubone (or Marowak) owns someone! If I knew this was going to happen, then maybe I would have held Jenny back.

    "it was"


    Don't worry Oliver. Pink goes really good with green! (Wicked reference ftw). That and only real men have the guts to wear pink (isn't his belly a little pink anyway? =P)



    "came next was"





    lol I know that feeling.

    Anyway. Loved the chapter. Now Jenny is finally starting to get some answers to the mysteries surrounding her. I'd like to know what is causing Liam to appear in her dreams though. Oh well, I can only guess for now. I did find the chapter a little choppy, though, with all the transitioning between scenes. Perhaps you could try to switch between them a little less often? Something to think about.

    Anyway, like I said, I liked this chapter. And I look forward to the next one. So until then... see ya!
  3. pokemon special

    pokemon special No Angel

    It's the most amuseing one yet. I hope Mr.Gibite tells Nancy.WE NEED TO KNOW!
    (Sorry for the lame and Late reviaw)
  4. Master of All

    Master of All Call me Peter...

    I love it!
    I can just tell something bigs gonna happen.
    Gabites story, i bet he did something bad and had to fight them.
    Signing off
  5. The Big Al

    The Big Al I just keeping Octo

    The plot thickens yet again. Grammar's still shaky but the storytelling is good.
  6. mew_nani

    mew_nani Uh... You lost me.


    ok... sorry for being late.

    The story seems to be getting freakier at this point. I sense a drastic change coming on... Perhaps even a kidnapping! (or not.) but anyway, that was funny when Oliver was getting back at Rosa and Jenny. And for Mister Gabite.... I wonder just what happened... You'll have to tell me that!

    and there. Can you PLEASE put what mister Gabite told Nancy? PLEASE? I wanna know...
  7. sweet_piplup123

    sweet_piplup123 I lost the game?!?!

    *Pops back from her pile of assignments*

    Why hello there, fellow reviewers.

    To Brumrha: Okay, okay I'll calm down... *steps away*
    To TurtwigFan1: Apparently, there is a shipping name for TreeckoxMudkip, but I can't think of the name of it. And don't you worry, the next chapter won't take as long :)
    To FPE: Candle part sounds like Harry Potter? lol... Thanks for the advice, I'll take the paragraphing into consideration ^^
    To pokemon special, mew_nani, The Big Al and Master of All: I'm glad that you found Gabite's story interesting, unfortunately Mister Gabite's story cannot be revealed as it includes big spoilers and plays a vital part in the future chapters. :)

    *wanders back to studying*
  8. kinger810

    kinger810 Member

    Man, I really need to stop being away from this site for months at a time, and start reviewing right after I read the chapter instead of waiting to do it.... Anyways that was a nice chapter. That was a pretty creepy nightmare Rosa found herself in. It was nice to see team CBE get just a little taste of what they deserve! And were starting to find out a little more about the characters. Nice job!
  9. darkguizaum

    darkguizaum Reborn From guizaum

    Hey there... *hides behind bush*
    ;055; Sorry, he's a little shy.
    Umm... I've been reading your fic. It's awesome! I managed to gobble up the whole story in a day! And also FPE's fic in the same day, but that doesn't matter. I'm not going to review, cuz I'm not good at the grammar nazi stuff.*points at Brumrha* I hope to see more chapters soon! Bye! *goes to his secret hideout on the underground below the bush*
    ;055; You didn't see anyyyyyyythiiiiinnng! No, seriously, you didn't. Run along before I hypnotize you! *buys a pocket watch*
  10. sweet_piplup123

    sweet_piplup123 I lost the game?!?!


    It's been ages since chapter 12, and I promised to be quick at chapter 13.

    Anyway, just a little message. Sorry, I know I've been neglecting this thread, for many reasons. Chapter 13 is ready, I've sent it off to check the grammars and still waiting for a reply. Meanwhile, I think I should start correcting chapter 11 and 12, since I've been putting that off for so long...*facepalms self*

    To kinger810: Thank you, and you're not the only one--I've been neglecting this thread longer... -_-;

    To farkguizaum: Haha...XD And yes, you will see more chapters, as soon as I stop being busy with other stuff...~_^
  11. sweet_piplup123

    sweet_piplup123 I lost the game?!?!

    Effing hell... damn it.

    Sorry this is up sooooo late, it was completed about a months ago, but then the issues came in: everyone I know who can be my beta is suddenly busy so I try and correct this to the best of my ability (can't blame them, everyone's busy these days XD), I got banned from Mum's laptop for releasing a stupid virus whilst browsing deviantArt, on top of that there's schoolwork.../end rant



    Chapter 13--Abducted!

    Blast Seed—a dark, reddish seed that explode when it comes in contact with the enemy. If the user eats the seed, he or she could temporarily earn the ability to breathe fire even when they’re not a fire-type Pokémon.
    Poképedia Section 3: Items​

    Early dawn. The sun’s radiance had started painting the horizon with a mixture of warm colours blending over a navy blue sky. It was something for the Smeargle community to just dream about.

    Treasure Town was still asleep at this time of the day, not even the shopkeepers were out and about as they don’t open their shops until a little later. The chilly air still lingered in the atmosphere, but as the sun continues to take dominance, the frost on the grass was beginning to melt into dainty droplets of dew. It was the start of a brand new day.

    On one side of the town, a tired-looking Officer Mawile had finished with her night shift at the jail and she was heading back to her sleeping quarters.

    This is soooo tiring… Officer Mawile thought, stumbling up the steps to the main entrance, her big jaw opened up wide as she yawned with weariness. I think I had just put myself into Officer Charlie’s shoes… don’t think I’ll ever tease him again…

    She fumbled with her keys and was about to unlock the double door when a voice pierced through the silence.

    “Officer! Over here! It’s an emergency!”

    “Oh geez, who’s up so early anyway?” Officer Mawile muttered in annoyance and looked back, but what she saw had snapped her awake. Standing a few metres from her were a trio. A red dragon was lying on the ground, unconscious; his dark turquoise wings had many scratches on them and one appeared to be bent out of shape. The only uninjured part of his body was the tail flame, but it was abnormally small for a Charizard of his size.

    A little green creature then stumbled over to the surprised officer, tripping over twice from the big leaf that grew from the top of her head.

    “Emerald?” worried, Officer Mawile went over and embraced her in a hug, “What on earth happened to you?”

    “It… it was… it was…” Emerald tried to explain, but she had started choking on her tears that was flowing down from her big, red eyes.

    “There, there,” Officer Mawile soothed the distressed Chikorita.

    “Miss, I think it’s a good idea if you go get the others to help,” a second voice interrupted, “The both of them had a pretty rough night.”

    Mawile looked up and came face to face with a blue, bulky alligator with sharp red spikes protruding from along his back. He was brushing leaves off the thick blue scales that covered his muscular arms.

    “Leave the young lady with me and go get help,” said the Feraligatr.

    Officer Mawile nodded before running off to the Sheriff’s Office. A short time later, Sheriff Lucario emerged with a few other officers. Most of them were still at the stage of waking up, some annoyed by their sudden wake-up call.

    “Everyone, settle down for a second!” the sheriff ordered, “I’m sorry for waking up all of you up so early, but we’ve got a case of emergency in our hands.”

    The officers fell silent at once.

    “Now would you all please help Charlie to the clinic?” said Lucario in a commanding voice, “He’s hurt badly.”

    The officers responded with mixed chatter; as they began carrying their injured comrade to the town clinic, a worried-looking Lucario approached the Chikorita.

    “Emerald, what on earth happened?” he asked in a soft voice, “And where is Penny and Katherine?”

    “It… it was scary…” Emerald sniffled, but she said no more.

    Officer Mawile placed a bowl of water in front of Emerald, who took a sip before choking on it.

    “Hey, just chill,” said the Feraligatr from before, he crouched down and tried to calm Emerald down, “It’s going to be alright…”

    “And who might you be?” asked Mawile.

    “I’m Kasey,” the Feraligatr introduced himself, “Retired leader of Team Napier. I found them whilst camping out near the Foggy Forest.”

    Lucario looked around him; many shopkeepers had just woken up and were in their shops minding their own business; some early birds that were already out and about on their morning walk. The front of the police station was no ideal place to talk privately. Sheriff Lucario closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before turning back to the group beside him and said quietly, “The three of you better come to my office now, this is an urgent matter.”

    Unbeknownst to them, a Pelipper had just left after jamming a red and black envelope frantically into the sheriff’s mailbox. The big yellow beaked pelican was experienced, of course, but the reason for his panicking wasn’t him afraid being late.

    It was the name of the sender on the envelope.


    Halfway through breakfast, Rosa asked Oliver several times to pass her a slice of mango, but Oliver was miles away, his eyes on a certain Mudkip, who was seated a few tables away with her own teammates.

    Jenny cleared her throats loudly, but the love-struck Treecko did not seem to notice.

    “Oliver!” Rosa called out in an impatient voice.

    “What?” replied Oliver absent-mindedly, not taking his eyes off Katara.

    “I’ve asked you about four times to pass me a slice of mango and you haven’t replied to me once!” she then launched into a lecture that would’ve made Emily felt proud, “Honestly! You need to be taught better table manners…”

    “Can’t you just get it yourself?” said Oliver.

    Rosa sighed in annoyance; she then gave Jenny a nudge.

    “Leader, what should we do?”

    “Leave it to me.” said Jenny reassuringly.

    What Jenny did next was immature, yet effective: she pecked at her watermelon as fast as she could, which result in weird looks from the confused Piplup sitting beside her. After a few seconds, with her beaks dripping with sweet watermelon juice and her cheeks bulging, Jenny leaned as close as she could to the table and began shooting out the black seeds in her mouth rhythmically.

    “It worked!” Rosa said joyfully, as she watched the Treecko cringe and moved about around the table in order to dodge Jenny’s projectile of watermelon seeds.

    “Hey, HEY! Jenny, STOP IT!” Oliver shouted, ducking under the bench.

    The satisfied Torchic smiled cheekily before spitting out the last seed in her mouth. It landed in Oliver’s bowl unintentionally.

    Oliver, however, was less than pleased.

    “What the hell was that for?” he demanded.

    “Well, Oliver,” Jenny whispered to him mysteriously, “I noticed that you were staring at Katara again.”

    Upon hearing Jenny’s comment, Oliver shot the Torchic an annoyed glare. His cheek was the same colour as the scarf worn around his neck.

    “Do you mind?” he hissed.

    “Hey, I’m just telling the truth…” said Jenny sweetly as she flicked her right wing. Trying to sound as innocent as possible, she continued, “I swear that in the last three days you’ve been spending more time gawking at her…”

    Jenny never got to finish her sentence, as a chunk of half-chewed apple flew across the table and hit her square on the forehead.

    “Watch it!” Jenny’s attitude suddenly took a 360 degree turn, “Who’s ever heard of anyone treating their leaders like this?”

    “Respect should be earned, and not because of the fact that someone has a higher status than me,” said Oliver, crossing his arms in defiance.

    Jenny shook her head vigorously in order to get the piece of apple off her, it did—unfortunately it ended up landing on Rosa’s head. The blue penguin let out a disgruntled moan before flicking it off with her flipper.

    Next time I should just get the mango piece myself, she thought.


    Smeargle had just arrived on the landing of the first floor when he was greeted by Turtwig from Team Eclipse.

    “Sir! Come quick!” he said urgently. “The outlaw notice boards are empty!”

    The artist wasn’t worried, “What’s wrong with that? The police station is probably late delivering us the missions…”

    “But Dugtrio said he normally didn’t have to wait this long for the outlaw poster delivery!”

    Smeargle twirled around with his paintbrush tail a bit, before adding, “How long had it been?”

    “It should’ve arrived an hour ago,” Turtwig explained.

    “Hmm… hey! Team Gemstar!” Smeargle signaled to Jenny as the trio was walking pass him, “Could you three come over for a second?”

    Rosa and Jenny looked at each other.

    “I wonder…”

    “What’s happening?” Oliver inquired.

    Smeargle pointed at the outlaw notices board, “The board’s empty. And apparently the outlaw posters should’ve arrived an hour ago. I was thinking if you could go down to the police station and check if anything is happening.”

    There was no reason to refuse, so they agreed to run the errand.

    “Could I come down with you?” asked Turtwig, “Ponyta is sick today and I was thinking of going into town to buy her some medicine anyway.”

    “I don’t see why not,” said Oliver.

    As they were walking through the town, Rosa asked, “So what happened to Ponyta?”

    “Oh… apparently she had a cold,” said Turtwig, “Yesterday we were exploring Serenity River and poor Ponyta got ambushed by a gang of Poliwag.”

    “Youch,” Jenny commented, “I know how she feels!” The memory of the Poliwag incident in Waterfall Cave resurfaced in her mind.

    “She’s a bit grumpy, though,” added Turtwig, shaking his head, “You should’ve seen the way she ordered poor Ralts around this morning, but then again, she’s like that.”

    Oliver, who was way ahead of them, suddenly came running back, “We weren’t the only one seeking complaints about the missing outlaw notices!” he informed, “There’s this big group of Pokémon outside the police station!”

    "Lead the way, Oliver!” Jenny shouted, before running ahead of him.

    “Oi! I thought you said for me to lead the way!” the Treecko called out as he ran after his leader. Leaving a confused looking Turtwig and a Piplup who wore an ‘oh dearly me’ expression on her face.

    “Do they always act this way?” Turtwig muttered.

    “It’s a daily thing. You get used to it eventually,” said Rosa, giving him a weak smile.

    Meanwhile, Oliver and Jenny had arrived outside the blue and white building that made up the police station. The crowd all gathered on the steps, with officers trying hard to calm the chaos and prevent anyone from entering into the building. It would’ve looked like the crowd was cheering for the bands playing on stage from a distance, except that a police station entrance wasn’t the right location for it and, of course, the civilians were there for an entire different reason.

    “Why are there no outlaw missions today? Can you tell us?”

    “Can we see the sheriff about this?”

    “Sorry sir! The sheriff is away today… please get back down the steps!”

    “Why is the sheriff away?”

    “Is that Lucario deliberately avoiding us?”

    “This situation looks pretty bad… Oliver?” Jenny turned back, but only to find him missing from her side. Frantically, she looked around, but no matter how many times she had scanned carefully at the crowd, she could not see any Treecko with a Pecha Scarf. After about a minute of searching, a frustrated Jenny headed to one side of the building.

    Oh great, where did he go?

    “Psst, Jenny, over here!” the voice was coming from above.

    “Where on earth have you… hey!” Jenny was thinking of giving him a huge criticism, but that was before she looked up, and saw the agile Treecko hanging above with one arm from a window on the second floor, “How the hell did you get up there?”

    “Keep your voice down!” Oliver shushed her before explaining to her about his plan, “I climbed up here, and I’ll be back soon, so keep watch!” he then swung himself up with expertise and disappeared into the window.

    “You—” Jenny was not only annoyed by the fact that Oliver ran off without her consent, but that he could climb walls whilst she couldn’t even fly!

    Urrrh! Boys are so damn annoying… she thought, stamping her talon in exasperation.

    “Jenny! There you are!” a voice shouted from behind her. Rosa and Turtwig had caught up with them.

    “Where did Treecko go?” Turtwig asked, looking around him.

    “If you mean Oliver,” said Jenny grimly, “He was doing some rock-climbing before you came.”

    Rosa looked up at the building, surprised, “You… you don’t mean…!”

    “Well he’s clever alright…” the leaf turtle beside her was finding this whole thing rather amusing.

    “Got it!” a voice trailed from above them. The trio watched, from ground level, a triumphant Oliver climbing out of a window, before sticking one of his suction cap-like hands onto the walls. Clamping a piece of paper in his mouth, he started descending smoothly.

    “Some phantom thief he is,” Turtwig commented.

    “Well, he did steal Mister Gabite’s scale.”

    “Everybody over here!” Rosa hissed, motioning to them as she headed towards a big clump of vegetation growing alongside the back of the police station. Moments later, when Jenny double–checked that no one could see them, she turned back to her three companions.

    “Turtwig…” Jenny was about to start.

    “Your secrets are safe with me,” said Turtwig quickly, tapping his underbelly, “I promise you I won’t tell anyone.”

    Oliver gave him a look of suspicion and raised his voice, “Oh yeah? And why should we believe you?”

    “I mean it,” Turtwig protested, “But if you want me to leave then I’ll—”

    “Quit jabbering, of course you can stay,” said Jenny impatiently.

    Oliver was about to protest further, but Rosa interrupted him, “Just show us the paper, alright?”

    A reluctant Oliver threw down the slightly scrunched up piece of paper and said in an unkind voice, “I’ve already seen the letter, have fun reading.”

    Gee, no need for that kind of attitude… Rosa thought as she unfolded the letter.

    To the sheriff:

    So… do you like a taste of our medicine?

    Well, I’ll just make it clear to you here—your daughter and her little friend are in our hands at the moment. But I’m sure that Charizard officer should’ve told you by now.

    Now, I know you’re a wise guy, and I also know that wise guys make mistakes, such as holding a few of our members in that little prison of yours.

    This brings us to the negotiation part: release them, and you can have the two girls back. I’m not asking much, or am I? Or do you rather see your daughter and her little friend die?

    You have until midnight tonight. Bring us your hostage to Amp Plain and we’ll return ours.

    Signed: The Mafia Angels

    Rosa dropped the letter in shock.

    “The… The Mafia Angels?!” Turtwig exclaimed, a hint of fear in his voice.

    Jenny and Oliver looked at each other in confusion, unsure what Rosa and Turtwig was on about.

    “Umm… I don’t mean to sound stupid, but who are The Mafia Angels?” Oliver piped up.

    “You’ve never heard of them before, EVER?” said Turtwig incredulously.

    “Of course not!” Oliver protested, “I’m not from around this area…”

    “Rosa, Turtwig, who are they?” Jenny asked firmly, “I don’t see why you guys are so surprised since they only sounded like a gang of outlaws.”

    “Only sounded like a gang of outlaws? ONLY?” Turtwig started shouting at Jenny in a horrified manner, “They’re the most notorious gang around here! They earn their living through ransoms and their idea of fun is killing the innocent! No one has been able to hunt them down for about a decade or so!”

    “Okay okay I get it!” said Jenny, “No need to shout.”

    “Calm down, Turtwig!” said Oliver reassuringly, “I’m sure a smart sheriff like Lucario himself should be able to rescue his daughter. Isn’t that right, Rosa?” he turned to her for support.

    Rosa was staring at the letter on the ground with great dislike.

    “Something wrong?” asked Jenny.

    Rosa raised her head in surprise, “Oh, yeah, that’s right!” she said half-heartedly, “I’m sure the sheriff will sort this out!”

    Before Oliver could get his word out, Jenny butted in, “See?” she said, “There must’ve been a good reason to why Lucario was voted for the town sheriff.”

    “And I’m looking for a good reason as to how the four of you got a piece of confidential document!”

    The reaction was instantaneous; Jenny jumped at the new voice, Rosa continued to stare at the ground; Oliver and Turtwig veered around, but only to be greeted by an annoyed Officer Mawile.

    “What on EARTH were you thinking of, stealing a piece of document from the police station?” she scolded.

    Jenny answered with innocence, “We just wanted to know about what happened to the outlaw posters. Smeargle from the guild sent us down.”

    “Well, a few moments after the first letter arrived, another note was sent by the Mafia Angels to cease outlaw capturing at once until the negotiation between them is completed,” said Officer Mawile sadly, “So hand me the letter and off you go now. Please tell no one else about this,” she pleaded, “The sheriff didn’t want to cause any panicking.”

    “Those evil ba******s!” Rosa blurted out. Everyone turned to her in surprise. Jenny, who stood closest to her, was surprised to find Rosa breathing unevenly and looking aggravated.

    “What is it with you?” she asked. Jenny rarely hears Rosa swear because of the good manners she had adapted from her grandma, Emily.

    Realising that the damage had been done, Rosa turned away and muttered quickly, “Nothing… sorry.”

    “Well… we should get going, then,” said Turtwig, breaking the tension, “I better go and buy Ponyta her medicine.”

    “Good point,” replied Oliver, scratching his head.

    “Yeah… I’ll go get a rescue mission,” muttered Rosa.

    Jenny was surprised by her remark, “Wait, I thought getting missions is my job!”

    “What’s wrong with a bit of a change?”

    “Nothing,” Jenny seemed taken aback from Rosa’s words, “It’s just the reason that neither you nor Oliver ever asked me to swap…”

    “I just felt like it today, and…”

    “Alright, fine! Your wish is granted,” Jenny was getting impatient, wanting to get away before Officer Mawile start telling them off for loitering, “Come on Oliver, let’s go get the supplies, see you in ten minutes.”


    “Jenny! Don’t you think Rosa acted strange just then?”

    “Oliver, she was just asking me…”

    “I don’t mean that, idiot!” Oliver groaned in frustration before continuing, “I mean when she—”

    “—saw the blackmail,” Jenny interrupted, “I’m not an idiot, but I can’t mind-read. Rosa probably hate them like everybody else around here, after all, like what Turtwig said, they’re infamous around this area.”

    Crossing his arms, Oliver rebutted back, “But as much as anyone hates them, you don’t see Turtwig cussing at them, do you?”

    “Turtwig feared them, not hate—”

    “Isn’t that the same thing?”

    “Look! Could we just stop talking about this for a second?” an irritated Jenny began shouting at Oliver, “And anyway, Rosa’s coming now, so if you have any questions, ask her instead!”

    Sure enough, Rosa was heading towards them with a yellow envelope.

    “So where are we going today?” Oliver asked.

    Rosa tossed the envelope to him, “It’s the only mission left on the board,” she explained, “I didn’t have any other choice.”

    It stuck Oliver odd about the need to tell him about it, but as soon as he saw the location, he began to understand Rosa’s intention.

    “What’s wrong, Oliver?” questioned Jenny, “And what’s with that look?”

    “I was right!” Oliver shrieked victoriously, pointing at the piece of paper, “I told you she was up to something!”

    “What the hell are you on about?” said a confused Jenny.

    Oliver shoved the paper in front of her, “Read it!” he ordered, “Is it really a coincidence that the place we’re going to, happens to be Amp Plain?”

    “What?!” Jenny exclaimed, grabbing the paper with her talon, “Let me see that!”

    At this point, Rosa began fidgeting, which gave Oliver a great opportunity to interrogate her.

    “Rosa! Would you care to give us an explanation of why you’re doing this!”

    The little Piplup defended, “I’ve told you! It was the only mission left—”

    Oliver simply pressed on, “Oh sure! I bet you wanted to go after the Mafia Angels, that’s what you wanted? Isn’t it?!”

    That saw Rosa flinching a little, but she continued on with her rebuttal, “That’s… that’s a serious accusation you’ve got there! Wh-why would I go after them anyway?”

    “If you’re not going after them,” said Oliver accusingly, “Then why did you stutter?”

    “I was—”

    “ENOUGH!” Jenny yelled, silencing her teammate’s voices; the piece of paper floated down from the air and made a landing on the treasure bag. In her leader-like voice, she began lecturing, “I really hate watching my friends arguing, and I expected better from the both of you instead of bickering mindlessly!” disgusted by the two’s behavior, she continued on, “Here’s a better idea, I’ll go check the rescue board now, and I expect the both of you to BEHAVE yourselves.”

    After giving the pair grim looks, Jenny rushed off. As they waited, Oliver continues to look at Rosa, hoping to somehow extract information out of her by staring. Rosa responded by looking away, tapping her right foot as she hummed out a tune with innocence.

    Minutes later, Jenny returned with news and, much to Oliver’s disappointment, she reported that the rescue mission board was as clean as a bowl after dinner.

    “Now let’s go,” said Jenny hurriedly, “All the other teams left ages ago.”

    I know you’re up to something, and I’m going to find out no matter what! Clutching his right knuckle, Oliver watched as a relieved-looking Rosa walking up to an Abra.


    Meanwhile, Officer Mawile and her other colleagues had managed to calm down of the angry mob in front of the police station. She then left the officers and headed for the town clinic.

    Kasey the Feraligatr was with the little Chikorita, who still appeared to be a little shaken up, but otherwise looking better than before. Officer Charlie had awoken from his unconsciousness; one of his wings had several bamboo sticks tied to it with bandages wrapped around them.

    “Hey, come on, Emerald,” said Officer Charlie pleadingly, trying to cheer up Emerald, “Look, I’m alright now… if you don’t smile in the next few seconds then I’m afraid you’d have to hear one of my lame jokes.”

    At this moment, Officer Mawile walked into the room.

    “Hello, Mary,” the Charizard greeted her, “Geez, you look tired.”

    “Yeah Charlie…” said Mawile, she yawned loudly, accidentally knocking over a glass of water on the table as she does so, “I was on an all-night shift down at the jail! How are you?”

    “Better than before, I guess. My wing felt sore with these bandages! Stupid electric attacks…”

    He moved his uninjured wing slightly; it generated a slight breeze into the room and made the curtains flutter.

    “How did you ended up like that, anyway?” asked Mawile.

    “Well, let’s see,” said Officer Charlie, “We got ambushed somehow. I tried to fly away with the three girls on my back, but I got struck down in mid-air. Last thing I remember was falling towards a thick canopy.”

    “I heard the crash and went investigating,” explained Kasey, he then added jokingly, “Both of you looked so tangled up with all those vines and leaves, I thought someone had just dropped a large bowl of salad from the sky.”

    Emerald managed a stifled giggle at his statement.

    “So I’ve heard, Mary,” said Officer Charlie, “Lucario’s going to rescue her daughter?”

    “Sssh!” hissed Mawile, as she looked around her frantically to see if any medical staffs were nearby, “It’s supposed to be secret!”

    “I see…”

    Mawile closed the door before continuing, “Swift went too—he’s worried about Katherine.”

    Hearing those words, Emerald piped up, “The sheriff and Katherine’s Dad had gone to rescue them?”

    “That’s right,” said Mawile, sitting down next to her, “They’re both good fighters so I’m sure they can rescue them.”

    “Are you sure?” asked Emerald, staring into the adults’ eyes.

    Officer Charlie butted in, “Both of them are good fighters! Unlike me, I’m so useless that I can’t even take electric attacks…”

    “Now don’t go blaming yourself like that,” interrupted Mawile, crossing her arms, “You’re a part flying type, it’s perfectly normal that you were vulnerable to it. What’s more, you managed to bring Emerald back in one piece! If I were you I would’ve probably lost all three girls!”

    “Yeah, Emerald held on tight with her Vine Whip,” praised Officer Charlie, “She’s getting better at using that attack.”

    Emerald was looking pleased for a moment, but then she screwed up her face again.

    “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Kasey asked kindly.

    Looking down on the ground, Emerald whispered, “I’m still worried about Penny and Katherine’s Dad… what if they ended up like those two officers six years ago?”

    Now Mawile and Feraligatr were looking perplexed—both of them weren’t around at the time.

    “What do you mean?” said Mawile in curiosity, before turning to Officer Charlie for answers, “Do you know what she was talking about?”

    The Charizard was suddenly looking gloomy; distant voices began ringing inside his head. The chatter, the shocked gasps, and, the unforgettable scream from the child, it was as if the incident only happened yesterday.

    “Charlie?” Officer Mawile’s words brought him back to earth, “Hello? What’s up?”

    Shaking off his thoughts, Officer Charlie sighed as he started explaining, “It was…it was a terrible incident, Mary,” he said, his mouth twitching a little, “In fact... on that day, I lost two of my best mates forever.”

    The atmosphere in the room became sombre all of a sudden. In the end, Kasey broke the silence; he gave Officer Charlie a pat on the leg and spoke in a heavy voice, “I’m sorry.”

    “I never knew…” said Mawile sympathetically, “What happened?”

    She earned a glare from the Feraligatr, “It’s a bit tactless of you to ask, you know,” said Kasey, “Don’t think he need to be reminded of the details.”

    Mawile was red in the face with embarrassment as she muttered an apology.

    “No, no, it’s alright,” said Officer Charlie quickly, “Though it still hurts, I’ve moved on from it. You both deserved a story for your troubles.”

    And before he could stop himself, the story came out of his mouth like a stream flowing down from a snow-capped mountain.

    “Six years ago, I was a new officer in training…”


    “Ow! Jenny, can you quit zapping me already!”


    Oliver rubbed his arm, “This is the fourth time you’ve done it!” he complained.

    “Well, sorry for the fourth time then!” said Jenny, irritated.


    “Rosa! Are you okay?”

    “I would if Oliver stops zapping me!”

    “I don’t have furs like her, genius! It’s this tall grass that’s causing the problems!”

    “Okay guys, can we stop with this whinging now? Ow.”

    Amp Plain looked even wilder than Mt Bristle. In the beginning, the dry grass was only an inch off the ground, tickling their feet as they walked upon. But as they ventured on, the grass was taller and prickly, and there was no other way but to walk through them. As the tall grass brushed against them, it caused a few static problems between the three.

    A few minutes later, Jenny surveyed around her and said, “Strange place, isn’t it?”

    “Oh, you just realized,” said Oliver in irony, “Like we didn’t notice this stupid tall grass that we had to walk through.”

    “Oliver,” Jenny threatened, “Quit being a cheek or else get burned. I was talking about the sky.”

    Oliver looked up, as Jenny continued on with her commentary, “The sky looked like it’s full of storm clouds, yet it only creates lightning. You’d think it’s going to rain on this place anytime soon but it isn’t!”

    As soon as she finished talking, a streak of light cut across the sky as if a master chef had weaved his knife through a mass of grey matter. The lightning may had looked spectacular far away, but seconds later, the loud thunders that followed caused the trio to drop to the ground in fear.

    When the frightening noises finally echoed into the distance, Oliver was the first to get up.

    “That… that was scary…” he whimpered.

    “Tell me about it, I almost had a heart attack!” exclaimed Jenny, trying to balance herself from the shock, “Where’s Rosa?”

    “What do you mean, where’s Rosa? Isn't she right beside you?”

    “Wha—oh right,” looking down, she saw that Rosa was indeed next to her. However, Rosa’s reaction to the thunder worried Jenny; she was curling up in fright, muttering something that sounded alien to both Jenny and Oliver.

    “Hey, you okay there?” Oliver asked in a soft voice.

    Slience. Then, slowly, Rosa raised her head. Her expression puzzled Jenny: she was looking frightened alright, but there seemed to be a different vibe to it. Anger, perhaps? Or was she mistaken?

    “Come on,” Oliver extended his hands, “It’s alright, the lightning has passed…” but before he could help her up, he got a shocking reply—Rosa slapped his hand away indignantly.

    “What was that for?” he demanded.

    "Rosa!” Jenny was clearly dumbfounded, “Oliver was trying to help you!”

    “Sorry,” she replied, in a harsh voice unlike her own, “But I’m not that weak.”


    “Let’s continue. We’re getting closer,” she turned and began walking again, acting as if nothing had just happened.

    “Oliver?” Jenny whispered.

    “Yeah? What?”

    “I don’t like to say this, since friends shouldn’t doubt each other, but… Rosa’s totally not herself at all, from the way she acted just then.”

    The Treecko rolled his eyes, “Took you long enough,” he said.

    “Any more smart-arse comments and I’ll set you on fire,” Jenny grumbled.

    “So what should we do?” asked Oliver.

    There was only one solution Jenny could come up with, “Keep a close watch her until we finish this damn mission,” she said, “What else?”

    And so, the trio remained silent for some time, only leaping into action when enemies surprise them. Jenny was particularly frustrated with two certain Pokémon called Minun and Plusle, as they always spring out at them in pairs.

    The teamwork of those rats were unnerving as they delivers strong attacks together. Whenever Jenny tried to get back at them, they start circling around her in fast motion, so that she could only identify them from the red or blue parts on their body; then both the Minun and Plusle smash into Jenny with electric sparks in their hands, paralysing her half of the time.

    “Is there any way we could deal with those little devils?” Jenny pouted after recovering from paralysis for the fourth time.

    “Break them up, maybe?” suggested Rosa.

    “Easier said than done,” said Oliver, as he glared at the Minun and Plusle who had scrambled off after pulling clown faces at them, “I tried that but it’s practically impossible.”

    “Yeah well,” Jenny added, “I think I just understand the phrase ‘opposite attract’ a whole lot better now! Oh bugger it,” she blurted out with frustration after seeing a Minun wandering around not far off from them, “Looks like we had to deal with another one!”

    Sure enough, a little cream-coloured rat with blue markings was walking around. But Oliver was curious because it was the first Minun he had seen without a Plusle partner.

    “Rosa, what was our mission again?”

    “Hang on...” she rummaged around the treasure bag for a moment, before pulling out the wrinkled piece of paper that had sent them to this godforsaken dungeon in the first place, “Our mission was to look for a Minun wearing a glittering blue scarf.”

    “If I’m not wrong here,” said Oliver, pointing at the Minun, “I think we’ve found our missing Pokémon. That’s the first Minun I saw who’s not with his Plusle partner.”

    “Really?” asked Jenny eagerly, she couldn’t wait to get out of this place.

    “Yeah, there’s no mistaking that glittery scarf.”

    “Oi! You over there!” Jenny began shouting, “We’ve come—”

    “You idiot!” Rosa hissed, shoving the piece of paper onto her face, “We don’t want to attract too much attention!”

    The Torchic blew the paper away and mumbled an apology.

    Luckily for them, the Minun had heard Jenny’s yell and headed straight towards them. The trio moved quickly as well, and for a moment, they had forgotten about the grass surrounding them.

    “Thank goodness someone had come for me!” the rat was smiling with relief, making the minus sign on his cheeks forming into curves, “I thought I was forgotten… I’ve been stuck here for about a week!”

    Jenny was impressed by his survival skills, “Really? It’s only been few hours and I felt like I’ve been for a lifetime!”

    “How did you survive out here?” Rosa inquired, “What about the wild Pokémon?”

    “It wasn’t a problem, really,” said Minun, “Most of them mistook me as a local. I took refuge in a cave not far from here.”

    “Hmm…” Rosa began pondering over this.

    “All is good, then,” said Oliver as he held out his badge, “Now, stay still and I’ll send out back to the guild.” With a click of the button, Minun was surrounded by a beam of red light before disappearing into the thin air.

    “Right! I guess we should head back too,” said Jenny joyfully as she picked off some grass off her furs, “Now that all this hell had boiled over!”

    “No, not yet.”

    “I—sorry?” said Oliver, stopping halfway through stretching his arms, “Did you said something, Rosa?”

    “I said, we can’t go, not just yet,” Rosa’s voice sounded ominous. She stood not far from her team, but she was avoiding Oliver and Jenny’s looks.

    Jenny was puzzled, “But this place is dangerous—”

    “NO!” with a rebellious yell, Rosa wheeled around and hurled something at Jenny; whatever it was, it released a bright pink smoke upon contact. In a panic, Jenny accidentally breathed in some of it. The next she knew, the world was whirling all around her as if someone had dropped her in a spinning kaleidoscope. First it was symmetrical patterns she sees, then the colours began revolving like fruit pieces in a blender.

    “Stop!” she yelled desperately, having being sick and tired of this madness. That was when she felt someone had smashed glass on top of her head, darkness took over swiftly afterwards.


    “Oh my goodness,” said Officer Mawile in awe as she finished listening to the story, “It must’ve been hard for everyone to carry the two dead bodies…”

    “The sheriff stopped sending officers to apprehend the Mafia Angels after that,” Officer Charlie continued, “You see, the death of the two officers—Holly and Michael—had a large impact not only on the police force, but also on their family.”

    “Their family?” Kasey asked, his eyes full of curiosity.

    “Holly and Michael had a child, she was the one who was hurt the most by the pair’s death,” he said gravely, remembering the child on the sideline, crying out for her Mummy and Daddy who would never be able to answer her call, ever again.

    “Poor kid,” said Kasey, “And what a rotten gang, killing her parents so heartlessly.”

    “I don’t quite remember the girl’s name,” said Emerald, twirling around with her vines absent-mindedly, “But I think it had something to do with roses…”

    “What do you mean, her name had something to do with roses?” questioned Kasey.

    “The child’s name is Rosa,” said Officer Charlie.

    Officer Mawile was drinking a cup of water, but as soon as she heard that, the water came spraying back out of her mouth.

    “Mary! Watch it!”

    “So… sorry Charlie!” spluttered Mawile, “It’s… it’s just that...” she gave a few coughs before continuing, “Is it that Piplup who wears a red and blue gemstone around her neck?”

    “The very same one, though I don’t know why—”

    Emerald suddenly interrupted, “Is anything wrong?”

    Mawile was panicking, “Charlie,” she said, “Does Rosa ever show any signs of vengeance against the Mafia Gang?”

    “Why are you asking me this?” asked the confused Charizard, “Mary, I don’t understand—”

    “Team Gemstar saw the blackmail letter,” she stated, and then she launched into an account about Rosa’s odd behavior after the team had read the letter.

    “She called them that?” said a surprised Officer Charlie, “If my memories serves me right, she’s not the type who would say rude words.”

    “Yes, and what if… what if she had decided to go after them?”

    “But she’s with her team,” the Feraligatr spoke, “Surely they would stop her from going, unless she have a way to convince them somehow.”

    “Like going on a mission in Amp Plain?” said Emerald unintentionally.

    Mawile stood up from her seat, “That’s it!” she blurted, “We only need to find out if the team had gone off to Amp Plain for a mission, then we could find out if Rosa’s putting the whole team in danger or not! Well done, Emerald!”

    “Umm… you’re welcome?” said a bewildered Emerald.

    Mawile was about to leave when Kasey shouted for her to stop.

    “Lady, don’t just go running off yet!” he demanded, blocking the doorway, “Didn’t you just have an all-night shift at the jail or something? Why don’t you rest and get someone else to do it?”

    “He does have a point, Mary,” said Officer Charlie, “And Emerald could do with some female company right now!”

    “But I’m an officer! It’s my duty to ensure the safety of—hey!” Mawile squealed in fright as Kasey began carrying her to a nearby sofa, “Put me down! You don’t treat an officer like that!”

    “Miss, leave the works for me,” said Kasey in a charming voice as he put the struggling officer onto a red sofa, “Now you sleep here like a good girl now or else I would have to start singing you some lullaby.”

    “Humph,” Officer Mawile grumbled, but followed his instructions all the same. All this time, Officer Charlie laughed in the background as he watched his fellow officer being tucked into bed like a little girl.

    After putting a blanket over Mawile, Kasey instructed Emerald, “Now, just to make sure Miss Mawile doesn’t suddenly wake up while I’m away… would you look after her?”

    “Not that I had anything else to do right now, sir,” said Emerald, “My parents are away on holidays so I’m supposed to stay with Officer Charlie anyway.”

    “That’s settled then,” said Kasey, “I’ll be off now.”


    Rosa placed the treasure bag and a letter on the ground, beside her two sleeping teammates. She could not bring herself to look directly at them, knowing that she had committed a sin—the sin of betraying her teammates’ trust.

    Jenny, who had been foolishly enough to protect her from Oliver’s accusations, would wake up later, and find Rosa, the one she trusted the most, missing from her side.

    Rosa could only hope Jenny could understand her actions after reading the letter.

    She also remembered how Oliver had put up such fight as he saw Jenny fell to the ground lifelessly. How he had almost burst her eardrums by crying out, “I KNEW IT!” before charging towards her, his tails glowing white for a Pound attack.

    He had advantage when it comes to fighting Rosa, of course, being a grass type. But Oliver was no match when the Piplup somehow managed to hit him with two successful Peck attacks in a row, then drugging him with a second Sleep Seed.

    She hoped that Oliver would understand, too. One will do anything for their family, even if it comes with outrageous consequences. He should know that from saving Nancy’s life.

    After sorting out the items she needed, Rosa put her own bag around her neck, took one last look at her teammates, and hurried away before she has any regrets.


    (Cliffhanger... hope I don't take long to write chap 14. And yeah, Officer Mawile's name is Mary, but only Officer Charlie calls her that.)
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2010
  12. FocusPresenceEndurance

    FocusPresenceEndurance Aspiring Author

    Bout time too! Geez! >=(

    lol, just kidding.

    Anyway, great chapter once again! More comments on it bellow.

    Jenny used bullet seed!

    It's not very effective...

    lol XD

    I thought Lucario was a guy... o_O

    I like your idea for Amp Plains very much! =)

    I have an idea! "Ow ow my stomach!"


    Some backstory for Rosa I see. I approve! ;D

    Not sure it is considered a sin. But it's bad nonetheless.

    I was surprised by Rosa's actions in this chapter. But I suddenly understood what was going on when Charlie mentioned her name. Still, rushing off by herself like that. She's only asking for trouble.

    I'm not sure if this was your intent, but Jenny seemed to come off as slightly arrogant at the beginning of the chapter being on her high horse as team leader. Thought I'd point it out just in case.

    Ooooh now you have me curious with that darn cliffhanger! What's going to happen next? Can't wait to find out! =D
  13. Illusione-Tempus

    Illusione-Tempus Well-Known Member

    No Rosa! Don't revenge for your parents! It won't bring them back! D=

    I like how you put Emerald in the story. Wondering what their team's name might be... *is curious*
  14. sweet_piplup123

    sweet_piplup123 I lost the game?!?!

    ...and I thought without the PMs people wouldn't notice this, but in the end you two did. XD

    To FPE:
    Hey, don't give me that attitude, Sanngot. *cough* 8D

    ...dang. Lucaio is a guy... I think I did a little accidental gender-bend. >_<

    Even better, go out with Katara. *shot*

    Well, yeah, I started working on chapter 14 a week ago. I'm thinking of revealing more about Rosa's backstory. I think by bringing out someone's story is a good way of navigating through the plot itself. :)

    ...well, it worked better than the filler chapters I've initially planned, anyway.

    To Mystic: Yep, oh noes...

    I've already thought out a name. Though... they're just friends, they are not a team yet.

    (think I'll correct them later... had to go now)
  15. legandlover989

    legandlover989 Its now or never

    Great chapter

    Make the next one soon
  16. Kindrindra

    Kindrindra 大事なのは自分らしいくある事


    Oh good lord... Rosa... Poor thing... By the way, nice way you wrote the sleep seed, even if it made me think it was a X-eye seed at first.

    Rosa, you little idiot! What part of electric-destroys-water do you not understand?! These guys can take out a Charizard, and you think a little piplup will do otherwise?! With your partners you could of stood a chance... but, oh no, you had to fall victim to the powers of revenge...

    My best guess for the next chapter? Jenny and Oliver struggle awake, decide to chase after Rosa, and find her either about to make the biggest mistake of her life, getting pawned, or already KOed.

    Can't wait for the next chapter, and hope your computer issues are resolved!
  17. Master of All

    Master of All Call me Peter...

    Major cliffhanger-me like a lot
    Poor rosa it must have been terrible having to grow up with that but you have also got to think about her grandmother-she might of been able to stop them, it would have been extremely hard to live with the guilt.
    As i am not one for picking up spelling mistakes i must say this is a good chapter and i hope to see another soon.
    Keep up the good work.
  18. sweet_piplup123

    sweet_piplup123 I lost the game?!?!

    To legendlover989: Thanks. :)

    To Kindrindra:
    Well, I was initially thinking of going pink smokes, but then it failed dramatically so I had to think of my own.

    First... since when did you become Phoenix Wright? 0_0 Jkjk...

    Anyway... don't forget--Lucario and one of his officer are there so that's why she seemed confident about the whole thing... ^_^

    To Master of All: Oh, you're back! *I think...* Thanks, I try to eliminate my mistakes. ^^

    Hmm... seems like the cliffhangers got everybody thinking. Though I'm pretty sure I'm more unpredictable than the guesses.
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2010
  19. Master of All

    Master of All Call me Peter...

    Yeah i'm back, well a little.
    You see i'm kind of band from this site-Mum+Dad are just a little over-protective.
    In fact this and a few other fics are the only thing keeping me tied to this site.
    I agree with Kindrina-don't go out for revenge without considering others rosa. If you die(which is seriuosly likely as you are water and they are electric and they can take down a full grown charizard) your grandmother will be all alone, your team will be disbanded and you will probably go down as the biggest fool in the world. Remember revenge is the path to the darkside young rosa.
    Well I hope you can write the new chapter soon :)
    As always stay cool
    Signing Off, Master of All(who is the Master of All- I can't believe that name wasn't already taken when I got, I think it's a pretty sweet name)
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2010
  20. Illusione-Tempus

    Illusione-Tempus Well-Known Member

    First comment yay!

    First of all, you've finally finished chapter 14... but you could take your time to update the chapter list at the first post.

    Secondly... Oh no, what's going to happen to Penny? And where might Rosa be right now? I like it that you put Leo in that story, adds a little drama... But man, Oliver's dream is really spooky...

    BTW what's going to happen to Gardevoir?
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