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Pokemon Mystery Dungeon--Gemstone (PG 13)

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Jayhennessy

Irish Trainer
Wow! I read this story from start to finish without stopping once! Bravo Miss! This story is very creative and funny!
Though I'm not a grammar nazi, all I can say is watch your tenses and spelling. Then this story will rock hard!
 

sweet_piplup123

I lost the game?!?!
To Torpoleon:Was that Bro1 or Bro2? Thought I might ask...
To Jayhennessy: Thanks! I will definately pay more attention to those spelling/grammar mistakes.
Time for spoilers again.

“Jenny, this is B-ranked,” Rosa scanned at the information in it and she added, “We’re not ready for that yet.”

“Sorry,” Jenny apologised as she took a silver envelope down and handed to Rosa, “How’s thi..”

Before Jenny could finish her sentence, someone shoved her from the back, she nearly fell over.

“Oops,” said Skitty, not meaning it. Pikachu and Aipom were both grinning.

Rosa glared at Skitty as she pulled Jenny away from Team CBE, “Jerks,” she muttered angrily, “Well let’s have a look.”
 

Viva La Revolution

frogguh PAWNCH!
*groans at Team Eclipse* Oh dear Arceus. xD Please don't tell me they were based off of Avatar...

This is working pretty well. You put enough twists on the cookie-cutter PMD plot to make it interesting, and you're very good with similes. I will never forget the 'drunken artist' part.

'Courage, Bravery, and Energetic' should be 'Courage, Bravery, and Energy'. 'Energetic' is a adjective, and doesn't fit with the nouns Courage and Bravery.

You're handling this in a fun way. It seems to me you are fond of using British ad Australian terms, so maybe make Rosa have an accent of some sort?

You seem to be fond of using stringy sentences. I'll let my 6th grade LA teacher do the explanation:

A stringy sentence is a sentence that seems to go on and on forever. Imagine your younger cousin or a hyper little boy going on like this: "Joe raced against his rival Fred, and then Joe tripped Fred, and ran on to win the race, while Fred glared at him, and Joe pulled a raspberry on Fred, and-" Like that. Very boring, yes?
 

The Big Al

I just keeping Octo
She is Australian.

Actually, I say keep their cover name as is. You could even more fun of it because it really makes it look like they pulled them name out of their evilly cute butts.

And what's wrong with gags? I put gags in my stories.
 

Viva La Revolution

frogguh PAWNCH!
Really?

I just saw it as laziness on Piplup's part, but eh.

Nothing's wrong with gags - I just don't like Avatar all that much and groan whenever someone makes a reference to them in a non-Avatar story.
 

sweet_piplup123

I lost the game?!?!
Since when did this thread turn into a chat section 0_0 (Just kidding)

To Viva La Revolution: Stupid sentences >_< I did try to make them as interesting as possible...as for the CBE part, I made the meanings up on purpose. As for the Avatar part, I am sorry if you don't like it, but they remain in my story, so you might need to get use to it.
To The Big Al: Heh...I am actually Chinese...but I guess I can call myself Australian since I already got my citizenship certificate :D
 

Viva La Revolution

frogguh PAWNCH!
Nothing wrong, and I can get used to it. I'm just prone to groan animatedly when someone does that. xD I couldn't register the 'made meanings up on purpose' part as general thoughtless CBE stupidity, though, and I don't think I'm the only one. xD
 

The Big Al

I just keeping Octo
I had noticed you made a reference to Australian time so I thought you were from Australia.
 

sweet_piplup123

I lost the game?!?!
To Viva La Revlution: Thanks...I'll try my best to fix up those 'stringy sentences'.
To The Big Al: I live in Australia now :D
To everyone: Like my banner?Sorry about the blank because I don't wanna spoil it to anyone.
EDIT: The banner's gone because someone told me it was breaking the rules so I removed it...sorry guys I'll make a new banner soon, I promise.
 
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Torpoleon

Well-Known Member
That was bro 1 and here I am too! The spoiler seems really interesting.
 

FocusPresenceEndurance

Aspiring Author
Ok! So I'm finally here. Sorry for making you wait so long. I partly blame school for it, but lets not think about the past shall we? Lets just think about here and now.

Well first off, I couldn't help but notice a huge improvement in your latter chapters compared to your first few chapters. Its good to see that you're getting the hang of this rather quickly. However, its not perfect yet, and I guess that's why people like me are here ^^. To help you get better!

So sometimes in my review, my comments may come across as cold, but in no way in any of my comments do I mean to offend or belittle you. Having said that, on with the review!

“Wake up! sleepy head!” shouted a voice.

Hopefully this is visible... I have highlighted quotation mark that doesn't belong there.

Jenny carried the Poképedia with her because she had only started reading it and she reckon it’ll be useful later on. They walked into the town.

Should be something more along the lines of, "and she reckoned it would be useful later on."

Now's a better time than ever to mention something else too. You seem to change tenses in your paragraphs on a number of occasions. When it comes to past and present tense, you can't switch them in mid paragraph.

For example: "The ball rolled across the floor, bouncing now and then as it hit bumps on the ground. The ball hits the wall on the other side of the room, which causes it to pop loudly."

Keep your eye open for things like this. It will also be easier to read this way.

Treasure Town was buzzing with activity. There are exploration teams in town buying supplies and gathering news from other teams, citizens came to meet up with their friends and shopkeepers doing their daily jobs. It was yet another sunny day as the tree leaves blew in the wind, Pidgeys and Taillows flew in the blue sky.

This was just another example of the above comment.

Meanwhile Rosa admired at her Defence Scarf.

Should be Defense

As Bibi, Jenny and Rosa walked out, Jenny whispered, Rosa…”

Yeah yeah, call me picky, but I just tend to notice these things. You must have accidentally put a space after this quotation mark instead of before.

As Jenny done the job for furniture and Rosa finished dusting the room, they started painting the room.

You can do one of two things here.

Change the word entirely. Perhaps something more like: completed or accomplished.

Or keep it and put "was done with"

By the time they finished, the other teams had returned from their jobs. Jenny and Rosa took one look at their room.

“Sorry,” said the Mudkip apologetically as she saw Jenny’s expression, “I forgot Torchics don’t like water…”

Overall, it was a good chapter. It was pretty informative, and it was interesting who the new guild members were. I found it really interesting that the status of leader had switched from Wigglytuff to Sunflora. Though it makes me wonder what exactly happened to Wigglytuff and Chatot.

Well, in the previous, I thought something was up with Emily, but now I think I am confident in saying that Emily has some affiliation with the human from the main story in PMD2. I'm guessing that she was the partner to the main character. I look forward to see what her role in the story is.

I hope this posts proves useful to you. You've perked my interest, so expect to see more from me from now on. Keep it up! I look forward to the next chapter!™
 

Cacaruka

WHADDUP
A few little errors here and there, but otherwise a great PMD 2 story and an enjoyable read.

“Here is the Kangaskhan’s Storage, you store whatever you find on your journey or valuable things there,” Rosa started to explain as she pointed to a brown Pokémon with scaly skin, a pair of bull's horns, a pouch with a baby Kangaskhan and a black skull plate on its head standing in her shop, “Kangaskhan is kind to everyone, especially young Pokémon.”
Corrections in bold.

“Over there are the Kecleon brothers,” explained Emily, pointing to two chameleons. One is green and the other is purple, but they both have zigzag stripes on their bodies. They are standing in the green and purple shop that is right next to Kangaskhan’s Storage, “They sell items that you use in dungeons, like berries, seeds, iron thorns, orbs and more. The Kecleon brothers have been running their business ever since they inherited the shop from their parents.”
Made a few changes. The most substantial is in bold. I thought it would flow better like that, but you're free to disregard it if you want to. :p

Rosa rolled her eyes in a weird way and continued explaining as she pointed to a green bird Pokémon with wing in the colours of white, red and black, standing there making weird squawking noises in front of a treasure box, “That’s Xatu’s Appraisal. You can sometimes find little treasure boxes in dungeons. If you do, Xatu can open them for you.
Again, just a rephrasing. I also thought it would sound better this way, but again, feel free to disregard if you wish.

Overall, this story is going great, and I wish you all the best with it! It's certainly caught my attention, and it just needs some spelling and grammar issues taken care of.
 

Kindrindra

大事なのは自分らしいくある事
Hello! I'm back!
Your banner was too big? Wait...
Was this the same banner you neglected your math exam for? Ouch...
Oh, well, bad stuff happens when you write about Dark Pulse!


See Ya Later!
 

sweet_piplup123

I lost the game?!?!
To Torpoleon:So NOW I know! :D
To Viva La Revolution:I know, this banner limit really stinks...
To FPC:Hello there! Thanks for pointing out the mistakes!
To Cacaruka:I know...I need more work on sentence structures. *goes fix mistake*
To Kindrindra:...was that teasing me? I thought I already made it up to you. Wait...did your goldfish by any chance stole your memory again? :D
To everyone: Chapter 6 will be up either Tuesday or Wednesday, depends on the amount of mistakes I have to fix in that chapter.
 

Kindrindra

大事なのは自分らしいくある事
Oh no, I think it did... What was I talking about again? Oh, yes, banner. Did you say something about a blank on the banner so it didn't give anything away? Interesting... ICan'tWaitCan'tWaitCan'tWait! Oh, I think I forgot to post something:
I really liked how the team didn't have the same name as the fic! It was similar, which is almost necessary, but different!

See Ya Later... And Hopefully you'll have chapter 6 up by then :)

Now...


See Ya Later!

EDIT: Nope, not gone yet! RANK UP! DYNAMIC PWUNCH!
 

Kindrindra

大事なのは自分らしいくある事
Here again!
SP6, didn't you say you'd have the next chapter up today?
*crosses fingures and prays to arcuas*

See Ya Later!
 

sweet_piplup123

I lost the game?!?!
Hi there everyone!
I just finished ALL my exams! Yay!!!
Anyway...here's chapter 6, be harsh, review and all that...you know what I mean.
(Gosh...12 pages I swear I am gonna faint...)

Chapter 6--Team Gemstar's First Mission
Mystery Dungeons—they are places that change constantly. Can be any places. Various items can be picked up from the ground. It remained a mystery of how they were formed or how they kept changing.​
Poképedia Section 1: General​

A voice rang out…

“Jenny…”

Jenny opened her eyes and sat up, “Huh? Who? What? When? Where?” dimly lit by moonlight, all she could see were the furniture in the room and Rosa sleeping peacefully on the other bed.

Jenny shrugged and went back to sleep, but as soon as she fell asleep the voice rang out again.

“Jenny…” the haunting voice called.

“Who are you?” Jenny called out, she realised that she was in a dream.

“I am…” as the mysterious voice was about begin, it disappeared.

“Wait! Come back!” Jenny called out frantically, but the voice was no more.

**********​

Bang, bang, bang.

“Wake up!” shouted a voice loudly.

Crawdaunt was banging his claw on a gong. Loud, isn’t it?

“Oww…that hurt my ears!” whined Rosa as she got out of bed and nearly tripped over.

“If you don’t wake up then I’ll Crabhammer you!” ordered Crawdaunt loudly.

Everyone got out of their beds and headed towards the assembly area. As everyone was getting lined up, Katara from Team Avatar muttered angrily to Aang, “I swear, if I hear that damn gong again I’ll kill that little son of a…”

“Did you say anything?” said Crawdaunt sharply as he glared at Katara.

“No,” Katara lied quickly as she looked at the ground.

“I have to agree with Katara,” Rosa whispered in Jenny’s ears as she was yawning.

“Uh huh,” Jenny agreed, she had never heard or experienced this method of waking anyone up before, and she didn’t like it.

The other guild members came in as Bibi announced, “Ok everyone! Recite our motto!”

Everyone recited in a loud voice:
“One—Don’t shirk work!”
“Two—Run away and pay!”
“Three—Smile goes for miles!”

“Okay everyone!” said Sunflora, smiling, “Breakfast and then off to work!”

The word ‘breakfast’ cheered the others up as they all rushed to the cafeteria.

“Wow, I guess the one who’s doing the hard work around here is Smeargle,” commented Jenny as she looked at their breakfast, already set neatly on the table.

“Yeah…I guess so,” Rosa agreed as everyone gobbled down their breakfast.

After breakfast and the teams went upstairs. Only Team Gemstar remained in the cafeteria, unsure what to do.

Bibi saw Team Gemstar’s expressions, “Oh yeah, I’ll have to tell you what to do for your job,” said Bibi as he led Jenny and Rosa to the second level.

When the three of them arrived at the second level of the guild, Jenny and Rosa saw the other exploration teams picking Wanted posters and envelopes from the two boards.

Bibi began explaining, “Ok you see these two boards here?”

“Yeah…” responded Rosa.

“Well, whenever a Pokémon is in trouble, their friends send a rescue mail and Dugtrio post them up here. Town Sheriff Lucario sends his officers here to give Dugtrio the Wanted posters, and Dugtrio posts them on the other board,” described Bibi. He then added, “I think you might want to try rescuing first—taking down outlaws is much harder.”

“Okay then,” said Jenny casually.

“Oh, and another thing,” added Bibi quickly as he was about to climb downstairs, “The jobs have rescue ranks, E-ranked ones are the easiest, then D, C, B, A and then the stars from 1—8, well, good luck!” Bibi finished his sentence as he headed down to the third level.

“Well, let’s start searching,” stated Rosa.

Jenny scanned the rescue board, “How’s this one?” she handed Rosa a green envelope.

“Jenny, this is B-ranked,” Rosa scanned at the information in it and she added, “We’re not ready for that yet.”

“Sorry,” apologised Jenny as she took a silver envelope down and handed to Rosa, “How’s thi...”

Before Jenny could finish her sentence, someone shoved her from the back hard, causing her to fall over.

“Oops, sorry,” exclaimed Skitty, not meaning it. Pikachu and Aipom were both sneering as Skitty added, “I didn’t know you were so easy to push over.”

Jenny got up and was about to attack Team CBE, but Rosa refrained her. Meanwhile Team CBE was laughing and hi-fiveing each other.

Rosa pulled Jenny away from Team CBE, “Jerks,” she muttered angrily, “Well let’s have a look.”

Jenny took a deep breath to calm down, she opened the silver envelope and this was in the letter:

Rank: D
Message: Help! I was separated from my fiancée Butterfree in Mt Bristle and she never came out! I am not strong enough to fight off those Starlys! Please help! I’ll offer something good for reward.
Signed: Beautifly​

Jenny finished the letter and asked Rosa, “Where is Mt Bristle?”

“I’ll get the map,” said Rosa as she climbed back down.

Rosa came back up a few minutes later with their bag. She took out the map from the bag and unfolded it.

“According to this map, it’s a little further than the waterfall here,” she pointed at the waterfall, then to a small mountain not far from it.

“Well, Butterfree is waiting for us, why don’t we go now?” asked Jenny.

“And I thought I was the impatient one,” said Rosa sarcastically, “We have to bring some supplies first, unless you really want to faint in a dungeon.”

Stupid me, thought Jenny.

The two walked out from the guild and down the hill. It was early in the morning and the dew on the grass had not evaporated yet, it remained, glistening in the sunlight.

Team Gemstar turned left at the bottom of the hill and walked into Treasure Town. The shopkeepers were already in their shops communicating with the other exploration teams.

“So…we go to Kecleon’s shop, right?” Jenny suggested.

“You remembered,” complimented Rosa as they headed toward the Kecleon brothers.

The green chameleon greeted them friendlily, “Hello! A new team I see! What’s your team name?”

“Gemstar,” replied Jenny, smiling.

“So what do you want to buy today?” asked Kecleon.

“A Blast Seed, two Oran Berries, a Max Elixir and some Gravellerrock please,” the words flew out of Rosa’s mouth.

Jenny listened, wondering whether Rosa had been practising these words in her dreams.

Kecleon went into the storeroom and returned with the supplies, “420 Poké please.”

Rosa handed the money over. The purple Kecleon then asked nicely, “Miss Rosa, would you like to have a look at my fine wares?”

“Sorry,” apologised Rosa, “We haven’t got enough money.”

The purple Kecleon looked slightly disappointed, “Oh, I see. Well, good luck on your exploring.”

“Thanks,” said Jenny as she waved goodbye to them.

“We better store the rest of the money into the bank,” said Rosa as they headed toward the bank, “Going to a dungeon is risky, if you fainted in a dungeon and you are a rescue team, most of your items is either stolen by wild Pokémon or to be handed as rewards to your rescuer, plus the rescuer gets all the money you have with you for reward too.”

“Whoa…talk about harshness,” commented Jenny, she then added, “But then there is not much to store,” she pointed out the remaining 80 Poké.

“Yeah…” Rosa admitted embarrassingly, “Sorry, I guess I was on a spending spree back there, but don’t worry,” she added, “We can earn more money from missions and picking then up from the floor of dungeons!”

An ominous voice greeted them, “Morning, how can I help you?”

“We would like to store our money, please,” said Jenny as she looked at the white and black canine.

Absol stared at Jenny as if she was a ghost, her head jerked a bit as she said incredulously, “You…you will be involved in something bad soon.”

Jenny couldn’t help but shudder a little bit, while Absol asked Rosa for the team name as she made a note on the team’s bank account.

“I hope we see each other again,” said Absol as Team Gemstar walked away.

Jenny groaned as they arrived at the crossroad, “Urrgh…that Absol is so creepy!”

“Oh that’s just Absol,” answered Rosa, “Absol can detect disasters but I reckon sometimes this detecting disaster thing makes them too pessimistic.”

“But…” asked Jenny uncertainly, “What if Absol is right?”

Rosa couldn’t help but laugh, “Jenny! You sounded more pessimistic than Absol!”

“Hey…I take that as an insult!” Jenny charged at Rosa, knocking her to the ground.

“Alright, alright,” said Rosa, laughing as she got up, “Let’s get on with our mission.”

“So...how do we get there?” asked Jenny, “Walk?”

“If you live close to that dungeon,” said Rosa, “Then yes, but there is someone who can teleport you there, instead of you walking three or four hours to the destination.”

“Now THAT I don’t want,” said Jenny, she took out the two scarves from the bag and handed the white one to Rosa, “Better put these on.”

They walked towards a bunch of signposts that lead to different dungeons. There were also Psychic Pokémon there, talking to other teams. As Jenny was watching a small yellow fox disappeared with Team Eclipse in a mysterious red light, a white ballerina-like Pokémon walked up to them.
Kirlia asked them in a soft voice, “You need a lift to Mt Bristle?”

Jenny turned around in alarm, she was about to ask Kirlia how she guessed it but Kirlia quickly answered her, “I can read minds. So let me ask you again, do you need a lift to Mt Bristle?”

“Yes,” Jenny answered, at the same time trying hard not to think of anything, in case Kirlia read her mind again.

“Hold on to me,” said Kirlia.

Team Gemstar obeyed and held on to Kirlia.

A bright red light surrounded them. Jenny shut her eyes, thinking it’ll be a bumpy journey. But a few seconds later, when Jenny opened her eyes, she, Rosa and Kirlia were at the foot of a thorny mountain.

“Have a nice day,” said the Kirlia as the same red light glowed around her and she disappeared.

**********​

“Wow, Mt Bristle sure lived up to its name,” commented Jenny.

Jenny was right, the plants here had grown in a frenzy way, like someone who hasn’t washed their hair for ten years. The plants were in a mixture of green, yellow and grey. Team Gemstar had been walking for an hour now and they had gone a bit higher up the mountain.

“Man, walking up the mountain is hard work,” said Rosa, “I feel like I am defying gravity.”

“I know,” Jenny agreed, “And it’s like a maze around here!” She was pointing out the thorny bushes that had been growing out of control.

A bird flew in front of them, the bird looked like Aang, except it wasn’t him. It was a wild Starly.

The Starly gave Rosa a glance, Rosa also stared at Starly carefully. For a spilt second Jenny thought they were having a staring competition until Starly suddenly started pecking Rosa.

“Oww…” Rosa fired a beam of blue bubbles at Starly, the attack hit Starly but it wasn’t strong enough to finish it off. Starly’s wing glowed white as it advanced toward Rosa again.

Jenny stepped in front of Rosa, took a deep breath and spit bits of ember flew from her beak. The attack hit Starly, knocking her out.

“You ok?” Jenny asked Rosa.

“Yeah, thanks,” replied Rosa, she had a few scratches from Starly’s pecks but that was all. “The Defence Scarf prevented Starly from doing me serious harm,” grinned Rosa.

As they walked on silently Jenny picked up a little bottle, she recognised as Max Elixir, one of the things that Rosa brought earlier, she remember that these bottle could restore powers or something but she wasn't not quite sure.

“Remind me Rosa…does the Max Elixir restores power?” asked Jenny.

"You got that one right,” answered Rosa, “Oh damn…” she sounded frustrated as she looked to the front.

Jenny looked, two small muscular Pokémon were in their way; they had golden fins on top of their heads and even though they’re small, the two Machops had muscular bodies.

“Can you please move?” Jenny asked in a reasonable voice. Rosa face palmed at Jenny’s politeness as she thought, Jenny! What the fudge do you think you’re doing?!

“No, you get out of our way,” said one of the Machop as the other one kicked Jenny hard on her talon. Both of them laughed as Jenny doubled up in pain.

Jenny got p***ed off at those two jerks, she tried to scratch one of the Machop with her good talon, but the attack had minimal impact on the Machop.

“Dang,” Jenny cursed while the two Machop smirked as they advanced towards Rosa and her.

Rosa took a Blast Seed out of the bag; she put it in her mouth and suddenly, Rosa’s beak started spitting out fire. The fire made a bang like a firecracker as the Machop heading towards Jenny received big damage while the other one knocked Rosa down, punching her with his knuckle.

Jenny managed to recover from her pain as she stood up and saw the injured Machop sneaking up on Rosa.

“Never sneak up on someone,” muttered Jenny as she searched through the bag and found some Gravellerrocks, she took one and hurled it at the injured Machop, the rock hit Machop directly on the chest. Machop yelled and fell to the ground, unable to get up.

Rosa was slapping the other Machop as he used his fist punching Rosa. Suddenly Rosa’s beak glowed white and she stabbed her beak at one of Machop’s arms. Machop let go of Rosa as his arm started to bleed.

“S***…” cursed Machop angrily, holding his injured arm.

The other Machop shouted furiously, “How dare you made him bleed!” he got up and ran towards Team Gemstar.

“Let’s go!” said Rosa hurriedly as she pulled Jenny and the two of them ran away from the two Machop.

“Rosa! What was that attack you had just used on Machop?!” demanded Jenny as she ran, “How did you…huff…draw blood out of it?”

“Huff…that was…Peck,” said Rosa as she waddled, “It could give… fighting types big damage…stop, I think we lost him.”

The both of them stopped, panting they turned to look behind them, but the two Machop were nowhere in sight.

Rosa muttered apologetically, “I never meant to hurt him that badly.”

“I know you didn’t,” said Jenny, “Still…I hope they’re alright.”

“I think they will,” replied Rosa, “This mountain had an abundant amount of items lying on the ground.” As she finished her sentence she picked up a white seed, which Jenny recognised from her book as a Sleep Seed.

**********​

They moved on, climbing higher up Mt Bristle, fighting more Starlys and Machops until suddenly Jenny’s stomach grumbled.

“Let’s have a rest,” said Jenny.

“Yeah…” Rosa agreed as she took out two apples from the bag, “Luckily I packed these.” said Rosa as handed an apple to Jenny.

Rosa was about to sit down on a rock nearby when the “rock” moved.

“Waah!” Rosa screamed out in shock.

“Scaredy cat,” the rock Pokémon smirked; it had a big rock as body and two rocky arms extending from its body.

“Great…a Geodude,” said Rosa sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, “Back off or I’ll give you a taste of my Bubble.”

“I’d like to see you try,” sneered Geodude, obviously not taking Rosa seriously. Geodude charged towards Rosa, putting some damage on her.

“I had only one thing to say—you shall regret this,” Rosa pretended to sigh and shaked her head, as her head turned back to Geodude she fired her Bubble attack at Geodude.

Geodude tried to withstand the attack but she couldn’t, she was knocked back into a thorny bush.

“Ok…you won,” groaned Geodude as she somehow managed to get herself out of the bush. She scrutinized at Rosa and Jenny and said, “I see you’re an exploration team, because you have your bags with you.”

“That’s right,” answered Jenny, “We’re looking for Butterfree.”

Geodude answered promptly, “You’re? I happened to saw a crying Butterfree fly by a few hours ago.”

“Really? Which direction did Butterfree go?” asked Jenny eagerly.

“That way,” Geodude pointed to the east with her fist.

“Have a nice day,” said Jenny.

“Not that I did, you friend there attacked me, knowing that she’ll win,” said Geodude in a hurt voice.

Rosa rolled her eyes, “Well sorry then, take this,” she gave an Oran Berry to Geodude.

“Nice to meet you,” Geodude gave Team Gemstar a cheeky smile.

Jenny was about to walk on when Rosa asked, “Can we eat first? I am hungry.”

“We can eat while we walk, can’t we?” said Jenny, she added, “Besides, Butterfree is waiting for us.”

And I thought Smeargle was workaholic...thought Rosa.

**********​

Team Gemstar ate their apples as they walked at the direction Geodude pointed, but after a while they didn’t see any Butterfree, all they saw were Starlys and Machops.

“You don’t think that Geodude lied to us, do you?” said Rosa as she looked around; the thorns were thicker and wilder than before. Jenny reckoned they had gone a long way. She looked up into the sky and realised that it’s already afternoon.

“Dunno,” Jenny shrugged, “maybe Butterfree went…hey! What’s that?” she pointed at a Spinarak web in the distance and something seemed to be stuck on it.

“Let’s go and have a look!” answered Rosa.

They hurried over and saw a butterfly that has white wings, purple body and big red eyes. Butterfree’s wing was torn in a few places and she was unconscious. The web was huge and the messy thorns acted as a perfect camouflage for the web.

“Butterfree!” Jenny was shocked at the state of her, “We have to get her out of here! She doesn’t look good!”

Rosa took out an Oran berry from her bag and shoved it in Butterfree’s mouth.

“Come on…” Rosa prayed.

Butterfree stirred a bit, she woke up and saw Team Gemstar, she asked weakly, “Who are you?”

“Team Gemstar,” replied Rosa, “Jenny, can you try and burn the web off?”

“Rosa…wouldn’t that burnt Butterfree as well?” asked Jenny, the last thing she wanted to do was burn Butterfree into ash, “Also, I don’t want to spread a fire!” she pointed at the messy thorns.

Rosa said frustratingly, “Well what else can we…”

“Hold it right there!” a strange voice interrupted.

“Who’s there?” shouted Jenny, startled.

“String Shot,” a green spider Pokémon ventured out, he spat silk at Rosa, binding her.

“Rosa!” Jenny yelled, she attacked Spinarak with Ember, Spinarak let go, the fire attack was painful to him.

“Nobody spoils MY food!” Spinarak yelled angrily as he fired Poison Stings at Jenny.

“Fudge cakes…” cursed Jenny as the ominous purple poison barbs flew near her, she shut her eyes and expected the pain from the barbs to reach her. Jenny was lucky though; none of them hit her but as the poison barbs landed near her, she was trapped in a little area.

Rosa struggled to get the rest of the sticky stuff off her as Spinarak advanced.

“Get off you stupid sticky…” muttered Rosa angrily. As she tried to get the silk off by wriggling she saw the Spinarak heading towards her with a menacing look on his face.

Rosa was about to use Bubble but she felt her energy being drained. As Rosa felt herself getting weaker and weaker, she saw this trail of green light flowing from her towards Spinarak.

“Like my Leech Life?” asked Spinarak, smirking, “You can be the appetiser and Butterfree can be main coarse,” he glanced at Jenny evilly and added, “That Torchic there will make a great dessert!”

“Urrgh…Bubble!” Rosa groaned as she managed to blow some bubble into Spinarak’s face, blinding him for some time.

“Why you little…” snarled Spinarak while Jenny destroyed the poison barbs around her with fire.

As Spinarak was temporarily blinded, Jenny went over to Rosa but Rosa said, “Help Butterfree first, I am fine!”

So Jenny ran over to Butterfree while Rosa continued pecking at the sticky silk.

“It’s ok, relax,” soothed Jenny as she tried to get all the sticky silk off Butterfree with her talon. But as soon she started doing it, her talon got stuck on the web too.

Realising picking the web off won’t do, Jenny frantically tried to pull it, resulting herself falling to the ground.

“Look out!” yelled Butterfree in alarm as this black and red wave of energy hit Jenny on the head, giving her a headache.

“You just got a taste of my Faint Attack,” smirked Spinarak, it looked like his vision had recovered.

“Confusion,” Butterfree’s eye glowed blue as Spinarak suddenly found himself having a headache.

“Curse you Butterfree!” snarled Spinarak as he crawled around frantically like someone who went hypo after having too much sugar.

“Well, it was weak but it did the job well,” said Butterfree.

“Sorry, but even if I were your dessert fires doesn’t taste good to bug types,” stated Jenny sarcastically. Jenny tried to ignore the headache as she fired out more Ember attack at Spinarak, putting an enormous amount of damage onto him.

Rosa, on the other hand, was still trying to get the sticky silk off, she pecked at it and got some of it off, then she wriggle around vigorously. The silk didn’t come off, so Rosa pecked around a bit more, cursing as she wriggled around and the silk came off.

Rosa was just in time to see Spinarak crawling around like a maniac; she waddled after him as her beak glowed a pearly white.

Stab.

“AHHHH…” Spinarak gave a high-pitched yelp and he fainted.

“Whew…he ran around like a girl and screamed like a girl,” joked Rosa.

“Tell me about it,” said Jenny as she breathed some fire at the silk that was clinging to her talon, it worked like a charm and Jenny was free.

Jenny stood up and asked Butterfree, “So how did you end up here?”

“Well…” began Butterfree, “Beautifly and I came here for some training and I lost him in this wilderness, I was flying around frantically trying to get out and I end up here.”

Rosa studied the web and said, “Pecking at this web won’t do, it’s too strong. I am afraid burning it is the only option.”

Butterfree couldn’t help but shudder as she heard the word “burning”.

“Relax, this won’t hurt if you don’t move too much,” said Jenny as she tried to make her fire as small as possible but still strong enough to burn the web off.

Jenny’s fire licked the web away slowly while Rosa kept an eye out for any fire that might spread to the thorns. Butterfree whined when the fire got close to her.

“That’s it, now just relax…” soothed Rosa.

Jenny concentrated as she went around some tight spots, finally, after some hard work, Butterfree was released from the sticky web.

“Phew…” Jenny sighed in exhaustion and she collapsed onto the ground, but overall, she was glad that she didn’t burn Butterfree.

Rosa tapped Jenny’s shoulder and said, “Uh oh, I think that guy’s waking up.”

Spinarak stirred and Jenny began to panic a little, “We better get out of here,” she got up, pull out her badge and said directly to the badge, “Mission complete, Time to go.”

The badge glowed red as Jenny, Rosa and Butterfree was enveloped by the red light and they vanished.

**********​

“Butterfree!” exclaimed Beautifly, “I missed you!”

Butterfree and Beautifly embraced as Team Gemstar looked on happily.

“Thanks for rescuing Butterfree, I missed my fiancée,” said Beautifly gratefully.

“Well, we’re glad that we rescued your loved one,” Jenny smiled.

Beautifly handed over a pink scarf and a bag of money, “Here’s your reward.”

Rosa looked at it and exclaimed, “Wow…a Pecha Scarf! Cool…”

“Well, we must get going, thanks again!” said Butterfree gratefully as she and Beautifly flew up the ladder.

“Well! Good job!” said Bibi, he had just come up from the ladder leading down, “How much money have you got?” he asked.

“Here…500 Poké,” said Rosa, holding up the money.

Bibi took the bag, which left Rosa and Jenny surprised; Bibi took half the money out and handed the rest back to them.

“Half of the money you earn goes to the guild, that’s how we can keep the guild running,” explained Bibi simply, “Well, I must get going.”

Jenny was shocked, she turned to Rosa and exclaimed, “That guy just took our money while he sit around doing nothing all day!”

Rosa sighed, “I know, but it’s the rules…not that we could change it.”

Over near the outlaw notice board there was an argument going on.

“Please…” begged a little purple rat, “I can’t afford it.”

Aipom said coldly, “Let me see…we had taken down a Houndoom for you, returned your fang necklace and all you gave us was 100 Poké? Pathetic.”

Pikachu nodded in unison.

Rattata tried to sneak past them but Aipom tripped him over with his tail.

“Now, now,” said Pikachu as his red cheek sparked, “You can’t just leave us and run away like that, can you?”

“Hey! Leave him alone jerks,” Jenny shouted as she went over, she handed 150 Poké to Team CBE and said, “I am paying for this client over here. Now you take the money and get lost or else,” she added threateningly as Rosa came and stood near Jenny, crossing her flippers.

Skitty snarled as she swiped the money from Jenny with her front leg.

“Let him go,” ordered Skitty coldly.

As Rattata headed towards the ladder he cast Team Gemstar a grateful look.

Team CBE and Team Gemstar glared at each other until Turtwig interrupted, “Uh…anything wrong here guys?”

“Oh…nothing,” Jenny quickly turned to Turtwig and Team CBE headed down the ladder, “So how was your day?” she asked.

“Awesome!” exclaimed Turtwig, “Ralts improved on his fighting skills! Boy am I hungry, let’s go and have dinner.”

At dinner Team Gemstar ate their food quickly and went into their room early to relax, Jenny took out her Poképedia and started reading again.

“You never rest do you?” said Rosa as she lied on her bed, looking at the ceiling.

“I need to catch up,” answered Jenny simply.

While Jenny read, Rosa took some paper and pencil from the drawer and started drawing. Rosa drew Jenny and herself together and hanged it up the wall, on the bottom left hand side of the picture it said, “Team Gemstar, best friends forever”.

Before long Crawdaunt came into Team Gemstar’s room and said, “Bedtime ladies.”

The two of them said goodnight to each other and fell asleep.

**********​

Under the moonlight, the leaves blew in the chilly wind. A figure moved towards a house silently.

The thief picked the lock cleverly and went inside. He was in the living room. There were some chairs and a small table in the middle, a rug spread out on the floor. On the left corner of the room was a big bookshelf and on the right a door leading to a bedroom.

On the right hand side of the bookshelf, there it was, the thing in the glass case.

“Finally,” he muttered, “I found it.”

He was about to reach for it when he accidentally knocked over a cup on the table, waking the owner up.

The owner ran into the living room as the thief smashed the glass case with his fist and snatched the thing from the glass case.

“S***,” the thief swore as he saw the owner, he quickly jumped out of the window.

The owner shouted angrily, “Come back here you little…” as he ran out from the door, he could not see the thief anywhere.

TBC...
 
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Torpoleon

Well-Known Member
Great chapter!I loved it!!You rock sweetpiplup123!
 

Pokemanmaster

Whismaking Legend
great chapter sweetpiplup123, team gemstars mission was good but in my opinion i would've thought team gemstar would've taken on an E mission instead of a D but it really doesn't matter you explained the fights quite well and the end part where the guy was stealing something was good, and i see your keeping the mystery going and I can't wait to find out what will happen with that.All together you've got me wanting more, i mean for days i was waitig for this chapter and it's here all together 9.9/10 so close just somethings took a little while to understand your great sweetpiplup123
 
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