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pokemon mystery dungeon: green rescue team!

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story: this story takes place in a world inhabited only by pokemon and no humans, you, a human have accidentally come to this place and become a pokemon! your senses and feelings have become more like a pokemon too, why have you become a pokemon? looks like we're gonna find out! ~ many natural disasters have taken place recently and are harming this peaceful pokemon world! (oh no!)

Charmander(Me)=DJ, and Pikachu(Partner)=Sparky

I am a good Charmander, who was walking toward the rescue headquarters. Me and Pikachu were supposed to have our big rescue todaay! It was said to be for a Pokemon that gets bad tempers if you hit him. We knew it was a Magby then. But we was thinking at first that it was a stupid Cameerupt.
" Hi, peppy!? I said happily. " Whats up peppy! Pikachu said happily too. " So what're you guys up to? I'v heard just recently about the way you beat Arbok and his team, and I heard about you safely getting the babySandshrew back to his momma! peliper(peppy) said in relief. " Thats why you two have this letter! Take it and find that spit pokemon! he shouted. We both ran out the door, and waved to Peppy as we said " see-ya peppy! " We got to an old rusty place that seemed to had been getting burnt alot. Magby wasn't just angry, but furious. He was fighting two Magnetons hat shocked him in the face once. " Uh...well Sparky it looks like we know the problem here! But how to solve it? I asked to myself outloud thinking. " Well DJ, how about we ask questions? Sparky asked. " Great idea, Sparky. Lets break up the fight first. I'll use the smallest ember okay? I said to Sparky. And asked him. I used a ember attack but it seemed to still be a huge fire attack, even though I wasn't even trying at all. " Oops. Well at least we know, that broke the fight up! I said sweating. " I hope you didn't barbeque them because if I see barbeque, I'll have to eat em' cause I'm starving. Pikachu pointed out. The Magneton's knew I was a rescue team member, so they told me their story. " Well, to tell the truth, we lived here first. Our kids Magnemite, and Magnet, and our little girl magnetix all are at school. He started to make a campfire and we told him that that'll make the whole place get rusty or burned down. So we used thundershock to cut the lights on for im, but one hit the campfire, and somehow was deflected towards Magby, and the thundershock hit his face. But, then we had to calm Magby down, and the only way to do that was to knock him out! So we faught him. The two Magenton's explained. " Thats how the entrance got so rusty. Magby is that true? I asked Magby. " Yes, Yes sir! Magby said scaredly. " Do any of you know who did that? I asked the three. The a voice came from out of nowhere, and said " I DID IT! " Then a haunter came out of nowhere, and used shadowball. Luckily the Haunter had bad aim. " Why are you doing this stupid stuff? How'd you feel if you thought someone attacked you? Sparky asked. " I don't care, I just want to destroy anything that isn't a ghost! SHADOWBALL! He yelled. The three Magnemites had just gotten home. Magnemite, Magnetix, and Manet all dodged the shadoeball just in time. We all attacked the ghost at once. The ghost ran off before we could heal him, so we figured that we had been doe here. But then we caught him making mischief on the bus home. " Noooooo! Not you two again!? Haunter screamed as he saw us. We had no choice, but to take him to get healed up, and then he had o spend a week in a ghost lock up chamber!
We had done a great job! We went to our homes, and ate, then peacefully slept, until another day begins!
 

Frosted Heavens

Crystallized Wind
Is it just me or is this the third time I see this kinda fic, oh well let's go for the review.

Review:

review: not very good and almost no description, well probably everyone has heard from Charmander Pikachu, but imagine a few stupid idiots stumble on this forum, they read your fic, but they don't know how a Pikachu and a Charmander look(of course that's almost impossible, but imagine if we were the stupid idiots, we wouldn't understand a thing) so please describe its appearance, is it blue, has it wings like a truck, is its mouth as big as the entrance of a cave, also how did Charmander (asuming its Charmander) turn into a pokemon, did he fall asleep, a mysterious licht appeared and turned him into a pokemon, also(man lot of also's) split your story into pharagraphs, also(there we go again) some words were spelled wrong or you forgot a character, this also seems to be very cliche, also(I hate that word!)a normal chapter has to be atleast 2 or 3 pages long on Word, but I assume that you have written this in the reply box, even it if was a prologue it was too short

I hope I didn't sound rude and did not discourage you, please listen to everybody's advice and I'm sure you will improve, please don't be like some stupid jerks who don't listen to advice and hate to be critized, please improve okay^-^

Electric soul Fairy
 
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