Knightfall
Blazing Wordsmith
Reply to Critique
I said this nearly two years ago, and I’ve tried my best to retain this philosophy throughout writing Overthrown. And it is with that mindset, that I reply.
Jax, I asked for this review. I fully knew that you, being who you are, would find the errors here and expose them for what they were. I knew it would hurt, but I also knew that I needed to see them in order to improve. Do not apologize. This review stung deeply, but I am not yet dead.
You are completely right in your analysis, but I have my own (likely misguided) reasons for including those “needless” scenes.
I tried to include a scene a realism to the characters by having them do seemingly normal tasks. They are a team, but not every moment has to be spent together, especially while they have a few days off. I realize that you disliked Chapter 16 greatly, but I warned that this was a calm chapter. I purposefully made sure that the atmosphere was not entirely plot driven and gave the story a breather for a single chapter. And, realistically, the characters needed time to recover, so I gave it to them.
I thought what I was doing added more development to their characters, but apparently you disagree. With good reasons, I might add. You have every reason to berate this chapter, and I see your points. But, I am sticking to my argument that I needed to give everything about this story a bit of a break for one chapter.
And, I understand about the multiple subplots. Many of them were left over from a time when this story had no focus or even a true ending to work towards. Back then, before Chapter Ten, I had no idea where I was going with this story, because I was still an inexperienced author. But recently, I’ve found my focus, despite what you say, and I’ve tried my best to make up for my shortcomings in earlier chapters with better development and a more centered story.
It seems I will have to prove myself to you in the future.
That was ... Back in Chapter Seven, if you are referring to the woods outside of Loyalty Square. Or, if you are referring to the last mission they did in Chapter Three, in Spore Meadows, when they rescued Icarus.
But, your points are valid...
Well, this is heart-wrenching to read. To think that everything I’ve worked for in terms of developing my characters backfired with the stagnation. Going back to my previous argument, I don’t want to keep my characters in constant action towards the end plot. There needs to be time for meditation and reflection on their parts. I feel I would simply burn out if I didn’t write these scenes. And, this is only Part One. Since when does all the action happen in the first act? I tried to pace this story so that it gradually picks up as it gradually moves towards its goal.
While it all might not be interesting, I enjoy writing it. That’s one of the reasons why I write. Yes, I want to have a good story, but my style at the moment enjoys writing these introspective scenes on the occasion. I will fix the issue in future chapters, though.
Chapter 17 will see the implementation of this. Action for the main characters, and the resolution of several of the sideplots. I am sorry that you had only Chapter 16 to reflect on when you wrote this, as I believe that when it is done, Chapter 17 will change your outlook.
I understand. I do. You are not the first and will not be the last to tear me apart for my long chapters. It doesn’t help that several authors I look up to constantly write long chapters, so I feel a need to emulate them to an extent. Coupled with my descriptive writing style, and it makes for long chapters.
And I foolishly took it as a thing to be proud of. I wasn’t considerate to my readers, or my beta readers. I was selfish there, and my God, it shows. And, it doesn’t help that this chapter was the NaNo chapter. It got the majority of my words that month to say the least.
I will go with the first option, to an extent. I do see the need for breaking up chapters, and I will get to work on it for future chapters.
Again, I understand. There are some things that need to remain, but I will strongly take this into consideration...
I laughed when I got here. It was here that I realized that nearly everything I’ve been doing was wrong. I always thought Jay to be my weakest character. I am not ashamed to admit that I rank him among the least of my favorite characters, and so gave him little screen time.
In my ignorance of him, it seems I let him develop perfectly while I simply ruined the others. This was quite the slap to the face, but it’s one that I needed. I laughed, but it was a laugh one makes when revelation is had. When one’s work is suddenly rendered null and void. It was a laugh followed by frustration.
I thought I was doing the right thing with her. I thought I was giving her an issue to tackle in due time, and that she would eventually resolve in her own fashion, but it seems that way was wrong as well. In drawing out her troubles, I ruined what good standing she had.
I take that last sentence is not supposed to be taken as praise...
Thank you. Ian is a character who I enjoy writing. Yet, while you say that you like him, I’ve seen everywhere that not many people like his scenes or see their point. And, this goes back to your point. I haven’t tied him into the plot at all. That was intentional, but it seems that some foreshadowing is in order.
And I’m glad that you were able to truly enjoy at least one scene in this unfocused story... It’s been noted.
Again, I’m glad you seem to enjoy Nickolas. His character is another that I truly enjoy writing. I have always thought about what happens to leaders when they are put in positions that take away their power and way of life, and it is with those thoughts that I wrote him. I don’t want him to be a villain, or even bad, because he isn’t. You’ll see that with a lot of characters. They have motives for why they do what they do, and at times, they aren’t evil or with malice intended.
And Torrent is just that grizzled member of the army who cares for his recruits, and not much else what the government says. Heh, I’ve enjoyed writing him.
Then I am sorry to disappoint you, but Noah does have a purpose other than comic relief. I never intended for him to be simply such, even during the time when my story had a weak plot. I wanted him to mean something to the plot, and so, I made plans. Plans that are about to be carried out. He has a quest, and he has a single problem to sort out. Fortunately, it is small and his personality should shine through once it’s done with.
Remember that outline I mentioned earlier that called for more action in the second part? Leo was included in that. I tried to build him up as a followers and reactor for the entire first part, as circumstances change in the second part. He gets the chance to act on his own and flex his own muscles. He seeks answers to his mysteries. But, yeah, I see why you see him like this, because he truly hasn’t done much yet. I have no argument, as this is kinda how I wanted Leo to be at this point in time. I didn’t see it as that bad of a thing, but apparently it is...
I figured you’d have more to say about him, but I figure a short-but-positive sentence is great and I’ll take it. I love writing his character. Absolutely love it.
I’m glad that I’ve been able to impress. Description has long been part of my style, and unfortunately, it does account for many of the positive and negative things seen here. I will get around to finding the balance. I will get it right.
Thank you. This world has taken up a large part of my imagination, and since I’m weird, I enjoy fleshing it out. I enjoy thinking up laws and protocols that will likely never see any mention in this story. I simply love making this world as real to me as any nation on earth is (besides Molossia).
I’ve theorized what would happen if Nickolas was assassinated. I’ve experimented what martial law effects towns and cities. I’ve done what I can to build this world up.
And, my take on this war will be an odd one. It will go into the depth you’re expecting, but it will be an odd take of it. Just to say.
To be certain, I will try and refocus this story as much as I can. I understand this and won’t try and defend myself. I know what I did wasn’t good, and while I won’t revise what’s been written, I can still save the future, as it were.
I will be splitting up the chapters, but not the story. And, I will keep the needless scenes to a minimum, but as to my argument above, I still believe there needs to be down time occasionally.
It’s this line that nearly broke me when I first read it. I will not lie. I actually had to sign off early and go to bed. I didn’t sleep for nearly an hour, but I just had to think about that line over and over again. It cut deep and part of me still wishes you hadn’t put it in. I still would have taken your advice to heart without doubt, but that line crushed something inside of me.
To have nearly three years worth of constant work be called merely “okay” by an author I’ve respected ever since I found these forums drove me into a depressed stupor for most of the next day.
But now, I know I just have to prove you wrong. I have to make that line void and meaningless with all my future work. I have to fix my mistakes and refocus. Unfortunately, that means an extensive revision of Chapter 17, but I’ll do it to ensure that it’s a quality chapter.
Thank you for this review, Jax. I’ve wanted a review from someone so highly respected for a long time now, and while parts of it sting, I’m happy I finally got it. I have mistakes, but I’m going to fix them. Eventually, I’ll be at the point where I want to be, but for now, I’ll forge my own path through this jungle of imperfection. I’m going to keep working to be the author I’ve aspired to be for so long.
I appreciate this review more than words can say at the moment. I'm glad that I got it, and despite how it made me feel at first, I am happy that those issues were pointed out.
Knightfall signing off... ;005;
I would appreciate reviews, constructive criticism, and advice to improve the quality of this fic.
I said this nearly two years ago, and I’ve tried my best to retain this philosophy throughout writing Overthrown. And it is with that mindset, that I reply.
I am totally going to feel like a jerk by doing this because this is a blunt review, and I’m sorry. orz In any case, I’m focusing less on specifics and more on general thoughts here because we’ve got sixteen lengthy chapters of ground to cover. However, a lot of this will probably focus on things that happened in the sixteenth chapter, just because that’s freshest in my mind … and also the one I liked the least. But in any case, if my judgment is completely off, I apologize in advance for that much.
Jax, I asked for this review. I fully knew that you, being who you are, would find the errors here and expose them for what they were. I knew it would hurt, but I also knew that I needed to see them in order to improve. Do not apologize. This review stung deeply, but I am not yet dead.
Anyway, let me also come right out of the gate and say this: I thought this fic was okay but not quite there yet......
I’d hate to be unusually blunt for how I normally review, but Overthrown is a bit like that, especially towards the end of this thread. You have a lot of incredibly detailed scenes and scenes where characters are very introspective or do minor things like fixing a dam or having a chat or literally walking down the street, but including these things causes the story to feel like it isn’t moving forward. Here’s the thing. You have a plot, and that plot is about a growing civil war and these characters’ involvement in it, yes? Well, that should really be the focus of your story, and it should feel as if a lot of your characters’ actions are somehow heading towards that goal of being involved in this war. However, when it comes to Overthrown, I forget that there’s a war going on because so much time is spent in the characters’ heads/focusing on subplots that there isn’t much added to the main plot. As a result, it feels as if the story is going slowly because there’s less plot motion and more … walking down the street and staring at sunsets. Moreover, the more subplots you have, the more fractured your story becomes, and it seems—especially in chapter sixteen—as if all of the main characters are off doing their own thing, rather than going forward with the main plot.
You are completely right in your analysis, but I have my own (likely misguided) reasons for including those “needless” scenes.
I tried to include a scene a realism to the characters by having them do seemingly normal tasks. They are a team, but not every moment has to be spent together, especially while they have a few days off. I realize that you disliked Chapter 16 greatly, but I warned that this was a calm chapter. I purposefully made sure that the atmosphere was not entirely plot driven and gave the story a breather for a single chapter. And, realistically, the characters needed time to recover, so I gave it to them.
I thought what I was doing added more development to their characters, but apparently you disagree. With good reasons, I might add. You have every reason to berate this chapter, and I see your points. But, I am sticking to my argument that I needed to give everything about this story a bit of a break for one chapter.
And, I understand about the multiple subplots. Many of them were left over from a time when this story had no focus or even a true ending to work towards. Back then, before Chapter Ten, I had no idea where I was going with this story, because I was still an inexperienced author. But recently, I’ve found my focus, despite what you say, and I’ve tried my best to make up for my shortcomings in earlier chapters with better development and a more centered story.
It seems I will have to prove myself to you in the future.
That last note is probably why I actually felt as if the last story arc in which Team Salient went through a mystery dungeon was so memorable: you have all of the characters working together to move the plot forward. They’re not doing their own thing, and everything, including the scenes that took place elsewhere, felt like they were ultimately contributing to a single story. That and, frankly, they weren’t spending so much time basically meditating on their identities/focusing on their personal problems.
(Yeah. You probably can tell that I didn’t care for chapter sixteen all that much. Sorry about that.)
That was ... Back in Chapter Seven, if you are referring to the woods outside of Loyalty Square. Or, if you are referring to the last mission they did in Chapter Three, in Spore Meadows, when they rescued Icarus.
But, your points are valid...
In short, when the story of a side character (Ian, in this case) is more gripping than what’s going on with your main characters, chances are, you need to give your main characters something to do. And to be fair, yes, I liked Ian’s story arc. That’s just because it felt like something was happening there. You maintained the same level of quality in your prose, but every word you were using felt like it was contributing to an overall picture, be it to add atmosphere or to describe Ian moving closer and closer to his goal. In other words, Ian’s storyline isn’t stagnant. He’s not simply sitting still and mediating. He’s doing something, and it’s that something that makes his arc interesting.
Well, this is heart-wrenching to read. To think that everything I’ve worked for in terms of developing my characters backfired with the stagnation. Going back to my previous argument, I don’t want to keep my characters in constant action towards the end plot. There needs to be time for meditation and reflection on their parts. I feel I would simply burn out if I didn’t write these scenes. And, this is only Part One. Since when does all the action happen in the first act? I tried to pace this story so that it gradually picks up as it gradually moves towards its goal.
While it all might not be interesting, I enjoy writing it. That’s one of the reasons why I write. Yes, I want to have a good story, but my style at the moment enjoys writing these introspective scenes on the occasion. I will fix the issue in future chapters, though.
Chapter 17 will see the implementation of this. Action for the main characters, and the resolution of several of the sideplots. I am sorry that you had only Chapter 16 to reflect on when you wrote this, as I believe that when it is done, Chapter 17 will change your outlook.
The other issue I want to talk about is chapter length....
What happens when you read something on a website, however? You can save your place between chapters, but you can’t save your place between pages. This is pretty significant because with a book or ebook, the ability to save one’s place allows them to take as many breaks as possible. They don’t need to know the exact part where they left off because something will be able to remind them where they were. With things that are actually posted onto a website, a reader’s only breaks are between chapters because there’s not really anything that can reliably mark off which page a reader is on. So when you have a chapter that’s forty pages long, that’s not really impressive; that’s daunting and rather exhausting to a reader. As I’ve mentioned via PM, long chapters are more difficult to digest than shorter chapters because of this, and as a result, specific events become less memorable. The reader ends up focusing some of their attention on figuring out how they can take in an entire chapter or otherwise save their place, rather than focus all of their attention on what’s going on in your story.
I understand. I do. You are not the first and will not be the last to tear me apart for my long chapters. It doesn’t help that several authors I look up to constantly write long chapters, so I feel a need to emulate them to an extent. Coupled with my descriptive writing style, and it makes for long chapters.
And I foolishly took it as a thing to be proud of. I wasn’t considerate to my readers, or my beta readers. I was selfish there, and my God, it shows. And, it doesn’t help that this chapter was the NaNo chapter. It got the majority of my words that month to say the least.
The solution to this issue actually a lot simpler than you would think. That is, it’s literally break up your chapters. It’s not necessary to have eight lengthy scenes in one chapter; even if scenes are related, it’s perfectly fine to carry them over to the next one. You have to remember that even if it’s not that unusual to have chapters that are twenty pages or more in print or ebooks, you’re not working with that same medium. As a result, you actually do have to adapt and do things slightly differently.
I will go with the first option, to an extent. I do see the need for breaking up chapters, and I will get to work on it for future chapters.
...That is absolutely the main thing you should be focusing on: filtering out what isn’t important to present the important parts that push your story forward.
Again, I understand. There are some things that need to remain, but I will strongly take this into consideration...
Jay is probably your strongest character, I have to say, if only because his journey is the clearest. He’s relied on his aura powers all his life, he’s been blinded, and now he’s on a quest to help him see again. And in the introspective parts, you don’t fall into the trap of making him angst forever about his dilemma; rather, he acknowledges he has to get stronger and pushes forward. His breakdown is present, but it’s refreshing to see that it’s limited to one sentence. So, really, as negative as this review is so far, I have to give you credit for giving a character a crisis and making them face it in a way not many people have the balls to do. It really would have been so easy to make him angst for chapters on end. It really would have. But you don’t, and that’s fantastic.
I laughed when I got here. It was here that I realized that nearly everything I’ve been doing was wrong. I always thought Jay to be my weakest character. I am not ashamed to admit that I rank him among the least of my favorite characters, and so gave him little screen time.
In my ignorance of him, it seems I let him develop perfectly while I simply ruined the others. This was quite the slap to the face, but it’s one that I needed. I laughed, but it was a laugh one makes when revelation is had. When one’s work is suddenly rendered null and void. It was a laugh followed by frustration.
Conversely, you also have an interesting character in Kelly, who is stuck on the fact that her parents abandoned her. She gets so obsessive about this that she writes letters to them over and over again expressing her feelings, only to burn them up. She has nightmares about them. She was practically kidnapped and nearly killed because Froslass could take advantage of that fixation. In short, this kid has problems, and although I flinch just a bit because of my inner “this is a war why are we really going to spend scenes focusing on a character’s parental issues really Knightfall really” reaction, it’s also interesting to see that she’s, so far, only hesitantly taking steps on her journey. It’s as if she’s reluctant to fix her flaws, unlike Jay who gets back up and says, “Okay, let’s do this.” Of course, there’s a pretty fundamental difference between the two (Jay’s problem is crippling to him whereas Kelly’s is just a nuisance to her), but still, it’s not every day that you see a character so resistant to change.
I thought I was doing the right thing with her. I thought I was giving her an issue to tackle in due time, and that she would eventually resolve in her own fashion, but it seems that way was wrong as well. In drawing out her troubles, I ruined what good standing she had.
I take that last sentence is not supposed to be taken as praise...
You also have Ian’s madness compared to Vertex’s composure. Ian’s insanity and desperation was actually portrayed rather beautifully, which really went to highlight his struggle. (You can probably tell that Ian is my favorite.) But the part where Ian knocked Vertex out (and probably killed him, judging by how you described it then) was particularly heartbreaking because it looked almost like Ian was punching out his conscience and sanity right then and there. The two balanced each other rather nicely, so of course, it was hard to watch that relationship dissolve.
Thank you. Ian is a character who I enjoy writing. Yet, while you say that you like him, I’ve seen everywhere that not many people like his scenes or see their point. And, this goes back to your point. I haven’t tied him into the plot at all. That was intentional, but it seems that some foreshadowing is in order.
And I’m glad that you were able to truly enjoy at least one scene in this unfocused story... It’s been noted.
Then, you’ve got the king (whose name I have hilariously forgotten due to the above issues), who’s given a rather humbling journey through his downfall and time at the church, plus the rather amusing notes concerning Torrent, his stance towards the town, his journal, and so forth. It’s very rare to see leader figures be placed in such humanizing positions, so it was beautiful to see that happen to both. For the king, it’s refreshing because he’s not made into an evil tyrant or anything of the sort. He’s a man who held power and made mistakes during his reign, and now he’s trying to find himself and seek ways to repair the damage he’s done. For Torrent, it’s just amusing to see him as more of a fatherly figure, a caring ruler, and above all, a contrast to how the king apparently ran things. The contrast is, of course, fairly subtle and therefore rather well done.
Again, I’m glad you seem to enjoy Nickolas. His character is another that I truly enjoy writing. I have always thought about what happens to leaders when they are put in positions that take away their power and way of life, and it is with those thoughts that I wrote him. I don’t want him to be a villain, or even bad, because he isn’t. You’ll see that with a lot of characters. They have motives for why they do what they do, and at times, they aren’t evil or with malice intended.
And Torrent is just that grizzled member of the army who cares for his recruits, and not much else what the government says. Heh, I’ve enjoyed writing him.
To be honest, I think that the only characters who I couldn’t really focus as much on were Noah and Leo himself. Noah is understandable because he’s more of the laid-back, comedic relief character, so I really didn’t expect him to go on a quest of his own. Of course, that doesn’t mean he I didn’t think he did anything significant in the story or that he’s not as well-developed or likable. Noah doesn’t need a quest; he doesn’t need to fix anything within himself. You never drop any implication that he does either. So on his own, it’s easy to be okay with him—even like him, given his shenanigans—because we can focus on his personality and still see a complete character.
Then I am sorry to disappoint you, but Noah does have a purpose other than comic relief. I never intended for him to be simply such, even during the time when my story had a weak plot. I wanted him to mean something to the plot, and so, I made plans. Plans that are about to be carried out. He has a quest, and he has a single problem to sort out. Fortunately, it is small and his personality should shine through once it’s done with.
Leo, meanwhile? It’s difficult to get a vibe from him because a lot of the time, things are happening to him, or things are being done by the characters around him while he’s just sort of hitching a ride. The latest chapter’s a great example of that. He sets out to do something, but instead, he’s forced to go help build a dam by a passing Sneasel. Then, there was the whole Mismagius business, wherein of course he doesn’t really have too much freedom to act on his own accord. While I have nothing against passive protagonists now and then, Leo’s the main character in a PMD fic, and he’s built up to be someone who should be able to take charge (what with the fight against Froslass and all). Yet he doesn’t. He has all of these mysteries he should be setting out to solve (what his key is, how he got into this universe, why he’s a Charmeleon, what his role is in all of this, who the eff Mismagius thinks he is, that kind of thing), but he doesn’t really do much—at least, not in this chapter—to sort things out. Not until someone else comes along and pushes him forward. So it’s harder to connect with him because I tend to see him more like a chess piece than a full-fledged character. He reacts; he doesn’t act.
Remember that outline I mentioned earlier that called for more action in the second part? Leo was included in that. I tried to build him up as a followers and reactor for the entire first part, as circumstances change in the second part. He gets the chance to act on his own and flex his own muscles. He seeks answers to his mysteries. But, yeah, I see why you see him like this, because he truly hasn’t done much yet. I have no argument, as this is kinda how I wanted Leo to be at this point in time. I didn’t see it as that bad of a thing, but apparently it is...
As for that Mismagius, well. I’m all for mysterious assholes who hold more power than they should over characters, and it seems like Mismagius is a very, very nice example of such.
I figured you’d have more to say about him, but I figure a short-but-positive sentence is great and I’ll take it. I love writing his character. Absolutely love it.
In terms of writing style, filler aside, it’s not too bad. Descriptions are frequently very vivid, and although the pacing of the story drags in more than one area, you do know how to build atmosphere rather well. (Again, this is something that I really liked about the Ian scenes as well as the scenes that take place in the church. For Ian’s scene, you create a very nice dark, House-of-Leaves-esque labyrinthe, and it’s very beautiful and very creepy at the same time. The church, meanwhile, is very clearly somber and ancient, and it’s easy to imagine it being cold, dusty, yet awe-inspiringly holy. As a result, Ian’s scenes become fantastically frantic; the king’s become grave and serious to intense levels. It really does feel like I’m reading a high fantasy with both.)
I’m glad that I’ve been able to impress. Description has long been part of my style, and unfortunately, it does account for many of the positive and negative things seen here. I will get around to finding the balance. I will get it right.
There’s also the fact that the world-building is probably some of the best I’ve seen in a Pokémon fanfiction. It’s clear you spent a lot of time building up this world and creating not only a cast of characters but complex politics, societies, customs, writing systems, regions—you name it. It’s a very deep and fleshed-out world, and it’s easy to get excited about the idea that it’s probably going to get destroyed. And by that, I mean when you get more into the war, it’s going to be fascinating to watch, just because you have all of this history and background details to add depth to what’s going on. It’s not, for example, just an attempted assassination on the king. It’s an attempted assassination that comes as a result of years and years political abuse.
Thank you. This world has taken up a large part of my imagination, and since I’m weird, I enjoy fleshing it out. I enjoy thinking up laws and protocols that will likely never see any mention in this story. I simply love making this world as real to me as any nation on earth is (besides Molossia).
I’ve theorized what would happen if Nickolas was assassinated. I’ve experimented what martial law effects towns and cities. I’ve done what I can to build this world up.
And, my take on this war will be an odd one. It will go into the depth you’re expecting, but it will be an odd take of it. Just to say.
In short, Overthrown was difficult to get through. You have a lot of good points going for you. You have some interesting character arcs, deeply detailed settings, even some pretty good atmosphere-building going on. However, it does get bogged down by a lack of focus, which may hurt you in the long run due to the platform and method through which you’re releasing your story. It feels more like Overthrown should really be split up into multiple fics, come to think of it, each focusing on a different character arc, and that’s just because you seem to tackle a lot at once and might have trouble deciding what is and isn’t important to your overall story. Assuming you don’t want to go this route (because it is rather messy and probably also unnecessary, considering you’re sixteen chapters in), just keep asking yourself, “What’s the main idea of this story? Will this scene contribute to the ending that I’m looking for? Do I really need to spend paragraphs with this one character going on about how crappy his life is?” (Chapter sixteen, third scene, by the by.) The more you ask yourself about what is and isn’t important to your plot, the less likely you’ll spend time on something that really isn’t all that important.
To be certain, I will try and refocus this story as much as I can. I understand this and won’t try and defend myself. I know what I did wasn’t good, and while I won’t revise what’s been written, I can still save the future, as it were.
I will be splitting up the chapters, but not the story. And, I will keep the needless scenes to a minimum, but as to my argument above, I still believe there needs to be down time occasionally.
Tl;dr, Overthrown is okay, but it definitely, definitely needs a bit more focus.
It’s this line that nearly broke me when I first read it. I will not lie. I actually had to sign off early and go to bed. I didn’t sleep for nearly an hour, but I just had to think about that line over and over again. It cut deep and part of me still wishes you hadn’t put it in. I still would have taken your advice to heart without doubt, but that line crushed something inside of me.
To have nearly three years worth of constant work be called merely “okay” by an author I’ve respected ever since I found these forums drove me into a depressed stupor for most of the next day.
But now, I know I just have to prove you wrong. I have to make that line void and meaningless with all my future work. I have to fix my mistakes and refocus. Unfortunately, that means an extensive revision of Chapter 17, but I’ll do it to ensure that it’s a quality chapter.
Thank you for this review, Jax. I’ve wanted a review from someone so highly respected for a long time now, and while parts of it sting, I’m happy I finally got it. I have mistakes, but I’m going to fix them. Eventually, I’ll be at the point where I want to be, but for now, I’ll forge my own path through this jungle of imperfection. I’m going to keep working to be the author I’ve aspired to be for so long.
I appreciate this review more than words can say at the moment. I'm glad that I got it, and despite how it made me feel at first, I am happy that those issues were pointed out.
Knightfall signing off... ;005;
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