• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Pokemon: Neo Genesis (AaMayL/Advanceshipping, PG-13)

GrizzlyB

Confused and Dazed
Another good chapter from you. I'm thinking that Altaïr's mission has something to do with the King's Men, no? Hm... yeah, that did give a lot of insight to how the characters are developing.

I'm tired too, from school and football, so I know how the not-having-energy-thing goes. Hopefully it won't slow down your writing too much... Good luck, fine sir *salutes*
 

Lord Zant

Two jobs. ugh
long black fur that covered most of his boy,

BODY, perhaps?

“Wasn’t Dawn with you?”

Yay! My question!

but now I’m afraid of facing him and loosing, even though he could probably

Losing has only got one "o".

“If I told Ash how I was feeling right now, he would same the exact same thing to me.”

Perhaps, he would SAY... not SAME.

Heh, this one seemed like a bit of filler, except for what seemed to be a hint on the King's Men. That was the name of Shakespeare's acting group, wasn't it?

May has once again failed to find them, despite meeting Altair earlier that day. She must have Dawn's sense of direction.

Some nice Dawn x Altair stuff there, which I now christen "BirdyShipping"! :p (Because Dawn has a Piplup, and you're named after a hawk.)

I do feel bad for Ash, it's never fun to feel like that. Hope he finds comfort, and the reason he doesn't want Dawn crushing on him, soon.

Next...Chap...soon... *Drools, then falls asleep after finally finishing Biology homework*
 
Last edited:

EarthBorn

ConVulATiON
So, interesting character development you've got there. I'm really starting to get used to Altaïr's personality and it's interesting - him (currently) being the only one who knows that May's in the city.
From what I've seen of DP till now, Dawn share's Ash's determination and indomitable spirit - something that you've (kinda) managed to work around with after her growing emotional tangle.

So, I expect that we'll be seeing May soon, if you're not twisting the story around a more curvy path anymore :D.
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
Another good chapter from you. I'm thinking that Altaïr's mission has something to do with the King's Men, no? Hm... yeah, that did give a lot of insight to how the characters are developing.

There is something tied with the King's men and Altaïr, but of course, with me being the writer, there's something bigger going on.

Glad to see I did an ok job with the characters.

I'm tired too, from school and football, so I know how the not-having-energy-thing goes. Hopefully it won't slow down your writing too much... Good luck, fine sir *salutes*

Heh,my school hasn't even started yet... Hope I can manage to keep on writing even after that starts.

Semper fi. *Salute*

Heh, this one seemed like a bit of filler, except for what seemed to be a hint on the King's Men. That was the name of Shakespeare's acting group, wasn't it?

Perhaps all that character insight stuff was a big filler-ish, but I couldn't just have them practice, eat dinner, then go to sleep. Yeah, I think his acting group was called that, or something like that. (Which I should know, I just studied Shakespeare last year...)

May has once again failed to find them, despite meeting Altair earlier that day. She must have Dawn's sense of direction.

If you remember from chapter 8, she doesn't want to find Ash and the gang right now.

Some nice Dawn x Altair stuff there, which I now christen "BirdyShipping"! (Because Dawn has a Piplup, and you're named after a hawk.)

Yes I did notice that what happened here kind of ships them together. Who knows what will happen between the two in the future, and what of Dawn x Ash's relationship. (Also Altaïr mean's 'the flyer' in greek.)

I do feel bad for Ash, it's never fun to feel like that. Hope he finds comfort, and the reason he doesn't want Dawn crushing on him, soon.

I just thought it would be typical of him to feel like that, as he's one of those types. (Dunno how to explain it.)

And I think he knows why, it's just that he sometimes has problems saying things. =P Or maybe he just vaguely knows why.

So, interesting character development you've got there. I'm really starting to get used to Altaïr's personality and it's interesting - him (currently) being the only one who knows that May's in the city.
From what I've seen of DP till now, Dawn share's Ash's determination and indomitable spirit - something that you've (kinda) managed to work around with after her growing emotional tangle.

Well, sometimes even Ash's spirit goes in the mud, especially after a big defeat at a league or something. Oh don't think that Ash forgot so easily about his little loss against Altaïr. We haven't dug into his mind yet have we?

So, I expect that we'll be seeing May soon, if you're not twisting the story around a more curvy path anymore .

Oh believe me, there will be some pretty big twists later. But as of now, the contest is looming closer, and a couple of things will happen between now and then.
 

swampert55

Well-Known Member
Why am I always last?

In a split second, everything in the alley, except Dawn, was frozen solid.
I thought Slugma/Magcargo couldn't be frozen because of Flame Body?

Ash looked at the glowering teenager puzzedly
I don't think that's a word.

turning heads of other people in the vicinity in his direction
From your description of the area, it seems unlikely that there would be other people.
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
I thought Slugma/Magcargo couldn't be frozen because of Flame Body?

I don't think that's a word.

From your description of the area, it seems unlikely that there would be other people.

Damn, you caught some pretty big mistakes on my part! I'll have to find a way to fix them without changing too much...
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
Reporting in.

So it's been a week, and a tough one too. School started on Tuesday so I haven't been able to stay up until say, 3 AM, to write or anything. And cross country has been killer, for me at least, because I have barely a shred of stamina. (I'm a sprinter.) So when I get home on the days I went to practice, I usually found myself falling asleep after I eat for quite a long time. By the time I wake up I have to scurry to finish up my homework. (Which isn't so light anymore because of AP History. At least my other classes don't have homework, yet.)

Also, a day or two ago my laptop, which is my writing workstation, got a whole mess of spyware and a couple viruses. Not very severe stuff, but they caused massive slowdowns on my laptop, making it near impossible to access my files. Scanning my laptop with antivirus stuff right now and hopefully it'll be up and running soon.

So Chapter 10 as of now is barely done, probably less than half done. I apologize for the delay and as soon as my laptop is up and running again I'll get to working on it tonight.

So that's just kind of my update to tell you all I'm still around and stuff.
 
Last edited:
I haven't been here for a while, so I'm going to make a general review.

I can't believe Ash just left Dawn, like that, poor girl ran in to some thugs, but Altair came to save the day! Hah, I really am starting to like AltairXDawn but I'm not so hot on May and Altair.

These chapters amazingly good except for May's part. I liked the story that led her to finding Ash, but wasn't she in love with Ash? Seems pretty strange that she'd change her crushes so easily.

So yeah, that was the only bad part.

And hang in there cichawk, don't let school defeat you! XD
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
I haven't been here for a while, so I'm going to make a general review.

I can't believe Ash just left Dawn, like that, poor girl ran in to some thugs, but Altair came to save the day! Hah, I really am starting to like AltairXDawn but I'm not so hot on May and Altair.

Heh, I guess Ash was just feeling a bit, invaded.

Hm, I'm still thinking whether or not I want to pair Altaïr with anyone. Originally I didn't want to but it seems that some people already have some thoughts about it. Hm, reader service for me?

These chapters amazingly good except for May's part. I liked the story that led her to finding Ash, but wasn't she in love with Ash? Seems pretty strange that she'd change her crushes so easily.

So yeah, that was the only bad part.

Why thank you for the praise. And in my own personal experience, a girl can go from saying "I love you" to saying "I think I like someone else" in less than a day...

And hang in there cichawk, don't let school defeat you! XD

Well that, and me just having to reformat my whole laptop. I could write here on my PC though.

I think I'll get to writing tonight.
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
I'm not dead.

Sorry it's been... many many weeks. As you all could probably have guessed, school started way back when and I've been working like no other since then. My AP History class has been murdering me and my other classes aren't that much better off. The work isn't hard per se, rather it just takes forever to complete. Also, many other things have caught my interest which has made lose motivation in writing for the time being, such as band business, Halo 3, and uh, *cough* you can guess what the last is. Don't worry though, I will continue this fic... sometime in the future, when I'm not as busy and I have time. I really do miss writing it and I'm sorry for leaving you all hanging there.

-CICHawk

P.S. Sorry if anybody got their hopes up by seeing that there was a new post.

P.S.S. pikashipper4eva, I saw your post in the Advanceshipping thread by running a quick search of my username in the forums. Heh, it's cool that you read and like my fic, it's just too bad you can't make any reviews on it. =\
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
Chapter 10 is here... finally. For reasons of my unexpected (though probably expected anyway) absence, read the post before. If I miss any PM's, I apologize, since I lost my list after I reformatted my laptop. Good thing I backed up my chapter archives on a network drive before reformatting though.

-------------------

Foreword

Alright, finally. Again, sorry for the absence, but now I think I'm going to slowly work myself back into action. But anyway, I'm assuming most if not all of my usual readers are quite busy with school and whatnot, so I'm not really expecting much feedback anymore, but I still do enjoy writing. As I said to a certain someone here on the forums once, as long as one person reads and likes your fic, it's worth continuing. (Or did I say something else? I think it's along those lines.)

--------------------

Chapter 10 - Questions


“Well, this has been an interesting night so far.”


The dark figure of Altaïr ambled through the brightly lit streets of Downtown Lightcrown. It was very early in the morning, earlier than anyone would wake up to go to work for, but there were still people on the streets that were enjoying the nightlife. The young trainer made sure to avoid any police officers in case they suspected that he was a minor out on the streets past the curfew that was set for his age group. Reaching his next destination, Altaïr straightened out his fleece jacket and put on a black beanie with the letters “PDI” on the front before walking into the bar that stood before him.

“Looks like I won’t be getting any sleep for a while.”

--------------------

Dawn woke up early once again to get a head start on training, but this time Ash had set up his own alarm to make sure he woke up when she did. He didn’t want anything to happen to her today, especially since it was the day before the big contest. His alarm would be Pikachu, as Ash promised him a large quantity of ketchup if he did the job. Pikachu did, and so Ash woke up with a jolt that morning

“Gee, thanks Pikachu, but you didn’t have to shock me so hard.” Ash rubbed his head and could smell that his clothes were burnt. He walked up to the bathroom door and knocked it.

“I could use that bathroom sometime in the next century Dawn,” the trainer said with slightly annoyed tone.

“I’ll be right out!” called the Dawn’s voice from within.

“Yeah, that’s what you said ten minutes ago.” Ash gave up on waiting by the door and just sat on his bed instead. Brock was still snoring loudly on the top bunk as he had no intention on waking up as early as the other two. Pikachu had decided to catch up on what little sleep he had gotten that night after being recruited as Ash’s alarm clock. Ash sighed and lay on the bed, replaying Altaïr’s words from the day before in his head.

“I really do need to be more responsible for the people that I promise to mentor and keep safe. Dawn’s mother trusted me to make sure nothing bad happens to her… but I’ve failed and let her get hurt by a bunch of thugs.”

At the thought of Dawn’s mother entrusting him with taking care of her daughter, his thoughts wandered to another mother, and father, who also trusted him to take care of their daughter, who was not with him today.

“May…”


Saying the coordinator’s name in his head sent a wave of feelings that Ash couldn’t comprehend. His stomach had a tingly feeling to it and his chest felt heavy. Emotions ran through his mind but he couldn’t understand what kind of feelings they were.

“What is this? Why do I feel this way whenever I think of May, or even just say her name?

The trainer then thought of the conversation between him and Brock the day before. Brock had mentioned that Dawn may have a crush on him, but Ash didn’t really believe the breeder’s words. However, this morning, Ash began to recall the events that have happened these past few days, and indeed Dawn had been acting a bit more strangely than usual. Sure she always seemed to be hovering around him quite often, even before they met Altaïr, but after the new trainer’s arrival, she had been even weirder than normal.

“Could she really…?” Ash pulled his hair and gave a moan as the complicated subject was too much for him. “But then… what’s holding me back, like Brock said?”

Ash then remembered the conversation he had two days ago with Brock, about May. He remembered having the same feeling as he did now when he began to mention her, but he did a pretty good job of covering his feelings until the very end, when he began to blush.

However, his thinking was interrupted as Dawn came out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for training. Ash stood up from the bed and made his way through the bathroom door, ready to take off the burning odor that was clinging to him

“A... A shower is what I need.”

--------------------

Half an hour later, Ash, Dawn, and Pikachu were once again ready to hit the road to the training fields to the north of Lightcrown City. Dawn was pumped for another hard day of training as she needed as much as she could get to make up for lost time. Ash and Pikachu were just tired. As they were about to exit the Pokémon Center, the automatic doors in front of them slid open, letting the trainer known as Altaïr in.

“Oh, g’mornin’,” the tall trainer greeted.

“Morning, where have you been?” Ash asked with a hint of suspicion.

“Just out and about.” Altaïr walked into the Pokémon Center at that. It was then that Dawn finally noticed something different about him.

“Hey, Altaïr, nice hat! Where’d you get it from?” Dawn sent a friendly smile in the teenaged boy’s direction but he made no effort to turn around and receive it.

“Oh this? I’ve had it for a while now. Anyway, I’m tired, mind if I crash in your room?” Altaïr said while still walking away.

“Er, sure. It’s room 17.” Ash responded.

With that, Altaïr gave a lazy wave and turned the corner towards the dormitories.

“That was… kinda weird.” Dawn grumbled, as she was somewhat disappointed Altaïr didn’t bother to look at her.

Ash merely shrugged. “Yeah, wonder what’s got him so tired.”

“Pika…”

--------------------

This morning, Dawn decided that she would focus on contest battling, as her appeals were down pretty solid, so Ash agreed to help out with his own Pokémon.

“Alright, let’s not get too worked up, after all, your Pokémon will need their strength for tomorrow,” Ash shouted across the field.

“Right, let’s go!” Dawn grabbed a Pokéball and threw it into the center of the field. “Piplup! I choose you!”

“Aipom! Go!”


The two Pokéballs opened with a flash of light as out of Dawn’s Pokéball appeared her blue penguin Pokémon, Piplup. Out of Ash’s Pokéball, a purple monkey Pokémon with a toothy grin and large round eyes materialized, ready for battle. The most noticeable trait on the monkey Pokémon was her tail; it had a three fingered hand-like appendage on the end, which was the source of many of the Pokémon’s attacks.

“Ai-Ai!” cried Aipom.

“Alright Aipom, let’s start this battle off with a Swift attack! And give it some flair!”

Aipom, who enjoyed contest battles very much and had been in several contests before, had no problem pulling off a stylish Swift attack from her tail that spiraled towards Dawn’s Piplup on the other end of the field.

“Piplup, counter with Bubblebeam, and follow up with Peck attack!”

Hearing the command, Piplup let loose a wave of sparkling bubbles from his beak that charged into the incoming stars. The two attacks collided and nullified one another, giving Piplup the time to charge in through the smoke for a Peck attack.

“Watch out Aipom, dodge it by using your tail!”

Aipom immediately comprehended the order and launched herself into the air by using her tail as a spring. Piplup halted his attack as he watched the Long Tail Pokémon soar into the sky.

“Now’s your chance, hit him with a Focus Punch!”

Aipom gave a cry of exertion while she balled her tail into a glowing, white fist, and made her descent to meet Piplup on the ground. Piplup seemed to freeze in place as the opposing Pokémon neared her.

“Don’t just stand there Piplup! Fire a Bubblebeam while Aipom is still in the air!”

“Pip…” The Penguin Pokémon puffed up his chest to ready the attack. “Luplupluplup!” Piplup then let out a stream of bubbles less sparkly but more powerful than the last as power was more important in this situation.

The bubbles made contact with Aipom’s tail, generating an explosion of energy between the two attacks.
The bright explosion blinded the trainer and the coordinator so they would have to wait for the dust to settle to see who the victor would be.

--------------------

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” yawned a certain breeder as he sat up and stretched his limbs. Brock looked over at the analog clock that hung before the door and rubbed his eyes. He the blinked several times, if it even is possible to see him blink, and stared at the clock once again.

“Yahhh! It’s less than ten minutes from noon, and I need to cook for Ash and Dawn and their Pokémon!”

Not noticing the second human presence in the room, Brock leapt off the top bunk, slamming his head on the ceiling, and sprinted into the bathroom to freshen up. The other person in the room stirred and groggily sat up and looked around the room.

“Ugh… somebody’s noisy…”

Altaïr threw off his covers and grabbed his belongings, and strode out of the room. Right as he shut the door, Brock came running back into the bedroom began packing his belongings and supplies, too.

“Let’s see, rice, check. Hot water boiler, check…” and he continued going through a list of supplies.

-------------------------

The dust began clearing as two figures stood on opposite ends of the battlefield. Both held their breaths as they awaited the results of the colliding attacks. Finally, the dust dissipated and two small Pokémon stood their ground near the center of the field.

“Pip! Pip!” challenged the penguin Pokémon from where he stood.

“Aipom! Ai!” retorted the purple monkey Pokémon.

“Aipom, return!” said a voice from behind Aipom. A confused Aipom turned around and saw her trainer looking at her with a Pokéball ready in his hand. Aipom understood Ash’s order and quickly ran across the field to where he stood.

“Huh?” Dawn said with confusion. “Why are you recalling Aipom?”

“Well, we can train them too hard, or else Piplup won’t have any energy for the contest tomorrow.” Ash explained.

“Mm, I guess you’re right.” Dawn’s demeanor then brightened up. “Let’s get some two on two battles in, since those will be the kinds of battles in the contest tomorrow!”

A strange sound then echoed through the air, and the trainer, coordinator, and Pokémon looked at each other strangely. Then, after several seconds, they burst into laughter as they recognized what the sound was.

“Guess we need some food huh,” said Ash after the laughter subsided.

“Sure do!” giggled Dawn. “I wonder where Brock is… maybe we have to cook ourselves!” she added in mock horror.

“Pi-pika!” Pikachu joined in.

“Hey, who says I can’t be a competent cook,” joked Ash back.

“Actually, how about we go back to town for lunch,” a deep voice sounded.

Ash Pikachu and Dawn turned around and saw Altaïr, who looked as if he had been through a washing machine, as his hair was stick out in every which direction.

“But, what about Brock?” asked Dawn. “Won’t he be looking for us?”

Altaïr shrugged. “Call him; tell him to meet us wherever we end up.”

“Wait a second…” but before Ash could continue, his stomach growled again and he gave in. “Ok let’s go.”

--------------------
After a quick look around Lightcrown, Ash, Dawn, Pikachu, and Altaïr soon found a small sushi shop and began ordering immediately.

“Uh… I’m not so good with sushi, so you guys can order for me if you please. Here’s 10.”

Altaïr handed Ash a bill and went to go sit at a four seat table. Dawn slightly pouted as he left while Ash merely turned his attention back to the menu board.

“Hm, wonder what I should get for him. No Pikachu, there’s no ketchup here. You’ll have to live without it for now.”

Pikachu looked down dejectedly as he cooed “Pika…”

When everything was ordered and the three humans and Pokémon had sat down, they began to dig in.

“Huh, I wonder where Brock is,” pondered Ash. “Didn’t you call him a while ago Dawn?”

“Yeah, it’s not like him to be this late…”

“Well, at least I’m not late anymore,” Brock chimed in as he approached the table.

“What kept you?” asked Altaïr in monotone.

“Uh… stuff…” Brock said sheepishly.

“An Officer Jenny?” teased Dawn.

Brock froze up at that but shook himself out of it in a second and sat down next to Altaïr.

“How did she know?” Altaïr could hear Brock mutter under his breath.

After a couple minutes of silence, Altaïr was the first to speak, which was not a common feat.

“Ash, I need to… converse with you after lunch… privately.”

Ash, Brock, Dawn, and Pikachu looked at Altaïr as if he had just told an obscene joke.

Altaïr ignored their stares and stood up. “I’m done; just meet me outside when you’re done. Pikachu can tag along too, if he pleases.” And with that, he ambled through the restaurant doors and onto the street.

--------------------

“Hey, Altaïr, I’m finished too.”

Altaïr looked up from where he was looking at the ground and began to walk away from where he was leaning on a wall, signaling Ash to follow. Ash obeyed hesitantly.

For about half a block, Ash walked slightly behind Altaïr in silence, until Altaïr slowed his own pace and moved directly next to Ash. They walked silently for several more moments and Ash began to feel uncomfortable. As he was about to speak, Altaïr finally said his first words.

“So… uh…”

Ash stumbled slightly at his anti-climatic opener to whatever he wanted to say.

“Ugh, I’ll just do it.
So uh, Ash, have you ever had any… interests in your life? Besides Pokémon?” Altaïr quickly added.

Ash whirled his head around and gazed at the taller boy with confusion. “Um… what do you mean?”

“Like… interests in other people?”

“What do you mean my interests?”

Altaïr rolled his eyes slightly. “Yeah he is as dense as he looks.”

“Girls.” Altaïr stated simply

Ash stumbled again as he heard this. After he recovered, he immediately began to babble incoherently.

“I… expected this too I guess… Ok, slow down there. Let’s start over. Have you ever had any female interests before?”

Ash stopped his babbling and formed one comprehensible question in his head.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Why are you being so defensive?”

“Hey, I asked you first!”

“Not really, I asked you if you’ve ever had any female interests before first, remember?”

Ash opened his mouth to retort but realized he would just be outsmarted again. However, he still didn’t trust Altaïr with information of this kind. Actually, Ash didn’t even know what he thought at the moment, so he gave grunt in response.

“Well, I’m not one to push, so if you don’t wanna say anything, meh.” Altaïr said calmly. He waited several seconds for a response before giving up.

“All right, let’s head back to the others,” Altaïr turned around and began walking in the opposite direction they had been walking in.

Ash stood where Altaïr had turned around and stared at the ground, mind working at full pace.

“Do I?”


--------------------

Afterthought

Well, whoever does end up reading this and feels the urge to say or correct something, please do so. I wrote the second half of this chapter in about an hour tonight, so it might be rough here or there. Might be missing italics, capitals, have funny wordings, whatever. It's a school night, and I gotta get sleeping now.

Enjoy, and sorry, once again, for my absence for anyone who was expecting a new chapter a long time ago.

-CICHawk
 
Last edited:

Lord Zant

Two jobs. ugh
As I said to a certain someone here on the forums once, as long as one person reads and likes your fic, it's worth continuing. (Or did I say something else? I think it's along those lines.)

*Whistles and looks away*

ready to take the burning odor that plagued him off.
This sounds a bit clumsy, but it is a personal choice thing. I'd think something like "Ready to remove the burning odor that now clung to him."

He the blinked several times, if it even is possible to see him blink, and stared at the clock once again.
Brock froze up at that but shook himself out of it in a second and sat down next to Altaïr.

“How did she know?” Altaïr could hear Brock mutter under his breath.
Oh, poor Brock. He takes so much abuse here. ;P

Saying the coordinator’s name in his head sent a wave of feelings that Ash couldn’t comprehend. His stomach had a tingly feeling to it and his chest felt heavy. Emotions ran through his mind but he couldn’t understand what kind of feelings they were.

That paragraph is one nice piece of work. I really liked your descriptions, (they were very true) but they were believably Ash-like. good job there.

All in all, I really liked the chapter. One of your best so far, even though the plot here was a bit weak.

You got a fan in me.
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
Why, hello! Didn't know you would be back on so quickly Lord Zant. =)

This sounds a bit clumsy, but it is a personal choice thing. I'd think something like "Ready to remove the burning odor that now clung to him."

Yeah I didn't quite read over the part I wrote before last night, so things might be a bit off there. I'll look into that.

Oh, poor Brock. He takes so much abuse here. ;P

Haha I just wanted to give him some lines and have him do something silly since he's not really that important in the plot here so far.

That paragraph is one nice piece of work. I really liked your descriptions, (they were very true) but they were believably Ash-like. good job there.

Sometimes I feel as if I overuse that thought/emotion a little bit, or maybe I'm just imagining it since I read over my stuff a couple of times before publishing it here. Oh well, it'll probably be seen again.

All in all, I really liked the chapter. One of your best so far, even though the plot here was a bit weak.

Really? I felt as if I rushed the second half of the chapter I wrote last night a bit. But maybe it had just the right amount of detail without being excessive instead. As for the plot, this chapter is more of a leader into the next chapter, since I didn't want to fit so much in one chapter. More interesting stuff is coming in.

You got a fan in me.

=D
 

EarthBorn

ConVulATiON
Hey, welcome back. :p

The new chapter was kinda entertaining, especially with the last part. I guess the Advanceshippy feeling is starting to grow on Ash's side now. I have a feeling that he'll be meeting May at the Lightcrown Contest, whenever you're ready to reach that part of the story.
I wonder what's up with Altaïr now, his character is one I'm not all that familiar with. All in all, that was a worthy update. Just remember that good art cannot be rushed, and that I'm going to keep following this closely.
 

swampert55

Well-Known Member
Your PM states that chapter 8 has been posted, and I don't think you can triple post, even in your own fic.

The dark figure of Altaïr ambled through the brightly lit streets of Downtown Lightcrown.
I highly doubt that downtown must be capitalized.

“That was… kinda weird.”
You have speech down pretty well, at least better than my attempts...

“Huh?” Dawn said confusedly.
That's the second time you've done that!
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
Hey, welcome back. :p

The new chapter was kinda entertaining, especially with the last part. I guess the Advanceshippy feeling is starting to grow on Ash's side now. I have a feeling that he'll be meeting May at the Lightcrown Contest, whenever you're ready to reach that part of the story.

Mm, perhaps, but knowing me, there are gonna be twists. =O

I wonder what's up with Altaïr now, his character is one I'm not all that familiar with. All in all, that was a worthy update. Just remember that good art cannot be rushed, and that I'm going to keep following this closely.

This fic is really as much about Advanceshipping as it is about Altaïr's origins and a much larger event that is taking place. Circling a fic completely around love and whatnot just isn't my style, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy writing about it in general. This may as well have been in the normal fanfics section, but I did want to have the Advanceshipping element in my fic, which makes it fall into the shipping fics forum.

As for rushing, I guess you're right about that, but let's not ignore the fact that we all get apathetic once in a while, which was probably one of the factors in my absence.

Your PM states that chapter 8 has been posted, and I don't think you can triple post, even in your own fic.

...Oops. Guess copying and pasting isn't the best idea all the time.

I highly doubt that downtown must be capitalized.

Mm, perhaps not. I'll look into that.

You have speech down pretty well, at least better than my attempts...

Well, sometimes I feel that the speech I write in the fic is too much like my own everyday speech, instead of what the characters would really say as if in they were in the anime. Not watching a whole lot of the anime dub is probably a reason for that, but I hope I write it without it being too slang-ish in my own way.

That's the second time you've done that!

...Oops. Gotta get that word out of my system. =P
 

GrizzlyB

Confused and Dazed
Weird, I'm, like, last this time.

There wasn't really much plot-wise to this chapter, except for that Altair is on the prowl. Still, I liked it nonetheless, like all of your chapters. Yay.

I hope you update soon, I suppose. Sounds like you're setting up a bigger chapter next time. There's really not too much to say after all of the other posts...
 
Wow, cichawk, that was very good. I'm not saying this just to compliment you, but I really enjoyed that chapter, more so than the last one(strange, isn't it?) For your chapters it always seems like the more you write, the better it becomes. A chapter is always better than the one that came before it. Sort of like that.

I agree with Lord Zant(since his is the only review I read :D), the feelings you made Ash feel and how he felt it was so very Ash-like. Everyone was in character. I'm happy that he's now starting to watch over Dawn like he was supposed to. And that you didn't make him express his undying love for May(okay, okay, so I'm exaggerating)

All in all, it was a pretty great chapter to read. Thank you for the PMs btw. They help!
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
Huh that was weird, I got an email that I got a reply in this thread and saw that someone requested to be on the PM List. Then I leave here to go read League of Legends by Lord Zant and review it and I come back here and it's gone. (That's a lot of ands) Hm... deleted for spam maybe? Well, I added the requester to the list nonetheless.

Weird, I'm, like, last this time.

There wasn't really much plot-wise to this chapter, except for that Altair is on the prowl. Still, I liked it nonetheless, like all of your chapters. Yay.

I hope you update soon, I suppose. Sounds like you're setting up a bigger chapter next time. There's really not too much to say after all of the other posts...

Yeah a lot of things are just kinda filling in time gaps before the contest day, which I guess is what the current story arc is about now.

Progress is going a little slow... As in I've written a few hundred words so far as opposed to the usual 2500+ I get per chapter. This is planning to be a big chapter too so I dunno how long it'll take. =\

Wow, cichawk, that was very good. I'm not saying this just to compliment you, but I really enjoyed that chapter, more so than the last one(strange, isn't it?) For your chapters it always seems like the more you write, the better it becomes. A chapter is always better than the one that came before it. Sort of like that.

Heh, the chapter before the last chapter was supposed to be a little more angsty and suspenseful. Just felt I had to put something like that in the story to make it more interesting, or else all the characters would do is train for the upcoming contest. I'm the kind of guy that has to fill in every second of the day with some kind of activity, even if it's just a short description like saying "they just trained form then to now." Glad to see you think they're getting better. I always try my hardest to keep them top notch.

I agree with Lord Zant(since his is the only review I read ), the feelings you made Ash feel and how he felt it was so very Ash-like. Everyone was in character. I'm happy that he's now starting to watch over Dawn like he was supposed to. And that you didn't make him express his undying love for May(okay, okay, so I'm exaggerating)

All in all, it was a pretty great chapter to read. Thank you for the PMs btw. They help!

And once again, glad to see I'm still hitting characters on the spot. Watching over people is something I do a lot in my personal life so I guess I felt that I should integrate some of that into this story. Plus it was just logical for Ash to be more responsible for Dawn. I'll just save his love for May is still hazy. I am in no rush to present a ship before a storyline.
 

cichawk

<-- It looks SILLY
I'm back.

And I can't find my thread on the index for some reason. Oh well at least I can still access it from search.

--------------------

Foreword

Ok, so viewer discretion is somewhat advised here, as there will be some detailed violence in this chapter. However, I tried to keep it as PG-13 as I could.

Now if I could somehow make the 'fight scene' into animation, I would definitely use something like Start Something by Lost Prophets as the background music. (Couldn't find a normal video with just the song, so the Matrix will have to do) Yes I like to imagine my fic as something with moving pictures; it lets me create some scenes more easily and give it the proper details.

Anyway, enjoy.

--------------------

Chapter 11 - Silver​


After lunch at the sushi shop, Ash, Dawn, and Brock returned to the training fields to resume Dawn’s training while Altaïr wandered off on his own. The words of the older teenager lingered in Ash’s mind and distracted him from the training.

“Hey Ash, if you don’t act now, Pikachu is gonna be the one with that dazed look you have on his face.”

Ash shook his head quickly and saw the action that was taking place, and quickly yelled out orders to his Pokémon.

“Staravia, blow Buizel away from Pikachu with a Whirlwind, and follow up with Thunderbolt Pikachu!”

Dawn however, commanded her second Pokémon to go on the offensive. “Buneary, use Bounce on Staravia!”

Both teams followed through on their orders without hesitation. Buneary leapt up with grace towards Staravia in the air but the Starling Pokémon outmaneuvered her and she fell back onto the earth. Staravia then began to use his wings to create a gale that was aimed at a charging Buizel. Buizel was taken out of his Aqua Jet and thrown back by the strong winds, while Pikachu worked himself back onto his feet and began to charge one last attack with all his strength.

“Alright! I think this battle is over now,” announced Brock from the sidelines.

Ash and Dawn both looked at him with surprise on their faces.

“Brock, I could have countered Pikachu’s attack with Buneary, you know,” Dawn rebuked.

“I don’t want to risk it, Dawn. As I am the referee of this practice match, it is my responsibility to make sure the Pokémon don’t receive any unnecessary damage. If that Thunderbolt hit Buizel while he was in that condition, he may have been out of action for the contest tomorrow,” Brock explained.

Dawn resigned and sighed. “I guess you’re right Brock.”

“Don’t sweat it Dawn, you fought a great battle. I think you’ll be ready for the contest tomorrow,” smiled Ash.

Dawn turned a light shade of pink at the remark, though it remained unnoticed by the two males.

“You-You really think so, Ash?” she asked shyly.

“Of course, you’re a great coordinator, Dawn! Why, I bet you could beat everybody, even that Altaïr,” Ash said confidently while pumping a fist into the air.

Dawn giggled softly and approached Ash slowly, he not noticing as he was staring at the sky. As Dawn came closer, she hesitated slightly, then finally wrapped her arms around his back and gave him a small hug. Ash felt her arms around him and looked back down with a slightly shocked expression, but calmed down slightly after he processed what was taking place. He brought his arms up as well and gave her a small hug back, blushing heavily at the same time. An eternity seemed to past until the two grasped what they were doing, and broke apart quickly.

“Thanks for um… believing in me… Ash,” Dawn whispered softly.

“Er… um… no problem... Dawn,” Ash replied with a whisper as well.

“Wow, he’s not babbling like an idiot this time,”
Brock mused.

--------------------

More hard hours of training passed before the trainer and coordinator realized their hunger, and so the breeder then began to cook up dinner right on the training field so they could resume training after. Deep in the city, another coordinator and trainer were heading to the same destination.

Altaïr strolled slowly on the busy sidewalk, taking in the sights of the beautiful city. The day was beginning to fade away as evening approached, and the sky gleamed orange. He breathed in the air, smelling the fumes and exhaust in it, and cleared his throat. As he neared an intersection, he looked up at the street signs, which read 1st Avenue and Thompson Street, confirming that he was heading in the right direction. The trainer walked another half a block until he finally made out the words ‘Spotlight Café’ in the distance, and made his way to the building the neon words hung over while flicking his long messy hair off his face.

“I need a haircut,” concluded Altaïr.

He reached the pair of glass doors and stared blankly at them, before shaking himself back into reality and pushing the two doors open.

Inside, the air was filled with smells of food and low murmurs of conversing patrons. Altaïr glanced around the interior for the person he was to meet, but unable to spot her, he walked over to a wooden bench in a corner and sat down. He stared tiredly out the window to his side and pondered what he was to do later that night.

-------------------

“Oh no, I’m late! I hope he’s not mad for making him wait this long.”


A red bandanna-wearing girl ran down the sidewalk while checking her PokéNav every few seconds. Her long brunette hair flailed behind her as she made her way through the busy crowd while her heart beat wildly in her chest.

“I knew I shouldn’t have trained so far away from the cit-,”

THUD

Not looking where she was going, the brunette bounced off the body of a large burly man standing in the center of the sidewalk and tumbled backwards. Another man, this one without a shirt and having tattoos on his entire body, peered around the larger man and raised an eyebrow. However, before either of the men could say anything, the girl had already gotten back on her feet and began to run again while yelling a “Sorry!” backwards.

Another minute of running passed until the girl finally reached her destination. She charged through the door, causing a scene, and looked around frantically until she caught sight of the person she was to meet sitting on a bench in the corner.

“Hey, May” greeted Altaïr, giving a look of amusement at her current state, and at his rhyme.

“I am SO sorry that I’m late!” May panted while putting her hands on her knees and bending forward to catch her breath.

Altaïr looked amused. “Late? It’s 6:03,” he said while pointing a clock above the main entrance.

May gave a look of embarrassment, and kept silent.

“Let’s, get a table eh?” suggested the teenaged boy.

The coordinator could only nod while she blushed a slight red, though Altaïr paid no notice.

Altaïr promptly requested a two seat table and soon they were on their way to be seated. They sat down at their table and a slim waiter who looked no older than Altaïr soon came by with a pair of menus. Altaïr and May ordered drinks and after the waiter had left, began to shift through the pages.

A silence befell them as they studied the pages of the menus, and May began to feel a slight uneasiness in the quietness between them. Whenever she tried to open her mouth to say something however, Altaïr would always seem to move right at that moment, making her retreat once again. After what seemed like an eternity, Altaïr finally said his first words to her after their initial encounter.

“I think I’ll have the salmon, how ‘bout you?” he said from behind his menu.

May almost fell over at hearing his insignificant words, and screamed as loud as she could in her head from the frustration. Altaïr noticed her movements and peered around his menu at the estranged coordinator.

“Um, you alright there?”

May dropped a bit of sweat, and feigned a smile while telling him, “I’m alright. I think I’ll just have a salad.”

Altaïr looked slightly annoyed as he questioned, “Why does it seem like the only things girls eat nowadays are salads? Or nothing at all,” he added.

“No, no it’s not like I’m trying to lose weight or anything, I’m just not very hungry!”

In reality, May was famished, and she knew that. Her lie bit her in the back of her mind as she wondered why she was ordering a salad when she in fact was hungry. The obvious answer eluded her.

Altaïr shrugged and put down his menu and glanced around for the waiter. He soon arrived and the trainer and coordinator recited their orders. The waiter promptly took note and walked away to fulfill them.

The two sat across from each other silently for many minutes, with Altaïr talking sips from his non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiri, and May slurping a bit of her orange soda from her straw. May felt the tension of the silence once again, and began to shift uncomfortably in her seat. However, this time Altaïr seemed to have no inclination to say anything, so May began to summon up as much courage as she could to speak first. She did not know what made her so nervous but she knew that she was seeing the tall teenaged boy in a new light. Her cheeks turned a slight pink as she created a short fantasy in her head, but shook it out as she finally thought of something to say.

“So, do you like strawberries?” May’s inner conscience beat her in the head at the small talk she was making.

“Uh, yeah, it’s my favorite fruit…” Altaïr spoke skeptically while raising an eyebrow.

“Huh, what’s up with this girl? What’s with her not asking about Ash first?”


May also was wonder the same thoughts as he, but quickly put her mind back on the conversation at hand.

“Mm, that’s nice. I like strawberries too,” May replied, though in fact, she actually didn’t like strawberries very much since they often were sour whenever she had them.

“That’s… great.” Altaïr said without much enthusiasm, as the gears in his brain were still turning as he speculated about what the coordinator was up to.

The silence settled back in, and the two just sat tensely across each other. Soon, the food arrived and their mouths would have something to do now besides speak. Altaïr ate the rice on the side of his salmon slowly as May carefully munched on her Caesar salad. Finally, Altaïr couldn’t take it anymore and he spoke out assertively.

“Ok, do you want to know about what Ash said, or not? I mean that is what this meeting is for, right?”

May felt as if somebody had stabbed her in the chest as he said the last part. She immediately began to feel guilty as well as she began to realize that she had been avoiding the topic of Ash the entire time so she could have more small talk with Altaïr, and maybe have the possibility of talking about something even deeper…

May put on a sheepish smile and gave a light laugh as she said, “Oh, sorry Altaïr, of course I want to know what Ash said. I just didn’t want to rush you or anything. You can tell me about Ash now if you’d like.”

Altaïr looked at May with a bit of suspicion, but returned to his original demeanor before he had lashed out at her.

“Alright, well, I didn’t really… get a real response from Ash. As soon as I brought up the topic about girls and whether or not he was interested in one, he became very defensive. I’m sorry, but I guess he just doesn’t trust me with knowledge of his personal life, or really just doesn’t have anything to say.” Altaïr shrugged his shoulders and took a sip out of his daiquiri.

“Oh,” was all the coordinator could say. “That’s alright.” However, inside her, the disappointment didn’t seem to affect her significantly. The rest of the evening would go by in silence as the two teenagers felt a new sense of awkwardness between them. Altaïr for his failure to get information, and May for her behavior.

Eventually, the two had finished their meals, and the check was brought by the waiter. May began to search through her fanny pack for her money but Altaïr was one step ahead of her and handed the waiter two twenties and told him to keep the change.

“Wow, what a gentleman…”

“Shall we leave?”

May glanced up at Altaïr who had already stood up, and nodded while standing up as well. The two made for the exit and Altaïr gave his compliments to the manager who was standing by the door as they passed.

Altaïr pushed the two glass doors open with a shove and the dusky evening sky came into view. However, that was not all that was visible to the pair.

About 20 meters from the entrance stood five men, some large and bulky while others slimmer but muscular nonetheless. Two men were identified by Altaïr and May immediately.

“Miss us?” sneered a familiar shirtless man covered in tattoos.

“’Ello there,” said a large burly man, with an air of stupidity in his voice.

Altaïr narrowed his eyes as he took in the full appearance of the two thugs for the first time. He noticed that the shirtless tattooed man sported a mohawk on his head, and wore a pair of black leather pants with chains hanging from the sides. The large burly man was completely bald on the top of his head, and had a shadow of a beard on his round head. He wore a denim jacket ripped at the sleeves with a white undershirt that seemed to barely fit him, with a pair of loose cargo pants to go. He was much taller than the shirtless man, and looked to be stupider as well.

“Your regular brain and muscle.”

“Who are these people, Altaïr? Do you know them?” asked May nervously.

The shirtless man laughed loudly as she spoke. “Who’s this with you this time, kid? You’re second girlfriend?”

May blushed from embarrassment but Altaïr merely stared passively at the five opposing men. He didn’t have an angry look on his face, which slightly irked the shirtless man. Altaïr took note that he probably was the leader of this small band of thugs.

“What do you want?” questioned Altaïr in a chilling voice.

“Oh, nuttin’ much, we just wanted to thank you for what you did to us and our buds yesterday.” The shirtless man gave a sinister grin as he said this.

May glanced at all the men with confusion, and was about question Altaïr about the men again until she noticed what each of the men were holding in their hands.

The three thugs unknown to Altaïr and May wielded a metal baseball bat, crowbar, and heavy chain, and toyed with them threateningly; the burly man carried a large sledgehammer and twirled it with his two hands with ease; and the shirtless man, carried the weapon that May feared the most. He wielded a large 12 inch blade that gleamed menacingly in the street lamps that were beginning to turn on. There was still a bit of sunlight for the conflict that was about to occur. He felt the edge of his blade as he continued.

“So you punkass, how should we do this? Are you gonna run so we can have a fun ‘lil chase? Or are you going to stand here and fight? Oh, and I wouldn’t suggest going for your Pokéballs, ‘cause if you do, you, her, and your Pokémon will be in a battle of real pain.”

Several pedestrians had noticed the confrontation and began to move away. Altaïr merely stared straight ahead and said nothing.

“I’ll also make a deal with you. Stay and fight, and we won’t hurt your ‘lil girly over there when you’re dead… much,” the shirtless man said as he eyed May with smile.

“I don’t make deals with scum like you.”

The shirtless thug began to open his mouth to spit out a retort, but before he knew it, Altaïr had moved with inhuman speed and was already within five meters of him. The leader gave a snarl and brought his blade up to counter the oncoming assault, but with bestial agility, Altaïr had leapt over the man and landed on the thug wielding the baseball bat behind him, knocking him flat on his back.

The baseball wielding man gave a grunt has he hit the ground hard, but wasn’t taken out of the fight. However, Altaïr didn’t plan to stay still in one spot, and had already got off the thug and was already engaging the chain carrying thug with his fists.

May had been stunned as in one second, Altaïr had been standing beside her and in the next, he was in a melee with five armed men. The screams of the pedestrians and onlookers were drowned out by the blood rushing through her brain and the fear grasping her heart.

The man who carried the chain had trouble swinging his lengthy weapon at the teenaged boy as the boy was moving agilely and was striking him relentlessly with his limbs. However, the thug was able to withstand Altaïr’s flurry of punches, though barely, and he backed off after ten seconds of the onslaught.

The man with the baseball bat had brought himself off the ground and attempted to sneak up on Altaïr in order to strike him from the back, but Altaïr detected his presence and quickly gave him a powerful kick to his stomach, sending the man back to the ground.

Altaïr whirled around quickly as he heard a loud shout, and saw the burly man charging him with his sledgehammer raised above his head. Altaïr dived to the side as the thug brought the hammer down onto the cement, creating a crater in the cement. The trainer rolled once and was back onto his feet in a battle ready stance. Four armed men stood in front of him, and Altaïr strategized on how he would take on this feat.

The four men then moved to form a circle around Altaïr. The circle left a space of ten meters between Altaïr and the four thugs in every direction. After several seconds of inactivity, the man with the crowbar made the first move by running into the circle from Altaïr’s right flank and swinging his crowbar. But Altaïr had sensed the attack and crouched down with one leg bent and the other extended out to his side. The goon missed completely as he had swung horizontally, giving Altaïr the opportunity to strike. Altaïr pulled off what looked to be a break-dancing move, as he planted his two hands on the cement and rotated himself 180 degrees, tripping the crowbar wielding man with his extended leg. The man fell backwards and was fearful that a beating was soon to be in effect, but Altaïr had already moved on and pounced from his crouching position at the man with the chain.

The chain wielding goon attempted to swing his chain at Altaïr, but as the chain was about to connect with Altaïr’s side, Altaïr deftly caught the chain with his left hand while still in midair, and proceeded swing his end of the chain back at the man as he landed. The chain made contact with the side of the thug’s head, instantly knocking him out.

The crowbar and baseball bat wielding men then made for Altaïr from behind with weapons raised, while the burly man with the sledgehammer charged from the front. Altaïr identified the attacks from both sides, and performed a move that surprised everybody watching the scene.

The hammer wielding thug reached Altaïr first, and gave a mighty yell as he swung his hammer horizontally with all his might, in an attempt to crush his ribs. The two other men then came within range of Altaïr and began to swing their weapons as well. Altaïr was prepared for the attack, however. Before the hammer came into contact with his body, he jumped straight up with his legs bent. As if it were in slow motion, he then rotated his body sideways until it was completely parallel with the ground. Right as he completed this action, the hammer came across the area that his body had once been, but now because he was airborne and parallel with the swing of the hammer, he stayed unharmed. However, his two assaulters from behind weren’t as lucky. As they missed their attacks, they stumbled forward into Altaïr’s former position, and the crowbar wielding thug took the full brunt of the burly man’s hammer straight into his chest. The thug was thrown sideways into the man with the baseball bat, and both were on the ground in the next second, several meters from where they had originally been. The burly man only looked at the two fallen men dumbly, before he realized what he had just done. He then went into a rage and was about to swing his hammer once again, before Altaïr seemed to materialize from the ground and strike the man from underneath with a swift kick to his groin. The large goon groaned and dropped his hammer before falling onto the ground, incapacitated.

Unnoticed by Altaïr because of the intensity of the fight, the shirtless man had snuck away from the main battle and had been creeping up on May from the dark wall of the café. May, who was still standing near the entrance of the café, was so absorbed in the battle in front of her that she hadn’t noticed the man from the corner of her eye until he was within a few meters from her. As soon as she spotted the man, she let out a scream, only to have her mouth covered by the shirtless thug and a blade pressed up at her throat. Altaïr heard the scream, and turned around to see the leading thug holding May hostage at knife-point. He had only a few seconds to act.

“Don’t think about doing anythin’ kiddo, lest you want this ‘lil cutie to have an ‘accident’,” the shirtless man taunted.
Altaïr wasn’t one to stand around, however, and as the man ended his sentence, he summoned that inhuman speed he seemed to possess and sprinted at the hostage and her captor. Between the shirtless man and Altaïr was a bench, and Altaïr used this to his advantage.

The shirtless thug seemed to become paralyzed as he saw Altaïr approaching him and slightly lost his grip on the blade. Altaïr saw this little action and knew that it was the time to act. Altaïr leapt from the cement onto the bench and proceeded to step onto the back of the bench, where he used the extra height to propel himself even higher. He was now airborne a good two meters in the air and began to descend upon his target. The leading thug was still unable to move out of the pure amazement of Altaïr’s stunt.

A flash then appeared at Altaïr’s left hand, and when he came into range, he brought his left hand onto the shirtless man’s right shoulder, causing him scream out in pain and his arm to go into a spasm, causing his hand to open its grip. The blade left the man’s hand, safely away from May’s throat. May was able to escape from the thug’s left arm that was wrapped around her torso and put a small distance in between them before she turned around and witnessed the final scene.

Altaïr was now behind the shirtless man, standing back to back with him. The shirtless man seemed to have a glazed look on his face while Altaïr stood motionless. As she watched the scene, May could make out a silvery object protruding from the man’s right shoulder. Her focus soon returned and she noticed a red substance coming out of where the silvery object was inserted.

Before May was able to make any hypothesis to what had happened, Altaïr swiftly turned around and grabbed the object that stuck out of the man’s shoulder, and pulled it sideways out of the shoulder, causing a sound that chilled May to the bone. May could now see that the small silvery object was a small pocket knife, drenched in the man’s blood. She could also see the path where Altaïr had brutally pulled it out, and nausea began to overtake her. Altaïr then kicked the shirtless man in the back to the ground, where the man lay motionless, and grabbed May’s hand and led her away from the scene.

Under normal circumstances, May would have been feeling butterflies in her stomach.

--------------------

Afterthought

Well, that's another good month's of work. (Not really)

So, I hope I wrote that fight scene clearly enough for you all to understand. I can imagine exactly what everybody does and whatnot in my own head, but writing it down for others to read is another story. If you need any sort of explanation, don't hesitate to ask. I may even provide some sort of visual aid if I find that I can't explain something specific in words.

Hope you all found the chapter as a whole interesting too. The fight scene was something I've had in my head for a long time. Stay turned. (For like a month =P)

-CICHawk
 
Last edited:
Top