Sorry, but a total lack of effort means I am forced to repost this after many years of it going unseen by the public. Kinda dated, I wrote it in 2002, i'll see if I can change some details in it.. *changes some details*..
ASH
Ash - to the tune of Eninem's Stan
He likes to think that he's a Master, he commands battles like a war,
Fearow flying past his window, he vows to catch them all,
He likes to sit and plan his future, The League, Elite Four and all,
His friends and family pray that it's just a phase.. just a phase
He likes to think that he's a Master, he commands battles like a war,
Fearow flying past his window, he vows to catch them all,
He likes to sit and plan his future, The League, Elite Four and all,
His friends and family pray that it's just a phase.. just a phase
Dear Lance, I sent mail to you but you still aint calling
I left my Poke Gear, Home phone and my Spearow with the letter
I sent two Pidgey's back last week you must not have got 'em
Probably was a problem with the wind factor or somethin'
Sometimes they get blown away if the wind catches 'em
But anyways, Lance, you're Elite, how's it all going?
You beat some tough trainers today, you're team is the bomb
I'm working on my team too - Guess who I lead with? - It's a Pikachu
He's my best fighter, I trained him to look up to you
His Thunder's really powerful now, it can hurt Ground types
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even wear clothes like you do man, all smart and flash
I got tapes of all your battles, I watch them all day and night
The one against Bruno ruled, his team was really crap
Anyways I hope you get this man, mail me back, just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan this is Ash.
He likes to think that he's a Master, he commands battles like a war,
Fearow flying past his window, he vows to catch them all,
He likes to sit and plan his future, The League, Elite Four and all,
His friends and family pray that it's just a phase.. just a phase
Dear Lance, you still aint called or wrote, I hope you have the chance
I ain't mad, I just don't think it's leet you don't answer your fans
If you didn't want to talk after the battle you didn't have to
But you could have singed an autograph for my friend Max
That's my best friend man. He's about 10 year olds
We waited in the blistering Powder Snow for 4 hours and you just said no
That's pretty mean man, you're like his favourite trainer
He wants to be just like you too, I think he loves you more than I do.
I ain't that mad, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Indogo, you said if I write you, you would write back
See, I'm just like you in a way, I never knew my father either
He went off to become a master I think he's really good now
I can relate to what you say before your big fights
So when I've had a hard battle I go home and put 'em on
Cause I don't really have anything else, your message helps when I'm depressed
I even got a Pokedex with your name across the front
Sometimes I even battle myself to see how often I win
It's like adrenaline. The attacks just suddenly rush at me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My team is jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I do Lance... no one does
They don't know what it's like for people like us training up
You gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever loose
Sincerely yours, Ash PS. I may catch a Dratini too
He likes to think that he's a Master, he commands battles like a war,
Fearow flying past his window, he vows to catch them all,
He likes to sit and plan his future, The League, Elite Four and all,
His friends and family pray that it's just a phase.. just a phase
Dear Mr. I'm too good to write or call my fans
This'll be the last package I ever send your way
It's been 12 days and still no word. I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters. I made the Pidgey's fly 'em perfect
So this is my Poke Gear I'm sending you I hope you hear it
I'm on a boat right now, I'm heading for Seafoam
Hey Lance, I drank a pint of Brock's tea, dare me to go further?
You know the song by DJ Mary from 'The Murkrow in the Night'?
About a guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning?
But then didn't? Then Mary saw it all then at her show they found him?
That's kinda how it is. You could have rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late. I'm getting closer to the caves.. they're closin' in
All I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I burned all your battle tapes and all
I love you Lance. We could have been together. Think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Lance (Pika!!) shut up rat, I'm trying to talk
Hey Lance, that's my Pikachu screamin' from it's ball
But I didn't kill it or nothing, I just locked the pokeball.
See I aint like you
Cause if it thunder-shocks me then my pokegear'll be fried too
Well I gotta go, I'm getting close to Articuno now
Oh hell, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
{Screeching Articuno, crashing sounds, boat sinks into the water}
He likes to think that he's a Master, he commands battles like a war,
Fearow flying past his window, he vows to catch them all,
He likes to sit and plan his future, The League, Elite Four and all,
His friends and family pray that it's just a phase.. just a phase
Dear Ash, I meant to write to you sooner, but I've been battling
You said you have a Pikachu, so he's not going to evolve is he?
Look, I'm really flattered that you like my team
And here's an autograph for you friend Max, it's written on your League cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the arena, I must have missed you
Don't think I did that intentionally just you annoy you
But what's that you say you like to battle with pokemon too?
I say that's just stupid boy, nobodies that strong not even you.
You've got some issues Ash, I think you need counseling
To help your mind from breaking when you find out I'm your dad
And what's this nonsense that we should be together
I left your mom for a reason, she didn't want me there.
I really think you and your Pikachu need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat it better
I hope you get to read this letter I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
If you'd relax a little. I'm glad that I inspire you, but Ash
Why are you so mad? Try to understand I do want you to be flash
I just don't want you to do some weird things
I saw this one report on the news a couple of weeks ago that made me sick
A boy was drunk and drove a boat to Seafoam Islands
And he locked his pokemon up, and they were weak and tired
And in the ice they found a Gear but it didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it.. his name was... it was you. Damn.
okemon,Digimon,****amon