pokemon Ryders

[Magical Trevor]

Hi tis is my irst Fan fic ever. Oh and pleae note that my broher spilt water in my computer and it can't do comma's. anyway on with the story (more chapters soon)

CHAPTER 1
Well We join Ash and his friends at the border of hoenn as they wait to discover a new region full of new frends and new fun.

Professor Oak: Well Ash and friends ready for a new journy?
Ash: You bet we are
Professor Oak: I assure you know this region is unlike any other region
Ash: What makes it so special?
Professor Oak: why the is no ground no land
Ash: what do ya mean
Professor Oak: Why I mean te land is up in the sky all the cities and that are all up in the sky
Gang: WHAT!!!
Pikachu: Pika Pikachu
Misty: But professor that's impossible
Professor Oak: not anymore.
Misty: But professor it looks fine from here I can see land
Professor Oak: Oh it may look fine but if you go up close to it you'll look down and see nothing
Ash: wow lets go rigt away then
Professor Oak: Oh not so fast first Imust make sure you all have a pokemon that can hover or fly
Ash: ell i got Tailow
Misty: I have Luvdis
Brock: I have Geodude
Professor Oak: Well off you go then

What will appen next? find out in Chapter 2

 

[MaskedManAbsolkid]

That's chapter 1? Seems more like a summary. Stories, even scripts, have to be a page long on Word. You need to spell better too, some bits I didn't get. Even if you can't do commas, you can copy+paste some.

BTW, ash's Taillow is a swellow.

I'll give you points for originality (having the region in the air), but try to improve.

 

[Timid Kyogre]

*Sigh* Why do I see a lot fics like these right now? People, have you ever read the two stickied threads? Fanfiction Rules and Advice For Aspiring Authors, they are SO magical and amazing! No seriously, they help. They even helped me, ha!

This might be a bit harsh...

Well look, no commas no fics. You NEED the commas, try to fix it and if you can't copy and paste a comma (, there ya go) and save it in a document and then copy and paste it whenever you want to type a comma. That's how much you need it.

It was too short, you need to make it longer. Its a script...But its better if you made it a story. You'll be able to add more description and readers will be able to imagine the whole thing, but if its a comedy fic (Example: PokeTalk! A Pokemon Based Talkshow by Typhlogirl) then it's okay.

Spelling, my eyes! If you're not sure, write on Microsoft Word or use a dictionary.

Look, if you're going to write about a new reigon I'm telling you: NO (For obvious reasons)

If english is not your first language, that is no excuse. English isn't my first language even though I'm American, and I don't have a good accent, but I know how to spell.

Fanfiction Rules and Advice For Aspiring Authors are both stickied, so "I didn't see them." is also not an excuse. The whole story isn't that good either, upside-down region? I don't think so.

~Timid Kyogre

 

[Dragonfree]

Script is not allowed here.

Neither are chapters under a page long.

Please read the rules.