Pokemon The Movie: Ho-oh and The Sacred Flame

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

i'll only post this bit by bit so part 1:

Hundreds of years ago there was a great war.Both Humans and Pokemon fought.The war spread all over the globe.The war waged on for years.Millions;Humans and Pokemon alike died.In the end the world was a giant waste land.The only survivors: Entei,Raikou and Suicune met in the center of the first battle feild.They then offered their life energy to summon the legendary Bird,Ho-Oh.Ho-oh desended from the heavens and sent out a burst of flames.The flames where scattered across the globe.Each flame contained The energy to start new life.From Each Flame rose a new species of Pokemon and a large group of Humans.Making a total of 392 flames.With it's job done,Ho-oh,knowing it couldn't return to the heavens.Sealed itself in a temple located in an unkown region.The region of the Dead..............................

Ash,Brock,May and Max are now on a ferry to Evergrande City,For the Pokemon league.Ash and May are staring out into the ocean while Brock and Max are feeding the pokemon.The pokemon on the deck are:Grovyle,Corphish,torkoal,Pikachu,Swellow,Snorunt,Combusken,Bulbasaur,Beautifly,Skitty,Munchlax,,Ludicolo,Mudkip and Forrestress. It then gets realy Misty around the area.Ash then notices a small rock.And standing on the rock is suicune.Not a normal suicune,This suicune was glowing sky blue.Ash then called out to Brock and Max.But by the time Max and Brock went over to see,Suicune was gone.And strangly So was the rock!!!!!!!! May then stood up straight and went over to see her Pokemon. No body belived Ash.And Ash wasn't even sure he saw what he saw.
A man then runs onto the deck.He is wearing a sailor outfit.He tells everyone to return their pokemon.A cloaked man wearing an iron mask and a cowboy had stands up and refuses to return his pokemon.The sailorm then comments that he has no pokemon.Then a large Dusclops appears.But this isnt a normal dusclops.This dusclops is red! The man then orders a shadow punch.Ash then orders Grovyle to take the hit.Grovyle does so and fires bullet seed at the Dusclops.Dusclops is just barely hurt.Dusclops then sends out a shadow ball.Ash commands Grovyle to dodge.Grovyle does so but the shadow ball hits the ferry.Ash then orders a leaf blade.The masked man then orders Dusclops to counter with shadow ball.Grovyle gets knocked out.Ash returns Grovyle and orders Torkoal to use flamethrower,Torkoal hits Dusclops with imence force.But Dusclops retalliates with hyerbeam.Torkoal is knocked out.Ash then orders Pikachu to use thunderbolt.Pikachu does so but Dusclops used hyperbeam.The attacks collide and explode.Pikachu has little health left.The man then orders Dusclops to use hyper beam.The attack launches.The attack is aiming for Pikachu,Pikachu closes his eyes.


what do ya think so far?

 

[Torkoal Stu]

i'll only post this bit by bit so part 1:

Hundreds of years ago there was a great war.Both Humans and Pokemon fought.The war spread all over the globe.The war waged on for years.Millions;Humans and Pokemon alike died.In the end the world was a giant waste land.The only survivors: Entei,Raikou and Suicune met in the center of the first battle feild.They then offered their life energy to summon the legendary Bird,Ho-Oh.Ho-oh desended from the heavens and sent out a burst of flames.The flames where scattered across the globe.Each flame contained The energy to start new life.From Each Flame rose a new species of Pokemon and a large group of Humans.Making a total of 392 flames.With it's job done,Ho-oh,knowing it couldn't return to the heavens.Sealed itself in a temple located in an unkown region.The region of the Dead..............................

Ash,Brock,May and Max are now on a ferry to Evergrande City,For the Pokemon league.Ash and May are staring out into the ocean while Brock and Max are feeding the pokemon.The pokemon on the deck are:Grovyle,Corphish,torkoal,Pikachu,Swellow,Snorunt,Combusken,Bulbasaur,Beautifly,Skitty,Munchlax,,Ludicolo,Mudkip and Forrestress. It then gets realy Misty around the area.Ash then notices a small rock.And standing on the rock is suicune.Not a normal suicune,This suicune was glowing sky blue.Ash then called out to Brock and Max.But by the time Max and Brock went over to see,Suicune was gone.And strangly So was the rock!!!!!!!! May then stood up straight and went over to see her Pokemon. No body belived Ash.And Ash wasn't even sure he saw what he saw.
A man then runs onto the deck.He is wearing a sailor outfit.He tells everyone to return their pokemon.A cloaked man wearing an iron mask and a cowboy had stands up and refuses to return his pokemon.The sailorm then comments that he has no pokemon.Then a large Dusclops appears.But this isnt a normal dusclops.This dusclops is red! The man then orders a shadow punch.Ash then orders Grovyle to take the hit.Grovyle does so and fires bullet seed at the Dusclops.Dusclops is just barely hurt.Dusclops then sends out a shadow ball.Ash commands Grovyle to dodge.Grovyle does so but the shadow ball hits the ferry.Ash then orders a leaf blade.The masked man then orders Dusclops to counter with shadow ball.Grovyle gets knocked out.Ash returns Grovyle and orders Torkoal to use flamethrower,Torkoal hits Dusclops with imence force.But Dusclops retalliates with hyerbeam.Torkoal is knocked out.Ash then orders Pikachu to use thunderbolt.Pikachu does so but Dusclops used hyperbeam.The attacks collide and explode.Pikachu has little health left.The man then orders Dusclops to use hyper beam.The attack launches.The attack is aiming for Pikachu,Pikachu closes his eyes.


what do ya think so far?

Ok a few things! This is what it should be like!


Hundreds of years ago there was a great war. Both Humans and Pokemon fought. The war spread all over the globe. The war waged on for years. Millions; Humans and Pokemon alike died .In the end the world was a giant waste land .The only survivors: Entei, Raikou and Suicune met in the center of the first battle feild. They then offered their life energy to summon the legendary Bird, Ho-Oh. Ho-oh desended from the heavens and sent out a burst of flames. The flames where scattered across the globe. Each flame contained The energy to start new life. From Each Flame rose a new species of Pokemon and a large group of Humans. Making a total of 392 flames. With it's job done, Ho-oh, knowing it couldn't return to the heavens. Sealed itself in a temple located in an unkown region. The region of the Dead..............................

Ash,Brock,May and Max are now on a ferry to Evergrande City, for the Pokemon league. Ash and May are staring out into the ocean while Brock and Max are feeding the pokemon.The pokemon on the deck are: Grovyle, Corphish, Torkoal, Pikachu, Swellow, Snorunt, Combusken, Bulbasaur, Beautifly, Skitty, Munchlax, Ludicolo, Mudkip and Forrestress. It then gets realy Misty around the area. Ash then notices a small rock and standing on the rock is Suicune. Not a normal suicune, this Suicune was glowing sky blue. Ash then called out to Brock and Max. But by the time Max and Brock went over to see, Suicune was gone and strangly so was the rock!!!!!!!! May then stood up straight and went over to see her Pokemon. No body belived Ash and Ash wasn't even sure he saw what he saw.
A man then runs onto the deck. He is wearing a sailor outfit. He tells everyone to return their pokemon. A cloaked man wearing an iron mask and a cowboy had stands up and refuses to return his pokemon. The sailorm then comments that he has no pokemon. Then a large Dusclops appears. But this isnt a normal dusclops. This dusclops is red! The man then orders a shadow punch. Ash then orders Grovyle to take the hit. Grovyle does so and fires bullet seed at the Dusclops. Dusclops is just barely hurt.Dusclops then sends out a shadow ball. Ash commands Grovyle to dodge. Grovyle does so but the shadow ball hits the ferry .Ash then orders a leaf blade. The masked man then orders Dusclops to counter with shadow ball. Grovyle gets knocked out. Ash returns Grovyle and orders Torkoal to use flamethrower, Torkoal hits Dusclops with imence force. But Dusclops retalliates with hyer beam. Torkoal was knocked out. Ash then orders Pikachu to use thunderbolt. Pikachu does so but Dusclops used hyper beam. The attacks collide and explode. Pikachu has little health left. The man then orders Dusclops to use hyper beam. The attack launches. The attack is aiming for Pikachu, Pikachu closes his eyes.

See the difference?

1)Capital letters in name.
2)Gaps after punctuation. Like this,now but you should do this, see?
3)A bit more description.

But I like it manily due to Torkoal being in it! But 7/10! But I will post a better review when you add more! K|?

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

well....... I did start it ages ago and i do have a punctuation problem......But thanks for your reveiw! btw do u like the shiny dusclops?

heres more:

Pikachu then opens his eyes to see Combusken in the way of the beam.Ash then looks next to him to see May.May orders a flamethrower.Combusken uses flamethrower.May then tells Ash to order Pikachu to run away.Ash does so.Pikachu runs to Ash.the attacks then collide causing a huge explosion.The ferry is then torn in half! Ash,May,the masked man and Dusclops on one half and Brock,Max and the sailor on the other,the two halves then float away in opposite directions.

Meanwhile,Jessie,James and Meowth are underwater in the magikarp sub.Jessie is looking up the parascope looking for Ash.James and meowth keep on commenting that they're hungry.Jessie is getting annoyed.Jessie then turns her head around to tell them to shut up.Then the sub hits something.Jessie looks up the parascope to see a hord of gyrados charging up hyper beam.They then fire the beams.Team rocket are launched into the sky.

Ash,May,Dusclops and the man are now washed up on a beach.All of them unconsious.Combusken is realy weak from the water.Ash then wakes up to see Pikachu lying down next to him.Ash then looks behind him to see a huge volcano,sorrounded by a jungle.The man then wakes up and challenges Ash to a pokemon battle.Ash accepts.Sending out Grovyle.The man sends out Dusclops,Stars shine.The man then orders a shadow ball.Grovyle dodges and retaliates with bullet seed.Dusclops is hit but then uses shadow punch.Grovyle is knocked out.Ash then returns grovyle and sends out Snorunt.

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

sorry for double posting but:
Part 3:

Ash orders Blizzard.Snorunt launches the attack.Dusclops retaliates with shadow punch.The attacks collide and explode.Snorunt then uses ice beam.Dusclops is hit hard.May then wakes up.May then notices them battling.May then returns Combusken and sends out Munchlax.May orders an ice punch.Dusclops then retaliates with shadow punch.The man then sends out a salamence.Ash then checks it with his pokedex.Salamence then uses hyperbeam. Munchlax is hit hard.May then orders a rest.Munchlax then falls asleep.May then orders snore.Munchlax then stands up,Still asleep.And snores.Salamence is hit but Dusclops is uneffected.The man then orders a shadow ball and hyper beam.Dusclops charges up a shadow ball,Salamence charges up a hyper beam. The attacks then fire,Ash orders an Ice beam to create a wall to defend.Snorunt does so but the attacks go through.Snorunt and Munchlax are knocked out.Ash and May then return their pokemon.Ash then sends out Torkoal and May sends out Skitty.The man then laughes,Ash orders overheat.Torkoal fires the attack.Then a cloud of mist covers the area.Then a blue glowing beast appears and deflects the hit.Then it roars. A blue aura sorrounds the island.The aura fades.The beast is gone.The pokemon are still there.But May is gone!!.The man,under his breath claims that Suicune has chosen this years sacrifice.Ash then asks The man to tell him more.The man then tells him that every 100 years Each of the three dogs.Entei,Raikou and Suicune sacrifice one living being each,Human or Pokemon to give life force to The great pheonix so it can rise again.For 1 day.And on that day it will shower the globe with good luck,fortune and then will give one person 1 wish.Ash then tells the man that they have to find May fast.Ash then begins to run.but is stopped By Dusclops.The man then tells them that they havent finished their battlle.

Brock and Max are now walking up a huge mountain.Max is tired.They are realy high up.Brock then hears something.A golem then appears.It is angry.Brock then sends out Mudkip and orders water gun.Golem then uses defence curl.Then rollout.Mudkip dodges but golem hits Max! Max falls off the mountain,Screaming.Brock then jumps off with Mudkip.Brock and Max are falling through loads of trees.
a Munchlax is collecting fruit in the middle of the forest.It then calls out.Then a family Of Munchlax come out.All about to eat.The Max falls on the fruit.Then they lick their lips.But then brock falls on the first Munchlax.Then a glow comes from under Brock.Then a giant Snorlax emerges.Brock is then thrown off.Max then tells Brock that he made Munchlax so mad it evolved.The snorlax then turns around to brock and charges a hyper beam.Brock then sends out Ludicolo and orders an icebeam.The attacks collide.Snorlax then orders another hyper beam.The Munchlaxs are circling Max licking their lips.The Munchlax then leep at Max.Then a weird wall of fire sorrounds Max.The fire fades.And Max is gone.Brock now has to face snorlax and five Munchlax's.Brock then sends out Mudkip to help Ludicolo.Brock orders a water gun from mudkip and an ice beam from Ludicolo.The attacks fire.Snorlax then fires hyperbeam.The Munchlax then use body slam.Mudkip and Ludicolo are knocked out.Brock then looks up to see Entei.With Max on it's back.Entei then runs off.Brock returns his pokemon and chases after Entei.

 

[Groudon80]

*spontaneously combusts*

It's called the space bar... and the return key.

I'm not even gonna bother to read that mess, without spaces. My eyes are bad enough.

Luckily for you, you get to test out my new rating scale!

;382; is your rate.

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

I have been using the space bar o.0

oh you mean after full stops! well when ui do that my english teacher yells at me and tells me its wrong 0.o
well ive now edited the rest but putting in spaces:

Ash and the Man are now facing eachother. The man the tells Ash that he is the Unkown Pokemon master,Yami. Ash then sends out Swellow. The man then sends out A Steelix. Ash orders An Aerial Ace.Steelix then uses Iron tail. Swellow is knocked out in one hit. Ash returns Swellow and Sends out Torkoal. Ash orders and Overheat. Torkoal then launches and overheat knocking out Steelix. Yami then returns Steelix and sends out Salamence. Yami orders a dragon rage. Ash orders an iron defence. Torkoal uses iron defence and is uneffected by the dragon rage. Ash then returns Torkoal and sends out Pikachu. Ash orders a thunder. Pikachu launches the attack and knocks out Salamence. Yami then returns Salamence and sends out Dusclops. Stars sparkle from Dusclops. Ash orders a thunder. Dusclops then uses shadow ball. Pikachu is hit hard. Ash then orders a thunderbolt .Dusclops is hit hard as well. Yami orders Dusclops to finish Pikachu off with a shadow punch. Dusclops then leaps at pikachu with it's fist in the facing foreword. Ash then orders a thunder .Pikachu launches a thunder and knocks out Dusclops. Yami then returns his Dusclops then runs off. Ash then goes looking for May.

Team Rocket are now washed up on a beach. A younger Munchlax appears and pokes James. James wakes up and is amazed to see a Munchlax. Jessie then wakes up and tells James that it isn't a normal coloured Munchlax.J ames then looks at it, and it's blue! Meowth then stands up and recalls Ash's Shiny Noctowl and the Red Gyrados. Meowth then tells James that they are very rare. Jessie and james then smirk. They then leap for the Blue Munchlax. Then a snorlax stands infront of the Munchlax. Then the Snorlax uses Hyperbeam. The Munchlax then waves to team rocket as they blast off again.

 

[Icy_Vaporeon]

I'll answer the question in your signature. You either don't use punctuation, or you misuse it. Also, you capitalize where it isn't needed. For that reason, you get a proper thread rating of terrible, and my rating.

With it's job done,Ho-oh,knowing it couldn't return to the heavens.Sealed itself in a temple located in an unkown region.The region of the Dead..............................

Here it is again:

With it's job done, Ho-oh, knowing it couldn't return to the heavens, sealed itself in a temple located in an unkown region.The region of the dead..............................

See the difference?

Your rating: (1=Pidgeot, 1/2=Pidgeotto, 1/4 or below=Pidgey)
O

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

i dont reay see a difference..........but i will try to imporve my puncuation
but your rating was mean

 

[Torkoal Stu]

i dont reay see a difference..........but i will try to imporve my puncuation
but your rating was mean

Well try reading it with out gaps it makes it different. Maybe you should read other fics that are sucessful to see why they are. That might work don't you think?

My rating

;363; ;363; ;296;

two spheals and a makuita! Oh......

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

the only other fanfic ive been reading is Pokemon: Intensity so after i've posted the rest of this i'll make a pokemon series which is still under construction

 

[Groudon80]

If your english teacher tells you typing/writing like thisisrighthenhe/sheisadumbmoronandshouldbefiredrightaway.lol

 

[Elemental Charizam]

If you want people to note how you can improve to help you, they will tell you you're grammar and punctuation is bad. I'm sorry but it is, no one is perfect but this is a long way from it. It does need improving so people aren't distracted by it and can enjoy the fic. Another thing you need is length, at the moment each part is so sahort it breaks the rules, a proper part should be about as big as all three together at least.

So far you're fic has no description, you just say what attacks happen and that thewy meet. You should say where they meet, how big the explosion is, what it looks like, what the attacks look like, what effects they have and so forth. I've re-done a few sentences for you:

"Blizzard attack Snorunt!" ordered Ash.

Snorunt complied, icy blue light emanating from his fluffy body as he charged the attack. Finally he unleased it, a swirling tornado of snow and ice whipping up across the arena, coating everything in a layer of sparkling white. Enraged, Dusclops charged a Shadow Punch, hurling its glowing grey arm at the enemy in a dark blur, knocking him flying backwards.

That's an example BTW, obviously you might write it differently (you should, in fact) but you should have at lewast that level of desctription.

What format are you using anyway? I'm not sure if it's script or story, it just seems like basic notes of what happend; a basic summary. Also, people don't mean to be mean, but we have to be honest.

Rating: :snowlax:

~EC

EDIT: I Acidentally voted this 5 stars when I meant to vote it 1 star. Sorry :O

 

[Groudon80]

I wondered how my rate of 1 star got cancelled out

 

[Jesse GS the II]

It's an interesting premise, but I'd suggest restructuring it. You see, the way it's laid out now is like an episode description, and that gets tedious to read after a while. Add some more dialogue among the characters instead of just describing their actions, and it'll probably be smoother.

Hope this helps!

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

Elemental Charizam you can talk about grammer

well thats the only way i know how to write stuff.....plus i do read Serebii'smove guides alot

yeah i'll try what you said Jesse with later fanfics. since it would be to much of a cuffufle to do it to this one.....

 

[Elemental Charizam]

No, I talk about grammar. Are you implying mine was sub-standard? You are incorrect, all I have there is two typos which I didn't correct as i was tired an had failed to notice.

If that's the only way you know how to write, change it. There is no way you're fic will be a good read for anyone unless you do, and you should re-format it now. What you've written so far is bad, cuffuiffle or not the fic will remain that way unless you do. Wouldn't it be better to have an okay fic than a bad one?

~EC

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

EC in the post before the last post you did use incorrect grammer.....

i tried my ****ing best and that's all it counts, but since no one likes my fan fic anyway i'll just post the rest......


Brock Notices Team rocket blasting off.Brock then looks behind him to see an angry Snorlax chasing after him,Followed by a family of Munchlax.Brock then runs.

Suicune is now inside a room made of crystal.With May lying on a pedastool.Unconsious.Suicune is watching May carefully. Entei then enters with Max on his back.Entei then drops Max on a nearby pedastool.Then a statue of a pheonix glows.

Ash is now near a lake calling for May.A Chinchou then pops up from the water and ducks again.But The Chinchou is wearing May's Bandana!! Ash then jumps in after the chinchou.Ash is swimming rapidly after the chinchou.

Brock is now near the peak of the mountain.He seems to have lost the Laxs.Brock is getting tired.Brock then sits down on a rock.Wondering where Max is.....

Yami is now walking across a desert.Yami is getting thirsty.Yami is no where near water.Yami then sends out Salamence.Yami then gets on salamence and they go in search of water.On a nearby Cliff Raikou is watching Yami.

Ash is now in a lagoon.He seems to have lost Chinchou.Ash then notices May's Bandana on a branch.Ash then climbs up the tree and tries to grab it,but the tree snaps and the bandana falls into some bushes.Ash then goes into the bushes.A burst of flames then erupt from the bushes.Ash comes out comletely black.Then a MMagcargo comes out of the bushes with May's Bandana on.Ash then gets up and runs after the magcargo,until it enters a small crack in a stone wall.As then pears through to see a family of slugma and magcargo.Then flames erupt from the crack.Ash then tries to reach his hand in but the pokemon use body slam on his hand.

Entei and Suicune are now standing next and peering down at the pedistool,watching May and Max lie there.The statue is still glowing.Raikou is now following Salamence and Yami,un aware to yami.Then a bolt of lightning strikes salamence.Salamence then falls into the desert sands.Yami returns his pokemon.Then Raikou lands infront of Yami <i must take you to a sacred place> Yami then relises that Raikou is speaking to him telepaphicly.Raikou then uses thunder.Yami is hit.Yami is weak,but yami then sends out Dusclops,who uses shadow ball.Raikou dodges the attack and uses shock wave.Dusclops then dodges the shock wave.Yami then falls down.Unconsious,Raikou then leaps for yami <you will never take away my master> Raikou hears these words in his head just before he takes a shadowball to the head. Raikou is knocked out.Back in the room of crystal,the statue stops glowing.Entei then notices that raikou has been knocked out,Entei then runs off.Suicune stays to watch over the 'captives'.

Brock is now making his way down the other side of the mountain.Brock is feeling happy he lost the Lax's but sad because he lost max.Brocks Ludicolo then comes out,dancing around.Brock tries to recall it but then it avoids the ball's beam.Ludicolo wont stop dancing.Ludicolo then dances off the clif!! Brock then recalls Ludicolo.Brock then carries to walk back down the mountain.

Back in the lagoon.Ash is lying in a corner being comferted by Pikachu.Ash knows he has to defeat the slugma.Ash then stands up and relises! he has to defeat them in a pokemon battle! Ash then sends out Corphish.Ash then orders it to use bubble beam on the crack.Corphish does so,but flames erupt from the crack.Ash orders a harden.Ash then sends out torkoal and orders it to use flamethrower.Torkoal does so.Pikachu then uses thunderbolt.The Slugma and magcargo are knocked out.Ash then tells Pikachu to sneak in and steal the Bandana.Pikachu then goes in.And comes out with the bandana.Pikachu then hands Ash the bandana.Ash then notices a small opening at the end of the lagoon.Ash returns Torkoal and corpish and enters....

Entei is now on a rock watching Yami.Entei knows Yami taken down Raikou.Entei wanted revenge....
Yami has just woken up and is realy thirsty.Dusclops is trying to help Yami up they then hear a roar.A sandstorm then sorrounds them .Yami looks worried.Then the sandstorm turns into a fire spin.Glowing eyes then stare at yami.Yami gets scared.the Entei walks through the flames.Dusclops tries to defend Yami,but yami is taken away by entei.Entei then grabs raikou as it runs off.Dusclops then goes in search of ash.

Ash is now inside a small chamber.There are now doors or anything.Ash then turns around to get out but the entrance caves in.Ash then runs into the wall in fear.the door then slides open.Pikachu then jumps after ash.Ash is now in the crystal room.Entei and suicune are glaring at Ash.Ash then notices Yami,May and Max on the pedastool.Ash then sends out corphish and grovyle. Entei and suicune then use flamethrower and Hydro pump.Ash orders corphish to use harden and grovyle to use bullet seed.The flames bounce of corhish and the water destroys the seeds and hits grovyle.Grovyle then uses leaf blade.Suicune is hit hard,Suicune then uses mist.Entei then uses fire blast.Corhpish dodges and uses bubblebeam.Entei is hit.May then wakes up.Confused.She then sees Ash battling Suicune and Entei,May then looks at Ash with tears in her eyes. Brock has finnaly gets down the mountain.Brock then notices that he has just seen the whole of the island.Brock then notices a small pathway from one island to another.Brock then runs across the path.


Entei and Suicune then launch a combo attack of flametrower and watergun.Ash orders corphish to use harden and Grovyle to use leaf blade.Corpish and Grovyle do so.Entei then uses bodyslam,knocking out Grovyle,then the combo attack hits corphish,knocking it out.Ash then returns his pokemon and sends out pikachu,Ash is about to thrw a pokeball,when may appears and sends out Munchlax.Ash then looks at May,she then winks at Ash.Ash blushes.Ash then orders a thunder.Suicune is hit real hard.Suicune is knocked out.May orders a body slam on entei.Entei then uses fire blast to push Munchlax off.May then returns munchlax and sends out skitty.May orders blizzard.Ash then orders thunder.Both attacks hit and knock out entei.

Ash and May then go over to Max.But then the pedastool starts to shake.And the statue glows.Then the whole island shakes.

Brock is now on a path in between the islands.The path then begins to shake.Then the mountain on the island Brock was origonally on starts to split.It then smashes,Lava rushes out. Brock then runs to the other island.

The crystal room is glowing red.The statue then falls to the floor and smashes! a yellow beam then flies out of the remains of the statue.It then floats around the room.The beam then forms into a small ball.The ball then sinks through the floor.Ash and May are shocked.Max then wakes up,the room then begins to cave in.Entei,Raikou and Suicune then wake up and mysteriously 'float away'. Ash and May return their pokemon.Ash then grabs May and Max.Then he smashes through the wall of the room,then reliseing it's a long way down,breathes in and jumps.As May and Max scream.

Brock then hears the screams and runs in the direction of the lagoon.Brock is now in the lagoon as Ash,May and Max fall on top of him.They then get up and notice entei entering the temple.They then follow,They then notice a secret door opening.Ash and thhe gang then watch as entei enters,

Entei,Raikou and suicune are now standing in front of a huge wall with carvings of Ho-oh on it.The wall then glows.Then a small hole appears,the three beasts are then sucked into the hole.

Outside the weather is getting realy sunny,too sunny.

In Cerulian City Misty is riding her bicycle back to the gym when she notices that it has got two bright,Misty then rushes home due to the fact that she is baking hot.When she reaches the gym she relises that the gym is just a mirage caused by the heat,Misty is realy in Pallet town!! And she is outside Ash's house.Delia then storms out and greets Misty.The she pushes Misty inside the house.

The temple is now starting to glow.It then closes.Ash and the gang are trapped inside.Then a wall turns around to reveil Skeletons of Entei,raikou and Suicune! and they are angry.They are about to attack The gang when a large noise is heard.Then out of the ground Arrises a flaming bird.Ash scans it with his pokedex.The pokedex then reconises it as Ho-oh.The room is then engulfed in a red aura.They are then teleported outside.The beasts are back to normal,but Ho-oh is circling ahead,Ash and the others then hear a voice inside their head <the deadline has crossed,Ho-oh has not received 3 sacrifices so it will destroy the planet!> Ash is shocked by this! Ash then challenges Ho-oh to a pokemon battle! Entei tells Ash that no one can even stand a chance againts ho-oh. Ash then looks over to the three dogs.Entei nods.Entei,raikou and suicune send out a flamethrower,thunderbolt and a watergun.All of them hit ho-oh,But Ho-oh isnt phased.Ash then sends out All his pokemon.Ash orders them to use there most powerful attacks.Grovyle uses bullet seed.Torkoal uses overheat,pikachu uses thunder,corphish uses hydro pump.Snorunt uses ice beam and sellow uses aerial ace.All attacks hit but ho-oh didnt even feel them.Ho-oh then uses sacred fire.Knocking out all of the pokemon,exept for Pikachu,and the three beasts.Ash returns his pokemon.Ash then tells Entei that he hasnt heard of a dead line.Entei then tells Ash that There is only one day for ho-oh to rise.and if he does not receive the sacrifices by 3pm he will destroy the planet. Ho-h then begins to use a frenzy of sacred fire everywhere,All of the islands then burst into flames.A whirl pool then sorrounds the island.<Seems like the rival has appeared>Entei spreads the telepathic message to everyone.Ash then turns around and asks Entei about the rival.Ash then hears a cry.Then out of the whirl Pool arrises.Lugia! Lugia flys up to Ho-ohs level <you must stop this no ho-oh you have done this for the previous 10 000 years and you have never succeeded and you never will!> Lugia sends this message straight to Ho-oh,Ho-oh gets angered by this and uses Sacred fire.Lugia then uses Aeroblast.The attacks combine,then explode.Lugia then uses another aeroblast.Ho-oh does another sacred fire.The attacks collide and explode again.Lugia then uses wing attack.Ho-oh is pushed down but gets back up and uses flamethrower.Lugia then tells Ash that to calm, ho-oh down you must retreave the Sacred Flame from the shrine.Ash then runs into to the shrine.Entei breaks down the door.they then run in.May,Suicune,Brock and Raikou follow,And so does Max.

Yami then wakes up in a pile of rubble to see lugia and ho-oh fighting.Yami then decides to catch them.Yami then sends out Dusclops.Stars Sparkle as the red Dusclops appears.Yami orders a sychic.Dusclops does so but Lugia knocks Dusclops out in one hit of aeroblast.Yami returns his pokemon.

Ash and co are now in the small room they where i before.The skeleton dogs appear.Entei,raikou and suicune use their attacks to destroy them.They then get sucked through the hole.They are now sorrounded by skeleton pokemon.the beasts then destroy them all.They then progress.But then a skeleton Lugia falls down and uses aeroblast.The three beasts then use their attacks but are hit by an aeroblast.Ash then sends out corphish.Entei then tells Ash to recall his pokemon.Ash does so.The beasts then use their most powerful attacks.The skeleton lugia isnt phased.The dogs tell Ash and the gang to progress while they distract lugia.Ash and co then run.
Ash and the gang are now in a weird shrine room.Ash then walks up to an alter.Ash then notices a smashed egg above him.The egg then falls.A skeleton Ho-oh then rises from the egg.The ho-oh then uses sacred fire.Ash jumps to avoid the attack.Ash then notices a small flame on a platform at the end of the room.Ash rushes over to it.Ash is about to grab it when a skeleton Entei rises from the ground and uses fire blast.Ash avoids the attack,the flames then hit Ho-oh.The skeleton ho-oh turns around and uses sacred fire.The entei gets hit as well as ash and the sacred flame!!! May then calls out for Ash.The flames then fade.Ash is still standing,infront of the sacred flame.But Ash's head is down.Ash then lifts his head up,His eyes are completly red and his arms are wide apart.A weird voice then comes from ash's mouth "By the power of ho-oh i command you to halt!!!!!" then ash's arms move together.the skeleton pokemon then turn into dust.Entei and the other beasts then enter.Ash's eyes turn back to normal then Ash collapses.May runs to Ash and lifts his head up.May then feels Ash's pulse,May then relises that Ash had died due to the force of the flames.May then starts crying,Brock and Max lower their heads in respect,So does Pikachu and the three beasts,Pikachu then raises his head and runs to ash,crying.May then admits that she loved Ash from the first minute they met.Then flashbacks appear of when Ash and May first met.She then comments on that as the time they spent together progressed She grown more keen to him.May then kisses Ash on the lips.Then Ash's eyes start twitching.Ash then wakes up.May then notices this and hugs Ash,Brock then comments that the kiss must have woke him up.Pikachu is over joyed and jumps allover Ash.Entei then grunts.Ash then nods,stands up and picks up the sacred flame.They are then teleported out of the temple.May then hugs Ash and tells him that she will never let him do anythnig like that again.Ash then notices Yami battling Lugia.Ash then gets Lugia's attention and shows him the sacred flame.Lugia tells him to get a fire pokemon to use flamethrower on it.Ash then sends out torkoal and orders a flamethrower.The sacred flame then glows.Lugia then hits Ho-oh with and aero blast.Ho-oh is then sucked into the sacred flame.The sacred flame then glows red .Then a carving of ho-oh appears on it.Ash hands it to Entei.The three dogs then alks off in there own directions.Lugia then dives back into the ocean.Yami then stumbles up to ash and challenges him to a pokemon battle.Yami then falls down.Brock then picks up Yami,Suicune then appears and offers them a lift To Evergrande.Ash accepts.

While riding on suicune May then comfesses to Ash that she loves him.They then passionatly kiss as they go towards the sunset....


Misty finnaly leaves Ash's house and then gets on her bike and runs away. Inside Delia is crying and Mimey is comferting her.Delia then looks up and says that Misty didnt love Ash ash she thought and she made a fool of herself.She then blows into a hanky.

The Lax family are now on Mirage island eating a load of Leichi berries.The small blue munchlax then bites into a leichi berry and evolves into a blue snorlax.
Suicune is now on a cliff in johto.Eusine is chasing after suicune.Suicune then runs away and Eusine follows.
Entei is now on top of mount.Chimney watching down on the world.
Raikou is in the desert where he met Yoshi causing thunderstorms.
Lugia is under the ocean ion the orange islands sleeping.
And ho-oh is in the sacred flame kept in the temple being guarded by thousends of skeleton pokemon.


The End.......



well i'll never post a fanfic on here again

everyone has their own Unique way of writing just look at everyone else's fics! if everyone writed the same the world would be a boring place

 

[yamiiguy]

At least PM me Pokemon: X. I see i was the only one that liked this, so I seen a few spelling mistakes
but who cares the story was great. I like the way you figured out the storyline.

I rate Ho-Oh and the Sacred Flame: 8/10

 

[Kakashi-Sharingan Warrior]

thanks yamiiguy

im still writing Pokemon: X at the mo

it should be done around june/july and when it is i'll PM it to you

at least i have 1 fan!

 

[Elemental Charizam]

No, that isn't all that counts, it still has to be good or it won't be a good fic, people will not like it. Everyone does have their own unique style and that is good, as long as the style produces enjoyable writing. Yours is not, it's bad.

The overall idea is pretty good at least, though I've seen better. Oh, give me a quote of my bad grammar and why it was wrong, because until you do I'll just assume you don't know how to use grammar and that you are incorrect

well i'll never post a fanfic on here again

Basically you're sulking because you can't write well straight away. It takes work for some people. But if you keep up this attitude and don't improve then not posting anything new is no loss to the FF Forums.

~EC