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Pokemon: The Three Kings of the Underworld

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C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
This is my first published fic in a while. It takes on a new perspective as to why Groudon fought Kyogre, and explains the full extent of Legendary Pokemons' power and ability.

Chapter 1 - No beginning, no end
A teenager with a yellow baseball cap and blue eyes lay on his bed. His name was Taylor Gold, the world's best Pokemon trainer. It had been six long years since his last decent battle, against Jack Red, Kanto's best trainer. He yearned for a challenge. He tried to enter new Pokemon League challenges, only to be victorious easily. He started a Pokemon gym, but it brought no profits because of lack of challengers. Wild Pokemon in the Johto region were pathetic, so he couldn't weaken them to catch them and fill his Pokedex. He stared blankly at the info in his bright red Pokedex.

Seen: 190
Owned: 120

To his further disappointment, Prof. Elm, a quirky Pokemon researcher who used to live next door, moved away to research water samples in the Hoenn region with Captain Stern (He had given up hope that a new species of Pokemon would be discovered). As he thought about it all, the phone rang. He absent-mindedly picked up the blue Horsea-shaped receiver his Mom bought him for his room.

A low voice met his dull greeting, "Mr. Gold, we have made a strange discovery in the Hoenn region." It was Professor Birch, a respected Pokemon researcher in the Hoenn region.

"Well," asked Taylor, "What is it?"

The professor replied, "It seems that there is an ancient temple underneath the desert here, possibly containing new species." Taylor jumped at the chance to fill his Pokedex with new species. Surely near the center of the earth wild Pokemon would be stronger from enduring the heat.


Three hours later, Taylor was on the Pokemon League's official jet plane, zooming towards the Hoenn region...
 
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Astinus

Astinus

Well-Known Member
Wild Pokémon don't know of the Leagues, period. Most have no care in the human world. So why would Taylor have problems catching any?

Another problem with Taylor? He's too strong already. You state that he is the "world's best Pokémon trainer." That makes for a boring read. Why would we want to read a story about someone that we know won't be struggling? And he's only a teenager? When other Pokémon League Champions and the Elite members are adults, or even older? And, if I may assume, it took him around three years? Possibly less?

Why would Prof. Elm just move away to Hoenn? I would have thought that if he wanted to know something about the Hoenn Pokémon, he could just contact Prof. Birch... And if he wanted hands-on experience, we know that that's not his style. He's more content to stay in a lab.

Why would the League not call Taylor in for a battle? If he's the "world's best," then why wouldn't they have him be a challenge for the young trainers?

A lot of plot holes curse this fic. Fix them and your lack of description.

-;249-d;-
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
As soon as the title is explained in chapter 3, Taylor will face challenges greater than that of his epic battle with Red in GSC.

I also fixed chapter 1's lack of descriptions.
 
Astinus

Astinus

Well-Known Member
Well, yeah, physical description is nice, but... So is the backstory. Like I said, you began with Taylor as the world's best trainer. Maybe all the backstory shouldn't be in the very first chapter, but I hope that you will put in some later. I want to know why and how Taylor became the best trainer.

At least you didn't have him sit on his butt for six years. That's...better. And at least provides more backstory as to why we should care that he's just lounging around in his room.

Yeah, you fixed the first problem I told you. At least you listened, which makes you more respected in my eyes.

Keep trying, and maybe more people will review, and more people can tell you how your fic is.

-;249-d;-
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Warning! The next chapter is rated U-U for "Uber-Using" for use of Rayquaza
 
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C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Ch. 2

The Pokemon League's private jet gently glided in the sky when, out of the blue, a huge, Green, snakelike Pokemon rammed into the jet and wrapped itself around it. Inside the jet, the plane's intercom blurted out a default message.

"We are entering an emergancy situation," said a calm female voice, "Please remain calm and exit the plane through the emergency exit provided." After this, Taylor wasted no time in strapping on a parachute and grabbing his Pokedex. After jumping out the emergency exit, deploying his parachute and attaching his Pokedex to a safety line, he checked the data:

Seen: 191
Own: 120

Rayquaza, the Sky High Pokémon ;384;
RAYQUAZA is said to have lived for hundreds of millions of years in the earth's ozone layer, above the clouds, almost never descending to the ground. It is said it would only descend to the ground if KYOGRE and GROUDON were to fight. This POKéMON appears to feed on water and particles in the atmosphere.Its flying form looks like a meteor. Its existence had been completely unknown because it lived so high in the sky.

The Rayquaza noticed the mechanical voice of the Pokedex and left the plane to crash into the ocean. Obviosly it was challenging Taylor to a fight. Taylor thought quickly which Pokemon to use. My Pokemon has to be capable of flight and extreme power. I know!

"Go, Dragonite!" Taylor cried, throwing a red and white sphere. The sphere opened and a burst of red energy came out of it. The energy then took form of a dragon-like Pokemon with small wings and a large head. Wasting no time, Taylor commanded an attack.

"Use ice beam!"

Dragonite opened it's mouth, and formed an icy sphere. Out of the sphere came an intense beam of ice, which was aimed at the Rayquaza. The Rayquaza was stricken pretty hard, and flew back to its home.

That battle was too easy. Thought Taylor, enduring the harsh winds at his altitude. His Dragonite swooped down underneath him to fly him the rest of the way. The last stretch to Fallarbor town was easy enough. For some reason, though, Dragonite was really worn out. Taylor entered the Pokemon Center all the same..
 
P

*~Puru-Ryuu~*

|x|Rebirth|x|
Awesome Chapter
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Thank you. I did my best to put detail in the first time. It took a lot of effort to research and phrase the pokedex entry. I tried to keep it from focusing on one game.
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Off topic: Yay!!! I'm back at school!
On topic: At the rate I'm typing at, Ch.3 should be done tomorrow.
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Well, I've got myself a fan, and some constructive critisism. All I need is an insane critic that hates my work, and I'll have gone through the life cycle of my uncle's writing career (He's a science fiction writer).
 
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C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Ch. 3

I've finished the next chapter, but it's mostly dialogue. I've been working hard on it, and I for one am happy with what I did. You'll be really surprised at what Taylor finds.

Taylor went inside the Pokemon Center, only to find on person in there. He had brown eyes, a hardhat, and wore grey jumpsuit. He obviously was not the Pokemon nurse.

“If you’re lookin’ for that nurse, she went to Lavaridge Town, most likely to date that Gym leader again.

“I thought the Lavaridge Gym Leader was a girl.” pondered Taylor absent-mindedly.

“No. Flannery got married and is on a world tour. A substitute ” The man remarked, “Haven’t I seen you in the newspaper?”

“I think so.” said Taylor, showing him his trainer card. The old man’s jaw dropped when he saw the name.

“TAYLOR GOLD!?!” he screamed, “what’re you doin’ in a dump like this?”

“I’m going to be examining an archaeological site later today. A Pokemon attacked me on the way. The Pokedex data doesn’t tell me much. What do you know about This Pokemon?” Taylor asked the old man, showing him his Pokedex entry on Rayquaza.

The old man nearly had a heart attack. “That’s a Rayquaza. It’s a legendary Pokemon that controls all of the atmosphere. It’s said to be one of the three deities that control the balance of nature. I don’t know much about the other two, but the Hoenn League Champions might.

“League champions?” inquired Taylor, “What are their names?”

“Their names are May Maple and Brendan Birch. They live in Littleroot Town on property they inherited from Mrs. Birch and Norman Maple. You battled Brendan for the national final on TV, didn’t you?” The old man said quietly. Memories flooded back into Taylor’s mind. There was a boy three years older than him with a Blaziken and a girl of the same age with a Swampert.

Brendan left after a casual conversation on his Noctowl (His Dragonite was too worn out to fly). He soon located Littleroot Town on his Pokegear. It was a lot bigger than he remembered it. It must be because this is the hometown of two famous people. he thought. After a while, he came to the address the old man told him was Brendan’s house. It seemed vacant. He heard some bustling in the backyard. In there he saw…
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Off topic: I hope thats my gradepoint average.
On topic: The next chapter is going to be very surprising and Uberrific. I'm going for three chapters in a day!
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Ch. 4 (wow I'm working fast)

Chapter 4 is a hint of things to come, and is themed on my uncle's outdoor wedding (the one that writes science fiction).

In the backyard a group of Fighting Pokemon were carrying a bunch of heavy-looking boxes, and in the center of all this, Brendan, now 19, was wearing a tuxedo, doing what looked like reciting wedding vows. He looked up, and to his excitement, saw the world’s best Pokemon trainer covered in dust and a bit of mud.

“Taylor?!?” Brendan asked in shock, “What’re you doing here?” Taylor showed the Pokedex and explained that a Rayquaza attacked him on the plane. He then made it apparent that he wanted to know about the two other deities related to it.

“I only know about Groudon,” said Brendan, “And I’m getting ready for my wedding, but I’ll tell you what I can, on the condition that you be my best man at the wedding in two days.” Taylor agreed.

“Groudon, according to the ancient people of Sootopolis City was the deity that controlled the lithosphere. Its fight with its brother Kyogre created the world. A group of primitive people shared this story as an origin myth, and eventually the story was of epic proportions. The name ‘Groudon’ means in primitive language ‘land demon.’” Brendan explained, “I released Groudon out of greed to be the world’s best Pokemon trainer, and that’s about all I know.” Just then, a humanoid Pokemon with chicken foot-like hands, a tail, and a beak carrying boxes walked by.

“Blaziken?” The Pokemon asked.

“Just put the boxes over there, Blaze.” said Brendan. Taylor got up then.

“Thanks for everything Brendan,” Taylor said, “And who’s the lucky lady?”

“May Maple,” Brendan replied, waving, “Just don’t tell her about the wedding if you meet her. It’s a surprise.”

Taylor walked along a dark alley, looking for a phone booth to call the archaelogy team to inform them that he would have to reschedule going to the desert. As he walked, he didn’t know he was being followed. Taylor was unaware that up on a rooftop, a Manyula (4th Gen. name unknown) was tracing his every move. On a visual scan from a remote computer, a teenager about Taylor’s age with red hair watched.

“If anyone solves the ruins’ mystery, it’ll be me.” a male voice said, evilly.
 
C

Cursed

Heroic Sociopath
Ch. 6 Wow... I'm REALLY working hard.

Edit: Could a MOD change the title of this post to Ch. 5?
Taylor, completely unaware of his follower, kept walking towards the large building known as the Hoenn Pokemon HQ lab. A while later, he entered the huge Pokeball-shaped building only to be stopped by two bulky guards. Taylor simply showed them his trainer card to pass through. He entered a large room cluttered with papers. In the center, a young adult in a stereotypical light blue lab coat. She wore bifocals and was holding a videotape in one hand while writing notes with the other. She looked up at the sound of Taylor’s footsteps.

“Oh! Taylor! Perfect timing!” She said, “I’m looking at these videotapes of your world championship battles, and have found a suggestion for your team. All I need is a tape of your battle with Red to complete my studies.” Taylor thought for a second.

“I always keep the tape of that in my coat pocket.” He said, digging in his enormous pockets. He pulled out a videotape with a ratty, torn label that read, “World Tournament” in scribbled handwriting. Popping it into the VCR, he and May started to watch the battle that led him to stardom.

The stadium roared with excitement as Red, wearing a red (shocking, isn’t it) cap, a black tee-shirt, and blue jeans, triumphed over Lance, a caped dragon Pokemon trainer. After healing their Pokemon, Red and Taylor stood on giant green and red towers.

“This will be a double battle between Taylor Gold of New Bark Town and Red Ketchum of Pallet Town!” Shouted the referee in a blue sweater with a Pokeball on the pocket protector, “The trainers will be allowed six Pokemon on their team. Both trainers are allowed to switch Pokemon during battle. The first trainer to have all of their Pokemon unable to battle or surrender loses. Trainers ready? Begin!”

At that time, Red and Taylor threw their two Pokeballs each into the battlefield, and waited as their Pokemon materialized in the standard red glow…
 
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