Pokemon Unlimited!

[FirePet]

This FanFic is about the new region of Sinnoh or as most people know it as Shino'u.I hope you all enjoy!

Episode Guide
Episode 1-Tyler and his First Pokemon!-Released
Episdoe 2-Tyler's Rival and New Ally!-UnReleased
Episode 3-All That Glitters Isn't Golden!-UnReleased
Episode 4-Odd Pokemon Out!-UnReleased
Episode 5-Arrival In Mino Town!-UnReleased
Episode 6-Tyler Vs Hyouta! Geodude Vs Pochama!-UnReleased
Episode 7-Matt's HQ!-Unreleased​

"Wake up, brother! You're getting your first pokémon today!" a little girl says as she runs around her big brother's room.
"Okay"Tyler say's as he wakes up in.Tyler woke up."Your right sis I am getting my first pokemon today."Tyler say's as he walks to his closet.Tyler puts on a pair of blue baggy jeans,a pair of red and white slip on shoes,a black and white shirt,a dark red hat,and his backpack."Okay now i'm ready"Tyler say's, as he puts on his watch(Poketech).Tyler walks down his stairs to see his mother.
"Tyler now when you get your first pokemon come home so i can see it."Tyler's mom say's.
"Okay"Tyler replies as he runs out the door.

Tyler walks until he reaches Prof.Kanes lab."Hello Tyler"Prof.Kane say's, as he greets Tyler.
"Hi Prof.Kane."Tyler say's ,as he looks around the lab.
"So here are the avalible pokemon."ProfKane say's as his assistant rolls out a cart of three pokemon eating pokefood.
The first one was a green turtle with a small brown shell and a twig with two leaves sticking out of his head."This pokemon here is Naetoru the grass type pokemon. The next pokemon was a penguin with two white dots on it's chest." This pokemon is Pochama the water type pokemon." The next pokemon was a red monkey with a flaming butt and a little squilly thing on top of it's head."Last but not least Hikozaru the fire type pokemon". "now which pokemon do you want?"Prof.Kane ask's.
"I want Hikozau"Tyler answers, as he picks up Hikozaru.
"Okay here goes your pokedex and five pokeballs."Prof.Kane say's as he gives Tyler the items.
"Thanks!"Tyler say's, as he walks out the door.

Tyler walked into his house to be greeted by his mother.
"Hey Tyler so what pokemon did you get?,"Tyler's mom ask's, as she sets down a laundry basket full of clothes.
"Well mom I got a Hikozaru,"Tyler replies.
"Good for you I want you to take these two pokeballs"Tyler's mom say's, as she hands him two small pokeballs.
"Mom what are in these?"Tyler ask's as he puts the pokeballs on his belt slot.
"One of them is a Pochama, and the other one is a Naetoru"Tyler's mom replies.
"Mom where did you get these?"Tyler ask's as he put's two empty pokeballs on the table.
"Well while you kids were in pokemon school I did some breeding,and your sister has hers already but legally there still mine"Tyler's mom say's, as she walks in the nearby laundry room. Tyler's poketeck starts to beep.
"Hey I have a message from Prof.Kane."Tyler say's, as he looks at his watch."It say's
Dear All Pokemon Trainers,
We now allow trainers to carry 10 pokemon instead of six.
-Sincerely all Professors
"WOW I CAN CARRY A TOATAL OF 10 POKEMON"Tyler exclaims, as he puts his two extra pokeballs back on his belt.
"Good! That's great for you honey!"Tyler's mom yell's from the laundry room.
"Well mom I'm off I'll call you when I get to a pokemon center"Tyler yell's as he walks out of his front door and runs until he reaches Route 202.


Tyler walks past a sign that say's Route 202 and underneath it it say's Watch Out For Wild Korinku, Bippa, and Mukkuru.
"Hey you trainer I challenge you to a battle,oh and before we start my names Yuuta" A young boy yell's, as he runs up to Tyler.
"Okay, Go Hikozaru!"Tyler commands. Tyler throws the red and white pokeball into the air as a small monkey appears out of it.
"Alright time to lose, Go Bippa!" Yuuta commands. Yuuta throws a blue and white pokeball into the air as a dark brown beaver with two buck teeth sticking out of his mouth.
"I wonder what Dexter has to say about this pokemon"Tyler say's, as he takes out his pokedex.
"Bippa The Round Mouse Pokemon It's teeth are so strong they can eat through solid steel. When angry or sad it can't stop eating.
"Bippa use Defense Curl then go into Rollout"Yuuta commands. Bippa rolls into a small ball and rolls directly at Hikozaru.
"Hikozaru dodge and use Ember!"Tyler commands. Hikozaru jumps over Bippa and blows small fire balls out of his mouth."Now Hikozaru use Ember again!"Tyler commands. Hikozaru blows out more small fire balls at Bippa from behind knocking it into a nearby tree.

"NOOO Bippa"Yuuta cries. Bippa stands back up."Okay Bippa lets do this!"Yuuta exclaims,
"No matter Hikozaru use Ember one more time!"Tyler commands. Hikozaru lets out flaming bullets of fire again.
"Bippa dodge and use Tackle GO!"Yuuta commands. Bippa moves to the right of the fireballs and throws itself at Hikozaru.
"Hikozaru let's finish this use, use Ember head on!"Tyler commands. Hikozaru jumps over Bippa and releases a strong blast of fire balls, knocking Bippa off balance.
"Now use Tackle Go!"Tyler commands. Hikozaru lunges at Bippa knocking him into another tree, causing it to faint.
"No I lost!"Yuuta cries.
"Don't worry about it Yuuta you almost had me near the end,isn't this your first battle?"Tyler ask's.
"Yeah, but you probably had like a trillion battles"Yuuta say's with dissapointment on his face.
"Actually it was my first battle as well."Tyler say's.
"Well that for the encouragement"Yuuta say's with a smile on his face."Heres something for winning"Yuuta say's as he digs into his bak pocket. Yuuta pulls out a bag with a picture of a Magost Berry."It's a Berry Bag!"Yuuta exclaims, as he give Tyler the bag
"Thanks! Now I can put the berrys I have in here."Tyler say's, as he put's the bag into his backpack.

"Oh yeah there's going to be a battle tournemet soon in Mino Town the winner gets a medal and a surprise pokemon egg."Yuuta say's.
"Oh I'll be there!"Tyler exclaimes.
"See ya there!"Yuuta say's, as he walks off.
"Wow he's a good kid I hope he does well in the tornament."Tyler whispers to himself.
To Be Contiued.....

 

[FirePet]

Episode 2-Tyler's Rival and New Ally!​

"Now Naetoru use RazorLeaf!"Tyler commands
"Neh,Neh!"Naetoru yell's. Naetoru releases sharp blade like leafs at the pokemon.
"Okay Pokeball Go!"Tyler commands. Tyler throws the pokeball at the pokemon.Once,Twice,Ping!
"Alright we did it!"Tyler yell's , as he picks up the pokeball and put's it into one of his belt slots. Tyler walks to a nearby lake. "Okay come on out everyone."Tyler yell's. Tyler throws his pokeballs into the air.
"Hiko!"Hikozaru cries
"Neh,Neh!"Naetoru cries
"Pocha,Pocha!"Pochama cries
"Korin!"Korinku cries
"Well everybody meet your new friend, Korinku!"Tyler says, as he points to Korinku.
"Hiko!"Hikozaru cries in excitement.
"Neh,Neh!"Naetoru cries in excitement.
"Pocha,Pocha!"Pochama cries in excitement. Hikozaru jumps into a nearby tree full of fruit.

"Good Hikozaru throw them down Tyler says, as he opens the Berry Bag. Hikozaru throws down 15-20 berry's and fruit.
"Good work now Naetoru use RazorLeaf on these fruits and berry's."Tyler commands. Naetoru throws sharp blade like leafs at the fruit and vegetables cutting them into small pieces.

"Okay good work Naetoru now Hikozaru use ember on these pieces of wood."Tyler commands. Hikozaru blows small fireballs from his mouth."Good work guys!"Tyler yell's, as he pulls a small pot from his backpack to cook the food."Okay while the foods cooking you guys can eat!"Tyler yell's,as he pulls out four small containers of Fire,Grass,Water,and Electric Type pokemon food. Tyler fills up four small dishes of pokemon food."There guys all set."Tyler says as he stirs the pot of stew.

"Hey there might if I stay for dinner"A young says, as she taps Tyler on his shoulder.
"Sure"Tyler says, as he stands up.The girl was the same height as Tyler she had brown hair with pink streaks in the front,a white scarf, pink boots a pink skirt,and a black and white vest.
"Oh yeah my name's Rose"Rose says.
"Yeah well my name's Tyler, nice to meet you"Tyler says, as he continues to stir the stew.
"Hey why don't you let out your pokemon so they can eat I have plenty of pokemon food for all types.
"Okay come on out Mimiroru,Aipom,and Riishan!"Rose commands.Rose throws three pokeballs into the air.
"Cool I wonder what Dexter have to say about them."Tyler says,as he pulls out his pokedex.

"Mimiroru The Rabbit Pokemon It's ears are so strong they can hear from fifty feet away.They say the when it evolves it's ears grow even bigger."Dexter says. Mimiroru was a small brown pokemon,one ear stood in the air while the other was flat.The top half of it's body was brown while the bottom half was a giant beige cotton ball.

"Aipom The Long Tail Pokemon It uses its tail to hang on to tree branches. It uses its momentum to swing from one branch to another. Aipom was a monkey just like Hikozaru only purple and instead of
having butt of fire at the end of It's tail was a large hand.

"Riishan The Bell Pokemon Before it evolves it get into a group of Riishan and sing a lovely son which only happens at night.When it evolves it follows It's trainer anywhere. Riishan was a small yellow bell with two small twirling scarf's where person would ring a bell.

"Okay so that will be two normals and a psychic"Tyler says, as he digs through his backpack. Tyler pulls out 3 extra dishes and 3 containers of pokemon food.

"Before you wimps eat I challenge you to a double battle"A boy says.
"I never back down from a challenge"Tyler yell's.The boy was the same height as Tyler and Rose he had red spiky hair, a yellow muscle shirt,gray pants and red shoes.
"Okay lets do this"Rose says.

"Alright, Go Sneasel and Scorpi!"The boy commands. Sneasel was a dark blue pokemon with a pink feather like left ear.It had a gold pendent on both it's forehead. Scorpi was a light blue scorpion only bigger. Scorpi had sliver pincers on it's jaws,tail,and hands.The three each stand on the other side of the lake

"Alright,Go Pochama!"Tyler commands.
"Go Aipom"Rose commands.
"Pocha,Pocha!"Pochama cries.
"Aipom!"Aipom cries.
"Okay let's start Pochama use Water gun on Sneasel!"Tyler commands.
"Aipom use Swift!"Rose commands.
"Sneasel use Metal Claw"The boy commands
"Scorpi use Poison-"The boy stops and looks at his dark green poketeck.

"Matt we need you at HQ now!"A voice yell's over the poketeck.
"All right I'm on my way!"Matt says."I guess we'll have to finish this match later"Matt yell's as he runs off.
"Well I guess he had a good-"Tyler stops."THE STEW!"Tyler exclaims, as he runs back to the pot."Oh thank God it's not burned."Tyler says as he takes the pot off the fire.

"Okay dinners ready!"Tyler yell's, as he gives Rose a bowl full of stew and a spoon.
"Thanks!"Rose yell's as she takes a bite out of the stew."This is delicious!!"Rose yell's."Not even my parents make food this good and they're cooks.
"Yeah my mom taught me how to cook"Tyler says, as he rubs the back of his head."Hey where are you from anyway?"Tyler ask's
"Well I'm from Mio City"Rose answers.
"MIO CITY!THAT'S LIKE SIX CITIES FROM THIS FOREST!"Tyler yell's in astonishment.
"Yeah I want to be a famous breeder like my mother."Rose says, as she looks into the sky.
"Yeah well I want to be a famous pokemon trainer."Tyler says."Hey I have a great idea, why don't you travel with me!"Tyler exclaims.
"You'll really let me come along!"Rose yell's.
"Of course I could use the company"Tyler says with a smile on his face.Tyler and Rose talk for a few more hours.
"Well it's getting late and I'm tired"Rose yawns.
"Yeah me two."Tyler says,as he rubs his right eye.
"Well goodnight"Rose says, as she rolls out her pink and purple sleeping bag.
"Yeah I'll see you in the morning"Tyler says, as he rolls out his black and white sleeping bag.The two fall alseep.
To Be Contiued

 

[Psychic]

…Mayhaps reading the Stickies of a forum would do you some good. The Rules and Advice for Aspiring Authors are extremely important, and you shouldn't even bother posting without having read them.

After reading them, you'll see why I am telling you this. It has to do with multiple things, like your crappy grammar, bad conjugation of verbs, lack of spacing or even proper paragraphing, lack of description, your self-insert character (a character who is essentially you put into a story), lack of emotion and personality in all secondary characters and of course breaking a ton of laws in the Pokémon Universe such as being able to carry a whopping TEN Pokémon, gaining ALL THREE starters of a new land (and whose English names we don't even know) and catching a fourth Pokémon within the SECOND CHAPTER ALONE.


Every single thing I mentioned is not only a big no-no in fanfiction, but in actual story writing in general. Like having bad grammar. This can EASILY be fixed if you type on Microsoft Word and got an adult or older sibling to help you out. Also, MS Word will show you when to put spaces in between commas and quotation marks, and if you read the Stickies I mentioned earlier you'll understand that you need to skip a line every time you start a new paragraph.
You would understand that things - people, places and yes, Pokémon too - need to be described. Telling us that Hikozaru is 'a red monkey with a flaming butt and a little squilly thing on top of it's head' tells us close to nothing about what it looks like because well, what does the squiggly thing look like? What color is the rest of its body? How big is it- can I fit it in my pocket or it is the size of an elephant? I honestly remember, so you need to tell me.



Your story itself doesn’t look completely terrible. I’ve seen worse, but I’ve certainly seen better. You really should look around the forums and read a few fics by people like Chibi Pika or Dragonfree, who both have fics that are popular, well-known and sport a high rating.
A big problem not just in your fic, but in a lot of fics, is that the plot is just ‘trainer who is really the author goes on journey, gets traveling companion and meets evil rival’. Those can be pretty boring on their own, so its always interesting to spice it up by making it unique and something people would be interested to read. Making a character based off of you, giving him amazing Pokémon, a friend who will probably get a crush on him and a mean rival who he will defeat every time isn’t enjoyable to read because it’s so overdone and cliché. Those kinds of stories just…aren’t fun to read.


I would go on, but talking to you at this point feels rather useless. Read the Rules and Advice for Aspiring Authors, and then we'll talk some more about improving. If you know what you're doing wrong it will be easier to fix, and reading those threads will help you find where you went wrong. ^^

Just try it out, ok? If you don't want to follow the rules and the advice given to you, then fine. But if you want to continue posting your story around here, it might be best if you do listen.

Good luck,
~Psychic