D
DarkLegacys
Guest
This is my first comic.I got tired of reading great comics and then for them to come to an end.So I decided to make my own.Please tell me whats wrong and what needs improving.Thanks.
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Another journey comic? Egh... Anyway...
LOADS of grammatical mistakes, including things like commas and periods.
This appears to be another bland, boring journey comic. There has to be some kind of twist.
You mixed FL/LG sprites with R/S/E sprites. Don't ever do that, because you can easily tell the difference.
Text under panel, besides the fact that this probably wasn't proofread, there is entirely too much text. For a comic with only two actuall panels, you sure have a lot of text. Try using word bubbles, and shorten your text, also.
Edit: Forgot one... Main characters don't need an introduction, just start your comic right away. Just be sure to actually have the people's names somewhere in the comic. This can hardly qualify as a first episode because nothing happened, just Oak babbling on about something...
Edit number 2: Forgot something else... An unedited character sprite does not count as an entirely new character. And, you didn't give credit for the sprites, that counts as stealing.
LOADS of grammatical mistakes, including things like commas and periods.
This appears to be another bland, boring journey comic. There has to be some kind of twist.
You mixed FL/LG sprites with R/S/E sprites. Don't ever do that, because you can easily tell the difference.
Text under panel, besides the fact that this probably wasn't proofread, there is entirely too much text. For a comic with only two actuall panels, you sure have a lot of text. Try using word bubbles, and shorten your text, also.
Edit: Forgot one... Main characters don't need an introduction, just start your comic right away. Just be sure to actually have the people's names somewhere in the comic. This can hardly qualify as a first episode because nothing happened, just Oak babbling on about something...
Edit number 2: Forgot something else... An unedited character sprite does not count as an entirely new character. And, you didn't give credit for the sprites, that counts as stealing.
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absol attacker
go, my army!
for starters, it would help if they were original trainers, or at least ones that actually looked like quadruplets. next, you should get more bulk into each chapter; you just combined the main character bios with two chapter pannels (and one of them taken up by dialogue). and also what Blues said.
DT, are you into incest or something?
DT, are you into incest or something?
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4 Trainers.
4 Starter Pokemon.
Havn't we seen something similar to all of this before? ;[
Spelling and grammatical errors wern't frequent, but they were noticeable. The way in which the comic is set out, while fine, does interrupt the flow. Make is run from left to right instead of from top to bottom, this way the reading flow will be easier and generally less foreboding. I'm not going to say anything regarding the storyline, because as of yet, it's not really a story. However I have a feeling you might go in the same direction as a lot of other pokemon comics. :/
-Josh
4 Starter Pokemon.
Havn't we seen something similar to all of this before? ;[
Spelling and grammatical errors wern't frequent, but they were noticeable. The way in which the comic is set out, while fine, does interrupt the flow. Make is run from left to right instead of from top to bottom, this way the reading flow will be easier and generally less foreboding. I'm not going to say anything regarding the storyline, because as of yet, it's not really a story. However I have a feeling you might go in the same direction as a lot of other pokemon comics. :/
-Josh