POKIMAN! (Rated PG)

[Seijiro Mafuné]

WHEE! Fun antics! And Pippi won!

 

[Rex Kamex]

Hi, remember me?




Man, my updating is getting worse and worse. I'm really sorry, you guys. With summer coming, I should update more, but...

Anyway, here is Chapter 22.



Well, last time, you recall, Pippi had, once again, beat Harriet due to a fluke. (Wow, five commas in one sentence!) So, it was time for the next battle- Larry VS Gordon. Larry had tried using a Hydro Pump attack on Gordon, only to have it fail on him and get hit by Gordon’s Take Down attack. Afterwards, Gordon began to make fun of Larry’s Australian accent, and he even got the whole audience to tick-tock Larry off by chanting “mate” over and over again. Therefore, Larry snapped, and then this chapter came…


Chapter 22- “The Great Battles of Larry and Megan”


“YOU’RE GOING DOOOOOOOWN, GORDYYYYYYY!”

Larry charged up to Gordon as the audience began laughing at him.

“Can’t catch me, I’m the Golone gingerbread man!” cried Gordon who began to flee from the angry Larry. Gordon picked up speed as he ran around the battlefield, laughing goofily.

Pippi’s eyes rolled around in a circle as he watched the two of them race around and around and around and around and around and around. This reminds me of how I was fleeing from Donny Lizardon at the beginning of our battle, he thought.

Larry’s eyes glowed red as Gordon still continued to not take him seriously. As the two of them continued dashing around and around the field, they started making footprint tracks that they began running back over.

Gordon looked back at Larry and said, “Come on and get me, mate!”

“SHUT UP!” cried Larry in an ear-piercing tone. “TAKE THIS, PUNK MATE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” He opened his mouth and shot a large gush of water out at Gordon. The water hit him dead on, but Gordon turned around and said,

“Didn’t I tell you that that wouldn’t work on me?!”

“IT’LL WORK ON YOU EVENTUALLY, RIGHT?!” Larry roared as they were still running.

“Face it, Lar-Bear!” said the dashing Golone. “I’m tough and enduring! Suck it up, matey!”

“YOU SUCK IT UP!”

“I don’t have anything to suck up!”

“YOU’VE ALREADY SUCKED UP ALL THAT HOT AIR IN YOUR HEAD, MATE! DANG!”

“Well crickey to that!” said Gordon in a sarcastic tone.

“YA’ KNOW,” continued the running Larry, “YOU’RE NEVER GONNA BEAT ME IF YOU KEEP ON RUNNING!”

“Okay then!” said Golone who refrained from running and making those footprints in his footprints. The Laglarge stopped as well. “We’ll fight then.” He turned to the audience. “What do you think of that, everybody?!?!????”

“HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” screamed the entire audience upon hearing those words.

“Put ‘em up, mate!” said Larry. “I’ll make a mess outta ya’!”

“It’s nice to hear you talk in a softer volume!” said the grinning Golone.

“Quit talking smack, punk!” said Larry.

“Look who’s talking, mate!” said the happy Gordon, smiling and waving his finger at him. “It’s amazing how a water Pokemon like you can be so hot headed. I wonder, are there flames or a bunch of water in that place in your head where your brain’s supposed to be?”

“Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh,” chanted the audience as many Pokemon began saying, “He played you,” and, “You got slayed, Laglarge.”

“Ya wanna say that again, mate?!” said Larry.

“Why, you didn’t hear me the first time?” said Gordon. “I thought with those fat ears you could hear everything!”

“You’re an idiot, mate!”

“Your mama.”

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the audience screamed as some of them fell back in laughter. Pippi just gasped.

“And speaking of her,” continued the insulting Golone, “your mama’s so fat, she became the star of Big Momma’s House 3!”

“OOOOOHOOOOHOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the audience roared. Pokemon began whistling and spitting juice out of their mouths from their laughter. Some laughed so hard that they cried.

“And your mama’s so stupid,” Gordon continued, “went she went to go get brain surgery, the doctor sent her away and said, ‘We'll give you the brain surgery if you come back with a brain!’”

“Larry, don’t let him talk to you that way!” cried Rex Kamex.

“I hear ya’, mate!” cried Larry back at the turtle. “I’m gonna kick this Golone’s-“

>BOOF<

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuugh!” shouted Larry as he was thrown into the air by the force of Golone’s surprise attack. As Larry was in the sky, he looked down to see a brown rocky boulder that was spinning around. This, my friends, was Gordon’s Rollout attack.

“Daaaaaaaaang!” shouted Donny Lizardon.

“Hahaaaaa!” shouted Digda to Larry. “Now you’ve done it, you fool! You’ll never be able to survive my friend’s Rollout attack; it gets more powerful with every turn!”

With a thud, Larry landed back on the ground. Gordon was still a rolling ball, powering up for his next Rollout attack.

“Watch out, Larry!” cried Pippi. Then he put his hands over his eyes and said, “I can’t watch!”

“You’re gonna have to watch, Pippi,” said Digda. “This is just a sneak preview of what you’re gonna have to face in the next round!”

Pippi uncovered his covered eyes and said, “Are you saying that Larry can’t win?”

“No, but I was implying just that,” said Digda. “After all, he can’t win, and he won’t win, because… well, he can’t win.”

“Sure he will,” Pippi said back. “Larry’s gonna kick that Golone’s-“

>BOOF<

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuugh!” shouted Larry as he was thrown into the air by the force of Golone’s surprise attack.

“Horray for de-ja-vu!” shouted Digda. “Golone got hit by Rollout again!”

And it was true. The bowling ball known as Golone flew into Larry, causing him to fly into the air, yet again.

“As I was saying,” said Pippi, “Larry’s gonna kick that Golone’s-“

>BOOF<

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” Larry cried as Golone collided into him after he landed. To make matters worse, this one hurt more than the second one, which hurt more than the first one! Then again, if you were paying attention, you would’ve remembered Gordon saying how his attack increased power. And, if you were really paying attention, you would’ve remembered that Digda said it, not Gordon. And if you were really really paying attention, you would realize that I should stop babbling about paying attention and focus on the battle. And if you were really really really paying atten-

>gets hit by brick thrown by reader<

…

…

…

>recovers<

Okay, back to the story!

Finally, Larry landed, but Digda was still rolling! After all, he started rolling with laughter when Larry flew up in the sky after getting hit the third time. Oh yeah, and that Golone creature was still rolling too.

“Ready for de-ja-vu 2???” said Digda. “Oh wait… it’s already happened! Ahahahahahaaaaaa!”

“As I was saying, yet again,” said Pippi, “Larry’s gonna-“

“DON’T SAY IT!” shouted Megan the Meganium. “Every time you say it, Larry’s gonna get hit!”

“Well how’s my saying that gonna affect the battle?” Pippi asked her.

“It’s kind of a running gag of irony and repetition type of thing that is written in this story as a last-ditch effort to entertain the audience,” Ursa explained in his calm, serious, formal voice.

“Go get ‘em, you lovable Laglarge, you!” Megan cried.

“Wait,” said Ursa. “Not that I have anything against him, but what exactly is special about him, anyway?”

The Meganium shrugged. “I don’t know,” she confessed to the tall bear named Ursa. “I guess I just like alliteration.”

“And yet another last-ditch effort to entertain the audience,” said Ursa. “What is that CartoGuy thinking?”

“I’m not sure,” said Megan.

“C’mon, you guys,” said Pippi. “Let’s just forget about that nonsense and focus on your battle!”

“Yeah, you fools,” said Grumpy. “Get over there already!”

“Yeah, what are you waiting for?” the Golone then said.

“WHAT?!” Megan said, turning to the Gordon, who was standing in front of her and the other participants.

“Hey,” said Ursa, “Gordon, exactly what are you doing here? What about your battle?”

Digda sighed, “Uh, while you guys were babbling on about alliteration and junk, Gordon here finished his Rollout attack and beat the nacho cheese out of Larry King Live over there.”

“Nacho cheese?!” Ursa said.

“I like nachos,” said Digda. “Shoot me.”

And it was true. Well, yes, the nacho thing, but also the fact that the battle was indeed over. Everyone looked at Larry Laglarge, the Laglarge that was lying on the battlefield moaning… moaning for help… moaning for love… moaning for someone to smack Gordon for freakin’ beating him!

“Hmm, that explained why the audience cheered and the Barrierd referee said that Larry was unable to battle and that Gordon won,” Megan said, thinking aloud.

“And that explained why I’ve been done crying over Larry’s defeat,” Pippi explained further.

“Okay, I know we didn’t talk that long,” said Ursa, waving his hands in disagreement.

“Time flies when you’re having a random conversation,” Gordon explained, “or doing those Where’s Waldo books. And by the way, I still haven’t found him.”

“FOR THE LAST TIME,” cried the Barrierd referee with a loudspeaker that he got for convenience of the paragraph, “MEGAN MEGANIUM AND URSA THE RINGUMA, GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT!”

“Well,” said Ursa, getting up out of his seat, “I guess it really is time for us to rumble.”

“Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…” the audience chanted.

“Hey, how could you hear me?” said Ursa.

Meanwhile, Rex Kamex and Donny Lizardon rushed down the stairs and over to Larry Laglarge, who was now being carried on a stretcher by other Barrierds.

“Are you okay?” Rex said.

“Don’t you think that’s the stupidest thing you could say to the poor thing?” Lizardon said, criticizing Kamex. “Why, the Pokemon’s on a freaking stretcher, for crying out loud! He lost to his opponent in the Toonamento! Does he look like he’s okay?

“Stop rubbin’ it in, mate…” Larry moaned as he was being carried away.

Meanwhile again, Megan and Ursa made it to the battlefield.

“IN THIS CORNER,” the referee cried, “WEIGHING 221.6 POUNDS, WE HAVE… MEGAN MEGANIUM!!!”

The crowd cheered as Megan bowed. (By the way, I don’t know why the referee keeps saying “corner”, because the two Pokemon participants are on different sides of the battlefield, not corners.)

“AND IN THIS OTHER CORNER,” the referee cried, (Darn you, Barrierd!) “WE HAVE... WEIGHING EXACTLY 277.3 PIECES OF POUND… A RINGUMA NAMED URSAAAAAA!”

You know the drill, the crowd cheered, and the Ringuma bowed, yadda yadda yadda. Now let’s get onto the battle shall we?

“NOW…” said the referee, “ON YOUR MARKS… GET SET… BEGIN!”

“Well, here we go,” said Ursa, flexing his muscles and getting ready for the battle.

Meanwhile, Megan the Meganium began to kick dirt back with her front legs, alternating with her left leg and her right leg. Her next maneuver was charging up to Ursa because, well, that was her opponent.

“Oh geez,” said Ursa.

Megan made contact with Ursa, but just before she did that Ursa lifted his right hand up and put it in front of the Pokemon’s face, causing her to keep moving but only in place, like she was running on a treadmill.

“Whooooooooaaaaaa!” cried Pippi, who couldn’t help but stay to watch the battle. “That Ringuma is one tough cookie.”

“Which is why he made it to the top eight, you mooo-rooon,” Gordon sarcastically remarked.

“Shut uuuup,” Pippi said in an annoyed tone.

“Then again,” said Digda, “that Megan made it with us, so I doubt she’d go down that easily.”

Well, Megan than grinned as she stopped running in place.

“Mmm?” Ursa said, noticing this.

Suddenly, two brown whip-like vines rose out of the red flower around Megan’s neck and slapped Ursa, forcing him too fall backward and go,

“Oof!”

This whip-like vine attack was called the Vine Whip. Suddenly, Megan Meganium leaped in to the air and landed on the wounded Ursa. This caused her to go Tasmanian devil on him and start beating the bear Pokemon up. She roared and the two of them got into an anime dust cloud. You could easily hear the wihps slashing Ursa from within the cloud of dust and fighting.

“Oooooooooooooooooooh…” the audience chanted in amazement.

“Hang in there, Meganium!” shouted Bana Bana.

“Whooooaaa…” said Pippi.

And so the two Pokemon kept fighting. Meanwhile, Rex Kamex and Donny Lizardon were in the same hospital room that Donny Lizardon was in before. It was this hospital room where Larry Laglarge was resting and sleeping now.

The giant blue turtle sighed. “It’s no use… Digda and his friend are too powerful. And to think Pippi’s gonna fight him next.”

“The Golone?” said Donny. “Meh, I’m sure Pippi can beat him, but c’mon, you sure that this will work? This whole conflict with you and Digda?”

“What do you mean?” asked Rex Kamex.

“Well,” said Donny, “frankly, I really don’t see how this can be solved. I mean, so what if Digda gets beaten by Pippi, or vise versa? Either way, his conflict with you will not be solved. I mean, no matter what happens in the Toonamento, the only way that your conflict with Digda will be solved is if you talk things over with him.”

“He made my buddies and I wear crutches, remember?” Rex complained.

“You’ve told me the story already,” Donny said as he laughed. “You said that Digda said that the reason Digda attacked you was because you were leaking water into his home.”

“It’s just a little water!” said Rex. “I thought you would agree with me!”

“I’m a Fire-type Pokemon!” reminded Donny. “In my book, what you consider to be a little bit of water is the same amount as the water in the Lake of Rage, the famous lake in the region of Johto!”

“And anyway,” said Rex, “you’re the one that’s been telling me to try and get along with Digda, and then in your match with Pippi, you practically tried to kill him!”

“But that was before he was my friend!”

“Regardless!” shouted Rex Kamex. “Why is it okay that you can get all hyper with your opponent yet I can’t beat up Digda?”

“Because if I’m nice in the Toonamento,” said Donny, smiling on the outside but feeling a little bit angry on the inside, “then my opponent would beat me. Isn’t the point of a Pokemon battle to win, especially in a tournament, especially the Toonamento?”

Rex clenched his right fist. “Are you saying that it’s okay to battle wildly in a tournament or official Pokemon battle but not outside of that?”

“Well yeah,” said Donny. “I mean, if you don’t battle in the Toonamento, your opponent will beat you up! And you didn’t participate in the battling section of the Toonamento, so you can’t battle Digda.”

“All battling in the Toonamento will do is take our problems from home inside the stadium!” said Rex. “It’s just an outside conflict taking place in an official tournament!”

Donny thought for a moment. “True… but then again, the audience loves that.”

“So then,” Rex continued, “what do you suppose I do?”

Donny thought again, and then he answered, “Give me the money required for me to make a year-long subscription to Pokemon Battles Illustrated Monthly.”

Rex stared at him, and a dark shadow seemed to appear on his face, between his eyes. (You know how it is in anime cartoons where somebody’s angry and they have that dark shadow in the middle of their face, between their eyes? Yeah, that’s it. Yeah.)

“What?” said Donny. “I like that magazine.”

“HOW WILL THAT HELP ME WITH MY PROBLEM?!” cried Rex.

“Oh, it won’t,” said Donny. “Then again, I suppose I could share it with you.”

Rex growled a little and said in a nice-sounding voice, “Donny… do you want my opinion of what a little bit of water is like?”

Donny looked at him, gulped slowly, and replied, “Nope… not really.”

“Good,” said Rex, aiming the white cannons coming out of his brown shell at Donny, “because I’m about to show you what a lot of water is like!”

Donny’s eyes widened while his pupils shrunk. “Oh dear…”

The chase began.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” shouted Donny as he ran out of the hospital room.

“Come back here!” shouted Rex Kamex as he was running after Donny to jump him, spray him with water, and all that stuff.

… Yeah. You know, you’d think that Donny would fly away from Rex, but…

Anyway, the two of them dashed out of the hospital area. Donny ran back outside to the stadium, hoping that someone would notice Rex chasing him and get him help.

Meanwhile, Ursa and Megan were out of their dust cloud, but they were covered in dust themselves. Both Pokemon were breathing heavily as they were staring each other down. The audience continued watching to see if one of the Pokemon would fall. Suddenly, an exhausted Megan slowly sent her brown Vine Whip vines over to Ursa in an attempt to hit him. When Ursa noticed this, he cringed, and the vines lightly hit him. Megan was too tired to do anymore damage, but she did manage to wrap her vines around his body.

This is bad, thought Ursa, huffing. What do I do?

Suddenly, he noticed Donny Lizardon being chased by Rex Kamex. Megan noticed this as well, and the two Pokemon looked at the other two Pokemon running around. The audience quickly glanced at Rex and Donny and then looked back at the two battlers.

“Hey, they’re back,” said Pippi, “but why are they chasing each other?”

It’s that Kamex, Ursa thought, and that Lizardon! Donny, I believe his name was! And he’s being chased by the Kamex. Donny looks like he needs help! He has made me realize what to do…

Suddenly, Ursa turned to his Meganium, opened his mouth, and spit orange flames out of his mouth. Since Meganium had Ursa tied up to her, her tired body couldn’t undo the vines, so the fire hit her body head on.

“Eyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” she screamed dramatically as the scorching flames flew threw her tired body. “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Megan, the flames stopped coming out of the brown bear Pokemon’s mouth. With swirls in her eyes, the green Pokemon known as the Meganium slowly tipped over until collapsing completely.

“Owww…” she said in a low monotone.

“What Donny Lizardon made me realize,” said Ursa, “was that I could use my fire attack! As a Fire type, he reminded me of that fireball thing that I ate before, so I used it’s powers to unleash a fire attack on Meganium, and since she’s a Grass-type, she was weak to fire. Therefore, I was able to defeat her easily. I was tired anyway.”

“THE WINNER OF THE MATCH,” said the referee, “IS URSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The crowd cheered (of course), and Donny and Rex stopped running to look at Megan.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Pippi cried. “Ursa, that was my new best friend you just defeated!”

“All’s fair in love and war!” reminded Golone.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Pippi asked him in an annoyed tone.

Golone paused and then said, “Um, well… you like your friends, right?”

Pippi glared at him.

“Okay, okay!” Golone said, waving his hands. “I just like saying that saying!”

“Since when?” Digda asked, laughing.

“Since right now,” said the Golone named Gordon.

Pippi got out of his seat and ran to Megan. “I’d better go see how she’s doing!”

Bana Bana also went to Megan as he was going down the stairs of the stadium. He managed to get to her just as Pippi, Rex, and Donny made it to her. “Are you okay, Megan?” he asked her as he finally reached her.

Donny Lizardon sighed. “Must we go over this every time a Pokemon faints, people? Does this Pokemon look like she’s okay?”

With that, some Barrierds carried the Meganium away on a stretcher as well.

“I’m gonna go over to her,” said Bana Bana.

“I’m gonna follow you and then check on Larry,” Rex said.

“You do that,” said Donny, hoping the turtle would forget about their little chase. “I’ll stay right here. I mean, I’ll go back to our seats so nobody will take them.”

“Who would bother to come this late to the Toonamento?” asked Rex.

“It doesn’t matter who comes if they come, right?” said Donny.

“I guess I’ll join you guys,” said Pippi, looking at Rex and Bana Bana. “Just for a brief moment, and then I’ll come back.

And so, Pippi, Rex, and Bana Bana followed Megan the Meganium to her hospital room while Donny stayed behind. Ursa sat down in his seat with Grumpy, Digda, and Gordon. Digda and Grumpy stood up. It was time for their battle.

“AND NOW FOR THE LAST BATTLE OF THE ROUND!” said the Barrierd referee. “DIGDA VS GRUMPY GRUMPIG!”

“Well… this is it,” said Digda. He turned to Grumpy. “I’m gonna give you something to grumble about. My victory!”

“If you’re so confident,” Grumpy responded, “then let’s go then. We’re up.”

Heh, it looks like there’s a pig I’m gonna have to defeat before Pippi, Digda thought as he laughed to himself.

Well, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to stop right there. So, will Digda defeat Grumpy Grumpig? And even if he does, will it be an easy victory? And after that, will Pippi be able to defeat Gordon the Golone? Find out in the next chapter!

(Okay, now to read some of that Pokemon Battles Illustrated that Donny Lizardon was talking about…)



[spoil]IN THE NEXT CHAPTER...

Digda the Digda faces off against Grumpy Grumpig Boopig! Being very grumpy, Grumpy Grumpig doesn't look like he'll surrender soon, or at all, actually. In fact, there's no point in him surrendering since that's against the rules! Oh well, can Digda beat him?

NEXT TIME: Chapter 23- "Digda VS Grumpy"[/spoil]