Pokingmon Hearts - The Outtakes Version

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Pokingmon Hearts - The Outtake Version

Because me and Seijiro were bored…​

This fic is basically a part of our dead fic, Pokingmon Hearts (available for anyone who cares; PM Seijiro for it). Originally, there were going to be many short stories in-between chapters, mostly for fun (although someone was getting way too happy with them…), and not really serious.

Can you blame me for liking to do those things?

Yes.

Oh, drat.

Anyway, since I, unfortunately, lost interest (too bad, actually, the fic was going to be great…), I decided to publish these short stories so that people would die of laughter. They’re scripted, though, so…

Bah. It’s not like it’d kill you to not write in prose for once, kid!

Agreed. Anyway, please enjoy this… by laughing as hard as you can. Seeya!

Don’t forget that it’s F-rated! For being lacklusting!

…is it really?

Dunno. I forgot.

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-​

*Original Version: Post-Prologue*

SCENE: Awakening, on the Eight Tower (with a Clair image)

(It’s dark. The only visible thing is the large tower, and two teenagers who are arguing with a younger boy. The leftmost one, more quiet, is wearing a white shirt and pants, with white sneakers topping it. There’s a silver medallion as well on his neck.)

(The other teen is wearing a mix between white and black clothes, which ended up mixing colors somehow, maybe by an effect of light. Either way, he’s obviously angry at the boy, a cap-wearing youngster with a gold, red, and black setup. There’s a strange device attached to his arm, some sort of mix-up between a watch and a cell phone.)

(For the sake of recognition, subtitles were added while the image was being made in your mind, so that underneath them, respectively, are the names SOUJIRO, SEIJIRO, and JAMIE. Currently, SEIJIRO is holding JAMIE by his shoulders.)

SEIJIRO: Okay, now you’re gonna explain to me once again: (Screaming) WHY DID YOU PUSH THE FREAKIN’ SABLEYE OFF THE TOWER? WE SPENT A WHOLE WONDER-GRO BOTTLE ON HIM!

JAMIE: (Panicking) Sorry! I didn’t mean to! I just pushed him with the stick, and…

SOUJIRO: Sei… relax. You’ll kill our star if you keep doing this.

SEIJIRO: (To SOUJIRO) Oh, you’re always taking away my fun, aren’t you? Why can’t you just let loose and let ME do things MY way?

SOUJIRO: (Drily) …because your way involves destroying things?

SEIJIRO: (Same tone) Oh, like your way is better. Last I remember, you almost- HEY! (Turns towards Jamie, who was starting to escape his hold) WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE?!

JAMIE: (Frightened) EEP!

SOUJIRO: Now, now, Seijiro, let’s not be rash… I have the perfect punishment for our young star. (Grins. Seijiro follows suit.)

SEIJIRO: Oh, yes… that is perfect, really…

(FIVE HOURS LATER…)

SCENE: Same, only JAMIE is nowhere in sight. SOUJIRO and SEIJIRO are resting in beach chairs, with some coconuts.

JAMIE: (Off-screen, pleadingly) MR. MAFUNÈ! MR. MAFUNÈ! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! LET ME UP!!!

SEIJIRO: Nuh, uh, kid! You’re only leaving once you find the Sableye for us!

SOUJIRO: (Holding a coconut) Oh, and by the way… (Walks towards the edge of the tower, and drops the coconut. A long silence passes.)

JAMIE: (Off-screen) OUCH!!!

SOUJIRO: (Enraged) IT’S MAFUNÉ! NOT MAFUNÈ! DO YOU WANT ANOTHER COCONUT TO THE HEAD?

JAMIE: (Off-screen, scared) NO! NO! I DON’T! FORGIVE ME MR. MAFUNÉ!

SEIJIRO: (Smirking) Eh. Kids these days… (Takes off a cell phone and calls a random number.) Hey, is it Giovanni’s? Can I please order five thousand pizzas? Just put it in Jamie Jenning’s tab.

JAMIE: (Off-screen) WHAT?!

SEIJIRO: And as much coke as you need to eat them all!

JAMIE: (Off-screen) GAH! YOU… AAAAAHHHH!!!

SOUJIRO: (Looking down) Oh, dear. It looks like he fell down the wall again. (To SEIJIRO) Do you think we should rescue him now?

SEIJIRO: (Finishing off his call) Bah. We still have two hours before we have to reshoot. So, what do you wanna play?

SOUJIRO: (Smirking) How about we see what’s harder: a coconut or Jamie’s head?

SEIJIRO: (Smirking as well) Heh. That’ll never get old!

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-

CHARACTERS:

SOUJIRO MAFUNÉ as HIMSELF

SEIJIRO MAFUNÉ as HIMSELF

JAMIE JENNINGS as SORA

SABLEYE as DARKSIDE

GIORNO GIOVANNI as GIOVANNI’S PIZZA PARLOR’S ATTENDANT

LAKITU as CAMERAMAN

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-

Well, there you go, folks, the first chapter is complete.

Why does the spacing look like some stupid eyes?

Because it bugs you.

Ah.

Please, everyone who cares, read and review!

LET’S ROCK!

Um… that’s a late text.

Drat.

…

At least Blue’s coming in the next chapter.

Did I ever mention how much I don’t like you?

Lots.​

 

[Kirbymania123]

Do more! Do more!

 

[Wondrous Sableye]

Heh. This'll be good…Plus, Sableye as Darkside! XD I was wondering what the deal was with mentioning Wonder-Gro at the start…XD Giant Sableyes…

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Nobody cares who Jamie is?

...

Joy.

 

[Breezy]

"Read it Jamie! I named it after you!"

Yeah, monkéy, too bad I'm not a boy. -.-; I care who Jamie is. Whoever your basing it off. I hope it's not me. You're very cruel. XD

JAMIE: (Off-screen, pleadingly) MR. MAFUNÈ! MR. MAFUNÈ! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! LET ME UP!!!

SEIJIRO: Nuh, uh, kid! You’re only leaving once you find the Sableye for us!

SOUJIRO: (Holding a coconut) Oh, and by the way… (Walks towards the edge of the tower, and drops the coconut. A long silence passes.)

JAMIE: (Off-screen) OUCH!!!

SOUJIRO: (Enraged) IT’S MAFUNÉ! NOT MAFUNÈ! DO YOU WANT ANOTHER COCONUT TO THE HEAD?

What's the difference. . .?

Other than that, I enjoyed it. It's a cute little fic monkéy.

LaTeR dAyZ!

 

[aznpoke]

Hahaha!!!! That's good.

 

[jirachiman876]

Great job vid. Funny stuff. Who is jamie??? really??? I'll read more funny stuff there vid.
jirachiman out ;385;

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Pokingmon Hearts - The Outtake Version

Because me and Seijiro were bored…​

(Pre-fic review banter!)

(Breezy: The difference is that the é sounds like eh. The è sounds like euh.)

(Jirachiman: What, didn't you notice the very familiar device on his arm? Oh well.)​

Well, we’ve gotten enough praise and what-not to continue, so we will continue!

Of course, this chapter is gonna require some information for you, since the plot doesn’t exactly follows what you thought it did.

Do I really need to tell them?

Yes.

Oh, great. Anyway, here’s the original plot for the prologue: (For the sake of it, you guys are seeing what happens as it is stated, only without any voices)

…

Originally, we were showing a copy of the original introduction, only with Jamie, Marina, and Jonathan in Sora, Kairi, and Riku’s place. When Jamie reached the tower (and dozens of Pidgeys flew off), a disembodied voice told him to choose between a stick, a helmet, and a pair of gloves. He chose the stick and got rid of the gloves.

Because you told him to.

Oh, shut up, will ya? Is it my fault that it’s the best combination?

Yes.

… anyway, after choosing, the tower and him disappeared and he fell on another tower. He was then attacked by rabid Rattatas with a black aura surrounding them. That went on for six more towers. Then, on the seventh, a giant Sableye came out of his shadow and attacked him.

After Jamie beat him, he unfortunately made the Sableye fall down the tower, and then we forced him to go get him. That’s what last chapter was about.

Yeah. Now for this chapter’s info…

After waking up from the bizarre dream he had, Jamie had to collect things for the raft the three kids were making. Only he was more interested in fighting with the other kids than building the raft. Marina threw a coconut at him and he fell on the water below after getting a score of 50000000000000x0 for Jonathan.

And then he had to build the raft by himself.

Yeah. Then we cut off to the Indigo Kingdom, where lived Champion Prince Ash and his two could-be brides, Princesses Misty and May…

Who argue all day!

…and his subordinates and royal pet. Court Magician Brock found a message from him (written in crayon on the wall, at large scale) that was Very Important and Secret.

So Very Important and Secret, in fact, that you can’t check it until the next chapter!

And he went to the courtyard find the Captain of the Guard, Tracey. But when he tried to tell him about the Very Important and Secret message, Princesses Misty and May-

-Who argue all day!-

Shut up. Anyway, the princesses found out.

Meanwhile, back at New Bark Islands, Jamie was twisting the last knots on the raft, when a large wave crashed overhead and ruined it yet again. As he was getting angry like a demented beaver, he tripped on an unconscious brown-haired girl that had been washed up as well.

And that’s where we start the video! Off we go!

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-​

*Original Version: Post-Chapter One*

SCENE: New Bark Islands, Raft-side.

(It’s nearing nighttime on the islands. There isn’t much in the island, other than natural features and a very broken raft. Besides that, there are the three people from before - SOUJIRO, SEIJIRO, and JAMIE, and a brown-haired GIRL wearing a black dress and heels. Her eyes are closed. SOUJIRO and SEIJIRO are sitting in beach chairs. JAMIE is sitting on the sand, holding the GIRL.)

SOUJIRO: Well, that’s an interesting development. Did you add her on editing?

SEIJIRO: Well, yeah. I mean, your plot was so boring and stupid… I had to fix it!

SOUJIRO: Oh well… (Disgusted) What are you doing, Jamie?

JAMIE: (Moving his head closer to hers) I’m just practicing my CPR skills.

SEIJIRO: You don’t know the difference between CPR and RPG.

JAMIE: Do too! The difference is that RPG is how you actually do it! (SOUJIRO and SEIJIRO look at him like he’s turned into a beaver.)

SEIJIRO: Whatever… still, you’re not getting any from her.

JAMIE: And why not?

SOUJIRO: Because she is related to the meanest SOAB in existence, and it’s doubtful he’d let his daughter date someone like you?

JAMIE: (Mute from fear.)

SEIJIRO: Now let me take her, otherwise we’ll have a very terrible breach, okay? (Takes GIRL from JAMIE’s lap and the trio disappear, while JAMIE stays there sulking.)

(Change SCENE to the other side of the island, inside the Seaside Shack. The trio reappears, and SEIJIRO lays the GIRL down.)

SEIJIRO: Heh, good one.

SOUJIRO: Huh?

SEIJIRO: That was a good excuse, ya know. The kid’s face was awesome! If only I had a camera…

SOUJIRO: What are you talking about?

SEIJIRO: Well, that whole speech about how she was related to a SOAB and the rest?

SOUJIRO: Ah. (Pause.) Who said I was joking?

SEIJIRO: Huh?!

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-

CHARACTERS

SOUJIRO MAFUNÉ as HIMSELF

SEIJIRO MAFUNÉ as HIMSELF

JAMIE JENNINGS as SORA

ELLEN ELSON as GIRL

*JONATHAN JOHNSON as RIKU*

*MARINA MAHYA as KAIRI*

*JAKE JACKSON as TIDUS*

*SAMUEL SAMURAI as WAKKA*

*YOUNG MOLLY HALE as SELPHIE TIMLITT*

*ASH KETCHUM as KING MICKEY*

*MISTY as QUEEN MINNIE*

*MAY as LADY DAISY*

*BROCK as DONALD DUCK*

*TRACEY as GOOFY*

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-

And… DONE!

Yep. We’re done. Names that are written between asterisks were not even mentioned in the outtake, but on the main plot.

That’s good enough. *BEEP* Hey, what is that?

*BEEP* Oh, my cell phone’s ringing. *BEEP*

Well, then check it!

Okay. *CLICK* Hello? Oh, hi. Ah. Um. Oh. Sorry about that. Uh…

…

Are you sure you don’t accept credit? *CLICK*

Well?

We have a problem. Turns out we misspelled Giorno Giovanna’s name last chapter.

Oh, great.

Yeah, I know. The usual thing?

Like always, I guess.​

 

[Breezy]

You know monkéy, no matter how you color your name, you still seem crazy talking to yourself like that. *sympathy cookie*

SOUJIRO: Because she is related to the meanest SOAB in existence, and it’s doubtful he’d let his daughter date someone like you?

No question mark. >=0

Other than that, a pleasant read. Short and sweet and sprinkled with light humor too. Yay.

Er... yeah.

Crappy review. Oh well.

LaTeR dAyZ!

 

[Ouallada]

I rate the prologue 3/5. Be back to rate after chapter has been posted.

 

[The Mega Champion]

I'd didn't read the original... but this is pretty good... keep going, I want to see where this goes.


Oh, and I've got a strange question for you, fanfic writer, is this fic supposed to be some kind of Kingdom Hearts Pokemon style, fic? Just wondering... Oh, don't worry, I'm not gonna flame you for doing a KH+Pokemon fic... I'm just curious...

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

FeBreeze: I'm not crazy... It just happens that I have a friend and we both got this gag. Besides, he's the author. I'm just the editor.

Also, 'twas a rethorical question.

Quallada: Vote more times!

TMC: Of course you didn't. It was scraped and left to rot somewhere in the computers. Thankfully, I can just ask Soujiro to burn his brain and do it.

 

[The Mega Champion]

^^^ That's... nice... but... what about the other question? I'll ask it again, I guess...



Is this supposed to be some type of KH+Pokemon fic? I don't care if it is... I'm just curious...

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

... that IS the answer. It isn't exactly. The original was, but it was scrapped because, as the first chapter indicated, it was lackluster.

 

[The Mega Champion]

^^^ Okay, thanks.


My opinion stays the same. This is interesting... I want to see where you go with this... so... keep going, and keep up the good work.

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Okay, I know that it's been more than a month (raises sign behind back saying "Who Cares?"), but I just wanted to assure you all that this fic will be coming up soon... once Soujiro gets the CD with the information he needs. So... please wait for the next part, where we'll show YOU several of the fights in the story!

 

[The Mega Champion]

^^^ Really? And I thought it died... O_O;;;;; Okay. I'll make sure to keep an eye on this thread for the next chapter.

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Pokingmon Hearts - The Outtake Version

Because me and Seijiro were bored…​

And here we are again, with another brand new chapter of our Outtake Saga!

Starring everybody’s favorite main character, and other dozens of people you don’t care about!

Great wording there, Seijiro.

Why thank you!

…

Well, anyway, on today’s original chapter, Jamie had finally finished the raft, although he kept complaining that it was costing him time to go ‘check’ on the girl he had found previously. Of course, when he said that, Marina threw a coconut at him again and he fell face-first on the raft.

Then he asked what she was doing here and she went into an attack of Righteous Female Fury™ and burrowed him underneath dozens of coconuts.

That’s quite a change from the original.

You should know. YOU are the one who did that!

Oh, yeah.

Anyway, she then told him to get to collect food for them, because they’d need food to travel to other places. Jonathan said they’d probably just steal their friends’ food, but she threw a coconut at him then and they started to run away before she killed them.

Don’t you think this went a bit overhead?

You were the one who suggested maximum comedy factor, so it’s your fault.

Okay, okay. After that whole mess was dealt with, Jamie went on to fish like a bear and get eggs like a weasel. Only he is a complete mess as a fisher, a bear, and a weasel. At least he can’t drown, because we made sure his clothes are floaters.

Yeah. Once he got all the required stuff, he decided to go check a cave Samurai told him to. Of course, that was AFTER he had beaten the living daylights off the lil’ guy, so yeah.

And when he got there, a cloaked man started talking about doors and other things nobody cares about, unless they’re drunk or playing RPGs. Or both.

Like shiny stuff?

Yeah. Then we cut to the Indigo Kingdom again, where Princesses Misty and May -

- Who argue all day! -

-and then we finally see the message Prince Ash left. Which was drawn with fingerpaint. Who gave him fingerpaint anyway?

Dunno. Anyway, the message said the following: DEAR BROCK. I AM HEADED TO TEH SPACE SO I CAN FIND OUT TEH MYSTERY OF THE STARS. PLZ TELL MISTY AND MAY TO STOP ARGUING. GO LOOK FOR THE KEY.

P.S.: I USED PEANUT BUTTER TO WRITE. I AM SMATR!

Okay, it was peanut butter. After that, Princesses Misty and May -

- Who argue all day! -

-started to argue again about dozens of things, and then a small grasshopper named Max jumped on Tracey’s head and they left for the space rocket.

On the way, Max explained why he was so small and stuff, and they got onto a ship manned by a Torchic and a Psyduck. The ship was shot onto space from the bottom of the planet, which is strange since planets don’t have bottoms.

Then they left and we got a decent animation where Jamie runs away from home because his mother wants him to do the chores.

But we got nothing cool to show you this chapter, so instead, we’ll be showing battle scenes that, unfortunately, weren’t useful for the official version. Have fun.

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-​

SCENE: New Bark Islands, Shack-side.

NEW BARK BATTLES
TAKE: 1

(We are watching the first of many battles in the fic: currently, JAMIE, who uses a wooden stick, is getting ready to fight against MOLLY, who uses a jump rope to attack. A whistle is heard, and JAMIE jumps forward, read to attack, while MOLLY does a vertical strike with her rope. Suddenly, JAMIE stops in mid-air, his body frozen in pain. MOLLY delivers a few extra strikes, before his health is depleted and he faints.)

SEIJIRO: CUT!

NEW BARK BATTLES
TAKE: 2

(Cut to a minute later. JAMIE seems to have gotten better, although he seems to still be pained. This time, his opponent is SAMURAI, who uses a ball that looks awfully like a Metapod tied to a rope, using it as a ball-and-chain whip. A whistle is heard, and JAMIE waits for SAMURAI, who is spinning the ball, to throw it, before striking it, sending it towards SAMURAI. The fatter boy is surprised and gets hit with the ball, getting dizzy and dropping it. JAMIE grins before running at him, delivering a few strikes, before SAMURAI recovers and does a headbutt, throwing him to the ground. Taking this chance to pick his ball-and-rope whip, he throws it at JAMIE’S neck, where it gets stuck. SAMURAI then spins him around for a while, before throwing him at the sea, ending the battle.)

SOUJIRO: CUT!

NEW BARK BATTLES
TAKE: 3

(Cut to some time after that. JAMIE is getting prepared for another battle, this time against JACKSON. The cap-haired boy turns to the screen, obviously asking without speaking whether or not he is gonna survive these fights, while his opponent smirks happily while he twirls a pair of small sticks. A whistle is heard, and the two square off, JAMIE having to defend harder their first attack due to the two sticks. JACKSON keeps this up, forcing JAMIE to put all his efforts in defending against high attacks, and thus lowering his lower defense. JACKSON does a leg sweep, causing JAMIE to fall, before striking him several times, fainting him.)

SEIJIRO: CUT! CUT! CUT!

NEW BARK BATTLES
TAKE: 9

(A long time after that. JAMIE is getting prepared to start another battle. There are six marks in the ground below them, one of them being larger and a division. The marks are all in the opponent’s side, a red-haired boy who is roughly the same age as JAMIE and wears a black and purple winter school uniform. He holds a stick similar to JAMIE’s, but his is apparently better. A subtitle below him appears giving his name, JONATHAN.)

(A whistle is heard, as usual, and the two race to hit each other... but JAMIE is the one hit, and he’s thrown into the sea.)

TAKE: 14

(There are more marks on the ground now. None on JAMIE’s side, however. Him and JONATHAN are preparing themselves for another battle. A whistle is heard, and the boys jump to deliver air strikes... but JAMIE is hit, and he falls on the bridge, losing.)

TAKE: 19

(More marks are on the ground. Still not on JAMIE’s side. A whistle is heard as the two run towards each other, but JAMIE jumps over JONATHAN’s strike, and prepares to hit him... when the red-haired boy does a 360 degrees’ spin and strikes him, throwing him into the coconut tree, where a coconut falls on him and he faints.)

TAKE: 23

(Even more marks are on the ground now. JAMIE looks a bit tired, while JONATHAN is still at his peak. A whistle is heard and JAMIE stays where he is, while JONATHAN races to attack him. JAMIE manages to block the strike, but when he moves in to strike, he is hit and sent flying onto the sea.)

TAKE: 41

(It’s been quite a while, and now there are lots of marks on JONATHAN’s side. JAMIE is starting to get angry, and JONATHAN doesn’t seem much changed. A whistle is heard, and they jump at it, Jamie apparently getting some better strikes.. but he doesn’t manage to avoid a counter-attack, and thus he hits the tree, where a coconut hits him on the head and he faints.)

TAKE: 72

(There are even more marks on the ground. JONATHAN seems to have received some damage, but he’s better than JAMIE. The two boys get ready for another square-off. A whistle is heard, and JAMIE stays where he is, waiting for the strike. While he manages to defend most of the hits, a leg sweep and a frontal strike are too much for him, and so he flied at the bridge... which opens a holefrom so much damage, and so he falls on the sea.)

TAKE: 99

(Apparently it’s nighttime now, and the marks just keep growing. JAMIE still has none, and he is getting more and more tired. JONATHAN also is worst than earlier, but he’s still doing a lot better than JAMIE. A whistle is heard, and JAMIE goes berserk on JONATHAN, however he’s doing a lot better than the other times, managing to corner him on a tree looming over the sea and avoid serious damage. However, when he’s getting ready to deliver a combo which would probably finish JONATHAN, a coconut hits him on the head, and he falls on the sea.)

(The camera pans to show a blue-haired girl walking on the safe part of the bridge, wearing a yellow and white cap, a coat, a sleeveless red shirt and yellow and black shorts. Her subtitle says MARINA. She is fuming, obviously from what the boys were doing. She then approaches JONATHAN, stomping her feet.)

(Unfortunately, due to the nature of this scene, we’ll be unable to show it. Let’s just say it involves a nice use of coconuts and a waist.)

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-

CHARACTERS

SOUJIRO MAFUNÉ as HIMSELF

SEIJIRO MAFUNÉ as HIMSELF

JAMIE JENNINGS as SORA

JONATHAN JOHNSON as RIKU

MARINA MAHYA as KAIRI

JAKE JACKSON as TIDUS

SAMUEL SAMURAI as WAKKA

YOUNG MOLLY HALE as SELPHIE TIMLITT

*ASH KETCHUM as KING MICKEY*

*MISTY as QUEEN MINNIE*

*MAY as LADY DAISY*

*BROCK as DONALD DUCK*

*TRACEY as GOOFY*

-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-+-_-

We’re done here.

Yeah, time runs, besides, college is troubling.

So, since you’ve listened to us so far, please do us a favor and suggest some stuff!

And we’re still waiting for people to figure out who are the characters with original names.

By the way, the reason why the not-main characters don’t get the description treatment is because they look so much like their original versions that you shouldn’t have trouble picturing them.

That’s right! Also, despite the fact that we are the ones making up the plot, we listen to suggestions! After all, despite being made, we decided to revamp a lot of stuff!

So good night, and we’re done!

Give us moneys!​

 

[billy5772]

Well, mahkeefoshizzle, I read this even though I haven't read the first one, and I feel like I'm missing something. the fic's got this kind of esoteric ambience about it, ya know? Well, even then, I could appreciate what you were doing with the humor scenes and stuff. I especially like the latest chapter. You've done a good job with Jamie's characterization as the go-for kind of lackey to Seijirou and soujiro [sp?] and it was funny to see him lose all those battles.

Yeah, see ya later, mah funneh.

 

[The Mega Champion]

Cool. Another chapter. Already read it, not great, but still good. Does this mean your going to get back on track with this fic?