• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Preview: Fire, Rain and Leaf

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
For anyone who's read my fic on FF.net, this is the prequel. I've stressed this many times but anyway: Hoennian Dream and this are not connected. The lead characters are my own creation: Jack Cameron and his twin Laura. Jack competes in Gyms whereas Laura competes in Contests.

Oh, and before I forget, Jack is my version of Red, so if he catches some stereotypical Pokemon, please don't flame me for it. He is a typical trainer, but his Pokemon won't be uber'd. The three that are stereotypical I won't reveal, but let me say this: they'll either be beaten midway in battles, babies or not strong enough to compete. This will not be a Gary-Stu/Mary-Sue fic.
________________

September 29th, 1992

Rain poured down hard in the Viridian Forest. The Caterpies and Weedles crawled up into their homes; mere holes in the trees, some Pidgey did the same, only they flew. The Metapods and Kakunas just hung on the branches, like Psyducks on a shooting range. Pidgeotto scattered throughout the forest and the few Pikachus hid in the shadows.

For in this sacred place, a battle was happening. One had fair hair and a face that had a faint mark of a beard, amber eyes hardened, his leather jacket and jeans soaked by the rain. His partner had a stern, tanned face with grey hair that was once brown and wore a lab coat with a red shirt and cream pants. The former was Ethan Cameron, a previous Indigo League Champion; the latter was Professor Samuel Oak, head of the Pallet Town Pokemon Laboratory.

Their opponent wore a confident smile on his pale, pointed face, his grey eyes almost relaxed, his black hair sodden. He wore a black blazer over a white shirt; the breast pocket bore a single red R.

"So, you think you two can stop me, hm?" Giovanni asked lazily. What did he have to fear, anyway? "Sadly you're mistaken. Project Evangelion has been completed."

"We know this Giovanni," Ethan growled, "But that doesn't mean we can stop you while we can!" He turned to his partner. "Sam, are you ready?"

"When you are," Samuel replied, drawing out a Pokeball at the same time as Ethan. They threw them in unison, opening in a flash of light. Out of the first came a Venusaur, a large viridian reptile with heavy red eyes, bumped limbs and an immense plant on it's back, it's pink petals and large leaves heavy with rainwater.

Out of the second came a Dragonite, a golden-tanned dragon with antennae, a small, blunt horn on it's head, a pair of large wings, a serpentine belly and clawed limbs. Both of these allies had focused looks, both trainer and Pokemon.

Giovanni merely smirked at this and threw out two Pokeballs; one was a Luxury Ball and the other a Safari Ball. The Luxury Ball opened, revealing a Persian, a tall cat with cream fur, eyes with a single, slitted pupil, a curled tail and a red gem in it's forehead. It's companion was a Rhydon, a mass of armour and skin with a long tail and a single drill-like horn on it's head.

They ddin't care it was raining. None of them did. What mattered was their enemy and to see them out of battle. Giovanni's smirk remained on his face, even when the commands were given.

"Venusaur, Vine Whip!"

"Dragonite, Dragon Claw! Let's go!" Venusaur launched a vine as thick as an Arbok at Persian, cutting the air; Dragonite, meanwhile, flew up and launched itself at Rhydon, now preparing to slash with claws glowing blood-red.

"Take Down, Rhydon, and Persian use your Shadow Ball attack." Rhydon charged head-first at the upcoming Dragonite, it's horn perfectly placed. Meanwhile, Persian launched an orb of cobalt flame and violet energy at the approaching Vine Whip...


___________

So, what d'you think? This is only part of the prologue.
 
Last edited:

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
Hmmm...no one's commenting on this, but this needs comments, no? :<

You set up that showdown beautifully, with the torrential rain and the spot-on descriptions, from what I see in that scene. It's got a vibe to it that I like, so hopefully this fic takes off as an success.
 

Tale

Well-Known Member
I'll follow up Scrap's reply by agreeing with her. This does have a nice vibe to it, something that all decent trainer fics have, and this does seem to be a decent trainer fic.

Can't really tell much from part of the prologue, but I suppose it gives people a good idea of your style of writing. I suppose the main reason you dont have much replies here is because its a preview, people dont often read previews for some arguable reason. Anyway, it didn't deserve a single star by any means so I boosted it a bit with my own rating. Hope this fic pregresses well, good luck!
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Rather ironically, I may be changing Jack and Laura's starters to Bulbasaur (Jack) and Squirtle (Laura). Why? Here's why:

xXSapphireXx said:
Another thing to point out is that Squirtle, Chikorita and Torchic were considered to be the 'cuter' starters of each region respectively.

And Squirtle is the cutie of the Kanto bunch. My stories tend to be a fusion of both manga and anime but mostly I follow the manga's pattern. In terms of starters it goes like this:

Male hero (Red, Gold, Ruby): Bulbasaur, Cyndaquil, Mudkip; the best choice as a starter.
Male rival (Green, Silver, Emerald): Charmander, Totodile, Treecko; the Dragon Egg Group starter.
Female heroine (Blue, Crystal, Sapphire): Squirtle, Chikorita, Torchic; the cutest starter.

Because of this pattern, I may well change Jack and Laura's starters.
 

Lupin

Legendary Pokémon Coordinator
Now that is a good introduction. It really sets the scene for the battle area and the battle about to happen. Excellant description and good length for an introduction. Although I get the impression that you are going to say at Chapter 1 something along the lines of 15 years eariler.

But still, I look forward to it.
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Well, really I've got no choice in the matter; it was intended as the prologue but it's really too short to convince as a stand-alone chapter. So...yeah, it will be in Chapter 1.

EDIT: Should Jack get a Bulbasaur or a Charmander? One of those two but I have trouble deciding.
 
Last edited:

Literate

black cat, black cat
Should Jack get a Bulbasaur or a Charmander? One of those two but I have trouble deciding.
I dunno... *stares at banner* Charmander?

Well. I don't really know what to say about this. But it didn't really give the feel of the plot. >.> I don't know. I read things out of sheer boredom. So I can't really give you an opinion on that. >.>

~PEACE~
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Oh God, I just don't know anymore. Each one has it's own dilemma. Bulbasaur is the best choice as a starter, but I was planning it for Laura and without it I can't giver her a decent Grass-type. Charmander's the coolest choice as a starter but now I just have my doubts about it. Unless I give 'em both to Jack and give the rival an Eevee, I'm all out of options.

EDIT: One of the reasons I'm having trouble with choosing a starter is on the count of this picture.
 
Last edited:

Literate

black cat, black cat
Oh God, I just don't know anymore. Each one has it's own dilemma. Bulbasaur is the best choice as a starter, but I was planning it for Laura and without it I can't giver her a decent Grass-type. Charmander's the coolest choice as a starter but now I just have my doubts about it. Unless I give 'em both to Jack and give the rival an Eevee, I'm all out of options.
Actually in FireRed/LeafGreen, the best starter would be a Bulbasaur. Then Squirtle and then Charmander. Yeah, in Gym advantage. BUT. Bulbasaur will get schooled in Sabrina's Gym and Squirtle much sooner in Vermillion. So yeah. Charmander has the least problems later on but it would have a harder time to defeat the eight gym. And such. Squirtle would be neutral against the league, Bulbasaur would be greatly weakened, and so will Charmander...

But then a decent Grass type would be a Vileplume.

Give Jack the Charmander. Give his sister a Squirtle. And the rival the Bulbabsaur.

It'd be like this: (Off the top of my head)
-Some fire type like... Charmander/Charmeleon/Charizard or Growlithe/Arcanine or Vulpix/Ninetales or Ponyta/Rapidash or Eevee/Flareon
-Some water type like... Squirtle/Wartortle/Blastoise or Shellder/Cloyster or Seel/Dewgong or Lapras or Eevee/Vaporeon or Horsea/Seadra/Kingdra
-Some electric type like... Pikachu/Raichu or Eevee/Jolteon or Magnemite/Magneton
-Some flying type like... Pidgey/Pidgeotto/Pidgeot (I think that's how you spell it) or Spearow/Fearow or Dodou/Dodrio
-Some grass type like... Bellsprout/Weepinbell/Victrebel or Oddish/Gloom/Vileplume or.....
-This slot could be Psychic (Abra/Kadabra/Alakazam) or Ghost (Gastly/Haunter/Gengar) or Dragon (Dratini/Dragonair/Dragonite)



There you can use that. (Or the Serebi Pokedex.) To help you. I think.

Okay, bye for now.

~PEACE~
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Well, I can't really see the rival having a Bulbasaur and I know you're gonna hate me for that (probably). Anyway, why would I use the Bulbasaur line in a Psychic-type Gym when I knew it would end up getting pwned?

Just in case I do a rechange, here are the three heroes teams for now:

Jack:
Venusaur
Arcanine
Gyarados
Pikachu
Pidgeot
Dragonite

Dan (rival):
Charizard
Golduck
Aerodactyl
Victreebel/Parasect
Electabuzz
Scyther

Laura:
Blastoise
Ninetales
Clefairy
Butterfree
Nidoqueen
Vileplume/Bellossom (later)
 
Last edited:

Literate

black cat, black cat
Jack:
Venusaur
Arcanine
Gyarados
Pikachu
Pidgeot
Dragonite

Dan (rival):
Charizard
Golduck
Aerodactyl
Victreebel/Parasect
Electabuzz
Scyther

Laura:
Blastoise
Ninetales
Clefairy
Butterfree
Nidoqueen
Vileplume/Bellossom (later)
I like the name Dan. ^.^ For some reason.

It looks fine. So what about that picture that made you change your mind? I can't see what you're talking about. >.> I know, I'm dense. Something about the girl having the Blastoise, the main hero having the Venusaur, and the rival having the Charizard, huh? It doesn't really matter. In my first ever pokemon fic, I didn't really pay any atttention to the anime or manga (Not that I read it) and gave the girl Venasaur, the boy a Blastoise, and the rival a Charizard. Of course I was going to leave it undisclosed...

Good luck. ^_^

~PEACE~
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Thanks Literate for all your help. Jack does get an Eevee, but it's a baby and not strong enough to battle.

Jack does get all three starters in the next story anyway; it was just hard to think which one to, well, start with.

If I do change, you'll see. In my first fanfic, Jack got Charizard, Dan got Blastoise and Laura got Venusaur, but I began to change after I developed a new-found love for the Bulbasaur line.
 

Lupin

Legendary Pokémon Coordinator
I say pick Bulbasaur because there are two many fics where the hero picks Charmander. There are proplery just as many with Bulbasaur, but I reckon that Charizard is over hyped.
 
Top