• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Preview - Fragmented Reflection

Zerodius

Eternally hating D/P
A preview for my new chaptered fanfic, parallel to Rejected.

This story is simply a retelling of Mewtwo's story following the anime and movies timeline...

... but this fic is not a novelization for there is a MAJOR difference that changes everything.

Unlike in the canon, the scientists did not try to create Charmandertwo, Squirtletwo, Bulbasaurtwo, and Ambertwo. They decided, instead, to create several Mewtwos...

There is only one canon Mewtwo... yet there are six clones...

Things should turn out interesting, isn't it?

==========================================================
FRAGMENTED REFLECTION
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
PROLOGUE: SIX COPIES
==========================================================

Who am I? Where am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? Why am I here?

Although they were many, the questions seemingly came from a single source...

He was born second-last so he hadn't seen it with his own eyes... but he knew that the others had already finished off the last scientists. It had something to do with the answers they had given to their questions...

Who am I? You are clones. Where am I? In a laboratory. Where did I come from? You were created using DNA from Mew. Where am I going? Nowhere ; you were just experiments. Why am I here? You were born to go beyond the limitations of the original.

They had not been pleased... not at all... and as he stood, eyes glowing, claws stained with blood, an identity was created...

The humans called them all "Mewtwo" without making any distinction between any of them... but already, it seemed that they were not identical... and feeling the need to differenciate each others, the blood-stained one obtained a name based on how he had disposed of the scientists...

Bloody... his claws stained with blood, his maniacal stare piercing their minds... it was obvious that although their bodies were mostly identical that their minds were not the same at all.

"His claws are all bloody..." commented one of the six clones, his young mind offended by such a horrific scene of violence...

"Bloody... maybe this is how I shall be known." said the Mewtwo with the blood-stained claws, thinking aloud. Maybe this was the way to break this anonymous state the humans had forced them into...

Since they lacked names... they would find names for themselves... and an idea came into Bloody's soul. He turned to the one who had stated that his claws were bloody... "Why are you so shocked? You're the only one with such a face..."

"Whiny..." muttered another clone, his heart burning with hatred toward the weak-hearted member of the group.

A second name... Bloody grinned. Barely born and yet, so much had been achieved considering their young age... and two of them already had names.

Among the six, two were more aware than the others... Sure, Bloody had a spark of intelligence in his mind and he had been quick to act when the humans revealed their purposes to them... but the spark of intelligence was sleeping. Those two minds, on another hand, were fully awake. One, with its feelings subtle, almost supressed... the other, having no feelings of its own at all.

The six stood in the middle of the burning ruins, awaiting something... they didn't know what. They were born with the bodies of adults, without a purpose, with nowhere to call home and no parents to guide and love them... Alone... alone in the world mere minutes after coming into existence. They didn't even know how to write the words they had been exchanging through telepathy... they didn't know what to call most of the objects surrounding them...

Bloody and the raging clone were indifferent when the strange machine passed over their heads. Whiny and the two awakened minds paid attention, however. Whiny became scared while the other two were intrigued...

Then, a figure approached the six... a figure not unlike the scientists yet different... a figure with an intense, piercing gaze. A figure wearing an orange suit of sorts... a strange figure...

"I am Giovanni." there was no fear in his voice. He approached them, unafraid of the six' power. This confidence intrigued Bloody and made Whiny feel so tiny and weak...

"Why are you here? Is there any purpose to this?" asked one of the two awakened minds.

Giovanni, as the figure called itself, grinned evilly... "Once you will have realized your potential, you will learn of your purpose. Allow me to help you realize your potential..."

The voice was convincing... a bit too much to the ears of one of the two awakened minds, the heartless one. Still, the six, despite their adult bodies, were definitely young... and as such, longed for the protection of a being... and although the scientists had proven to be nothing but disappointment and target pratice, this new being... Giovanni... he sounded and looked strong and confident... and instinctively, their minds determined him to be an adoptive father of sorts...

The six turned to each others... and they quickly came to a decision. Even Whiny agreed, despite being afraid of Giovanni. It was the most logical course of action... or so said the heartless awakened mind.

Bloody took the initiative and sent the message through telepathy... telling Giovanni how they accepted his help. Giovanni's smile widened and he invited the six to follow him.

Slowly, the seven figures left the burning ruins, setting toward an uncertain future, Giovanni leading them foward...

Whiny and the awakened one who had feelings turned back one last time, looking at the ruins as they left...

"Was this pleasant vision... just a dream?" asked Whiny to the slightly older clone...

"I don't know... I feel sad and yet... I don't know why... Maybe the orange being knows..." said the awakened being.

"Your words are kind... kind compared to the bloody one and the scary orange being..." replied Whiny as he caught up with the others.

The last being stood there... thinking... and seeing both Bloody and Giovanni turning to him, gazing at him angrily, the being was forced out of his thoughts and followed...

"Do clones... have a destiny?... We were not born to be mere experiments... I will discover what is our purpose... I must..." thought the awakened one as he caught up... and then, as he looked to the others, he wondered...

Bloody and Whiny had already found themselves names... but what would be his?

... his words are kind... kind compared to Bloody's...

Words...

... why not?

He shall be known as... Words.

=TO BE CONTINUED
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Well... lets see. I don't think I'll ever get use to your writing style. Kudos for emotion and such but the way you write it, sometimes I feel like its being forced onto me instead of myself feeling it like they would.

I don't know if I can call this an original idea or not, I mean it is different but the way you approach it just doesn't seem to fit right.

Seven clones... seven dwarfs... Bloody and Whiny are the names I saw and cringed at how they uptained them. The character devolpment was pretty low in this and you really did skipped out on alot of description. You can't just expect people to know the movie and every detail. So far I just pictured each clone looking exactly liek each other, other then Bloody since he had claws.

Giovanni need far more description, the only way I knew it was him was when you said his name.

Again on the characters though, I see you are trying to make each different, either by the name or 'personality' but really all I see is just copies with rather silly names. Whiny? Bloody? Are they that unorignal? You act like they are children at heart and yet I see barely any relfection on that.

You need to work on far more description, of characters and invoroment and well the way you started this whole thing off was very confusing.

You have multibile characters, make sure we can tell who's who.

There is alot of work to be done before this could be a real story to me.
 

Zerodius

Eternally hating D/P
Although this is a beta... I shall say this:

The characters not being fully developed is something I did on purpose ; the characters will be described, little by little, as the fic progress. I wanted them to be mostly empty "canvas" at first and for them to be "filled" as the storyline will progress.

Also, about their names and their level of maturity... well, they ARE rather immature. Like, they are barely born. Some of them are born with a level of intelligence equivalent if not superior to the canon Mewtwo but most are children mentally ; it will take time for them to mature.

Also, the six ARE identical physically... although this will only be shown later... well, not true. Whiny has a single difference when compared to the others... but it will be revealed later, as well.

The confusion concerning who is who is intentionnal ; at times, they will be radically different. At other times, one can only wonder if there truly are six clones or if the five others are just products of the real Mewtwo's imagination... whoever the real Mewtwo might be, out of the six.

Note that the canon Mewtwo IS among the six... but it will only become obvious who is the canon Mewtwo in later chapters.

Note that the names are not just for shows ; finding no way to differenciate each others other and with their levels of intelligence and maturity being so radically different, the six agreed to call each others by personality traits... although in the final version, this scene comes up in the early chapters ; I agree that it was a mistake for Bloody and Whiny to obtain their names so quickly... and them gaining their names was rather anti-climatic, to say the truth.

As a final note, I would like to say that this is a beta ; the final version will have differences (such as the clones' names being removed and describing the awakening process of all characters).

NOTE: This post may be edited later when I have the time.
 
Last edited:

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Well I guess that explains a bit more, very very confusing still, but a bit more. (can see that I was so confused that I thought tehre were seven clones, six new clones and mewtwo)

Seijiro Mafuné - don't spam.

Well, I still say that you need to identify each character a bit more. Children or not and being different and such, you will need to explain each clone in a way were we can identify them sometime. Maybe not right away but I don't want to be confused.

I hope you go into my description as you say.

also, you use .... alot. Its somewhat annoying. :p
 

Seijiro Mafuné

Diogomainardista!
Oh, now you get my name right. And, just as a question, if I correct you, that equals spam?

Also, I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it'll involve something better than the most likely plot other fics have.
 
Top