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Prey (One Shot)

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by Dawn_Hero, Feb 24, 2011.

  1. Dawn_Hero

    Dawn_Hero Written Insanity~


    Hey, everyone! What's up? So I had been wondering what things I could do around here to expand my writing a bit, and a specific story idea hit me. So many people have been going on and on about Nurse Joy and the "evil" implications of the way she always says "We hope to see you again!" as if she meant harm on your Pokemon. I thought it would be an awesome idea for a fic, so I went along with it. The fic is somewhat dark slightly so if you're not into that sort of thing there's your warning. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy it. :3 Took me like an hour to write and it was sort of fun to do, so it's whatever. Lol.


    "This is week two in an epidemic," the anchorwoman on TV reported, her voice blaring through my Pokemon Center as I took another trainer's sickly Pokemon into my care. "A rash of Pokemon deaths is sweeping the city with no end in sight. Local law enforcement are still investigating, yet can find no leads as to where the poisoning is coming from. Studies lead towards an infected water supply due to the high rate of contamination, but that still doesn't explain why humans have yet to feel the ill effects of this toxin."

    I raised a remote control, silencing the lady from continuing her speech as yet another trainer came up to my counter, offering me his Pokemon to try and heal. I sighed, nodding my head and adding his pokeballs to the collection of those I was about to investigate. It appears almost every Pokemon in the city had been affected by now. The woman had been right- there really was no end in sight. None at all. As the boy sobbed, begging for me to make sure that his partners would make it through this alright, I gave him a warm smile as I told him everything would be alright very soon. I then told him what I had told everyone else that had come to me. Words that have different meanings to different people, depending on how they decided to view them.

    "We hope to see you again."

    I can't even remember how many times I've had to echo those words to trainer after trainer that made their way into my Pokemon Center. Day in and day out I constantly take care of their Pokemon, some nights even going without sleep as I cater to their every whim. Yet people still ridicule me, criticizing me for the phrase as if I'd meant harm to come to them by saying it. Why on earth would anyone even consider that as an option?

    Can't I just want to help Pokemon?

    I remember the day I finished nursing school... It's true that I'd never wanted to even go there from the beginning, but with the surname "Joy" I had little to no choice. It was either that or give up the family business, and anyone in my position knows the stance you have to take when given those two options. I now sit, day in and day out, healing the Pokemon of trainers back to full strength. Though I've never said it aloud, I've always secretly wondered what it would be like to be in their position. To travel the world with my Chansey, fighting gyms or competing in Contests. It seems like it would be a wonderful life, doesn't it...?

    Then I remember my cousin, Casey, and I'm jolted back into reality. We still haven't heard from her ever since she began competing in Contests. The family says it's her own choice not to visit with us, but I know better. We all know better. There are two types of Joys in this world; those who heal and those who don't.

    Those who don't aren't heard from.

    That doesn't stop me from occasionally tuning into the Sinnoh Contests on TV, however, and secretly wondering what it would be like to be her. To secretly be rooting her on. She is family, after all... Whatever "family" means in this twisted, messed-up world. Sometimes, when I'm particularly weak, I'd rather pretend I didn't have any family at all. I watch the trainers that stroll into my center, knowing how happy their families are for them to be traveling, and I can't help but admire their chance for fame. At the same time, though, I resent them for their opportunities. I despise them.

    I envy them.

    But... To envy those monsters feels so beneath me. People act as if trainers are the top of the food chain, but those who pay attention know better. They're snobs, constantly parading around and finding their way into misfortune. Their Pokemon pay the price, and they then run in here and demand their partners to be healed for free without so much as a "thank you." They treat us like we don't even exist... Like we're not even human. I've seen first-hand in my life the evil trainers are capable of. The destruction caused by giving those people creatures like that. So many of them are evil... People forget that those in Team Rocket and other evil crime syndicates are just as much trainers as anyone else. But that's alright. Everyone has their faults, don't they?

    ...Don't they?

    I still remember the day that trainer walked in to my center. It was two weeks ago on a Wednesday. His black hair fell lazily into his eyes as he gazed at me uninterestedly, laying his pokeballs out on the counter for me to take care of. We had done the normal routine; I asked him if I could heal his Pokemon, he angrily told me to hurry up, and I took their pokeballs in my hands. It was then that I saw his trainer card- a beautiful color that signified his mastery of both Gyms and Contests. I could feel myself getting flustered. I had paused, gazing at it for a few seconds before he cleared his throat to signify my need to hurry. I no longer cared, however. I gulped, gathering my courage as I asked him what it was like to battle. What it was like to coordinate. All I wanted was to know the rush you felt during the midst of it to help me dream of what it would be like to be in their position.

    The boy simply grinned at me, an evil dancing through his eyes I didn't quite understand. "Why would you care? It's beyond you," he sneered. "Leave that work to us, and you can just sit back and take care of the aftermath."

    I could feel my face turning bright red, but I didn't cry. I didn't yell at him for his insolence. I simply nodded my head and walked into the back of the center, closing the door behind me. As soon as I was out of sight from the boy I could feel the scream of anger rising in my throat, felt the fury coursing through my body. I slammed my foot against a trash can, hitting the counter with my fist as I seethed at his remarks. What does he know about what I can or can't do? I can be just as good as any of them. In fact, I could be better. I'll show them... I'll show them all.

    I lurched over the counter, panting heavily as I let out another roar of fury, kicking a chair over next to me. These brats think I'm only here to help them? Is that all I'm good for? No... No, I can do so much more than just that. I stomped over to the cabinets underneath the sink, swinging them open as I searched for the new medicine I'd be handing out to all those that came to my center. I finally found it, my poison of choice, as I released his Pokemon one-by-one and fed it to them. His Pokemon trusted me, they didn't know what I was doing. Why would they? Even these creatures only know me as a nurse here for their own benefit. By the time they were placed back into their pokeballs, I could tell by their expressions it was already slowly beginning to take effect. Their sickened, painful looks told me all that I need to know.

    I'll show them all just what I'm capable of, even if they don't know it's me doing it. I won't ever have to take real care of a trainer again. They can come back as much as they want... It'll just make my new job even easier. As what I had just done sank in, I gave a small moan of both disbelief and unbridled joy at what was about to take place to his partners. I leaned over the sink counter, gazing at my face in the mirror. Melinda, my dear, I believe you've finally found your calling in life.

    I smirked, brushing the hair out of my eyes as I grabbed the boy's pokeballs and walked back out to greet him with a warm smile. I finally knew what true anger was. What true hatred was. It was then I knew the true meaning behind my words I'd echoed year after year. I wanted them to come back, wanted to show them just what I was capable of. As the boy scowled at me, chiding me in the time it took me to finish, I could no longer hear him. I had no longer cared what he had to say. I simply handed him back his Pokemon, a smile spreading across my face as I had told him what I'd told so many trainers before him.

    "We hope to see you again."

    And now, nearly two weeks later, my poison is finally beginning to take hold of this town and creature after creature have begun to fall. The trainers keep coming back to me to save them from this torture... They finally realize their place in the natural order as I silently laugh from behind the scenes. As I glance through my center, I can't help but wonder just how many more will die until I finally feel satisfied. The answer, I know, is a simple one indeed.

    All of them.


    Well, there you have it. My second Pokemon one-shot ever. xD It's pretty short, so sorry for that. Anyways, if you read all that, make sure to leave a comment with your thoughts about it (good or bad). I look forward to seeing what people have to say about this piece of work. :3 Thank you so much for reading it, and have a great day!
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2011
  2. Trainer Robert

    Trainer Robert Well-Known Member

    ......0_o From now on, I'm buying any potions and Ethers thats comes my way XD Never again, will I look at a Nurse Joy the same way lol.

    Though it does bring up a good question, but also a thing to point out. Not all Joy's are nurses. Well atleast from what I saw in Pokemon Chronicles and the Pokemon contests in the Advance series. That they can be doing diffrent things if they wanted too lol.

    But yeah, a word of advice for anyone who thinks illy about joys XD Don't forget who's healing your POKEMON. Cause like all Doctors and Nurses, they too have poisens and other materials, in order to heal them lol. So don't get them angry

    If that's even possible though. Good job and a very good read. Still gonna carry any potions I come by XD
  3. D. Scott

    D. Scott Well-Known Member

    Oh... oh god that's creepy. Excellently written. A Nurse who finally gets sick of the mistreatment and basic emotional abuse given to her by trainers... suh-nap.

    As I said, very well written. Props on this idea, as well: I've never seen it done.
  4. Dawn_Hero

    Dawn_Hero Written Insanity~

    I had addressed that in the story itself; either Joys heal or they don't. Those that don't are excluded from the family. Lol. It's true some do, but for the sake of this story I've claimed that it's frowned upon not to go into nursing.

    Lol. Thanks so much for reading, Trainer Robert! Glad you enjoyed it. :D

    Thanks so much for reading, IanDonyer. ^^ I'm glad you enjoyed the story and it creeped you out a little bit. Hahahah. It's always fun to think about things from a different perspective.

    Thanks for reading and reviewing, you two. ;D You rock! Hahahah.
  5. LudicoloGuy

    LudicoloGuy ludiludiludiludiludi

    .... That was....


    I love one-shots like this, they really make you think. Your writing style is very impressive and shows the conflicting emotions that Melinda (i think that was it) had. I did not expect that ending at all XD

    From now on, I'll stick to using potions and ethers :DDDD
  6. Karpi

    Karpi Forever a pirate

    :( I feel bad for Nurse Joys now... it makes me want to run into the pokemon center and ask for their life story!

    Anyways, this was well executed. In the beginning I thought she was going to end up becoming a trainer in the end, but what you have is so much more sinister!
  7. Dawn_Hero

    Dawn_Hero Written Insanity~

    Hahahaha, surprise endings are definitely fun. That's for sure. It's fun to show different possibilities for the Nurse Joys in the world hahah. I'm glad you read my story and enjoyed it. c: Thanks for leaving a review!
  8. Breezy

    Breezy Well-Known Member

    Having read your other first person piece, I can definitely say you've gotten a lot better writing in the first person. Your narrative is not only very personal but also very distinct; you can feel Nurse Joy's anger ooze out through the text. The ending was very powerful; that last line was just awesome and creepy at the same time. It's an interesting point of view. I don't think many of us really think of the Nurse Joys as different people with different personalities, let alone people who may be frustrated with their surname and the association that comes with it. I like how twisted this one is and how she uses her trust as a nurse in order to gain personal access to the trainers that she hates.

    You also seem to have a better handle on where to focus your attention on; the emotions/personal narrative seemed to have come first while writing this piece while the description was used to enhance Nurse Joy's emotions.

    Personally, what I liked the most is structure of this piece. I like how you start us out right away with what's wrong and make Nurse Joy look like the innocent one in this whole debacle and then slowly bleed out the facts that she's the one that's causing the epidemic in the first place. And it's more downright malicious either; there's actually a believable justification behind her actions. In some ways, I wonder what it could have been like if she herself felt that she needed to save the poor pokemon under these cruel trainer's control by slowly killing them instead of her just seeking revenge via the pokemon. But I suppose that would change the tone. =P Either way, the plot you have here is twisted but creative.

    You kind of relied on the "bad guy" prototype, with the sneering and cruel taunts like you do in your chapter story, but it worked better with this story. I can see how this guy's attitude would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

    Overall, I liked this a lot. That last line is just awesome. You really improved in this narrative. Well done.
  9. Dawn_Hero

    Dawn_Hero Written Insanity~

    Sorry for the delayed reply, Uni's been kicking my butt so it's been hard to find time to do stuff hahah. I'll jump right into it though.

    First off, I'm so sorry LudicoloGuy. xD I didn't see your review the first time around! That's why I never replied to it.
    I'm really glad you liked it a lot. xD I find one-shots that make you question people's motives and their back stories can be incredibly fun. Yeah, her name was Melinda, which is a great easter egg for anyone reading my current chapter fic in my signature. Hahah. It's always fun to have a surprise twist ending, isn't it? ;P Thanks for reading and reviewing, like I said, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :D Hahahah.

    That means a lot, especially coming from you. xD Thanks so much, Breezy. I'm glad that you really enjoyed this piece; I felt like I had sort of hit the nail on the head after a while of tweaking this around a bit, but I'm really glad that the effects I were going for worked and that they were enjoyable, as well. :D

    Unfortunately, that wasn't ENTIRELY my idea. I started off with the story and ended it at both "We hope to see you again"s found in it, but after some suggestions from a reader and some thinking on my own part, I realized how much better the story could be if that all was added. I feel it worked out really well, though, so I'm happy. :D

    Grahhhh, bad guy prototypes. ;-; I really am using them a lot, aren't I? I've been thinking about my work a lot and I fall back on them way too much. xD Hahahah.

    Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Breezy. :D I appreciate it a ton!

    Thanks for the reviews and feedback, you two. c: And LudicoloGuy, again, I'm so sorry for not seeing your review the first time through. ;-; Hahahah.
  10. floracat

    floracat Give me your food.

    Incredible story.

    I am never looking at Nurse Joy the same way again.
  11. Rediamond

    Rediamond Middle of nowhere

    That was slightly creepy. Is there any way you can pay Nurse Joy in game, because I definately want to start doing it. It's been mentioned, but you have some slight difficulties with the 'mean-because-they-can-be' type of character. While it did speed up the one-shot, it kind of hurts WMON (the chapter fic that I might get around to reviewing), but that's off subject. From the actual context of how it's put together, you really use one line paragraphs to great effect in shaping the story. Overall, I am never going to a Pokemon Center in less it is absolutely necessary from this point on.
  12. GastlyMan

    GastlyMan Ghost Type Trainer

    Ooh, this was good. I felt sorry for Joy at first, until she decided to take out her anger on the naive and helpless Pokemon. o_O You did a good job with the narration and describing the internal conflict. Yeah, the "we hope to see you again" line is not something I'm taking for granted any more. xD Also, from what I've seen of the anime Nurse Joys seem to have nearly identical personalities, and it was refreshing to see one entirely different. :)

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