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Project Legends V2 Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'RPG Café' started by Monster Guy, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. Rotom310

    Rotom310 As seen in pokedexes

    part 1) To be fair Titan DID have Moltres first, so I say he should be the one to decide whether he'll switch or not. (Not like it matters but I like the cruel Moltres better)

    oh and *revealed

    part 2) YeahNO. It is most definitely NOT ok since it has next to nothing to do productivity-wise and makes NO sense. Plus there are tons of stuff that is illogical, as I will shortly point out.

    POST 1

    First issue is there is zero description. Based on what we read we can imagine Jago as a purple sandwich monster from the moon, provided we imagine this sandwich monster a male. Plus this is frankly not needed at all considering it does nothing to help build up the story. A word of advice: if it sounds out of place and sounds like it might not be needed; it probably isn't.

    Second is that there is an incomplete sentence fragment lying there, which is very very very poor grammar. I notice that you do this a lot instead of just using a comma. (This is why for my own amusment at the end of each of your posts I will tally how many fragments there are vs. how many commas. :3)

    Bad formatting aside, the trend of bad description and errors continue. First, thing I notice (other than the fact you seperated the word "got" between two different lines) is that you didn't start a new paragraph when changing who speaks. Just in correcting two things that becomes this, which while far from perfect is much better and easier to read and comprehend:

    See?

    This reminds me of a quote from Titan!

    Keep that in mind in the future.

    (Oh and more bad formatting)

    Second verse same as the first~ (more like fourth...)

    Pretty much everything I've said before applies to this part as well.

    How cliché. Ominous sky getting dark with little explination. [​IMG]

    Blaze is like a Charmander right? Without any description I would've have had a clue had I not read the profile day or two ago.

    This is the first part that reeks of illogicacy, though not near as much as any other part. Main point: why would fire SMASH a window? Does not compute.

    Fragments: 2
    Commas: 0

    POST 2

    Da fuk. How does an INCINERATE knock out a fully-evolved, definitely-stronger-than-an-eleven-year-old's Charmander, Staraptor?

    This, had it been elaborated a bit more on, would have been the most well-written part of any of the posts.

    For example, with little thought here is the same relative paragraph written differently:

    Now which sounds and looks better? Barely took me more than a few minutes too.

    ...How the hell did the ship get hurt? Out of nowhere, that did come.

    Oh and more bad grammar and formatting.

    Fragments: 2
    Commas: 2

    POST 3

    Not even going to ask about the weird paragraph spacing.

    More illogic. If I were a man seeing a little kid in a panicing city I'd grab them and drag them out, regardless of knowing them or not. Only an idiot would instead listen to a kid who thinks he can save the world like who says to leave him because he'll be fine.

    Ignoring the fact that in any canon it is never mentioned (to my knowledge) that Pokémon can just go into any old Pokéball they want like this... actually that was just the main problem with this paragraph not counting anything I've mentioned before.

    I don't know what's more hilarious: the fact you actually wrote that or the fact you went and posted it. [​IMG]

    Assuming the Pokémon used were Charmander, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur (since you never bothered to say), this makes even less sense. First of all none of them can learn the elemental Hyper Beams, meaning a Hydro Cannon is impossible and leaving zero chance those three could actually successfully BLAST a ship away.

    Also I find it amazing how those two people can make it through a panic-filled city near instantaneously when Jago called them.

    "...strange things..." Care to elaborate? How are they strange? The fuk are they even?

    "...hit hard in the head..." If he's hit that hard he shouldn't be conscious. Or possibly even living.

    "It was a Pokéball." Oh, so THAT's what raining down. Nice job putting it sentences away from what it is describing.

    "*Rest of the paragraph*" Remember when I said it was cliché? I was totally right.

    And this is the part I hate the most. And by part I mean the whole thing. Disregarding how cliché it is, you posted in three posts something that a) is 100% irrelevant, b) is badly written, and c) is something that, if it was even something that needed to be posted in the first place (which it wasn't), could've and should've been posted in just one post, not three different ones.

    what

    If you have to say something in an OOC note at the bottom of the post clarifying something, you are probably doing it wrong. Especially when it was something that could've easily been explained IN the post itself with even just a little description.

    Fragments: 5
    Commas: 3

    -- Totals --
    Fragments: 9
    Commas: 5


    Welp that's pretty much it. As Mufin and Purple have pointed out before me Project Legends is the villain group, not Rocket, making your posts even more silly and unnecessary, and even more likely to be asked to be deleted and starting from scratch.

    Anything I'm forgetting Mon/Titan?


    Also: TL;DR on the posts - Not ok, not necessary, probably will need to be deleted depending on what Mon/Titan say.
     
  2. MotherRussia

    MotherRussia ERMAHGERD, MERGIKERP

    You're so good at reviews I want one done on mine >_> I remember when I was like that in the last PL.. Except I had good writing. >_>
     
  3. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Team Rocket does not exist as an antagonistic group any more. Also, what are the authorities doing while a GIANT AIRSHIP O' DOOM is flying around?

    Also, despite feeling not-so sueish in your sign-up, Jago feels rather sueish right now.

    About whether to keep Calin or Jago ... Mon, you handle this.
     
  4. Chili

    Chili Well-Known Member

    Okay. So maybe I am bad at writing on the internet. But I am just trying to write and have fun. Rotom you don't have to be such a b*tch at times.
     
  5. Monster Guy

    Monster Guy Fairy type Trainer

    Yes, some of his comments were a little...harsh, but he's trying to help and make this enjoyable for the rest of us.
     
  6. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Oh yeah, another comment.

    Welcome to Project Legends. This is PG-13, please leave your goddamned swearing at the door or in your RP posts.

    Also, Mon, please give us a solution to the Moltres problem.
     
  7. Floorman

    Floorman Creeping On Le Floor

    Alright...I have a question. Is it the GMs' jobs to play grunts, or would I be allowed to play the grunts interacting with Mateus?
     
  8. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Well, most of the grunt-playing is my jurisdiction. But what exactly do you need them to do?
     
  9. Chili

    Chili Well-Known Member

    Ya What is the solution?
     
  10. Monster Guy

    Monster Guy Fairy type Trainer

    Honestly, I want to make Calin The true child of Moltres, but I'm bias. >_> (Read Rotom's coments on Chili's posts to see why...)
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2012
  11. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Draw up a table of pros and cons of both characters, and then we can decide better.
     
  12. Floorman

    Floorman Creeping On Le Floor

    It's hard for me to think of something to post that would make Mateus go anywhere and actually get involved, so I was thinking that a grunt or two could spur him into action.

    As for deciding the child of Moltres, Maybe you could put it to a vote.
     
  13. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Good idea Floorman. But anyway, I'll get Mateus moving then. Grunts! ASSEMBLE!

    EDIT: But make an introductory post first so I can get the grunts moving to your location.
     
  14. Monster Guy

    Monster Guy Fairy type Trainer

    Were putting the fate of Moltres up to vote then...
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2012
  15. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Yes we are. The loser can change to another Legendary.
     
  16. Floorman

    Floorman Creeping On Le Floor

    (I've already made one. Unless I need another.)

    I vote for Calin as the true child of Moltres
     
  17. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Well I can't really double-post you know.
     
  18. Chili

    Chili Well-Known Member

    Can you vote for yourself? If so Chili as the true child of Moltres. And Um what if there isn't any other legendaries available? How will the loser switch?
     
  19. Titan500

    Titan500 Solar Panels

    Right now, Regice and Regigigas are available, so you could rewrite your character for that Legend.
     
  20. Chili

    Chili Well-Known Member

    Okay. So I lost? :(
     

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