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Psycho's Shift (PG-14)

Foo Fighter

Nostalgia is my pal
Yay for first Fics! This fic is rated PG-14 for some gross and suggestive scenes. I've blocked out all the bad words with *s, so just use you imagination.
(I know you can.)
Another thing, when I use the symbol, *~P.S.~*, that simply means it's a new time/character view point. Anything in Italics means it is a character thinking.
So, without further ado I cautiously present....

Psycho's Shift


Chapter one: My poor brain

In a hospital in Saffron city, a young boy is carried on a stretcher towards the surgery room.

His eyes slowly opened and a low moan came from his mouth.

“What’s his status doctor?” He vaguely hears a nurse ask.

“He’s suffered severe head trauma and a…” The voices cut in and out.

“…oken bones….” “….. Brain directly hit and then…” “…after fell, it’s a miracle he….”

Looking over in a passing mirror he sees himself, brain exposed and blood caked all over his brown hair and jacket. Another moan is heard from him as he lays his head back down and closes his pained blue eyes.

*~P.S.~*​
The doctor that operated Samuel walked out of the surgery room, blood covering his hands. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’ve done well doctor. I can’t believe he’s still alive.” A passing nurse complimented.

“… Yes, but I’ve no clue as to his mental state.” He said. “His brain was practically split in two.”

The nurse paused for a bit. “… What happened?” She asked. She almost didn’t want to know.

“Samuel was competing in a local battling tournament and got hit by a psychic attack from a very powerful Noctowl and then fell off of his podium. It was almost 3 stories high.” He said. “It’s a shame really. Whole thing could’ve been avoided if the sponsors of the tournament had had better safety precautions.”

“Oh…... well, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” She said, not eager to find out more. She knew that it was likely that he would not be alright. Humans weren’t designed to handle the fierce attacks of Pokémon.

She’d once seen a video on the internet of a man being attacked by a Urasing. The Urasing had thrown the man around like a ragdoll before completely shredding him into pieces with a simple scratch attack. Ironically, the man in the video was trying to show his son how peaceful Pokémon were.

The nurse shuddered before heading off to check on another patient.

*~P.S.~*​

Samuel sat up in his hospital bed at night. He looked around his room, it was cramped with only a window and a door. Instead of his usual blue jeans and t-shirt he wore a hospital gown.

It was cold, and Samuel was still drowsy when outside of his window a Noctowl appeared.

…The hell does this thing want…

Samuel looked around the room, and then turned back to the Noctowl.

“Go on! Get outa’ here!” He said, trying to get the owl Pokémon to leave.

Just then another Noctowl showed up, and another, and another. They kept piling up at Samuel’s window until he couldn’t even see outside. Then their eyes all lit up blood red and their beaks flashed open.

“Help! HELP!” He screamed. He was desperately pushing the “Call Nurse” button.

Then all the Noctowl flew away, just as the nurse walked in.

“What is it! What’s wrong?” She questioned with a worried face.

“I! It’s the, the… I guess it’s nothing. …” He babbled.

I must be imagining things.

“Uh…, how are you?” He put on his best smile.

“Don’t you ever do that again! That button is an emergency tool! Not a plaything for reckless teenagers!” She said, storming off.

Samuel sighed.

Well, at least those creepy *** Noctowl are gone.

Almost on cue, the Noctowls all burst through Samuel’s window screeching with delight.

“AHH! Nurse! Nurse!” He fleetingly yelled.

The Noctowls all perched themselves on Samuel.

They stared at him and their eyes lit up once more. They were bloodthirsty, glaring at Samuel with hungry eyes.

Then, almost systematically, they began pecking at his skull, tearing at his feeble flesh, undoing the stitches from his surgery. He felt the blood begin to drabble down his face.

“Ahh! Get offa’ me!” He howled, flailing his arms like a madman.

This is not happening! Oh dear God I don’t wanna’ die! Why me!?

Fear and pain were overtaking every sense his body had. Then, as quickly as it had begun, it stopped. The Noctowls looked satisfied and flew off back out the window and into the night with beaks covered in gobbets of Samuel's flesh.

“Nurse, please…” He cried, jamming the nurse button. Blood draining from the top of his head.

Samuel then felt something odd, the opened flesh on the top of Samuel’s skull was moving. It slithered around and Samuel felt like a rat was crawling all over his brain. Then a face burst out of the top of his head, squealing with angst.

He finally woke up.

“AH!” He cried bursting up from his hospital bed.

His mother was at the edge of his bed, with a terrified face.

“Sweetie! What’s wrong!?” She asked, jumping to Samuel’s side.

“It was…” Samuel looked around at his room. He peered at the window, searching for anything.

“A nightmare, just a bad dream.” He said with his whole body shaking.

“Aww, sweetie don’t be worried, you just go back to sleep.” She cooed.

“I don’t know mom...” He said looking up at his mother.

Samuel’s mom was a bit taller than Samuel, standing at roughly five and a half feet. Her eyes were a deep brown along with her long hair. She wore a plain white t-shirt with tight fitting jeans.

“When is dad coming?” Samuel asked.

His mother got a cold look on her face.

“He’s coming,” she said almost bitterly. “Right now he has work to do.”

“Oh…” Samuel sighed.

He’s never here is he? *******. Always at his job…

Then a knock was heard from the door. A tall man in a black suit walked in, Eyes covered by sunglasses with straight black hair carrying a briefcase.

“Hello Ms. Archain. I’m Lucas Kryeg from Snyder Corp., the sponsors of the tournament where Samuel had his,” He peered over at Samuel with an emotionless face “… accident.” He said,

“I’m here to talk about the legal issues of our involvement in this tragedy.” He said with a grim disposure.
___________________________---End Chapter One---_________________

Not a lot of stuff revealed here story wise but please give some CC or the man eating Noctowls will find you.
(And yes things do get more exciting, trust me.)
 
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SapphireRose

Morning☼Sun
Whoa.

My first reaction is whoa.

xD

I've seen your posts on the Fic Ideas thread in Author's Café and read your sample thing and stuff, but I never expected it to be like this.

Almost horror, kinda thriller.

I like it.

I sorta wanted to scream at the part where it was just a nightmare. Beautifully written, excellent job.

I'm hooked. :D

Keep up with this, I'm glad to say I'll be sticking around. Definitely worth it.

One thing, though.

“He’s coming,she said almost bitterly. “Right now he has work to do.”

I noticed you used periods at the end of your quotes. This is not the correct method. Use a comma instead of periods and lowercase first letter afterward, like above. The exception would be if there's no 'she said' after the speech like this:

"He's coming."

Okay?

Besides that, there was nothing else wrong that I saw. Granted, I was rushing through as I do with all fics that really get me interested. Anyway, good job and I'll be back sometime.

~BM

P.S. May not review every chapter, so if you don't see my post, don't freak out. ^^;
 

Foo Fighter

Nostalgia is my pal
Blue Mew: Thanks for the review. I kinda messed up on that whole "He's Coming." part, but whatever.

Anyways, i'm glad you liked it!
Almost horror, kinda thriller.
Horror/Thriller was exactly what I was going for! :D
I'm hooked.

Keep up with this, I'm glad to say I'll be sticking around. Definitely worth it.
Does that mean you want to be put on the PM list? I'll be updating this story pretty consistently.

(Heh, all the google ads are talking about Traumatic brain damage.)
 
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SapphireRose

Morning☼Sun
Horror/Thriller was exactly what I was going for! :D

Perfect!! xD

Foo Fighter said:
Does that mean you want to be put on the PM list? I'll be updating this story pretty consistently.

(Heh, all the google ads are talking about Traumatic brain damage.)

Yes, please! If you don't want to 'cause I'm the only one on it so far, it doesn't matter because I get on this site every day and purposely check Fan Fiction, so if you want to, sure.

Google advertises according to what is searched. They read emails and searches and advertise according to what is sent/searched. There was a big thing in the news about it a while ago, actually.

~BM
 

Foo Fighter

Nostalgia is my pal
Yes, please! If you don't want to 'cause I'm the only one on it so far, it doesn't matter because I get on this site every day and purposely check Fan Fiction, so if you want to, sure.
Cool. I'll add you anyways because... I want to. Chapter 2 will be coming up soon. Probably late tommorow.

Google advertises according to what is searched. They read emails and searches and advertise according to what is sent/searched. There was a big thing in the news about it a while ago, actually.

I know, but i find it funny when an ad says:
Originally shown by a Google Ad
Hunting For Traumatic Brain Damage? Get Started the RIGHT Way.
XD
 

Diddy

Renegade
YAY!

You put it up, and the start was alright.

although...

In a hospital in Saffron city,

I found the starting sentence a bit odd, it could have been better.

He finally woke up.

This could have been better as well. It all seemed a bit robotic, arg noctowl, arg they're ripping off my flesh, oh wait it was a dream. Thats what it came off as.

Samuel’s mom was a bit taller than Samuel

That second Samuel is redundant. Samuel's mum was a bit taller than he was. works better. Get some Pronoun usage in there so you don't have to keep repeating names.

And a final yay note for the greasy lawyer at the end. I like my legal drama. I also like my brain trauma.

Despite these things mentioned it was a great start to a great premise. =]

I will keep reading and addition to a list of Private Messaging would be most enjoyable on my part.
 

Foo Fighter

Nostalgia is my pal
Update!

Sorry for so long in not updating. Stupid mid-terms plus stupider stomach flu.
Anyways there is one more symbol you need to know about.
<><PS><> That means that Samuel has just undergone a shift. You'll see it in this chapter. :D
So, without further ado, I hesitantly present...

Chapter 2: Still

Lucas Kryeg set down his briefcase.

“Ms. Archain I know things are tough for you right now, but you can’t avoid this. We need to come to some kind of legal compromise.” The businessman said.

Samuel’s mother huffed a bit and gave a dark glare.

“**** you.” She said, an angry southern accent arising. “This is all your reckless company’s fault. I aint compromising anything.” She said.

Then Samuel’s mother jumped up and got right in Lucas’ face.

“Because we’re suing you for every penny you got!” She said. “It just so happens my boy's daddy is one of the best lawyers out there and he’s gonna’ put you in the mud! So say good bye to your fancy private jets and go ahead and buy a bus pass.” She said.

Lucas Kryeg didn’t move a muscle. He only repositioned his sunglasses.

“Ms. Archain you need to be more careful.” He said, getting up from his seat.

Samuel sat up in his bed and stared at Lucas with concerned eyes, Mr. Kryeg was circling Samuel’s mother like a hungry lion.

“Snyder Corp. is a very big business, we have connections to almost every single thing you use in daily life. Electricity, water, the police, you name it.” He said, moving in closer. “Everything.”

“Don’t try to intimidate me Mr. Kryeg.” She said defiantly.

Lucas finally stopped. He was inches away from Samuel’s mother now.

“I’m going to ask you one more time. Will you at least try to compromise with our company?” Lucas offered through bared teeth.

Samuel’s mother narrowed her eyes.

“Compromise with the company who ruined my baby’s chance at a normal life?” She growled. “Uh-uh, you just fly on back to your fancy company and tell Mr. Snyder that he’s goin' down.”

“Its ignorant statements like that that got you that horrible wound on the back of your head.” Lucas snarled.

Samuel’s mom’s brown eyes widened in shock.

Lucas Kryeg took hold of Samuel’s mother’s face, and slammed her head onto the metal hospital bed. A horrible crunch was heard, but there was no scream, only the sound of blood starting to drip to the floor.

For the first time since Samuel saw him, Lucas Kryeg smiled.

Just then the door burst open and another man in a black suit rushed in. He looked angry.

Samuel’s eyes were darting between Lucas, his mother, and the new man that had just walked in. He was in complete shock

Samuel shook his head. “Mom!” He screamed.

What! Wait. No, now. Go. RUN! No stay, they’ll kill you if you run. DAD! ****! ****!
His mind buzzed from thought to thought, completely disabled.

The man that had just entered started yelling.

“What the **** is wrong with you! I said don’t kill anybody!” He screamed.

Lucas gritted his teeth.

“We’re not going to get caught! Plus she was being a ****.” He replied.

“******.” The new man said. “Help me clean up this blood, we gotta’ make sure it looks like nothing happened.”

Then Samuel grabbed his head. It was numb.

What the hell…

He closed his eyes.

<><PS><>

Everything was blocked out from his mind. It was just him.

Every part of his body had gone numb.

All of his senses were dulled.

He could tell something was happening.

Suddenly he saw someone else.


He examined them only to find it was himself.

He moved his arms, but the Samuel he saw didn’t.

Then a word popped into his head.

Shift. This is a… shift. What kind of shift.

The Samuel he was looking at opened his eyes and spoke.

“A psycho’s shift.” The new Samuel grinned devilishly.
 

Diddy

Renegade
Eh, kinda short. But it was good.

Though I do stress the shortness, it could have been fleshed out more, a lot more methinks.

I do still think that it was good though, the shift was handled well.

and one last thing, everytime I see your username I get the tune to Everlong in my head. atleast it's a good tune.
 

Foo Fighter

Nostalgia is my pal
Diddy:Thanks.
I know it was a tad short. I'm starting to realize I could add a lot more deatails to things.
Right now I'm going through my notebook that has the Fic in it and I'm revising the future chapters. I'll probably go back and revise this chapter, but first I wanna get the other ones fixed and then come back to these two.

Everlong is a good tune. I'm glad I made you think of it.

PM List:
Blue Mew22
Diddy

Two people is great, but you think with 198 view I would have some more comments. (<--hint)
 
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