• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

R.E.M. | G.A.T.E. (Poem)

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
I'm not one much for poetry, but I had some for my Creative Writing class, so I thought I might as well share. ^^' All comments, critique, etc. will be greatly appreciated.


R.E.M. | G.A.T.E.

When the day flashes lapis-gossamer
in the star-blown sky,
I lie awake and wonder things
while the silent cat-clock's tail thrashes in reply,
counting missing moments
that have unknowingly ticked by.

My eyes waver, and they close
I see light breaking through the hallowed clouds
of darkness mixed with rainbow Catherine wheels.
Disfigured colors, where black is white:
a picture of Picasso artistry-
Ah! Such a marvelous sight!

Then I see starlight, vague images of fleeting shadows,
where houses have no name.
It's a quiet town with thin-waxed candles
with a single, unmarked grave, grazed by winter's chill.
They wait for the spring that is to come
with its immortal daffodils.

I wonder, then, if my hand should hold a sword,
or perhaps a bow or scythe,
as I come upon an ancient castle,
where magic must reside.
Within, I'll fight the fierce chimeras
and ride the pegasi.

But it is then,
I suddenly realize,
That I really should be building
my castle in the sky,
where dreams are made of dreams
and never do they die.

But I'm walking on grass now,
(and the sky seems so far away)
My thoughts seem forever trivial,
as light as a cool spring day.
Everything is nothing now,
like a child’s honest play.

The scenery is now familiar
I think that I am home, perhaps this time to stay,
Laughing children, familiar faces,
mouths open as if to say,
to come and walk with them once more,
just like yesterday.

Then, that light appears again,
with it's stunning Catherine wheels
and hypnotizing rainbows.
I fight, but lose the battle against the pulling shine--
I jerk and thrash and throw my head upright
into the territory that is mine.

There's no more grass, no more sky
and no more thin-waxed candles,
just a quiet, monochrome world,
where everything is as it seems.
It is then, and only then, that I wonder
if perhaps this is a dream.​
 
Last edited:

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Be warned, I suck profoundly at reviewing poems since I know not a darned thing about them. XD I just know what I like, and I liked that. It had nice vocabulary and good rhymes to it, and overall just a cool concept.

And, as with pretty much all poems I read, there was something in it in particular that just grabbed my attention:

But it is then,
I suddenly realize,
That I really should be building
my castle in the sky,
where dreams are made of dreams
and never do they die.​

I like that. It kind of reflects a thought I have pretty often, actually.


So, I guess I should not only applaud you for writing this and posting it, but also the Creative Writing class for setting this assignment on you in the first place, no? XD Well, I hope to see more poetry out of you, because this piece turned out quite nicely. ^^
 
Top