Random Encounters with Missingno!

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 20- A Random Flame


Cassandra stumbles out of the cave door, holding Weedy safely against her shoulder. She looks around quickly before turning back to examine the opening.


Missingno walks out while humming. He looks at Cassandra, at the exit, and back to her. “What are you doing?”


“I swear, I was just climbing a ladder. And then I found myself walking out of here. What happened in between?”


“I… don’t understand.”


She sighs. “You never do.” She looks at the direction of Cerulean City. “I think we have a few hours before the sun sets. We should try and make it by then.”


“You think? Why don’t we just turn around and determine the exact meteorological time based on the current position of the sun?” He turns around and freezes.


“What time does the mountain blocking our way say it is?”


“92 and a half.”


Cassandra shakes her head and walks off. The sun is behind Mt. Moon, so a gentle shadow envelops the slight hills that follow Route 4. There are some stairs, but for some reason they are spaced in different areas, so she just jumps up the short ledges. As she passes one small field, a small shine pulls her attention.


She bends down to find a disk lying in the grass. “What is this?”


Missingno peers over her shoulder. “That is probably the WORST TM… ever... of all time.”


“Wait, what is it?”


“Whirlwind, the Repel/escape button of pokemon moves.”


“Aren’t Repels extremely useful?”


“Yeah, as an item. Who would waste a move on a useless, worthless, wasteful, crazy, random, explosion obsessed, stick-eating, ridiculous-”


“Don’t you have a mountain to look at?”


He smiles widely. “You’re right!” He turns back towards the mountain and stares deeply at it.


She picks up the TM to flip it over and back. “Waste not, want not.” She zips open the front pocket of her bag but freezes. “Missingno, when did that hammer come from?”


“The one from last chapter? I put it there sometime around Viridian Forest.”


She leers at him. “When exactly?”


“I don’t quite remember, but about 3.28849438493028484923012 seconds before you smashed the Nidoking.”


He tries to give the biggest smile, but she just rolls her eyes.


When they finally make it to Cerulean, Cassandra falls to her knees.


“It’s late, the sun is setting, you’ve been ridiculous all day, and now this?!”


“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. The ‘city’ is just on fire, that’s all.”


“I don’t know about wherever you come from, but towns being on fire is not normal here.”


“Don’t worry. It wasn’t normal there either… Usually.” He smiles brightly.


“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”


“No, but this might.” He holds up a Great Ball.


“Where did you find that?”


“It was buried deep into one of the cliffsides. Why and how someone did that, I have no clue.”


“Will it light on fire like other Pokeballs?”


“... Yes.”


She sighs heavily. “Then it’s worthless to me.”


Missingno shrugs and throws it far over his shoulder. It flies into a patch of tall grass and hits a Sandshrew. It rolls a few times before clicking.


Missingno caught a Sandshrew!


Cassandra glares at him. “Even you can catch Pokemon!”


“I’ll tell you what, you can have this one.”


“Wait, really?! I can’t throw empty Pokeballs, but if there is already a Pokemon inside, it works, right?”


“Yup. So, do do you have a Link Cable?”


“A what?” She raises an eyebrow.


“You don’t have one? Too bad…”


“Can’t you just give it to me?” She reaches out to take the Pokeball, but Missingno pulls it away. She tries several times to take it from him, but he continues to keep it just out of reach. “Just. Give. It. To. ME!” Each word comes with another failed attempt.


“Sorry. No can do. And I only have a Zelda Cable, so…” He shrugs.


“I still have no clue what you are talking about! Weedy, now!”


During the struggle, Weedy had crept up Missingno’s back undetected. At the signal, he leaps for the Great Ball.


At the last second, Missingno tosses it into his mouth. After he swallows, he gives a hearty laugh.


Cassandra slumps to her knees, shoulders limp. The sigh that escapes her is the heaviest so far.


Wow, this is my 2nd favorite story, right after Twilight.


“We can’t be friends anymore.”


WHAT?!






(Really, I have nothing against Twilight. This part is simply to teach Missingno a valuable lesson.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 21- A Random Narrator


Um… Hello. This is another chapter of Random Encounters with-


“They already know all that.”


Right… um, I’m the new narrator.


“Cause the last one was a horrible person with a corrupted mind and a desire to destroy our friendship.”


He just said that he liked Twilight.


“That’s what I just said. What, do you like it too?”


No!... please let me keep my job.


Cassandra walks past him. “Stop talking to yourself, and let’s go.”


Phew. Saved by the MC...


“You know whispering doesn’t help when I can read it, right?”


… Right…


Missingno catches up with Cassandra and points forward. “TO CERULEAN!”


Cassandra points forward as well. “TO PUTTING OUT THE FLAMES!”


“WE CAN DO THAT TOO!”


Weedy can’t talk, but from Cassandra’s shoulder he points forward with his head spike as well.


Cassandra walks into town, completely unaware of what has already transpired. They walk around, viewing the uncaring citizens. Not only do they not notice that their buildings are on fire, but they are as well. The sun has already set, and the flames give the town a bath of warm light.


Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Something is wrong here.”


“Yeah, we already went over this. The town is on fire.”


“Yeah, but nothing is burning.”


“Wait, you didn’t know that, but you still took your time getting here?”


She turns towards him. “You still confuse me, but if there is one thing I have learned about you, it’s that you will never fool around when others are in danger.”


Missingno is watching the fire, eating a roasted potato. He turns back toward her. “What did you say?”


She sighs and walks up to a sign that is on fire. She moves her hand up to it and her brow furrows. She takes a deep breath and plunges her hand in.


“I didn’t know you had a desire to burn yourself.” She jumps as Missingno appears over her shoulder.


“The fire didn’t have any heat, and just as I thought, it doesn’t hurt or spread.” She holds up her arm, completely uneffected.


“So… They stole my idea!?” He turns to the fire, nostrils flaring. “How dare you! I made that up first! Way back when I purposefully made it happen to Cassandra’s Pokeballs!” He looks back at her. “Accidentally, of course.”


She rolls her eyes and walks off. “Let’s find this glitch so we can get some sleep.”


“I don’t know, that Lawyer over there is pretty suspicious.”


The Lawyer in question waves at them.


“Come on.” She grabs his shirt by the back of the collar and drags him off.


He glares at the Lawyer. “I’m watching you.”


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Missingno looks up with half open eyes. “... So, why are we in front of the gym?”


Cassandra shrugs. “Last time, the glitch was at the Pewter gym, so I thought we should start searching here.” She enters the gym.


Missingno slumps in behind her and calls out in a casual manner. “Hey-yo.” He gives a half-hearted wave.


Inside, Misty and the assistant are cleaning the water. Misty looks up, blinking rapidly. She turns to her assistant. “How many times do I have to tell you! When we close, you need to put up the sign and lock the door.”


Instead of looking up, the assistant breaks into a cold sweat.


“Are you listening to me?”


“I-I’m sorry! I’ll go do that now!” He stands up, but he still keeps his eyes on the floor.


“Too late now. They are already inside.”


“I’m really sorry!”


As they are arguing, Cassandra notices Missingno being strange.


“Which is normal for me. Come on, man. Perfect chance for a joke.”


“What are you doing?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow at him.


Missingno has his face pressed up against the Rhydon statue. “I’m watching the Pokemon that live in here.”


“In where?”


“The statue.”


“There are pokemon in there?” She tries to look into the statue, but it is just rock. “I don’t get it.”


“Well, you can fish in any statue in any gym, but only here is there Pokemon in the water.”


“Uh…”


“Don’t you have to deal with them?” Missingno points to Misty and her assistant, who are still arguing.


Cassandra loudly clears her throat. “Excuse me?”


Misty turns to Cassandra. “I’m sorry, I already sent the other trainers home. We are just about done cleaning too.”


“I know, but we really need to do this today.”


Misty puts her hands on her hips. “Alright, I can give you a battle today. Give me a second to get ready. How many badges do you have so far?”


Missingno perks up. “Hey, why are you only talking to her?!”


Misty pulls out a set of two Pokeballs. “She seems like the more mature one.”


Cassandra smiles. “She’s got you there.”


“Whatever. Just do your Pokemon battle already.” He sits down and pouts.


The trainers move into place on opposite sides of the boardwalk. As they do, Misty pulls out a Pokeball and smiles. “I always ask this of new trainers, but what is your approach when you catch Pokemon? My policy is an all-out offensive with water-type Pokemon! Go, Staryu!”


Cassandra fixes her hat before she points at the opponent. “Weedy, let’s get’em!”


Weedy runs along her extended arm and leaps at the opponent.


Water bubbles up from Staryu’s top limb, and Weedy builds power into his horn. Their resolve ready, they attack.






(Didn't expect to make an actual fight scene, but it is coming. Just you wait. Also, you really can fish in any statue, cause they somehow count as fishing spots. But in any other Gym, you won't get any nibbles.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 22- A Random Webbing


Enemy Staryu used Water Gun!


Weedy used Poison Sting!


Water shoots from the top of Staryu’s limb. Although it hurts him a little, Weedy splits right through it. Before he can hit his target, it shoots more water from a side limb, moving out of the way. Weedy pierces into the wood.


“You’ll have to do better than that!”


“We plan to. Weedy, use String Shot on the ceiling!” The sticky webbing hits the roof, but he doesn’t disconnect it. “Ha, now you can’t hit us!”


“Oh, really? Staryu, Tackle!”


Staryu used Tackle!


The Staryu rushes Weedy while spinning. The attack hits and sends Weedy flying. The webbing pulls and sends him upwards. He spins, wrapping himself up until he is swinging in the air.


Cassandra smiles. “Now, String Shot!”


Weedy shoots webbing down at the Staryu, trying to slow it down. It moves around, but Weedy is persistent enough to hit it a few times.


“Staryu, forget defence, just use Water Gun!”


The Staryu stops, and is hit a couple times, but it shoots Weedy with a stream of water. Weedy rocks a bit, but is strong enough to continue.


“Cut the thread!”


Weedy nods, reaches up, and uses his spike to release himself. He falls quickly toward his opponent.


Weedy used Poison Sting!


Critical hit!


Weedy hits the Staryu’s core and sends it back at its trainer. It hits the ground and falls limp.


Enemy Staryu Fainted!


Misty returns her Pokemon, and Weedy returns to his trainer. It takes a while with the sticky webbing still wrapped around his body, but he finally makes it. Cassandra pulls out two Potions and heals him. She smiles and gives him a thumbs up. He wags his head estatically.


He is hit by a stream of water, and is pushed into the water. Cassandra looks up to see Misty’s Starmie.


Misty smirks. “Sorry, this is a battle.”


Cassandra looks around. “Where is Weedy?”


She finds him swimming around in the water by squirming back and forth like a snake.


Missingno jumps a little. “Or a centipede! Did you know those things can swim like that?! It is extremely creepy!”


“What? More importantly, what is going on with the webbing?”


As he swims, the webbing around his body just melts away.


“... You know that a mixture of water and chlorine will melt sticky spider webs, right?”


Cassandra smiles. “Luck is with us now. Weedy, let’s finish this!”


Weedy swims to a wooden post, and swings his back spike into the wood. He then launches himself up and out of the water. The two Pokemon stare each other down… as much as a Weedle and Starmie can…


“Finally, a joke!”


They rush into action. Weedy tries to attack with Poison Sting, but Starmie backs off and counterattacks with Bubblebeam. This goes on for a while, neither getting the upper hand, until Starmie moves to a wrong spot.


Starmie feels pressure under itself, and looks to see a patch of sticky webbing. Weedy had placed lots of it around during the last battle, and Starmie is now caught.


“Weedy, full out offensive!”


Starmie prepares itself, but he has already moved to its back. There is no escape now.


Weedy used Poison Sting!


Starmie used Harden!


Weedy used Poison Sting!


Starmie used Harden!


Weedy used Poison Sting!


Barrage after barrage is sent, and although Starmie hardens its defence, it finally falls to the floor.


Enemy Starmie Fainted!


You beat Misty!






(Wow. An actual fight. I didn't even see it coming until I wrote it. Hurrah for gym #2.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 23- A Random Reconciliation


“YEAH!” Cassandra and Weedy jump in the air.


“Wow! You’re too much! You can have the Cascadebadge to show you beat me!” Misty hands her the badge and TM 11. “Not sure if you can use this, but Bubblebeam is a great mid-ranged move.”


Cassandra hands it over her shoulder, where Missingno grabs it with his teeth and eats it whole.


Cassandra bows. “Thank you for the opportunity.”


They leave, but the town is still on fire.


“I thought for sure that it would work.”


“Why? Because Misty was acting like a human and not a machine? This isn’t completely the game.”


Near the Pokemart, a Rhydon, on fire, turns to them and cries out. “Slowbro!”


“... Okay, so it is still kind of the game. But the glitch wasn’t with Misty.”


“So, where is it?”


“My money's still on the Lawyer.” He stares at the Lawyer standing by the Pokecenter. “Why don’t I go stab him to make sure.”


“Woah, woah, woah. That is NOT a good idea.” She holds him back as much as possible.


“Excuse me.” An old lady walks up to them. In one hand she holds a handpurse, and in the other is a bag of groceries. She smiles softly. “Is everything okay?”


Cassandra returns her smile. “Um, I know you don’t understand, but the town is on fire, and we are trying to fix it.”


“Yeah, I’m going to try and kill that Lawyer.”


“NO, you are NOT!”


The old woman looks at them. “Why?”


Cassandra sighs. “Please, don’t encourage him. Killing someone that we don’t-”


The woman shakes her head and looks at Missingno. “Why would you do that?”


Missingno’s eyebrows raise. “Oh. Well, he is a lawyer, so something like lighting everything on fire seems right up his alley.”


The old woman hits him with her purse.


“What was that for?!”


“Don’t be stereotypical. You think that just because the Lawyer is a lawyer, that he is a horrible person?”


“What if he is?”


“Then he is both a bad person and a lawyer.” As the old woman talks, Missingno looks down and bites his lip . “You need to understand that not everyone is the same, so to put a label on someone you don’t know is unacceptable.”


Or putting one on someone you do know.


“Old Narrator, is that you?! Hey, I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” Missingno hangs his head. “If you like Twilight, that’s fine with me.”


Oh my helix fossil, does that mean that you will read it? And New Moon? I have all the movies, we can have an epic marathon and-


Missingno puts up a hand. “Don’t push it.”


Sorry.


"That’s ok. It’s just good to have you back. Your replacement was so boring, that I had to be the smart one, and I didn’t even feel like messing around with Cassandra’s battle.”


Yeah, that was very unlike you.


Cassandra calls out to Missingno. “Hey, this nice lady said we can stay the night at her place.”


“Perfect. Let me just take care of this.” He turns to the side. “Hey, remember how you talked about explosions, like, 8 chapters ago? And you said it would happen, eventually?”


Yeah, why do you… ooooh.


The Lawyer explodes. When the smoke clears, he is gone along with all the fire. Missingno smirks and puffs out his chest.


Cassandra punches him in his puffed out chest. “I thought we said to leave him alone!” She surveys the town. “Wait, was he the glitch?”


“Of course.” He cringes at her glare. “But not because he was a lawyer, but because he was a Lawyer.”


“... What am I missing?”


“If you could see the capitalization, it would be easier.” He smiles. “There isn’t any Lawyer trainer class, duh.” He skips up to the old woman, takes her outstretched hand, and waits for Cassandra to shake off the confusion and follow.






(See? I have nothing against Twilight or Lawyers. And now, neither does Missingno.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 24- A Random Home


The trio pass by the Pokecenter and head to the long house next door. They enter the front door into the front room. The main pieces of the room are a couple of bookcases along the back wall and a large table centered in the middle. An old man stands in front of one of the bookcases, looking over all the Pokemon books. Plants adorned the front corners to finish the feel of the room.


The old woman places the groceries bag on the table and slowly eases into a chair. She releases a long sigh as she relaxes.


“Uh, honey?” The old man turns away from the bookcase and rubs his chin. “Did we have more kids? How did you hide the pregnant weight?... And the births?... And over 15 years?... Wait… No, I still don’t know how you did that, you little ninja bunny.”


The old woman puts her head in her hand. “I’m sorry for my husband’s insanity. He likes to trade Pokemon, but he doesn’t really know what he is doing.”


“What are you talking about? I traded a Jinx for a Poliwhirl, then traded my Poliwhirl for a Dragonite. I then traded that for a Vaporeon, then a Butterfree, an Ekans, a Vulpix, a Magneton, a Zapdos, a Nidoking, an Omastar, a Venomoth, a Lapras, a Pidgeot, and just recently I traded that for a Jinx. Do you have a Poliwhirl you want to trade?”


“No, all I have is my Weedle. Do you have a Poliwhirl, Missingno?”


“Well, yes. But I don’t want to trade for a Jinx. That thing is weird.”


Cassandra looks around the room. “Do you have a kitchen? Or somewhere to sleep?”


The old woman smiles. She pulls herself to her feet and walks to the east wall. With a push of a button, the wall opens up, revealing a hallway. “Secret passageway.”


Missingno laughs. “Come on, Cassandra. This house is way too long for it to be just one room.”


“Right. Silly me.”


The old woman beacons. “Let me show you around. Don’t forget the groceries.”


Weedy lifts the bag and follows Missingno and the old woman. Cassandra groans, but still decides to check around.


She looks into the kitchen. “Um, is there someplace I can place my bag?”


“Why do you carry around such a big bag? A small messanger bag would be better, my dear.”


“Yeah, Cassandra. It would be so much lighter.”


Cassandra rolls her eyes. “Okay, Missingno. I should just get a bag that won’t fit everything we need in it.”


“Good to know you agree with me. Is there anything I can do to help, Grandma?”


“Is she your grandmother?”


The old woman laughs. “I told him to call me that. It makes me feel good to be called ‘Grandma’ again. You can call me that too.”


“Okay… Grandma.” Grandma smiles.


The old man pops in. “Ooh, can I be ‘Grandpa’?”


Missingno glares at him. “No. You are now Steve.”


Steve sighs. “Okay.” He slips back into the other room.


“Umm… not to interrupt this great moment, but…” Cassandra holds up the bag.


“Sorry dear. You can put it on the last bedroom on the right. Or was it left? If it is full of Pokemon books, that’s the wrong room”


Cassandra leaves to drop off her stuff, and Missingno smiles at Grandma. “Look, I cut up the carrots into my face.”


Grandma smiles and dumps the bowl of face-carrots in the garbage. “Thanks. Can you finish stirring the pancake batter.”


He salutes. “Yes, ma’am.”


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Missingno flops down on one of the beds in the guest room. “I ate SOOOOO many waffles.”


Cassandra sits on the other. “Yeah, I still don’t know how you did that with a plate of only pancakes.” She moves to allow Weedy to crawl off her shoulder, and onto a Weedle-sized bed.


Missingno smiles. “Glitch power.”


“Speaking of which, is Grandma a glitch?”


“No, she is just a person.”


“But she called you out on all your nonsense.”


“That’s because she is an awesome person. So I obviously had no other choice but to name her ‘Grandma.”


She rolls her eyes. “I’m tired. Let’s just go to bed.”


“Alright, I’ll get the lights.” He claps twice.


“... Nothing happened.”


“What are you talking about? It totally worked.”


“... Your eyes are closed.”


“So they are. Let me try again. They say that third time’s the charm.” He fires a slingshot at the lights, knocking them all out…. He then fires again for good measure.


“I don’t even know where to begin.” She shakes her head and lays down. She watches the crescent moon outside her window as she drifts off.






(Grandma is awesome. And if you know about Twitch Plays Pokemon Red, I hope you noticed something about the Pokemon that Steve has traded for. XD

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 25- A Random Officer


After a wonderful breakfast prepared by Grandma, the gang gets ready to head out again. Missingno, Cassandra and Weedy stand outside the house as they say a last goodbye.


“I will miss you.” Grandma struggles to keep her smile from breaking.


Cassandra gives her a final hug… again. “We’ll miss you too.”


Grandma hands her a large, spiky crystal. “Don’t tell Steve, but I stole this from his stash. It’s a going away present.”


“Can I hold onto it?” Missingno pulls out sparkling eye stickers and slaps them on as he looks at them beggingly.


“Sure.” Grandma smiles and turns back to Cassandra. “Make sure he doesn’t eat it, okay?”


“Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can guarantee that.”


Missingno doesn’t hear her as he stares at his new crystal. “Come on, Cassandra. We need to start moving.”


“If you try to rush us, we will stab you.” She glares at him.


“That would hurt!”


Grandma laughs. “Oh, you’ll be fine.”


Cassandra smiles at her. “I wish we could stay.”


Grandma shakes her head. “You have an extremely important job to do, right? Go, before I change my mind.”


“What are you gonna do? Lock us up in your basement until we are brainwashed?” He laughs.


“Don’t tempt me.”


“... Right, tell Steve we say goodbye, and good luck with the Pokemon trading.”


They wave as they walk away, Weedy struggling to keep up with his short crawl span. Grandma wipes away a tear and waves back. “Goodbye. Take care. Listen to your older sister.”


Cassandra raises an eyebrow, but they are heading up some stairs and out of her sight. She thinks about what Grandma just said. Missingno may act like a toddler, but physically he looks maybe 1 or 2 years older than her. To be mistaken as the older one seems weird.


Missingno stops by the river to wave at the man on the other bank. “Hello Super Afro Guy!” The man has a ridiculously tall afro, and waves back at them.


“Who is that?”


“He looks cool, right? Too bad once you beat the Elite Four, he cuts it all off. Oh, and a cave appears with no connection to the last thing.”


“Sure.” With all the talk of hair, she looks at Missingno’s grey hair. As a breeze passes through, she notices that both lighter and darker shades spackle throughout… it…


“WAIT!” Her outburst startles him. “What happened to your hair?!”


“What do you mean?”


“It used to be… light brown?” She scrunches up her face, struggling to remember.


“Yeah, but in Pewter City, I decided to be more myself. So after I melted, I changed my hair.”


“I never noticed.” She scrunches up even more. “Why didn’t I notice? Are you affecting my memories too?”


Missingno shrugs. “Have we really not mentioned that anytime in the last 13 chapters?”


Yeah, I just looked over them, and she didn’t notice, so there was no good place we could slip it in.


She glares at him. “What else have you made me think?”


He chuckles and holds up a pokedollar. “I don’t know, do you believe this is real money?”


“Yes…. No?... I don’t know anymore.” She throws her hands and walks away. “Where are we going, anyway?”


“Well, the people of this town let a tree grow in the only exit, and the plot won’t let us jump over the fence, so we have to find another way.”


“What other way?”


“Well, we utilize a ruined house.” He breaks into a full on sprint. Straight ahead is a police officer standing in front of a door. Missingno runs into him without moving him an inch.


Missingno used Strength!

After some struggled grunting from Missingno, the officer notices him.


“What are you doing?”


“I need to get in. You are in the way.”


“Excuse me?!”


“I’m not afraid of you! I have no reason to be. I never break any laws, EVER.… because I am deathly afraid of the 5 total cops in Kanto.” He ends up squirming at the end. “The others aren’t here, are they?”


Cassandra pulls him back by his collar. “I’m really sorry about him.” She drags him away a few steps. “What do you think you are doing?”


“I’m fighting THE MAN, man.”


Are you talking about the government, or just this particular guy?


“Yes.”


Respect.


Cassandra shakes her head. “Let’s just go. Look, there is a fence we can jump over. Simple, easy, and we’ll be on our way.”


“You’re right.”


A man walks up to them. “You should buy a bike.”


“You’re right.”


“No. No you shouldn’t. We should leave.”


“You’re right.”


Missingno, the plot says you can’t do that yet.


“You’re right.” He picks up Weedy, who had finally caught up, and walks away. “To Nugget Bridge!”


“Wait. Missingno! It’s right here. We can move on. MISSINGNO!” She runs after them.







(Curse you plot and your controlling nature! And his hair is not missingno colored. It is just different shades of gray.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 26- A Random Bridge


“This is Nugget Bridge! Beat us 5 trainers and win a fabulous prize! Think you got what it takes? Go, Caterpie!” The Bug Catcher yells for effect.


Missingno scratches his chin. “What kind of prize do you think it will be? Since this is Nugget Bridge, I’m hoping for a chicken nugget.”


Cassandra rolls her eyes. “Go, Weedy.” She begins another Pokemon battle.


Weedy used Poison Sting!


Critical Hit!


It’s super-effective!


Enemy Caterpie fainted!


“... That was easy.”


That was overkill.


“And he is still only level 15.” Missingno fistbumps/headbutts Weedy as they trade places. He points at the opponent’s Weedle with his bloody hand. “Let’s do this before I realize that this is painful.”


Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Wait, did he say level 15?”


What? Weedy is evolving!


He flashes back and forth, overlapping each other. It ends as his new form takes hold.


Weedy evolved into Kakuna!


Weedy giddily rocks back and forth.


“Aw, man. I’m gonna miss his old form.” Missingno is lying on the ground, his head in his arms.


“I’m just confused on how it took this long. I heard that Bug type Pokemon evolve quickly, so I just assumed Weedy would just stay like that because of the glitch.”


“No, I’ve just been spamming the B button for a while. I forgot to do that while I was fighting, though.”


Cassandra looks at the aftermath of the battle. A large circle of the bridge in front of the Bug Catcher is destroyed, water and pieces of wood are scattered everywhere, and his Weedle is floating in the water, fainted. “What did you do?”


“I couldn’t be outdone by Weedy. I needed to OHKO it… so I used Splash.”


“... I’m not even going to start.” She looks at her Pokemon. “I need to change your name again.”


Too bad she can’t do that until Lavender Town.


“That hasn’t stopped her before.”


Cassandra scrunches her face. “What about… Koons?”


“Seriously. What is with your naming sense? Did you forget it at home?”


She rolls her eyes. As she tries to walk away, Missingno drags her back towards town. “What are you doing?”


“There was something I forgot to show you.” He turns around and stands straight before taking a step farther back up the bridge. Halfway through his step, he reaches forward and yells. “Start!”


“... What was supposed to happen?”


“That.” He points to the opposite bank upstream. Standing there is the kid they had just defeated. He is standing half on land, and half in the water. Yet he seems unfazed about any of it. “Start!”


After Missingno yells again, the kid disappears and returns to his previous placement.


“How?...”


“Pretty cool, right?”


Cassandra shakes her head. “Come on, Koons.”


Missingno watches as she walks off to fight the other trainers. As she fights a Lass, he stoops down.


He places his hand on the bridge. It feels cool and rough.


“Which is not what it is supposed to feel like.” He stands up and looks around. “This is not good. Not good at all.”


He runs to catch up with Cassandra. She has just finished with her battle, and both she and Koons are out of breath.


He snaps, and her bag glows brightly. When the light diminishes, her bag is now a small messenger bag with a large ‘M’ on the flap.


She looks at her bag, then at Missingno, back to the bag, then glares at him. “Missingno!”


“What? I said a smaller bag would be better.”


“And how are we supposed to carry all the stuff we need?”


“I just turned it into the magical kind of bag like in the game. It can mysteriously hold enormous amounts of stuff, despite it’s size. Check it out.”


Inside the flap, a bright yellow hue glows. She reaches through it, and sure enough, she can pull out anything she previously had in her bag. It even has her tent, which is physically too big for the bag’s new size.


“Wow, thanks.” She smiles at him. “Sorry that I doubted you.”


“Don’t worry about it. I thought I should give you something to make it easier to let you know that I fought the other three trainers.”


“What?” Her smile drops as she looks behind her. Pokemon and evidence of fighting was all along the bridge.


“MISSINGNO!”

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 27- A Random Recruitment


The Rocket Launcher grunt pokes Cassandra’s arm. “Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on come on come on comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon.”


“No! I am not joining Team Rocket Launcher.” She puts the Nugget he gave her into her bag.


Missingno smirks. “But you’re keeping the prize.”


“That is for beating the trainers, not for joining.”


“Technically, I beat most of them.”


She glares at him.


“R-right, sorry.”


The Rocket Launcher grunt interrupts them. “I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse!”


He pulls out a card. “I’ll give you a gift card for the RL Store. Redeemable when you upgrade from grunt to member.”


Missingno inspects it. “What is the difference?”


“When you become a member, you get Pokemon that are actually leveled, you get 3 extra rocket launchers, and you don’t get sent on impossible missions.”


“Like getting random trainers to join AFTER you give them gold.”


“Yeah, like that…. So?”


“Still no.”


“Fine, I’ll make you an offer you REALLY can’t refuse! Go, Ekans!” He and his Pokemon poise dramatically.


“That’s not an offer!” Cassandra fumes. “Missingno, are you sure you aren’t already part of them? You both never make any sense.”


“That is hurtful.”


“... Then why did you take the gift card?”


“He seems to have forgotten about it, so I might as well use it. By the way, shouldn’t you be helping your Pokemon?”


Koons is trapped in the Ekans’ Wrap. Cassandra runs over to help him.


I feel like you are forgetting something, though.


“I don’t think I am. I’ll check the strategy guide just in case.” He pulls out a book and flips it open. “Hey, Cassandra. Whatever you do, DON’T…”


Koons is standing on top of a beaten Ekans and Zubat.


“... beat him.”


“Why not?”


“Because if you had lost to him, we could come back again and get another Nugget. A couple of hours, and we could have been infinitely rich.”


“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”


The Rocket Launcher grunt smiles. “With your ability, you could become a top leader in Team Rocket Launcher!”


“Still not joining!” Cassandra waves as she walks away.


They turn the corner and head into Route 25. After a couple steps, Missingno reaches forward.


“Start!”


“... What is it this time? More teleporting people?” She looks around.


“No…”


Cassandra shakes her head. “Come on, Koons. Let’s go fight these other trainers, try to level you up.”


Koons uses Harden 6 times before they move on.


“That’s cheating!” Missingno watches them as they leave. He kneels to the ground and feels the grass. “Seriously, what is this.”


That is grass.


“That’s Cassandra’s bit. Plus, that’s the problem.”


So, are you going to go beat the trainers before she can?


“Nah, I’ll let her have this one. Plus, I’m still spamming B.”


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Cassandra surveys the area around the house. There is wreckage scattered in various places, and signs of damage are all over the walls.


Cassandra picks up a sign. “It says ‘Sea Cottage: Bill Alakazam lives here!”


“And this sign says ‘Appil Macoontoosh’.”


“What is that? A PC?”


“Yes… and no. It is a computer, but you can’t store large items or Pokemon in it… How does that work? This isn’t Digimon.”


“Let’s go see what’s inside.”


“Ooo, I want to go first.” He jumps up with the computer and spartan kicks the door down. “Hey-yo!”


“Why did you break the door?” She looks around the room. “Is anyone here?”


Inside the cottage, papers and pieces of machinery are scattered everywhere, and a desk is lying on its side. No one is inside except for a strange Pokemon huddled in the corner, stroking its long mustache.


Cassandra shrugs. “Guess not. Let’s go.”


“NO! WAIT!”


She turns to leave, but stops as she is called out to by… the Alakazam?


“Wait, are we really surprised by this?”


Well, if there is anyone reading who has not played the game, they don’t know what is going on.


“I’m more surprised that they are reading this without having played. But, I’m glad that they are reading, and now they can figure out what is happening with this Pokemon…” He smiles wickedly. “NEXT TIME!”


… Missingno, that will only affect people until the story is updated again.


“Worth.”






(I'm really sorry. This was the place where I had to put the hints concerning the Mew Glitch, but it won't be relevant for quite a while.... QUITE a while. So yeah, remember if you can. If not, I'll elude back to it when it become relevant anyways.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 28- A Random Machine


“I’m a Pokemon.- No I’m not! I’m Bill- AN ALAKAZAM” The spikes on the Alakazam’s head swing dangerously as he talks back and forth in two different voices.


… Alakazam?


“Well, it never specifies what Pokemon he turned into exactly, so we’re taking some… creative liberties.”


“... Is this another one of your games?” Cassandra leers at Missingno.


“No, I wish.”


“You wish this was your doing?”


“Uh, teleporters, combining with Pokemon, Cell Separation Systems; I wish I had come up with this all.”


Cassandra and the Alakazam stare at him.


“Oh, sorry.” He clears his throat and speaks in monotone. “Bill, what happened here?”


“Well, I was running experiments on my teleporters, and I accidentally got combined with a Pokemon, and now I need you guys to run the Cell Separation System.”


Cassandra glares at Missingno again.


“Wait, it gets better.” He turns back to Bill. “... No.”


“No!?- YES!- Come on, you gotta help a guy in- I’m perfectly fine.- What do you say,- SUCKA?- Please? Ok? All right! When I’m in the Teleporter, go to my PC and run- AWAY!” He walks into the Teleporter and waits.


“... Ok, that was pretty different, but he still refused to let us say no.” Missingno beams. “Ooo, if we walk out and back again, he will forget this whole thing, and we can start all over.”


Cassandra grabs his collar as he tries to leave. “How about, no.”


“Fine.” He kicks up the overturned desk and places the computer on top. “What is this PC called?”


“It is the ‘Appil Macoontoosh’. And there was no way to do this myself. It’s not like I could have set a timer for the program… unless…” Bill starts mumbling to himself about complex computer codes, including some that relate to the theory of reality.


Missingno scrolls through the computer, searching for the program. “You know, Bill. An Alakazam supposedly has an IQ of over 5000. Wouldn’t your work go infinitely faster if you stayed like this?”


Bill’s eyes widen as he looks at him. “You’re right. Ok, whatever you do, don’t-”


Missingno hits a key on the computer, and the Teleporter doors shut. “... I think I found it.”


The machine emits strange lights as whirring sounds start. Soon after, screams of pain echo through the cottage.


Cassandra turns to him. “Did you really have to do that?”


“The plot forces us to, so yes. Plus his psychic powers were running wild, so he couldn’t touch the computer….” He smiles. “Oh, and it’s fun.”


She shakes her head and turns back to the machine, where the lights and screaming are finally dying down. The doors on the left half of the machine open with a ‘ding’, and smoke billows from within. Bill, now a normal human, coughs as he stumbles out.


“Thank you guys. Now I can finish my experiments.”


Missingno sighs. “Well, you seem normal… ish. Which means we have to deal with this guy.”


From the other doors, a deep cackle emanates. The Alakazam slowly walks out clapping. His spoons float around, giving off a pink hue. “Thank you. Truly, thanks to you all, I have gained sentience, and now I have my power all to myself!” It laughs maniacally.


“Technically, your power came from something else, but whatever floats your boat.” Missingno shrugs.


The Alakazam squints his already pointed eyes and jabs a finger at him. “You! You seem the most dangerous…”


He points at Cassandra. “Ha!”


“... and also the least mature.”


“Why does everyone say that?” His shoulders slump as Cassandra snickers.


“Prepare to meet your doom!” The Alakazam grabs its spoons out of the air, and the pink hue grows brighter.


Enemy Alakazam used Psychic!


… It doesn’t affect Missingno.


“What? You should have burst into many small, little pieces.”


“Woah. First, that is way too gruesome of a scene for this story. Try and keep it rated E for Everyone, please. And second, I’ve already canonized my immunity to psychic type attacks back in Mt. Moon, so too bad.” He sticks out his tongue.


“Fine, but this should work.” It uses its psychic powers to pick up the debris lying around, and sends them flying at Missingno’s head.


“Ow. Ooh. Ouch. Cassandra, help me!”


“No, I’m fine like this.” The debris flies around her, and only hits him.


He tries to swat away as much as he can, but it all just curves back at him. “Narrator, can’t you write that it suddenly loses its power?”


Yeah, but watching this is a lot more fun.


“Fine, then I’ll do it myself.” He reaches over to the computer and presses ‘CTRL’, ‘ALT’, and ‘DEL’.


The debris all falls to the floor. The Alakazam tries to do something, but his power no longer works.


“And now to finish it.” He presses ‘SHIFT’, ‘C’, and ‘4’.


And the Teleporter explodes…. I see what you did there.


Technically, only the half by the Alakazam explodes, and it sends that half and the Alakazam flying through the wall and towards the ocean.


Missingno walks up to the unconscious Alakazam, and uses a 3 foot stick to gently push it into the water. He then picks up the half of the machine and brings it back in.


“Wow, Missingno. Way to push back the progress of science.”


“Please. Several gens later, and there is still no real teleportation.” He grumbles under his breath. “Still have to walk everywhere.”


Bill shakes their hands. “Thanks again for all your help. Too bad, though. I was super close to figuring out trans-dimensional travel.”


Missingno hands him a Link Cable. “Here you go. Problem solved. Let’s go, Cassandra.”


“Wait, what was that?” She leaves the confused Bill and catches up to him.


“... Nothing.”


“Whatever. Have you seen Koons?”


He looks at Koons, who has been clinging to the back of her shoulder since the beginning.


“... No.”







(What? Did Missingno had a Link Cable the whole time?... No.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 29- A Random Shovel


“Missingno!” Cassandra cups her hands over her mouth. “Missingno! Where did you go?!”


She walks alongside the bridge, searching both sides of the rock walls that line the water. She spots him halfway down, sitting along the coast with a fishing pole. She catches up and leans against the wall next to him.


“What are you doing?”


He groans in despair. “I hate this Old Rod. I’ve been at this for three hours already, and so far I’ve found 4 Kinglers, 7 Seakings, 19 Arboks, 22 Golems, 6 golems, 113 Scythers, 5 Dragonites, and 3 Mewtwos. BUT NO MAGIKARPS!” He gestures to the giant pile of Pokemon and a few magical clay figures that are flopping around like fish. He pushes the pile back into the water and returns to his fishing pole. “I am not leaving this spot until I catch a Magikarp!”


“Missingno.”


“Coming!” He throws his Old Rod over his shoulder and follows behind her.


They make it back to Cerulean, and as soon as they jump down a ledge, Missingno heads east. He ducks between some trees, and into a backyard, where he counts three steps, turns south, and rips up the bricks there. He holds up a Rare Candy for Cassandra to see.


“What are you doing back there?!” She looks around. “Get back here before you get arrested for trespassing.”


“Don’t worry. It is the privilege of the protagonist to be provided with the possibility to pilfer the small plunders that are positioned around a pied-à-terre.”


Cassandra raises her eyebrow.


“Yeah, I know most people don’t know French, but that was the only word for a home that fit the alliteration.”


She shakes her head and continues towards the Pokecenter to heal Koons. She thought of stopping by Grandma’s again, but decided against it. She knew she would waste a lot of time there, and she would end up not wanting to leave. She heads the other way around the Pokecenter, over the ledge, and walks to the robbed house.


The officer has finally moved, and Missingno is glaring at his apathetic expression. She smacks him upside the head and enters the house. Inside is plenty of evidence of a robbery; the bookshelves have been tossed, a plant is knocked over, strange footprints and pools of water litter the floor. The chairs have been moved, the corner of the table is broken, and the wall is cracked in many places with one large hole gaping to the backyard.


“Um, I don’t think those last things specifically relate to a robbery.”


Cassandra walks up to the woman pacing the floor. Despite her situation, she is smiling.


“Team Rocket Launcher must be trying to DIG their way into no good!”


Missingno stares at her. “Wow, that is… a pun.”


“Team Rocket Launcher must be trying to DIG their way into no good!”


“... I know that NPC’s have specific lines, but you need to know when a joke is used too much.”


Cassandra walks up to the man huddled in the corner by the hole in the wall. “Can you tell us what happened here?”


The man tilts his hat down. “They don’t believe me. The thief is standing right there in the backyard. They stole my very valuable TM!”


“Honey!” The woman glares at him.


“Oh, and they wrecked our house.”


“What did the TM do?”


“It is for teaching a Pokemon how to dig a hole.”


Missingno pops over her shoulder. “... That’s it? Give me a shovel and I can do that, easy.”


Cassandra shakes her head. “We’ll go get it back for you.”


“You will? Thank you, I need to teach Dig to my Pokemon at all costs.”


“All right, we’ll be right back!” She grips her bag and storms out the hole.


“I’m just saying. If you have a shovel…”


“Missingno!”


“Coming!”


Missingno jumps outside, where Cassandra and Koons have already defeated the Rocket Launcher grunt. Laying at his feet are a small, grey humanoid Pokemon, and a yellow and brown tapir-esque Pokemon.


The grunt holds up a CD. “Stop! I give up! I’ll return the TM I sto-”


Missingno knocks him out.


“What was that for?”


“He tried to pull a weapon.”


“That was the Dig TM!”


He stoops down beside the grunt and picks up a shovel. “That’s what I said.”


“... Did you just change the TM into that?”


He puts a hand on his heart. “You understand me so well. Besides, did you see those footprints. Those were not Machop or Drowzee footprints. The only Pokemon they fit is a Golduck. To try and frame an innocent Pokemon like that, he had it coming.”


Cassandra shakes her head. She looks back in the hole. “We got your… TM… back.”


The man shrugs. “I figure what’s lost is lost. I decided to teach Diglett how to Dig without a TM!”


Missingno crashes through the wall, creating a new hole. “Wait, this was all about a DIGLETT!? It learns Dig naturally! And at level 19!!!” He flips the table. “We nearly died getting that back!”


“No we didn’t.”


“It took us over 3 hours!”


“It was about a minute.”


“And then after all that hiking-”


“It was right outside.”


“You wanted it for a Pokemon that cannot be caught under level 15?!”


“Team Rocket Launcher must be trying to-”


“YOU BE QUIET!”







(So when I did my play through, I saw that move names were in all caps, which made this woman look like she was trying to emphasize that word. And those footprints never did make any sense.


I am going to start adding a small picture that relates to the chapter. I am not very good at drawing, so don't expect much. I will slowly work on making ones for past chapters as well, so keep tuned.


Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 30- A Random Flight

“That was nice of you to fix their house.”

“Says the person who hit me until I did.”

They walk down a path along Route 5. Cassandra looks around, but there are only stone walls on either side.

“Are there no Pokemon along this route?”

“There are, but only between the paths.”

“Then let’s go.”

“What?! You want to walk all the way back to the top, just to fight some Pokemon? We are so close to the Underground Tunnel.”

“You mean Saffron City.”

He puts his hand on her shoulder. “It’s cute that you don’t know about the guards yet.”

She glares at him as she pushes his arm away. “Sometimes, you make no sense.” She jumps the wall and heads into the grass.

Missingno pouts. “Just sometimes?”

Are you not going to follow her?

He yawns. “Nah, I really need a nap. Cassandra is leveling up, can you spam B for me?”

You still on that?

He falls on his face. “Yup…. It’s kinda… my thing…”

Missingno used Rest!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassandra nudges Missingno with her shoe. “Come on. Wake up.”

He jolts awake. Overhead, the sun is starting to set. “How long was I sleeping?”

“A few hours.”

“Oh no! Did the Narrator do his job?”

Koons pops over her shoulder.

He sighs in relief. “Thank goodness.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “I tried to enter Saffron City, but the guard wouldn’t let me.”

“Told you.”

“So, we go through the Tunnel?”

Missingno scoffs. “Unless you can fly over.”

Cassandra scrunches her face. “Didn’t you say you know Fly?”

“When was that?”

Middle of Chapter 16.

“Oh. Well, if I canonized it…”

Feathery, Missingno-colored wings spring from his back. He shoots into the air before looping back to grab Cassandra and Koons. With a flap of the wings, they Fly off.

After some high speed flying, a few somersaults, and a barrel roll (first Fox’s, then into a real one), they land in a forest.

Cassandra looks around. “Where are we?”

Missingno brushes some twigs and leaves out of his wings. “Not a clue.”

“... Well, can you fly us out of here?”

“Sorry, the moment has passed.” His wings disappear back into his back.

“Great.” She pushes through some bushes, and her jaw drops.

Before her is Vermilion City. On her left is a house, with the Pokecenter just beyond that. She tries to turn around, but the only thing left of the forest is the bushes she just came out of, and behind those is the ocean.

Missingno exits the nearest house, the Old Rod in hand. He hums a fast tune as his eyes sparkle.

No… I mean they literally sparkle.

“You look happy.”

“Of course. I now have the Old Rod.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you have it earlier today?”

“No, that was AN Old Rod I made. This is THE original. Even when little to no Pokemon are around while surfing, this wonderful tool can magically make Pokemon appear. So mysterious.” He caresses it. “I want to see if I can use its magic in other ways. Then I can become a magician and get out of your crazy adventure to destroy glitches.”

Cassandra crosses her arms. “What was that?!”

“My bad. ‘Exciting’, not ‘crazy’.”

“That was not the part you got wrong.”

“Enough of your talk of magic. Let’s go heal Koons.”

Cassandra shakes her head as he skips off. After a quick trip to the Pokecenter, they walk around Vermilion City. Everything seems normal, but Cassandra keeps a sharp eye out for anything strange. It is getting late, so most people are heading home. Even the construction on the edge of town is packing up to end the day. The crescent moon gives some light as the Machop looks over the land it has finished stomping out.

“What should we do now?”

I would suggest the Pokemon Fan Club.

“Do you know something about the plot?”

… Maybe.

Missingno shrugs. “Good enough for me.”

They head to a building in the southeast part of the city, where a group of Pokemon fans are talking about their favorite Pokemon. The old man in the large chair in the back greets them. “Welcome to the PFC!”

“Excuse me, do any of you know anything plot worthy?”

The man tips his hat. “My Rapidash is worthy of a plot, I can tell you that.” The others in the room laugh with him. “My favorite Rapidash… It… cute… lovely… smart... plus... amazing... you think so?... oh yes... it... stunning... kindly... love it! Hug it... when... sleeping... warm and cuddly... spectacular... ravishing…”

Missingno groans as the man keeps talking. “Did you send us here just to have us listen to this guy?”

*Snicker*.... No…. Maybe…. SO?

“...Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! I want yo-"

Missingno waves him off. “Yeah, yeah. There is nothing of worth here. We out!”

Cassandra addresses the other three in the room. “Thank you for your time.” She follows after him as he heads back towards the Pokecenter. “Well, that was a waste.”

Missingno looks up at the full moon. “Man, this makes me think of a legend of monsters that only come out at night.” He chuckles. “But there is no such thing as-”

“JOHN CENA!!!!!!!” Bun-dunadaaaa!

A voice echoes across the ‘city’, along with G-funk music.

Missingno gasps. “Werechamps.”







(I hope that I wrote the John Cena music in a way that it reminds you of the song. This one.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[Umbramatic]

Alright, I'm not sure if the lack of responses to this fic has affected your confidence at all, seeing you seem to not be lacking in any and you've been writing the chapters at a pretty steady rate, but regardless, I'm here with your first review!

First off, I really like what you're trying to do with this. The notion of a humanized, quirky Missingno - a figure of the Pokeverse almost always portrayed as an evil and/or horrifying entity - dragging a hapless newbie trainer into his adventures is a fun base one. And the homages to the various other G1 glitches is certainly a treat.

Problem is, while this story is definitely set out to be a comedy, it has a fair few stumbling blocks in that regard. Before you panic, don't worry, it isn't all bad - more than some of your humor hits its mark and actually made me chuckle a fair bit. It's just the rest falls flat due to a common misunderstanding you seem to hold on how humor works.

You seem to rely a lot on randomness and highly meta humor. For the former, the root of humor is actually absurdity, which is not the same as randomness. Second, in order to create humor, the absurdity must be meaningful within the context of the story in order to make the audience laugh. So, say, when one of Missingno's antics has some twisted meaning in context, it's noticeably more likely to actually be funny. If it's just him doing something randomly absurd with no real tie to the rest of the story... Not so much.

As for the meta humor... It can work brilliantly if done right, but you have to be careful; many of the same pitfalls of randomness apply to it (ie, don't be meta for the sake of being meta) and don't ever use it to critisize your own story - that betrays a lack of confidence people notice easily.

Addittionally, while Missingno and Cassandra (fun name for the straight man) are fun leads, the incoherency of their adventures keeps it hard to stay invested in them. There's no real central goal or conflict or anything to their story, and it sabotages their potential by making their adventures feel kinda pointless to follow.

But before you up and quit on this story or especially writing because of all that crit, don't. As I said, you've got a solid core premise and protagonists and a decent amount of your gags manage to hit the sweet spot; all this story needs is more muscle and backbone to be glitchy misadventure you intended.

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 31- A Random Were...champ?

Bun-dunadaaaa!

Cassandra cups her hands over her ears as she yells. “What is that music?!”

Missingno yells back. “What was that?! It’s hard to hear you over the awesome John Cena theme song!”

“THE WHAT?!”

Missingno pulls out a remote control and presses mute. The John Cena background music immediately stops.

“... Okay. So what was that?”

“That was the theme of the Werechamp.”

“... Do I even want to know?”

“Of course you do. During the full moon, they trade reason for strength as they act on their basic desires. They don’t even look like themselves anymore, instead they look like-”

She holds up a hand. “Do you hear that?”

There is a soft, rhythmic thump pulsing at regular intervals. They turn towards the construction site, where a… Machamp is breaking up the ground.

“Like that.”

They try to get closer, sneaking as quietly as possible.

“Don’t be afraid. It can taste the smell of sudden moves.”

“What? And be quiet.”

On closer inspection, it is not quite a Machamp. Along with its four muscular arms, it has two small arms lying worthless by its side. It also does not have the usual yellow mouth, and is instead just gray. And its feet are square, missing its normal split toes.

Cassandra gasps. “It is the Machop from earlier! It stomps out the site by day, and by night it breaks it up again!”

“That’s cool and all, but you do know that it heard you, right?”

The Werechamp yells and rushes towards them.

Missingno pulls out the Old Rod. “I will defeat him by pulling a rabbit out of a hat!”

It dives into a tackle, but at the last moment, Missingno steps out of the way and winds up the Old Rod. He bats the Werechamp past them and into the bushes from before.

“Wait. Did I say ‘pull a rabbit out of a hat’, or ‘toss it through some bushes into a dark void of no return’? I always get those two mixed up.”

From the bushes, an old man walks out and tips his hat.

Cassandra gasps again. “It’s the PFC guy?”

“Uh-oh”

“What is it?”

“There was more than just this guy in the Fan Club.”

From the southeast, more cries echo again. Three Werechamps jump over the houses towards them. Even worse, they are even bigger than the last one.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just toss them into the bushes again.”

While he is speaking, one of Werechamps walks over to the bushes, tears them out, and throws them into the water.

“... Aaaand NOW we’re doomed.”

“What? Don’t you have a backup plan?”

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

“Let me think…” He scratches his chin with one hand, while batting away the barrage of hits with the other. “I might have an idea.”

He reaches out his hand. “Hi, my name is Missingno.”

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

Enemy Werechamp used Low Kick!

Missingno ducks under the chop and jumps over the kick.

“Any other bright ideas?”

“Let me try that one more time.” He reaches out his hand again. “Hi, my name is Missingno.”

Cassandra swats his hand away. “I know who you are!”

“I know. I was just distracting you while I got this.” He holds up a Nugget.

“Wait, is that mine?”

“Was yours.” He turns back to the Werechamps. “Here, take THIS!”

He pitches it at the head of the closest Werechamp. It bounces harmlessly off and falls into its hand. It then pitches it away, far over the horizon.

Missingno stares in the direction it flew. “Wow, they really can throw things that far. I thought that was just one of the exaggerations that the Pokedex has. Like Alakazam’s IQ or Pidgeot’s and Rapidash’s speed.”

Enemy Werechamp used Submission!

One of the Werechamps grabs Missingno and spins into the air and towards the ground.

“This might be a good time to mention that I can use Counter.”

The Werechamp smashes him into the ground, while a second Missingno punches it in the face. It flies into the water, and a second later, a large man washes onto the shore.

As the first Missingno struggles to stand, the two Missingnos bump fists .

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

One of the remaining Werechamps sneaks up behind Missingno and attacks, but he swats it away.

“Never try a sneak attack on someone who can read the text.” Missingno sighs. “But at least you aren’t using Focus Energy, because then I would be in real-”

Enemy Werechamp used Focus Energy!

Missingno used Counter!

A third Missingno hits that Werechamp in the face with Koons, knocking it out.

“Missingno!” Cassandra rips Koons out of his hands.

Wait, I’m still confused on what happened.

“Apparently, some moves don’t reset the data from the last attack.”

Oh.

“Besides, in this gen, Focus Energy accidentally lowers critical hit ratio.”

Double oh.

“Now.” All three Missingnos turn to the remaining Werechamp. “Looks like the tables have turned.”

Uh, Missingno? You do know that they aren’t the main glitch, right?

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh………… Of course. But just to make sure you know what the main glitch is… what is it?”

Look up into the sky. What do you see?

“The full moon.”

And a little to the right?

“The crescent moonooooooh, now I get it.”

The two other Missingnos grab the first one, and chuck him into the sky. He crashes into the full moon, and both shatter into pieces.

The Werechamps fade away, leaving the two other Fan Club members in their place.

“And that takes care of that.” One Missingno waves as the other walks around the Pokemart and heads east.

Cassandra glares at him. “I’m still mad about the Nugget.”

“You mean this one?” He reaches into her bag, and pulls out a Nugget. He waves the Old Rod in the air. “Tada! Magic!”

She snatches it back and puts it in her bag. She gives one last glare before leaving to find a place to sleep.








(Focus Energy was NOT good in gen 1. And Counter. There are so many glitches with that one attack, it's not even funny. Actually, it is. That's why I will be using ALL of them.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 32- A Random Ship

“Hurray! We are going to check out the S.S. Anne this morning!”

Cassandra jumps back. “What? Says who?”

“Says the chapter heading.”

“Once again, what?”

“Besides, even if it is easy to slip between the trees to get to the Gym, the S.S. Anne is important to the plot, so there is probably a glitch there.”

“Now that is a good reason.”

“And that is where we get the Cut HM.”

“Another good reason.”

“And I can sift through the trash to look for Great Balls.”

She shakes her head and walks back into Vermilion City. They went back to Route 6 the night before in order to camp out. Set up and take down was easy with Cassandra’s new magic bag.

As they enter the ‘city’, they notice a large figure hovering above the water just south of the Harbor. It looks like a Voltron robot, but with unicorns instead of lions.

“... How did we not notice that last night?” They both say at the same time.

Cassandra looks at Missingno. “... So, is that a glitch?”

“Oh, that is most definitely a glitch.”

They head down the pier, but are stopped by a sailor.

“Excuse me, do you have a ticket? You need a ticket. You don’t look like the type to have a ticket. Only really important people have a-”

“Ticket?” Missingno flashes a piece of paper.

“Great! Welcome to the S.S. Anne!”

Cassandra follows Missingno towards the robot. “Where did you get that?”

“At Bill’s place. Inside his desk.”

“You stole it?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘steal’. Just… ‘took with asking and not really caring’.”

“That pretty much is the definition of ‘steal’.”

“Not when he was going to give it to us anyways.”

“You don’t know that!”

He holds up a strategy guide. “Yes I do. More importantly, we have to get inside this robot.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

Missingno cracks his fingers and pulls out a keyboard. “Let’s see if I can’t hack it.”

He throws the keyboard at the mouth of one of the feet. It opens just enough for them to slip through. “There we go.”

Cassandra shakes her head again.

Once inside, the mouth closes, trapping them in darkness. Missingno finds a row of flashlights, and turns them all on. He grabs one and swallows it, light still emitting from his mouth.

“Uh, Missingno?”

“Yeah?”

“Where is Koons? He usually is hanging on my back, but he isn’t there.”

“Yeah, he went to get a pedicure. He really needed one, and I figured we didn’t really need him, and- Oh my helix fossil, what is that?” He points his light at a door.

Cassandra glares at him but still opens the door, flooding the room with light. Missingno’s shoulders slump. “Of course the hallways are lit. Not like I really wanted to be the Human TORCH or anything.” He snickers for a second before slumping again.

As they travel the hallways, they find them lined with statues of unicorns running, jumping, stomping flowers, stabbing birds.

“Wow, this is pretty morbid. Good thing they are just statues.”

As Missingno’s speaks, all the statues turn to look at him.

“... Missingno, did the statues just move?”

The statues get off their pedestals and slowly walk towards them.

“Cassandra.”

“Yes?”

“We have two choices here. We can either stay and fight, possibly be stabbed by really creepy statues and maybe die. Plus, there is no guarantee that more statues won’t show up, causing us infinite despair and making us just give up…. Or we could run.”

“I like running.”

Missingno dodges a jab from one, and backhands another out of the way. “Are you sure, because I happen to know the move Splash, so-” He turns around, but Cassandra is gone. Halfway down the hallway, she is dodging between statues. “Cassandraaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He reaches out as the statues pile on top of him.





(Well, that's the end of this story. Cassandra runs off, Missingno dies, Koons gets a great pedicure, and all the glitches take over the world. The end.... Yeah, I'm just kidding. Pretty sure that would be the worst end ever. Guess I'll just have to continue making chapters.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 33- A Random Horse

Cassandra keeps running. At the end of the hallway is a stairway facing the other way and after a quick turn, she bolts up it, two stairs at a time. Once she reaches the top, she slows down but still keeps a nice pace, just to be safe. At the end of a small hallway, she came to a choice. She could either turn down the hallway on her left, or head up more stairs. The last stairs had been a better experience than the hallways, so she heads up the stairs again.

It is only a small flight of stairs, and when she reaches the top, she sees a door at the end of another hallway. She walks to the door, and finds herself on a balcony outside.

“Missingno!”

“Yes?” He pops his head out of her bag.

She grabs his collar and pulls him out. She gives him a glare. “Is this your doing?”

“What?”

“I went up two short flight of stairs, but somehow, we are on the shoulder of this thing!”

Missingno looks over the side and down the arm. “Hm, so we are.” He walks back to the door. “You should know by now that glitches can change reality. We should actually be glad for this one.” As they walk back inside and down the hall, he continues. “Instead of walking up 197 feet of stairs, the S.S. Anne’s map allows us to get all the way up here with just two flights.”

Suddenly, the grind of gears comes from all sides. As the sound grows louder, the walls start to move in.

“What now?!”

Apparently, the map is trying to change fully into Voltron’s.

“That’s not so bad.”

Um… Voltron is just a robot… with no hallways… just solid metal…

“Ooooooh. Cassandra, we need to act fast.” He pulls out a long metal pole and sets it between the closing walls. The walls stop, but the grind only grows more strained. “This should hold it. They did it in Star Wars, and it totally worked.”

No it didn’t.

The grinding sound grows louder and the pole starts to bend.

Missingno quickly places several more poles to secure it. “New plan, I’ll hold these in order to keep the map steady. You need to go down these stairs, across the hallway you didn’t pass through earlier, around the corner and up those stairs. The main glitch should be there.”

“You want me to take care of the glitch myself?”

“Don’t worry, I left you a present along the way to help. Now, go!”

Cassandra hesitates, but she follows his instructions. As she runs down the hall, the walls slowly inch closer. As she turns the corner, she sees Missingno’s gift. It is a small sledgehammer with a green handle.

She picks it up with all her might… and almost falls backwards. It looks heavy, but she finds that she can swing it with ease. The closing walls bring her back, and she bolts up the stairs.

She enters the room moments before the walls close shut. Apparently this room is not closing. She looks around to find what looks like an office being taken over by machinery. On the back wall is two eye shaped windows, and in the middle of the room is a giant glowing sphere... and a Rapidash.

The Rapidash shakes its fire mane and calls to her in a deep, gruff voice. “Yo.”

“Oh, you’re a guy.”

His pointed ears twitch. “Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise?”

The Rapidash is covered in accessories. Blue bows, blue beads, blue eyeliner. “... No reason.”

“Just to let you know, this was all my trainer. Ever since he became the chairman of the PFC, he has gone crazy in dressing me up. And it’s not like I can take them off myself, even if I didn’t have these on.” He holds up a foot to show the boot on it. It ties at the top to keep it on, and of course, it is blue. “Seriously, what is wrong with him?”

“I’m really sorry about that, but I do need to stop you.”

“Really? I’ve been working at this for a couple days now…” He nudges at a keyboard right at his feet. “and I’m just getting it to do what I want.” He tries to tap some keys with the edge of his foot.

A robotic voice comes from above. “Opening Netflix.”

He shakes his head, tossing the red flames that make up his mane. “Stop doing that! What even is ‘Netflix’?” He stomps on the keys some more.

“Firing lasers.”

“There we go.” The Rapidash grins.

Small guns emerge from the walls and shoot at Cassandra. She dodges with all her might to not be hit by any. She steps back, spins around and throws the hammer at him.

He raises up on his back legs and brings his front legs down on it.

Rapidash used Stomp!

“Ha! You thought that I would dodge, and then your hammer would fly past me and hit the energy core, but I planned for that!”

She points at his feet, where he destroyed the keyboard by stomping the hammer into it.

“So your plan was to force me to destroy the robot myself!”

“No, knowing Missingno, I just needed to distract you while he would probably head out through the balcony, make his way to the head, break through the eye and smash the core with a giant mace.”

… At this point, I WAS planning to tell you how Missingno had escaped and made a surprise attack, but SOMEONE beat me to it. So yeah. Missingno smashes it.

Missingno fist pumps. “Ha! Hacked it!”






(REAL creative liberties. But for a guy that obsessed with his Rapidash, I feel really sorry for whatever he does to it.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 34- A Random Fall

The broken core makes a high pitched squeal, and explosions can be heard coming up from inside.

“We’ll talk about what ‘hacking’ means later.” Cassandra grabs Missingno’s collar and jumps out the broken window. They fall as the Voltron head blows up. Long pieces of metal fall past, just barely missing them.

“Please tell me you have a plan to save us!”

Missingno smiles. “As long as you have the hammer, we’ll be fine. It has a parachute in it, just in case of situations like this.

Cassandra points up to the hammer flipping distantly into the air, propelled by the explosions. “There was no time.”

“... We’re dead.”

Technically, you would have been dead in 3.5 seconds if you fell from 200 feet up, but this is a humor fanfic, so we do what we want.

They both scream as the ground rushes towards them.

… And then they stop. They bounce back up and down a few times before coming to a rest. Cassandra looks around to find that a giant web stopped their fall.

“Missingno, stop screaming.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhey look, it’s Koons.”

Koons is standing on top of one of the pieces that fell past them. Several others are also sticking out of the ground, so Koons shot some webbing between them to make a net.

“Wait, is he a spider? I always thought he was a cocoon, but I guess that shows what I know.”

“Um, how do we get down?”

Cassandra’s hammer falls out of the sky and through the poles, shattering them. They fall again, this time Missingno landing on his face and Cassandra and Koons landing on top of him.

“Ow.”

Cassandra checks out the harbor to find everything back to normal. The S.S. Anne is docked, and no remnants of the robot or explosion could be seen. Standing on the pier is a normal Rapidash, still covered in accessories, being cuddled by the Chairman.

“Oh, my precious Rappi! I’m so glad you had fun at the cruise party. Let’s go home.”

There’s probably going to be people mad that we gave a Pokemon a gender even though there were none in gen 1.

“Yeah, but the way I see it, it’s not like they just suddenly gained a gender. They had to have had genders all along, but it didn’t really matter for a while.”

Cassandra picks up her hammer and puts it in her bag. “So, what do we do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t get to the next gym without learning Cut, right? So that means we have to go back through the S.S. Anne to get it.”

Missingno’s shoulders go limp. “But that sounds like wo~~~~~rk.”

“Do you have any other way around it?”

Missingno slumps over to the tree, rips it out of the ground and chucks it into the ocean. “There. Are you happy?”

“Yes, but she isn’t.” Cassandra points to the officer, who is writing him a ticket.

“Oh, come on. Littering? You only ⅓ exist anyways.”

The officer glares while handing him the ticket.

He grabs it and runs up to Cassandra. “Do we even have to fight Lt. Surge?”

“Of course. He is the next gym leader.”

“But couldn’t we move on first? Fight other people first, travel around, make a bunch of jokes, and come back to him after beating some other Gyms first.”

“NO! THIS ONE HAS TO BE NOW!”

“...” Missingno and Koons stare at her.

“Uh… sorry. That was weird.” She rubs her temples. “But can we fight him now? Please…”

“Yeah, sure. But can I do my ‘thing’?”

She sighs. “Whatever.”

Missingno slams the door open. “Hey-yo!”

Cassandra walks in after him. “Why do you always say that?”

He smiles. “Every good protagonist has a catchphrase.”

Cassandra looks around the room. Lines of trash cans cover the entire room, with just enough space to squeeze by. Several trainers stand at the ready.

“... What is this?”

Missingno hands her a pamphlet titled ‘So You Want To Figure Out What The Crap Lt. Surge Was Thinking When He Made His Gym?’.

She looks it over. “Wait, so we have to look through all these trash cans to find hidden switches to get to Surge, and if we don’t find the 2nd one immediately after the first, we have to begin the search all over again?!”

“Strange how many puzzles you have to go through just to have your paranormal creatures fight other magical beasts.”

Koons used Poison Sting!

Enemy Pikachu fainted!

“Wait, why are you fighting the other trainers?!”

“Why? Am I not supposed to.”

“Of course not. Koons might accidentally level up.”

Cassandra shakes her head before turning back to the fight.

“Fine. I’ll just find the switch on my own.” As he rummages through the trash cans, he pulls out handfuls of empty chip bags. “Who put their trash in the very important gym trash cans!”

“That was you!” Cassandra yells from across the room.

“Oh. I suck.” He throws the bags to the side.

The officer taps her foot as she writes another ticket.

“Come on!”

He snatches the ticket, crumples it up and throws it in one of the trash cans.

“Alright, back to finding those switches.”

“Already done.” Cassandra stands at the back, in front of the open doors to the gym leader room.

Missingno grumbles as he follows her into the back room. There, they are met with a large blond man covered in camouflage combat gear. He leans against a trash can as he greets them.

“Hey kids! What are you’re doing here?”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“You won’t live long in combat! That’s for sure!”

Missingno puts a hand on his heart as he gasps. “What?”

“I tell you kids, electric Pokemon saved me during the war! They zapped my enemies into paralysis! The same as I’ll do to you!” He jabs a finger at Koons.

Koons looks back at him. “What?”







(As if his gym didn't already make no sense, Lt. Surge's dialogue leaves me scratching my head.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 35- A Random American

Lt. Surge grins. “They call me the Lightning American.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What is an ‘American’?”

“There’s no way he is actually American.” Missingno holds out a bowl of greens towards Lt. Surge. “Want a salad?”

Lt. Surge shrinks back. “Ew, nasty. Got something better, like a cheeseburger… or like, 200 cheeseburgers?”

“... He is American!” Missingno tosses the salad over his shoulder. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but we must leave.”

Cassandra grabs his collar. “After a gym battle, of course.”

“R-right. That’s what I meant.”

Lt. Surge laughs. “How many badges do you have?”

“Two.”

Missingno looks back at him. “Why do you guys keep asking that?”

“We are gym leaders. I have plenty of Pokemon, but it would be unfair if I used all my strong ones on any new trainers. Since you have two badges already…” He pulls out a set of three Pokeballs. “I’ll use these guys.”

“Oh. That makes a lot of sense. Not every trainer would start their journey in Pallet town.”

And how do you explain the ever increasing levels of wild and trainer’s Pokemon?

“Shhhh. It’s starting.”

Against Koons, Lt. Surge sends out a round Pokemon. It is exactly half red and half white, like a Pokeball.

Cassandra’s eyes grow wide. “Oh, no. Voltorb. Please don’t go boom.”

“Don’t worry, it is only level 21. It doesn’t learn Selfdestruct until level 22.”

“In that case, we can do this!”

Koons used Harden!

Lt. Surge watches as Koons uses Harden several times to max out his defense.

“Return, Voltorb. Go, Pikachu.” He switches out to a small yellow Pokemon. It waddles around on stubby legs.

“Ha. Cute, little, fat, gen 1 Pikachu.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Why did he switch out?”

Lt. Surge smiles. “Electric type moves are special attacks.” He shrugs. “A high defense makes no difference.”

Enemy Pikachu used Thundershock!

… A lot.

Koons fainted!

Missingno throws his hands in the air. “And it’s over. I guess you’ll just have to try again later.”

Cassandra shoves Missingno forward. “I guess you’re up next.”

“What?!”

“You said you’re a Pokemon… ish, right? Then you can fight.”

“That’s not quite what I mea-” He is cut off by her stare. “Fine.”

His eyes are barely open as he looks down at the yellow mouse. Sparks emanate from the small red patches on its cheeks. “Piiiiiiikkkkkkaaaaa. CH-”

Missingno used Double Kick!

Missingno punts the small mouse against the wall. It ricochets off the walls, floor and ceiling a bunch of times before landing at Lt. Surge’s feet.

Enemy Pikachu fainted!

Missingno scoffs. “Go slim up for future gens.”

Lt. Surge smiles. “I see you have what it takes. But can you deal with this?!” He sends back out his level 22 Voltorb.

“Ha! This will be easywaitdidyoujustsaylevel22?”

Yeah, it helped beat Koons, so it gained enough exp to level up.

“But…”

Yep.

“Then that means…”

Yep.

“Since it leveled up…”

Yep.

“... Crap.”

As the Voltorb chases him around the room, Missingno screams at the top of his lungs. “DON’TGOBOOMDON’TGOBOOMDON’TGOBOOMDON’TGOBOOM!!!!!!!!!”

“Missingno, do something already!”

“What do you expect me to do?! It has me cornered.” He shudders in the corner.

“If you lose, I will kill you!”

“If it explodes, we should all technically be dead!”

The Voltorb edges closer.

Missingno used Hyper Beam!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHHH………. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”

With each scream, he releases another beam of power.

…

Enemy Voltorb fainted!

A little overkill, don’t you think?

Missingno falls on his face. “I really didn’t want it to use Selfdestruct. So no, I don’t think.”

That’s for sure.

Lt. Surge returns his Voltorb. “You brought me down to my last Pokemon, but you still need to recharge after your last attack!”

“Actually, in this gen, if you defeat a Pokemon then you don’t need to recharge. I’m just lazy.”

“Go, Raichu!” This time it is the evolution of Pikachu. Besides being bigger, its ears and tail are drastically different. It is now orange with yellow dots on its cheeks. And it no longer has fingers, just stubs for hands.

“I don’t see how they are from the same evolution chain!” Missingno yells from floor.

A lot of Pokemon are like that.

“True. Bring it on!” Missingno jumps up, ready for action. But he immediately slumps over. “I’m tired. I don’t want to do another battle.”

You know, you never finished Double Kick.

“Oh yeah.” Missingno punts the Raichu.

Hit the enemies 2 times!

It ricochets off the walls, floor and ceiling a bunch of times before landing at Lt. Surge’s feet.

“Now I see how they are the in the same chain.”

Missingno, just because you use the same bit on two Pokemon, does not mean they are related to each other.

“Oh, well then, I still don’t understand it.”

You defeated Lt. Surge!

“Whoa! You guys are the real deal! Fine then, take the Thunderbadge!”

“Cool, thanks, bye!” Missingno grabs the badge, picks up Koons, and drags Cassandra out of the gym.

“... I also have this TM for you…”

Missingno’s arm stretches in to grab the disk before zipping back out.






(Well, it didn't go boom, so that's good. 3 Gyms down, lots of glitches to go!

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 36- A Random Kidnapping… For A Good Reason, Of Course

Missingno.

“Fine!” Missingno turns around to face Koons. “Would you like some candy?” He holds up a hard candy in a blue wrapper.

Koons wiggles estatically as he… ‘eats’ it by absorbing it through his skin.

Missingno quickly turns back around just as they reach the turn for Route 9. “Sorry about that. What were we talking about before the Narrator so rudely interrupted.”

Cassandra raises her eyebrow. “Uuh, I was asking you why we didn’t just head this way in the beginning? We had to come all the way back to Cerulean.”

On their left, Misty waves from her gym.

They wave back as they turn right. A short ways down the path, a scraggly tree blocks their way.

“That’s why. We had to go get the Cut HM first.”

“... Uh, Missingno?”

“Yes?”

“We never did get that HM.”

“... Right.” He rips the tree out and throws it over the stone wall, into a flower bed. “HA! Take THAT Officer Jenny!”

“Who?”

“That officer… in Vermilion… she doesn’t technically have that name in Yellow... but from the anime… nevermind.” Cassandra stares at him blankly, so he waves her off. “Look, a trainer.”

“Where?!” She looks around, locks onto the Jr. Trainer Girl, and runs to battle her.

Do we now have to distinguish the male and female Jr. Trainers?

“Yeah, we fought a couple of them back on Route 6, but Pokemon battles aren’t the main focus of this story, so we skipped the boring parts.”

Is this one of those parts?

“No, this will be great.” He smiles and runs up to the battle about to start.

“You’re just in time.” Cassandra smiles and points at her opponent. “Go! KOONS!”

“BEEDRILL!”

Cassandra looks over her shoulder at the large bee Pokemon hovering behind her. It flies up and down in small circles, jabbing with the large spears attached to its arms.

“Um… when?”

“I don’t remember. How long ago did I give him that Rare Candy?”

However long it took to write 328 words.

“... Yeah, that long ago.”

“So I missed my one and only Pokemon’s final evolution?!”

“Don’t worry. He brought you a souvenir.”

The Beedrill holds up a broken Kakuna shell.

“... Driller, hit him with the shell.”

Driller salutes before facing Missingno. He holds the shell above his head and chases after the crazy glitch.

“Come on! I know I’ve mentioned this more than enough, but seriously?! Driller?!” Despite running from Driller, he still makes quips.

“Do you really have time to be talking about that?”

Driller smacks Missingno over the head with the shell. He falls flat on his face.

He weakly raises a hand to point at her. “T-there is always time to talk about your poor naming sense.”

“Um…” The young trainer and her Oddish smiles at them.

“Sorry about her being distracted.” Missingno appears at Cassandra’s side.

“Yeah, whose fault is that even?” She looks at Driller. “Now that you’ve evolved, I should start thinking about what moves to teach you.”

“He now knows Twineedle. Which is pronounced like Twin Needle, but looks like Twi Needle.”

“Wait, how?”

“Well, there is only one ‘n’ in the name, so-”

“No, I mean when did he learn it?”

“Oh. He evolved at level 20, so he just barely made the cut off.”

“That makes sens- HE’S LEVEL 20?!!!!!!”

“Yup.”

“No way! He has to be way past that by now!”

“Not when I have been stealing a lot of the exp he has been gaining.”

“Stealing? Why?”

“... Secret.”

“You had better tell me a really good reason for doing that. Otherwise, so help me, I will take your head and-”

Cassandra is cut off as she finds herself suddenly in the air. She looks at the large claw that is clamped around her shoulders and midsection. As the wind bellows past, she places a hand on her hat and the other on her braid. On her left, Missingno is being carried in a similar fashion, although he is upside down. He looks at her and shrugs.

‘He isn’t smiling, so I don’t think this is his doing. So who, or what…?’ Her thought trails off as she looks up. The legs belong to a humongous yellow bird Pokemon. As it flaps its wings, she can see the black that hides on the back.

“ZAPDOS!?”

Zapdos notices her and looks back. The black around its eyes makes it look even scarier. It lets out a loud screech before looking away.

Missingno sighs in relief. “Man, am I glad that it wasn’t me.”

“What?!” She can’t hear well with the wind drowning out the sound, so Cassandra takes her hand off her braid and cups it over her ear.

Missingno speaks a little louder. “I know the title said that it is for a good reason, but I was still worried about kidnapping someone.”

“What?!” This time is not because she can’t hear.

“Seems like Zapdos needs us for one reason or- Heads up!”

Zapdos dives at a building below, close to the river. Cassandra covers her face as it crashes through the roof. It opens its wings in a large, destroyed space, and drops the two off safely… ish.

Cassandra lands on her feet, while Missingno lands on his face.

“Any idea why he needs us?”

Missingno struggles up. “Nope. It could be because of anyone or anythi-” He stops as he looks at Cassandra.

No, not at her. Behind? She suddenly feels a chill go up her back. She slowly turns around despite thinking that it is not a good idea. At all. She finally comes all the way around, and finds herself facing a giant grey creature with heavy armor plates and a horn.

It lets out a cry even louder that Zapdos’s.

“RHYHORN!”





(While they are following the plot line, I figured that I should put the Power Plant glitch in while they are close.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 37- A Random Power In The Power Plant

“Glitch! Definitely a glitch!”

Cassandra screams. She grabs Missingno’s collar as she runs past and drags him with her. She runs around a large piece of machinery and quickly ducks behind it. From the other side, screeches and crashing can be heard.

“What is going on?” She pops her head out of her hiding place to get a better look.

Not that it helped. She sees a large Zapdos zapping the giant Pokemon, while the Pokemon seems to be spinning on its back.

She ducks back in. “I’m so confused! What is that?”

Missingno smiles. “That is a Rhyhorn.”

“Are you sure? Cause I’m pretty sure that Rhyhorns are not ten feet tall.”

“Zapdos is also about triple its normal size.”

“Really?” They watch a ten foot tall Electabuzz walk by.

“Yeah, did you really think that Zapdos is that big?” He scoffs. “He is actually only about 5 foot.”

“I’m sorry that I haven’t seen a LEGENDARY Pokemon before.”

“Apology accepted. Now, as for what they are doing, it seems that Zapdos needs help breaking their stalemate.”

“Stalemate?”

“Zapdos seems to only have Electric type moves, which don’t affect Ground types. And the Rhyhorn only has Ground type attacks, which do nothing to Flying types.”

And since this isn’t Pokemon Go or Pokken, neither can really fight each other.

Missingno pops out from hiding. “Don’t worry, Zapdos! You picked the right people to ask for help! I can do anything! So long as it is random and funny!”

Cassandra pulls him back in. “What moves do they have?”

“Zapdos has Thunder, Thunder Shock, Thunder Wave, and Thunderbolt.”

“... Wow, I thought they would be a lot stranger.”

“And the Rhyhorn has Earthquake, Earthshake, Earthbake, and Earthbreakdance.”

“There we go.” She raises an eyebrow. “Earthbake? That sounds more like a Fire type attack.”

“Naw, but it makes some really great cupcakes.” He holds one up. Before he can take a bite, the ground rumbles from the fight. He loses grip, and the pastry falls to the floor.

“... Ya’ll gonna die!” He tries to jump over the machinery, but Cassandra pulls him back.

“How about we try a better strategy than just randomly jumping in”

“I think it has been working pretty well.”

“Does Driller have anything that will work?”

Driller flies up and down in small circles while jabbing.

“Not really.”

Driller slumps over.

Cassandra folds her arms. “Well, he is our best option.”

Driller flies energetically again.

“Actually, I was going to use this Power Transformer.” He places a hand on a large metal box.

Driller falls to the floor, tears in his eyes.

“What?”

“It has a base attack stat of 400, which even Dragonite starts at 134. So if it used an attack like Explosion, this would be a piece of…” He wipes a tear away. “cupcake.”

You know that if you want it to explode, it still needs to be plugged in.

“... Of course.” He pulls up some cord that runs through the floor. He pulls and pulls, but it still doesn’t run out. Feet becomes meters, which easily becomes yards. Soon, there is a large pile of cord, still plugged in.

“There, now we are almost ready.” He pulls out a pink marker.

Cassandra rips the marker out of his hand. “Missingno! You need to stop this.”

“... Uh, stop what?”

“Being so random!” She sighs. “You have been able to defeat everything so far, but what if the glitches get stronger in the future? Do you plan on beating them by being random?”

“Yup.”

“No!”

“You’re right! I also need to be funny.”

“Don’t you get it? It’s great to have some fun, but you need to have some sort of plan.”

Missingno's smile fades as he sighs. “I thought we already went through this a while ago.” He looks around. “I guess I can explain it this way. Do you know about current and voltage?”

“Uh, kind of.”

He punches into the machinery they are hiding behind. From it, he pulls out a D battery. “Voltage is the potential power that exists in something like a battery. My power has rules, and one rule says that the funnier I act, the more power I can draw from.”

He punches a new hole, and pulls out some wires. “And then there is current. It is the rate at which power moves through a wire. In the same way, when I am random, the rate I can use my power goes up. The only difference is that as I use my power, it starts to deteriorate the ‘wires’. So I have to continually be random to use the power I have. That is why sometimes I have to do something completely random that is not really funny, or vice versa. To balance out my power.” He throws the electrical pieces over his shoulders. “Otherwise I end up having none to fight with. Like in Pewter City.”

“Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh.” Cassandra’s eyes spin as she clutches her temples. “So you are saying that everything is in a sense a plan?”

“Less of a plan, and more like everything will work out.” He shakes his head. “No, I will work everything out myself. Just sometimes in a roundabout way.”

Cassandra slowly nods. “Then what do you need from me?”

He smiles. “Just act like you have always. That gives me exactly what I need.” He perks up. “Oh, and I do need something from your bag.”

She holds it open. “Go ahead.”

From his pocket, Missingno pulls out the Max Revive they got from Grandma, and holds it near the glowing opening. His hands shake as he prepares his next move.

In one swift movement, he pulls out a disk and puts the crystal in at the same time. “BOOM! Indiana Jones status!”

She smiles. “I thought you said that was a worthless TM.”

“It is. Not like I’m gonna teach it to one of my friends.” He stands up. “Better get rid of Earthshake. It can ‘shake it like a polaroid picture’.” He says the last part in an accent.

“What?”

He winks at her. “Exactly, just like that.”

She smiles back. “No, but seriously. I have no clue what you are talking about.”

“............ Alright, let’s do this. LEEEEERRRRROOOYYYYY JEEENKINS!” He runs into the open space and towards the breakdancing Pokemon.








(Am I the only one who always thought that Zapdos was a LOT bigger than it actually is? I think the second Pokemon movie messed that idea up for me. Anyways, that is how Missingno's power works... um, let me know if you are still confused so that I can edit it to clarify.

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)

 

[OtakuDragon_RedWolf]

Chapter 38- A Random TM

The giant Pokemon watches as Missingno runs across the floor at it, tightly holding the disk.

Wild Rhyhorn used Earthbreakdance!

As the large, armored Pokemon starts dancing, rocks fly in all directions. Instead of dodging the ones that come at him, Missingno just eats them. When he gets too close, the Rhyhorn stops to face him. It lowers its head in anticipation.

And Missingno breaks the disk over the Rhyhorn’s head.

1, 2, and… Poof!

Wild Rhyhorn forgot Earthshake! And…

Wild Rhyhorn learned Whirlwind!

The Rhyhorn stumbles back, but decides to try out the new move.

Wild Rhyhorn used Whirlwind.

From its mouth a small tornado emerges. As it floats across the floor, it grows bigger. It reaches a great size by the time it reaches Missingno.

And then it bounces off and heads back at the Rhyhorn. As the winds grow stronger, the Rhyhorn starts to lift up. It flails its stubby legs to no avail. It rises higher and higher, flying through the hole in the roof.

Cassandra runs up to Missingno and watches the Rhyhorn float off. “... What?”

“Whether you or a wild Pokemon uses Whirlwind, you always stay in the same place. So the whirlwind must send themselves away.”

“...So, is that it?”

“Not quite.” He turns around and whistles. “Here, boy!”

From around the corner, the Power Transformer seems to run towards them. On the side, a derp face is drawn on with pink marker, and the power cord trails behind as it approaches them.

“Good boy!” He pets it before picking it up and throwing it in the air. It flies toward the struggling Pokemon.

Power Transformer used Explosion!

Missingno throws his hands in the air. “And that’s it!”

Cassandra feels a small tap on her shoulder. She turns around to see Zapdos, now about her height. It gives a small squawk and flaps its wings.

Missingno smiles. “You’re welcome.”

“Wait, you understand Zapdos?”

“No. I just figured that since we fixed its whole, ‘giant Pokemon destroying everything and I can’t stop it’ problem, it would be relieved.”

“Uh, yeah. True.” She looks around the wide open space. “Do you think we should help Zapdos fix the place? That Rhyhorn really smashed this place up.”

“Look left.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. She looks to her left, where there is now a wall. “... What?”

She looks back to her right, a few walls and an opening create a doorway to this now small room. She looks behind, and there are some machine pieces and a Pokemon that looks closely like a Pokeball. Unlike Voltorb, though, its coloring is reversed, even though it is sitting upside down.

“Uuuh…”

“Just an Electrode pretending to be a Pokeball. Totally normal.”

“We seriously need to have a talk about the word ‘normal’.”

Zapdos nods to them and walks through the doorway, heading left.

Missingno yells after it. “You owe me one! Don’t forget!” He sighs. “Who am I kidding. You’ll forget. Chickens aren’t all that bright.”

Pretty sure Zapdos wouldn’t like being compared to a chicken. And I’m not sure if I believe that myth.

“But myths are legends, and it is a legendary Pokemon.”

… True. By the way, Cassandra left a while ago.

“Oh no! She might accidentally pick up an item! Why didn’t you warn me earlier!” Missingno jumps over the Electrode and crashes through the newly fixed wall to run after her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe you.” Cassandra crosses her arms.

Missingno looks at her. “You can’t believe me? That’s my line.”

“What, because I got to a HP UP before you could finish taking all the items before me?”

“Exactly!” He grumbles. “Guess we can deal with losing that one.”

“Lose? I’m going to use it.” She hands the small jar to Driller, who looks at it before splashing it on his face.

“Perfect. That’s one problem solved. Why don’t you hold onto this Escape Rope that I kept from you in Mt. Moon. That should solve everything.”

Cassandra glares at him, but takes the rope anyway and puts it in her bag. “So, how do we get back to Rock Tunnel?” She looks at the cliff that separates them.

“Ha! Time to Surf!” He runs to the river and dives in. When he emerges, he has changed into a Seel-like creature. Without a neck, and more round, he splashes around. “Let’s go!”

As Cassandra walks toward him, she notices a slim figure hiding around the corner of the cliff. “Uh, who is that?”

“That’s the Pokemaniac where the Rhyhorn came from. He seems to have come to train it, but never goes inside. Then again, none of his Pokemon seem to have Surf, so how he got here is beyond me.”

She feels another tap on her shoulder. She turns to see Zapdos again. “Do you need something?”

It turns around, spreads its wings, and looks back at her.

“Oh, you’ll fly us over? Thanks, this is much safer.” She climbs onto its back.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” He flails his fins.

“It means that you would drop us in the water if it could make a joke.”

“... True.”

Zapdos beats its wings to lift off the ground. It grabs Missingno in its claws and with a strong push, lifts into the air.

“See, Zapdos isn’t mad. You were worried for nothing.”

As they approach Rock Tunnel, it dives, pulling up at the last moment, but throwing Missingno against a wall.

… Yup. Not mad at all.

Cassandra jumps off Zapdos’s back and waves as it flies back. She heads into the Pokecenter by the tunnel to heal Driller before preparing to enter. She looks at Missingno. “You planning to just lay there all day?”

He jumps up, now back to normal. “Can you believe everything we have done today? The S.S. Anne, Lt. Surge, the Power Plant…”

“And there is still plenty of time before the sun sets.”

Missingno shrugs. “So why don’t we go train for a bit and then stop here for the day?”

“Come on, we can make it through the tunnel. We’ll set up camp on the other side.”

“I guess. At least I have a place to put my knife collection.” He holds up a set of kitchen knives.

“What?”

“I always leave my knives lying around in caves. Makes everything a lot more fun.”

She shakes her head. “In we go.”

“Ooo, you need Flash to get through Rock Tunnel. I can be the Human Torch now!” He clicks a button on his forehead, and a light emits from his mouth.

“That’s good. Driller can’t learn Flash, so that will really help.”

They duck into the entrance, and find themselves at the bottom of a ladder.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow at it. “Again?” She looks around. “... Oh no.”

Missingno clicks the button again. “Yeah, unfortunately the tunnel is already lit. Makes sense for it to be this way since so many people use it. Which means no Human Torch… again.”

Cassandra motions to the massive amount of super buff humanoid Zubats.

“Oh. Yeah. That too. That’s pretty bad.”







(You ready for Pokemon gijinka and fusion high jinks? Get ready for next time!

Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well.)