OtakuDragon_RedWolf
Well-Known Member
Chapter 39- A Random Buffness
Standing in front of them are creatures that are almost completely human-like. And even though they are ridiculously buff, they wear blue tuxedos with long, thin coat tails. On their backs are small blue wings with purple insides, but even those can be written off. The weird part is the head. Blue skin and void of hair or features beyond similar blue and purple ears and a giant mouth that covers the whole face and has four pointed teeth.
Cassandra stares at them. “Is it bad that I find this that disturbing?”
“Trust me, combine Zubat’s face with anything, human or another Pokemon, and it turns out weird. I tried them all.”
The ‘Zubats’ fill the entire cave, practically back to back.
Missingno perks up. “I was wondering where all the Zubats were in Mt. Moon. Usually there are massive amounts, but I guess they all came here.”
“Whatever. If they want a fight, then we can TWINEEDLE!”
“...” Driller tilts his head at her.
“Uh, Missingno?”
“Oh, he no longer knows Twineedle. He does know Twi Needle, though.”
“... Alright, then use Twi Needle.”
“Wait!” He pulls Driller back. “Can’t you see the crazed, hypnotized look in their eyes?”
“... I’m not even going to respond.”
“But you just did.” He winks at her, and she rolls her eyes.
“So, what do you suggest?”
He hops up on a soap box. “My fellow brothers! Look to me!”
The Zubats all face toward him and emit a high pitched screech.
Missingno holds his ears. “Stop looking! Stop looking!”
The Zubats quiet down, and Missingno continues on. “Alright, just listen. You don’t have to let the MAN bring you down. You are your own selves. I mean, look at you. You’re all ridiculously buff. The only one that has the Strength to stop you is yourself. Break off the Haze that covers your eyes! Use the Rage that exists within you! Continue to Stomp out your future! There is no Substitute for the Swift movement to Take Down those who oppress! Never Rest!” He looks to Cassandra. “Do you have anymore Pokemon move puns?
“No.”
“Then that’s good enough! Rise up! Vive La Résistance! Tell me your desires!”
The Zubats give an assortment of grunts and cries. They turn and charge farther into the tunnel.
“... Close enough.”
“What now?”
“Now, we see if Driller can Dig it!”
“...”
“...”
Missingno and Cassandra stare at each other for a while before Missingno breaks the silence. “I’m serious.” He holds up a shovel.
After he demonstrates to Driller how to dig up some dirt, he hands the shovel over. Driller holds it awkwardly in his spear-hands, and slowly moves towards the floor. He stabs it in and proceeds to Dig at a blinding speed. In a few short moments, he has dug through the floor and into the level below.
Cassandra glares at him. “Great. You officially taught my Pokemon a move it physically can’t learn. What move did you get rid of?”
Missingno grins. “None. I said I could teach anyone how to Dig a hole. I never said that they would forget something else.”
Cassandra’s eyes widen. “So…”
He poses. “I have broken the four move limit! Who needs just four moves when you can have them all!”
“Too bad he can’t re-learn any of the moves from the levels before he evolved.”
“There’s just Fury Attack and Focus Energy. And I already talked about the problem with the second one.”
“And Fury Attack?”
He places a hand on her shoulder. “A worthy sacrifice.”
She pushes him back and down the hole. She then jumps down after him.
Below, Missingno finishes inflating a bouncy castle. He wipes the sweat off his forehead. “There. I’m done with the joke that has everyone use me to land safely.”
Cassandra falls down, bounces off the castle, and lands on Missingno.
Missingno flails for a bit before lying limp. “You know you could have written it that she falls safely thanks to my ingenious plan, right?”
Yup.
After Cassandra gets off him, Missingno stands up. Driller flies up to him and flails his spear-hands up and down.
“Aw, are you worried about me? Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He holds out a fist. “Thanks for not falling on me this time.”
Driller fist bumps him… or in his case, fist stabs him. Missingno clutches his bloody hand and breathes deeply.
“Are you okay?”
Missingno laughs and holds up his perfectly fine hand. “Of course.”
Cassandra shakes her head and walks farther into the cave. She checks out the lights that line the walls, all the way up the tall sides and over the ceiling, way overhead. As she walks, the lights along the walls grow dimmer. “What are we looking for?”
She nearly trips over something. She looks down to see a small creature only about a foot high. It’s hard to see in the little light, but she can make out the round figure with stubby arms, legs and ears.
“Oh, it’s a Jigglypuff. I didn’t know there were wild ones in this cave.” She reaches down to pet it.
The lights suddenly grow brighter, revealing the creature’s appearance. Cassandra jumps back. “What is that?!”
Missingno runs up with Driller in tow. “Hey, I fixed the light problem!” He looks at the creature. It looks like a Jigglypuff, but is blue, and instead of a face it has a giant mouth with four large teeth. “Oh, a Zupuff. Remember how I said that a lot of things look weird with Zubat’s face/mouth? Well, one of the strangest is this. And don’t get me started on Golpuff or Fearpuff.”
“You seem really calm.”
“Of course. Now if it would be really bad if it was a Zubuffpuff.”
The Zupuff flexes its small arms, which change into large buff ones.
“... RETREAT!” Missingno runs back to the bouncy castle and jumps on.
( All your buff are belong to us! And now Driller can learn more than the ridiculously low four moves. Good for him.
Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Creatures inc, and GAME FREAK inc. Missingno is an original spin on the Pokemon owned by them as well. )
