1. We have moved to a new forum system. All your posts and data should have transferred over. Welcome, to the new Serebii Forums. Details here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. We have received legal notice about the sharing of certain images for Pokémon Sword & Shield. Due to this, we have a new rule. If you post said images, you will be removed from the forums until 15:00 UTC on November 14th 2019. We have also killed the leak discussion threads for the time being. Thank you for your patience during this. If you have any queries, use the contact form
  3. Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders
    Dismiss Notice

re: A Vulpix Tail

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Brutaka, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    A reboot of A Different Kind of PMD Story (A Vulpix Tail). It can be, and has been, considered both in the PMD and Trainer fic genres. So make of that as you will.

    I figured the old thread was far too old to mess with. It'd be very confusing to onlookers too. So, as I did with TTL, I'm rebooting this as well.

    -Mild Teenager Stuff (infrequent, nondescript sexual humor / tasteful use of mild swears / lots of angst)
    -Non-graphic violence (If you don't care for this, you should probably give up on the whole franchise, js)
    -Extremely occasional, non-descript nudity (like, it shows up in the prologue and chapter 1, but that'll be about it for the rest of the story)

    PM List
    -Klizcool ; Trickster Zorua ; Azurus ; JFought ;

    If you want on the PM List, let me know! If you were on the old PM List, you will have to tell me to put you on the new one.

    Chapter List

    Chapter 0

    Luke stared at his new, expensive backpack with contempt. It sat there on his desk chair, mocking him. The simple blue and black design did nothing to hide its true meaning from its owner. For the past week, it occupied the space in that chair, and Luke wouldn't touch it. His parents didn't quite understand what this bag had done to him to warrant such disapproval. He had to admit, though, that it wasn't the bag's fault. The bag was just concrete evidence of something he had been dreading: he was going to challenge the Pokemon League. He didn't want to go, but his parents really didn't care.

    He sighed and shook his head at the pristine pack. Looking away, he stared across his disorganized room at the calendar on the wall. It was September 25. His glance hovered over the red ring imposed on tomorrow's date before tearing himself away from the calendar entirely. He turned, pulled the curtains in front of his window aside, and looked out at the small town of Accumula. It was nearly pitch-black outside. The new moon was barely yesterday, so the only light to be seen were the few street lamps in the middle of the city. Even those were dim to Luke since his house was at the edge of town. He studied the bleak scene for a few minutes. Distracted, he used his reflection to slide his long, blond hair out of his face. He wasn't the kind of person to be thoughtful about views from tall places; he was simply procrastinating.

    He should have started preparing for his departure yesterday. He hadn’t.

    It wasn't that he was scared of walking around semi-maintained paths through the wilderness with multitudes of super-powerful animals waiting to jump pedestrians. He just didn't want to. His scrawny form was much better suited to sitting at home, video game controller in hand, than climbing mountains. His parents assured him that there would be no mountain climbing or any other extraneous activity involved, but that didn’t sway his opinion.

    Unfortunately, his parents weren't giving him a choice in the matter. His father was a successful gym trainer in Castelia City, and if Luke didn't follow in his footsteps, he'd disappoint his whole family. Or so they said, anyway. Luke’s family line had a history of being gym trainers, and this apparently implied that he should follow suit. But this meant that he had to compete in the Unova Circuit and earn the badge of the gym he wanted to apply for. This also meant he had to earn every badge before that, as per the job requirements. But he didn’t want to work in any gym. Quite frankly, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life at all. But it definitely wasn’t that.

    He couldn't stay though. His mother would create Hell on Earth if he did that. Luke supposed that would be marginally worse than crawling through dirt and being without WiFi for extended periods of time.

    "Luke!" his mother called from down the hall, disturbing his inner monologue. "Have you started packing yet?"

    "Uh, no," he responded. If he lied, she would have found out anyway.

    "Uh, then why not?" The small woman with scraggly, dirty-blond hair appeared in his doorway with a disappointed frown on her face.

    "I dunno. I'll get to it. It won’t take that long."

    She stared at Luke for a few seconds before rolling her eyes. "Whatever. Packed or not, you're going tomorrow. I love you, sweetie, but you can't sit at that desk forever." She didn't need or want a response, so she went back to whatever she was doing before.

    Just as Luke was about to take out his phone to check his blog for the thirteenth time in past two hours, his mom called back out to him, "Oh, I almost forgot. Your clothes are in the dryer, and you need to go get them so I can keep going with the laundry."

    The boy sighed in resignation. He collected the laundry hamper in the corner of room, dumped the clean clothes that were still there from last time onto his bed, and hurried downstairs with the empty basket. Halfway through his living room, he heard a faint knock at the door. Curious, he put the basket down, walked slowly over to the door, and looked out the peephole. There was no one there.

    He frowned - then shrugged. He figured it must of been his imagination. As he went to retrieve the basket, he heard the knock again. Now convinced that he wasn't just hearing things, he went back to the door. He still couldn't see anyone outside, but his curiosity got the better of him. He unlocked the door and slowly pulled it open.

    Luke didn't know what he was expecting to find, but it was certainly not the nude, teenage girl with fiery, red hair that was kneeling on his doormat. Before she could say anything, Luke slammed the door shut. He stared at the closed door for nearly a full minute thinking a variety of different thoughts before calling out, "Mom!"

    "What is it, Luke?" she called back from upstairs.

    "There's a naked girl at the door!"

    I debated on whether to have start with clothes or not.

    I hope you're not confused as to which one I chose.
    As to why I chose it.


    I dunno, it makes more sense? Yeah, we'll go with that

    Anyway, Chapter 1 will be out within the hour.
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2014
  2. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Chapter 1

    She was sad, scared, alone, and in a dark forest she didn't recognize. Nor did she even recognize herself. Though she awoke without any clear memory of just about anything, she knew for certain that she didn't used to be a human. At least, that’s what she guessed she was now. She was surprised to find that they even existed, but she didn't remember exactly why that would be surprising. She wanted to doubt what was happening - to call it a hallucination. But it was too real. The air was too cold. For a time, she sat curled up under a tree in an attempt to keep warm. She couldn't understand how any creature could survive without some sort of protection against the elements. She couldn't even make the smallest of flames anymore.

    None of this looked familiar, and to her, that meant she was very far from her home. She didn't know who are what did this to her, nor did she know why, but she pleaded to Arceus in hopes for a return to her previous life. But it seemed, at least for the time being, that the former Vulpix had no choice but to try to find a way back herself.

    While she didn't want to be seen like this, she realized she didn't have a better option than to try to find someone else to help her. She couldn't do this alone, nor did she want to. So she crawled away from her tree the best she was able to in her foreign body. Her legs were longer than she was accustomed to, so she crawled on her knees instead. The skin on her hands didn't have tough pads to protect them, so every rock and pointy bit of plant matter slowed her progress.

    Eventually, she saw a faint light through the trees, and she followed it. When she broke through the tree line, she was amazed at what she saw. She had seen buildings before, but none this structured. They were perfect - they didn't have any cracks, uneven paint splatters, or loose metal bits. They were also very, very tall - almost like two houses stacked on top of each other. Light streamed continuously from the windows of some of these houses, and it didn't flicker like the candlelight she was familiar with. Light could also be seen emanating from the tops of very tall poles anchored to the ground. She wondered how they managed to make this light without using fire. The sheer difference between this and what she was used to was enough to remind her how far from home she was.

    Knowing that she'd never get back to the way she used to be while just sitting there, she decided to go to the house closest to her to ask for help. The human that opened the door surprised her. Not only was this person covered in some sort of colorful material, but he was standing on his back legs. He stared at her for several seconds with wide, surprised eyes before shutting the door quickly. Startled, she backed away a bit.

    Looking down at her long legs again, she realized that humans must be primarily bipedal. Some Pokemon were also bipedal, so that made sense to her. Vulpix walked on all four legs, though, so she didn't know how to walk upright. But walking in the way her form was designed to might speed up her search.

    She scanned the wall of the house and found it riddled with smooth, ordered ridges. She placed a hand onto the wall and found she could use her delicate fingers to latch onto things - another feature that was new to her. After testing this newfound ability, she grabbed hold of the bumpy surface of the side of the house with both hands. Carefully and slowly, she pulled herself off the ground. She put her first foot flat on the smooth stone beneath her, and it was soon followed by the second. She wobbled but held herself steady with the wall. When she felt ready, she released her hold from the ridges and let herself stand free. It was a strange and new experience. She felt tall.

    Her success in standing like a human was interrupted when the door next to her suddenly burst open. An angry women, somewhat shorter than the red-haired girl, stomped out of it. She started berating the confused girl for things like "indecency" and "being hopped up on drugs". The former Vulpix didn't have any idea what any of these accusations were or how they applied to her. Nonetheless, the woman's rage terrified her. She took a few steps backwards, but she only managed to trip over her ankles. She fell backwards and scraped her arm against the hard concrete. She teared up and rubbed her arm. She also mentally noted that this form was frailer than she had expected.

    The older woman groaned at her fall and pulled out a small, gray object from her pocket. After jabbing it a few times, she starting talking into it for a reason the girl couldn't place. She was able to hear the woman call her a "drunk, nude, teenage girl". She wasn't intoxicated, and being furless was nothing strange among humans from what she could infer from the two others she's seen. She must of been doing something wrong without realizing it, but there was no way to correct it if she didn't know what the problem was.

    The woman retreated into the house after putting the device away. The door shut with a slam, and the girl was left alone in the dark. She didn't know where to go next, but she clearly wasn't welcome at this house. She used the building's wall to lift herself to her feet again, and she carefully walked away from it. She saw what appeared to be a bench under one of the poles that had the light on top of them. She laid on the bench and kept herself warm the best she could. She stayed there for several minutes, silently lamenting her misfortune and confusion.

    She was lost in every way, and she only wanted someone to help her.

    Her thoughts were interrupted when she was approached by two serious-looking people covered in rugged, navy-blue material. Each of them donned a piece of shiny metal on their chest that reflected the light above her.

    The taller one with broad shoulders spoke first. "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." This human must have been male.

    "Who are you? Are... are you going to help me? I'm very lost..." the red-haired girl admitted sadly.

    The slightly shorter one with the more serious face said sternly, "We're the police, as if it wasn't obvious. You're going to come back with us to the station, and you can tell us all about your story later." This one was female.

    The policewoman grabbed the girl's arm tightly and yanked her to her feet. The two officers forced her arms behind her and pushed her along. The ex-Pokemon was even more scared now. But she didn't struggle. She didn't have the strength to break away from these people, nor did she want to get into even more trouble than she already was.

    Once at the station, they put her into a gray room, but not before jabbing her in the arm with a strangle needle. It didn't pump anything inside of her - instead it took some of her blood away. The girl didn't have any idea what they were going to do with it, but she was too intimidated to ask questions. They also gave her a blanket, but it was thin and mostly ineffective. The girl watched other people walk back and forth in front of the room through a barred hole near the top of the door.

    A few minutes later, a policeman threw some piles of cloth into room and told her to put them on. She didn't know what that meant. She noticed they looked like the stuff the other people were covered in, though they were gray and dirty looking. She picked them up, but without any idea what they were, she just stared at them.

    "Hey! Stop looking at 'em and put 'em on," the policeman said through the door.

    "What are these?" she asked innocently.

    The man sighed. "Clothes. Good lord, how much have you had to drink?"

    "What does that have to do with anything?" She didn't see how water would change the amount of knowledge she had about these strange objects.

    "Are you kidding me? What-" The man was interrupted by another one of his partners. She couldn't hear what he was saying very clearly. Then the first man grunted and remarked, "She's clean? That makes matters much more interesting..."

    The officer turned his attention back to the girl. "So you're not drunk then. Are you playing with me, then? Is that it? You can't seriously not know what clothes are, can you?"

    She shook her head. "No, I can't. I woke up in the forest out there without my memory. I can't remember anything." She feared that if she mentioned her previous, native form, she might ruin whatever credibility she had. She didn’t want to believe what happened to her when she first woke up. She feared no one else would either.

    "Amnesia, huh? Hmm..." The man thought for a moment and left the door window.

    A couple minutes later, a female officer entered the room. This was a different woman than the one that found her on the bench. She was taller and had a softer face. "Hello. I was told that you needed help getting dressed."

    "Mhmm," the girl affirmed with a nod. "I can't remember anything..."

    "What a poor soul..." the officer muttered. "Okay, here, let me help you."

    The women pulled the girl from the bed and gathered up the clothes. She helped the red-head put them on gently. The former Vulpix took mental notes of everything so that she could do it again later if she had to. After she was dressed, the girl was lead from her room and into another that was nearly identical. This room didn't have a bed but instead had a plain, wooden table and two chairs. She was told to sit in one of the chairs and wait for someone else. She remembered seeing another human sitting in the main room when she was lead here, so she mimicked that position in the chair closest to the door.

    While she waited, she noticed the small light hanging from the ceiling. She was still amazed at all of this. She had never seen anything like any of it - something she knew as fact, despite her amnesia. Was this what humans were capable of? The girl somewhat feared what else they might be able to do.

    She turned her head to follow a policeman that just entered the room to his seat. This one looked a little like the others, though this one had fur on the bottom part of his face in addition to on top of his head. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm Sheriff Johns. What's your name?"

    "N-name? I don't have one..." she sheepishly admitted.

    The officer was surprised. "You don't have a name? How you can you not have a name? Or do you just not remember it?"

    "I don't know. I can't remember a lot of things."

    He used a weird-looking stick to scratch strange markings onto a pristine, white page. "Okay then. How about we start with what you do remember?"

    "Well, um... I woke up in a forest. I was very scared and lost and cold and lonely... So I crawled to town-”

    “‘Crawled’?” the man asked. “You couldn’t walk?”

    “I... I didn’t know how.” She rubbed her arm shyly. It was a gesture she wasn’t familiar with, and she briefly wondered why she did it at all.

    The man jotted more scribbles onto his page. “Okay. Keep going, please.”

    “Um, well, after that, I found a house. So I tried asking for help, but they just got mad at me.”

    The officer grunted. “Can’t imagine why...” he muttered sarcastically.

    Ignoring the sarcasm, she continued. “I know, I just wanted help... But seeing the people walking made me realize how to do it, so I was able stand on my feet. But I was still lost and confused, so I went to a bench. And that’s when you people took me.”

    When the officer was done scratching lines into his paper, he looked up at the girl and sighed. “Well, I’m not sure what to do. My boys say you’re not in the system. Fingerprints, DNA, nothing. Now that’s mighty confusing because everyone’s in the system. Everyone but you, that is. Why is that?”

    “I... I don’t remember,” she lied. She knew why - she wasn’t a human until today. She didn’t know what system they were talking about, but she guessed that it probably couldn’t account for species switching. Unless it was common, but that didn't seem true to her.

    "Without any idea who you are, we can't track down family or even anyone you might know. With your amnesia on top of it - if you aren't lying to me - it just makes the whole matter worse." He tapped the stick in his hand against the table absentmindedly as he tried thinking up ideas.

    She then had to decide if she should tell him her secret or not. "Well... I - I haven't been as completely open about this as I could be... I just... I just don't think you'd believe me."

    He raised an eyebrow. "If there's something we're missing here that we need to know, you have to tell us. Or you’ll be in a mighty big trouble."

    "I - Okay. I just didn't want you to think I was crazy." She fell silent for a few seconds. "The reason I don't have a name, or that I didn't know how to walk in the forest, or that I didn't even know what these... things you call 'clothes' even were is because... this is my first day as a human."

    The officer stared at the girl with an dull expression. He scratched a few things onto his paper and then motioned for the girl to continue.

    "I don't know why, or - or how... but all I remember is that I was a Vulpix with a family and friends and a home... and now... now I'm just cold and... alone..." She looked down at the table sadly.

    The man sighed. "I can see why you'd think people would call you crazy. I'm darn-near tempted to myself. But for civility's sake, I'll refrain for now. Let's approach this rationally, shall we?"

    The man pulled a small, red-and-white sphere from his belt and pressed a black button in the middle. The girl stared in amazement as the ball opened with a burst of light. A second later, the light solidified as a pink Pokemon with a forked tail sitting on the table.

    "What? What was all that? How did you... but..." the girl sputtered, astonished.

    He held the sphere up for her to see. "This is a Pokeball. Brilliant little invention, I must say. It makes Pokemon like Espeon here easier to carry around."

    "Wait, so... Espeon was inside there? You just... trap them in there?" She was somewhat horrified at the thought of squishing a Pokemon inside a tiny ball.

    <"It's not that bad,"> the Espeon said with a small shrug.

    "Oh. Well, what's it like?" the girl said to the Pokemon.

    <"A little like a dream, I guess you could say... Wait, hold on. You... you can understand me?"> She sounded surprised.

    "Yes, I can understand you. Why wouldn't I?"

    The officer cleared his throat. "Because Pokemon don't talk, girl."

    <"At least in a language the humans can understand, anyway,"> the Espeon chimed in.

    The officer continued. "I brought this Espeon out so she could read your mind and tell me that you were lying. But instead, I just witnessed a girl we found naked on a park bench claim to be a Vulpix, and then proceeded to have a conversation with a Pokemon!" He stood up suddenly, bumping the table as he did so, and walked over to the door. "I've been sheriff of Accumula Town for over fifteen years now, and never in my whole life have I seen this amount of insanity. I know I said I’d approach this rationally, but I’m done. Someone else can deal with you."

    The girl winced as he shut the door with a loud slam. "Did... did I do something wrong?" she asked aloud.

    <"Don't mind him. He's just a bit set in his ways. Can't handle too much crazy. Or any crazy, really.">

    "Espeon... do... do you think I'm crazy?" she asked softly.

    The Pokemon thought for a moment. <"Well, I've never seen anyone who could talk to us before. But I don't think that makes you crazy.">

    Espeon sniffed the air and frowned. <"That's strange. You don't smell like a human. Forget the police, now I'm interested."> The Pokemon's purple eyes and the single red gemstone on her forehead glowed a brilliant light blue. Her glare cut right into the red-haired girl's mind. All the girl could do is stare back, eyes wide. Minutes passed, but eventually the Espeon closed her eyes and the girl was released. She felt dizzy, so she brought a hand to her forehead to steady herself.

    The Pokemon was silent for a moment. Then she said, amused, <"Most peculiar. I can't say much, Vulpix, but I think the professor would love to talk to you. Wait here.">

    Espeon jumped from the table and stared at the door. It made a clicking noise and pushed open, seemingly of its own volition. The Pokemon walked out and ran down the hall.

    Vulpix, the girl thought. She called me Vulpix. She smiled, happy that someone else believed her.

    Espeon then returned with a human in tow. The man noticed the girl in the room and said, "Espeon wanted me to come in here. You wouldn't happen to have any clue why, would you?"

    <"Tell him that you need to go see the professor.">

    "Um, she wants me to go see the professor," the girl said, going along with the Pokemon.

    The man scratched his head. "Juniper? What for? I doubt that's what Espeon wanted. She probably just wants food or something."

    Espeon rolled her eyes. <"Humans,"> she spat.

    The red-haired girl giggled. "No, she isn't hungry. She said it herself - I have to go see the professor. For some reason." She shrugged.

    "'Said'? What do you mean by 'said'? Pokemon don't say anything." The officer was incredibly confused. If the sheriff was right about humans not being able to understand Pokemon, then the girl could see why.

    "I... I can talk to them. And that's what she said." She didn't know how to put it any other way.

    The man gave her an incredulous look. "You can talk to Pokemon? Sure, when Spoink fly. Ugh. It's the end of my shift. I'm going home. I'll tell the sheriff what Espeon... said and let him deal with it." The man left with a shake of his head.

    The girl looked down at the ground. "I wish people would believe me."

    <"Like I said, humans can't understand us. We can understand them just fine though. Really shows which breed is smarter, doesn't it?">

    The girl smiled wistfully at the Pokemon. "Yeah... I wish I was still a Vulpix. I feel so cold without my flame..."

    The Espeon nodded sympathetically. <"Maybe you'll find a way back someday. Arceus only knows.">

    "I guess so. I'm not sure what I should do in the meanti..." the girl trailed off when she noticed the Sheriff was staring at her from the hallway.

    He took a deep breath as if to calm himself and said gruffly, "One of my boys said that you told him that Espeon wants you to go talk to the professor. I still think you're a nutcase, but I called Juniper, and she said she'd be willing to look after you for a few days anyway. So tomorrow morning, we'll take you down to her in her lab in Nuvema, and she can have you. Anything to get you out of my hair." He rubbed his temple and walked away.

    "Why is he so mean?" the girl asked quietly.

    <"He's typically not. He just doesn't have a very high tolerance meter."> The Pokemon shrugged.

    Another officer came and showed the girl back to her other room with the bed in it. Espeon managed to follow her in, and the officer wouldn't dare try to remove her.

    I had intended for the girl’s section to be only half of what it is, but I felt that her side should be shown better.

    This chapter was hard to do tactfully. I hope I didn’t scare any of you off with the mental image of a naked girl crawling through a dark forest.
  3. JFought

    JFought Sloooowly writing...

    Wow. I got lucky! The day I come back to Serebii to check for updates, was the day this fanfic got a rewrite! I really liked where you were going with the original, and I can safely say the same for the current.

    Luke's story is relatable, and Vulpix's story is well-planned out. I like how you went about her coming into the Pokemon world this time around. The main difference between traditional PMD and this type of PMD, is that Humans are a lot less likely to believe you, what with how stubborn we are. And you did incorporate that fact into the story well. I also liked her point of view on the matter.

    I would like to find a spot back on the PM list, if at all possible. I'm excited to see this story get a reboot. ;)

    Edit: I'm starting to feel bad about not going in depth when reviewing chapters. Especially since I'm the first post here. You know what? I have the time! Analysis mode, ACTIVATE!
    And for convenience, I will put it all in a spoiler to keep from constant scrolling down for the viewers who don't care.
    (Looks like I was too slow anyway. But I'm not stopping now!)
    Huh. didn't notice that the first time. My attention span sometimes >.<

    I absolutely adore how you worded that. Personally, after you described it like THAT, I'd be scared out of my mind.

    So we continue on the notion that in the Pokemon-ruled world, Humans are only a legend. We also see that she is CLEARLY more of a realist than Shane was (Wonder if there will still be a reference to him).

    This is probably one of the highlights of the chapter. I love seeing her reaction to all of our technologies and conveniences. Maybe it just makes me feel cool to see those types of reactions. Or maybe our species in general just feel pleasure at having something others don't and making them know it.

    Wow. I feel sorry for Luke his mother is harsh. But really that's not saying much, since my mother was never like that normally.


    He's only a minor character, but I like Sheriff Johns. You showed his personality well, and he just became that much more likeable.

    This man is suffering from a severe case of stereotypitis. But it's not too late to save him. Call (insert number here) and together, we can find a cure. (It was rather this or another joke I just couldn't let it go)

    If you want criticism, don't look at me. I'm only good at pointing out the strong points. But I will say that I felt that Chapter 1 was a little rushed. But it was easy to follow, so that makes up for it. Again, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2014
  4. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    I guess I'm bad when it comes to describing people because I don't know what else to say about him >_<
    So far, we know that he's scrawny and he has long, blond hair.
    I suppose I haven't touched much on height or eye color, but I had no real opportunity to do that yet - the Prologue was rather short.
    I guess you can picture the kind of scrawny tall guy who commonly gets mistaken for a stoner, but isn't actually a stoner.

    We haven't seen much of the girl's description either, but there was similarly no real place to do that either, I feel.

    Sure, and I'm glad you like it so far!
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2014
  5. SableVulpi

    SableVulpi Here To Review

    Alright, time to review this prologue like I promised I would.

    So not much really happened in this chapter. It was mostly Luke being introduced and showing how his life is at the current moment. And while I may never quite know his position, I can say that I can empathize with him. I imagine becoming a Pokemon trainer and having to leave home would be pretty difficult, even if it sounds pretty awesome. Change is a very difficult thing for humans to adapt to and we often try to keep our lives the same as much as we can.

    I also find it rather funny how you have Luke retrieving his clothes when he finds the Vulpix girl at his doorstep. Pretty ironic if you ask me.

    Lastly, I must admit that I'm slightly weirded out that the Vulpix girl shows up at his door naked, but I suppose it makes sense that she wouldn't have any clothes after coming to the human world. Maybe. I suppose it could have gone either way. At least you weren't descriptive about it.
  6. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    It was also only a page and a half long ;)

    Well... It's not so much aversion to change. That's Shane's issue: he didn't leave on his journey directly because of a fear of change.
    Luke, on the other hand, is just incredibly lazy. Which is something I think we can all empathize with.

    Yeah t-that was totally intentional. I didn't just notice that right now. I didn't use that just as an excuse to get Luke downstairs. Yup. Sure indeedy. >_> <_<

    As you said, it could have gone either way. Of course, that imply that whoever sent her into this world designed clothes for her. I dunno.
  7. Azurus

    Azurus The Ancient Absol

    Hah, lukes laundry habits are similar to mine, but I just dump them on an unused chair instead :/

    Anyway, I like this re-write a lot better, and makes more sense and isn't as awkward to read.

    Looking forward to another part, sorry it took so long to get here.
  8. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Luke's laundry habits are actually my laundry habits, and I'm not ashamed of that!

    Sure. I mean, stories with a naked girl crawling around is much less awkward than stories where the girl has clothes. /shot

Share This Page