Read this before Posting your Fan-Fic!

[Evanarios]

Side note: I don't know if anyone has thought of this or whatever but I figured we need this before posting their Fic. This is an example of what you should not do in your Fan-Fic. This is meant for "Newbies" who would like to see if their "Novel" is not as Novel as they think(I doubt they think though, hehe)


CHAPTER 1 - Johto Journeys

It was a beautiful day. I just woke up, Mom was cooking my favorite; bacon and eggs. I yawned, and yelled "Mom! Bring the food up!" With extreme gratitude. Mom yelled quickly "Okay!" I waited for what seemed like forever, two minutes... Then I noticed something was not right... My mom forgot the butter on my toast! Such blasphemy is not tolerated in my household.
"YOU FORGOT THE BUTTER" I yelled with spite. "Soorrry" Mom said sorrily.
Later that day I was going to get my Pokemon from Professor Pussy Willow. I walked in with extreme happiness, "Yo Pussy wheres the Pokemon?"
"Ah yes I have been waiting for you Sand." Pussy Willow said with no tone at all. "You are the chosen one, you must go to Mount Vermont and find the Rock of Holiness. Errr, I mean Clefairy Cave... No, wait here you go." Pussy Willow handed the golden ball over to Sand.
"Omg this is for me?!?!" Sand yelled. "Yes, you are the chosen one!!!!" Pussywillow cried out. Sand threw the ball with extreme force and skill, it hit the wall and ricocheted. Killing Pussywillow. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Sand yelled with extreme sadness. "The Pokeball didn't open! ..Piece of crap!" Sand stormed out of the building with anger. Sand then walked into the forest and saw a pinkish creature "OMG MEW!"...



To be Continued...

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If your story resembles this, think twice. It probably sucks, if it is mildly similar you may also have ran into a problem. Try to be more original, do not use cliches: (The whole story is a cliche off of the Pokemon TV show, .. kind of.) Dialogue is also very important... I want to see real life texture in every glimpse of your story. If your story starts start off with a cliche you will turn off potential readers.

Space out your story, use correct paragraphing and general structure... Grammar and spelling is also CRUCIAL. Be creative, I know you have it in you!

(Yes this took me like 10 minutes... If your story takes 10 minutes, please rethink it)

(Read the Advice for Aspiring Authors Thread, it is very useful and can turn a Noob into a Pro if followed correctly)

Good ay!

~Evanarios

READ THIS:

"It was a beautiful day. I just woke up, Mom was cooking my favorite; bacon and eggs. I yawned, and yelled "Mom! Bring the food up!" With extreme gratitude." - This is so common and boring... If I see this I will not read your Fic 90% of the time.

"Mom yelled quickly "Okay!" I waited for what seemed like forever, two minutes..." - You don't need Adverbs for everything people say, trust me ITS ANNOYING. Also don't be so lame with common used phrases... Make up new ones.

""YOU FORGOT THE BUTTER" I yelled with spite. "Soorrry" Mom said sorrily."" - Too many adverbs! you said yell without having some hidden meaning, and sorrily is a word... And it's stupid, don't use it. Thesaurus is for Winners!


"Later that day I was going to get my Pokemon from Professor Pussy Willow. I walked in with extreme happiness, "Yo Pussy wheres the Pokemon?"" - Super cliche(All this getting Pokemon from Professors... If you do do this, do it right), and please don't use "Later that day" You don't need this... You can transition in time without any words.. It's understood that your character didn't teleport from his house to the Professor's building. Also "I walked in with extreme happiness" makes me want to die if I read such stupid use of over description. MORE IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER, MODERATION IS KEY.


""Omg this is for me?!?!" Sand yelled. "Yes, you are the chosen one!!!!" Pussywillow cried out. Sand threw the ball with extreme force and skill, it hit the wall and ricocheted. Killing Pussywillow. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Sand yelled with extreme sadness. "The Pokeball didn't open! ..Piece of crap!" Sand stormed out of the building with anger. Sand then walked into the forest and saw a pinkish creature "OMG MEW!"..." - Cliches, too many adverbs... I switched from 1st to 3rd person for no reason.. Also you will not find legendary Pokemon easily, this is stupid... Also this Cliffhanger is stupid... BUT you always should end in a Cliffhanger, but don't always make it something amazing or unrealistic.

Note: Yes I intended on making this humorous. Thanks for reading! Continue on your Dream to become the Best

 

[Silawen]

Eh, not too sure I think this is a thread we need. You don't even actually explain what's wrong with it all. Why don't you go through that paragraph and thoroughly explain why it 'sucks' and why they thus need to do things differently? That would help writers a lot more than just writing down a faulty paragraph and saying 'this is what you don't do'.

How will they know what not to do when you don't mention them or show what they should do? That makes this thread a bit meaningless to me, to be honest.

 

[Diddy]

Later that day I was going to get my Pokemon from Professor Pussy Willow.

if it is mildly similar you may also have ran into a problem.

Sooo, any fic, be it a journey fic or even a fic that possibly re-tells the events of Ruby/Sapphire and Emerald, whatever it may be, that has a kid getting their first pokemon from the professor of said region or town, (Why is there only one professor per region?) is therefore cliched.

Not only is it canon that you recieve a pokemon from the prof, but it is also an immensely easy way to start a story, not that I've done it myself but...

And since when couldn't we have characters called Pussy Willow!

Silawen has a point, make note of what is cliche unnaceptable and what is cliche acceptable. It helps more than this is bad, don't do it kids. I mean, look how effective G.I Joe was. People still do drugs.

 

[Evanarios]

I Guess I could go into more description of what is wrong... Later. Yeah the cliche of going to the Prof, getting your starting Pokemon is overused. Of course you can be creative and original with it, but don't be so boring.

Good ay!

~Evanarios

 

[The Unknown Twinkie]

This is so funny and I dont want to be like this so I will think twice before I put a fan fict

 

[Evanarios]

This is so funny and I dont want to be like this so I will think twice before I put a fan fict

Lol Thanks, at least I helped one person... .. I'm actually going to continue this story because I find it humorous... But of course the only reason you would write like this is for fun, not for seriousness.

Good ay!


~Evanarios

 

[Yami Ryu]

There's only a few stories where I had trainers not get their pokemon from professors... not because it's cliche as you claim, but because of the story plot. It's NOT cliche; it's canon. And there's canon to support getting pokemon from OTHER SOURCES, like a few people can't seem to accept.

Anyways.

"I walked in with extreme happiness" makes me want to die if I read such stupid use of over description. MORE IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER, MODERATION IS KEY.

... extreme happiness is over describing?


..

I walked through the meadow, a song in my heart and escaping me through my lips as I sang happily. Joy filled me to the brim as it felt I was dancing among the small flowers as the sun shone with such gay and bright rays of light, warming me further in my state of bliss as it did the earth beneath my feet, and fed the flowers that filled the wonderous meadow. Why was I so happy? I had just recived my first pokemon, along with a decleration of love from all the boys in town!

Yeeeaaaah..... if you're going to complain about over describing, don't complain about one short sentence.. as over describing.

The last example seems to be a popshot at a parody I saw floating around...

BUT you always should end in a Cliffhanger, but don't always make it something amazing or unrealistic.

NO YOU SHOULD NOT ALWAYS END IN A CLIFFHANGER. WHY? BECAUSE IT GETS BORING AND CLICHE WHEN USED TO MANY TIMES. I mean I want to write a story, NOT A SOAP OPERA. And all the stories I've read? Sure they have cliff hangers But not every god damn chapter!

Evanarios, the next time you.. think up an example- follow your own advice. Use more than ten minutes to write it out.

 

[Evanarios]

I dunno, Extreme Happiness sounds stupid.. And Um, cliffhangers always keep me interested... Sure they're not always need, and may turn off some readers if overused. But a lot of Writers use them to keep you reading.. Honestly you could keep a cliffhanger over a few chapters like so..

"Danny clutched onto the side of the cliff with dear life"

Then go to another characters Point of View, people will be wondering the whole time "omg what happened to Danny!" And they will enjoy it..

Then like the next next chapter "Danny's energy had ran out, he let go... Plummeting at rapid speeds Danny prayed.. Seconds before Death Danny was saved.

Lol then leave them "hanging" and they will want to read more... Of course don't be so cliche and don't overuse cliches... Honestly I think it is a cliche to use the whole Pokemon from Professor Tree Head dealio. But of course you can use it if you put some originality in it.

Good ay!

~Evanarios