• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Relationships - BFs/GFs/crushes

Status
Not open for further replies.

Aquadon

TCG Trainer
Successful Troll is not only successful, but smart too.

@Ayrille: Kinda blows that you've had this bad streak of relationships (although, sorry about your loss of a previous boyfriend, that just isn't good), but it truly is your call if you want to be a part of a relationship. Sounds like you need a break from the game, which is what everyone could use from time to time. Maybe sometime later (college) you'll feel like getting back in the game. Not to be a douche though, but your last statement could qualify you to make a few guys your ***** if you play your cards right.
 
Well, I want to get better in my social skills, so I'm kinda trying to poke my head out of my turtle shell and see what things are like, y'know? I do scare easily, which does not help relationship wise - mostly fear of people abusing my trust. My last girlfriend I held for about six or seven months until she pulled some seriously bad moves which drained me of sympathy for her (I have no spine. I let people walk all over me) and turned me into a more shy person. She truly did abuse my trust and backed me into such a corner that the last time my best friend said she didn't really like something I loved, I thought she was beginning to hate me and anxiety problems and panic attacks are for a whole 'nother thread.

And I could totally take advantage of things if people think I'm hot. Too bad I am a big fat sucker and sweetheart and barely even have the guts to bring up conversation. I say sorry more than you blink a day, man.
 

junpearl63

their rooms
I just got a boyfriend last summer, but I moved to Singapore to study, we still keep contact, and I really trust him, but lately, his schoolwork kept him busy, he didn't talk to me often :( I'm affraid i might loose him....
 

Swampy

Crack the Skye
tub6.gif


According to the James-Lange theory (red arrows), the man perceives the frightening animal and reacts with physical (neurovegetative) manifestations. As a consequence of such unpleasant physical reaction, he develops fear. In the Cannon-Bard theory (blue arrows), the frightening stimulus leads, first, to the feeling of fear which, then, brings about the physical response.


basically someone sees somehting scary and it sets off a chemical reation in the brain to either fight or flee.

this could be similar to how maybe 'love' works.
Well, the brain has two main switches (the main sympathetic and para-sympathetic nervous system) which invoke either a fight or flight or a feed or breed (breed often here switched for sleep) response in the human body. Just like how we use epinephrine to trigger the sympathetic system's fight or flight it is possible a multitude of things can be used/do trigger the para-sympathetic system. Both sympathetic systems are always turned on at a basal level and are more active during certain periods, such as fight or flight in a stressful situation. While it is correct that, at it's base level, "love" is just a chemical reaction, that doesn't mean it's something you can ignore. Depression, et al, may fog it, but it doesn't cancel nor shut off the para-sympathetic system.

tl;dr: gais ur bein fags stop maekn me explane dis shit
 

Rave

Banned
Well, the brain has two main switches (the main sympathetic and para-sympathetic nervous system) which invoke either a fight or flight or a feed or breed (breed often here switched for sleep) response in the human body. Just like how we use epinephrine to trigger the sympathetic system's fight or flight it is possible a multitude of things can be used/do trigger the para-sympathetic system. Both sympathetic systems are always turned on at a basal level and are more active during certain periods, such as fight or flight in a stressful situation. While it is correct that, at it's base level, "love" is just a chemical reaction, that doesn't mean it's something you can ignore. Depression, et al, may fog it, but it doesn't cancel nor shut off the para-sympathetic system.

tl;dr: gais ur bein fags stop maekn me explane dis shit

Quit copying off the text book.
 

Swampy

Crack the Skye
Quit copying off the text book.

I took anatomy for paramedicine ages ago, man. Those textbooks went straight back to the bookstore for my liquor money the last day of class.

edit: to clarify my position on this, I'll keep it short: "Yes, love is a chemical reaction, but to my opinion it's a little more to me than just that."
 

Sunsurge

.:Judgement:.
please dont take any offence to this...
Sunsurge
"So...then why do people kill themselves for some chemical reaction."

why do people kill themselves anyway? coulda be a mental disorder, could be derpression, could be anything.

"It's like saying...you can't be scared, since that's just a chemical reaction."

tub6.gif


According to the James-Lange theory (red arrows), the man perceives the frightening animal and reacts with physical (neurovegetative) manifestations. As a consequence of such unpleasant physical reaction, he develops fear. In the Cannon-Bard theory (blue arrows), the frightening stimulus leads, first, to the feeling of fear which, then, brings about the physical response.

basically someone sees somehting scary and it sets off a chemical reation in the brain to either fight or flee.

this could be similar to how maybe 'love' works.

It could be anything. I agree. But it has been proven that people can die from a 'broken heart'. That firing of neurons/whatever is strong enough to result in powerful emotions from human beings. It IS a fact that if you've been married (or in love) to someone for most of your life and you're both like...70...and one dies, your most likely to die within 3 years. I mean...you can't say love isn't real in that case. If a chemcial reaction can lead to someone's depression or just giving up on life itself because the person they 'felt for' died. I mean...if love didn't exist...or wasn't quanitfiable...then nobody would feel sad or cry for the deaths of people that pass. You woudn't feel sorry when somebody you love betrays you. My main response...is...Your point? Not to be rude.

To...'fight or flee' is a chemical reaction but it doesn't stop the emotion of fear from being any less potent. It doesnt' stop a child from having nightmares years later of one frightening incident that happened to their lives. So if love is just a 'love or don't' chemical reaction...it still has the power to make people do crazy things. Meh. It just honestly depends on how you view things...or if you've ever felt something for someone strongly enough. I don't know you...but from my friends...the people who don't believe in love, are the ones who have never felt anything...the people who are most alone. On the flip side I do know perfectly happy people who don't believe in it.
 

Swampy

Crack the Skye
That firing of neurons/whatever is strong enough to result in powerful emotions from human beings. It IS a fact that if you've been married (or in love) to someone for most of your life and you're both like...70...and one dies, your most likely to die within 3 years.
Spoilers: those are some slow neurons if they take 3 years to act.
 

Sunsurge

.:Judgement:.
Spoilers: those are some slow neurons if they take 3 years to act.

*rolls eyes* The neurons comment was referring to the strong emotions you feel at instantaneous moments while with someone. And it was more me being sarcastic than really being scientific and using correct words and such. Secondly, neither part of the first sentence had anything to do with the second sentence.
 

Swampy

Crack the Skye
*rolls eyes* The neurons comment was referring to the strong emotions you feel at instantaneous moments while with someone.
Really?
And it was more me being sarcastic than really being scientific and using correct words and such.
That makes two of us.
Secondly, neither part of the first sentence had anything to do with the second sentence.

Well I hate to crush your dreams of us living until we're 112, but that doesn't happen. By 70 your blood is dust and your skin is more jello-y than you could have possibly imagined. Chances of you living 3 more years could be slim in itself do to age. But, for kicks, let's go with the "broken heart" syndrome. Lover dies, which triggers an emotional response which brings on the para-sympathetic system (feed, breed, or in this case, sleep). Sleep kicks in with the depression and your morale goes down. Yes, this could cause your "will to live" to dwindle and in some cases, give up. However, it's mainly just you finally not fighting to hold onto life. Ever fight a cold? It's kinda like that for an elderly person, only every day..all day. I'm sure depression hurts, but not as much as that cold that turned into pneumonia does!
 

Zalman

Master of Puppets
I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been popular since I'm very quiet and I lack confidence. I got crushes on several girls, but none of them seem interested in me.

I sure hope I'll find someone someday. :/
 

Aquadon

TCG Trainer
I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been popular since I'm very quiet and I lack confidence. I got crushes on several girls, but none of them seem interested in me.

I sure hope I'll find someone someday. :/

To be blunt, I was EXACTLY like you when I was 16 (or from what it sounds like). Keep that chin up man, and don't let anything discourage you.
 

PsychedelicJellyfish

formerly R. New
I'm happier than ever with this aspect of my life just now. The girl who I currently have a thing for loves me to bits as a friend, and we get on beautifully. My friend (her brother), as well as other friends, really think that I have a chance (in her brother's words, 'it looks good') and has given me his 'blessing', saying that he'd rather me than anyone else.

So yeah.
 

Krake

Flabebe's Kids
I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been popular since I'm very quiet and I lack confidence. I got crushes on several girls, but none of them seem interested in me.

I sure hope I'll find someone someday. :/

I was sort of the same. Just remember that one girl doesn't represent all the girls.

I'm happier than ever with this aspect of my life just now. The girl who I currently have a thing for loves me to bits as a friend, and we get on beautifully. My friend (her brother), as well as other friends, really think that I have a chance (in her brother's words, 'it looks good') and has given me his 'blessing', saying that he'd rather me than anyone else.

So yeah.

That's sort of what the situation is like with the girl I like: We hit it off pretty well and she seems to have some interest in what I say.

I don't want to be too optimistic, but I have to say that it's looking good at the moment.

However, I've kinda ran into a snag: I can't really talk to her during school anymore because my friends who had their 2nd hour class in the building near the hallway where her locker is (My school is composed of buildings connected together by halls and nodes, which are where most of the lockers are) now have it in a different building, and my best friend, who had that same building for 4th hour, has a different lunch hour (my lunch hour is the 3rd hour in the school day). This means that I can't talk to her conveniently during the school day.

But to be fair, I only talked to her twice outside of anything Speech related, and only for around a minute at most.
 

Zazie

So 1991
Well I hate to crush your dreams of us living until we're 112, but that doesn't happen. By 70 your blood is dust and your skin is more jello-y than you could have possibly imagined. Chances of you living 3 more years could be slim in itself do to age.

People make it past age 73 all the time. 70 isn't that old.
 

PsychedelicJellyfish

formerly R. New
That's sort of what the situation is like with the girl I like: We hit it off pretty well and she seems to have some interest in what I say.

I don't want to be too optimistic, but I have to say that it's looking good at the moment.

However, I've kinda ran into a snag: I can't really talk to her during school anymore because my friends who had their 2nd hour class in the building near the hallway where her locker is (My school is composed of buildings connected together by halls and nodes, which are where most of the lockers are) now have it in a different building, and my best friend, who had that same building for 4th hour, has a different lunch hour (my lunch hour is the 3rd hour in the school day). This means that I can't talk to her conveniently during the school day.

But to be fair, I only talked to her twice outside of anything Speech related, and only for around a minute at most.

At least you go to the same school. I don't have that luxury :p

I don't have the problem of not having talked to her much though, especially considering that we were both at a party for New Year and spent a large chunk of the evening sitting on the kitchen floor talking. And the great thing is that I can talk to her, something which I've found very difficult with previous crushes. With them, I could sort of hold a conversation if they talked to me first. With her, I can talk to her first. I am, as we don't actually say very often in Britain, rather chuffed.
 
Last edited:

raz1337

Miju Miju!
I'm 23, and I've been texting this 17 year old girl that lives 2 states away since the spring. We started talking on the phone for a few hours at a time each day several weeks ago. We send each other pictures daily from our phones. We became crazy for each other and I asked her to be my girlfriend a week and a half ago. I'm planning to see her for a weekend in February then March. We're counting down the days and have become best friends completely. We now text and call each other throughout the day, everyday.

The thing is, the last week, I've been on the phone with her talking to her, and all of a sudden, those 3 dreaded words every girl wants to hear popped into my head a few times, wanting to come out, and I forced myself not to say it. I went out drinking with my brother last night, came home early and was on the phone with her with 4-5 drinks in me talking to her very intimately about our relationship. Within 5 minutes, those 3 words popped into my head about 5 times, and I told her about it, but didn't say it directly to her.

She had said she wanted to say it, but understood that I had told her I didn't want to move into that stage with us not having met yet. She saw my frustration with making myself not say it on the phone and reassured me that it was ok to feel that way toward someone you've never met, and then a few minutes later, I made myself come out and say it and she said it too. My better judgment wanted to go against it, but those 3 words have been invading my mind daily recently, and I've been pushing it away. Do others go through this or did we move into something prematurely?
 

Grei

not the color
I'm 23, and I've been texting this 17 year old girl that lives 2 states away since the spring. We started talking on the phone for a few hours at a time each day several weeks ago. We send each other pictures daily from our phones. We became crazy for each other and I asked her to be my girlfriend a week and a half ago. I'm planning to see her for a weekend in February then March. We're counting down the days and have become best friends completely. We now text and call each other throughout the day, everyday.

The thing is, the last week, I've been on the phone with her talking to her, and all of a sudden, those 3 dreaded words every girl wants to hear popped into my head a few times, wanting to come out, and I forced myself not to say it. I went out drinking with my brother last night, came home early and was on the phone with her with 4-5 drinks in me talking to her very intimately about our relationship. Within 5 minutes, those 3 words popped into my head about 5 times, and I told her about it, but didn't say it directly to her.

She had said she wanted to say it, but understood that I had told her I didn't want to move into that stage with us not having met yet. She saw my frustration with making myself not say it on the phone and reassured me that it was ok to feel that way toward someone you've never met, and then a few minutes later, I made myself come out and say it and she said it too. My better judgment wanted to go against it, but those 3 words have been invading my mind daily recently, and I've been pushing it away. Do others go through this or did we move into something prematurely?

Well, I can't say that most relationships are long-distance, so I don't know how many others go through this. However, I think it makes sense that you've said this, since you've been texting her so much. I can understand your frustration with not wanting to say those three words (I'm assuming they're "I love you" and not some other phrase) before meeting her in person, but you can develop very strong connections with people without ever meeting them.

God is a big example of this--religious people will love God deeply despite the fact that they've never really "met" Him. It's the same sort of situation, if you think about it--you two have communicated and formed a close bond even though you've never physically met.

If you feel that you're taking it too fast, you probably are, however. There is no "right" or "wrong" speed to take a relationship, whatever is most comfortable for both of you. So, even though you've already said those three words, you don't have to worry--just explain that you didn't want to say them until you two had actually met. It doesn't mean the words have any less meaning because you said them over the phone without meeting her in person... it likely doesn't feel right just because it "isn't the right time". I told my girlfriend I loved her because I really meant the words, despite the fact that we'd been dating for only three days. I knew they were true, and the time was right, so I told her I loved her (in a text, mind you).

So if it "isn't the right time", just explain that and refrain from saying those three words until you feel the time is right.
 
Last edited:

Chimcharrulez97

Well-Known Member
I've had a crush on this boy for about a year now and I still have no idea how to approach him. Any help?
 

Calvan

EXPLOSION!!!
I've had a crush on this boy for about a year now and I still have no idea how to approach him. Any help?

Just speak to him. After that it shouldn't be awkward anymore.

----------------

I was recently dumped by somebody who i admittedly rushed into thing with.
Some good came out of it though. In my misery I started talking to a friend of mine up north. Now she's coming down to see me soon! I'm so excited.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top