Relationships - BFs/GFs/crushes

[Sapphiredragon929]

Hm. Pot.

Well, let's see now. It...is not even a remotely positive thing, tbh. it doesn't do anything but make you lazy and hungry. My boyfriend does it on occasion and I can't stand it. I mean...he even makes me go away/avoid him so I don't see him high or w/e. In some ways, I view that he's choosing pot over me.

It's perfectly understandable to not want to date someone that does pot from either perspective. Illegal Substance or Moral. Morally, I don't think Pot is all right. It kills brain cells and...there's just so much more you can do besides getting stoned. All drugs are bad anyways, there's no way to can spin pot into a positive perspective. If you can, I'd love to see you do that.

It's really all about personal preference. I don't want to date some guy that smokes weed because it could eventually elevate into something worse. You can't deny that. And I wouldn't want to just risk it by saying "Oh, it's just weed. He doesn't do it all the time so he'll eventually quit right?" Nah, I'm not gonna take my chances on that one lmao. I'll find a guy that doesn't smoke so I don't have to constantly worry myself over "what if" this or "what if" that.




snooze sbhj

Oh my god. Considering it's coming from a person that's actually in this situation right now, I think and say that a lot. To myself, to others, etc. etc. I constantly worry about it and I'm going to get him to quit eventually but seriously this is exactly what a person things and feels. And she's perfectly justified for not wanting to date someone that does pot if she is going to continuously worry over them and if it'll get worse and escalate further.

Pot has been proven to be a gateway drug, and while it'd be wildly inaccurate to say that all people do put end up doing meth, etc. a majority of them will. IAnd I don't want to be wrapped up in some drug mafia crime story that you see in GTA just because my boyfriend couldn't put down an effing bong.

Yeti and Mars Girl win in that respect at least.

 

[Yeti]

First off, you ARE bothering with someone who doesn't go to college.

At first I wondered if you meant she was bothering someone who didn't go to college (you) by her posts, as in offending them, then I read the sob story further and now I just wonder where the HEX do you come off telling her who she will or will not bother dating??
Seriously what the heck, Mars Girl will NEVER do something if she says she isn't, so back it off dawg.

sho nuff we ain't gonna mess with someone who didn't go through college.

If you go through college and can't get a job, you're either: not trying hard enough or you were dumb enough to pick a field chronically short on positions.
If you didn't learn anything in college.. did you actually GO to classes and take the right ones? I'd think you'd learn a good chunk of stuff about your major but maybe your college was either terrible or you just didn't pay attention.

And my mom never went to college but she earned bank.. then again she got that job almost 40 years ago now and stayed with it, because the TECHNOLOGY was advancing so rapidly she could afford to learn on the job if she could keep up.
Guess what though, that doesn't generally fly anymore.

There is NO excuse to not get through college except laziness. You could earn your way through it, take out loans, get government aid, get scholarships, and a whole host of other options to pay for it. You can NOT use money as a reason why you couldn't go to college unless you are too gd lazy to do the work required to get the money, or at least get help. Seriously, don't make up excuses.

Dang, so many people here are running their mouths saying really rude crap to Mars Girl without having a CLUE what they are on about. You guys need to BACK IT OFF and stop acting like you know her, you know what will happen to her and knowing what's what. You don't.
Seriously, stop being so antagonistic towards her, acting like just because her opinion is different and her standards are higher than yours.

 

[KibaLG8]

So I just returned from my 5-day vacation and tomorrow is church day yet again. I'm confident my crush will be there. So assuming she's there, what should I do? We both help out at the church, so we would be pretty close to each other. I strayed away from that book, so I want your guys' ideas on this. I know you will say ASK HER OUT. But I need to study her body language, so what do I need to look out for? Well I went over our interactions so far, in order to come to a conclusion:

1. She kept staring(this happened quite alot actually, and I don't want to use this as confirmed evidence)
   
2. We sat next to each other and our shoulders & arms touched repeatedly, and she didn't move away when that happened.
   
3. We had to sit in a "closet" with 2 chairs next to each other because someone took our seats. She gave away her seat to my friend that helps out too, he scooted his chair forward and she sat on a box, and was facing me.
   
4. During a discussion about school, her eyes widened & got a smile when she found out I finished college.
   
5. During that same discussion, she did not ask anyone else about what GPA they had, she only asked me.
   
6. After that conversation, I got up from my chair and she sat in the chair, saying she is stealing it from me.
   
7. And what has happened most recently, & probably the best one out of all of them.... while I was walking past her, we had a 3-5 second eye contact, where we both smiled at the end.

I know getting to know her a little first & then ask her out would be the best option, she wouldn't have been asked by a stranger, so it wouldn't be as awkward. Now befriending her is the hardest part. I really have no clue what to do. I don't have to talk about, which is what I fear the most.

 

[Ghostie]

This is a public forum, and I am allowed to express my opinion however I wish to do so (within the guidelines). And if your IQ is so much higher than mine, then why is it that I can remain civil, while you clearly cannot?
I am not a "bro"; I am a woman, thank you for asking.
I didn't say I didn't learn anything; I said it was useless information. I graduated with a 3.9 G.P.A. That alone speaks for itself.

You also resort to using mild swear words, and this shows that your vocabulary is lacking.

I don't know why you have to be so hostile; the world has enough of that already.

And I didn't realize you meant you wouldn't date someone who doesn't go to college; that was my mistake I assume. I mean that you are arguing with someone who didn't go to college.

 

[Yeti]

This is a public forum, and I am allowed to express my opinion however I wish to do so (within the guidelines). And if your IQ is so much higher than mine, then why is it that I can remain civil, while you clearly cannot?

We are being civil dawg, you and others are being snap snap snappy sho nuff thinking you can put some independantly-thinking, motivated women in their place for not being willing to settle.
You can express your opinion sho nuff, but half the people itt are starting to sound like broken records whining on about mundane opinions and 'facts' that simply aren't true.

I am not a "bro"; I am a woman, thank you for asking.

Gender neutral term, unless someone here has a problem with using one term for both genders because women shouldn't be on the same terms as men or some other backwards, anti-women-can-have-standards-too-deucers mindset.

I didn't say I didn't learn anything; I said it was useless information. I graduated with a 3.9 G.P.A. That alone speaks for itself.

Your problem for not taking interesting/useful classes. Sure you need a certain amount of credits to graduate, regardless of your major, but you should be able to find interesting, useful or relevant classes unless your college: a. sucks b. has no variety c. you're too lazy to look.
3.9 from what sort of school homeslice, if that's community college I'm unimpressed.

You also resort to using mild swear words, and this shows that your vocabulary is lacking.

Ours is pretty diverse sho nuff, but thanks for attempting to shift the topic away from the ever-failing arguments presented by people who think they can tell us our opinions and standards are wrong.

I don't know why you have to be so hostile; the world has enough of that already.

Who is being hostile dawg? We just don't take haters thinking WE are in the wrong for believing what we do and expecting certain levels of quality.
This is quite peaceful compared to the throttlings we could be dishing out, we're playing it chill, no reason to smash people rudely.
But when people come up in here acting like we don't know anything and we're totally wrong because some minority statistic about unlikely odds or untrue circumstances today or some vain effort to say YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHIN ABOUT DRUGS OMFG may support their claim, we don't take that attitude.

And I didn't realize you meant you wouldn't date someone who doesn't go to college; that was my mistake I assume. I mean that you are arguing with someone who didn't go to college.

But you just said you graduated college, so are you talking about yourself with this or..????

And thank you Stanley for that post validating Mars Girl's concerns. Your statements are true indeed.
Morally, we don't want to date guys who do pot. Don't go bashing our morals/arguments because you don't think there's anything wrong with it - plenty of people agree with us so chill out homies.

sho nuff we gon fry some chicken

 

[Charmander#4]

Ghostie, you are probably new to the Internet. Yeti is what most people would call a "troll". He/she/it feeds on your negative responses and tries to annoy you on purpose. This is, of course, childish, which is also exactly why you should not fall for it. Just ignore it.

 

[Yeti]

Ghostie, you are probably new to the Internet. Yeti is what most people would call a "troll". He/she/it feeds on your negative responses and tries to annoy you on purpose. This is, of course, childish, which is also exactly why you should not fall for it. Just ignore it.

Thank you for your utterly inaccurate statement, I am glad to see that people on SPPf still manage to stick their noses into business they know nothing about.

Do you see anyone trolling here? And someone not lining up with your submission-Nazi ideals of posting doesn't count.
No, you see discussion, with two strong-willed women who have higher standards than some being antagonized by men who hate that women have these standards.

We are talking about relationships and defending our view points, but thank you ever so much for minimodding and attempting to contribute some entirely irrelevant statement.

I will provide a new topic, to prove I am simply here to discuss and this rager on about trolling is living in the past/on Bulbagarden:
How would you feel about entering into a serious relationship (marriage/living together) with someone you shared no color/pattern/design tastes with?
For instance, while you love Victorian-style decor, they love futuristic, geometric, harsh designs.

 

[Unpredictable-Strategist]

KibaLG8-She's at least mildly interested, judging by her behavior around you. It wouldn't be bad to ask her out, but you can always just ask her to go to the movies with you or something. It will be fun for both of you, and you get to know her better that way.

Anyway, switching gears. Yeti and Mars Girl, if you're going to tell someone they're condescending, stupid and immature, don't do it so hypocritically. Responding to almost everything they say with an "LOL" or "too boring, cool story bro" is NOT mature or dignified in the least. Saying things like "sho nuff" and "HEX" doesn't exactly display your intelligence either. At least take time to listen to what others have to say before you go off insulting them. Also, IQ is a measure of how much potential you have, not how smart you are.

What really bugged me though, was your views on people who either don't go to college or don't have jobs. No matter how trashy, stupid, or demotivated they may seem, you don't know their story. You have absolutely no right to judge someone you haven't gotten to know, let alone met. No one deserves to be immediately condemned by a person just because they didn't go to college or get a job.

Please don't focus on the specifics of my argument and try to pick them apart (not saying you will). The point is, anything can and will happen, and you don't know how any person got to where they were. Not all drug dealers are scum (they could believe it's their only lifeline for money), and not everyone who goes to college is perfect boyfriend material.

 

[Ghostie]

KibaLG8-She's at least mildly interested, judging by her behavior around you. It wouldn't be bad to ask her out, but you can always just ask her to go to the movies with you or something. It will be fun for both of you, and you get to know her better that way.

Anyway, switching gears. Yeti and Mars Girl, if you're going to tell someone they're condescending, stupid and immature, don't do it so hypocritically. Responding to almost everything they say with an "LOL" or "too boring, cool story bro" is NOT mature or dignified in the least. Saying things like "sho nuff" and "HEX" doesn't exactly display your intelligence either. At least take time to listen to what others have to say before you go off insulting them. Also, IQ is a measure of how much potential you have, not how smart you are.

What really bugged me though, was your views on people who either don't go to college or don't have jobs. No matter how trashy, stupid, or demotivated they may seem, you don't know their story. You have absolutely no right to judge someone you haven't gotten to know, let alone met. No one deserves to be immediately condemned by a person just because they didn't go to college or get a job.

Please don't focus on the specifics of my argument and try to pick them apart (not saying you will). The point is, anything can and will happen, and you don't know how any person got to where they were. Not all drug dealers are scum (they could believe it's their only lifeline for money), and not everyone who goes to college is perfect boyfriend material.

Thank you, thank you so much for knowing where I'm coming from!
And I am not new to the internet. I'm perfectly aware of trolls and whatnot. I usually do ignore them, but I couldn't let such outrageous statements go. I can't stand it when people are so horrible to each other.
Basing someone's worth on whether or not they attended college is so shallow, and it's completely ridiculous.

 

[ellie]

okay let's stop arguing now. back on topic.

 

[Ghostie]

Yes, PLEASE!
My wonderful, amazing husband will be home in about 30 minutes! WHOOO!

 

[Mars Girl]

Yawn. 8|

Anyways...

How would you feel about entering into a serious relationship (marriage/living together) with someone you shared no color/pattern/design tastes with?

Honestly, this I could sort of compromise with. I'm not really one to be too uptight about something as simple as home interior or whatever. I'm sure we could come to some sort of middle ground if we didn't share similar tastes regarding something like color lol.

 

[GaZsTiC]

How would you feel about entering into a serious relationship (marriage/living together) with someone you shared no color/pattern/design tastes with?
For instance, while you love Victorian-style decor, they love futuristic, geometric, harsh designs.

Love does not depend on the little things such as tastes, in fact, it is the differences between two people that truly makes relationships interesting: finding out all of their little oddities and quirks is all the part of becoming more interested and eventually falling in love with the other.

Opposites attract, you know. IMO.

 

[Manchee]

How would you feel about entering into a serious relationship (marriage/living together) with someone you shared no color/pattern/design tastes with?

I wouldn't care, really. I think it would be fun having different tastes, because then you can either agree on something eventually, or the person that didn't get their way could possibly begin to like it, which imo builds up the relationship.

On a side note though, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time today :D It was my first kiss, too. I feel like announcing that, lol.

 

[GaZsTiC]

On a side note though, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time today :D It was my first kiss, too. I feel like announcing that, lol.

Aww that's kinda sweet...

I hope for your sake that you didn't embarrass yourself.

 

[Yeti]

rofl

that's cool Buraddo_Aipom, hope it wasn't terribly awkward or anything. that can happen sometimes with inexperienced people.
I put in a card for Apples to Apples, the green apple was 'nasty', my team submitted 'my first kiss', we won. you don't know who put the card in of course but we thought it was funny.
hopefully your event doesn't follow the above ;328;

 

[ellie]

Love does not depend on the little things such as tastes, in fact, it is the differences between two people that truly makes relationships interesting: finding out all of their little oddities and quirks is all the part of becoming more interested and eventually falling in love with the other.

Opposites attract, you know. IMO.

actually it's the similarities between two people that make a relationship successful and lasting. we had a whole chapter about love in my psych class and my prof said that in almost all relationships the more similar you are the better off your relationship will be. and thats proved true for me at least.

 

[KibaLG8]

KibaLG8-She's at least mildly interested, judging by her behavior around you. It wouldn't be bad to ask her out, but you can always just ask her to go to the movies with you or something. It will be fun for both of you, and you get to know her better that way.

Thanks for the feedback. Bowling is my intention right now actually.

actually it's the similarities between two people that make a relationship successful and lasting. we had a whole chapter about love in my psych class and my prof said that in almost all relationships the more similar you are the better off your relationship will be. and thats proved true for me at least.

Wouldn't differences be good too? Let's say the 2 of you were having a discussion and if the 2 of you had the same views.... how boring that discussion would be, right?lol Well having similarities is good, I need to check to see if I have that with my crush.

Is anyone else going to give some feedback? I don't mind if you guys don't but the more the better.

 

[Manchee]

Aww that's kinda sweet...

I hope for your sake that you didn't embarrass yourself.

Thanks. And no, I didn't. I was kissing her goodbye (she thought I would kiss her at midnight, but I wanted her to no expect it at all), and after she left she texted me and said that she loved it, so. ;P

that's cool Buraddo_Aipom, hope it wasn't terribly awkward or anything. that can happen sometimes with inexperienced people.
I put in a card for Apples to Apples, the green apple was 'nasty', my team submitted 'my first kiss', we won. you don't know who put the card in of course but we thought it was funny.
hopefully your event doesn't follow the above ;328;

Nope, it was perfect imo. Which sounds corny, but it was for me because it's actually how I wanted it to go. It would have been awkward if I kissed her at midnight since all our friends were around, but when I ended up kissing here there were only three people in the other room not really paying attention to us~

And lol Apples to Apples. My friends and I played that actually. I won ;D

 

[Ethan]

Okay so, last night I conducted a drunken hookup with a very attractive person, imo. Catch is, we were barged in on by several people and almost kicked out. It was pretty embarrassing, but now I feel really self conscious about whether any of it was real or not. I would really like to see this person again, but I don't have a way of knowing whether he'll want to see me. I added him on facebook and sent a message, basically apologizing for what happened last night and said if he ever wanted to pursue anything more than a hookup, to let me know..

I hope things turn out in my favor.