Relationships - BFs/GFs/crushes

[pirate555]

I need some advice. So me and my girlfriend have been dating almost a year and its been good, but about a week ago she suddenly started not wanting to be kissed, and she started not liking it when we walk and i have my arm around her.

Whats happening?

The above posters could be right, it could be something about the long-term situation which means that you might just need to introduce a bit of a spark to wake your relationship up.

It could potentially be something else, though, if this has happened suddenly. Can you think of anything in particular that might have caused her to change her attitude? Even if you don't know of anything specific that's happened with you or recently, you'd do well to talk to her about it, to ask what's wrong. If it's some rumour she's heard, or something new she's not happy with, you can't be expected to help if you don't know what's bothering her. Just pick a good time to ask =)

~Pirate

 

[JoshYEAH]

You're right but, you know that can mean the end of the world for some people that really like someone, right.

I remember when I used to be like this.

 

[Rave]

I remember when I used to be like this.

I still remember the many times where I stressed horribly for days when I was once like that.

 

[natie]

she stared at me a few times

That's always a good sign.

 

[Immortalis]

I remember when I used to be like this.

What can I say? "been there done that" seems most appropriate here

 

[JoshYEAH]

That would be what I was trying to imply, yes.

That's always a good sign.

Probably a rapist, girls staring is always a precursor for such shenanigans.

 

[Unpredictable-Strategist]

I need some advice. So me and my girlfriend have been dating almost a year and its been good, but about a week ago she suddenly started not wanting to be kissed, and she started not liking it when we walk and i have my arm around her.

Whats happening?

Only she can tell you that for sure. Just ask her what's wrong.

 

[Zazie]

Fairly straightforward.

Stop trying to scientifically quantify the way you or another person feels. It's a fools errand. You say you can't go up and directly tell her how you feel - Is this then someone you actually think is worth making a relationship with? When they can't even listen to someone else say how they feel? That doesn't make sense.

Honestly though just take the plunge, worst that can happens is she says No and you just let it be. It might make the friendship a bit weird but if you two are as close as you claim to be it shouldn't be too much of a thing.

I've made my interest clear within a week of knowing her, we almost dated. The main problem is that she has some problems with relationships (still into an ex thats pretty far away mostly) Going up and seriously confessing my feelings may not make things too awkward, but it doesn't solve the problem. To be quite honest, this kind of problem is mostly out of my hands. The best I can do is try and prove I am a desirable person to be around. (which is really what I may need some advice on)

Maybe I should have worded it as "Help, I am an idot who is into a friend that clearly has issues with relationships. What can I do not to make a complete fool of myself?" but that may err a little too much on the negative side.

don't dwell on it, and just move on. focusing on one girl for the rest of your life closes off all other opportunities for a relationship that might actually, um, work.

Not that simple. Not all people are equally desirable in a relationship. I am not talking just about looks here either but also common interests, and the ability to get along with others. Some people just aren't worth your time, and I'd rather not settle for less just so I don't up alone. (I've settled before, just because I was already in a relationship, and it was rpretty sucky and didn't turn out well)

Now if I happen to meet someone decent than I'm not going to pass up on the opportunity, but that isn't the case at the moment. Besides that I am really into her and we get along very well, so I am willing to be patient and put some effort into making things work out.

 

[Juputoru]

I need some advice. So me and my girlfriend have been dating almost a year and its been good, but about a week ago she suddenly started not wanting to be kissed, and she started not liking it when we walk and i have my arm around her.

Whats happening?

You know all the happy fun chemicals that float around your brain when you're in a new relationship? Those wear off after about a year. That's not to say that's what's going on here(since you give us no other info about your relationship), but it's something to keep in mind for the long term!

Other possibilities include:
-You did something to piss her off, and she's fuming about it instead of telling you.
-You forgot her birthday/your relationship anniversary! Oh no!
-She thinks you're cheating on her.
-She's cheating on you.
-Aliens replaced her with a body double.
-You're letting your relationship get stuck in a rut, doing the same things all the time. She's getting bored of this. Spice things up a little!
- She...you know what? Just ask her what's wrong, and hope she doesn't pull the "he should have to GUESS what's wrong because IF HE LOVED ME he'd KNOW!" gambit. Which is dumb because you don't have mind-reading powers, but there are girls out there who think this way. Hopefully your GF isn't one of them.

 

[AzukanAsimbu]

thanks all of you for your helpfulness

 

[KibaLG8]

That's always a good sign.

Mmmhm... I thought so too.... but.

Probably a rapist, girls staring is always a precursor for such shenanigans.

It's odd. My neighbor(female) stared at me too but when I invited her to hangout she said she had a bf. And she continues her stares at church.

 

[Zazie]

Other possibilities include:
-You did something to piss her off, and she's fuming about it instead of telling you.
-You forgot her birthday/your relationship anniversary! Oh no!
-She thinks you're cheating on her.
-She's cheating on you.
-Aliens replaced her with a body double.
-You're letting your relationship get stuck in a rut, doing the same things all the time. She's getting bored of this. Spice things up a little!
- She...you know what? Just ask her what's wrong, and hope she doesn't pull the "he should have to GUESS what's wrong because IF HE LOVED ME he'd KNOW!" gambit. Which is dumb because you don't have mind-reading powers, but there are girls out there who think this way. Hopefully your GF isn't one of them.

I would add in:
-She's finding the relationship too taxing for whatever reasons: such as not having enough time to herself, finding you too needy, you not giving her enough support etc.

I kind of stopped with some physical stuff with an ex-girlfriend because dating her became emotionally exhausting with her self-centered attitude and constant neediness. (and because such things left me needing to take a cold shower.) I would sometimes quote a dirty pokemon fan-fic to keep her off me. (that was kind of funny)

 

[MKFC]

Well, quite a lot of my friends have been saying recently that the hottest girl in my year fancies me. I really want to go for her, but I don't know if I can risk it - I mean, she's the absolute hottest girl in my year, and pretty much all the lads go for her and stuff. I'm not really at their social status, and if she rejects me I'll look like biggest retard that ever lived. At the same time though, if she says yes...

Thing is, I don't really know if I should risk it...should I?

 

[Aquadon]

I haven't heard the term "fancies" used ever.... that being said though, I would say why not? Social Standing means squat; if she likes you, go for it.

 

[Zazie]

I haven't heard the term "fancies" used ever.... that being said though, I would say why not? Social Standing means squat; if she likes you, go for it.

That's because you're not British, old chap.

 

[KibaLG8]

Ok my friend told me that my crush has come back and there's a good chance she will be at church this saturday. Now, its been over a month since i last saw her... hopefully she hasn't forgotten all thats happened. You think I should be right up front with her when I see her saturday? Or should I just take it slow?

 

[DarthUr]

my girlfriend never played videogames.
then she watched me playing pokemon
then she started
now her life has been ruined by an addiction to adorable cartoon battle animals
this is ok by me

 

[Darato]

Ok my friend told me that my crush has come back and there's a good chance she will be at church this saturday. Now, its been over a month since i last saw her... hopefully she hasn't forgotten all thats happened. You think I should be right up front with her when I see her saturday? Or should I just take it slow?

Take things a bit slow, but still say hi to her. You don't want to try and come on to strong, but at least try and get a conversation going.

my girlfriend never played videogames.
then she watched me playing pokemon
then she started
now her life has been ruined by an addiction to adorable cartoon battle animals
this is ok by me

What do you mean by ruined? Does she just sit there hour after hour playing it or something?

L.F.D.

 

[Aquadon]

That's because you're not British, old chap.

I'm from an island; is that a start?

Ok my friend told me that my crush has come back and there's a good chance she will be at church this saturday. Now, its been over a month since i last saw her... hopefully she hasn't forgotten all thats happened. You think I should be right up front with her when I see her saturday? Or should I just take it slow?

Take it slow if you haven't seen her for a while. Maybe do the polite wave or something, or say "hi". Don't rush in there though; that might be a little awkward.

 

[KibaLG8]

Take it slow if you haven't seen her for a while. Maybe do the polite wave or something, or say "hi". Don't rush in there though; that might be a little awkward.

Ok, seems easier to just say hi. But I at least plan on befriending her at the most, just to be sure that we at least know each other. Then next week can be more interacting.... maybe asking her if she has a facebook. Then the third week will result in asking her out. I would think that 3 weeks would be too long but since I see her only once a week, its not that bad.