SBaby
Dungeon Master
Note: This was an April Fools prank gone way overboard. I just thought I'd show it to you all. I have nothing against Pokemon Ranger. This is also not meant to be offensive, just funny. So please don't kill me or anything.
Friends, countrymen, uncountrymen, spammers-in-the-back, lend me your ears! For among us is a menace, a monster that threatens everything we hold sacred in this poke-fandom, something that will destroy us all if we continue to ignore it!
And its name is Rhetrainer!
Rhetrainer! This is what I have chosen to name the new horror. Ever since we first became aware of the scan revealing the new Pokemon Ranger Movie, his terror has stalked, quietly undermining our conciousness with fear.
"But SBaby," you may ask, "what is Rhetrainer?" Rhetrainer is a beast, perhaps the most horrible perversion of coolness ever to slink out of the Swamps of Fictional Evil. When we first beheld the new cover scans for the movie, it became apparent that something was horribly, dreadfully wrong in Poke-Land.
Our Pokemon Trainer, the symbol of what is best in the pokemon franchise, has been redesigned! The Trainer, who we all adored in the handheld universe, who has fought bravely time and time again against the diabolical Team Rocket, who has been to three regions and even the battle frontier! The Trainer, who has appeared in almost every Pokemon game ever released, including all nine Pokemon RPGs and four console games! The Trainer, who is clearly a fan favorite, has been redesigned!!!
His Poke-Dex has been replaced with a glowing blue orb of doom! His red and white Poke-Ball has been transmogrified into a deranged red and yellow magical cellular phone! His distinctive spiked hair has been horribly disfigured, as though some sort of evil witch cast a spell on his head, turning his hair into some sort of mutated helmet! Perhaps worst of all, his hat, the defining feature of our hero, has been removed, exposing devilish horns reminiscient of none other than El-Diablo! Easy to draw, yes, but unbelievably ridiculous to look at!
Shudder my friends; such evil is uncommon in this day and age. The orb and cell phone are tolerable, but the rest shall from here on out be known to the fandom far and wide as, "The Catastrophe of the Head". It has become a head of evil, this head of the Rangers' version of the Trainer. The Rangers' Head. Of the Rangers' Trainer. The Rangers' Head Trainer.
Rhetrainer!!!
In response to this disaster, I have contacted the man in charge of Pokemon character design and demanded an explanation. I can't give you his name, but just know that he is very, very high up on the chain. Unfortunately, I was unable to interview him since his secretary wouldn't let me into his office. Something about an important project involving the death of a main character. Anyway...
While I did "acquire" a nifty made-in-Japan office supplies on my way out, I didn't learn much about what led to The Catastrophe of the Head. On second thought, that might not have been the guy after all. Eh, free stapler, and I'm not flying back to Japan for a do-over.
But take heart, my dearest of comrades; a light shines through the darkness! I have taken it upon myself to lead you all through these times of trial. As we speak, I am forming an organization to fight. What is our goal? To have Rhetrainer utterly rejected from the illustrious Trainer/Ranger family and have him stripped of his unjustly given name (Ranger). Instead, we shall refer to him only as Rhetrainer. To reach these goals, I am bring together the greatest coalition ever seen among an anime fandom:
Society
(to)
Omit
Ridiculous
Rhetrainer
Yes.
S.O.R.R.Y.
Anyone who wants to join, need only follow one simple rule.
We must never refer to Rhetrainer as a member of the Trainer/Ranger family! Even more important, we must never call him "Ranger"! That dignity is gone from him now! He shall only be known as Rhetrainer! Not just in this topic or even on the (forum name omitted)! We must take strides to spread the word! (forum names omitted); all must be brought to see the light as we have! Help me to help them, my S.O.R.R.Y. brothers and sisters!
It was pretty obvious that this was a joke, but of course people took it seriously. I'll say here and now, this is a joke, nothing more.
Friends, countrymen, uncountrymen, spammers-in-the-back, lend me your ears! For among us is a menace, a monster that threatens everything we hold sacred in this poke-fandom, something that will destroy us all if we continue to ignore it!
And its name is Rhetrainer!
Rhetrainer! This is what I have chosen to name the new horror. Ever since we first became aware of the scan revealing the new Pokemon Ranger Movie, his terror has stalked, quietly undermining our conciousness with fear.
"But SBaby," you may ask, "what is Rhetrainer?" Rhetrainer is a beast, perhaps the most horrible perversion of coolness ever to slink out of the Swamps of Fictional Evil. When we first beheld the new cover scans for the movie, it became apparent that something was horribly, dreadfully wrong in Poke-Land.
Our Pokemon Trainer, the symbol of what is best in the pokemon franchise, has been redesigned! The Trainer, who we all adored in the handheld universe, who has fought bravely time and time again against the diabolical Team Rocket, who has been to three regions and even the battle frontier! The Trainer, who has appeared in almost every Pokemon game ever released, including all nine Pokemon RPGs and four console games! The Trainer, who is clearly a fan favorite, has been redesigned!!!
His Poke-Dex has been replaced with a glowing blue orb of doom! His red and white Poke-Ball has been transmogrified into a deranged red and yellow magical cellular phone! His distinctive spiked hair has been horribly disfigured, as though some sort of evil witch cast a spell on his head, turning his hair into some sort of mutated helmet! Perhaps worst of all, his hat, the defining feature of our hero, has been removed, exposing devilish horns reminiscient of none other than El-Diablo! Easy to draw, yes, but unbelievably ridiculous to look at!
Shudder my friends; such evil is uncommon in this day and age. The orb and cell phone are tolerable, but the rest shall from here on out be known to the fandom far and wide as, "The Catastrophe of the Head". It has become a head of evil, this head of the Rangers' version of the Trainer. The Rangers' Head. Of the Rangers' Trainer. The Rangers' Head Trainer.
Rhetrainer!!!
In response to this disaster, I have contacted the man in charge of Pokemon character design and demanded an explanation. I can't give you his name, but just know that he is very, very high up on the chain. Unfortunately, I was unable to interview him since his secretary wouldn't let me into his office. Something about an important project involving the death of a main character. Anyway...
While I did "acquire" a nifty made-in-Japan office supplies on my way out, I didn't learn much about what led to The Catastrophe of the Head. On second thought, that might not have been the guy after all. Eh, free stapler, and I'm not flying back to Japan for a do-over.
But take heart, my dearest of comrades; a light shines through the darkness! I have taken it upon myself to lead you all through these times of trial. As we speak, I am forming an organization to fight. What is our goal? To have Rhetrainer utterly rejected from the illustrious Trainer/Ranger family and have him stripped of his unjustly given name (Ranger). Instead, we shall refer to him only as Rhetrainer. To reach these goals, I am bring together the greatest coalition ever seen among an anime fandom:
Society
(to)
Omit
Ridiculous
Rhetrainer
Yes.
S.O.R.R.Y.
Anyone who wants to join, need only follow one simple rule.
We must never refer to Rhetrainer as a member of the Trainer/Ranger family! Even more important, we must never call him "Ranger"! That dignity is gone from him now! He shall only be known as Rhetrainer! Not just in this topic or even on the (forum name omitted)! We must take strides to spread the word! (forum names omitted); all must be brought to see the light as we have! Help me to help them, my S.O.R.R.Y. brothers and sisters!
It was pretty obvious that this was a joke, but of course people took it seriously. I'll say here and now, this is a joke, nothing more.
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