Rise of the Necro God Signups!

[Stoc15]

In the world of Pokemon, a cold, barren wasteland sits beneath the ever-watchful sky. Plants struggle to survive in the surrounding area as rain rarely falls. One glance and you would be gone, off to the next avaliable surviving area. The remaining water is gathered into a small puddle guarded by a few evergreen trees, whose roots barely make it into the puddle. On the rare occasions when it actually does rain, the trees get somewhat 'revived' and then quickly lose their water and drain up again. Seems just like a never-ending cycle, doesn't it? If you think yes, then you are sure wrong! There is a being who causes this chaos, and that is the legendary Necro God. The 'Necro God' used to be an ordinary human, but when he looked into the pool of Ares, a pool full of all the misdeeds and wrongs brought upon by mortals, because of his research of the world's most amazing wonders, and the fact that the god-like powers of the sins were nearly unstoppable, he was corrupted by the sins of the world and transformed into the Necro God, who only gives gifts of misery and torment in the Pokemon world. The wasteland once was a beautiful eco-friendly habitat; now it's extremely unlikely that you'll live on the resources it has now. But there's more then just this city; the Necro God drains millions of beautiful pieces of land everyday. For what reason? So he can destroy the human race and replace them with clones of themselves possesed by the sins. But who will stop him? That will be the legendary.... Neo Squad! How are they so legendary? Formed in the eons of space and time, these warriors are infused with the power of the elements, making them somewhat of the demigod breed, and protect the world in case it's in danger. But they need your help! They can't seem to remember their identities, so they need you to fill them in! Once done so, they can fight off the Necro God and save the world. Their world, of course...... But you have one last question? Let me hear it. You want to know the limits of their powers? The limits are the power of time-control, which is 3rd class elemental powers. So basically, the sky is the limit!


I know I'm not the best at writing, but I'm at least ok. Anyway, here are the signup sheets you need to fill out to join the Neo Squad and defeat the Necro God:

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Pokémon (at least 3; maximum 5):
Clothing Style/Physical Details:
Special Abilities:
Reason why they joined:
At least one move from each of their Pokemon:
History:

And to get you started, I'll post my character up:

Spoiler: Ren Hirokage

Name: Ren Hirokage
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Pokémon (at least 3; maximum 5): Absol, Scizor, Charizard, Abomasnow, Umbreon
Clothing Style: Black jacket that surrounds almost his whole body, with dark sneakers that can rarely get affected by the elements, a dark t-shirt with a skull that says "Unleash the Darkness in you" and beautiful wavy blonde hair to go along with it. Legs covered with jeans that are torn on the ends, pale white skin, thin and slim, 6 feet tall and with ocean-colored blue eyes.
Special Abilities: Can control fire, darkness, tame Pokemon at a fairly quickly rate and hypnosis.
Reason why they joined: Ren joined because he wanted to actually mean something. He was mistreated as a boy, and had basically no friends, except for the other loners who were mistreated and left heartless. With newly-born confidence, Ren joined the Neo Squad and
At least one move from each Pokemon: Razor Wind, Bullet Punch, Blast Burn, Blizzard and Shadow Ball
History: Ren always had a feeling he was destined to be unlikable, and boy was he right! No one really even cared about him and his ten-story high dreams So he developed amazing skills such as controlling fire and darkness (Hirokage means Fire-shadow in Japanese) and hypnosis so he could prove he wasn't just a nobody. He's also always had a knack for training Pokemon. But when the Necro God came, Ren changed his views and began to start fighting the Necro God. When the Neo Squad came to his current location, he joined almost right when they asked. So then he became a member and started fighting the Necro God.

So sign-up and have a ball, just remember, there can only be, fifteen in all! (including me)
People who made it:
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[Krug]

Name:Nathan Kronenberg
Age:16
Gender:Male
Pokémon: Porygon-Z, Feraligatr, Houndoom, Metagross
Clothing Style:Nathan has Messy Brown hair and a two Deep Dark Green Eyes. He usually wears a Red T-Shirt that says "Jim's Smokin BBQ" in Bold White letters. Next to these letters is a picture of a Cartoon Grumpig. To go with this, Nathan wears a Pair of Jeans that have a Huge Hole in them. When not doing anything important, Nathan will pick at this hole, making it even larger. His shoes are Fancy, like ones you would wear to a cocktail party, and really, don't fit with the rest of his outfit.

Special Abilities:No real Special Abilities, but is skilled with Man Made Weapons.
Reason why you want to join: Of course, the Guy who takes down the Necro-God will gain fame, Fortune, and Women. As well as be a Celebrated Hero. Of Course, Nathan wants to be all of this, simple as that.
At least one move from each Pokemon:Tri-Attack, Waterfall, Flamethrower, Meteor Mash
History:Nathan was always an Egotist, he always wanted people to like him. When Nathan was born, he was born into a rich family, while not a snob. He got on his friend's nerves with all the stories he told, and by being just plain Spaztic. Nathan started his trainer careen with a Porygon when he was 8, this then grew to the Team Nathan uses today.
Nathan Started training with Weapons at around 12. Becoming as Masterful as one of his Age could be by 16. Seeing himself as a Chick Magnet, Hero, and Epic Adventurer he Joined the Neo Squad quickly. Of course, however, Nathan is none of these things, yet, his Ego persists he is.

 

[RaZoR LeAf]

A cold, desolate wasteland sits beneath the ever-watchful sky. Plants struggle to survive in the surrounding area as rain rarely falls. One glance and you would be gone.

One glance at what and gone where?

The remaining water is gathered into a small puddle guarded by a few evergreen trees, whose roots barely make it into the puddle. On the rare occasions when it actually does rain, the trees get somewhat 'revived' and then quickly lose their water and drain up again. Seems just like a never-ending cycle, doesn't it? If you think yes, then you are sure wrong! There is a being who causes this chaos, and that is the legendary Necro God. The 'Necro God' used to be an ordinary human, but when he looked into the pool of Ares, he was corrupted by the sins of the world and transformed into the Necro God, who only gives gifts of misery and torment.

What is the pool of Ares? Why did he look into it, and why does it change those who do into gods? What is the purpose of the Necro God?

The wasteland once was a beautiful eco-friendly habitat; now it's extremely unlikely that you'll live on the resources it has now. But there's more then just this city;

Desolate means uninhabited. If it's extremely unlikely you'll live there it's still possible, which means it's not desolate.

the Necro God drains millions of beautiful pieces of land everyday.

Why?

But who will stop him? That will be the legendary.... Neo Squad!

And who are they that are so legendary? Where did they come form? How will they match the powers of a god?

But they need your help! They need new recruits in order to fight the evil menace, and when they do, the reign of the Necro God will end, and all order and peace will be brought back to the world! So grab your suitcases, your Pokémon and your opposing spirit because you are booked on a flight to freedom!

Oh there's that pokemon word again, throwing in at the last second without any mention through the rest of the plot. One might think you've added it there to make it a pokemon RPG when really it shouldn't be. I also don't see why a "legendary team" are taking on new recruits to fight a god. Surely, they would be using veteran and experienced people, not newbies who have no idea what they are getting themselves into. And what are these opposing spirits?

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Pokémon (at least 3; maximum 5):
Clothing Style:
Special Abilities:
Reason why you want to join:
At least one move from each Pokemon:
History:

Description covers more than just the clothes a person wears. What are these special abilities, there's no mention of them in the plot. I see no limits have been put in place for them, so can I have omnipotence, control over time, space and matter and be immortal?

And to get you started, I'll post my character up:

Name: Ren Hirokage
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Pokémon (at least 3; maximum 5): Absol, Scizor, Charizard, Abomasnow, Umbreon
Clothing Style: Black jacket that surrounds almost his whole body, with dark sneakers that can rarely get affected by the elements, a dark t-shirt with a skull that says "Unleash the Darkness in you" and beautiful wavy blonde hair to go along with it.[/quote

Naked legs, no skin colour, no eyes, morbidly obese and 2 foot tall. I assume. Since you've not mentioned any of these details, how am I meant to interact with you in the RPG? And where is the personality?

Special Abilities: Can control fire, darkness, tame Pokemon at a fairly quickly rate and hypnosis.
Reason why you want to join: Ren wants to join because he wants to use his skills to help save the world for one reason: because the Necro God beat him to it first! Now, Ren will do his best to try stop the Necro God, and then replace him so he can be the devil of the world.

Oh what a great reason, I bet the "legendary team" were quick to snap you up when you told them your reason for joining.

At least one move from each Pokemon: Razor Wind, Bullet Punch, Blast Burn, Blizzard and Shadow Ball
History: Ren always had a feeling he was destined to be abnormal, and boy was he right! With a hatred for peaceful life and beautiful landscapes, he has always wanted to destroy the world and remake it in his own image. So he developed amazing skills such as controlling fire and darkness (Hirokage means Fire-shadow in Japanese) and hypnosis. He's also always had a knack for training Pokemon. But when the Necro God came, Ren changed his views and began to starting fighting the Necro God. When the Neo Squad came to his location, he joined almost right when they asked. So with his amazing skills, Ren will try his best to defeat the Necro God and take his rightful place as devil of the world.

Well done on revealing everything your character plans on doing, any capable RPGer would set your character up into revealing his secrets and killing you off in your own RPG.

Your plot is full of holes and is badly structured, and your character is blatantly going to be a power player the first chance you get. Unless I see some drastic improvements, this thread will be closed. I suggest you read over the rules too.

 

[Stoc15]

One glance at what and gone where?



What is the pool of Ares? Why did he look into it, and why does it change those who do into gods? What is the purpose of the Necro God?




Desolate means uninhabited. If it's extremely unlikely you'll live there it's still possible, which means it's not desolate.



Why?



And who are they that are so legendary? Where did they come form? How will they match the powers of a god?



Oh there's that pokemon word again, throwing in at the last second without any mention through the rest of the plot. One might think you've added it there to make it a pokemon RPG when really it shouldn't be. I also don't see why a "legendary team" are taking on new recruits to fight a god. Surely, they would be using veteran and experienced people, not newbies who have no idea what they are getting themselves into. And what are these opposing spirits?



Description covers more than just the clothes a person wears. What are these special abilities, there's no mention of them in the plot. I see no limits have been put in place for them, so can I have omnipotence, control over time, space and matter and be immortal?

And to get you started, I'll post my character up:

Name: Ren Hirokage
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Pokémon (at least 3; maximum 5): Absol, Scizor, Charizard, Abomasnow, Umbreon
Clothing Style: Black jacket that surrounds almost his whole body, with dark sneakers that can rarely get affected by the elements, a dark t-shirt with a skull that says "Unleash the Darkness in you" and beautiful wavy blonde hair to go along with it.[/quote

Naked legs, no skin colour, no eyes, morbidly obese and 2 foot tall. I assume. Since you've not mentioned any of these details, how am I meant to interact with you in the RPG? And where is the personality?



Oh what a great reason, I bet the "legendary team" were quick to snap you up when you told them your reason for joining.




Well done on revealing everything your character plans on doing, any capable RPGer would set your character up into revealing his secrets and killing you off in your own RPG.

Your plot is full of holes and is badly structured, and your character is blatantly going to be a power player the first chance you get. Unless I see some drastic improvements, this thread will be closed. I suggest you read over the rules too.

Ok, thanks for the advice. I'll edit the beginning and my character info so it fits those means. Thanks!

 

[RaZoR LeAf]

I meant write the m into the plot properly not just add lines of explanation in where I've asked. Your plot reads even worse now than it did before. You might as well do it in bullet points it's practically a list.

 

[Stoc15]

I meant write the m into the plot properly not just add lines of explanation in where I've asked. Your plot reads even worse now than it did before. You might as well do it in bullet points it's practically a list.

Fine. I give up. You win. Just close it. I'm terrible at this. Goodbye, RaZoR LeAf.

 

[RaZoR LeAf]

For gods sake i'm sick of you n00bs that just can't for once try a little harder than they do but instead give up. If you'd read the RPG Rules, you would know your RPG is breaking them. As a new member you are expected to read the forum rules. If you haven't posted in a forum before, you read the rules and you read the stickies. If the first thing you are going to do is give up when questioned then don't bother posting here again.