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Rose Love Bonds (contestshipping) PG-13

What do you think of my fic?

  • Wow, you're really good!

    Votes: 16 64.0%
  • Not the best, but keep it up!

    Votes: 5 20.0%
  • It's Ok...I guess

    Votes: 1 4.0%
  • No offense, but you really need to improve...

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I don't care, this stinks worse than my Uncle's socks!

    Votes: 3 12.0%

  • Total voters
    25
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deoxysmaster8000

no-one can beat me!!
L, O, V, E, Loved It!!!

i loved it!!!! L O V E D LOVED IT!!! keep going!!! if there was a vote higher than what you have i would use it!!!!!!(wait isnt there perfect....no its not perfect but its right under it:D) put me on the pm list:D:D:D:D
 
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Sequoia

Well-Known Member
^^ i can't wait for the next chappie really...hope you can make it a bit longer this time...
 

Xiang

Well-Known Member
PM list:
Encyclopika
lara lynx
BeAuTiFuL mAy
Sequoia
shuuharu hiwatari
deoxysmaster8000

If you find that I have accidentally misspelled your name, PLEASE tell me.

Next chapter, earliest by next Monday, working on two fics (not much of an excuse, eh?) Why don't you all read my other fic? I think it's just as good. I have a link in my siggy (Beyond the Desert Sands).

-Pichu Gurl ;172;
 

Silver Dragonite

<-I think he's angry
Yeah I think I'll check that one out aswell
 
M

Miss Priss

Guest
MiniMinun said:
eh hehehe, I guess nobody wants one? ^^; sorry I haven't been reviewing over here Pichu Gurl, But i've been reviewing on Skitty Kingdom. * much less crowded * but just to sum it all up *good!* anyway, ending I wish for is ONE! FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFFY! *fluffy stories are my thing. maybe because if I was classified and categorized, I would be thine opposite of encyclopika. therefore, a prep? but anyway, ONE ONE ONE!!! ...or two. Gore and Blood and death and...ect. not my kinda thing. but since this IS only PG-13, I guess it couldn't get...too bad...!!! but otherwise, I don't really care. *whistles and ignores paranoia in review above*
I agree 100%. I love fluffy endings, especially to fics that start out so cute. I vote option 1!
Jade~;086;
 

Sequoia

Well-Known Member
hmm...i guess a fluffy ending for this fic wouldn't be bad...XDD it's just that this fic is perfect for a fluffy ending, but...not too fluffy...i take 2 XD
 

Xiang

Well-Known Member
Alrighty I have good- er bad...well it depends on who you are and what you picked. I'll be going with the ending that I feel (yes, selfish little me, but what's the point of writing a fic with an ending that you absolutely hate?). I won't tell you which one, but all of you dark-hearted people may be a little disappointed, and same with a couple others...thats all I'll say...

-Pichu Gurl ;172;
 

lara lynx

Well-Known Member
Sounds good, and I think fluffy is a good way to end. but your right, whats the point of writing a fic and having it go a way you don't want it to. i'm sure whatever you want to do will be perfect ^^
 

Rider

. . S K Y L I G H T
meh, I don't really care, because It's your fic. I'm just the audience I mean you don't see performers on stage ask you, do you want this guy to die or not? lolz anyway, u go ur own way it was fun voting though.
-MiniMinun ;312;
 
M

Miss Priss

Guest
I'm sure you'll make it great. Just try to add at least a bit of fluff though? Anyway, I'll be awaiting the next chapter!
Jade~;086;
 

Xiang

Well-Known Member
OK, next chappie may be a bit corny...I dunno that's what I think, at least.

Chapter 3- Worst Day of His Entire Life…

“Your Highness, wake up!” shouted a slow, old voice.

Drew opened his eyes and rubbed them, yawning. “Yes, Teacher Merlin?”

Merlin shook his head disapprovingly. “You fell asleep in the middle of a lecture again.”

Drew laughed to himself. Who would listen to Merlin’s “interesting” lessons? Why wouldn’t somebody fall asleep in the middle of somebody droning on about candle wax and its history? Wool sweaters were boring enough. Drew stared out the window, longing to be outside and free instead of a small, cooped-up room with an old man who was your teacher.

Merlin was the must dull of all his tutors. All he lulled about were strange and little and very unimportant topics that bored you to the death.

At least after Merlin, he was free to go until dinner again. Drew rested his head on his elbow and his eyelids drooped as Merlin remarked how long the candle-making process was and how he had watched his mother do it step-by-step in the winter.

Merlin, annoyed that Drew was dozing off again, rapped his ruler on the tiny desk, jerking the prince awake from his second-long nap. He sighed and checked the sun to tell what time it was. A reddish orb was low in the sky. “You’re free to go now.”

Drew jerked awake again and sprang out the door. He headed for the rose garden, when Karla, who was dressed in black, stopped him. “Your Highness,” she said with a low voice. “We need you in the throne room.”

Drew feared the worst as he followed the girl into the grand lobby. Everyone was dressed in black. Some were holding handkerchiefs. All the color drained from Drew as his father’s good friend, Luke, adjusted his glasses and blew his nose.

“I have…horrible news…” he started shakily. He turned to Drew. “Especially for you. Your father has been killed in war by a soldier by the name Satoshi.”

Drew broke down in tears and fell to his knees.

For one obvious thing, his father was dead, and Chris would take over as well.

On the other hand, hatred for Satoshi crept up Drew’s veins. Not only had Satoshi killed his beloved father, but also he was the one who Kasumi had willingly married.

Under his breath, he swore to seek revenge…

~ ~ ~

Drew sat on his bed, rocking himself while hugging his knees. He ignored everything except himself.

“Father,” he said to himself in a depressed way. “How could you die? I need you, Father…”

He looked at the ceiling and sighed shakily. A tear slid his cheek. Yesterday’s news replayed in his mind and tore at his broken heart. It was painful, thinking over it.

Nothing would be the same, not with his father there.

Karla, frustrated, slammed the tray with Drew’s breakfast on his bed. “Your Highness, DO YOU WANT YOUR TOAST AND OATMEAL WITH EGGS AND WITH MILK?”

Drew turned to her. “I’m not hungry, Karla leave me alone.”

Karla muttered angrily. “You’re not going to get anything done by moping on your bed!”

Drew froze and gritted his teeth. “Karla, I’m not hungry. LEAVE ME ALONE.”

Karla stuttered, ashamed. “So sorry, got carried away…”

She ran on those two little feet out of the room.

~ ~ ~

Drew had refused to eat all day, driving Karla nuts. She somehow retained her temper for once today.

“Why don’t you take a walk in the garden?” she suggested after trying to persuade him to eat for half an hour.

Drew shrugged, seeing as he couldn’t just stand there all day.
~ ~ ~

Hands in his pockets, he kicked a rock in his path as he entered the garden. Normally he would’ve enjoyed its relaxing scent, but today he definitely couldn’t.

“Hey, Drew,” said a female voice.

Only one person (who was alive) was allowed to call him that name. It was-

“Hi, May…” he said quietly. He sat down on a bench and hung his head.

May blinked. “Is something wrong?” She handed him a rose.

Drew looked up. “How did-?”

May giggled. “I kept it you know.”

Drew tingled warmly as he took the rose. It was not damaged at all. Every petal had remained the same, none bent or ripped. Even the stout heart-shaped petal on the edge remained loosely hanging there. He managed to find words to say. “That was…really nice of you.” He finally smiled at her. It wasn’t a big smile, but a smile nonetheless.

May sighed as she looked at the sky, which was a calming blue with fluffy little playful clouds dancing and floating about. “At least today is my day off.”

The breeze blew her brown hair, making it wave back and forth. “Want to go for a walk?” she asked him.

Drew sighed. “Ok, but no one can see us.”

May tilted her head. “Why not?”

“Because I’m a prince, and well, you’re…”

“I’m just a servant,” she stated grumpily.

~ ~ ~

They walked along the banks of the nearby lake, enjoying the clear water with the sun’s reflection upon it, and the wind pushing soft ripples through the water, and some Chimecho floated in the wind, singing with their soothing voices.

May skipped in the grass, not minding how tall it was and how itchy it was.

Drew smiled as he watched her frolic about. His smile quickly turned to a frown when he heard a rumbling in the distance. He looked around for any signs of a thunderstorm, but the skies were innocent, the sun was still the friendly golden orb it was today…

May tripped as she stopped a cloud of sand in the far distance. What could it be? It was coming closer and closer…

She stepped back and managed to point out a man on his Tauros. He was tan, and had wild, messy black hair. She could also point out a faint “z” on both of his cheeks.

Drew glared at the incoming crowd. It was-

“Satoshi’s coming!” Drew shouted to May.

May quickly turned around and ran towards him. “I’m scared. Who are they?”

Drew looked at them menacingly. “He’s the one who killed my father.”

May held onto him as they both ran for their lives. An arrow barely missed the top of her head and landed in front of her, halting her.

Satoshi laughed and they quickly turned around to face them. It was not an evil laugh, though…

“What have we here?” he remarked as he jumped off his Tauros. He was a few feet taller than them both. Drew guessed that he was in his late teens. “Ha, it’s the king’s boy! And his little hired girl!”

Drew murmured under his breath, but he made it loud enough for Satoshi to hear. “Leave us alone.”

“You know our kingdom’s have been rivals for years, haven’t you?” he remarked.

Drew sighed angrily. “It’s not my kingdom. It’s my brother’s.”

Satoshi pulled his bow out and prepared an arrow at them. “Tell me the secret of your kingdom, and the girl is free to go, as well as you.”

Drew stammered. He didn’t know of any secret. What was Satoshi talking about? “I do not know of any secret,” he said firmly.

Satoshi grimaced. “As future ruler you should know, or at least heard of it. Puh-lease.”

Drew shook his head.

Satoshi looked frustrated. “You’ve made two strikes so far. Care to strike again?”

Drew pulled May behind him protectively.

Satoshi laughed at his pathetic attempt and some of his guards seized him and pulled May away from him. She wriggled and protested, but they did not let their grip get any looser. The guards were holding him so tight, he practically couldn’t breath, and his usually clear vision turned blurry from his increasing pain. In less than five seconds, he was knocked out and May was pulled away.
~~~~~
Yes...Bad title, I know...couldn't think of much else.

Be seeing you!

-Pichu Gurl ;172;
 

MayShuufan

Mrs Brendan Birch ^^
Well that was intresting *blinks*....and different. It was well written though and I lost the plot a bit....but that's probably just me. Anyway like I said before that was intresting...update soon.
 
nice chappie once again............ sad about shuu's dad................
can't wait 4 chapter 4^_^
 

intergalactic platypus

Only rescues maidens
oooh im now a fan. i like contestshipping and i like fics that arent like the traditional anime. its also good to see ash as a bad guy and drew as a hero when its so frequently the other way around. i also like it how may and drew are having a prince/servant relationship, i think its cute. this is a creative fic
 

Xiang

Well-Known Member
buttersgirl said:
oooh im now a fan. i like contestshipping and i like fics that arent like the traditional anime. its also good to see ash as a bad guy and drew as a hero when its so frequently the other way around. i also like it how may and drew are having a prince/servant relationship, i think its cute. this is a creative fic
Thank you, buttersgirl, for coming. I'm not an Ash fan, so sorry to all those who were offended!

-Pichu Gurl ;172;
 

Encyclopika

The Queen
The Toast was mentioned! XP
Anyway, great chapter...I loved how Satoshi was made the bad guy. XP Continue to amaze me. ^^
 

deoxysmaster8000

no-one can beat me!!
that was great!!!!!!!!!!!pm me every time you update!!!!!
 

Xiang

Well-Known Member
Encyclopika: Whoa! I didn't notice until now!

deoxysmaster8000: I have you on the PM list.:)

I just posted a new fic, link in my siggy. Please check it out!

-Pichu Gurl ;172;
 

intergalactic platypus

Only rescues maidens
i actually love the ash thing. his nobility on the show bothers me cause hes so moral. and the princess kasumi thing is funny, how drew liked her. anyway, the fact that i read the whole thing says that i like it, cause i give up on fics that bore me
 

Sequoia

Well-Known Member
...gah! make it longer...please? ^.^ it's way too short, even by me XDD everything else was okay, but more description could have been good...^.^ looking forward to the next chappie of RLB!
 
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