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RPG School for Beginners

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Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Hope its ok I sticky this.

About:

This RPG school as it says is for beginners, meaning for members who have been here a short time and or just need help with getting the idea of how to RP. This will be a hand on experience for them to try and understand how the process works and how to get accepted almost every time into a RPG and understand how to participate with out fail in a RPG.

Warning:

When you participate in this school you are liable to be warned greatly if you do NOT show the progress you make in here in other RPG’s. Meaning if you work hard here, you better work just as hard out of here. Or else.


How this works:

This will be a step-by-step progress. Certain things will be taught and explained at certain points and people can just try with out having to ‘join.’ Meaning if you want to be apart of the school, you don’t have to post going “Can I join?” You just have to start from the beginning of the lesson and work you way through until you’re caught up.

Each step will be explained in great detail and have a ‘wrong way’ and a ‘right way’ example for one to look at. Do not bluntly copy the example.

The school will be starting with how to join a rpg, as creating a rpg is harder and should probably be left alone until a beginner has more experience in participating in someone’s rpg.

Rules:

1. Do not ask to join, just jump right in and work your way through.

2. Have read the rules and advice and any other RPG sticky. This includes following these rules.

3. Be patient with other players and respect the GMs and Mods.

4. Try to improve and take critiquing willingly.


Step-by-step:

1. I will explain the plot of the RPG to you and the sign ups for it.

2. I will create a ‘wrong way’ sign up.

3. Then I will create a ‘right way’ sign up.

4. Then you will create your own sign up and I will ‘grade it.’ Telling you what needs to improve and what needs to be cut all together.

5. Once about five people have reached a suitable goal, I will move on to the next lesson.

The next lesson will be explained later.



LESSON ONE: Joining a RPG and creating a Signup!




Note: I am using a simple trainer plot for this. These are the simplest and the most overused. This is very simple. Trainer plot was provided by Renegade as she is helping me. No she isn’t critiquing you all can stop worrying :p


Training School:

Plot: Kanto is starting up a new challenge for trainers. Double Battle Gyms. The challenge is to have two pokemon and use only two pokemon throughout the league. Though you are allowed to capture other pokemon, the league wants to see if someone can do it with two pokemon alone.

But while this is going on, strange things have been happening, pokemon or trainers have gone missing, trainers usually show up sometime later after disappearing, with bad cases of Amnesia, but it's few and far between so no one has connected trainers and pokemon going missing. Just tossed it up as random things.

You've probably heard of it but like most you put it aside as to pokemon running away and like most others you assume that the unlucky trainers had a run in with a Slowbro or something.

Each trainer will receive their Pokemon in pallet town from the professor there, Emily Oak (Great granddaughter of the professor Oak) Only Kanto pokemon are available in this RPG meaning you can not catch Johto/Hoenn pokemon.

Starter pokemon: there is no limit to pokemon, meaning that once one is taken it’s not gone. Anyone can have any pokemon they want from these lists. But you can not have two of the same pokemon nor can you have two pokemon of the same type.

Water pokemon: Squrtile. Magikarp. Staryu.

Fire pokemon: Charmander. Vulpix. Ponyta.

Grass pokemon: Bulbasour. Oddish. Bellsprout.




~*~

Gyms: Gym leaders don’t have only Kanto pokemon.

First Gym
Name: Embyr
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Cyndaquil & Torchic
Crimson Badge
Town: Viridian

Second Gym
Name: Ty
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Delcatty & Aipom
Silver Badge
Town: Cerulean City

Third Gym
Name: Lilly
Gender: Female
Pokemon: Nidoking & Nidoqueen
Violet Badge
Town: Saffron

Fourth Gym
Name: Ruth
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Sableye & Mightyena
Ebony Badge
Town: Fuchisa

Final Gym
Name: Emily
Gender: Female
Pokemon: Altaria & Skarmory
Navy Badge
Town: Cannibar


~*~

Sign up:

Name:
Age: (12-15)
Gender:
Personality:
Description:
History: (Just a little about your hometown, how you grew up and why you became a trainer)
Pokemon: You will need two of these.

Type:
Name:
Gender:
Personality: (Note these can be simple personality traits but still don’t make them TOO simple)


Examples:

The Wrong way

Name: John
Age: 12
Gender: male
Personality: he likes to go swimming and loves water pokemon. He has a bad temper though but is a really good friend. He can also talk to pokemon and understand them.
Description: he wears black t-shirts and baggy jeans. He has brown spiked hair and is really tall.
History: John is an orphan as his parents died in a fire. He became a trainer because he likes to watch battles.

Pokemon:

Type: Squirtle
Name: Squirt
Gender: male
Personality: Really tough and cocky.

Type: Oddish
Name: Dish
Gender: female
Personality: very shy and silly.



The right way:

Name: Erin
Age: 14
Gender: female
Personality: Erin at first is a rather shy person, she doesn’t like to talk to a lot of people and would rather just be left alone. Though she isn’t one to be rude at all and while she likes to be alone then again she does get lonely. She is very self cautious and often thinks of the worse things to happen. She does enjoy a good book to read and will often go outside to enjoy nature while she reads.

Erin is also rather emotional and gets very attached to people who are able to get close to her. Once she becomes someone’s friend she will usually stick by them and defend them. Even if she isn’t one for a lot of words.

Description: She stands around 5’2 and has a very pale completion. She has light blonde hair which grows to her shoulders. But she keeps it back in a lose ponytail. Her face is covered in freckles. Her eyes are a gentle blue green and are behind a pair of glasses. Her rather thin fragile form is clothed in a green sleeveless shirt with a pink tank top over it. She wears a pair of jean shorts that are just above her knee.

Erin wears a pair of green flip flops. She wears an ankle and a wrist bracelet that match. She carries a pretty yellow back pack that is full of pokemon guide books and a few notebooks and other girl needs.

History: Erin grew up in the small town of levander. She was an only child raised by her father mostly as her mother lived far off and never had the income capable of raising her daughter. Erin’s childhood, though a bit broken, wasn’t a bad one. She had plenty of friends and enjoyed school until she turned ten. That’s when she began to grow distant from people, even her father, when her father noticed how secluded she was becoming he signed her up for the new double battle league. Erin didn’t want to go but was soon sent on her way to pallet via plane and landed in the city of Viridian and took a bus to Pallet… where her journey would soon begin.


Pokemon:

Type: Oddish
Name: Mandy
Gender: female
Personality: Mandy is a rather naïve young oddish, she listens well but just doesn’t always get what is going on and is even sometimes oblivious when she is in battle. Mandy adores Poe as if Poe was her sibling.

Type: Charmander
Name: Poe
Gender: female
Personality: Poe is a rather strong willed little charmander, she doesn’t like to give up and often doesn’t even listen. As she thinks she can handle battles on her own. She doesn’t like Mandy to much as she finds the oddish annoying and stupid.


~*~

Your first objective:

now is to create a sign up for this RPG. Use the forums provided and try your best. I will correct you if they do not fulfill what is needed. If you need help just ask. I want you all to learn and I won’t be hard on you unless you aren’t even trying.

Grades:

F: Scrap the whole signup and try again. It didn't pass at all.

D:While it would be best to scrap it, I will critic majorly at what needs repair.

C: Don't scrap it but it still needs alot of work and will get criticed.

B: Acceptible but could always be improved.

A: Pretty darn good, acceptible and passes with flying colors. Though there is always room for improvment this is the best grade one can get.
 
Name: Pheonix Aurion
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Personality: Pheonix takes everything seriously. He doesn't take breaks for fun but only for eating and sleeping. Pheonix has no sense of humor and because of that Pheonix has rarely laughed. He is pretty much anti-social. Pheonix doesn't trust people because of an accident that happened to his family. Although he doesn't socialize, Pheonix actually helps anyone in desprate need of help.

Description: Pheonix is about 5'6 ft tall. He is light-weight so he weighs about 80 lbs. Pheonix is very slim but not so slim that somebody can compare his body with a stick. His arms are somewhat long in length. He has light auburn hair that is messy but still somehow tidy. When somebody looks at his eyes that person only sees light blue eyes that show sadness.

History: Pheonix grew up in Viridian City. There he had a happy family. When he turned 10, Pheonix was given an Charmander as a gift. Only a few days after that his father's best friend, Mithos killed Pheonix's father and mother. Pheonix was luck and escaped with Whip his Eevee. Pheonix was soon found and was taken in by his foster family. His foster family allowed Pheonix to keep his last name. Pheonix had a somewhat un-eventful life. The only happy occasions were his birthdays. Soon enough Pheonix wanted to enter the Double League and he did. Later on Pheonix found out why Mithos killed his family. Mithos was being blackmailed by a person who only revealed his nickname: ShadowWarrior.

Pokemon:

Type: Charmander
Name: Whip
Gender: Male
Personality: Whip would be like the strong and silent type. Whip takes after Pheonix and rarely converses with other Pokemon.

Type: Ponyta
Name: Rush
Gender: Male
Personality: Rush is more like the opposite of Pheonix. Rush is friendly and does talk with other Pokemon. He is like the Pokemon version of Brock. Rush flirts with any Ponyta he sees. Constantly, Whip has to drag Rush away from Ponyta females.
 
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TheTurquoiseTauros!

This is bull crap!!!
Name: Justin Conway
Age: 15
Gender: male
Personality: Justin likes to smile alot on a count of he is happy most of the time. He will always stick up for his friends and family and he hopes they will do the same for him. Justin has a way with words and likes to talk alot, and alot of people find that he is very annoying but he doesnt really care what people say about him. He is no where near a leader and will sometimes take constructive cridisism personaly. Justin will also take directions, most of the time,without hesitation. Justin likes to be the center of attention sometimes because of the lack of attention he gets. He know the reason for that is his inability to take comand.Justin is also very anxious and can hardly ever sit still.

Description: Justin stands about 5 feet 3 inches and he wieghs around 120 pounds. He doesnt have much mussle and he doesnt really work out and it shows. He has short dirty blond hair that looks sun bleached and it also has green highlights on the top of his head. Justin has bright blue eyes and thats the first thing people notice about him, his eyes. They change color all the time, sometimes there green or grey but mostly there blue. He has on a blue vest that covers part of the white longsleeve shirt he has on under it. Justin also wears cream colored cargos and they have a lot of pockets where he puts his possesions. He mostly wears brown sandels that he scrapes on the floor when he walks. Justin has a silver Rolex watch on his right wrist which he never takes off as he is always wanting to know what time it is.

History: Justin grew up in the town of Fushia City. He loved that town because he and his mother would go watch the gym leader at the pokemon gym and watch him battle all the trainers that would challenge him. Justin would sit there for hours and watch him battle all the weaklings and the stronger trainers. The other reason he loved Fushia city was because of the Safari zone. Justin's mother would take him there to look at all the pokemon. He wouldn't catch anythin of course because he was too young but his mother would catch all kinds of pokemon. She caught so many that they made there own little pokemon corral in the backyard which was a couple acres wide. But one time something bad happend, Justin almost got hurt by a parasect and his father got angery at his mom for having all the pokemon. His mom wouldnt get rid of them so Justin's father threatened to leave. He got over it though and said they could keep the pokemon if there was an adult around at all times to supervise.

Pokemon:

Type: staryu
Name: Pointy(i wish i could have a slowpoke)
Gender: male
personality: Pointy is a very shy staryu but likes to battle. He has a lot to learn about battling because he hasnt won very many battles. Pointy will often run away instead of battle.

Type: bellsprout
Name: Trape'
Gender: female
Personality: Trape' is very self centered and she thinks very highly of herself. She will act first,think last. She thinks Justin has no need for his other pokemon and thinks she's all he needs.
 
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Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Here we go:

Currently regrading.

Raider Phoenix

Name: Pheonix Aurion
Age: 15
Gender: Male

This is fine. XD

Personality: Pheonix takes everything seriously. He doesn't take breaks for fun but only for eating and sleeping. Pheonix has no sense of humor and because of that Pheonix has never laughed. He is pretty much anti-social. Pheonix doesn't trust people because of an accident that happened to his family. Although he doesn't socialize, Pheonix actually helps anyone in desprate need of help.

Never ever laugh? Even when was little? isn't that a little inhuman? His personality isn't tottally believible. I suggest you think about it a bit more, I mean while he dose't socialize much he seems a bit more robotic then human. Does he not have any other emotions other being dead serious all the time?

Description: Pheonix is about 5'6 ft tall. He is light-weight so he weighs about 80 lbs. Pheonix is very slim but not so slim that somebody can compare his body with a stick. His arms are somewhat long in length. He has light auburn hair that is messy but still somehow tidy. When somebody looks at his eyes that person only sees light blue eyes that show no emotion.

This is fine though there goes the no emotion, man is this guy a robot? Out of all parts of the body, it is the eyes that are like windows to ones soul. he can be all serious as he wants but he is human and I am sure he still feels emotion. He doesn't have to show it though, but eyes tend to give one away.

History: Pheonix grew up in Viridian City. There he had a happy family. When he turned 10, Pheonix was given an Eevee as a gift. Only a few days after that his father's best friend, Mithos killed Pheonix's father and mother. Pheonix was luck and escaped with Whip his Eevee. Pheonix was soon found and was taken in by his foster family. His foster family allowed Pheonix to keep his last name. Pheonix had a somewhat un-eventful life. The only happy occasions were his birthdays. Soon enough Pheonix wanted to enter the Double League and he did. On his way Pheonix found a Fire Stone and when it came into contact with Whip, he evolved into Flareon.

Yeah you gotta watch those best friends, they will jsut randomly kill your parents. It happens all the time. No wait... no it doesn't. This history while long enough is a bit wtf and doesn't really make sense. Why did his dad's best friend just go and randomly kill the parents? Did he get punished? I know your trying to make a dramatic history but that just isn't believible.

Also, you are a beginning trainer and there should be no reason for the eevee what so ever. I have offered the pokemon avaible and it is not eevee nor flareon. This will affect your grade greatly for ignoring this.

Pokemon:

Type: Flareon
Name: Whip
Gender: Male
Personality: Whip would be like the strong and silent type. Whip takes after Pheonix and rarely converses with other Pokemon.

I don't see Eevee or Flareon listed in the aviable pokemon list. Unless the gm stats otherwise in PM or something, this isn't allowed and shows you can not read a proper plot.

Type: Ponyta
Name: Rush
Gender: Male
Personality: Rush is more like the opposite of Pheonix. Rush is friendly and does talk with other Pokemon. He is like the Pokemon version of Brock. Rush flirts with any Ponyta he sees. Constantly, Whip has to drag Rush away from Ponyta females.

This is fine...


Final grade: C-

You got some major edits here, the history doesn't make sense and then there is the eevee which just breaks the whole point of having a list of pokemon you can get. I know it plays in with the history but no, sorry. Get rid of it.

Fix the history and take out the flareon. Also try and think of real emotion and just don't skip out on it.



~*~

porygon2lover


note: what amazes me about your sign up is all the effort you put into it. If you put half the effort into other rpgs perhaps I wouldn't yell at you so much.


Regrading:

Name:Justin Conway
Age:15
Gender:male

This is fine.


Personality:Justin likes to smile alot on a count of he is happy most of the time. He will always stick up for his friends and family and he hopes they will do the same for him. Justin has a way with words and likes to talk alot,and for some reason no one finds him annoying. He is no where near a leader and will sometimes take constructive cridisism personaly. Justin will also take directions,most of the time,without hesitation. Justin likes to be the center of attention sometimes because of the lack of attention he gets. He know the reason for that is his inability to take comand.Justin is also very anxious and can hardly ever sit still.

For someone who isn't found annoying, he seems completly annoying. I'd find him annoying. Its not bad though, just a bit well um, he would be annoying to me. I'd take that out if I were you, as other peopels characters will decide if he annoys them or not.

Description:Justin stands about 5 feet 3 inches and he wieghs around 120 pounds. He doesnt have much mussle and he doesnt really work out and it shows. He has short dirty blond hair that looks sun bleached and it also has green highlights on the top of his head. Justin has bright blue eyes and thats the first thing people notice about him,his eyes. The change color all the time,sometimes there green or grey but mostly there blue. He has on a blue vest that covers part of the white longsleeve shirt he has on under it. Justin also wears cream colored cargos and they have a lot of pockets where he puts his possesions. He mostly wears brown sandels that he scrapes on the floor when he walks.Justin has a silver Rolex watch on his right wrist which he never takes off as he is always wanting to know what time it is.

This is fine, not great but its fine. Though I suggest that you put spaces between the : as you did this every time.

Discription:Justin

it should be Discription: Justin

Also when you use a , put a space after this as well. You might want to run your su through a spell check, though I am not great at catching everything some of the miner things would be caught by it.


History:Justin grew up in the town of Fushia City. He loved that town because the gym leader would always stop by his house and show off his sableye and mightyena. Justin would sit there for hours and watch him battle with his own pokemon. The other reason he loved Fushia city was because of the Safari zone. Justin's mother would take him there to look at all the pokemon. He wouldnt catch anythin of course because he was too young but his mother would catch all kinds of pokemon. She caught so many that they madt there own little pokemon corral in the backyard which was a couple acres wide. But one time something bad happend,Justin almost got hurt by a parasect and his father got angery at his mom for having all the pokemon.His mom wouldnt get rid of them so Justin's father left. Justin's dad still calls him once in a blue moon but he never comes to see his son.

The Gym leader just randomly going by his house and showing off his pokemon? I think not, as the gym leader would have better things to do then to show off the pokemon. Like training and battling at the gym perhaps?

Also, the whole 'zomg my son got hurt so I shall just leave him in your care' is kinda silly. I mean if the father was that worried about Justin being harmed by his mother's pokemon... why would he just leave him with her and only call every once in awhile?

Pokemon:

Type:staryu
Name:pointy
Gender:male
personality:pointy is a very shy staryu but likes to battle. He has a lot to learn about battling because he hasnt won very many battles. Pointy will often run away instead of battle.

Type:bellsprout
Name:Trape'
Gender:female
Personality:Trape' is very self centered and she thinks very highly of herself. She will act first,think last. She thinks Justin has no need for his other pokemon and thinks she's all he needs.


This is fine though remember the spaces are needed. Though it is a bit like my characters pokemon, a tough pokemon and a weaker one.

Final Grade: C

You need to put more spaces and to edit your history a bit and personality. Though if you put half as much effort into joining other rpgs like you did to this you should be alright. But you still need alot of work.





I suggest you both make these edits and let me know when they are complete and I will regrade. You need a B- to pass.
 
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TheTurquoiseTauros!

This is bull crap!!!
OK Lady Myuu, I hope I did ok, I really want to pass and I have one question, do we put a space after a period in the begining of a sentence? Also Im sorry but I dont have spell check that I could find.
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
do you use ms word? Spell check is the abc thing with a check mark on it. Also you always put a space after a period or a comma. You always capilize after a period as well. Would you like me to regrade now or let you finish?
 

TheTurquoiseTauros!

This is bull crap!!!
Ok, I think I am ready to be evaluated.

Oh and lady myuu, you arent so bad after all. I did think of you as a little bossy but now I know thats just your job.
 
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I edited it. Can you please check it and see if you could regrade it?
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Its called tough love, Porygonlover2, sometimes I just gotta be hard on people to get the point across. I don't like being bossy or mean but then again, its sometimest he only way.

I'll regrade it and edit this soon Raider Phoenix.
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Hun, posts like that are what get you in trouble. You have to give me time to grade you and the other one. I will let you know when I am finished grading and showing what I like and dislike.

Posts like that are spam, you do not ask the GM if the rpg is going to start soon, you do not ask if this or that. Unless this relates to helping you join or reply or something and asking a helpful question then don't bother posting.

It counted as spam, this is why I started teh school to help reduce that. Give peopel time to do things, I don't want to do this all the time I want to do other things as well.

I don't want to be mean but you have to understand that you have to post with meaning and something that contributes to the thread.

I am really glad you are perticipating in this school as I think it will be good for you... please try and understand.
 

Kazuki Yukimura

Well-Known Member
Please, wait for me!

Name: Jin Takius

Age: 13

Gender: Male

Personality: Jin is a really sad boy, who tries to make friends but is rejected by others for being a little weird, like, talking to himself.He actually has got a friend. But, even in this situations, he is suprisingly strong willed, and will never give up, even in the worst situations. (I know, I abused the ''but''here)

Description: Jin uses his black, long and smooth hair in a ponytail which goes until his waist. He wears a black-sleeved shirt, with 'Sadness' writen on it with white letters. He also wears some dark-blue trousers, and black shoes, with a white stripe on the sides.

History: Jin´s parents died when he was just a baby, with three years old. It was in that time people started to notice that he was really sad. But, getting back to the history, he was taken to a orphanage, where he lived until he completed five years old, when he was adopted by the Takius family. When he completed ten years old, he started to travel, even with his parents worrying so much about him, he left his house, with his Pokémon on his side.

Pokemon:

Type: Squirtle

Name: Skipper

Gender: Male

Personality: Skipper is very shy in comparison to other aquatic pokémon , but he doesn´t let it affect his battle abilities. He really prefer to play with other Pokémon than battling then, which caused trouble on Jin gym leader battles.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pokemon:


Type: Bellsprout

Name: Bellsy

Gender: Female

Personality: Bellsy is really mean to other Pokemon, but, she is really kind to Skipper, for a mysterious reason. She really likes to battle agains´t pokémon stronger than her, like, for example, fighting a Charizard. That deail made Jin take her to a Pokémon Center a lot of times.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heh, I need to improve too XD Very much

Edit------------

Okay, about the weird thing, I don´t think it´s weird talking alone, or, with myself, because, well, I do that all the time, because people ignore me, or doesn´t even notice that I´m in their side... Sad isn´t it?... I doesn´t even know why I am writing this...
 
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Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
And here we go again:

Name: Pheonix Aurion
Age: 15
Gender: Male

This is fine again XD


Personality: Pheonix takes everything seriously. He doesn't take breaks for fun but only for eating and sleeping. Pheonix has no sense of humor and because of that Pheonix has rarely laughed. He is pretty much anti-social. Pheonix doesn't trust people because of an accident that happened to his family. Although he doesn't socialize, Pheonix actually helps anyone in desprate need of help.

Much better, makes alot more sense.

Description: Pheonix is about 5'6 ft tall. He is light-weight so he weighs about 80 lbs. Pheonix is very slim but not so slim that somebody can compare his body with a stick. His arms are somewhat long in length. He has light auburn hair that is messy but still somehow tidy. When somebody looks at his eyes that person only sees light blue eyes that show sadness.

Again much better, were on a roll.

History: Pheonix grew up in Viridian City. There he had a happy family. When he turned 10, Pheonix was given an Charmander as a gift. Only a few days after that his father's best friend, Mithos killed Pheonix's father and mother. Pheonix was luck and escaped with Whip his Eevee. Pheonix was soon found and was taken in by his foster family. His foster family allowed Pheonix to keep his last name. Pheonix had a somewhat un-eventful life. The only happy occasions were his birthdays. Soon enough Pheonix wanted to enter the Double League and he did. Later on Pheonix found out why Mithos killed his family. Mithos was being blackmailed by a person who only revealed his nickname: ShadowWarrior.

You got a little sideplot going on here, which isn't a bad thing really. I see you typoed eevee in there which can be easiyl edited so I wont take down the grade for that. Just make sure to remember that while you can have a nice history like that, the gm is in charge of the rpg and decides the plot in the long run.

Pokemon:

Type: Charmander
Name: Whip
Gender: Male
Personality: Whip would be like the strong and silent type. Whip takes after Pheonix and rarely converses with other Pokemon.

Type: Ponyta
Name: Rush
Gender: Male
Personality: Rush is more like the opposite of Pheonix. Rush is friendly and does talk with other Pokemon. He is like the Pokemon version of Brock. Rush flirts with any Ponyta he sees. Constantly, Whip has to drag Rush away from Ponyta females.

*sigh* ok I didn't think of this before but I just noticed that you have two fire pokemon. I listed in the pokemon section you have to have two of different types, so all you have to do is change one to either grass or water, I know you probably just want fire pokemon but thats in the rules.

I give you a simple: B-

You pass. Please wait until the next example is posted to continue. You should still make edits to see if your grade can be lifted.

~*~


Name: Justin Conway
Age: 15
Gender: male

Tis fine


Personality: Justin likes to smile alot on a count of he is happy most of the time. He will always stick up for his friends and family and he hopes they will do the same for him. Justin has a way with words and likes to talk alot, and alot of people find that he is very annoying but he doesnt really care what people say about him. He is no where near a leader and will sometimes take constructive cridisism personaly. Justin will also take directions, most of the time, without hesitation. Justin likes to be the center of attention sometimes because of the lack of attention he gets. He knows the reason for that is his inability to take comand.Justin is also very anxious and can hardly ever sit still.

This is fine. There is always room for improvment though.

Description: Justin stands about 5 feet 3 inches and he wieghs around 120 pounds. He doesnt have much mussle and he doesnt really work out and it shows. He has short dirty blond hair that looks sun bleached and it also has green highlights on the top of his head. Justin has bright blue eyes and thats the first thing people notice about him, his eyes. They change color all the time, sometimes there green or grey but mostly there blue. He has on a blue vest that covers part of the white longsleeve shirt he has on under it. Justin also wears cream colored cargos and they have a lot of pockets where he puts his possesions. He mostly wears brown sandels that he scrapes on the floor when he walks. Justin has a silver Rolex watch on his right wrist which he never takes off as he is always wanting to know what time it is.


Nice discription, the eyes are interesting but I do know thats possible as my sis's eyes seem to change colors mattering what color of shirt she is wearnig.

History: Justin grew up in the town of Fushia City. He loved that town because he and his mother would go watch the gym leader at the pokemon gym and watch him battle all the trainers that would challenge him. Justin would sit there for hours and watch him battle all the weaklings and the stronger trainers. The other reason he loved Fushia city was because of the Safari zone. Justin's mother would take him there to look at all the pokemon. He wouldn't catch anythin of course because he was too young but his mother would catch all kinds of pokemon. She caught so many that they made there own little pokemon corral in the backyard which was a couple acres wide. But one time something bad happend, Justin almost got hurt by a parasect and his father got angery at his mom for having all the pokemon. His mom wouldnt get rid of them so Justin's father threatened to leave. He got over it though and said they could keep the pokemon if there was an adult around at all times to supervise.

a bit clunky and confusing still, but its good enough.

Pokemon:

Type: staryu
Name: Pointy(i wish i could have a slowpoke)
Gender: male
personality: Pointy is a very shy staryu but likes to battle. He has a lot to learn about battling because he hasnt won very many battles. Pointy will often run away instead of battle.

Type: bellsprout
Name: Trape'
Gender: female
Personality: Trape' is very self centered and she thinks very highly of herself. She will act first,think last. She thinks Justin has no need for his other pokemon and thinks she's all he needs.

This is fine, though I don't get why the staryu would like battles yet run away. Thats kind of conflicting.

Grade: B- (almost a B)

You pass, please wait for the next example.


~*~

Name: Jin Takius

Age: 13

Gender: Male

Passes woot... duh.

Personality: Jin is a really sad boy, who tries to make friends but is rejected by others for being adopted, but, he is suprisingly strong willed, and will never give up, even in the worst situations.

Rejected because of being adopted? I don't understand that as I have adopted cousins and I love them just like I love my blood ones. I really don't think that would be a reason for rejection.

Description: Jin uses his black, long and smooth hair in a ponytail which goes until his waist. He wears a black-sleeved shirt, with 'Sadness' writen on it with white letters. He also wears some dark-blue trousers, and black shoes, with a white stripe on the sides.

Goth anyone? well not real goth but just black. Poor depressed boy... still I think he is a bit to emotional and overreacting just because he was adopted. Meh will see with the history wont we?

History: Jin´s parents died when he was just a baby, being taken to a orphanage, where he lived until he completed five years old, when he was adopted by the Takius family. When he completed ten years old, he started to travel with his two Pokémons on his side.

Short and sweet isn't it? Not bad though you could explain more detial about how his family died, what his childhood was like and such things as this.

Pokemon:

Type: Squirtle

Name: Skipper

Gender: Male

Personality: Skipper is very shy in comparison to other aquatic pokémon , but he doesn´t let it affect his battle abilities.

could have a bit more to his personality.


Type: Bellsprout

Name: Bellsy

Gender: Female

Personality: Bellsy is really mean to other Pokemon, but, she is really kind to Skipper, for a mysterious reason

same as the first one.

Overal you could give more detail on everything, try and expand it out a bit more. Think deeper if you have too, if you were in this persons shoes, how would you feel? Is there more personality then jsut sadness? Perhaps lonilness and anger...

Grade: C+

You get the idea but you could expand more on it. Make the propor edits and see what else you can add, think about it more. I am sure there is more to him then meets the eye.
 

Kazuki Yukimura

Well-Known Member
Okay my Lady (I love making jokes with names) I´m gonna make it better, and, about the adopted things, you know, some people are really preconceituous
 
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Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Yes but I doubt all people are. Why would his adopted parents bother adopting him if they were nto going to love him?

I doubt his whole school would reject him. Of course perhaps thats jsut what he thinks... just think about it a little.
 

Torkie10

Busy at the moment
Name: Cassandra Roma
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Personality: Cassandra is unsure of herself. She takes critisicm very harshly, but does not like to show this weakness. She bottles up her emotions, trying to blend in to the background. The emotional buildup causes problems for her, and she went to a psycyatrist and a psycologist for several years before learning how to cope. Although she does not like to get into a fight, when she blows her top, she has a very strong grip and a very high pitched scream. She likes to be left alone even though she wants some friends- she just can't seem to make friends with anyone. Often her pride gets her in trouble because she refuses to admit she is wrong.

Description: Being pretty short for a teenager, most people don't notice her because she also doesn't like to talk. Her long brown-black hair often covers her face, and she wairs long pants and a sweatshirt so that she can do more physical activities in a skirt. She is more active at night than during the day because she has trouble falling asleep, but often sleeps late.

History: Cassandra moved every four years because of her father's job, but eventually the family setteled down in Vermillion City. At one point during the psycotherapy, Cassandra was suggested that she consider becoming a Pokemon trainer. The aim was that she would exersize more and interact with other people, but the plan backfired. Instead, Cassandra spent more and more time thinking about Pokemon and less with her family. After a while, she aquired the trainer's liscense, which convinced her that she should spend more time traveling. Although she loved to travel, she had a hard time convincing herself to move on from one place to the next. She was once in a position of athourity at a club in school, and after she became subject to harsh critisism, she would retreat and seethe with memories of the past. Fearing that she would be left out of the "fun", Cassandra "signed up" so that she could be accepted. She didn't know that it was serious, and when she was accepted, she felt very embaressed, because everyone else knew more than she did, snd because she didn't have any Pokemon. She decided to go to Pallet Town to get some Pokemon for her journey.

Pokemon: Ponyta
Type:Fire
Name:Equi Boni
Gender: Male
Personality: Naughty, Equi Boni was named after the Latin phrase "good horse", because Cassandra's last ponyta was very well behaved, and was good for riding lessons. Contrary to his name, EB (as he is commonly called) is a mischevious Ponyta. He would often disobey Oak in battle, and after a while, it was suggested that EB be used for riding lessons so that EB would learn to obey her. After many long periods of training, EB would speed up, slow down, stop, start, turn, and jump. However, no one could do nothing else on EB because he was as stubborn as a rock in cement. During battles, he would attack if he thought he could win, but if not, he would run away. After a while, Oak got tired of his antics, and put him up so that trainers would take him away. She made it clear that the trainer would also have to be willing to take on MC, because MC was one of the few Pokemon that could keep EB under control.

Pokemon:Staryu
Type: Water/Psychic
Name: Marus Certus
Gender: Male
Personality: Named for the Latin phrase "Guiding Sea", MC (as he is commonly referred to) is a cool-headed echniderm. A serious Pokemon, MC is often shooting water at EB in order to stop the ponyta's latest stunt. Often mistaken for a pillow, he has been sat on several times. This causes him to be irratated, and he shoots ice cold water on whoever sits on him.
OOC EDIT: Um, now she doesn't have much of a description. 0o; I seem to have a lot of trouble with description/personality/history in my sign ups all of the time.
OOC EDIT 2: My second edit has added more to history. I hope I am doing well.
 
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Spectre

I'm the Juggernaut!
I'm pretty new at this RPG thing, so I would like to try this out, see if it can help me.

---------------------------

Name: Lloyd Hargin
Age: 14
Gender: Male

Personality: With a rather simplistic life, Lloyd carries a simplistic personality. Having been living in one area for his whole like, Lloyd tends to get curious of the smallest details, often things that people would ignore than take a closer look into. Due to this overactive instinct, he tends to search for adventrous events, causing much discomfort for his neighbors and people around. They will schold him, but his smile defeats their temporary disgust and allows him his freedom once again.

Lloyd is quite popular amongst the population of Pallet Town, for he does not hesitate to do what he believes is the right thing and enjoys doing it. He always tries his best and despises the agony of losing. He will never lose interest in anything, or he feels he is losing to his "lazy" part.

Description: Lloyd generates the assumption that he is your average teenager; tall and slim build, short brown hair, and maturing muscles. He towers above the young 'uns with a height of 5 foot 9 inches and weighs around the natural stage of 140 lbs. A short stalky growth of hair lays on top of Lloyd's head, each strand depicting a strong color of light brown. His eyes glow slightly cyan as if streaming water. He enjoys to wear jeans that are slightly baggy and a belt. He often wears T-shirts, but if the weather feels a bit damp or chilly, he plops a sweater on.

History: Lloyd has been living in Pallet Town since his birth. His mother and father own a local Pokemart, in which buisiness goes EXTREMELY well, after the hero of the town came and bought out the stocks for nearly all the items. Lloyd loves the small town, in which the community is tight, but has resented the fact that it is small. He has explored every inch of the town and around it, examining all the crevices. He was exploring around the labratory when he saw a paper flying through the air. Of course, due to his curiousity, he had to know what was on it. He caught the flying paper and read aloud: "The Pokemon League wants you! New league challenge! Sign up today at your local Pokemon Center and if you are new, get your own pokemon at your local lab!" Lloyd took the paper home that night and reasoned out why he would want to journey and why not. In the end, he decided he wanted to see the world outside and travel around. The next morning, he set out to get his pokemon...

Pokemon:

Type: Magikarp
Name: Cronos
Gender: Male

Personality: Cronos is extremely snotty. He will refuse to do anything that does not help him in some way and refuses to increase his strengths. Cronos believes that he is the strongest pokemon alive, but refuses to fight. He believes his pride is worth more than his life and only stands up for himself when his pride is being attacked. He acts like Genis is his servant and makes him do all his work, but when Genis gets attacked, Cronos takes up the fight, saying "The master must protect his minions."


Type: Bulbasaur
Name: Genis
Gender: Male

Personality: Being an observant soul, Genis remains quiet and gentle. He is rather shy and calm, usually taking time to consider the best choices. Unlike his partner, Cronos, Genis does not boast of his enormous strength and encourages others. He especially "sucks" up to Cronos because he believes that Cronos will be stronger one day and tries not to overpower himself so Cronos's pride stays intact. He thinks of others before himself and does whatever they say.
 

/Exiled/

EternallyParadoxical
Name: Tony Ronoth (Goes by last name
Age:18
Gender: Male

Appearance:
He stands 6'2 and is build defensively. His muscles are a good size, But he looks huge mostly due to broad shoulders. But they are very thick and when tense he can withstan most physical blows. He also has very dense bones and has taken judo classes. He wears dark green pants with a brown belt, with 2 knifes starpped to it in sheathes. 1 a large bowie knife, And one a pocket knife. They arent special but are a very high quality steel. He also wears high quality brown leather boots. They are thick and seem to be something someone would wear in the wilderness. He wears a long sleeved dark green shirt that seems to be made of s light wool like material, with a brown hoody unzipped over it. It is just a normal brown hoody except with many inside pockets and a symbol of diamond inside of a square on the back made with black lines. his face is broad muscular and symmetrical and has almost unnoticable freackles around the nose.. He has light brownish tan eyes with a little bit darker brown hair that is light and puffy to the touch.. The bangs are parted and go down a little passed the eyebrow. and the rest of the hair is pulled back into a ponytail thats short.

Personality:
He is a very defensive guy. Always lets the opponet strike first, and then fights carefully. He'll never pick unnesecarry fights, But can be quite witty and win insult fights. He can be quite protective of friends though. He will always think a head of time analyzing weaknesses and such. He loves reading and will be seen reading often. He's very itellectual and likes having intelligent conversations. He is social and humorous, But dosent like stupid people. And he is also quite hard to anger. But he can have very long bouts of quiteness or thought. They can spring up at any time and depending on the emotion triggering them, they can be drastically different. If unable to help someone, he gets sad and thinks about how he shouldve helped. He is always trying to help people with emotional issues, and is in college for psychiatry.

History
Tony was born in Sidney Australia. His mother was a lovely Black haired brown eyed Irish lady named Sera. And his dad was a large muscular built brown haired man who's ancestry can be traced back to the vikings. Well up until 5 he was a happy kid. Not to whiney or demanding, with a social personality. A good life. But soon his dad started getting home later and later. Though not a big deal, his dad started losing his temper easier, and easier. Hid mom started to grow apart from his mom. Eventually when he was 7, his dad came home at 2:00 am. he didnt know exactly what happened, but a fight broke out. After hearing a gun shot, the terrified Tony snuck out his window and ran away. He didnt know how long or far... But he ran.... And ran..... He didnt remember passing out, but the next thing he knew he was in child services with many people yelling and screaming about him. He just wanted it to all end. Eventually it was all settled and he was sent on a flight to live with his uncle in New York. At age ten and living with his uncle, his wounds started to heal, and he found friends. But that did not last. One day his friend cleve was beat to death by a gang, and Tony couldnt do anything about it. He was weak. Angry at his weakness he started taking judo classes and working out. At age 13 he was well trained and fit to defend those who attacked his friends. Though it was not for another 2 years before such an event happened. It was in the middle of the night, when Tony heard something in his home. Scared he got up and went to see what was the matter. With wide eyes he turned on the light to his uncle's room to see a serial killer with a knife above his uncle. Someone who lived to kill and had no heart. He lunged the knife towards his uncle. "Clank!" a large gautlet appeared and crushed the knived hand of the murderer. Before he could scream, another appeared and crushed his throat. Luckily his uncle is always to drugged up on meds to wake up. It was then that he knew he had the power to defend.

not a beginner, but thought, why not check it anyway.
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
Exiled if you are not a beginner then there is no reason for you to be apart of this school. We don't want to intimdate teh newbies. I wont grade you.


Also: something has been brought to my attention... There is a certian weight and height problem. As one can not stand at 5'5 and weight 80 pounds unless they are like... dying. If you have problems knowing proper weights I am sure you can find programs online to show healthy weigth for certian sizes. Though weigth isn't really needed.


Here we go:

Name: Cassandra Roma
Age: 15, although she looks short enough to be 13.
Gender: Female, but the long hair hides her face most of the time. Sometimes she is mistaken for a boy with long hair, but not often.

interesting about the gender but its fine. Though you could just mention that in description and leave gender female.




Personality: Cassandra is unsure of herself. She takes critisicm very harshly, but does not like to show this weakness. She bottles up her emotions, trying to blend in to the background. The emotional buildup causes problems for her, and she went to a psycyatrist and a psycologist for several years before learning how to cope. Fearing that she would be left out of the "fun", Cassandra "signed up" so that she could be accepted. She didn't know that it was serious, and when she was accepted, she felt very embaressed, because everyone else knew more than she did.

Good detail, she seems naive and unsure and yet she is trying to cope with it. Realistic, this is nice.


Description: Being pretty short for a teenager, most people don't notice her because she also doesn't like to talk. Her long brown-black hair often covers her face, and she wairs long pants and a sweatshirt so that she can do more physical activities in a skirt. Although she does not like to get into a fight, when she blows her top, she has a very strong grip and a very high pitched scream. She likes to be left alone even though she wants some friends- she just can't seem to make friends with anyone. She is more active at night than during the day because she has trouble falling asleep, but often sleeps late. She was once in a position of athourity at a club in school, and after she became subject to harsh critisism, she would retreat and seethe with memories of the past. Often her pride gets her in trouble because she refuses to admit she is wrong.

Got some personality mixed in with some history with your description, might want to sort that out, all we need in description is what the character looks like. Some needs to go into personality (such as never admiting she is wrong) and some in history (such as the school thing)


History: Cassandra moved every four years because of her father's job, but eventually the family setteled down in Vermillion City. At one point during the psycotherapy, Cassandra was suggested that she consider becoming a Pokemon trainer. The aim was that she would exersize more and interact with other people, but the plan backfired. Instead, Cassandra spent more and more time with Pokemon and less with her family. After a while, she aquired the trainer's liscense, which convinced her that she should spend more time traveling. Although she loved to travel, she had a hard time convincing herself to move on from one place to the next.

Pokemon: Ponyta
Type:Fire
Name:Equi Boni
Gender: Male
Personality: Naughty, Equi Boni was named after the Latin phrase "good horse." Contrary to his name, EB (as he is commonly called) is a mischevious Ponyta. He would often disobey Cassandra in battle, and after a while, it was suggested that Cassandra take riding lessons so that EB would learn to obey her, and because she couldn't afford a bike. After many long periods of training, Cassandra was able to make EB speed up, slow down, stop, start, turn, and jump. However, she could do nothing else on EB because he was as stubborn as a rock in cement. During battles, he would attack if he thought he could win, but if not, he would run away. After a while, Cassandra got tired of his antics, and got her second Pokemon to Keep him in line.

Pokemon:Staryu
Type: Water/Psychic
Name: Marus Certus
Gender: Male
Personality: Named for the Latin phrase "Guiding Sea", MC (as he is commonly referred to) is a cool-headed echniderm. A serious Pokemon, MC is often shooting water at EB in order to stop the ponyta's latest stunt. Because of the Vermillion Harbor and MC's needs, Cassandra eventually learned how to swim, because she could not find the SURF HM. Often mistaken for a pillow, he has been sat on several times. This causes him to be irratated. He somewhat doubts Cassandra for her lack of control over EB, but he does what she asks him to because he knows she means well. A tank was put in Cassandra's room so that MC did not have to spend so much time in a pokeball.

You recieve your pokemon at the oak lab thus would not have them at home at all. The personalities are reflections of what will come from them but the home related stuff should not be there as she got her pokemon at teh start of her journey away from home.

Grade: B

You did very well, though while you made a passing grade I still suggest you make these edits so that it can fit well with everyone else. It may raise it to a B+ or an A.

~*~

Name: Lloyd Hargin
Age: 14
Gender: Male

Good.

Personality: With a rather simplistic life, Lloyd carries a simplistic personality. Having been living in one area for his whole like, Lloyd tends to get curious of the smallest details, often things that people would ignore than take a closer look into. Due to this overactive instinct, he tends to search for adventrous events, causing much discomfort for his neighbors and people around. They will schold him, but his smile defeats their temporary disgust and allows him his freedom once again.

Lloyd is quite popular amongst the population of Pallet Town, for he does not hesitate to do what he believes is the right thing and enjoys doing it. He always tries his best and despises the agony of losing. He will never lose interest in anything, or he feels he is losing to his "lazy" part.

Good, I got no corrections.

Description: Lloyd generates the assumption that he is your average teenager; tall and slim build, short brown hair, and maturing muscles. He towers above the young 'uns with a height of 5 foot 9 inches and weighs around the natural stage of 140 lbs. A short stalky growth of hair lays on top of Lloyd's head, each strand depicting a strong color of light brown. His eyes glow slightly cyan as if streaming water. He enjoys to wear jeans that are slightly baggy and a belt. He often wears T-shirts, but if the weather feels a bit damp or chilly, he plops a sweater on.

Good again. I think you know what your doing more then you think you do.

History: Lloyd has been living in Pallet Town since his birth. His mother and father own a local Pokemart, in which buisiness goes EXTREMELY well, after the hero of the town came and bought out the stocks for nearly all the items. Lloyd loves the small town, in which the community is tight, but has resented the fact that it is small. He has explored every inch of the town and around it, examining all the crevices. He was exploring around the labratory when he saw a paper flying through the air. Of course, due to his curiousity, he had to know what was on it. He caught the flying paper and read aloud: "The Pokemon League wants you! New league challenge! Sign up today at your local Pokemon Center and if you are new, get your own pokemon at your local lab!" Lloyd took the paper home that night and reasoned out why he would want to journey and why not. In the end, he decided he wanted to see the world outside and travel around. The next morning, he set out to get his pokemon...

Only thing I noticed is you said local lab. The league starts at pallet so thats where they must get the pokemon. Though he lives in pallet XD

Pokemon:

Type: Magikarp
Name: Cronos
Gender: Male

Personality: Cronos is extremely snotty. He will refuse to do anything that does not help him in some way and refuses to increase his strengths. Cronos believes that he is the strongest pokemon alive, but refuses to fight. He believes his pride is worth more than his life and only stands up for himself when his pride is being attacked. He acts like Genis is his servant and makes him do all his work, but when Genis gets attacked, Cronos takes up the fight, saying "The master must protect his minions."


Type: Bulbasaur
Name: Genis
Gender: Male

Personality: Being an observant soul, Genis remains quiet and gentle. He is rather shy and calm, usually taking time to consider the best choices. Unlike his partner, Cronos, Genis does not boast of his enormous strength and encourages others. He especially "sucks" up to Cronos because he believes that Cronos will be stronger one day and tries not to overpower himself so Cronos's pride stays intact. He thinks of others before himself and does whatever they say.

I love the name Cronos... anyway... this is fine. You did very good. I am notsure you should be in this school as I find no real reason why you can not perticipate in rpgs. But I have not seen you RP beyond signups so if you wish to continue you may.

Grade: A
 
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magdaw

sumthin origional :p
I really need lessons :)

---

Name: Kate Burns
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Personality: Kate is quite advanced in wisdom for her age. She wants to be independant and prove that she's not a pushover, using her mature foresight to judge situations better than many girls her own age, seeming to take a higher, more deep and complex perspective of her world. However, she falls behind in many aspects other kids her age take for granted. She isn't clued up on trends, boybands or gossip like most people.

She loves nature and tries to attain a balance like the wildlife around her, yet these feelings have her only in utter confusion. She is way ahead of her years, and her child mind has trouble coping with this. She knows that the natural way of things is right, but it can be too harsh for her sensitive feelings to take.

She is very quiet and shy, not knowing too well how to interact with others her own age. She can get very lonely and depressed and as a result, becomes ill. This denies her her independancy, and depression falls into a spiral.

Description: Kate dresses in a pair of loose jeans, hels up by a simple belt. They're battered and torn at the bottom, and accompanied by a pair of scruffy trainers, no longer their origional white and blue but now more of a brown. She wears a boyish baggy black short-sleeved t-shirt with a purple symbol of a seviper.

Her face is round and slightly porky, but her hair covers most of this, dangling down a dark blond. It hangs down straight, stopping above her waist. She always seems to have a worried expression in her green eyes. Her skin is pale due to little exposure to sunlight. When she stands, she rarely ever raises her head to eye level and seems to have an uneasy hunch.

History: She is always told that she can't take care of herself. Ever since she's been little she's been frail and a social outcast. Even with a loving, caring family, she could never fit in with normal society.

To train pokemon and enter a tournament, she wants to better herself and prove her independancy.

Pokemon: Whismur and Banette

Type: Normal
Name: Winney/WHISMUR
Gender: Female
Personality: Winney is the panicker. Some of her battles have been lost due to her not keeping her cool. And when she looses, she panicks even more. But that's because she cares, and has only her trainer's interest at heart.

Type: Ghost
Name: Jade/BANETTE
Gender: Female
Personality: Not the fairest fighter, she won't hesitate to execute a cheap shot. Needs dicipline, or she'll prove to be a handfull. Seeks love and attention, she's a softie deep down.

---

Grade me! :D
 
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