Hey, this is pretty cool so far. Apart from Mike seeming sue-ish (I'm guesing the weight problem wasn't in the first version, because here it seems forced) I'm liking this. Keep up the good work. Is this on FFnet? Because if it is could you link me so I can put it on story alert?
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Search for Knowledge: A Champion's Story
- Thread starter GoldenNoctowl77
- Start date
GoldenNoctowl77
Back in Business!
P-Arts: wow, a new reader! Thanks for taking the time to review my fic! Yeah, Mike's obsession with appearance was not in the original version, I just gave him a flaw that I too shared. Everyone seems to think that it makes him come across as gay, but I don't at all. Look at my above post to see my reasons. Search for Knowledge is not on FF.net but I will be sure to PM you whenever a new chapter is up, which should be daily until I'm caught up, so please check back.
Lucent Latias- Ha, you've had a lot of computer problems lately huh? And you still pull at it to get to my fic, what determination
. The funny thing is that I wrote this chapter before I saw the 4th movie, so I really didn't have any idea that they were similar until after. That section was in the original version, only less detail involved. LOL. Yeah, Iceking went all out with that didn't he? LOL. Thanks for reading!
Lucent Latias- Ha, you've had a lot of computer problems lately huh? And you still pull at it to get to my fic, what determination
. The funny thing is that I wrote this chapter before I saw the 4th movie, so I really didn't have any idea that they were similar until after. That section was in the original version, only less detail involved. LOL. Yeah, Iceking went all out with that didn't he? LOL. Thanks for reading!
FlamingRuby
The magic of Pokemon
Apologies for the delay, but I just now got around to Chapter 5...been busy with my own work.
Jeff is a riot, as always...and one question: do the characters name their Pokemon?
Jeff is a riot, as always...and one question: do the characters name their Pokemon?
GoldenNoctowl77
Back in Business!
Hey guys, just continuing with another remake chapter. Things start to get a little original here as Mike and co make it to the Hoenn Archipelago and we get the backstories of Bonnie and Clyde. It also explains the basis of the plot which revolves around the mission Bonnie and Clyde were given. Happy reading, this one took a while to rewrite.
Chapter 7: The Road to the Hoenn Archipelago! Intentions Revealed!
Jeff awoke during the twilight hours of the night with a raging headache. It was still dark outside; the encompassing moon above sending light through their stay room’s porthole window. Shadows reflected against the opposing wall taking odd shapes. Jeff got the feeling that he was up this early partly because he had slipped into the dream world at six in the afternoon the day before. His hair was standing in all directions due to the plump pillow that came with the bed. His eyes were droopy and he began to rub them, trying hard to become completely coherent.
The teen slowly sat up pushing his covers down toward his feet. He noticed that Mike and Amanda were still fast asleep in the beds that ran parallel to his on each side. The ferry was rocking lightly and Jeff remembered how much he hated the sea. The rolling motion of the ocean crests against a boat put distant memories into his head that he did not want to remember.
As a child the age of five, Jeff received a rocking horse. He was so overjoyed with his new toy but had no idea how to use it. The young boy would mount his wooden steed and push forward and back, causing it to sway. It was at the lowest point of the rocking that little Jeffrey would topple backward over the horse’s rear end and hit the ground hard. After ten consecutive tries, several bumps and bruises, and an agitated mood, tiny Jeffrey decided that rocking was dumb, and he would never like it again.
Present Jeff agreed with his inner child, and a billowing boat brought back these oblique memories.
“I need some fresh air,” Jeff said to himself and took to a standing position next to his bed. The door across the room seemed so far away, and the fact that the floor below him was slanting in different directions every few seconds was no help. He thought about taking the easy way out and just plopping back into bed, but he was starting to get sea sick. The young adult tip toed along the floorboards and to the door, clawing at the knob to push it open. He literally toppled forward into the hallway, hitting his head against the wall on the opposite side. No other human being would have this much trouble with the barely noticeable waves, but Jeff was no average person.
The teen made his way along the hall, noticing a dining cart parked just outside of a nearby passenger’s room.
“What looks good?” Jeff asked himself as he pried the metallic tops from the entrees.
"You there, boy! That is not for you, get away!" a funny looking man with a large mustache said coming around a corner at the end of the hallway. The man grabbed the cart and pushed Jeff away before trotting irritatingly off with the cart in front of him. Drool trickled down the teen’s lengthy face as his expected dinner rolled away.
"Humph, nice people here," Jeff yelled toward the man and then headed for the stairs behind him. He clumsily ascended the steps and opened the door at the top, striding onto the deck of the ferry and into the night air. It was a nice night with a light breeze blowing. The deck was lit up by the moon above. A few "night owls" were strolling along the banister and looking down at the ocean below. Jeff walked to the edge of the ferry and peered over, trying to determine what was so interesting. After a few moments of viewing stupid waves as they crashed against the ship’s underside, he turned to the nearest couple, a rich looking man and woman, the latter holding a pink umbrella.
“Why are you two looking down for so long? Waves are not interesting. They are stupid. If you really care to know, all I think of when I see them is a fat person undulating their belly rolls while smearing jelly-filled donuts onto their mouth. Nice thought, huh?” He riposted with an awkward smile. The couple gave him very unpleasant glances before ambling away.
"Hello there mate!" Jeff heard the familiar voice of Greg resonating behind him.
"Hey Greg," Jeff greeted the man with a monotonous voice that clearly demonstrated that he was annoyed. The sailor was way to friendly, and Jeff knew it was only because he found Amanda to be a piece of ***. It was so bothersome to see a twenty year old with scruffy brown hair sporting a stupid sailor hat gawking at his friend. This was the most bizarre instance ever. Jeff, the master of annoyance, found another human being irritating!
"So what brings you out here at this time of night mate?" Greg inquired trying to make conversation.
“Please don’t call me mate. It sounds like we’re in the process of making babies or having relations,” Jeff requested as he leaned on the railing of the ferry.
“You’re so peculiar,” Greg said placing his fingers against his fuzzy chin.
“That better not be a come on,” Jeff said with a threatening glance. “Anyways, if you really want to know, the only reason I am up here is because I am not tired.”
The teen was already bored of the sailor and wanted a chance to make his exit.
Greg didn‘t allow it. Instead, he placed his broad arms around the kid and smiled.
"Thought you wouldn't, seeing as how you slept as soon as you boarded,” he remarked.
“I swear to all that is holy, if you don’t remove that sweaty arm from my shoulders I will kill you where you stand!” Jeff shrieked with eyes as wide as the sea that they traveled on.
“Whatever mate,” Greg said backing off. “If you're bored though, we could always have a match at the ship’s battlefield."
FINALLY! Greg had made a request that Jeff found worthwhile. He had been itching for a battle ever since Oldale Town, and beating the hell out of Greg would give him all the satisfaction he needed in a lifetime.
“You’re on! Lead the way,” he answered. Greg nodded and escorted the teen to the stern of the ship where a large battle ring was spread out along the deck.
“Prepare to lose mate,” Jeff said with a smirk.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Team Steam was now pursuing the ferry in a small gray submarine. Bonnie saw the kid board the vessel and immediately sent for the sturdy vehicle from Aqua’s base of operations.
"It really pays to have an Aqua member with you! You'll never have to worry about sea transportation!" Clyde said with a grin. Bonnie shot him a look then turned back to the telescope that she was peering into.
"You do realize why we are following these kids, don't you?" she asked her counterpart. Clyde shook his head and gave a puzzled look.
"Something about a shrine and a boy…oh and there was a remark about me getting my butt into the sub before you cut it off and feed it to a Ursaring," Clyde commented. Bonnie sighed and placed her chin in her cupped hand. Archie had made it clear that he needed her on this assignment, but she was beginning to wonder if it was worth it.
The Aqua grunt began to twirl her blonde hair and thought back to simpler times before this whole ordeal.
She started out as a well-educated girl from Mossdeep City with a great love for the sea. She worked hard to earn a job at the local Space Museum, but was sadly shot down and overshadowed by a brunette with big…“ambitions.” Actually, the woman just had a really nice rack, but Bonnie was not about to make her own chest look less appealing by saying that was the reason she didn’t get the job.
She had looked frantically for a job her whole first summer out of college, but found nothing. It was then that she had a run-in with a small Team Aqua regiment, a secret organization that was scouting her city for the location of Kyogre. This massive Pokemon was described to her as whale-like and legendary, and was said to fill the world with water with each bellow of its mighty voice. With this in mind, Bonnie joined the ranks of Team Aqua hoping to aid in supplying the world with precious seas.
She was a grunt for years, until Archie, the short, bearded leader of Team Aqua approached her with a proposition. Her boss was a stubborn person, sporting all black daily and a blue bandana across his forehead. His dark eyes were always serious and seemed pained at times. He was a fickle man and very hard to read. He had told her that if she accomplished this task he would make her an executive. She was very intrigued, and instantly decided to hear her boss out.
(What follows is the exact conversation between Bonnie and Archie in her stay room at Aqua headquarters, filled with extreme detail that Bonnie remembered so vividly)
“My friend, it is an understatement to say that times have changed. As the leader of Team Aqua, I have ultimately chosen to end the feud that we share with Team Magma so that our teams can focus on a far more desirable motive. Recently, I have been approached by a person of great importance. With his concerns, it has become apparent that our team alone can no longer guarantee the success of our mission. But with him, we might have a chance,” Archie said and paused, waiting to hear a response from the grunt that he never met before this moment.
“This is remarkable news that you bring,” Bonnie had replied not knowing what else to say. Her boss nodded and turned to look out the window of her apartment.
“There is a rumor growing that speaks of a Pokemon from space more powerful than any alive, even Kyogre. My friend has stated that Team Aqua and Magma must join as one with his team in order to claim this being. He is our leader now, and he claims that if we harness the power of this Pokemon, the world would be ours to toy with; shape to our will. He had this Pokemon within his grasp years ago, but he was betrayed, and the person who turned on him sealed the powerful creature away,” Archie paused once more to catch his breath. “For years he searched for the spot that his top scientist had hidden the Pokemon, and discovered a shrine in the Hoenn Archipelago that holds the prodigy inside. However, it was sealed away and none of us are able to crack the lock. It has been discovered that only a person of this scientist’s bloodline can open the grip that was placed on the Pokemon.”
“And what do I have to do with this?” Bonnie inquired.
“You, my beautiful grunt, must team up with a Magma peon and find the betrayer’s son. Then you must lead him to the shrine in Traven City, the capitol of the Hoenn Archipelago. We will handle the rest,” Archie explained.
“And how will I know where to look?” Bonnie said standing up and pacing across the room.
“This is the boy you’re looking for,” Archie held up a blurry photo of a young teen with spiky black hair, the son of his master’s head scientist, the young Mike Strateri. “His last known residence was Bayside City. I will send you there to find him. If you succeed in this mission, you will be made a top executive in the new order. It is almost time, when this Pokemon is awakened we will be ready,” Archie grinned devilishly.
“For what?” Bonnie asked.
“It is of no concern to you yet,” Archie retorted. With that, he walked out of the room leaving Bonnie to take in the assignment that was given to her.
(end conversation)
Bonnie had met Clyde hours after that discussion and the two soon found themselves on the shores of Bayside City. They searched high and low for the young teen, but discovered that he had left for Hoenn after graduating from Pokemon Tech. They informed their leaders of this, and were told to head to Hoenn to find the punk kid that eluded them.
Her flashback ended and she came back to reality, looking around the sub and letting out a yawn. She knew she could've done this alone, but Archie had told her that Maxie, the red-headed leader of the former Team Magma, insisted that one of his grunts aid her in this mission. She didn't like it at first, but the grunt she was paired with wasn't too bad.
On their way to Hoenn they had held many conversations and discovered that they shared similar interests. The Magma grunt was actually a relief from the extreme dullness of Bonnie’s search. He even came up with the name Team Steam to describe the merger of the two.
As they tracked this Mike Strateri, Clyde would tell her stories of his earlier career in a different team; one called Team Rocket. He explained that they stole Pokemon from trainers and were handsomely rewarded for it. Bonnie was very intrigued by this, and after some time stealing Pokemon became an "on the side" hobby for them. She stopped reminiscing with herself at this and turned to her counterpart.
"This kid has to be the one," she stated. Clyde nodded in agreement but knew little of what she was referring to. He vaguely recalled Maxie’s explanation of his mission, but the rest of his thoughts were occupied by dancing bananas and random scantly clad women. Maxie was not a patient man, and it had been a job and a half to get Clyde to understand the importance of this ordeal. Everything about it sounded far fetched to Clyde, but he agreed without hesitation when the word “executive” was uttered.
“So what are you planning to do as an executive?” he then spoke up, his red hood scrunching at the neckline as he propped his head back.
“My friend, I will bring our little alliance to the top of the world,” Bonnie responded with a smirk…
~~~~~~~~~~~
On the back of the ship, Greg and Jeff had each taken their opposing sides on the battlefield. The moon lit up the arena like a spotlight. Jeff noticed some coiled ropes and wood that he could use as defenses in his match.
"Go Treecko!" the teen shouted as his Pokeball hit the deck and the small green gecko appeared.
"I choose you Seel!" Greg said. In a flash of red light a little white Pokemon formed. Its face resembled a pug and it had a tiny horn on the top of its head. This new Pokemon clapped and stuck its tongue out as it appeared.
"Nice Seel!" Jeff commented. "Treecko, use pound!" The Pokemon nodded and raced towards Seel.
"Seel, dodge and use head butt!" Greg commanded. Seel did as ordered, rolling elegantly out of the charging Treecko’s way with the grace of a swan. Treecko sailed by and stumbled to turn around when it was hit hard in the back by a pointy horn.
"Forgot to mention, I'm a Pokemon Contest buff. My Pokemon show off as they battle!" Greg remarked. Jeff sighed.
"Wow, well then it shouldn't be too hard to defeat them. Treecko, use absorb!" Jeff yelled. Greg shot Jeff a look, and then ordered Seel to dodge the new attack. Treecko stood its ground as a greenish ball of energy flew from its body and engulfed Seel. The white Pokemon cried out and slumped onto the deck, convulsing with pain as the foreign liquid ran through its torso and sapped away its needed energy. The ball then slipped out of the Pokemon and slithered back to Treecko, entering it and placing Seel’s energy inside to revitalize it.
"Not to shabby!" Greg said with a grin. "Seel, use aurora beam!" Seel's horn began to sparkle many colors and it shot off the attack. Treecko rolled to the side, trying to get behind the wooden planking, but its tail was caught in the attack and it was dragged back some ways.
"Did some damage, but not enough!" Jeff smirked. "Treecko, try a quick attack!" Treecko nodded and raced towards Seel.
"Seel, use surf!" Greg roared. The Pokemon clapped, then dove off the side of the ferry disappearing underneath the rolling waves with a splash.
"What the hell, you Pokemon just committed suicide!" Jeff screamed in disbelief. Suddenly, Seel poked its head from the water and grinned. The ocean below it began to rise, growing up to the deck of the ship in a matter of seconds.
"Guess it's back from the dead!" Greg retorted. The large wave of sea water splashed onto the deck and slammed into Treecko, sending it sprawling to the ground.
"Now Seel, use ice beam!" Greg commanded.
“Seel Seel!” the Pokemon clapped as a frosty white beam formed at the tip of its horn. The shaft of cold energy flew across the field and hit Treecko hard, enveloping its whole body in an artic wind. The gecko’s temperature began to drop rapidly, and it didn’t help that the creature was cold blooded. The beam dispersed and Treecko stumbled before toppling forward and smashing its chin on the deck. It didn’t move a muscle.
"Treecko return!" Jeff yelled recalling the Pokemon. It was hard to see his new Pokemon lose to Greg’s, but he wasn’t going to end it this way. "Seedot, get in there!" he yelled as his playful little acorn emerged on deck. It jumped a few times and then began rolling around.
"Ha, this should be easy." Greg said confidently. "Seel, destroy it with an ice beam!" Seel nodded and released the glistening beam of ice towards Seedot.
"Seedot, dodge and use razor leaf!" Jeff shouted. Seedot jumped up as the attack hit the ground below it, covering it in a bed of ice. The Pokemon landed slipping wildly around. It quickly regained its footing and released the barrage of leaves. Seel dodged a few, but was blown back by the last bunch. Seedot jumped happily and began to roll around on the ice as the opposing Pokemon flopped unconscious on the deck .
"Seel return!" Greg shouted. "Go Lotad!" The new Pokemon formed on the deck and made a tiny spout to show off. It was a small blue…thing with a lily pad on its back and a big yellow beak. It resembled a bug-like duck.
"Seedot, razor leaf again!" Jeff shouted. The acorn let out the barrage of leaves towards the Lotad.
"Lotad, use mist!" Greg countered. The deck was soon shrouded in a fog, and Jeff couldn't tell where Lotad had gone to.
"Lotad, use astonish!" Greg shouted. The Pokemon leapt from the fog and battered Seedot, sending it flying in a scared frenzy from the surprising attack. Lotad then retreated back into the fog.
"This is dumb and unfair. Seedot, you better use harden," Jeff commented like a spoiled child while trying to see Greg’s stupid face through the thick smoke of the field. Seedot's coat glistened and it placed its footing, ready to take on another attack.
"Astonish again!" Greg shouted through the mist. Lotad leapt from the mist again and battered Seedot. It then retreated in the same manner. The tiny acorn didn’t budge much this time.
“We have to get it out of there!" Jeff panicked. "Seedot use bullet seed!" Seedot jumped happily and a storm of seeds began pouring into the mist. Greg dodged as the seeds pushed through the fog and landed near him. He began to worry as Lotad would have trouble dodging the pellets in the safety of its mist.
He was right to worry. His tiny duck Pokemon was freaking out inside its own fog trying to dodge the unseen seeds as they paraded through its fortress of mist. After a few moments, it leapt from the fog in a desperate attempt to see the items it was dodging.
"While it's out, use razor leaf!" Jeff commanded. Seedot released the attack and it bombarded Lotad. The tiny duck fell back and slowly got up.
“Water gun!” Greg ordered. His Pokemon sent a stream of water toward Seedot, but with its tiring spirit the water was too slow. Seedot simply spun like a top to dodge and then rolled straight into Lotad, sending the Pokemon tumbling backward with a dizzy expression. It didn’t move.
"Lotad return!" Greg said with a sigh. The Pokeball in his hand sent out a flash of red light and Lotad disappeared from the deck. The sun was now starting to appear over the horizon and the moon was nowhere to be seen.
"Tough match kid," Greg said to Jeff and placed out his hand for a handshake. Jeff nodded and petted Seedot, showing no signs of shaking the sweaty man’s hand. The Pokemon continued to spin like a top.
"Finally showing affection to your Pokemon Jeff?" the teen heard his friend Mike say. He turned to see the black-haired boy appear from the shadows of the deck. Taillow sat on his shoulder pecking away at his head.
"Uh, no!" Jeff said nervously and pushed Seedot over.
The ferry was now pulling into the harbor of the first island in the Hoenn Archipelago.
"According to the map, this is Burgundy City, the heart of Akbar Isle, right where Mr. Alabaster said we would start at," Amanda remarked joining her friends.
"Is there a gym here?" Mike asked taking another peck to the head from the tiny swallow. Amanda checked the map, looking intently at the legend and back to Burgundy City.
"Yep, and it looks like it’s a ground type trainer," she replied.
"Great, we'll head there then!" Mike suggested. There was no objections from his friends. Mike smiled excitedly. His first gym battle was soon to come…
Next Chapter- Chapter 8: Accused of Cheating! Jeff's Special Seedot!
Mike and co are on the way to the gym, but Jeff stops to battle a trainer. When the kid sees his Seedot using razor leaf, he accuses Jeff of cheating. How does Seedot know an attack is shouldn't? Find out in the next episode.
Chapter 7: The Road to the Hoenn Archipelago! Intentions Revealed!
Jeff awoke during the twilight hours of the night with a raging headache. It was still dark outside; the encompassing moon above sending light through their stay room’s porthole window. Shadows reflected against the opposing wall taking odd shapes. Jeff got the feeling that he was up this early partly because he had slipped into the dream world at six in the afternoon the day before. His hair was standing in all directions due to the plump pillow that came with the bed. His eyes were droopy and he began to rub them, trying hard to become completely coherent.
The teen slowly sat up pushing his covers down toward his feet. He noticed that Mike and Amanda were still fast asleep in the beds that ran parallel to his on each side. The ferry was rocking lightly and Jeff remembered how much he hated the sea. The rolling motion of the ocean crests against a boat put distant memories into his head that he did not want to remember.
As a child the age of five, Jeff received a rocking horse. He was so overjoyed with his new toy but had no idea how to use it. The young boy would mount his wooden steed and push forward and back, causing it to sway. It was at the lowest point of the rocking that little Jeffrey would topple backward over the horse’s rear end and hit the ground hard. After ten consecutive tries, several bumps and bruises, and an agitated mood, tiny Jeffrey decided that rocking was dumb, and he would never like it again.
Present Jeff agreed with his inner child, and a billowing boat brought back these oblique memories.
“I need some fresh air,” Jeff said to himself and took to a standing position next to his bed. The door across the room seemed so far away, and the fact that the floor below him was slanting in different directions every few seconds was no help. He thought about taking the easy way out and just plopping back into bed, but he was starting to get sea sick. The young adult tip toed along the floorboards and to the door, clawing at the knob to push it open. He literally toppled forward into the hallway, hitting his head against the wall on the opposite side. No other human being would have this much trouble with the barely noticeable waves, but Jeff was no average person.
The teen made his way along the hall, noticing a dining cart parked just outside of a nearby passenger’s room.
“What looks good?” Jeff asked himself as he pried the metallic tops from the entrees.
"You there, boy! That is not for you, get away!" a funny looking man with a large mustache said coming around a corner at the end of the hallway. The man grabbed the cart and pushed Jeff away before trotting irritatingly off with the cart in front of him. Drool trickled down the teen’s lengthy face as his expected dinner rolled away.
"Humph, nice people here," Jeff yelled toward the man and then headed for the stairs behind him. He clumsily ascended the steps and opened the door at the top, striding onto the deck of the ferry and into the night air. It was a nice night with a light breeze blowing. The deck was lit up by the moon above. A few "night owls" were strolling along the banister and looking down at the ocean below. Jeff walked to the edge of the ferry and peered over, trying to determine what was so interesting. After a few moments of viewing stupid waves as they crashed against the ship’s underside, he turned to the nearest couple, a rich looking man and woman, the latter holding a pink umbrella.
“Why are you two looking down for so long? Waves are not interesting. They are stupid. If you really care to know, all I think of when I see them is a fat person undulating their belly rolls while smearing jelly-filled donuts onto their mouth. Nice thought, huh?” He riposted with an awkward smile. The couple gave him very unpleasant glances before ambling away.
"Hello there mate!" Jeff heard the familiar voice of Greg resonating behind him.
"Hey Greg," Jeff greeted the man with a monotonous voice that clearly demonstrated that he was annoyed. The sailor was way to friendly, and Jeff knew it was only because he found Amanda to be a piece of ***. It was so bothersome to see a twenty year old with scruffy brown hair sporting a stupid sailor hat gawking at his friend. This was the most bizarre instance ever. Jeff, the master of annoyance, found another human being irritating!
"So what brings you out here at this time of night mate?" Greg inquired trying to make conversation.
“Please don’t call me mate. It sounds like we’re in the process of making babies or having relations,” Jeff requested as he leaned on the railing of the ferry.
“You’re so peculiar,” Greg said placing his fingers against his fuzzy chin.
“That better not be a come on,” Jeff said with a threatening glance. “Anyways, if you really want to know, the only reason I am up here is because I am not tired.”
The teen was already bored of the sailor and wanted a chance to make his exit.
Greg didn‘t allow it. Instead, he placed his broad arms around the kid and smiled.
"Thought you wouldn't, seeing as how you slept as soon as you boarded,” he remarked.
“I swear to all that is holy, if you don’t remove that sweaty arm from my shoulders I will kill you where you stand!” Jeff shrieked with eyes as wide as the sea that they traveled on.
“Whatever mate,” Greg said backing off. “If you're bored though, we could always have a match at the ship’s battlefield."
FINALLY! Greg had made a request that Jeff found worthwhile. He had been itching for a battle ever since Oldale Town, and beating the hell out of Greg would give him all the satisfaction he needed in a lifetime.
“You’re on! Lead the way,” he answered. Greg nodded and escorted the teen to the stern of the ship where a large battle ring was spread out along the deck.
“Prepare to lose mate,” Jeff said with a smirk.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Team Steam was now pursuing the ferry in a small gray submarine. Bonnie saw the kid board the vessel and immediately sent for the sturdy vehicle from Aqua’s base of operations.
"It really pays to have an Aqua member with you! You'll never have to worry about sea transportation!" Clyde said with a grin. Bonnie shot him a look then turned back to the telescope that she was peering into.
"You do realize why we are following these kids, don't you?" she asked her counterpart. Clyde shook his head and gave a puzzled look.
"Something about a shrine and a boy…oh and there was a remark about me getting my butt into the sub before you cut it off and feed it to a Ursaring," Clyde commented. Bonnie sighed and placed her chin in her cupped hand. Archie had made it clear that he needed her on this assignment, but she was beginning to wonder if it was worth it.
The Aqua grunt began to twirl her blonde hair and thought back to simpler times before this whole ordeal.
She started out as a well-educated girl from Mossdeep City with a great love for the sea. She worked hard to earn a job at the local Space Museum, but was sadly shot down and overshadowed by a brunette with big…“ambitions.” Actually, the woman just had a really nice rack, but Bonnie was not about to make her own chest look less appealing by saying that was the reason she didn’t get the job.
She had looked frantically for a job her whole first summer out of college, but found nothing. It was then that she had a run-in with a small Team Aqua regiment, a secret organization that was scouting her city for the location of Kyogre. This massive Pokemon was described to her as whale-like and legendary, and was said to fill the world with water with each bellow of its mighty voice. With this in mind, Bonnie joined the ranks of Team Aqua hoping to aid in supplying the world with precious seas.
She was a grunt for years, until Archie, the short, bearded leader of Team Aqua approached her with a proposition. Her boss was a stubborn person, sporting all black daily and a blue bandana across his forehead. His dark eyes were always serious and seemed pained at times. He was a fickle man and very hard to read. He had told her that if she accomplished this task he would make her an executive. She was very intrigued, and instantly decided to hear her boss out.
(What follows is the exact conversation between Bonnie and Archie in her stay room at Aqua headquarters, filled with extreme detail that Bonnie remembered so vividly)
“My friend, it is an understatement to say that times have changed. As the leader of Team Aqua, I have ultimately chosen to end the feud that we share with Team Magma so that our teams can focus on a far more desirable motive. Recently, I have been approached by a person of great importance. With his concerns, it has become apparent that our team alone can no longer guarantee the success of our mission. But with him, we might have a chance,” Archie said and paused, waiting to hear a response from the grunt that he never met before this moment.
“This is remarkable news that you bring,” Bonnie had replied not knowing what else to say. Her boss nodded and turned to look out the window of her apartment.
“There is a rumor growing that speaks of a Pokemon from space more powerful than any alive, even Kyogre. My friend has stated that Team Aqua and Magma must join as one with his team in order to claim this being. He is our leader now, and he claims that if we harness the power of this Pokemon, the world would be ours to toy with; shape to our will. He had this Pokemon within his grasp years ago, but he was betrayed, and the person who turned on him sealed the powerful creature away,” Archie paused once more to catch his breath. “For years he searched for the spot that his top scientist had hidden the Pokemon, and discovered a shrine in the Hoenn Archipelago that holds the prodigy inside. However, it was sealed away and none of us are able to crack the lock. It has been discovered that only a person of this scientist’s bloodline can open the grip that was placed on the Pokemon.”
“And what do I have to do with this?” Bonnie inquired.
“You, my beautiful grunt, must team up with a Magma peon and find the betrayer’s son. Then you must lead him to the shrine in Traven City, the capitol of the Hoenn Archipelago. We will handle the rest,” Archie explained.
“And how will I know where to look?” Bonnie said standing up and pacing across the room.
“This is the boy you’re looking for,” Archie held up a blurry photo of a young teen with spiky black hair, the son of his master’s head scientist, the young Mike Strateri. “His last known residence was Bayside City. I will send you there to find him. If you succeed in this mission, you will be made a top executive in the new order. It is almost time, when this Pokemon is awakened we will be ready,” Archie grinned devilishly.
“For what?” Bonnie asked.
“It is of no concern to you yet,” Archie retorted. With that, he walked out of the room leaving Bonnie to take in the assignment that was given to her.
(end conversation)
Bonnie had met Clyde hours after that discussion and the two soon found themselves on the shores of Bayside City. They searched high and low for the young teen, but discovered that he had left for Hoenn after graduating from Pokemon Tech. They informed their leaders of this, and were told to head to Hoenn to find the punk kid that eluded them.
Her flashback ended and she came back to reality, looking around the sub and letting out a yawn. She knew she could've done this alone, but Archie had told her that Maxie, the red-headed leader of the former Team Magma, insisted that one of his grunts aid her in this mission. She didn't like it at first, but the grunt she was paired with wasn't too bad.
On their way to Hoenn they had held many conversations and discovered that they shared similar interests. The Magma grunt was actually a relief from the extreme dullness of Bonnie’s search. He even came up with the name Team Steam to describe the merger of the two.
As they tracked this Mike Strateri, Clyde would tell her stories of his earlier career in a different team; one called Team Rocket. He explained that they stole Pokemon from trainers and were handsomely rewarded for it. Bonnie was very intrigued by this, and after some time stealing Pokemon became an "on the side" hobby for them. She stopped reminiscing with herself at this and turned to her counterpart.
"This kid has to be the one," she stated. Clyde nodded in agreement but knew little of what she was referring to. He vaguely recalled Maxie’s explanation of his mission, but the rest of his thoughts were occupied by dancing bananas and random scantly clad women. Maxie was not a patient man, and it had been a job and a half to get Clyde to understand the importance of this ordeal. Everything about it sounded far fetched to Clyde, but he agreed without hesitation when the word “executive” was uttered.
“So what are you planning to do as an executive?” he then spoke up, his red hood scrunching at the neckline as he propped his head back.
“My friend, I will bring our little alliance to the top of the world,” Bonnie responded with a smirk…
~~~~~~~~~~~
On the back of the ship, Greg and Jeff had each taken their opposing sides on the battlefield. The moon lit up the arena like a spotlight. Jeff noticed some coiled ropes and wood that he could use as defenses in his match.
"Go Treecko!" the teen shouted as his Pokeball hit the deck and the small green gecko appeared.
"I choose you Seel!" Greg said. In a flash of red light a little white Pokemon formed. Its face resembled a pug and it had a tiny horn on the top of its head. This new Pokemon clapped and stuck its tongue out as it appeared.
"Nice Seel!" Jeff commented. "Treecko, use pound!" The Pokemon nodded and raced towards Seel.
"Seel, dodge and use head butt!" Greg commanded. Seel did as ordered, rolling elegantly out of the charging Treecko’s way with the grace of a swan. Treecko sailed by and stumbled to turn around when it was hit hard in the back by a pointy horn.
"Forgot to mention, I'm a Pokemon Contest buff. My Pokemon show off as they battle!" Greg remarked. Jeff sighed.
"Wow, well then it shouldn't be too hard to defeat them. Treecko, use absorb!" Jeff yelled. Greg shot Jeff a look, and then ordered Seel to dodge the new attack. Treecko stood its ground as a greenish ball of energy flew from its body and engulfed Seel. The white Pokemon cried out and slumped onto the deck, convulsing with pain as the foreign liquid ran through its torso and sapped away its needed energy. The ball then slipped out of the Pokemon and slithered back to Treecko, entering it and placing Seel’s energy inside to revitalize it.
"Not to shabby!" Greg said with a grin. "Seel, use aurora beam!" Seel's horn began to sparkle many colors and it shot off the attack. Treecko rolled to the side, trying to get behind the wooden planking, but its tail was caught in the attack and it was dragged back some ways.
"Did some damage, but not enough!" Jeff smirked. "Treecko, try a quick attack!" Treecko nodded and raced towards Seel.
"Seel, use surf!" Greg roared. The Pokemon clapped, then dove off the side of the ferry disappearing underneath the rolling waves with a splash.
"What the hell, you Pokemon just committed suicide!" Jeff screamed in disbelief. Suddenly, Seel poked its head from the water and grinned. The ocean below it began to rise, growing up to the deck of the ship in a matter of seconds.
"Guess it's back from the dead!" Greg retorted. The large wave of sea water splashed onto the deck and slammed into Treecko, sending it sprawling to the ground.
"Now Seel, use ice beam!" Greg commanded.
“Seel Seel!” the Pokemon clapped as a frosty white beam formed at the tip of its horn. The shaft of cold energy flew across the field and hit Treecko hard, enveloping its whole body in an artic wind. The gecko’s temperature began to drop rapidly, and it didn’t help that the creature was cold blooded. The beam dispersed and Treecko stumbled before toppling forward and smashing its chin on the deck. It didn’t move a muscle.
"Treecko return!" Jeff yelled recalling the Pokemon. It was hard to see his new Pokemon lose to Greg’s, but he wasn’t going to end it this way. "Seedot, get in there!" he yelled as his playful little acorn emerged on deck. It jumped a few times and then began rolling around.
"Ha, this should be easy." Greg said confidently. "Seel, destroy it with an ice beam!" Seel nodded and released the glistening beam of ice towards Seedot.
"Seedot, dodge and use razor leaf!" Jeff shouted. Seedot jumped up as the attack hit the ground below it, covering it in a bed of ice. The Pokemon landed slipping wildly around. It quickly regained its footing and released the barrage of leaves. Seel dodged a few, but was blown back by the last bunch. Seedot jumped happily and began to roll around on the ice as the opposing Pokemon flopped unconscious on the deck .
"Seel return!" Greg shouted. "Go Lotad!" The new Pokemon formed on the deck and made a tiny spout to show off. It was a small blue…thing with a lily pad on its back and a big yellow beak. It resembled a bug-like duck.
"Seedot, razor leaf again!" Jeff shouted. The acorn let out the barrage of leaves towards the Lotad.
"Lotad, use mist!" Greg countered. The deck was soon shrouded in a fog, and Jeff couldn't tell where Lotad had gone to.
"Lotad, use astonish!" Greg shouted. The Pokemon leapt from the fog and battered Seedot, sending it flying in a scared frenzy from the surprising attack. Lotad then retreated back into the fog.
"This is dumb and unfair. Seedot, you better use harden," Jeff commented like a spoiled child while trying to see Greg’s stupid face through the thick smoke of the field. Seedot's coat glistened and it placed its footing, ready to take on another attack.
"Astonish again!" Greg shouted through the mist. Lotad leapt from the mist again and battered Seedot. It then retreated in the same manner. The tiny acorn didn’t budge much this time.
“We have to get it out of there!" Jeff panicked. "Seedot use bullet seed!" Seedot jumped happily and a storm of seeds began pouring into the mist. Greg dodged as the seeds pushed through the fog and landed near him. He began to worry as Lotad would have trouble dodging the pellets in the safety of its mist.
He was right to worry. His tiny duck Pokemon was freaking out inside its own fog trying to dodge the unseen seeds as they paraded through its fortress of mist. After a few moments, it leapt from the fog in a desperate attempt to see the items it was dodging.
"While it's out, use razor leaf!" Jeff commanded. Seedot released the attack and it bombarded Lotad. The tiny duck fell back and slowly got up.
“Water gun!” Greg ordered. His Pokemon sent a stream of water toward Seedot, but with its tiring spirit the water was too slow. Seedot simply spun like a top to dodge and then rolled straight into Lotad, sending the Pokemon tumbling backward with a dizzy expression. It didn’t move.
"Lotad return!" Greg said with a sigh. The Pokeball in his hand sent out a flash of red light and Lotad disappeared from the deck. The sun was now starting to appear over the horizon and the moon was nowhere to be seen.
"Tough match kid," Greg said to Jeff and placed out his hand for a handshake. Jeff nodded and petted Seedot, showing no signs of shaking the sweaty man’s hand. The Pokemon continued to spin like a top.
"Finally showing affection to your Pokemon Jeff?" the teen heard his friend Mike say. He turned to see the black-haired boy appear from the shadows of the deck. Taillow sat on his shoulder pecking away at his head.
"Uh, no!" Jeff said nervously and pushed Seedot over.
The ferry was now pulling into the harbor of the first island in the Hoenn Archipelago.
"According to the map, this is Burgundy City, the heart of Akbar Isle, right where Mr. Alabaster said we would start at," Amanda remarked joining her friends.
"Is there a gym here?" Mike asked taking another peck to the head from the tiny swallow. Amanda checked the map, looking intently at the legend and back to Burgundy City.
"Yep, and it looks like it’s a ground type trainer," she replied.
"Great, we'll head there then!" Mike suggested. There was no objections from his friends. Mike smiled excitedly. His first gym battle was soon to come…
Next Chapter- Chapter 8: Accused of Cheating! Jeff's Special Seedot!
Mike and co are on the way to the gym, but Jeff stops to battle a trainer. When the kid sees his Seedot using razor leaf, he accuses Jeff of cheating. How does Seedot know an attack is shouldn't? Find out in the next episode.
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DANdotW
Previously Iota
Great chapter again. I love the battle between Jeff and Greg, it was awesome. I'm really enjoying this and am glad it is back, which is what I always say so...meh! Battles seem to be the only thing that interest me at then moment, probaly because I'm writing the Tournament Chronicles, but it's wired. Keep writing,
HG
HG
Sike Saner
Peace to the Mountain
Ah, sorry I couldn't be here last time...Oh, but that just means I get to comment on two chapters instead of one!
Regarding Chapter 6:
Yeah, I refuse to walk underneath birds.
Yep, time to throw the ol' shoe at our friend Jeff...
I will tell you this: Bonnie on fire was a great idea. Feel free to torch her anytime you please.
Regarding Chapter 7:
Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" had been stuck in my head until recently. And then I read that...
Excellent (not to mention very funny) third-person skills there, coloring the narration with Jeff's perspective. "Greg's stupid face", indeed.
I liked the background info on Team Steam, too.
Team Steam...Just so you know, in choosing that name, you've caused me to hear Peter Gabriel every time Bonnie and Clyde appear.
I look forward to the next chapter!
Regarding Chapter 6:
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Yeah, I refuse to walk underneath birds.
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Yep, time to throw the ol' shoe at our friend Jeff...
I will tell you this: Bonnie on fire was a great idea. Feel free to torch her anytime you please.
Regarding Chapter 7:
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" had been stuck in my head until recently. And then I read that...
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Excellent (not to mention very funny) third-person skills there, coloring the narration with Jeff's perspective. "Greg's stupid face", indeed.
I liked the background info on Team Steam, too.
Team Steam...Just so you know, in choosing that name, you've caused me to hear Peter Gabriel every time Bonnie and Clyde appear.
I look forward to the next chapter!
I solemnly promise to never review your fic after proofreading my own GN77
Ill wait at least one hour in between so I get out of grammar checking modeAnd also I dont really think of Mike as a girly man in the way your thinking, its just what I call guys who are obsessed with their appearance and/or weight (including myself
). I dont really think their girly in anyway; be sure to tell Mike I said that!Anyway, heres chapter sevens review WITH NO GRAMMAR CORRECTIONS!!!
Qoute Feedback
Looks like Jeff was a moron even as little Jeffrey. Man, I can hardly imagine him being a little kid.
So Jeff found himself a rival in annoyance
The Sailor Greg reminds me of a Greg in my fic whose twice as flirty.LOL. This and the whole mating business is just too hilarious. I wonder if Jeff calling the dude "mate" is a sign of AnnoyingShipping....(*sigh* Im not good with shipping, okay?)
BEST...DESCRIPTION...EVER
OKay, now that that's over its tiem for the real review. This chapter was clearly a Jeff centered one. To be honest I thought it could have used more humor and charachter development since it was a Jeff Centric chapter, but you put way more than enough of your share of humor and I suppose its kinda early for any major charachter developments. We also learned more about Team Steam's plans, im wondering if the pokemon in Rayquaza. The battle was pretty good, I liked the way Lotad hid in the mists and attacked from there. I was kinda expecting some funny comments from Jeff, but it seems he turns pretty serious when battling (unless, I forgot some lines,which I tend to do with my short term memory loss). I have a question, was it Greg who owned the Seel in the original version? Also, did they arrive in the city at the middle of the night? Hmm, it seems kind of early for a gym match but then again they did train their original pokes for a month at the center. Bleh, sorry this is such a sucky review, but Im still exhausted from yesterdays one. You're doing an excellent job, keep it up! I have to praise your style of writing, because it is so wonderful! It draws the reader in and keeps them in with its good qualities.
GoldenNoctowl77
Back in Business!
Hunting Gaurd- Yep, I tried to beef up the original version's battle and I think it came out well. Battles are fun to describe Thanks for reviewing.
P-Arts- Hey, thanks for becoming a consistant reader Yeah, there was a lot of exclamation points in this chapter but that's mostly because it was a battle. Battles usually involve loud shouting and such. Thanks again for reading
Sike Saner- Yep, you got to review two chapters with a lot of new humor. Thanks for keeping on the ball and I look forward to you next review.
IceKing- Ha, a reivew without pointing out grammar mistakes, it's a thing unheard of. Just kidding, while it's nice, I would have liked to have seen a bit of things pointed out to see how I improved, or didn't Yeah, Jeff's a pretty serious battler but in future chapters he gets less and less serious when battling. Yep, Greg owned the Seel in the original chapter, and as for arriving at night...
It was early morning when they arrived in both versions
And the next chapter isn't a gym battle. The next one is a big focus on Jeff, more than this one, with A LOT of humor and some character development as well.
Thanks for the reviews guys. The next chapter might be up late tonight.
Thanks for reviewing.P-Arts- Hey, thanks for becoming a consistant reader
Yeah, there was a lot of exclamation points in this chapter but that's mostly because it was a battle. Battles usually involve loud shouting and such. Thanks again for reading Sike Saner- Yep, you got to review two chapters with a lot of new humor. Thanks for keeping on the ball and I look forward to you next review.
IceKing- Ha, a reivew without pointing out grammar mistakes, it's a thing unheard of
. Just kidding, while it's nice, I would have liked to have seen a bit of things pointed out to see how I improved, or didn't Yeah, Jeff's a pretty serious battler but in future chapters he gets less and less serious when battling. Yep, Greg owned the Seel in the original chapter, and as for arriving at night...It was early morning when they arrived in both versions
And the next chapter isn't a gym battle. The next one is a big focus on Jeff, more than this one, with A LOT of humor and some character development as well.
Thanks for the reviews guys. The next chapter might be up late tonight.
indigestible_wad
Well-Known Member
Plotty goodness! Well, not really, it only gave away so much. T'was a good chappy. But Jeff didn't have too much humor this time. We can also derive from this that he doesn't like people he doesn't know.
T
Twilight Absol
Guest
sorry for not reviewing, i was busy on nb...
Very nice couple of chapters, the humor is great, and even though there's a few mistakes, nothing to freak out at. Jeff is practically running the show even though Mike is the main character. I would like to point out that Bonnie and CLyde are kind of getting repetitive, they are almost straightforward annoying like James and Jesse....
Very nice couple of chapters, the humor is great, and even though there's a few mistakes, nothing to freak out at. Jeff is practically running the show even though Mike is the main character. I would like to point out that Bonnie and CLyde are kind of getting repetitive, they are almost straightforward annoying like James and Jesse....
J
jirachiman876
Guest
*gasps* Well I finally got to your request and I must say that jeff is rivaling greg from Whirl Island Quest. Anyway, great fic you've got here. The first couple of chapters except for the POkemon Tech was unoriginal but hey you made it your own with they way you described it all and stuff like that. NOw that's three people I know that have three friends (two guys and a girl) traveling together. Me IceKing and you. I found many mistakes in my excursion through the chapters but I never point them out if there is more than one page. Sorry about that. There was one thing that bugged the crap out of me. You used advise when you meant advice. I must now lecture on the difference.
Advise to a verb and is used when you are either reciving advice or giving advice. ie I advise you to use a little more description in same battles.
Advice is a noun that is used...as a noun. ie My advice is to put feeling into the Pokemon as they are abttling, tell me what they are feeling when they are getting hit.
Also, something that I'm now using, put in a little blood and stuff like that. Like if someone gets hit by a razor leaf, won't they get sliced by the sharp edges. What happens when you get a cut??? You bleed. You don't need to put a lot of blood but just a little. Heh you don't have to do that at all really, it's just a suggestion.
Well i hope to see more funnyness from greg and the stuff i mentioned in my examples. Yes they had a suggestion in each of them.
jirachiman out ;385;
PS: now waiting for your review. You really don't have to if you don't want to but hey, it's a good fic I think.
Advise to a verb and is used when you are either reciving advice or giving advice. ie I advise you to use a little more description in same battles.
Advice is a noun that is used...as a noun. ie My advice is to put feeling into the Pokemon as they are abttling, tell me what they are feeling when they are getting hit.
Also, something that I'm now using, put in a little blood and stuff like that. Like if someone gets hit by a razor leaf, won't they get sliced by the sharp edges. What happens when you get a cut??? You bleed. You don't need to put a lot of blood but just a little. Heh you don't have to do that at all really, it's just a suggestion.
Well i hope to see more funnyness from greg and the stuff i mentioned in my examples. Yes they had a suggestion in each of them.
jirachiman out ;385;
PS: now waiting for your review. You really don't have to if you don't want to but hey, it's a good fic I think.
GoldenNoctowl77
Back in Business!
indigestable_wad- Yeah, I tried my best to get some of the plotline out without overly spoiling anything. If I gave anymore away then it would lose impact, and future chapters do enlighten the plot further. Thanks for the review, and expect a lot of Jeff humor in the next chapter.
Twilight Absol- Thanks for the review. Yep, I never expected Jeff to be this popular but he like owns the fic now. But you'll see that change when I started posting actual new chapters instead of rewrites. The humor starts to turn into very heart-hitting drama and Mike retakes the stage. There will still be a lot of humor, just not enough to call this a comedy fic.
jirachiman876- Thanks for finally getting to my fic. I think the advice advise thing was just a spelling error as I am perfectly aware of the difference. As for blood, I don't see that as a necesity in my fic. It's mature in a way, but I don't want to make it over the top. And yeah, you hope to see more funniness from Jeff, this is not Whirl Island Quest. I'll get around to your fic soon, but I have a lot of requests at the moment.
Lucent Latias- Another faithful reader and I'm glad to see you got your old computer back. Yep, Jeff is a very funny guy and I hope you like him even more in future chapters. Thanks for reviewing!
Twilight Absol- Thanks for the review. Yep, I never expected Jeff to be this popular but he like owns the fic now. But you'll see that change when I started posting actual new chapters instead of rewrites. The humor starts to turn into very heart-hitting drama and Mike retakes the stage. There will still be a lot of humor, just not enough to call this a comedy fic.
jirachiman876- Thanks for finally getting to my fic. I think the advice advise thing was just a spelling error as I am perfectly aware of the difference. As for blood, I don't see that as a necesity in my fic. It's mature in a way, but I don't want to make it over the top. And yeah, you hope to see more funniness from Jeff, this is not Whirl Island Quest
. I'll get around to your fic soon, but I have a lot of requests at the moment.Lucent Latias- Another faithful reader and I'm glad to see you got your old computer back. Yep, Jeff is a very funny guy and I hope you like him even more in future chapters. Thanks for reviewing!
J
Joe-y
Guest
*In a southern lady accent* Why I do believe you done gone made a fool of yourself! Sayin somethin like,
"The only reason this fic isn't torn apart like you did for me by myself is because it is just that, a fan fiction. I am not gaining anything by writing it except personal enjoyment."
Is just plain silly, and you done gone made the lord cry. Why everyone knows writing anything down helps improve ones hand eye coordi- coordi? That thing we use to make things look down right pretty.
/Southern Lady voice
Actually, saying you gain nothing from this is silly, your skill as a writer is still increasing from writing. You could just write the word 'personification' over and over and your typing (or writing) ability would increase. And proof reading is something you must PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. It is one of the most essential skills a writer can ever have.
Enough with that, onto the review
Your scentence flow is sometimes disrupted by an occasional bad word, or something misplaced or not needed. Instead of more words to describe something, use better words to describe everything.
Chapter 1 - Was by far the lowest point, it had cliched scentences, and a lack of love =(
You've already been told of grammatical errors.
Chapter 2 - MUCH better than the first.
After chapter 2, things began to get progressively better. Each chapter was better then the one before it.
Your action sequences aren't bad, but they could use some working on. And MY GOD MAN! YOU BROKE THE 4TH WALL! EXISTENCE AS WE KNOW IT IS OVER! (Kudos to those who know what the 4th wall is)
You've had a few good moments of description, nice.
Aside from the first chapter, your story is fun to read, and enticing, although I wouldn't mind seeing jack knocked down a few pegs. Try having someone confuse him for an actual nosepass, or have a group of nosepass think he's a nosepass. ...God I hate you nosepass, you're the worst idea for a pokemon ever.
"The only reason this fic isn't torn apart like you did for me by myself is because it is just that, a fan fiction. I am not gaining anything by writing it except personal enjoyment."
Is just plain silly, and you done gone made the lord cry. Why everyone knows writing anything down helps improve ones hand eye coordi- coordi? That thing we use to make things look down right pretty.
/Southern Lady voice
Actually, saying you gain nothing from this is silly, your skill as a writer is still increasing from writing. You could just write the word 'personification' over and over and your typing (or writing) ability would increase. And proof reading is something you must PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. It is one of the most essential skills a writer can ever have.
Enough with that, onto the review
Your scentence flow is sometimes disrupted by an occasional bad word, or something misplaced or not needed. Instead of more words to describe something, use better words to describe everything.
Chapter 1 - Was by far the lowest point, it had cliched scentences, and a lack of love =(
You've already been told of grammatical errors.
Chapter 2 - MUCH better than the first.
After chapter 2, things began to get progressively better. Each chapter was better then the one before it.
Your action sequences aren't bad, but they could use some working on. And MY GOD MAN! YOU BROKE THE 4TH WALL! EXISTENCE AS WE KNOW IT IS OVER! (Kudos to those who know what the 4th wall is)
You've had a few good moments of description, nice.
Aside from the first chapter, your story is fun to read, and enticing, although I wouldn't mind seeing jack knocked down a few pegs. Try having someone confuse him for an actual nosepass, or have a group of nosepass think he's a nosepass. ...God I hate you nosepass, you're the worst idea for a pokemon ever.
GoldenNoctowl77
Back in Business!
Chapter 8: Accused of Cheating! Jeff's Special Seedot!
Hey, here's the eighth remake chapter coming to you from my new laptop. I didn't have as much time to edit this one as the others but I thought it was good enough to release, just keep in mind that there may be a little bit of grammatical errors and such until I get around to proofreading it fully. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Accused of Cheating! Jeff's Special Seedot!
The large red and black ferry was now docked in the Burgundy City harbor. It was very early morning and the sun had just appeared over the horizon, giving the skyline of the city a reddish hue. The boarding ramp lowered onto the docks to allow the passengers to get off the vessel. Greg led his new friends down it and onto the busy pier. Assorted sailors and merchants were already setting up shops and preparing for a day’s work. Fisherman hoisted their anchors from the sea and began to speed away from the harbor, their boat’s creating tiny wakes as they disappeared into the ocean fog.
“So…where are you three heading off to?” Greg asked the group without moving his beady eyes from Amanda.
“Anywhere you aren’t going,” Jeff replied folding his arms in a tiring manner.
“Actually, we’re going toward the Burgundy City Gym. I’m planning on having my first official gym battle this morning,” Mike corrected his friend. While he too did not like Greg’s apparent obsessive vibe for Amanda, he didn’t want to be rude to the polite, yet sweaty man.
“What about you?” Amanda inquired Greg.
“Me? I’m going to do some errands here and then I'm heading for Sandstone City. It’s an elegant place on the other side of the island. It’s holding a Pokemon Contest next week,” Greg informed the group. Amanda heard this and instantly leapt toward Mike. She grabbed his shoulder and began to pull it hard.
"Pokemon Contests! Mike, as soon as your gym battle is over, we're heading there!" she shrieked while practically bouncing in the air.
"Wow, you're into contests too?" Greg asked with a Gengar’s grin.
Amanda nodded and placed her hands behind her neck. "I love Pokemon Contests. It's such a great feeling to train your best friends to look beautiful!" she laughed. Greg nodded in utter agreement.
“Hey Rhyhorny, keep your Ekans in its pants, ok? I can tell by that grin you just want to-” Jeff started to say before he was once again silenced by a smack in the face.
“You are so juvenile!” Amanda responded with an angered look.
“I’d like to see your Pokemon,” Greg said changing the subject.
“I bet you would! And by Pokemon you mean her-”
“JEFF!” Amanda silenced him with a shrieking voice. The annoyed girl then pulled two Pokeballs from her pack and tossed them onto the wooden planks of the dock. Ralts and Mudkip appeared, each one looking around confused.
“I haven’t had much time to train Mudkip, but I did brush it last night,” Amanda admitted. Mudkip waddled up to her leg and began to rub against it. She picked the Pokemon up and began to tickle its stomach. Ralts peered up at the bulky sailor towering over it. It seemed rather frightened and wobbled backward, tripping on its own ghostly feet as it did.
"Ralts is my little smarty. It helped me pass my Pokemon Contest class at Pokemon Tech," Amanda informed Greg.
"They look perfect!" Greg replied while staring at the Pokemon’s trainer.
“By ‘they’, do you mean the Pokemon or the other two objects Amanda has?” Jeff asked sarcastically.
"I‘m just going to head out now. This situation is becoming far too awkward. Hope to see you all later, well, most of you," Greg said as he stepped away and glared at Jeff. With that, he turned and walked down the pier. Mike smiled as the man finally exited their lives. He was a nice guy, but his fixation on Amanda was something Mike wouldn’t have tolerated much longer. He would have opened his mouth just as Jeff had in a few more minutes with the sailor.
"Well, should we be off too?" Mike asked his friends. Amanda nodded and picked Ralts up as well. Both Pokemon rested in her arms as she began to cradle them.
"Dude, if you baby your Pokemon like that they‘ll just become pansies. You need to give them tough love like I do with Seedot," Jeff muttered. Amanda shot him a very dirty look and turned away. The three then exited the dock and into the lively city streets. It was heavily populated, but there were surprisingly no cars on the road. Transportation consisted of biking and walking, which many people were doing. Assorted vendors and shops lined the sidewalks opening up for the morning rush. Office buildings and skyscrapers towered in the distance behind them.
"The gym isn't too far ahead. We just have to pass through Burgundy Park," Amanda informed them while studying at the map. Mike nodded and pressed on.
The three soon came to a large, concrete archway with a bricked fence extending away from it and around the perimeter of a healthy green field. Different types of palm trees and assorted foliage lined the interior throughout the haven. This was Burgundy Park, a place for trainers to come and relax. The group headed underneath the archway and into the field, passing by many trainers who were enjoying the crisp morning air.
"Hmm, is anybody getting hungry? We could take a tiny break here if so,” Amanda suggested. Mike sighed a bit but did not want to go against Amanda’s wishes.
“Sounds good. I could use some relaxation before my battle,” he said.
“I guess I could take a little nap,” Jeff remarked and walked toward a nearby oak tree with a large bumpy trunk.
“Jeff, how can you sleep when we’re in such a beautiful area?” Amanda wondered with a shocked tone.
“Aww, look at the cute little flower!” Jeff said with a caring whisper. He bent down and began to pet a tiny dandelion that was poking up from the grass near the tree, looking up at Amanda to see if she was satisfied.
“Whatever,” she said placing a hand up.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need my beauty sleep,” Jeff said to her. He then turned around and sat down, crushing the flower under his lanky body.
"Taillow, Torchic, Electrike, come on out!" Mike exclaimed while tossing their Pokeballs into the air. The three Pokemon appeared instantly. Taillow immediately landed on Mike's shoulders and began pecking away at his head.
"Ow, Taillow, don't you realize that hurts?" the teen yelled. Torchic began to run around the field as Electrike tugged at Mike's pant leg.
"Seedot, Treecko, let’s go!" Jeff yelled tossing his two Pokeballs as well. The two Pokemon formed and blinked. Treecko sat down next to Jeff, making sure it didn't seem obvious it wanted to be near him. Seedot happily rolled around the field.
Mike had decided to take this time to train before his gym match. He was going to need it seeing as how his two other Pokemon were not experienced battlers.
"Ok guys, we're going to practice some techniques. We'll try accuracy first," Mike announced to his three creatures. He leaned down and placed his pack on the grass, pulling a neon green Frisbee out. "Taillow, when I throw the Frisbee, I want you to wing attack it," he ordered. Taillow pecked hard at his head and then nodded.
Mike tossed the Frisbee into the air and the bird took flight. It swooped low and swung up, striking the disk and knocking it down to the ground below.
"Good job buddy!" Mike complimented his feathery friend. "Now bring it back!" Taillow chirped and flew down to retrieve the fallen Frisbee. It grasped it in its small talons and began to fly off across the park.
"Taillow, what the hell are you doing? Get back here so we can train!” Mike yelled as he raced after the thieving Pokemon. Electrike growled happily and followed its master with Torchic close behind.
Amanda was lying on the grass looking up at the sky. Her two Pokemon were playing a clapping game by her side. She sat up and peered at them.
"You guys ready to practice some contest skills?" She suggested. They nodded and she turned to Jeff.
"Aren't you going to train?" she asked him. Jeff lounged with his head against the tree and a baseball cap from his pack over his face.
"Do I have too?" he muttered from under it, his voice muffled and whiney.
“Of course! If you want to be a half decent trainer you have to work at it,” Amanda responded and stood up as Jeff removed the hat.
"You two!” he shouted to his two grass types. “Fight to the death."
With this command, he laid back down. Treecko looked at Seedot, and the spinning Pokemon glared back. They angrily began to sidestep in a circle growling at each other. Amanda shrugged and walked off.
"Excuse me, but are those your Pokemon?" a girl's voice sounded.
“For the last time Amanda. My Pokemon are training, go find some random guy to flirt with,” Jeff said as he removed the hat again, but was now face to face with a young trainer. She had glowing blonde hair and a short skirt on. A white sweater modestly covered her chest and bows were at the peak of her hairline.
“Um, yeah they are mine,” Jeff replied weakly. He turned to his Pokemon to see Treecko was prodding Seedot with a stick, trying hard to puncture the Pokemon’s thick shell.
"Wow, they are so cute!" the girl said with a smile.
"Ugh, doesn't anyone care that I'm trying to sleep?" Jeff muttered to himself. He began to whimper as the girl continued the one-sided conversation.
"The name's Laura, fancy a match?" she asked.
"Fine, if it'll get you to stop bothering me," Jeff retorted as he stood up.
"Yay!" Laura giggled as she ran to the far end of the field.
“God, why are women so confusing? If they aren’t complaining about oppression and unfair treatment, then they are giggly and ecstatic,” Jeff thought to himself.
"Go Marill!" Laura shouted as a royal blue Pokemon took shape in front of her. It was very round and had a zigzagging tail that ended with an orb at the tip. Its ears were circular and wiggly and it had teddy bear eyes.
"Seedot, I guess you can go out there!" Jeff said yawning. The acorn spun into battle.
Meanwhile, Mike had finally caught up to Taillow. He leapt up and snagged the Frisbee from the bird, which retaliated by pecking furiously at his head.
"Electrike, we're going to work on your quick attack as electric attacks will do no good against this gym leader," Mike turned to his starter Pokemon. Electrike nodded and Mike threw the Frisbee. The Pokemon barked and ran after it, pumping its legs with volts of electricity. It leapt into the air and smashed into the Frisbee, sending it sprawling to the ground.
"Good job dude!" Mike yelled. Electrike landed next to the disc and started to bite at it, the happy growling morphing to anger.
"No, Electrike, you're done!' Mike shrieked as he pulled the Frisbee away from the snarling Pokemon. The circular toy was now was full of bite marks and scratches
"Torchic, you're up. Please be gentle with my things," Mike exclaimed and glared at Electrike. Torchic nodded and Mike tossed the Frisbee. The baby chicken let out a barrage of embers, charring the Frisbee, and causing Mike to jump away as the disc landed scorching on the ground next to him.
“Nice aim Torchic, but I said to treat the Frisbee with kindness,” Mike riposted with a disappointed look.
Team Steam had entered the park through the west entrance and were now causally parading through the trainers and Pokemon.
"So many Pokemon, this place would be a Team Rocket gold mine," Clyde grinned.
"Yeah, and there’s that chick that hangs out with our prodigy," Bonnie discovered. She pointed down the park to where Amanda stood training her Pokemon. "We’ve found them again, and lucky us…there’s only one of them. Fancy a Ralts and a Mudkip?" she asked her partner. Clyde let out a devilish grin and nodded in understanding.
"Mudkip, use water gun!" Amanda ordered. Mudkip let loose the fountain of water straight into the air while doing a jig on its hind legs. “Your cuteness is splendid! Now try a mud slap!" Amanda instructed. Mudkip nodded and switched attacks. It began to happily kick up mud that had formed from the sprinkles of water trickling to the ground from the previous attack. Amanda began to laugh.
"You’re the perfect cute contest competitor!" she excitedly exclaimed. "Now Ralts, how's your smartness coming along?"
Ralts grinned and waved to her. It was practicing its calm mind/confusion combo and it was going smoothly.
Suddenly, the Pokemon disappeared in a flash of brown cloth. Amanda turned and saw Mudkip get snatched up as well.
"What's this?" she asked looking out to see Bonnie and Clyde with sacks over their shoulders. Each bag contained one of Amanda’s precious Pokemon.
“Well, we were strolling through the park one day,” Bonnie grinned and turned to look at Clyde.
“In the merry merry month of May,” he finished the sentence.
“And we thought, why not take the little skank’s Pokemon? Isn’t that lovely, Clyde thought of it!” Bonnie clarified.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Marill, tackle it!" Laura yelled. The round Pokemon nodded and raced towards the tiring Seedot. The battle had been going on a while, and Seedot was almost out.
"Seedot, roll out of the way! Don’t let that beach ball topple over you! It would be Fat Tuesday all over again!" Jeff yelled recalling the day at Pokemon Tech when a fat student steamrolled over his tiny seedling Pokemon to grab a fallen donut.
Seedot spun to the left and dodged the attack. It then happily leapt up and down not seeming to have a care in the world.
"Now use razor leaf!" Jeff instructed. Seedot let off the attack, but Laura picked up her Marill before it connected.
"What is this? How the heck does your Seedot know razor leaf?" she asked in a distasteful manner.
"Um, the same way you know how to shut up. I ordered the attack the first day I got the Pokemon, and it performed it.” Jeff released the comment with a pleasing glance. “Why, is it bad that it knows it?”
"You’re a little cheater! Seedots don't learn razor leaf. I don't battle cheaters!" Laura angrily bellowed and stormed off.
"Huh? Seedot you nitwit! What's wrong with you?" Jeff yelled. Seedot stared at him then proceeded to roll around on the ground. “Leave it to me to get the deformed starter…” Jeff said with a sigh.
"Electrike, keep dodging!" Mike coached his beginner. All of his Pokemon were now dodging each other with awesome timing.
"Get back here!" Mike heard Amanda yell. He turned to see Team Steam carrying two large sacks as his friend angrily chased.
"Don't they learn?" Mike sighed and stepped in front of him as the two approached.
"Out of our way kid!" Bonnie roared, but Mike stood his ground.
"Go Slugma!” Clyde barked and released his sizzling Pokemon.
“Wooper, I choose you!" Bonnie followed suit. Mike signaled to his Pokemon and they leapt in front of him.
"Time for some real practice!" he grinned.
Jeff had recently left the nerve-wracking park and began to wander through the city. He was a man on a mission, and that mission was to discover the birth defect that his starter had. Seedot and Treecko followed quaintly behind him as they moved through the crowds of people.
"You would think there would be a decent amount of video phones around here!" Jeff said sarcastically to anyone that would listen. The Pokecenter was just up the road against a large office building. Jeff walked inside and marched up to the front desk. Nurse Joy stared back at him with big blue eyes.
"Nurse Joy, I need your help!" he stated and then gave her a confused look.
“Did you get fired from the Oldale center and come here?" he inquired.
“No, I’m afraid that I have always been here,” The nurse retorted with a bewildering tone.
“Um, I’m just going to skip a lot of time and just realize that I’m high,” Jeff muttered. “But when did I drink enough cough medicine to do that? Maybe I got sick on the ship and passed out and Amanda gave me too much cough medicine in which case I didn‘t realize it until after we docked.”
“Is there anything I can help you with?” Joy said trying to change the subject.
"It's my Seedot. Some girl I battled said it cheats. I think it has a disease or something," Jeff explained while in the midst of his epiphany. Nurse Joy looked down to see the smiling acorn Pokemon at Jeff‘s feet.
"Looks perfectly fine to me," she shrugged with no words of wisdom to offer.
"Yeah, but the girl said it can't learn razor leaf, but it uses it anyways. Is that bad?" Jeff asked with a dumbfounded expression. Nurse Joy laughed.
"I don't think so. Maybe you're just a good trainer," she suggested.
“God, I know I’m hot but why does everyone insist on trying to get in my pants?” Jeff said looking down and talking to Seedot. “Come on, this horn dog isn’t going to help much. Let’s call up Pokemon Tech.”
Jeff sighed and walked to the video phone at the desks across the counter. Though he didn't want to call, only Mr. Farkin could clear this up, so he would have to hold a conversation with the dispiriting man. The phone rang three times before the teacher picked up.
"Jeff? Why how is my mentally challenged pupil?" his teacher said with a serious tone. Mr. Farkin liked to hit it to his students, and Jeff got a lot of the punches.
"Uh, let me be frank Mr. Farkin." he began while trying his best to keep his cool. It wasn’t easy as Mr. Farkin’s beady eyes stared at him through large spectacles on the monitor.
"Why the hell does my Seedot know razor leaf?" he then shouted at the top of his lungs causing the guests of the Center to look on with shock. Mr. Farkin stared at him with owl-like eyes.
"Hmm, ah yes I remember!" the teacher stammered. "Mr. Leaof, the grass type teacher, was the one who caught it. He was shocked as well by this. It seems your Seedot is one of a kind, the only one of its species that mastered the attack. Mr. Leaof wanted to research it more, but Principal Plap wanted all caught Pokemon in the selection section. I guess you were the lucky trainer that got the special Pokemon,"
"So I'm special?" Jeff let out a toothy grin. He knew it! Not only was he hot as hell, but he was now extraordinary! The thought of being better then Mike and Amanda crossed his mind.
"No, But your Seedot is! The only special you belong to is special education," Mr. Farkin replied with a laugh that shattered Jeff’s intoxicating happiness. The young teen toppled over and smashed his face into the video phone, causing the teacher to fall back in his chair.
"Well, have to go, got a class!" Mr. Farkin said speedily and hung up.
Jeff stood up and stared at Seedot. It was blinking a lot as it peered up at its trainer, wondering what had just gone on.
"I heard what your teacher said,” Jeff heard Laura’s voice behind him. “Sorry I was mean earlier, I was just shocked by your Seedot knowing that attack.”
"You should be! Next time you decide to go all ‘PMS monster’, make sure it’s not on me! And to make it up to my hot self, I want a rematch!" Jeff retorted.
Laura looked up with mixed expressions. She found it rude that he mentioned a woman’s monthly visitor in her presence, but also enjoyed the fact that he wanted a rematch. She decided to let the last comment slide.
"You're on!" she said with a grin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Taillow wing attack!" Mike muttered. The Pokemon flew down and bashed into Wooper, sending it tumbling back.
“Slugma, try a yawn!" Clyde roared. Slugma let out a low yawn and soon Taillow fluttered to the ground with drooping eyes. A small bubble erupted from its nostril and Mike knew it was asleep.
"Return!" He shouted.
"Ooh, put them all to sleep!" Bonnie said excited by the Pokemon’s ability.
"Electrike, use spark!" Mike instructed. The Pokemon let off the attack, but Wooper leapt in the way, taking the electricity in and allowing it to pass into the ground under it, leaving both Pokemon unharmed.
"Yawn," Clyde repeated to his Pokemon. Slugma opened its mouth again, and Electrike was snoring like a baby in no time flat.
"Return!" Mike said recalling the electric Pokemon to its Pokeball. Now only Torchic remained. "Torchic, use ember!” Torchic let off the barrage of fireballs, but Wooper just took this attack as well, seemingly unfazed by it.
"Ha-ha, what a weakling!" Bonnie snickered. Suddenly, Torchic let its attack go haywire, causing fire to go everywhere. A speck hit the bag Bonnie held and burned it open, allowing Mudkip to escape. A second hit her hair and she erupted in flames.
“Get it out, get it out!” Bonnie screamed running around the field before Wooper doused her off.
"Yawn!" Clyde ordered.
"Mudkip, use water gun!" Amanda joined the battle. The blue mud skipper launched the attack and Slugma was smashed into Clyde. He dropped his bag and Amanda ran to retrieve it, untying it and allowing Ralts to leap out.
"Use confusion!" Amanda said as soon as they had reunited. Ralts concentrated hard, picking up the team members and their respective Pokemon. It then pulled its arms apart, sending all that it held high into the sky and away from the area.
"Thanks Mike!" Amanda said picking up Ralts and hugging it. “They just came out of nowhere. I wonder why they are so intent on following us.”
Mike’s face turned red from blushing and he recalled Torchic.
"I got some good training in today!" he said, not knowing what else to say. He wanted to change that previous statement to “I did it all for you,” but couldn’t bring himself to.
"So did I!" Let's go check to see if Jeff's awake yet!" Amanda responded. She recalled her two Pokemon and the two teens headed off to find their third companion.
"Seedot, razor leaf!" Jeff commanded from the field that the two trainers chose to battle. It was situated in the corner of the park. The special Pokemon released the barrage of leaves at Marill, but the Pokemon just rolled away.
"Marill, use iron tail!" Laura shouted. Marill wound up its tail as the spherical tip became a silvery metal. It then smacked it into Seedot. Seedot sprawled across the field and slowly got back up.
"Use growth!" Jeff countered. Seedot nodded and it began to soak in energy, turning its body a florescent green.
"Marill use bubble!" Laura followed up. Mike and Amanda approached the scene to see Seedot struck with the attack.
"Battling again?" Mike commented. Jeff let out a fake laugh.
"Seedot, use nature power! Kill that little rat!" he then ordered. Seedot released the attack. It formed into a barrage of stars which struck Marill in a blinding swift attack.
"Now razor leaf!"
The acorn launched the leaves at the immobile Marill, sending it falling back as the leaves scraped across it, leaving the Pokemon with many cuts.
"Marill get up!" Laura yelled. Marill slowly did, but it was getting tired.
"Seedot!" the acorn suddenly roared, its quiet disposition suddenly turning into an eruption of screaming.
"What's up with you?" Jeff asked. “Aw God, you’re not bipolar too are you?”
Seedot's expression changed and it suddenly began to glow! Mike and Amanda stared in shock as the acorn's shape changed into that of a small marionette-like figure complete with a pointy nose and bulbous green tinted thighs.
"Nuzzzzleaf!" the newly formed Pokemon said in a sturdy manner. It was short with a brownish body, a Pokemon known as a Nuzleaf.
"You evolved," Jeff muttered with a shocked expression before continuing, “into Pinocchio…”
Amanda pulled out her Pokedex and aimed it at the creature.
"Nuzleaf; the wily Pokemon. Nuzleaf live in densely overgrown forests. They occasionally venture out of the forest to startle people. This Pokemon dislikes having its long nose pinched." the Pokedex muttered.
"You have your first dark type!" Mike grinned at his friend. Jeff was completely still. He then leapt high into the air and made a fist.
"YESSSS!" he screamed and began to do the Macarena on the field. His new Nuzleaf looked at him with a weirded-out expression.
"In case you're forgetting, we still have a battle to finish," Laura reminded her opponent. Mike could tell she was starting to worry. Jeff stopped his dance and returned to the battle.
“Nuzelaf, crunch attack!” he shouted, wanting desperately to try out new dark type attacks. “Come on darkie, make with the purple energy!”
Jeff loved the display of dark type attacks. The violet hues that oozed around a dark type when it let off an attack, but Nuzleaf didn’t ooze anything.
“Why aren’t you crunching? Come on, you didn’t evolve into a pacifist did you?” he screeched, taunting his own Pokemon.
“Jeff, Nuzleaf can’t use crunch.” Mike informed him. “Just keep doing what you did before.”
“But I want to see the purple energy!” Jeff whined back.
“Then lose the match,” Mike retorted.
"Ugh, Nuzleaf, use razor leaf!" Jeff shouted at his Pokemon, not wanting to lose.
"Nuzzzz!" the Pokemon roared as it released the barrage of leaves.
“Ha, now I have a special Nuzleaf!" Jeff said happily, hoping the Nuzleaf would erupt in purple just to satisfy his desires. Marill dodged the leaves and leapt into the air.
"Use iron tail!" Laura yelled. The Pokemon wound its tail again and slammed into Nuzleaf. The grass type bounced back, but raced right in again at Marill.
It was then that Jeff remembered something from school; the one thing that he stayed awake for. Nuzleafs main dark type attack was faint attack. This was his moment to shine, to show off his dark abilities.
"Nuzleaf, use faint attack!" Jeff commanded with personal satisfaction. The Pokemon disappeared and reappeared beside Marill, clouds of purple shimmering where the Pokemon had been. It struck Marill hard, sending it flying.
"Ha, like what I learned in Dark Pokemon Strategies?" Jeff asked his opponent. Marill did not get up.
“Yes! You suck Laura! I am the winner, in your face!” Jeff began to dance again.
Laura recalled Marill to its Pokeball.
"Wow, you're an awesome trainer." she said, knowing that Jeff‘s immature comments were not what he really thought. Jeff shook her hand and continued his jig.
"No hard feelings about before, maybe we can battle again someday," she then commented. Jeff nodded and watched as the blonde girl headed off.
He then turned to Nuzleaf, the vertically challenged biped. It stared up at him and he leaned down to it. Jeff placed his palm out and Nuzleaf cocked its head. It then figured out what he wanted and smacked him a high five.
"Aww, little Jeffy is showing affection again?" Mike laughed.
"Hell yeah I am, this is a dark type we're talking about here!" Jeff responded with a laugh.
"Well how about heading to the gym now? I know you’re itching for that battle," Amanda suggested.
"Good idea, you can see me kick more butt than Jeff did today," Mike replied.
Jeff laughed and recalled his new Pokemon.
"No one kicks more butt than me. You can try, but you’ll soon learn that I am indeed the shiznit,” he hammered into Mike trying to sound as cool as his new Pokemon. It didn’t work very well.
“Let’s just go before Jeff starts speaking in complete slang,” Amanda said and started off. Mike and Jeff followed close behind.
Next Chapter- Chapter 9: Tough Battle! Mike's First Gym Fight!
Mike fights the Burgundy City Gym Leader for a chance at the Desert Badge!
Hey, here's the eighth remake chapter coming to you from my new laptop. I didn't have as much time to edit this one as the others but I thought it was good enough to release, just keep in mind that there may be a little bit of grammatical errors and such until I get around to proofreading it fully. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Accused of Cheating! Jeff's Special Seedot!
The large red and black ferry was now docked in the Burgundy City harbor. It was very early morning and the sun had just appeared over the horizon, giving the skyline of the city a reddish hue. The boarding ramp lowered onto the docks to allow the passengers to get off the vessel. Greg led his new friends down it and onto the busy pier. Assorted sailors and merchants were already setting up shops and preparing for a day’s work. Fisherman hoisted their anchors from the sea and began to speed away from the harbor, their boat’s creating tiny wakes as they disappeared into the ocean fog.
“So…where are you three heading off to?” Greg asked the group without moving his beady eyes from Amanda.
“Anywhere you aren’t going,” Jeff replied folding his arms in a tiring manner.
“Actually, we’re going toward the Burgundy City Gym. I’m planning on having my first official gym battle this morning,” Mike corrected his friend. While he too did not like Greg’s apparent obsessive vibe for Amanda, he didn’t want to be rude to the polite, yet sweaty man.
“What about you?” Amanda inquired Greg.
“Me? I’m going to do some errands here and then I'm heading for Sandstone City. It’s an elegant place on the other side of the island. It’s holding a Pokemon Contest next week,” Greg informed the group. Amanda heard this and instantly leapt toward Mike. She grabbed his shoulder and began to pull it hard.
"Pokemon Contests! Mike, as soon as your gym battle is over, we're heading there!" she shrieked while practically bouncing in the air.
"Wow, you're into contests too?" Greg asked with a Gengar’s grin.
Amanda nodded and placed her hands behind her neck. "I love Pokemon Contests. It's such a great feeling to train your best friends to look beautiful!" she laughed. Greg nodded in utter agreement.
“Hey Rhyhorny, keep your Ekans in its pants, ok? I can tell by that grin you just want to-” Jeff started to say before he was once again silenced by a smack in the face.
“You are so juvenile!” Amanda responded with an angered look.
“I’d like to see your Pokemon,” Greg said changing the subject.
“I bet you would! And by Pokemon you mean her-”
“JEFF!” Amanda silenced him with a shrieking voice. The annoyed girl then pulled two Pokeballs from her pack and tossed them onto the wooden planks of the dock. Ralts and Mudkip appeared, each one looking around confused.
“I haven’t had much time to train Mudkip, but I did brush it last night,” Amanda admitted. Mudkip waddled up to her leg and began to rub against it. She picked the Pokemon up and began to tickle its stomach. Ralts peered up at the bulky sailor towering over it. It seemed rather frightened and wobbled backward, tripping on its own ghostly feet as it did.
"Ralts is my little smarty. It helped me pass my Pokemon Contest class at Pokemon Tech," Amanda informed Greg.
"They look perfect!" Greg replied while staring at the Pokemon’s trainer.
“By ‘they’, do you mean the Pokemon or the other two objects Amanda has?” Jeff asked sarcastically.
"I‘m just going to head out now. This situation is becoming far too awkward. Hope to see you all later, well, most of you," Greg said as he stepped away and glared at Jeff. With that, he turned and walked down the pier. Mike smiled as the man finally exited their lives. He was a nice guy, but his fixation on Amanda was something Mike wouldn’t have tolerated much longer. He would have opened his mouth just as Jeff had in a few more minutes with the sailor.
"Well, should we be off too?" Mike asked his friends. Amanda nodded and picked Ralts up as well. Both Pokemon rested in her arms as she began to cradle them.
"Dude, if you baby your Pokemon like that they‘ll just become pansies. You need to give them tough love like I do with Seedot," Jeff muttered. Amanda shot him a very dirty look and turned away. The three then exited the dock and into the lively city streets. It was heavily populated, but there were surprisingly no cars on the road. Transportation consisted of biking and walking, which many people were doing. Assorted vendors and shops lined the sidewalks opening up for the morning rush. Office buildings and skyscrapers towered in the distance behind them.
"The gym isn't too far ahead. We just have to pass through Burgundy Park," Amanda informed them while studying at the map. Mike nodded and pressed on.
The three soon came to a large, concrete archway with a bricked fence extending away from it and around the perimeter of a healthy green field. Different types of palm trees and assorted foliage lined the interior throughout the haven. This was Burgundy Park, a place for trainers to come and relax. The group headed underneath the archway and into the field, passing by many trainers who were enjoying the crisp morning air.
"Hmm, is anybody getting hungry? We could take a tiny break here if so,” Amanda suggested. Mike sighed a bit but did not want to go against Amanda’s wishes.
“Sounds good. I could use some relaxation before my battle,” he said.
“I guess I could take a little nap,” Jeff remarked and walked toward a nearby oak tree with a large bumpy trunk.
“Jeff, how can you sleep when we’re in such a beautiful area?” Amanda wondered with a shocked tone.
“Aww, look at the cute little flower!” Jeff said with a caring whisper. He bent down and began to pet a tiny dandelion that was poking up from the grass near the tree, looking up at Amanda to see if she was satisfied.
“Whatever,” she said placing a hand up.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need my beauty sleep,” Jeff said to her. He then turned around and sat down, crushing the flower under his lanky body.
"Taillow, Torchic, Electrike, come on out!" Mike exclaimed while tossing their Pokeballs into the air. The three Pokemon appeared instantly. Taillow immediately landed on Mike's shoulders and began pecking away at his head.
"Ow, Taillow, don't you realize that hurts?" the teen yelled. Torchic began to run around the field as Electrike tugged at Mike's pant leg.
"Seedot, Treecko, let’s go!" Jeff yelled tossing his two Pokeballs as well. The two Pokemon formed and blinked. Treecko sat down next to Jeff, making sure it didn't seem obvious it wanted to be near him. Seedot happily rolled around the field.
Mike had decided to take this time to train before his gym match. He was going to need it seeing as how his two other Pokemon were not experienced battlers.
"Ok guys, we're going to practice some techniques. We'll try accuracy first," Mike announced to his three creatures. He leaned down and placed his pack on the grass, pulling a neon green Frisbee out. "Taillow, when I throw the Frisbee, I want you to wing attack it," he ordered. Taillow pecked hard at his head and then nodded.
Mike tossed the Frisbee into the air and the bird took flight. It swooped low and swung up, striking the disk and knocking it down to the ground below.
"Good job buddy!" Mike complimented his feathery friend. "Now bring it back!" Taillow chirped and flew down to retrieve the fallen Frisbee. It grasped it in its small talons and began to fly off across the park.
"Taillow, what the hell are you doing? Get back here so we can train!” Mike yelled as he raced after the thieving Pokemon. Electrike growled happily and followed its master with Torchic close behind.
Amanda was lying on the grass looking up at the sky. Her two Pokemon were playing a clapping game by her side. She sat up and peered at them.
"You guys ready to practice some contest skills?" She suggested. They nodded and she turned to Jeff.
"Aren't you going to train?" she asked him. Jeff lounged with his head against the tree and a baseball cap from his pack over his face.
"Do I have too?" he muttered from under it, his voice muffled and whiney.
“Of course! If you want to be a half decent trainer you have to work at it,” Amanda responded and stood up as Jeff removed the hat.
"You two!” he shouted to his two grass types. “Fight to the death."
With this command, he laid back down. Treecko looked at Seedot, and the spinning Pokemon glared back. They angrily began to sidestep in a circle growling at each other. Amanda shrugged and walked off.
"Excuse me, but are those your Pokemon?" a girl's voice sounded.
“For the last time Amanda. My Pokemon are training, go find some random guy to flirt with,” Jeff said as he removed the hat again, but was now face to face with a young trainer. She had glowing blonde hair and a short skirt on. A white sweater modestly covered her chest and bows were at the peak of her hairline.
“Um, yeah they are mine,” Jeff replied weakly. He turned to his Pokemon to see Treecko was prodding Seedot with a stick, trying hard to puncture the Pokemon’s thick shell.
"Wow, they are so cute!" the girl said with a smile.
"Ugh, doesn't anyone care that I'm trying to sleep?" Jeff muttered to himself. He began to whimper as the girl continued the one-sided conversation.
"The name's Laura, fancy a match?" she asked.
"Fine, if it'll get you to stop bothering me," Jeff retorted as he stood up.
"Yay!" Laura giggled as she ran to the far end of the field.
“God, why are women so confusing? If they aren’t complaining about oppression and unfair treatment, then they are giggly and ecstatic,” Jeff thought to himself.
"Go Marill!" Laura shouted as a royal blue Pokemon took shape in front of her. It was very round and had a zigzagging tail that ended with an orb at the tip. Its ears were circular and wiggly and it had teddy bear eyes.
"Seedot, I guess you can go out there!" Jeff said yawning. The acorn spun into battle.
Meanwhile, Mike had finally caught up to Taillow. He leapt up and snagged the Frisbee from the bird, which retaliated by pecking furiously at his head.
"Electrike, we're going to work on your quick attack as electric attacks will do no good against this gym leader," Mike turned to his starter Pokemon. Electrike nodded and Mike threw the Frisbee. The Pokemon barked and ran after it, pumping its legs with volts of electricity. It leapt into the air and smashed into the Frisbee, sending it sprawling to the ground.
"Good job dude!" Mike yelled. Electrike landed next to the disc and started to bite at it, the happy growling morphing to anger.
"No, Electrike, you're done!' Mike shrieked as he pulled the Frisbee away from the snarling Pokemon. The circular toy was now was full of bite marks and scratches
"Torchic, you're up. Please be gentle with my things," Mike exclaimed and glared at Electrike. Torchic nodded and Mike tossed the Frisbee. The baby chicken let out a barrage of embers, charring the Frisbee, and causing Mike to jump away as the disc landed scorching on the ground next to him.
“Nice aim Torchic, but I said to treat the Frisbee with kindness,” Mike riposted with a disappointed look.
Team Steam had entered the park through the west entrance and were now causally parading through the trainers and Pokemon.
"So many Pokemon, this place would be a Team Rocket gold mine," Clyde grinned.
"Yeah, and there’s that chick that hangs out with our prodigy," Bonnie discovered. She pointed down the park to where Amanda stood training her Pokemon. "We’ve found them again, and lucky us…there’s only one of them. Fancy a Ralts and a Mudkip?" she asked her partner. Clyde let out a devilish grin and nodded in understanding.
"Mudkip, use water gun!" Amanda ordered. Mudkip let loose the fountain of water straight into the air while doing a jig on its hind legs. “Your cuteness is splendid! Now try a mud slap!" Amanda instructed. Mudkip nodded and switched attacks. It began to happily kick up mud that had formed from the sprinkles of water trickling to the ground from the previous attack. Amanda began to laugh.
"You’re the perfect cute contest competitor!" she excitedly exclaimed. "Now Ralts, how's your smartness coming along?"
Ralts grinned and waved to her. It was practicing its calm mind/confusion combo and it was going smoothly.
Suddenly, the Pokemon disappeared in a flash of brown cloth. Amanda turned and saw Mudkip get snatched up as well.
"What's this?" she asked looking out to see Bonnie and Clyde with sacks over their shoulders. Each bag contained one of Amanda’s precious Pokemon.
“Well, we were strolling through the park one day,” Bonnie grinned and turned to look at Clyde.
“In the merry merry month of May,” he finished the sentence.
“And we thought, why not take the little skank’s Pokemon? Isn’t that lovely, Clyde thought of it!” Bonnie clarified.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Marill, tackle it!" Laura yelled. The round Pokemon nodded and raced towards the tiring Seedot. The battle had been going on a while, and Seedot was almost out.
"Seedot, roll out of the way! Don’t let that beach ball topple over you! It would be Fat Tuesday all over again!" Jeff yelled recalling the day at Pokemon Tech when a fat student steamrolled over his tiny seedling Pokemon to grab a fallen donut.
Seedot spun to the left and dodged the attack. It then happily leapt up and down not seeming to have a care in the world.
"Now use razor leaf!" Jeff instructed. Seedot let off the attack, but Laura picked up her Marill before it connected.
"What is this? How the heck does your Seedot know razor leaf?" she asked in a distasteful manner.
"Um, the same way you know how to shut up. I ordered the attack the first day I got the Pokemon, and it performed it.” Jeff released the comment with a pleasing glance. “Why, is it bad that it knows it?”
"You’re a little cheater! Seedots don't learn razor leaf. I don't battle cheaters!" Laura angrily bellowed and stormed off.
"Huh? Seedot you nitwit! What's wrong with you?" Jeff yelled. Seedot stared at him then proceeded to roll around on the ground. “Leave it to me to get the deformed starter…” Jeff said with a sigh.
"Electrike, keep dodging!" Mike coached his beginner. All of his Pokemon were now dodging each other with awesome timing.
"Get back here!" Mike heard Amanda yell. He turned to see Team Steam carrying two large sacks as his friend angrily chased.
"Don't they learn?" Mike sighed and stepped in front of him as the two approached.
"Out of our way kid!" Bonnie roared, but Mike stood his ground.
"Go Slugma!” Clyde barked and released his sizzling Pokemon.
“Wooper, I choose you!" Bonnie followed suit. Mike signaled to his Pokemon and they leapt in front of him.
"Time for some real practice!" he grinned.
Jeff had recently left the nerve-wracking park and began to wander through the city. He was a man on a mission, and that mission was to discover the birth defect that his starter had. Seedot and Treecko followed quaintly behind him as they moved through the crowds of people.
"You would think there would be a decent amount of video phones around here!" Jeff said sarcastically to anyone that would listen. The Pokecenter was just up the road against a large office building. Jeff walked inside and marched up to the front desk. Nurse Joy stared back at him with big blue eyes.
"Nurse Joy, I need your help!" he stated and then gave her a confused look.
“Did you get fired from the Oldale center and come here?" he inquired.
“No, I’m afraid that I have always been here,” The nurse retorted with a bewildering tone.
“Um, I’m just going to skip a lot of time and just realize that I’m high,” Jeff muttered. “But when did I drink enough cough medicine to do that? Maybe I got sick on the ship and passed out and Amanda gave me too much cough medicine in which case I didn‘t realize it until after we docked.”
“Is there anything I can help you with?” Joy said trying to change the subject.
"It's my Seedot. Some girl I battled said it cheats. I think it has a disease or something," Jeff explained while in the midst of his epiphany. Nurse Joy looked down to see the smiling acorn Pokemon at Jeff‘s feet.
"Looks perfectly fine to me," she shrugged with no words of wisdom to offer.
"Yeah, but the girl said it can't learn razor leaf, but it uses it anyways. Is that bad?" Jeff asked with a dumbfounded expression. Nurse Joy laughed.
"I don't think so. Maybe you're just a good trainer," she suggested.
“God, I know I’m hot but why does everyone insist on trying to get in my pants?” Jeff said looking down and talking to Seedot. “Come on, this horn dog isn’t going to help much. Let’s call up Pokemon Tech.”
Jeff sighed and walked to the video phone at the desks across the counter. Though he didn't want to call, only Mr. Farkin could clear this up, so he would have to hold a conversation with the dispiriting man. The phone rang three times before the teacher picked up.
"Jeff? Why how is my mentally challenged pupil?" his teacher said with a serious tone. Mr. Farkin liked to hit it to his students, and Jeff got a lot of the punches.
"Uh, let me be frank Mr. Farkin." he began while trying his best to keep his cool. It wasn’t easy as Mr. Farkin’s beady eyes stared at him through large spectacles on the monitor.
"Why the hell does my Seedot know razor leaf?" he then shouted at the top of his lungs causing the guests of the Center to look on with shock. Mr. Farkin stared at him with owl-like eyes.
"Hmm, ah yes I remember!" the teacher stammered. "Mr. Leaof, the grass type teacher, was the one who caught it. He was shocked as well by this. It seems your Seedot is one of a kind, the only one of its species that mastered the attack. Mr. Leaof wanted to research it more, but Principal Plap wanted all caught Pokemon in the selection section. I guess you were the lucky trainer that got the special Pokemon,"
"So I'm special?" Jeff let out a toothy grin. He knew it! Not only was he hot as hell, but he was now extraordinary! The thought of being better then Mike and Amanda crossed his mind.
"No, But your Seedot is! The only special you belong to is special education," Mr. Farkin replied with a laugh that shattered Jeff’s intoxicating happiness. The young teen toppled over and smashed his face into the video phone, causing the teacher to fall back in his chair.
"Well, have to go, got a class!" Mr. Farkin said speedily and hung up.
Jeff stood up and stared at Seedot. It was blinking a lot as it peered up at its trainer, wondering what had just gone on.
"I heard what your teacher said,” Jeff heard Laura’s voice behind him. “Sorry I was mean earlier, I was just shocked by your Seedot knowing that attack.”
"You should be! Next time you decide to go all ‘PMS monster’, make sure it’s not on me! And to make it up to my hot self, I want a rematch!" Jeff retorted.
Laura looked up with mixed expressions. She found it rude that he mentioned a woman’s monthly visitor in her presence, but also enjoyed the fact that he wanted a rematch. She decided to let the last comment slide.
"You're on!" she said with a grin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Taillow wing attack!" Mike muttered. The Pokemon flew down and bashed into Wooper, sending it tumbling back.
“Slugma, try a yawn!" Clyde roared. Slugma let out a low yawn and soon Taillow fluttered to the ground with drooping eyes. A small bubble erupted from its nostril and Mike knew it was asleep.
"Return!" He shouted.
"Ooh, put them all to sleep!" Bonnie said excited by the Pokemon’s ability.
"Electrike, use spark!" Mike instructed. The Pokemon let off the attack, but Wooper leapt in the way, taking the electricity in and allowing it to pass into the ground under it, leaving both Pokemon unharmed.
"Yawn," Clyde repeated to his Pokemon. Slugma opened its mouth again, and Electrike was snoring like a baby in no time flat.
"Return!" Mike said recalling the electric Pokemon to its Pokeball. Now only Torchic remained. "Torchic, use ember!” Torchic let off the barrage of fireballs, but Wooper just took this attack as well, seemingly unfazed by it.
"Ha-ha, what a weakling!" Bonnie snickered. Suddenly, Torchic let its attack go haywire, causing fire to go everywhere. A speck hit the bag Bonnie held and burned it open, allowing Mudkip to escape. A second hit her hair and she erupted in flames.
“Get it out, get it out!” Bonnie screamed running around the field before Wooper doused her off.
"Yawn!" Clyde ordered.
"Mudkip, use water gun!" Amanda joined the battle. The blue mud skipper launched the attack and Slugma was smashed into Clyde. He dropped his bag and Amanda ran to retrieve it, untying it and allowing Ralts to leap out.
"Use confusion!" Amanda said as soon as they had reunited. Ralts concentrated hard, picking up the team members and their respective Pokemon. It then pulled its arms apart, sending all that it held high into the sky and away from the area.
"Thanks Mike!" Amanda said picking up Ralts and hugging it. “They just came out of nowhere. I wonder why they are so intent on following us.”
Mike’s face turned red from blushing and he recalled Torchic.
"I got some good training in today!" he said, not knowing what else to say. He wanted to change that previous statement to “I did it all for you,” but couldn’t bring himself to.
"So did I!" Let's go check to see if Jeff's awake yet!" Amanda responded. She recalled her two Pokemon and the two teens headed off to find their third companion.
"Seedot, razor leaf!" Jeff commanded from the field that the two trainers chose to battle. It was situated in the corner of the park. The special Pokemon released the barrage of leaves at Marill, but the Pokemon just rolled away.
"Marill, use iron tail!" Laura shouted. Marill wound up its tail as the spherical tip became a silvery metal. It then smacked it into Seedot. Seedot sprawled across the field and slowly got back up.
"Use growth!" Jeff countered. Seedot nodded and it began to soak in energy, turning its body a florescent green.
"Marill use bubble!" Laura followed up. Mike and Amanda approached the scene to see Seedot struck with the attack.
"Battling again?" Mike commented. Jeff let out a fake laugh.
"Seedot, use nature power! Kill that little rat!" he then ordered. Seedot released the attack. It formed into a barrage of stars which struck Marill in a blinding swift attack.
"Now razor leaf!"
The acorn launched the leaves at the immobile Marill, sending it falling back as the leaves scraped across it, leaving the Pokemon with many cuts.
"Marill get up!" Laura yelled. Marill slowly did, but it was getting tired.
"Seedot!" the acorn suddenly roared, its quiet disposition suddenly turning into an eruption of screaming.
"What's up with you?" Jeff asked. “Aw God, you’re not bipolar too are you?”
Seedot's expression changed and it suddenly began to glow! Mike and Amanda stared in shock as the acorn's shape changed into that of a small marionette-like figure complete with a pointy nose and bulbous green tinted thighs.
"Nuzzzzleaf!" the newly formed Pokemon said in a sturdy manner. It was short with a brownish body, a Pokemon known as a Nuzleaf.
"You evolved," Jeff muttered with a shocked expression before continuing, “into Pinocchio…”
Amanda pulled out her Pokedex and aimed it at the creature.
"Nuzleaf; the wily Pokemon. Nuzleaf live in densely overgrown forests. They occasionally venture out of the forest to startle people. This Pokemon dislikes having its long nose pinched." the Pokedex muttered.
"You have your first dark type!" Mike grinned at his friend. Jeff was completely still. He then leapt high into the air and made a fist.
"YESSSS!" he screamed and began to do the Macarena on the field. His new Nuzleaf looked at him with a weirded-out expression.
"In case you're forgetting, we still have a battle to finish," Laura reminded her opponent. Mike could tell she was starting to worry. Jeff stopped his dance and returned to the battle.
“Nuzelaf, crunch attack!” he shouted, wanting desperately to try out new dark type attacks. “Come on darkie, make with the purple energy!”
Jeff loved the display of dark type attacks. The violet hues that oozed around a dark type when it let off an attack, but Nuzleaf didn’t ooze anything.
“Why aren’t you crunching? Come on, you didn’t evolve into a pacifist did you?” he screeched, taunting his own Pokemon.
“Jeff, Nuzleaf can’t use crunch.” Mike informed him. “Just keep doing what you did before.”
“But I want to see the purple energy!” Jeff whined back.
“Then lose the match,” Mike retorted.
"Ugh, Nuzleaf, use razor leaf!" Jeff shouted at his Pokemon, not wanting to lose.
"Nuzzzz!" the Pokemon roared as it released the barrage of leaves.
“Ha, now I have a special Nuzleaf!" Jeff said happily, hoping the Nuzleaf would erupt in purple just to satisfy his desires. Marill dodged the leaves and leapt into the air.
"Use iron tail!" Laura yelled. The Pokemon wound its tail again and slammed into Nuzleaf. The grass type bounced back, but raced right in again at Marill.
It was then that Jeff remembered something from school; the one thing that he stayed awake for. Nuzleafs main dark type attack was faint attack. This was his moment to shine, to show off his dark abilities.
"Nuzleaf, use faint attack!" Jeff commanded with personal satisfaction. The Pokemon disappeared and reappeared beside Marill, clouds of purple shimmering where the Pokemon had been. It struck Marill hard, sending it flying.
"Ha, like what I learned in Dark Pokemon Strategies?" Jeff asked his opponent. Marill did not get up.
“Yes! You suck Laura! I am the winner, in your face!” Jeff began to dance again.
Laura recalled Marill to its Pokeball.
"Wow, you're an awesome trainer." she said, knowing that Jeff‘s immature comments were not what he really thought. Jeff shook her hand and continued his jig.
"No hard feelings about before, maybe we can battle again someday," she then commented. Jeff nodded and watched as the blonde girl headed off.
He then turned to Nuzleaf, the vertically challenged biped. It stared up at him and he leaned down to it. Jeff placed his palm out and Nuzleaf cocked its head. It then figured out what he wanted and smacked him a high five.
"Aww, little Jeffy is showing affection again?" Mike laughed.
"Hell yeah I am, this is a dark type we're talking about here!" Jeff responded with a laugh.
"Well how about heading to the gym now? I know you’re itching for that battle," Amanda suggested.
"Good idea, you can see me kick more butt than Jeff did today," Mike replied.
Jeff laughed and recalled his new Pokemon.
"No one kicks more butt than me. You can try, but you’ll soon learn that I am indeed the shiznit,” he hammered into Mike trying to sound as cool as his new Pokemon. It didn’t work very well.
“Let’s just go before Jeff starts speaking in complete slang,” Amanda said and started off. Mike and Jeff followed close behind.
Next Chapter- Chapter 9: Tough Battle! Mike's First Gym Fight!
Mike fights the Burgundy City Gym Leader for a chance at the Desert Badge!
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FlamingRuby
The magic of Pokemon
::giggles at Jeff's victory dance::
Jeff is always a riot!
Jeff is always a riot!
J
jirachiman876
Guest
*rotfls* That was a funny chapter, Jeff was his usual hilarious self. He's getting up there with greg. It was an interesting chapter, nothing much happened though except for an awkward battle and another show up by team steam. I gotta a couple of jeff comments to piont out for the heck of it.
"You two!” he shouted to his two grass types. “Fight to the death."
Pure genius, exactly what greg would do. I guess it was a good thing IceKing based greg off jeff.
"You evolved," Jeff muttered with a shocked expression before continuing, “into Pinocchio…”
Best, line, eva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
began to do the Macarena
Funnest victory dance to do.
jirachiman out ;385;
PS Don't worry stonay, I'll start to do the same for greg when you get the next chapter out. Don't feel too jealous.
"You two!” he shouted to his two grass types. “Fight to the death."
Pure genius, exactly what greg would do. I guess it was a good thing IceKing based greg off jeff.
"You evolved," Jeff muttered with a shocked expression before continuing, “into Pinocchio…”
Best, line, eva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
began to do the Macarena
Funnest victory dance to do.
jirachiman out ;385;
PS Don't worry stonay, I'll start to do the same for greg when you get the next chapter out. Don't feel too jealous.
Sike Saner
Peace to the Mountain
*And now, it's time for...*
I certainly hope we haven't seen the last of Greg. Put him and Jeff in a scene together and it's instant magic!
Terrific. And then he goes on to squash the thing, of course. Splat!
That's just boss, and you know it.
Delicious deadpan delivery!
"The same way you know how to shut up". Yep, there's a line I'll have cause to use.
If Seedot had actually answered him there, I would have lost it.
And thus, you have forever changed the way I look at Nuzleaf...
...JEFF! FRICKIN'! RULES!!!
And, oh, my God. Jeff said "shiznit"...
Pray for us all...
I think I am not alone in thinking that the world would benefit stupendously if you were to release a fully Jeff-centric spinoff. Everybody chant along with me:
JEFF FRICKIN' RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN' RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN' RULES!
Meh, just one of those things I enjoy out of context.
...And YAY for the return of Burning Bonnie!
This continues to be awesome. I'll be here for the next installment, you can count on it!
The Best of Jeff!
(chapter 8 edition)
(chapter 8 edition)
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
I certainly hope we haven't seen the last of Greg. Put him and Jeff in a scene together and it's instant magic!
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Terrific. And then he goes on to squash the thing, of course. Splat!
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
That's just boss, and you know it.
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Delicious deadpan delivery!
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
"The same way you know how to shut up". Yep, there's a line I'll have cause to use.
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
If Seedot had actually answered him there, I would have lost it.
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
And thus, you have forever changed the way I look at Nuzleaf...
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
...JEFF! FRICKIN'! RULES!!!
And, oh, my God. Jeff said "shiznit"...
Pray for us all...
I think I am not alone in thinking that the world would benefit stupendously if you were to release a fully Jeff-centric spinoff. Everybody chant along with me:
JEFF FRICKIN' RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN' RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN' RULES!
GoldenNoctowl77 said:
Meh, just one of those things I enjoy out of context.
...And YAY for the return of Burning Bonnie!
This continues to be awesome. I'll be here for the next installment, you can count on it!
Bleh, now im worried if I made Greg TOOO much like Jeff. When planning for Gregs charachter, I just wanted some nice comic relief and I recalled Jeff and his idiocity and realized that I could make Greg a moron too. I swear GN77 when you read my fic that I tried to keep Greg as far away from Jeff as possible! I made his comic relief more about flirting, slowness, and his crazy Slowpoke.
Anyways...onto the chapter eight review!!!!!!!
o_0. Thats the first time I made that face reading this fic. It kinda neared the line with me, but then again Im being a hypocrite concidering the huge innuendo I have with the bad guys in my fic.
Wow...that was hilarious yet perverted at the same time. Nasty little Jeff
Im beginning to wonder what traits Jeff borrows from you GoldenNoctowl...I'm sorry Im so stupid, but was that sarcasm? I have a really horrible sarcasm detector.
*cough cough* YOU SHOW THEM BROTHER!
CAPITILIZE THE FIRST WORD OF A SENTENCE!!!!! Sorry, I ignored other mistakes but that one just got to me. *shakes head* You are not very nice to "overweight" or as we southeners call it "dem kids who ate to much fried chicken and grits" kids are you. *shakes head* (I'm just messing with you)
Poor personalityless Nurse Joy...I was wondering how Jeff would react.
LOL! I was thinking the same exact thing. I sorta found this passage weird as well since Mr. Farkin is supposed to be one of those mean, serious guys and I cant see him bursting out in laughter like that.
Whee, more errm "Protagashipping" (I dont think you liked Girlyshipping as much as I did...) I wonder how youre going to handle their shipping in this version since [spoil]I dont remember Mike ever telling Amanda, or Amanda returning any signs. Then again, after the fourth gym battle I stopped reading all non gym battle chapters[/spoil]
Hmm, that seemed to be some aweomse charachter development right there, unless everyone else relized that by now too and only me, the retarded reviewer, as usual didnt realize it.
Dont know why, but every time I see a missing comma from a coordinating conjuction, it always bothers me. Arrg!
Anyway, now that im done on commenting on every single line and paragraph time for the review. This chapter was another important chapter for both Jeff and Mike. We see Mike training with his pokemon here, which I think is extremely important in a journey fic, and you added a nice bit of humor in it too. I thought the pokemon did rather too well, some miserable failing would have been nice. Jeffs comments are getting crazier and crazier by the moment (Im sorta getting tired some of them, but am continuing to love others) and I wished their would have been more charachter development for Jeff than there was. Sorry im being so demanding with the charachter development. Im kinda beginning to worry for Amanda cause she seems to be falling into a damsel in distress with the cutesy pokemon position, but all the times she punches Jeff seems to balance it out. While your battle scenes are nicely described and detailed, their just not seeming to WOW me yet. I like being wowed
Next chapter would be a GREAT time to sweep me off my feet with the battles since it is a gym battle. I sorta had a gripe with the PokeCenter scene, I just felt it wasnt as good as it could have been even though the whole "special" scene was priceless. Man, sorry Im just pointing out all the negative junk. I really liked the description of Marill (even though she is virtually the easiest pokemon to describe ) and other descriptions in this chapter. Bonnie and Clyde are becoming rather predictable, but I know their going to become much better later on, so it's cool. By far I think your best trait is your style and of course humor. You're very excellent at drawing the reader in and then entertaining them with rib cracking jokes!I expect A LOT from the next chapter since it is a gym chapter. Be sure to give the leader a nice personality for me since I consider charachters and transition the two most important things in writing (and you have transition down). You will be recieving one of my SUPER DEE DUPER reviews for this next chapter so theres some extra incentive to revise it good! I mean, who doesnt want to get a good grade in my SUPER DEE DUPER review? *crickets chirp*
Edit:
Ahem,
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
WORSHIP ICEKING!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
JEFF FRICKIN RULES!
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indigestible_wad
Well-Known Member
You called Jeff Jess. He is such an idiot. He keeps on annoying everyone and assuming the idiotic.
You also don't seem to write women very well, or that girl wasn't listening to anything Jeff was saying. Women get mad when someone says anything like what jeff said. And the multiple times he said it would've made her hate him. She wouldn't have asked for a rematch.